Levy: The Trilogy - Part II

COMOLLI/JOL

Slick. Blame the man you hired if the hiring of the new manager fails. Just hope nobody notices that you hired the man who hired the manager. Yes, our beloved and glorious chairman has now distanced himself from potential failure. If Juande Ramos doesn’t achieve the required success (4th spot – how I miss the days of aiming for actual silverware) then Damien Comolli will most likely lose his job. Which would put us in a position of having no Director of Football or manager, meaning Levy would have to hire a new DoF who would then have to recommend a new manager. You keeping up with this? Here’s the quotage:

"Damien recommended Juande Ramos, so clearly he would have to take responsibility if it didn't work. I have every confidence it will work.

Virtually every club in Spain has a sporting director. We want a coach who specialises in getting the best out of players, which means making the team selections and making all the tactical decisions. What the sporting director does is take a lot of the pressure off the manager.

They can go on scouting missions and be in charge of scouts. They also have to be in charge of the medical department and the academy, and it is impossible for one person to do everything to the best of their ability”

So, blame Comolli if it goes pear-shaped. Again. Something I’m struggling with though is the fact that apparently Comolli is there to ‘take the pressure off the manager’ and go on scouting missions. All well and good, but how will the manager not feel under pressure if he goes out and buys us another Zokora of Kaboul? Ramos won’t stand a fucking chance.

Seems that Levy already has a ready-made excuse.

Then we have the ‘dig’ at Jol. Not unheard of the rumour concerning Jol flirting with other clubs while at Spurs. Apparently Jol ‘went for two jobs’ while in charge at Spurs. Though ‘went for’ doesn’t tell us whether he had actual interviews and rejected or was rejected. Does paint the big man in a different colour if any truth is to be had in these allegations. The same article mentions that Levy can not guarantee that Berbatov would remain at the club after the Jan transfer window. Though there is no actual quote for this one, so I’ll dismiss it until someone points me in the direction of something more substantial.

So, what we have here is the old ‘lets stab him in the back before he stabs us in the back’ scenario. Don’t know what the problem is tbh. He went for the Newcastle job. That doesn’t really count.

Levy: The Trilogy - Part I

THE EGM

You know what it’s like. You’re standing at a bus stop waiting for ages and then three come along at the same time. It’s been a little quiet from Mr Chairman recently, quotes wise. We’ve had the leakage of the alleged new Spurs stadium (plans have been drafted and fired across to the council). Would seem that rebuilding WHL and having to ground share is the most likely outcome. Then Levy gives us three shots of Levyisims.

• The EGM
• Comolli and Jol Blast
• An interview with a member of Glory Glory

I’m going to work through all three.

First up, The EGM – which took place on Monday 25th Nov at 2pm. Below, with comments.

Before we start on the official business I should like to say a few words to the meeting.

We have much to be optimistic about going forward and that is what I wish to concentrate on today. We have made changes recently in order to strengthen our position in several areas. This is a dynamic business and as such we have to constantly respond to changing circumstances, some within, but many outside, of our control.

Translated. 'We fucked up and humiliated the club publicly in the past so let’s not dwell on my personal mistakes and just brush it all under the carpet because the future is bright and any potential mistakes I will make going forward haven’t happened yet'.

Have to give him credit for the ‘dynamic business’ explaination, with a slight nod to ‘some within’ and ‘many outside’, in reference to control. Some within? How about all of them within? The fire is started by the man holding the matches.

As a result, these last three months have been testing times for us all. Both the Club and I personally have endured much criticism. We have absorbed much blame – very little of which was justified with facts. But we elected not to respond and rather to hold our counsel. We took the clear decision that we would not discuss private matters in public and we did this in the long-term interests of the Club and all parties involved.

I should now like to take this opportunity to once again thank Martin Jol, Chris Hughton and Hans Segers and wish them well in their future careers.

Again, this is textbook. Deny everything, sometimes with silence, sometimes with carefully constructed propaganda. I mean, come on. To state that discussing private matters in public is something the club did not do is hilarious considering the Kemsley/Ramos fiasco. If that's not publicly telling the world something is amiss at the club, I don’t know what is, whether you meant it or not. As for all the media coverage that followed, what do you expect from the tabloids finest? They never print the truth in its entirety, as distortion makes for better reading. You handled the whole affair with a distinct lack of class, playing into the hands of the media.

Nice touch with the ‘thank yous’. Magnanimous.

We have a new and respected coaching team and I look forward to introducing Juande to you after the formal proceedings today and for you to hear his thoughts on the remainder of the season.

The performance of the business means that we retain the ability to invest and, in respect of players on long contracts, we have no need to sell. It is noteworthy that all key players are on long-term contracts with the exception of Jermain Defoe, who has expressed publicly that he wants to remain at the club and I put it on record that we want him to stay.

The mention of ‘he wants to remain at the club’ is ominous. Sol Campbell anyone? The fact that Jermain’s agent is Sky Andrews should tell you everything you need to know about the situation. There’s no doubt that the player is doing the right thing from his own personal perspective. He doesn’t play every game, he doesn’t start every game. He could do so at another club. Fact is, he’s a bit shit. He hasn’t developed over the past 3 or 4 years suggesting he lacks the required footballing brain to become International class (yet alone world class). And with money being one of the main priorities of the modern day footballer, with Andrews’s guidance, why not seal a move away and earn a fair amount on the way? LOL, I said ‘earn’.

