King Op

It's not unexpected really, is it? King set to miss the start of the season (probably along with Lennon). No confirmed centre-back signing as yet to cover his absence. Rocha, is at best, cover - but we need the type of cover that might need to sit in defence for the best part of the season. Ledley, in recent years, has had far too many prolonged periods out injured. Its far too much of a big risk not to bring in a 'world class' defender. Needed, regardless for added depth. Maybe the Ginger Pele is available on a free?

The surgery on Ledders left knee takes place next week. Its routine (according to the club) so we are not meant to worry too much. Yeah, right. We are Spurs fans ffs. Worrying is what we do.

Sunderland Away

The fixture list is out. Yes, Arsenal are at home to a weak side while we get Sunderland away. Oh the joy of broken bones and the Mackem Roar. I'm certain we will be kicked all over the place, with Roy Keane desperate to display his team will be no push-overs like their last humiliating Premiership stay. Regardless, I expect nothing less than a 3-0 away victory and three points.

What I do not want to be hearing at 4:45pm:

• No, I think Sunderland is a good team and they have a good manager. Roy Keane. A warrior. They made it difficult for us.

• We didn't start too well. I think we played better second half but we left it a little late. It's disappointing

• One or two players struggled today. Sunderland are a very physical team and they made it tricky for us.

Who am I kidding? Of course we're gonna lose. Its bound to be moved so that Sky Sports can show it. The conspiracy continues.....

FAO Glory Glory

re: http://glory-glory.co.uk/forums/thread/149159.aspx

So much concern and worry about another club and what they may or may not achieve next season based on their new wage structure (or lack of) and how they turned it around to avoid relegation.

If Jol does his job, we wont have to look over our shoulders.

I saw the same reaction several months back when they signed the two Argies and some of you ladies went utterly apeshit with anxiety.

Stop looking for excuses for our possible failure.

Spooky, I presume....

No, I’m not dead, just not been online too much recently. Currently serving community service, sweeping the streets in and around White Hart Lane. Yes, I did say ‘sweeping’. When I said I wanted to clean up Tottenham, this is not what I had in mind. The Judge didn’t see the ironic side of me launching 125 water-balloons filled with a concoction made up of Virgin Cola, urine and fungus covered cheese. The balloons were meant for Levy’s traditional summer house party. The original plan was to shoot them down when the cloud of balloons sat high above his BBQ and guests. I just didn’t count for the change in weather that blew them off course. I had to shoot them down with my air rifle four miles away. Suffice to say, the nuns were not amused. The Judge called me ‘unoriginal’ and that my antics were akin to a rather tatty adventure from the pages of The Beano. Asked to explain my reasoning around the balloon-attack I stated:

“I wanted to get the point across that even when the sun appears to be shining; a storm is only moments away. This is the way I feel as a supporter of Tottenham Hotspur”

He decided my community service would be best suited in the motherland, sweeping the streets of Tottenham High Road instead of the well-to-do area Levy presides in. I’ve been banned from his borough for 2 months. So no more spying from the bushes. All I’m left with is Internet porn and reading message boards. As for the Nuns. I had to pay for their dry-cleaning and the mess from their courtyard. Very unsavoury moment. Thank God I'm not religious.

Sneijder and Huntelaar are targets. Bent is likely to go to West Ham United. And if it’s for £18M and 100k per week, good luck to him. No sign of Kaboul. He was meant to be signed an age ago. Why do we stuggle to tie up deals and prolong them longer than a bake beans and curry inspired fart. Also, every ‘available’ player is being linked to the same group of around 5 or 6 Premiership clubs. Giuly being one of them. Next please. And yes, the summer is truly here when Torres is linked.

It’s all hot air.

I may turn my attention to the Big Brother house. Might serve as a good alternative now that Levy’s mansion is out of bounds and everything is a little on the quiet side with players on their holidays. Would really like to throw frozen shit pellets at a few of them, the miserable depressive losers. The BB contestants, not the players. Well, apart from Stalteri. Deserves it for his dress sense and the fact he cost us Champions League.

The Welsh One, the Bug-Eyed Never-Smiling Man Hater - both of them need to removed from television forever. And as for that Charley, would rather have Dwight Yorke hit on me than have her going down on me in the cubicles of some nightclub. And by ‘hit’ I don’t mean the smack in the mouth/punch in the face kind, which Dwight did once achieve when I kicked his kebab out of his hands on one late mid-week evening in Manchester. I use to run with anti-meat campaigners back then. Those were dark days.

