Kaboul Signs

"From day one he said 'I want to play for Spurs' and his personality made a big impression on Martin and myself. He has been a regular in the Auxerre first team for the past two seasons and is an excellent signing."

Manager Martin Jol added: "If you ask people in France who is seen as the hottest prospect in defence they will say Younes Kaboul. We are very happy to have him on board. It's important to have quality players in defence and with Younes, we have that."

tottenhamhotspur.com/news/articles/kaboulsigns.html

Hottest French prospect in defence apparently. Adding to the fact that we also signed Adel Taarabt early this summer on a full contract (after his loan period ended) we appear to be continuing with our collection of young 'potentials'.

Kaboul is the new Gallas. Taarabt is the new Zidane. And I'm Lord Lucan.

Will Spurs finally sign a left-winger? Will I write a love-letter proclaiming my love for Levy? Stay tuned for more.

Now now, Spooky. I did say I would be positive. So, here goes.

We've signed two defenders (one of which can play in midfield). We've also signed a midfielder and a forward. Squad depth has got stronger. Two of the signings are highly rated British players and the other two highly rated French players.

Yes, we've over-spent on one of them, but then over-spending will be the norm this summer due to the wonderful hordes of TV money available to one and all.

Let's hope that Kaboul doesn't follow the paths of the previous two highly-rated Auxerre defenders, Boumsong and Mexes.

So far, effigy burning avoided.

Spam

Received an email from the club this morning, entitled: 'One Hotspur Rewards - Let's get started!'. Except its impossible to see the content, apparently due to my browser not supporting HTML - which, is a crock of shit, because it does. The email doesn't work in either Firefox or IE. Selecting source reveals a link that suggests I use if I cant read the email.

Shock horror. The link doesn't work, displaying nothing more than a blank page.

Wonderful stuff. I'm guessing we can afford to splash out on £16M players on account of Levy cutting costs in the clubs IT department.

Whatever this email is, its probably not even worth the hassle. Probably nothing more than a message begging for us to spend our hard-earned cash in the Spurs shop.

Kit Launch Review

Friday evening (going past midnight) into Saturday was the launch of the new kit at the Spurs shop. Now, you would think this was a grade-A opportunity for me to demonstrate a boycott or perhaps chain myself to an immovable object in one of the corridors within the Walk of Fame. Sadly, having been given clearance to attend this I was held back into the shadows of the ordinary fans due to the electronic tag on my ankle.

So, I’m afraid I don’t have much in the way of excitement to report. I queued up for several hours but then rejected entering the Spurs shop on principle stating that I would not pay extortionate prices for the shirts or any other merchandise in the shop. A peaceful and articulate statement was made. No scuffles or handcuffs on this occasion.

This meant entry into the club was not permitted because I had no ticket (which gets issued with a purchase of the new home shirt). Commercial fascism at its very worst. I told the club representative that I preferred to spend my time looking for a cab on Tottenham High Road wearing a t-shirt that stated ‘WHITE POWER’ rather than endure the Walk of Shame.

Also, I’d like to go on record to say that Billy Wingrove is over-rated. The bloke is nothing but a one-trick pony and has no sense of humour. If he had any skill, he’d be able to avoid my two-footed sliding tackle and not cry about it after. Fucking lightweight.

The only thing of note was that I momentarily spoke to Martin Jol. The big man was there to kick-start proceedings, shaking the hands of the waiting fans and smiling for photos.

I asked him what he thought the future held for him. Resignation or the sack? He said something in Dutch. Not sure what, but sounded similar to what Edgar Davids once said to me when I tried to kiss him on the cheek.

Wasted night, should have spent it watching the live coverage of the Big Brother housemates sleeping on E4.

An Important Announcement

My community service has ended. But I am far from being free. It seems as part of my probation I cannot be the instigator of demonstrations against the club or chairman unless they are official and have been agreed by the police. I am still banned from the vicinity of Daniel Levy’s estate and the West Stand at WHL. I have been advised that in order to prove that I am not a menace I have to display patience and respect. My season ticket has not been revoked, but the club will be keeping an eye on me.

This obviously means the indefinite postponement of the 4th Annual Anti-Levy March. It also means that I am now limited to White Hart Lane and the Lodge (where anyone can turn up if they so wish).