Defoe has to sign before the Jan transfer window, or he’ll be sold.

I should also like to correct newspaper reports that have existed, despite my denials, that ENIC has agreed to sell its shareholding in the Club. For nearly 7 years we have, I believe, moved this Club forward, but have had to endure constant speculation from those who would seek to detract from what we are achieving. For the record yet again, no offer has been made for the Club during my time here, not even by Roman Abramovich as was so incorrectly reported.

This year sees us report record financial results. TV, sponsorship, retail, ticket and corporate hospitality revenues have all contributed to an increase of 39% in turnover and good management of the business has seen profits rise to 31% of turnover. We have continued to upgrade the Ticket Office and this has now been relocated to Paxton Road. Service levels are critical in this area of the business and it is important that we continuously evaluate and raise standards of delivery. We have centralised customer service and this has been well received – we shall, however, continue to seek further improvements.

Yes, yes. You’re rich. We get it. Bagel sells alone in the West Stand should help pay for its renovation.

Investment and work on valuable community-based projects through the Tottenham Hotspur Foundation continues to go from strength to strength. In conjunction with our application for the Training Centre at Bulls Cross is a commitment to deliver a 10 year outreach programme within the local community worth in excess of £2.3m.

We currently have a minimum of one player per week attending a community event in areas local to the club and our facilities. It is a tremendous commitment not only by your club, but also by the First Team and Academy players who derive a genuine benefit and enjoyment from this aspect of their footballing lives. It is also a much valued and appreciated service to the communities.

Earlier this month we also launched our Spurs Learning Zone – a dedicated state of the art facility located here at the stadium, that will host daily classes of up to 30 local children, providing them with access to cutting edge information, communication, podcasting and digital editing technologies - a resource much welcomed by our local council.

Not only as a football club, but as a business in general, the level, quality and effect of our contribution to communities and good causes, is outstanding and sets us apart. We should recognise this and be rightly proud.

I have nothing sarcastic to say on this. Other than the £8M spent on Kaboul could have gone to the Spurs Learning Zone. Bit more value for money.

Looking to our capital expenditure projects - In respect of the stadium I can report, as promised in January, that we have refined our options. At this stage, as I am sure you will understand, it would be commercially inappropriate to discuss these in further detail. To date, Matthew Collecott and I have directed the project and we are making substantial progress. Last week we added to our project team with the appointment of Paul Phillips, who will be the project manager on a day-to-day basis. Paul has a proven track record in delivering complex stadium solutions and was the project leader on the Emirates Stadium.

We should all be conscious of the fact that we face significant hurdles and disadvantages in our search for an optimum solution to increased capacity. For example, with our current location, we do not have inherent land values in Tottenham that could drive enabling development and regeneration. Additionally, the Olympics is taking significant public funds out of the public purse which could assist with any major schemes. There is no easy option for us but we are determined to find a solution. We shall announce our preferred option in the first half of 2008.

Please be assured that your Board is applying the same vigour and determination towards achieving a successful outcome on this capital project as we did for the Training facility and I am pleased to be able to report good news on that now.

I hope we don’t leave WHL. I’m willing to wager we don’t, though ground sharing with West Ham makes me taste vomit every time I think about it. I’m sure everyone will know the final decision before the official announcement. Just keep an eye out for bit torrent links in Spurs forums. One thing I will say. If we remain at WHL, for the love of all things transporty, please give us an underground station within minutes of the stadium. Fucking bribe someone if you have to.

We achieved a terrific step forward with future plans when earlier this month Enfield Council Planning Committee voted to grant planning permission for our Football Training Centre – a combined First Team and Academy facility - at Bulls Cross, Enfield. We were absolutely delighted with this outcome, the culmination of years of hard work and determination by a dedicated in house team and external consultants. The application will now pass to the Mayor of London and the Government Office for London for final approval.

I shall now ask James Budd of architects KSS to make a brief presentation on an overview of the scheme.

Thank you James.

As you can see it is an outstanding facility – the creation of a world class First Team and Academy training facility set on over 60 acres and we have now achieved an important first step towards realising this vital project for the Club. It will be instrumental in attracting the best young talent and afford our current squad state of the art facilities in which to train over the season.

See. Bribes do work. As for attracting the best young talent, doubt we can compete with Wenger and his world wide circle of friends. When was the last time Spurs developed and progressed ‘young talent’ into a prominent role in the first team? Ledley King? Not exactly West Ham’s academy is it?

Our Academy is already home to some of the most outstanding young talent in the country. When much has been said about the need to nurture young home grown English talent, you can be proud that your Club boasts no fewer than 8 academy players in the England youth teams. Additional to this are a further 8 players who represent their countries at youth international level. The Club now has a total of 34 international players and 7 full England internationals.

I stand corrected. We already have the talent. I await to see if Pekhart, Dixon, Parret and company ever make it pass the reserves. Our youth players always get a big shout in the match day programmes but then end up at Orient on loan. Then sold to Hull or someone of equal standing. As for 34 international players, you’ve included Ghaly in that total, haven’t you, you cheating dog? And at this current moment in time, having 7 England internationals is really nothing to shout about. Especially as the only one who would stand a chance of a consistent place in the team is King, and he’s injured.