Brucie Bonus

http://football.guardian.co.uk/News_Story/0,,2099122,00.html

Birmingham City are ready to offer Mido a route out of Tottenham Hotspur, with Steve Bruce considering making an offer for the forward, who is valued at £6m. The Egyptian made only seven Premiership starts for Tottenham last season and has expressed his dissatisfaction after failing to hold down a regular place at White Hart Lane. Bruce has strengthened his interest in the 24-year-old international after missing out on Mark Viduka, with the Birmingham manager keen to add experience to a callow forward line.

--

Bite their hands off. Quickly, before Mido mistakes them for a cheeseburger and takes a lunge himself.

Good Deed

SPURS have built a house for orphans in South Africa — with money from their players’ fines.

The Premiership giants spent £100,000 on the project at Rustenburg in the north-west of the country.

Tottenham set aside stars’ fines — ranging from turning up late to more serious disciplinary offences — for five years.

And 20 per cent has been spent on the orphans, the rest going to the local community via the Tottenham Hotspur Foundation.

A spokesman said: “We established a link on a tour four years ago and we’ll be going back there this summer.

“We’re proud to be the first football club to do something like this. The players have a strong interest in the scheme.”

Just in case you wondered why we are strapped for cash on the potential Darren Bent deal.

Leeds United are back

Well bravo. Bravo Tottenham Hotspur and bravo Daniel Beelzebub Levy. It seems I have underestimated the Chairman of the Board and his minions. And it probably serves as a reminder that I should be – at all times – fully alert and focused because my assault of words on the Levy Empire appear to have birthed a retaliation. And a positive one at that.

Levy actually appears to have a set of balls.

The footballing grapevine is, at this moment, delivering some rather juicy grapes. Juice grapes of truth.

West Ham United are doing their utmost to turn themselves into the new Leeds, which makes Scott Parker the new Seth Johnson and Lee Bowyer the….still a thug.

Russian money. Filtered through Iceland – all bankrolled via a silent Russian partner. Allegedly. We have offered Darren Bent a set amount of wages, a competitive amount of money that is deserving of a player of his proven Premiership calibre and would make him one of our top earners. So, possibly £50,000 or £60,000 per week. However, the ‘ammers have gone one better. In fact, 100% better by offering him DOUBLE the amount we have.

It’s like Gollum winning the lottery and still having to bribe prostitutes to sleep with him.

Levy apparently believes this has fucked it up for everyone else WHU are doing what Chelsea did, but in wages not transfers. Seems, the chairman of the board is using restraint and won’t be held hostage over WHU’s short-term quick fix tactics which could quite comfortable jeopardise the club.

Levy cements place on board

Vigorous. That’s the word of the day. ENIC, now 66% to the good have safeguarded any potential hostile takeover (so, sorry to all the Russian billionaires out there). Good tactics again from the chairman of the board, spending a fortune to guarantee his firm grip on his empire. Levy can now out vote anyone on the board by 2-1 whereas prior (before Sugar was bought out) they only owned 54% meaning that a potential takeover would only require 46%, forcing a power struggle that Levy would prefer to best avoid. Which he has done.

Rumours of Damien Corleone purchasing a home in London, moving out of his rented property and potentially into a million pound home – cementing his and Levy’s position at the club. Obvious logic, you wouldn’t go house hunting if you believed you job was at risk.
So, my nemesis is here to stay. Good, because had he fucked off I’d sue him for making the domain name of this site redundant.

Yoof Signed

Adel Taarabt and Yuri Berchiche have both signed contracts with the club. Adel, we saw in cameos last season. Yuri is a left-back from Bilbao and highly rated.

So, add these to this lot:

Dean Parret. The new Stephen Gerrard.
Terry Dixon. The Orish Wayne Rooney.
Tomas Pekhart. The new Jan Koller.
Dag Alexander Olsen. The new Ole Gunnar Solskjaer.

Not a Owen Price, Michael Malcolm or Jonathan Blondel in sight.

Spoon full of sugar makes the Levy go down

Sir Alan Sugar has sold his stake in Premier League football club Tottenham Hotspurs for £25m ($49.8m) to sports and media group ENIC International.

ENIC already held 54% of the North London football club, and has now increased its holding to 66%.

Spurs' chairman Daniel Levy is the managing director of ENIC.

Although City rules require ENIC to make an offer for the remaining 34% of the club the group said it intended to maintain Spurs' AIM listed status.

The deal values the club at £209.5m.

The sale will go through on 2 July and will end Sir Alan's formal relationship with a club where he was chairman for a decade until 2001.

The board of ENIC said it had increased its stake in Spurs "as a sign of its long-term confidence in the club and to provide ongoing stability to the club".