Also as part of my probation I have to attend anger-management sessions once per month. And that part of my assessment will be the monitoring of this blog. It would appear I have a negative personality and that I attack for the sake of attacking and that I should aim to have a non-aggressive re-active personality.

Now before you all think I’ve been brainwashed or blackmailed (with the threat of further legal actions), do not fret. I wont be silenced. Freedom of speech etc. I have to show restraint when it comes to taking things one step further than I should. It’s also been suggested that I need to socialise more with other fans. Other fans who respect and admire the work of Levy. I’m out of touch with the majority apparently. Can’t you believe that?

I now know how Jesus Christ felt. Jesus and I are quite similar. We are both outspoken and completely committed to our beliefs and preachings. Jesus used the huddle to get his message across. I use e-mail and letters and this blog. But people doubted him, the same way they doubt me and Jesus was crucified having been betrayed by Judas. Now, although Sol Campbell didn’t press charges when I organised the surviving members of the Village People to turn up outside his home and sing, he did make a statement which was used against me at the start of all these proceedings. Christ was crucified. And in some ways, so have I. But even though he came back from the dead, he decided to move on. I however will not opt for the Biblical comparison here, preferring the Da Vinci version. Just without the prostitute and living in France.

Anyways, like I said, don’t fret. The revolution will never die. I now have to prove the pen is mightier than the sword.

Levy gets Bent

Announced to the stock exchange. We have spunked £16.5M on Darren Bent. I'm sure that Spurs will now look to sell both Mido and Defoe, and claim some of it back (from Defoe's transfer, not Mido's who we need to pay for someone to take him off us).

Is Darren Bent worth 16 million quid? Of course not. Much like Torres isn't worth £20M. Or Carrick £18M. But that's football. Overspending and overrating. Charlton have come out of this smiling. I'm still trying to tell myself that this is in no way a step towards Spurs protecting themselves over the possibility that Berbatov will leave the club next summer.

However, I will go away and think about this one. It's been suggested that I am being negative with this transfer due to my hatred of Daniel Levy.

So. I will come back to this with a clear mind and decide whether I approve.

No more va-va-voom

So a year after he should have left, Henry finally leaves. I will not dispute he was the greatest player the Premiership has ever had. Nobody, even the most hardened non-Arsenal fan can question the man’s ability. Two titles and four FA Cups. Countless accolades. Record-breaking goals tally. Yes, yes, a truly outstanding player. Maybe now he is a Barcelona player he stands a decent chance of winning the World Player of the Year trophy. And as he departs, Henry has done what all players who have been loyal servants to the one club for a prolonged period do. He has over-emphasised the fact that he is Arsenal through and through, attempting to appease the tearful fans he leaves behind.

Take his comments on the Arsenal website. He mentions ‘heart’ five times, just in case there was any doubt about his love for the club, and also subtly changes ‘Gunner for life’ to mean staying there for life to being a ‘supporter for life’. Bless him. But at least he following his dream. Maybe it’s because of his age. Maybe along with age he has ambition to play in another league with some of the most gifted players in the world and find out just how good he really is applying himself to new surroundings, tempo and footballing culture. And maybe it also had to do with Dein leaving and Wenger looking to jump ship in the near future. Possibly, what he saw looking into the future three or so years back is not what he would have wished for looking ahead from the present day. Because if it was good, if he felt it looked very good, he’d never leave Arsenal.

What's Walcott smiling about?

So, what of the Gunners? Will their ‘young guns’ be able to progress in the right direction without their number 14 talisman? Who can possibly replace the irreplaceable? Of course, before everyone begins to celebrate their ‘demise’ lets remember how in adversity many teams tend to do the opposite of what others expect (hope).

Arsenal were fine in most of their Henry-less games last year out. Including the ones against us. Fine, but not brilliant and most definitely beatable. And they’re not exactly on the verge of mid-table mediocrity. And nobody can dispute Wenger’s ability when it comes to stealing players. But there is now an abundance of questions that did not exist before. And regardless of the players present and their potential and the structure in place at the club, sometimes one incident can create a wave of discontent and uncertainty that never existed or could be imagine earlier.

When a club gets weaker they need to reclaim their strength. And doing so can be equally hard as it is sometimes easy. Time will do its usual thing and let us know how things pan out.

And sure, what a wonderful day in the history of Tottenham Hotspur, jovial with his imminent departure to La Liga. Yes, failure within the Arsenal ranks is seen as glory to the WHL faithful who are deprived of any success.