We shall keep you informed as we progress the Training Centre project – our current timetable aims for completion in the summer of 2010 but I would stress once again that there are still further stages to be passed in the next few months and we should also expect opposition to continue. I would ask that you continue to give it your support as we progress through those stages.

In closing, I should like to thank everyone at the Club for their contribution to last season's success and to the Club's supporters for their magnificent support. This year we celebrated our 125th Anniversary – a notable landmark for a great football club – but equally important that we now look ahead with confidence and ensure that glory is not a term used only to recall events from the past. We have much happening now that will impact greatly on our future.

Thank you

Believe me. We won’t be forgetting our 125th Anniversary in a hurry. It’s been a notable landmark alright. Like the time a porn star failed to get wood with Jenna Jameson. PATHETIC AND LIMP.

‘Glory’ will always be synonymous with the past, because our success is firmly placed there. The sooner all mention of 1961 is banished from the terraces and the directors box, the better.

Jol: Levy is alriiiiiiiight

This is unexpected.

Martin Jol revealing that he found out he was sacked from his nephew after the game. Believable Factor – 40%

He also states that it was 'rubbish' that he knew before the game. This is believable. Levy would have waited until after the game. No logical sense to ask him to clear out his office pre-kick.

But this is the most curious of his statements to the press:

Despite that embarrassment, Jol denies he angrily confronted Spurs chairman Daniel Levy as some reports suggested.

"I don't have a problem with Daniel or the club because they treated me very well throughout my time there.

Makes you wonder doesn’t it? If Jol is telling the truth here, and why doubt the big man, then that would suggest that Levy has been telling the truth throughout this ordeal meaning that everything we have been led to believe is nothing more than exaggeration and distortion of the truth by our friendly neighbourhood tabloids. Yet some how, from body language and turn of events, you just can’t quite fathom that as a possibility.

Open Letter from Emperor Levy

An open letter to supporters from Chairman Daniel Levy - with counter arguments.

Dear Supporter,

Today we welcome members of our new coaching team to the Lane - Juande Ramos and Marcos Alvarez and, in doing so, we bring to an end an unsettled two months for our Club.

Unsettled? That’s a polite way of describing it. Cast your mind back a season and a bit and the Spurs faithful were actually singing your praises. End of last season the Park Lane sang a chorus of ‘There’s only one Daniel Levy’. Compared to the Hoddle days we’ve never had it so good with the press. Gone are the embarrassments of Pleat announcing new signings before they had signed. Respectable conduct. And then it all went to shit. You and Kemsley and the rest of the guilty directors took us back into the realms of comedy with one PR disaster after another. Yes, the red top media tend to go over the top and re-print message board posts and are generally blood-thirsty dogs - but where there is smoke.....

And was anyone really surprised? We are talking about Spurs here. If West Ham United is the Adam Sandler of football we are the Will Ferrell.

Now we all know that the initial dash over to Spain to offer a deal to Ramos wasn’t a knee-jerk. Some say that Jol was flirting with other clubs. Others suggest you were making the club the priority by making sure there was someone to replace Jol if the worst happened, but that would only make sense if the board and you felt that Jol would soon be on his way soonish. Not because he would be presented with a better offer, but because behind the scenes it was all going pear-shaped. Everyone loves Jol. He’s like a big jovial teddy bear with a great sense of humour. You on the other hand, don't look good. Maybe a trip to Clinique is inorder, but even with a dash of M-Lotion, you are not a pretty picture. You are not media-friendly at the best of times. The press however love Jol.

Jol will always be the victim in this story. But the crux of the problem is the board itself. Impatient and suffering from delusions of grandeur you more or less slit the wrists of progress by deciding (it would seem) more than two months back that Jol wasn’t the right man. And by courting Ramos, the self-destruction of performance has seen us win one game out of eleven. Why allow for £40M worth of new transfers? Why not get rid of him at the start of the season?

Apparently Poyet spoke to Sevilla one month ago. If true, this would mean that when Ramos first ‘rejected’ the Spurs dizzying offer it was probably part of a smart ploy. It would be easier to believe that you simply stated to him: Be ready soon to take the helm. Maybe at Christmas maybe in the summer but maybe sooner. And sooner it was. Jol, dead man walking, was never gonna turn things round. His dignity was pretty much gang-raped. And if was tactically naive, then why leave him in charge?

Much has been written and speculated about the Club in the past few weeks. Quite clearly there are always two sides to every story but, in the interests of the Club, we have endured much criticism without responding or retaliating. We have instead issued statements, when appropriate, containing accurate and relevant information.

Accurate? Sorry. You have done nothing other than offer us propaganda and see-through explainations that do nothing to hide the shambolic handling of replacing one manager with another. You obviously believe the DoF structure works and it probably would if you found a technical director and coach who could work hand in hand together. Maybe, just maybe, you have it right with the Ramos appointment – but that doesn’t mean you are not accountable for hiring Santini and then Jol (who happened to be there) who were obviously not cut out for it in the long run. Had they been left to sign players themselves, then who knows.

