League of Lilywhites - update

Well. What can I say. Over one month since its launch, I find myself standing alone at the battlefield. A one man nation of passion. Seems that nobody has taken this seriously, so once more I have to be the voice of a generation. A generation too scared to get their hands bloody. A generation too worried about the consequences. A generation looking at someone else to do the dirty work on their behalf. Same old story.

I'll continue to fight the good fight, as I've done over the years. Seems people are more traditionalist that I believed them to be, preferring to persist with the old school way of getting things done.

So be it. But this calls for evasive action. Stay tuned.

Ticket Fiasco continued...

The League of Lilywhites continues to make the voices of the little people heard. No, not midgets, not that I have anything against them. You just don't seem to see many of them at White Hart Lane. In fact, I don't think I've seen midgets at any Premiership game. They must dislike football. Which is a bit off IMO. I mean, fair enough, they are too small to play the game at a professional level but that doesn't mean they have to turn up their noses at the game altogether. Supporting a club, no matter how big or small, still reaps rewards. Unless you support Leeds. Anyway, I'm not talking about midgets I'm talking about Spurs fans. All little in the shadow of the dark Emperor, Levy.

Here's some damning evidence picked up from GG.net that disgusts me so much, I puked with anger, then licked it up unapologetically only to re-puke it:

You will recall that, when THFC switched their ticketing operations from Seatbooker to eticketing.co.uk, the primary reason given for this change, was the fact that 'they were finding it difficult to sell single seats'. They [THFC] stated that people tended to select single seats, leaving odd empty ones here and there - which, they claim, they could then not sell. Therefore, they chose to do away with seat level selection and, instead, went for an option where you can only select the block...then hope for the best. Great.

Well, sorry THFC, but it looks like Seatbooker would've been able to negate this problem. Take a look at this webpage - one which highlights the problem, and then advertises the fact that they have a solution;

http://home.seatbooker.net/doc_98.html

Again, yet more proof (as if it were ever needed) that THFC took this regressive decision based on one reason only - cost. eticketting.co.uk are able to spread the cost of such operations across their client base, thus making it cheaper to administer, on THFC's behalf. The service now provided is no more reliable, and the experience no more pleasant than that which we received via Seatbooker (bless their cotton socks).

Look at the shambles at receiving ST's this year? Utter joke. Penny pinching THFC at it again - insulting the intelligence of those who pay handsomely through the turnstiles. Not only do they see no harm in providing us with an even worse service than last season, but they now take our money a full SIX weeks in advance - a completely unjustifiable step. Pure and utter greed Shame on you.

No wonder we make so much f*cking profit - the club/company is cutting admin costs all over the place, yet - at the same time, using OUR money to make interest for the company. Maybe we do need to be taken private - remove this ridiculous desire to squeeze every single penny out of the 'loyal support' which they claim to never take for granted. I wouldn't mind if I thought my money - and their profit - was going towards a lovely environment to watch football in. But it isn't - it's still the same decrepit White Hart Lane which has remained virtually unchanged for over 10 years. 'A decision will be made in [insert random mm/yyyy]' they say - yet more prevarication.

~ SM

Money is being drained out of us like a blood thirsty vampire suckling on a pretty girls neck. We (we Spurs fans) are the pretty girl. Yes, we maybe dressed up in a short little number with black heels, but we are in no way asking for it, just because we're walking down a dark alley. See, for all the 'We have money' hype the club spins, what they fail to reference is the fact that its actually our money and it's being spent in the interest of the club and not for our interest. We are the club and the club should be doing us a service, not a dis-service.

The vampire needs to be staked. And I'm happy to step forward as Buffy. In fact, I see myself having more in common with Faith. Rougher round the edges and more unpredictable. Levy continues to open hellmouths, without any suggestion of remorse. It's time to bring a stop to the impending apocalypse.

'We cherish our loyal support'

The League of Lilywhites is in full swing. Yes, currently, there is only me, but that's fine. Once the football seasons erupts into action there will be plenty of opportunity to recruit. In the mean time, its a case of scouring the Spurs forums for like-minded fans who are not easily blinded by merchandise and the like.