I’m being ironic here. You see, we are not allowed to laugh at our neighbours. Not permitted in any way, regardless of the occasion. Basically because they have won things and we haven’t. Except its not really laughter is it? And it’s also not a success on our part due to failure on Arsenals.

It’s just your basic football fans reaction to seeing a team you dislike become weaker after you've had to endure constant arrogance from their fans, laughing at suggestions that Henry would even consider leaving. No matter the words Henry uttered in the build up to the official club statement from Arsenal, their fans still deluded that there is no way he would walk away. "Why would Henry leave?" They asked.

See, everyone (the majority) are glad he is gone. That’s Man Utd fans and Chelsea fans and Liverpool fans and everyone else. Yes, yes, the league is a lesser place without him in it. As good as Henry was, eight years of him is enough. It was like Arsenal had an extra three players in their team when he played. And as football is made up of cycles of success, this may just be the end of Arsenals. Dramatics aside, I’m not suggesting the gypsies are about to be deported. Just that their caravans might get clamped.

Please laugh at their despondency, but rather than stand there hoping they will struggle, how about Martin Jol and Daniel Levy look towards improving all the little areas that make us a 5th placed club and not a 4th placed club. At this current moment in time, it’s us with the talisman.

So, goodbye to the number 14. Goodbye to running from one end of the pitch to the other to incite the opposition fans but still have the FA ignore the whole incident. Goodbye to the arrogant self-obsessed celebrations and moody facial expressions. Goodbye and good luck.

And as for the fans he leaves behind. As for all your posturing and gesturing that 'all is well' in Little France don’t expect us not to feel a just a tad content with what’s happened. So.…Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone, prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone, silence the pianos and with muffled drum, bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Then dance around the bastards singing 'We are Tottenham, we are Tottenham, super Tottenham, from the lane’.

Because we can.

The Corner-Pin Incident

It would seem that Spurs fans are not the only people who read my blog. There I was, hiding, but with a full view of the pub waiting for loyal soldiers to appear at the meeting place so I can assign individual tasks and missions in preparation for the Anti-Levy Demonstration and March. I was initially, pleasantly shocked to see three barrel chested men standing outside the Corner Pin just before 5am. That would equal the best ever turn out to one of these meets since its birth back in 2004.

It wasn’t until I approached them that I noticed the distinct flavour of claret and blue in the men’s clothing. It was that and the overly East End accents that made me suspect that these boys were definitely lacking Hertfordshire blood. The one with the Bobby Moore tattoo asked if I was here for the meeting with Spooky. Quick thinking on my part helped me avoid a fracas.

“Nah me old China, just ‘aving a butchers waiting on this merchant banker Spooky, innit. It’s gonna go Pete Tong when he turns up, the bleeding James Blunt. Anyone up for a Ruby, knees up mother brown?”

They didn't have a clue I was Spooky and instantly thought I was one of them. Turns out this welcoming party were gonna do 'Spooky' over because of some old anti-West Ham blog entries that didn't approve of.

Thankfully, my method acting improvised masterclass got me out of a potentially lethal scenario. We ‘bonded’, waited for another half an hour and decided that 'Spooky' wasn’t going to show up. So we then decided to make sure everyone knew that the West Ham boys had visited deep in Tottenham territory. Utterly smashed and wrecked a bin near the Spurs shop. I felt dirty being involved, I had no choice but to pretend I was born and breed in the Chicken Run. We left pretty sharpish and then spent the next eight hours in a pub on Green Street celebrating another victory over the Yids. All a bit of a naughty day. I managed to escape when two of them headed off to have tattoos done to mark the occasion.

Ok, so the Corner Pin meet-up was a complete blow out. No one appears to have the heart in being involved in this demo against Levy. So, it would appear that dreams of a million man march are dusted, with me, singular, being the one soul on Gods green earth with the warrior backbone to go up against the Lilywhite Playboy, Daniel Levy.

I’ll include a full report of the march once it happens.

Spurs back in for 'The Sock'

We are apparently keeping tabs on the Brazilian flair-induced central midfielder Diego Ribas da Cunha aka The Sock. The player we 'almost' signed back in 2003 when Pleat made several trips to South America but failed to claim the players signature, sadly due to several possible reasons. No work permit, no Sock was one of the popular 'excuses of failure'. There were also apparently a number of issues relating to the players rights (the dad part-owned him or something equally silly). Though the main reason was down to a sudden change of heart by the chairman of Santos, where Diego played at the time. All a bit of a mess.