For you, the supporters, there are two particular issues on which I would now like to comment: Firstly regarding reports about Thursday evening - the first time Martin and I met to discuss his position was after the match, there were no discussions prior and there were none of the reported disagreements. We would not have, in any case, asked Martin to take charge of the match under those circumstances. Media speculation which preceded the game, inaccurately reporting Martin as having resigned, was in no way a deliberate measure by this Club, in no way served our purposes and we have resented any suggestion that this was the case. Leaks (which are wholly unacceptable) and speculation accompanied the game and it is a sad and regrettable aspect that individuals get caught in their midst.

Brilliant bit of spin right there. Let’s look at the timeline. Ladbrokes take so many bets on Ramos being the new Spurs boss they suspend from taking anymore. In the Know’s (they got something right for once) post on various Internet message boards prior to the UEFA Cup match that Jol will be sacked and that Ramos and Poyet are set to join in time for Wednesday's game against Blackpool. That’s some seriously good guesswork there, don't you think? The posts on the Internet message boards are time-stamped. You got leakage IMHO. Prior to the match and during it, rumours spread of Jol tendering his resignation before kick-off. His face was like slapped thunder after half-time. Text messages, obviously reaching players too. The fans began singing his name. Then apparently - according to you - after the game ended you had a discussion he was asked to step down along with Chris Hughton. Basically, sacked. Cue Jol going mental and using colourful language to say his goodbye.

What really happened Daniel? How about this. You and the board have been planning for a good month or so to bring in Ramos. You have been making preparations and probably discussing backroom staff, transfer budget and when to move the chess pieces. The offer made 2 months ago still stood. You know the one? The offer you denied was ever made to Ramos. Anyways, we lose against Newcastle and you make the executive decision to finally get the ball rolling. Someone leaks the information out, hence the sudden rush of money placed with bookies and the fact that it travels fast enough to make it onto football forums before the evenings football kicks off. Chinese whispers has everyone thinking Jol has quit, turning the game into a surreal emotional mess as cameras pan from the bench to the directors box. After the game you sack him and then cue a pretense that we are approaching Ramos for the first time and in the space of a few days he agrees to accept the offer. You pretty much had this in the bag two months ago, waiting for the right moment to execute Martin Jol. It wasn't slick or pretty. It was Levyesque.

Levy and Kemsley

'You da man' - 'No, you da man'

Several events clearly did not happen as we all would have wished and I am the first to admit that things could have been handled differently and better.

Yes, you mean getting found out when Kemsley was out in Spain? Yes, what a shame that didn’t go according to plan. Use a fucking DSL connection and webcam next time.

Secondly, I should like to once again outline how the acquisition and disposal of players works at the club. We have a Football Management Group which meets on a regular basis – this is constituted by myself, Damien Comolli (Sporting Director), John Alexander (Club Secretary) and the Head Coach, now Juande Ramos. This group meets to discuss, identify and acquire players in targeted positions and to consider possible disposals. No player is brought into the Club or sold who is not approved by the coaching staff – it would be counter-productive to buy players that won’t be played. It is a system that Juande has worked with for years, which allows him to specify his needs and to concentrate on coaching the team whilst Damien and his scouting network seek options. This process clearly relies on accurate briefing and good decision making. It has a collective responsibility.

If true, then who takes the responsibility and blame for buying players this summer that do not directly and immediatley improve our squad? Bale is a fantastic signing, but still a teenager. Kaboul is also young and inexperienced and placing him alongside an out-of-form Dawson is just asking for trouble. Bent was unnecessary and a waste, unless Berbatov is being shifted out. Did you all agree that these were the signings needed to help cement the 5th spot and push for 4th?

If so, then Martin Jol along with your Brain Trust are all fucking idiots. But I’m inclined to believe that players get bought over the managers opinion. And if I’m wrong on that and Jol wanted those players, then surely Comolli isn’t very good at this job (along with the rest of you). If ordinary fans can see we need experienced cover for our defence and a creative midfielder along with a hard-tackling ball winner – then the chairman, the director of football and the manager should be capable of doing the same. The fact that there is so much attention on the director of football structure and media coverage on the fact that nobody is certain who signs the players – you should be able to figure out that there is a serious problem at hand. But then you know that. Its the reason why Jol's time at Spurs began to dissolve.

I mean, come on now. Collective responsibility? If that’s the case, then you need to sack Comolli too. I’m guessing your above explaination of the acquisition and disposal of players is how you wish for it to work from this day forwards. I hope you strike lucky this time. For all our sakes.

In conclusion, you, our supporters, should know that your Board has always had, and will always have, the long term interests of your Club as its sole focus.

Yes. Of course you do. But that doesn’t mean you know what you’re doing. You sack and employ new managers. You approve new signings. The buck stops with you. While Arsenal have had a decade of consistency we’ve had 11 managers, all of which have failed. Maybe we are trying too hard. We are not a big club. Get to grips with that and start to re-build with some common sense and patience and we might be able to make geninue long-lasting progress. Stop thinking with your head stuck up the arse of the typical Spurs fans expectations. And look at the bigger picture. Its not easy for anyone to take the place of one of the top 4 clubs. Whoever does may end up swapping it again with the team they displaced or another team that manages to sneak in for one season of making the grade. Build the foundations. Remember, the five year plan? It goes to shit within three years because you feel the need to chop and change. And yes, that's also the responsbility of the dreaming Spurs faithful. It seems that the appointment of Ramos might just save your skin. But I'm not going to hold my breath just yet.