One such fan is Sheikh Ma Nuggets. Honorary member of the League of Lilywhites. The following is from a post at Glory-Glory.co.uk:

Attendance figures to dip below "99%"

Right, first off - the "99%" is a figure gleamed from the various chest-puffing exercises that the club prides itself in carrying out - 'we have sooo much support'. Essentially, 99% (or 98.x%) is a fantastic, highly respectable and not easily rivalled figure.

But I have my doubts about whether this shall remain, for this season anyway.

As we all know, the club introduced a new ticketing system for this season. It's rubbish. The club tried to brush aside various criticisms, stating how the change would carry with it 'a better experience' (load of tosh) and that 'the system would be far more robust and reliable' (more tosh)

The system - as has been demonstrated - is no more reliable, and the experience is no more enjoyable than which was provided by Seatbooker. In fact, it's worse; you can't even see how many tickets are available, and you don't even know if your payment has been processed (after clicking it for the fifthteenth time) How the hell is that an improved service?

We all know why Seatbooker was dropped - it was a case of cost. eTicketing.co.uk are able to deliver the same (well, minus choice) service, as they are able to spread their costs across their client base - unlike Seatbooker. Think 'Tesco' and you're not far off the scent. So don't be fooled that THFC plc gave two hoots about the "customer experience" at all - that's just bullshit put out to drive through the changeover. Were we ever consulted about "customer experience"? No - there you go.

And so we see how well the games are selling - or not, which would be more accurate.

Take for example Everton at home, now I know this will just be anecdotal - but that game has now gone on General Sale. 'So what' I hear you say? Well, last season, I distinctly remember that this game did not reach General Sale - and, in fact, was sold out within a matter of days. Now, of course, there has been the undeniable farce of people not getting their membership (CRN's) packs in time - and it would be wrong to discount that as a contributing factor - but I think the problem will perpetuate right through the course of the season. THFC plc don't think fans care about choice - well they will soon learn that we do. Very much so.

Sure the "big games" like Arsenal will sell out - but that's simply because people don't necessarily care where they sit - just as long as they are there. But as for the smaller, less attractive games? I fear it will be a case of 32-33,000 – which, across the course of a season, would drop our much heralded attendance figure down to around 90%.

This will turn out to be a rather expensive lesson to THFC plc – that is, unless they take some drastic action mid-season. But I can’t see that being so, as you’d have to imagine we are locked-in to at least a 12mth contract with eticketting.co.uk. The club took a regressive step in ‘falling into line with it’s contemporaries’ – hardly worth forking out all the extra cash we have done for the ‘Gold/Silver/Pleb’ memberships?

But then, will this be as expensive a lesson as I first thought? Remember, THFC plc love you so much that – from this season (and probably every one following) they will make claim to your monies a full SIX weeks prior to the event actually talking place. That’s an increase of two weeks – nice. So, while the club come out with their ‘we cherish our loyal support and don’t ever take them for granted’ bullshit – they see no harm in making extra interest in YOUR money, for no valid reason but pure greed.

I'm sure the interest made will cover dinner dates at the Ivy for Levy and family.

Name and Shame

Apparently, in some bar in Loughton, Mr Lennon (pished) was 'aving it large and telling everyone he doesn’t care what people say (with regards to his drinking) and that he Spurs pushed him out of the club because of his behaviour he would be 'ok' because plenty of clubs would be happy to take him on.

Right, firstly, what a fucking crock of shite. This 'rumour/story/exclusive' is simply a bunch of text posted on an Internet forum. It serves no purpose other than to stir up fan opinion against the young urbanish r'n'b hobbit like winger.

Firstly, people in all walks of life with jobs with responsibility go out and destroy their livers on booze or worse. And I've seen no evidence that Lennon is painting the pavement with carrot coloured flavor. He's a young lad who has been photographed a couple of times out on the town and people who either see or snap a photo of him are quick to add in a quote in order to make it all a bit more interesting.

Its cool to be a footballer

I'll give you an example. I saw Jade Goody at Harlow shopping last week. She was with some random bloke (obviously her designated driver) and Jack (her bloke). She walked past me flicking her hair with a look that read 'Yes, its me'.

That's it. Nothing else happened. Now, if I was inclined to shit-stir I'd go posting on a BB forum that I saw her (the truth) and that she was fighting off abuse from other shoppers who were calling her a daft bint (the lie).