The Sock

Anyways thats all history now and he ended up at Porto (not a great experience) but has since moved to Germany, playing for Werder Bremen. He's had an impressive season in the Bundesliga (36 games, 14 goals) and his goal at the new Wembley against England appears to have re-ignited our interest. Seems the buzz is that Levy and Damien Comolli (as suggested by various sources) want a true 'Tottenhamesque' style player to have a genuine spark from midfield to attack in the creative stakes.

Diego (Creative Midfield) - Berbatov (Creative Forward)

Does look good on a blog, doesn't it? Levy and Comolli are thinking 'Osvaldo Ardiles' (same type of height, but more tanned and Brazilian), and with the success of another short player in his debut season in England (Carlos Tevez) they feel that a South American in the Premiership may not be the daunting challenge many feared it can be.

I think this is the first thing Levy has done that I find myself happy with, excluding giving Block 34 a female steward.

So, the source of this information? Well its an agency, partly based out in Germany, who deal with footballers. And much like any line of business, people talk and people gossip. There was initial interest from an unnamed Spanish club who then cooled their advances. This may have played a part with our rekindled interest, with Comolli initially keeping an eye on things. Spurs then approached Bremen (all above board) but were knocked back. Diego's agent is playing the textbook 'One club is interested, let me spread the word' tactic. This suggests that they maybe after a more improved contract with the Germans. However Diego is apparently keen to listen to what we have to say (though expect other clubs to also show interest - and Diego's agent to 'whore' the little Brazilian magician to Italy and Spain). But our strong point in all this is routed back in the year 2003 with the way Diego was treated (very very well) by Pleat and the club when we looked to bring him to London first time round. Diego hasn't forgotten this.

Maybe Levy and Comolli should sub-contract Pleat and outsource this particular potential transfer to someone who knows Diego and his family (if be it for a short term a few years back).

In all seriousness, no idea on the fee being touted, but probably relatively cheap in todays market (around £13M).

First hurdle is getting past Bremen. Might not be too much of an issue, as rumours of a clause in Diego's contract might make things interesting over the next month or so.

And why should I believe any of this? This particular 'source' came good on three previous transfers - in the past 2 years - before they happened (before they hit the press or the forums). Not saying Spurs deals, but they involved three prominent high profile players. The information wasn't shared on those occasions, at least not publicly. And all three signings happened, as stated by this person.

Thought this one was too good to pass up and not blog it. Hope its not jinxed now.

Darren Bent Whorage

More 'ITK' gossip from a 'Spurs Insider'. This one from season ticket holder WestStandJolly. Claims to know someone who knows Bent. Much like the previous piece of whorage posted in this blog. Wonderful stuff.

Spoke to a contact who has had (lets say) contact, with Bent in recent weeks. Darren didn't say much about WHU other than they might not be the right club for him. That and all the Sheff Utd hearing and potential outcome, doesn't want to play for a club that might start the season with -10 points. Said they offered him a shedload.

A typical Spurs 'ITK'

Wants to play for Spurs who are more than likely one of a number of possible destinations for him. Charlton want their moneys worth but will probably get more desperate for an injection of cash + players closer to the summers end. Gardner being the make-weight, with one or two others as potential (Routledge). Told in confidence that he will be playing in the Prem next season, and I believe him. If the deal happens, should be announced in 2 or so weeks time.

Levy is also going all out to bring in a left-winger, a centre-back and another midfielder (Levy apparently quoted as stating he wants the club to sign a player of Gascoignes or Ginolas ilk - a definitive classic Spurs player. Apparently, Jol has said 'If only there was a Dave Mackay out there for us'. Holland, Spain, France and Brazil are the target countries that Comolli has been working on with our scouting network.

Hope to have more info soon.

Yep, it's like golddust. Without these people, what would we possibly do in the time between the club genuinely speaks to a player and signs him and then announces it to the fans.

Before any of you idiots throw the 'DONT FEED THE ITK'S' comment in my face, don't bother. That comment in a previous blog was ironic. How can I possibly not feed the little blighters when they are akin to a Lazarus Pit, forever giving life to all that should be dead.