In the past six years we have accommodated many changes, some of our own instigation and some that were thrust upon us by circumstance. I consider it the mark of the strength of an organisation as to how it deals with change, realigns and moves forward. We have made the changes, popular or unpopular as they may be, that we felt were necessary and right. New possibilities now face us, please lend us your support as we move forward together.

How about we try not rocking the boat this once? Do you think you can manage that? Yes, the fans are too blame always thinking and believing the ‘Messiah’ has arrived with every new managerial appointment. In our 125th season you have managed to make it one to remember for all the wrong reasons. Can't wait for the DVD release.

Yours,
Daniel

Give yourself a pat on the back.

Misery

Not sure where to begin.

Jol was interviewed yesterday (shown in SSN), and he stated various things that were contradictions. Like how we (Spurs) spend more time practising/training set-pieces than any other Prem club. Firstly, how would he know what other clubs do in training? And secondly, OMFG! We spend time practising set-pieces? And yet we hardly ever score from them and ALWAYS concede from them. This is like Jack the Ripper telling everyone he’s actually a great conversationalist.

Martin looked huggered. Completely defeated, his fate blatantly obvious to all. We all know he wont walk (money money money) and we know Levy has no options with who to bring in. So, the cancer continues to spread from top to bottom, from board level to first team and through to the stands where hope has disintegrated into a puddle of shit.

Is he or is he not friends with Berbatov? Who know’s. Everyone’s read about how he apparently asked Berbs 3 times to get up and warm-up. But then Berbatov has looked and acted like a stroppy bastard since pre-season so I wouldn’t blame him. Jol explained the benching down to 'saving him for Thursday'. I wonder if Defoe feels privileged to have been left at home, all in the name of the UEFA Cup.

The confusion continues to drown the memories of what it felt like to be on the up. Once more, I refer you back to the Newcastle game (yes, I have now seen it). Tactically astute is our manager and as for our players, they know exactly what their responsibility on the field should be.

Tainio: "I was surprised I was put on pitch, as I had only trained once after an injury. I went on to play on the wing - which wing it was, was a bit unclear. I think I was told to change positions four times during the match."

It’s Total Football all over again.

The Omnipresent that is Jenas continues to do what he does so well. Nothing. But to simply lay blame on his incompetence (unable to pass or hold onto the ball), to be fair, most of the team were guilty of the same inept display. Again. May as well start copy and pasting previous blog entries to save time ranting about the same thing every week. Then again, it’s therapeutic to laugh at my own misery. Helps to elevate the tragedy of the situation.

So who is exactly responsible for this mess? As manager you expect Martin to oversee and get the fundamentals right:

- Shape
- Passion
- Belief
- Fight

But there’s so much one man can do, because out on the pitch the players are producing nothing more than a Keystone classic whether home or away. Has he really become a bad manager over night? Of course not. Looking at our prima donnas you’d think they were playing to enable those relegation clauses, post haste. All is wrong and God only knows what the psychological shot in the head this will have on the club. Again, amazing how quick you can go from being ‘nearly top 4’ to utter gush. Proving that we were never nearly top 4 in the first place (blame the fans and the media on that one).

Yes we have talented players. But we have no true balance. No true leader. Key positions are weak. And talking of 'no true leader', Jol loves pointing out the fact that we have a leadership issue, but again not his fault that we spent £16M on a striker we don’t need at this current point in time. Talented players – no direction. And the same olde trend is set to be followed. We cant handle or live up to the hype.

Modern day footballers don’t tend to bust a gut for a manager on his way out. And the boards general incompetence with on the field management and football (rather than merchandising) is dragging us down. It always has. The two 5th place finishes flattered to deceive.

We sacked Graham before a semi-final. We gave Hoddle millions to spend when it would seem Levy and his pals always looked to set get rid of him in the 2004 season and did so 6 games in. Then there was Arnesen who’s advice was ignored and Levy drafted in Inspector Clouseau and his magical mystery tour bus. Nine games later he’s gone and Jol is promoted. That’s some shrewd re-structuring there, very slick. No wonder we are hot on the trails of Arsenal. Apparently that’s the reason we have a Director of Football structure at the club. We can replace a coach without upsetting the karma around WHL – and yet it seems to do the exact opposite. To further compound the fact that Levy doesn’t have a fucking clue, him and the board (including Kemsley who apparently has wanted Jol out for an age) knee-jerk after 2 league games resulting in the Ramos fiasco and this rendering our season dead.

Fact. Jol has over-achieved. The fans got a tad too excitable. The board got too Billy big-boots.

It’s summed up perfectly by this:

Levy has enjoyed popularity over the past few years because he has put up the money - but the buying policy is now under serious doubt - many people claim that Levy wanted the young English talent like Jenas and Bent - and Comolli is bringing in player after player who are not the finished article. Running a club is not just about spending money - people tipped us to break the top 4 just because we had finished 5th and then spent £40m. But look at how Allardyce and Eriksson spent their money and look at the way we spent ours.