You can call this lie 'The Prestige'. A fabrication that gives the truth some weight for it to get noticed when it gets posted.

This type of propaganda is very much what The Agents of Levy partake in. It incites negative energy towards a player.

In this case, the aim would be for fans to turn against the talented Lennon so that when Levy sells him to a rival club (for a substantial amount of dosh) we wont be too fussed. We'll all be:

"Yeah, that Lennon is a proper little Greavise off the pitch with the booze....good riddance"

As (currently) the only active member of the League of Lilywhites, I hereby denounce this bullshit story as bullshit.

Avid readers of this blog will point out that I have been a stern disapprover of the Bling Squad that has developed at the Lane and would like to clearly state that I was quick to judge certain players.

Enjoying the odd beverage in-between training should not be an issue of public concern. The Bling Squad should be allowed to party on as long as performances on the pitch are of a high quality.

I'll be keeping an eye out for any developments of this 'story' on Lennon and will critically attack any member of any Spurs forum who attacks Lennon.

The League Of Lilywhites will NAME AND SHAME.

League of Lilywhites - The Splinter Group

Seems that the word has spread about the League of Lilywhites, and we have been blessed with a celebrity member. The above pic was sent in from an avid reader of this blog.

Not sure where it was snapped (I'm guessing in North London somewhere, otherwise, possibly Hollywood). I'll ignore the fact that Mark Wahlberg (of 'The Departed' fame) has chosen the colour orange, considering it’s not one associated with the club. But he’s American, so all is forgiven. I don’t recognise the people he is with. I’m guessing they are Paxtonites?

Not received any official word from anyone in the pic. Seems that the League of Lilywhites is spreading in the style of ‘Fight Club’ with word of mouth creating our first ‘splinter group’.

Mark – if you are reading this, please mail me. Good improvisation with the get-up you’re wearing (lets talk colours mate, should be white and blue). And I particularly like the 633 reference, a nod towards communications UDP port 633. Smart reference towards the fact we are an online firm. Clever. Mark and the The 633's could potentially be our publicity division of the firm?

Will audit later this week on the amount of members we have and also update on the firms badge of honour.

EDIT: It would appear that 'blogger' has removed the photo of Mark Wahlberg wearing the LOL symbol. Would seem that Levy's far reaching hand has struck me down again.

League of Lilywhites - UPDATE

I have been inundated with membership requests for the League of Lilywhites. That’s something I would wish to state, but at this current moment in time, the truth is I’ve had just a pathetic 9 emails. One of which was from a farmer declaring his love for donkey sex and another from my bank requesting I hand over my credit card details for security purposes.

I will continue to perceiver and will update you all next week.

Membership requests to: spooky @ conspiracyjunkie dot com

League of Lilywhites est. 2007

It’s time for a new world order. It’s time to re-define what it is to be a football fan. It’s time to put together a firm.

Now Danny Dyer maybe a part-time mockney West Ham fan, but respect to Britain’s finest method actor for having the balls to walk into the territories of the worlds hardest and largest firms. From the political former war ridden lands of Croatia and Serbia to the fanatical association clubs in Argentina. Whether it’s the neo-nazis of Italy or the gun-holders of Brazil, he’s been in the mix of all the naughty action from all four corners, making his original pilgrimage across England and Scotland appear bland in comparison.

Culturally, we simply don’t mass-produce the type of hatred and match day fanaticism that the South Americans or even the Polish are capable of. And excluding Celtic and Rangers and in some ways Utd and Liverpool (docks and unemployment) we also don’t come close to the hatred, for example, the Croatian and Serbian fans share.

Arguably, most of the time, the heydays of the 1980's were simply down to football, pure and simple. Spurs and Arsenal hate each other because of long forgotten arguments over a caravan being parked in our street. It’s not exactly biblical. Its a 'I hate you because thats what I'm meant to do' type of set-up.

So over here in England, it seems no excuse is needed other than ‘you support them lot’ to start a fight. Hooligans fight other hooligans because both sets wear opposing colours. Very little in the way of politics or religion or differences in social class. And firms are powerless in orchestrating any influence over the clubs they represent. You won’t find Spooky taking Danny Dyer on a tour of White Hart Lane and it’s trophy room anytime soon. Though it would be pretty pointless other than to show him the collection of spider-webs, including the ones that dates back to the sixties.