This should be interesting. Surely Levy wouldn't go as far as selling the club just to get away from my barrage of truth-attacks? As for Sugar, I remember standing outside the High Court smashing up Amstrad computers. And that was only last year on the anniversary of the first court case when him and El Tel went to war way back. Though credit to him for saving the club from administration, and credit to Terry for winning us the Cup in '91 - which equally saved this club from the brink.

A Guide to Modern Day Journalism

1) Do nothing all day except watch Sky Sports News and browse Internet Message forums.

2) When discovering a link that takes you through to an interview (for example, a 'European' based football site interviewing an English based player), read it. Or get someone else to read it for you.

3) Ignore interview and its content. And wait for around 24 hours.

4) Continue to browse forums until you discover the interview has been re-posted elsewhere, but either amended or edited (or mis-translated).

5) Copy and past this bastardisation of the interview that contradicts everything the original one stated (giving the opposite impression the interviewed player gave) and write it up for the newspaper you work for.

6) Bask in the glory that this now sits on the home site of your newspaper, and will appear in tomorrows paper edition.

7) Pour yourself a glass of wine when SSN run the story.

Transfer Speculation

Once again, we have reached that time of year where there is a great deal of press speculation linking us with players from all around the world.

Sporting Director Damien Comolli noted: “It is unbelievable picking up a newspaper this time of year. I guess there will always be transfer stories concerning us as we are a club that is always looking to strengthen where possible, though many of the reports that I have read are completely wide of the mark.”

As always, we should like to remind our supporters that our official channels – website tottenhamhotspur.com and mobile service spurs(((mobile))) - will carry informed, accurate and timely information as and when it is appropriate to do so.

From: tottenhamhotspur.com - transfer speculation

Yes Damien, but what about the information that comes straight from the horses mouth? By horses mouth, I was metaphorically referring to someone who works within the club who has shared sensitive information with a Spurs fan who then posts the info on a Spurs forum.

Now, I don’t want to side with the club on this, but it’s quite obvious that nobody really has any idea of what’s going on. Not to the degree that some of the ITK characters would like you to believe.

For example, ones that talk cryptically about new signings as if they want to tell the world about it but at the same time want to avoid the story from leaking are just being creative with their attention-seeking. Others, who straddle branches and hold onto their binoculars just state the bleeding obvious. This latest piece of whorage appeared on GG.net (whorage in red):

Shoot me down all you want but my mate has some spurs ties in the boardroom...he rarely talks about spurs as he doesn't like to leak info...which i respect no matter how frustrating at time...

Right. Explain ‘ties’. Does he clean the boardroom? Does he walk past it as he makes his way to the fax machine? Does he hold a glass up to the door? Or are you saying that you know someone who knows someone who knows someone? Already, this information is looking to be 3rd or 4th hand. And if he rarely talks about Spurs, why the sudden verbal diarrhea?

But anyhow he came out to NYC today and is slaughtered and probably excited to be here on his hols....but he needed a favor so i turned the screw! Haha

If he has ties, then you just blow his cover. So enjoy the information, because he wont ever be in a position to share again.

He said that Darren Bent is more or less ours unless Spurs have a change of heart. He has verbally agreed a deal subject to a medical and transfer fee. We are about 3 mil away from what Charlton want. He is not interested in WHAM but curbs is trying to sign him and have more or less agreed to the fee Charlton want for him... Bent is on his hols and we will have a better look at him due to a injury he has picked up on his return.

So. We are signing Bent – however, if we don’t it’s because we have changed our mind. That’s some way to cover your tracks. Adding the injury thing is gold. It’s like me saying we are set to buy Petrov from Athletico Madrid and he want’s to join but we may miss out due to contractual issues.

I might get up to make a cup of tea, but I might not.

Jermain Defoe wants to stay with us and is NOT looking for a move....Chelsea were sniffing around for Chimbo indeed....but quickly turned their attention to Defoe ... Jol wants to work out a deal with Robben in a swap...

Every man and his dog know that Defoe is third inline to be King of Strikers at WHL. Linking him with a move away is something anybody can do. Yes, even people who work for the Daily Mirror can add one plus one. And stating Chelsea were sniffing around for Pascal is like anybody on any forum or any pub saying that Spurs were in for Nani – because its flipping public knowledge already.

As for Robben. This is a firm favourite of most people to talk about as Jol is Dutch and has publicly stated he likes Robben.

Mido has lost his respect at the club and they are negotiating with several teams involving swap deals including interest from a promoted club, Blackburn, and a few other teams abroad mainly in France... Mark Hughes is not convinced at Midos fitness but has not closed the door just yet on it... But respect to Mido he has been working on his fitness...