When Levy announced we would have a DoF structure I thought who the hell is he to decide that he knows better than the boards of Man U, Liverpool, Arsenal and Chelsea where the manager was all powerful - but we stuck with it and by chance ended up with a good coach. But with this structure there is too much potential for conflict and I fear that as long as Levy buries his head in the sand (or refuses to fuck off) we will slip back to being the also rans of the Prem League once more.

Nothing more to add.

Levy bites back

MEDIA SPECULATION

Normally we only have to remind fans to ignore speculation during transfers windows, and we do that in the best interests of our playing staff and our supporters. Given the level of speculation about Martin and his position at the Club we feel it is necessary to do the same thing now.

Much of the reporting that has been carried since mid-August has been speculative and unfounded and accurately provided information has been disregarded.

Chairman, Daniel Levy stated, “There has been no board meeting, let alone any emergency board meeting, and reports that we have agreed a compensation package with Martin are wholly inaccurate - we have not even discussed the subject and there is no reason to do so. We will not allow ourselves to be side-tracked or undermined by external agendas or media hype. Our focus is on winning games.

“For the record Damien was not in Barcelona this weekend, he was watching Southampton v Barnsley!”

Who to believe? Would anyone really choose Barcelona over Southampton?

Tales of the Unexpected

So there I was, effigy in hand, in Daniel Levy’s basement.

How did I get there? Let’s just say it involved snorkels, eye-goggles and a faeces filled sewage pipeline. Was just about worth dating the rather mature lady from the Drainage and Irrigation department to get my hands on the underground layout. Only way in now that there's improved security on the ground level. The less said about swimming in shit the better. And don’t even ask about the night in the Holiday Inn with the irrigation lady. I couldn't sit down for three days after that little exploit.

The effigy remained undamaged, wrapped in air-tight plastic. Very proud of this creation. It’s the head of a Damien Comolli. It’s not the actual head of Comolli. That would be first degree murder. Its simply a very well done effigy of the Frenchman's boat race, eyes screaming ‘no’, neck ravaged, all very arty. The plan was simplicity. Enter the Levy Mansion via the basement and place the Comolli effigy on the bed of Daniel Levy. His wife will be in the gym, while Levy has an extra hour or two, probably enjoying a lucid dream where he is revered and worshipped by all. When he awakes, he sees Comolli’s detached head and understands the message after wetting the bed. The Director of Football hierarchy does not work.

Although I did not get the go-ahead from Martin Jol directly, I know in spirit, he approves of this evasive action. Unfortunately, there was no way out of the basement and into his home. My plan was fruitless. The steel door at the top of the basement stairs appeared to be triple-locked. The basement itself looked like it had hardly been used in sometime. Darkly lit, dusty and not what I expected from a millionaire chairman. I was thinking pool table, jukebox and possibly a tv. Not here.

There was a stack of old Mayfair magazines in one corner and a few hundred VHS tapes in the other. Old toys and bikes along with countless boxes made up the rest of this mundane underbelly of Levy’s crib.

Within all the tattered boxes was a crate. Very nondescript, but its wooden exterior made it stand out from all the cardboard, making me open it. It almost called out to me. Curiosity, I suppose. I was aghast with what I found. I momentarily blacked out, managing to avoid collapsing to the ground. I could taste puke in my mouth. The crate was positively rammed with Arsenal FC memorabilia. Old programmes, magazines, mugs, posters, scarfs and dozens of replica shirts ranging all the way back to the 1970’s. It was a sea of red and white. My throat ceased, I couldn’t scream out my pain. Suddenly, breathing in the fumes of shit in the sewer was a far more pleasant alternative than casting my eyes on this hell-in-a-box.

I closed the crate shut. Then kneeled down and stuck two-fingers down my throat. Several gag throw-ups later, I wiped away the tears and stood up feeling much better, all things considering.

I’ve seen some things in my life. I remember this one time, in a pub in Chingford, this bird (Emma Jenkins was her name) was there in the tightest white all-in-one body suit you’ve ever seen. Fit as anything you would wish to break your wrist over in the comfort of your own home. Maybe it was food poisoning or maybe too much drink, but she proceeded to shit herself a brown waterfall so sick that several other people started gagging with one poor soul slipping on the crap that had now covered her surrounding area. It was horrid. She stood there panic-stricken. Much like how I felt standing in Levy’s basement.

Our chairman has this darkest of secrets hidden, lost in time, in his basement.

I decided at this point it was time to leave, with effigy in hand. I could always Parcel Force it. I did however salvage the original Chirpy mascot outfit which sat in some black bins. Although I had no use for the ball-gag, handcuffs and anal-plug that Chirpy was wearing.

As I swam my escape route through the chocolate river of waste, only one thing bounced around my head. I truly am fighting the anti-cockerel. Daniel Levy is evil in its purist form.

And now I understand everything. Its crystal clear. Unlike the shit that leaked through my goggles on the way out.

Another point

Reports are now suggesting that Martin Jol ‘has’ agreed to a £4M pay-out and will leave the club once they have found a replacement. This follows on from newspaper reports that he was on his way out yesterday, which were then proceeded with denials from Martin stating the stories were ‘rubbish’.