CCTV and over-the-top policing means that any fighting is pre-arranged, making the mobile phone the most potent accessory for a modern day English thug. England is Fight Club with beer guts and questionable fashion choices.

The anti-George Graham Protest of 1998 when the burning of a season ticket got out of hand

Yes, it still kicks off, but this isn’t the 1970’s and 80’s. The modern fan sometimes prefers to take his bird to the game and enjoys the odd pill or line of coke now and again rather than constantly drowning in warm lager. The modern fan likes to do all the gesturing and shouting of abuse and ‘giving it some’ without the actual physical contact of punches, kicks and Stanley knives...then rushes home to knock-one out over the Football Factory or The Firm (not the one with Tom Cruise, or maybe depending on which way you are inclined).

It’s all rather embarrassing. And while some firms take pride in being hooligans for life, it doesn’t serve an actual purpose other than the adrenaline rush that comes with fighting. Which, granted, is more than half of what it's all about. But it doesn’t result with us getting our own supporters clubs like in Holland. And it doesn’t empower us in any way. And if you’re caught fighting, you’re banned from your home ground and its practically game over. It's zero tolerance resulting in an underground culture.

Spooky, during the 'Hoddle' Riots of 2003

Its time to re-define things. Step aside Spurs Yoof and Trevor Tanner.

Modern day English hooliganism is dead. Its now time for a new era. Let's take the swaggering off the suburban streets and alley ways and onto the information superhighway.

I am proud to officially announce that memberships to a new modern-day football firm are now open to all fanatical fans of Tottenham Hotspur. The unveiling of our badge of honour and the avatar that each member will possess will be presented in the near future on this blog. And the name of this firm?

'League of Lilywhites'

This is unlike any other firm on the planet. This firm cannot be seen by CCTV or chased by police dogs. This firm cannot bleed or be ambushed. This firm laughs in the face of tear gas. This firm sits behind a firewall of passion. This firm looks over the domains of football forums and instead of broken bottles and led pipes, we use a biting emoticon and the reply button.

This firm is online and connected.

The League of Lilywhites are the new generation. A cyber Yid army of relentless browsing and posting. And no DOS attack, IP Ban or DNS look-up can intimidate us.

Our ethos:

• To remain unequivocally committed to the club and its history, placing its importance above chairman, manager and players

• To keep an eye on Daniel Levy, purely through Internet connectivity, where restraining orders and electronic tags do not exist
  

• To continue to address the chairman via stern and insightful emails/letters retaining balanced and constructive opinions and viewpoints at all times without ever being offensive
  

• To stand our ground with club and opposing fan propaganda with well written blog entries and forum posts, as well as an active 'hit them hard' leaflet campaign and a potential future online fanzine
  

• To denounce any 'In the Know' charlatans and give them the humiliation they strongly deserve by using the Art of Flaming as our principle weapon of justice.
  

• To campaign against members-only Spurs forums who consider themselves 'elite', targeting their columnists and infiltrating their forums
  

• To overcome the growing threat of the Levy financed black-ops propaganda puppet regime - 'The Agents of Levy' (their principle aim is to disrupt the publics perception of the supporters and use dirty trick tactics to undermine fan politics, leaving us to appear fickle, indecisive and contradictory. Thus giving the power back to the board)
  

• To help retain a balanced middle ground between delusions of grandeur and knee-jerk depression on various Spurs Internet message boards.

• To decimate any opposing forum invasions to any online Tottenham stronghold

• To continue The War Against the Stewards (T.W.A.T.S.) and our fight to remain standing in the Park Lane during games
  

Our philosophy:

"Football forums are about glory, about posting with style and with a flourish, about going out and flaming the lot, not waiting for them to die of boredom" ~ Spooky, 2007

We post for the honour of the club, in the spirit of Harry Hotspur, with the grace of Danny Blanchflower, the strength of Dave Mackey and mentality of Bill Nicholson.

There we have it. We are both a political and interactive supporters group. We are not available for actual physical fights - though we are happy to have 'meet-ups' with opposing online firms in IRC or a newsgroup .

More information will follow, including the firms avatar...coming soon.

Fans wishing to become members of the League of Lilywhites firm, email me at (to be updated)