Mido has lost respect? Really? Hey, about that Hitler taking his own life in the bunker. Oh, and man lands on moon. Christ, you eat enough cheeseburgers and smoke enough cigars you lose the respect of the fans. Again, it’s no secret that Jol and everyone else have had enough of him. As for Mido working on his fitness, of course he is. It’s the summer. He has nothing to sulk about and needs to sell himself to a new club, so that he is ready for another season of gorging and generally expecting to play first team football without actually warranting it.

MGP has been initially blocked but we will test them with a higher bid...Jol looking to bring him in regardless if we buy a LW....so im assuming a few formations next year Petrov is wanted by Jol... and comolli has been in contact with him...my friend seems to think we have a really good chance of signing him. Petrov was wanted last season as well but didn't materialize. Petrov is believed to have joked behind closed doors that him and berbs could crack the top four by themselves! But Robben is still the one that Jol is dreaming about!

So, for the one position, the ITK has covered off 3 potential signings in MGP, Petrov and Robben. That’s some safety net you got there. All three are again firm favs of Internet message boards and Spurs fans in general.

We have been asked to keep informed about Nugent but again it depends on Everton as he is a massive fan of theirs....

No no no no no no no no no no no no. No. No.

I asked him about Bale and he said that we had him wrapped (as far as transfer fee and agreement with the club) up in January but couldn't announce it with only a bunch of "reliable" people knowing due to Saints push for the prem. Burley didn't want to rock team morale or distract the youngster. He is very very excited to play for spurs and has been watching spurs vids and reading about our history...Said Bale was a kid in a sweetshop when he arrived at spurs.

Facts after the fact. Its ok to say someone really wanted to join us after he’s joined us. But the fact he has joined us would suggest he wanted to join us anyway. As for being excited, he's 17 for FFS.

Villa/Sunderland have asked about Tainio...Jol is keen to keep him.

This is probably spot-on. Because Jol must be puffing away on something again to be declaring all out love for TT.

Jol is NOT after NRC!!!! Bartons name was been thrown around but some of the top top boys don't want him anywhere near our team. As for Parker...we DID show some interest but went cold due to his refusal at lowering his wages but what made me laugh was...Parker wanted a guarantee of first team footie!

None of this can be proved or disproved. The Damien statement on the website would suggest that he was referring to Parker. As for Barton, he has a clause and probably every other fan of several other clubs are suggesting they are in for him, but are unsure. Barton is a mess. If we signed him, I’ll be looking to make a mess (of the number 2 kind) and mail it to the club.

There is a french striker being discussed at the moment as one of the options....supposed to Henry Mk2...although Arsenal/pompey/boro looking at him also

French? The new Henry? Well, the fact that Arsenal have Walcott (who is the new Henry) would suggest that anyone French and good will go to the worlds largest immobile gypsy caravan (Ashburton Grove) rather than the badlands of Tottenham. Though why on earth the ‘new Henry’ would allow Pompey and Boro to be interested in him would suggest that someone is taking Football Manager stats a bit too seriously.

Last but not least....Jol couldnt be happier....said his dreams have come true and wants the job for life! Keep this a secret haha but Jol loves the banter with the spurs faithful.

Yes, because we all come to the ground to banter with a bald headed bloke who waves at us once in a while. He getting paid to wave at us and finish just outside the Champions League….again.

Even called us prickshh on one occasion for making fun of his in his own words "Hair shtyle"...

No one calls me a prick. No one. I’ve paid over 600 quid to the club and to be insulted by the manager, that’s out of order. Is this how the club repays the loyal fan. Unlike your hair Jol, I will always be here.

Berbs is somewhat of an enigma around the club....some of the spurs staff still cant make eye contact with him apparently hahahah women!

That’s my boy. How daft of the woman (and maybe the odd bloke) who work at the club thinking they can get a piece of the Bulgarian Buldge. Dream on losers.

Last but not least...Nani was a serious serious prospect and we definitely tried to sneak in under the rader...but Nanis agent alerted Utd that we were close in getting our man....Only for Man U sending a squad of people to ensure we dont get our man. Nani was about 10 hours from signing for us.

Yes, this I can give you as probably being near the mark. Probably. But Nani was never going to join us, even if we agreed anything in principal with his club. Utd (and Ronaldo and CQ) was always going to be his destination.

dont care if you shoot me, the suns out and im looking forward in your respectful thoughts haha

Shoot you? No. Politely slap you across your face in an attempt to rattle you out of your delusionary state, yes. Several times.

The only credit you get is for not suggesting all this information came from a large wooden thing with a green roof.