All this after a rather unimaginative 1-1 draw against Bolton which saw the return of Zokora and TT and the exclusion of Bale (rested? why?) and Defoe. Another goal conceded from a set-piece, Jol looks less likely with each passing game to resolve the long-standing problems we have. And Levy’s Ramos-chasing and the never-ending back pages has resulted in Jol managing the team with an almost scared approach.

We’ve got Boro coming up, followed by Villa at home. Our 125th Anniversary year is one tainted by internal politics and mis-management. The only good thing I've read this past week is Berbatov committing himself to the club.

Five years into Levy’s reign, all we have is opportunism in the transfer market, buying players that look good on paper rather than buying players we actually need to improve team balance.

We may still be (near the) bottom a month from now. It’s not exactly a dream start and a third successive 5th spot is looking less likely with each week that passes. But then again, there’s over 90 points to play for.

Never say die.

Standard and Glory Glory

Back (inside) pages of todays Standards cover the Levy banning order on the London paper and have several quotes taken from the pages of the Glory Glory forum. I'll take it as a compliment that they have not quoted me. Not once. Not a single quote. Not one word. Anyways, goes to show they spend a lot of time browsing and lurking in Spurs forums - which explains why so many shit transfer stories end up in the newspapers.

Here's a collection of quotes (from the GG.co.uk thread the Standard quoted from) that they chose NOT to print:

Think both Mellor and Norman are crap journalists who use their columns for personal agendas rather than "reporting", so see no problem with this. And there are enough media outlets operating that this is hardly a restriction of the freedom of the press to cover spurs - The Last Mango in Paradise

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So many bad things happen to so many nice people. Why do people like Mellor never get a dose? The man is vile on so many levels. Self-important ponce. - the dza

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Fuck off, you twit.

Free speech in a "free society" doesn't include that private persons and companys open up their doors for you to obtain material with which to libel them in public.

If you are worried about not being able to compete with other media, then perhaps you should review your reporting style. Idiot. - DanishLineker

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I'm just surprised its only the Standard that he is banned!

I've always liked the Standard and it has given us a lot of balanced coverage over the years - however, I usually chose not to buy it on the day (Tuesdays) when Norman wrote in it. He believe he has absolutely no inside information and desite being a fan seems to have a vendetta against the club dating back to Sugar.

Or perhaps he is just indicative of the current media who are negative and cynical for the sakes of it. Believe me if Spurs won the Champions League, Norman would find something trivial to moan about instead.

Hopefully Neil Ashton, the vindictive little bastard, from the Daily mail will be the next one banned for all the crap that he has spouted in his columns and on talkSPORT in the last 2 weeks. - Mr Gafferson

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matthew norman is a cunt, always seems to me the guy has always had personal vendetta against the club (which he supports) - Billyiddo

I didn't post anything quotable in that thread. Gutted. Just gutted.

Levy bans The Evening Standard

Matthew Norman is a Spurs fan. Not a very good one. See, unlike me, I want them to achieve success, whereas Norman prefers that Tottenham struggle for all eternity because he can then make biting remarks about the club/the players/the board and people would mistake him for an Arsenal fan thus providing him a sense of wellbeing that I’m sure allows him to sleep like a baby.

I haven’t read the Standard for a while. Would appear Daniel Levy has and from the sounds of it there’s been some name calling. Rather than ignore it, our guilt-ridden chairman has decided to strike with furious vengeance and ban the paper (and thus I'm guessing the reporters) from White Hart Lane. Apparently all because of the paper persistently printing ‘negative stories’ about the club.

Hmmm. You mean like the negative stories generated by your good self and that Kemsley character in the past week or so? Those type of stories?

I can appreciate that most, if not all, of the (footballing) media are blood-sucking dieased ridden leeches that base their ‘factual’ reporting and exclusives from information given to them by ‘club insiders’ (wink, wink). They swagger with ill repute disguised as freedom of speech believing they can print anything and claim everyone has the right to read it and believe it (no matter the lack of facts).

Now I’m not suggesting that Spurs don’t deserve the 'farce' tag after last week. But its been proven countless times in the past 10 or so days that the press have mis-quoted and then mis-quoted the mis-quotes. No different to the denials coming out of WHL – but that’s not the point. The truth - to our understanding - is enough to be reported on. We dont need it smacked about and then set on fire so it makes for better reading. Ok, metaphor didn't quite work there did it. I should ask David Mellor for advice.

Levy has fallen into a trap. And has given himself yet more unwanted media coverage with his blame everyone but the people who should be blamed tactics.

If you pee yourself during PE and a class mate tells everyone at school (everyone who wasn’t present to see the rather public humiliation) about it, exaggerating the story and saying you also pooped yourself – this doesn’t mean uninviting him from your birthday party is going to change the fact that you wet your pants in front of everyone and that its believed you also did a number two.

Fact is, you did pee yourself in public. You can’t run away from that fact. If someone wants to exaggerate the story, there’s not much you can do about it either. People tend to believe the lies more than the truth. And even if you know you didnt soil your pants, if 100 kids think you did - then that becomes a truth because it has 100 believers saying it.