Between their constant sewage of information and the need for me to break into the Big Brother house to head-butt Charley, I have my entertainment sewn up till my community service ends and I can resource more time to better spent activities.

The 4th Annual Anti-Levy March

Now, you know me. I'm no trouble maker. And with my current community service duties hanging over my head, I can not risk giving the authorities the opportunity to punish me further. So the location and time of this yearly event will remain a secret (so no info online).

Hopefully it will not be a repeat of last years disaster when the information on Levy's whereabouts (we always march in the vicinity of where Daniel is enjoying a leisurely stroll) resulted with us marching through the aisles of his local Waitrose where there was an unfortunate accident with a shelf of tinned food and a seventy-four year old lady.

Levy wasn't even there at that time, having left 10 minutes earlier. Took security and the St Johns Ambulance crew 40 minutes to get that old lady out from underneath the cans of baked beans. The mayhem, the confusion......was like being in Nam.

As per usual, anyone who wants to be part of this mass rally and demonstration, be at the Corner Pin pub on Friday morning 5am. You wont see me, but I'll see you. If you're kosher, you'll get the details of this years march.

For anyone confused about this being in the off-season, thats the point. Levy can not be allowed to gallivant his way through the summer months. We have to disturb his tranquility. And these surprise demos tend to do the trick. Help's raise the profile of The Association of Real Spurs Enforcers Neutralising Anarchist Levy.

As per usual, food and drink is provided, and the traditional pub crawl of the High Road will proceed the days events.

So, fortune favours the brave. See you at the Corner Pin.

Plucked from a Spurs forum

Posted on COYS by HH:

OK for all you doubters.

Darren Bent is Spurs

From the man himself, just got the phone 2 minutes ago.

Don't expect an announcement from the club until July 1st.

The fee will not be announced but it is nowhere near what we offered Charlton for him last January.

BTW there is a real chance of further sanctions against West Ham.

All this from one phone call. The comment about sanctions against WH must be a hint that Bent decided against them because of the possibility of relegation - though, doubtful anyone has the bollocks to dish out the punishment they should have got months back when the Prem League choked and bottled it.

In addition, HH has also stated that 2 players will leave Spurs to join Charlton - one on loan and one on a permanent contract. Routledge is surely one of them. He also had this to say:

There are more but I will not have anymore real information till at least next monday.

But it will be the details of the last of the 4 major signings we are after this season.

Bale, Kaboul, Bent, and ? (it was Nani). I will leave you all to speculate, but I will tell you now it ain't an out and out LW.

Not an out and out left winger. Because left wingers are as rare as rocking horse shit. So, I'm meant to believe that Darren Bent called up HH and told him he's joining Spurs but not officially until July 1st when we announce it....while the chief executive of Charlton states:

"We look forward to Darren starting with us in the Championship next season, which is a massive boost to our chance of returning to the Premier League."

We set a valuation for Darren and West Ham were the only club prepared to meet that valuation"

Yes. Charlton will not sell him unless a club matches their valuation. Something only the desperate 'ammers have done. So how is offering less money and a couple of players going to turn Charlton's head?

If anything Man Utd will bid for him, needing a striker now that Saha is injured. Again.

So, we are after a 4th player? No shit Sherlock, who would have guessed, considering we have needed a left-winger for years now.

Oh, and nice one on the 'July 1st' announcement. Thats a convenient 2 and a bit weeks that HH can enjoy ITK status before he gets found out for being a drunk deluded charlatan and IP banned. The worship of false Gods is frowned upon. Ask Moses and that mob that followed him around. It was their fault they got lost for a few decades, preferring to listen to the mis-guided few instead of Charlton Heston.

Well, listen to Spooky. There are very few very limited variables when it comes to predicting who will sign for who. Throw enough shit at the wall and some of it will stick. Try throwing diarrhea and it will stick all over you.

DONT FEED THE ITK'S.

re: fixture list for 2008

5th opening day away game in 6 years. I want....no I demand for the Premier League to release the source code from the software they use to generate a full seasons worth of games. I'm willing to beat they ignore this plea, in the full knowledge that I know they know that I know that the code contains certain strings of commands that contain formulas allowing for comfortable home games for Arsenal and persistent 'tricky' away games for Spurs. David Dein's ghost continues to haunt us.

This battle is not worth the hassle. It's like fighting fire with a daffodil.