See that’s what you are Levy. You're that kid. You’re a bed-wetter whose gone public, pissing yourself silly in front of all your class mates because you left your PE kit at home and you’ve been forced to do gym in your Mickey Mouse Y-Fronts and when the PE teacher points at you and then at the monkey bars you colour your pants yellow. Next thing you know, they’re calling you Shitty Pissy and the girls think you smell of tramp.

Why on why give Matthew Norman the green light to go ape-shit on your sorry arse with his bland sleepy articles? I mean, fucking ‘ell, doesn’t Matthew Norman sit in the West Stand at White Hart Lane? Normally I would encourage this kind of anarchy, but the bloke is not someone I’d have standing next to me in the Park Lane end. He's the type to complain when we're winning 3-0 because a crisp packet blew onto the pitch just before Keane side-foots home.

"Looks like a packet of Monster Munch in the penalty area. Pickled onion. Completely takes away the majesty of the counter-attack. Not happy with this at all"

Can you envisage his next column? Or the back page of today’s Evening Standard?

And what’s he guilty of? A sustained set of (personal) attacks at the club and chairman? What next? Revoke his season ticket? I feel a little left out over here.

Kemsley, Donna Cullen (director of communications) and Levy - you should all get themselves a box of Pampers to share.

Ramos Denial (again)

When Juande Ramos, the Seville coach, arrived home yesterday after a tense and well-attended press conference, the calls from friends in England began. To his dismay, it was being reported that he had admitted being offered the manager’s job at Tottenham Hotspur — and the Barclays Premier League club were furious.

By the time his words were broadcast on English television later, the media machine could not be stopped, so last night Ramos contacted The Times to claim that a combination of badly chosen words and incorrect translation were to blame for reports that he had not only been offered the job, but that he had described the terms as “dizzying”. In fact, he said, he had never met anybody from Spurs (although he did not deny that someone did so on his behalf), and that there was no such offer.

According to initial reports, Ramos was supposed to have said: “They [Tottenham] made an excellent, dizzying offer, but I’m under contract and my decision is to fulfil it. There was not the slightest possibility that I would accept it because I’m under contract. It did not interest me.” Last night he apologised to Tottenham, who had posted a denial on their website that they had offered the manager’s job, held by Martin Jol, to anyone.

“I did not get offered the Spurs job at all,” Ramos said. “There never was an offer on the table from them. Spurs is a big club and anyone would be interested in the opportunity, but it is not one for me now.”

Above from The Times. If its true, it still doesn't change much in that someone did go to Spain to meet with a representative of Ramos. Whether this was Spurs thinking about the future (i.e. building a relationship just in case Jol left or failed) or whether they went there with the intentions of bringing him over ASAP - is anyone's guess. Flip a coin.

I think from body language, Levy and co are not innocent in all this, but the media have helped to really take the whole story to inane levels.

Don't worry, I'm not going soft. Levy is still in the bad books.

Levy 'interviewed'

From the official site (again, working over-drive in the PR department):

Chairman Daniel Levy reflects on a few days that has seen the Club make headlines off the pitch rather than on it...

No doubt you would agree, it is has been a tough period of time for everyone associated with the Club.

Daniel Levy: It has not been the best few days but you have got to put it into the context of six years of progress and as far as I am concerned the whole matter is behind us now. Martin and I have all the confidence that we can move this club forward again.

There has been much speculation and conflicting reports, along with a lot of uncertainty. I am sure fans would welcome clarity on many issues.

DL: I can understand that. Firstly, no-one has been offered a job either now or in the preceding nearly three years that Martin has been manager. Martin has my 100 per cent support and I’d like the fans to understand that they need to take the last few days in the context of what we think has been significant progress over the last six years.

Given that you have said that, people could think if the next two or three results do not go our way, then a change might be made.

DL: Firstly, no change would be made on the basis of two or three results and I have every confidence that no change will be required and Martin will continue to bring us success.

How did discussions with Martin go at the meeting earlier in the week?

DL: We had a very open meeting and I think it was long overdue on a number of issues that we needed to bring out into the open. Following that meeting I think we are stronger and we’re both going in the same direction. We both want success and Martin has assured me that I’ve got his 100 per cent commitment and I’ve given it to him.

There is a suggestion that Martin must now steer the team into fourth place – is this accurate?

DL: No, what Martin has said and what I have said is that we need to aim to be in the top four. I very much hope that we will be there and he believes he has got the squad, but obviously there can be no guarantees.

Many may feel that we have an under pressure and unsettled manager for the rest of the season – is this the case?

DL: I don’t think this is the case and I have just had a conversation with our captain Ledley about everything. As a result of what has happened in the last few days, both the players, Martin, the coaching staff and the board, all feel we will be stronger for it.

So we are back on track?

DL: Absolutely.

The transfer window will slam shut shortly. There might be a worry amongst fans that we won’t be able to attract the players we want to, given the events of the past few days.

DL: Let me put everyone’s mind at rest. Firstly, I don’t think this would have any bearing whatsoever should we wish to bring anyone else in. At the present time though, following my conversations with Martin, we both feel we have a squad that is capable of mounting a challenge for the top four. On the other hand, should a great opportunity arise, we would definitely consider it.

I'm going to sit on this for a bit before I decide whether its worthy of a comment.