Can't laugh at Chelsea anymore

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In defence of SI

Football Manager 2008. If you believe the disgruntled gamers it has Syphilis. Or a common cold. Or a bug or something. Currently, the SI Forum is like that final hellmouth engulfing Sunnydale, which means that Miles Jacobson will have to stick on a blonde wig and change his name to Buffy. The 'big evil' has thrown its toys out of the pram and demanding a patch 'or else'. Time to stake that motherf*cker in the heart.

Dear Disgruntled FM gamer,

Football Manager 2008 is a game. SI will fix everything. The fact is, 10 years or so of this footballing uber-spreadsheet has resulted in some of the most undeserving impatient ungrateful gamers (a minority thankfully) of any game I know of. Football Manager is not Theme Park. It’s a football game and therefore is based on a massive database of stats and processing and formulas. It will never be a 99.99% nailed on replica of real football – and some of you have quite obviously forgotten this (or choose to think it is actually possible to get 99.99% and how dare SI fail to do so). Its a simulation at best. And it tries it's damned hardest to be that. Be grateful they still make it. In a world where the emphasis is on big colourful box office style games, it's a testament to SI that the game still shifts the amount of units it does.

You know why SI don’t have any competition? Because there simply isn't a development team out there good enough or determined enough to put out what is quite obviously a monster of a genre to develop and manage and update.

I'm not saying that the game doesn't have bugs. It quite obviously does and I'm not dismissing the fact that just because I don't experience any problems playing as a Prem club, that others in the lower leagues have their playability affected by issues that need to be fixed.

Yes. It’s frustrating. But the anal obsessive detail some people complain at is just plain silly and at times almost deranged. It’s almost like there’s a group who actively go searching for problems with the games engine and can’t play it because of minor issues that do not have a detrimental effect on the game. Others do however have a right to be frustrated because the issues they find through gameplay DOES have a detrimental effect. But the manner some of you people express your complaints is pretty immature.

If SI had not released the game when they did and waited to complete further testing, you would not have had it when you got it - so waiting another week or three for a patch to make it 'playable' (the very definition of that is altogether another subject) makes no difference. That’s just my opinion and I know others will claim ‘we wouldn’t be upset if we paid £30 for the game and didn’t need a patch’. But let’s not be naïve about it. This happens all the time. Even with operating systems like Windows. Other games have massive flaws in them or simply don’t give the hours of gameplay FM can – so putting up with these type of industry quirks isn’t really a big deal. It's a fact of life. And one that most have to sadly deal with.

The irony here is that some people have choosen to forget this happened with FM2007 too but the hardcore who complained prefer to look back and suggest that it was less 'buggy', probably because they were appeased with SI's patches that followed.

Call of Duty. 5 hours gameplay. Probably didn’t need a patch on release. But that’s a shooter. FM is a completely different type of creature. As for FM gameplay? 100 hours? 1000 hours? Which is probably the reason there is such a low threshold of tolerance for ‘bugs’. But every incarnation has struggled with them – so doesn’t that tell you something? Even with such an experienced and hard working team, it’s sill a brutal experience for them to build this game. And the very nature of tweaking and adjusting means one of the consequences is that it always needs to be tweaked. FM is like a demanding girlfriend and finding her g-spot takes a little time.

It’s a joke? It’s unacceptable? You want your money back? You want to try the competition? Feel free to do just that. You'll be back soon enough and you know it.

Few developers care about their product as much as SI do - and if you look at the competition and the fact that their games are fundamentally shallow and lack depth and are just cosmetic or full of gimmicks - how on earth can you sit there and slag them off like they don’t give a shit? Have they stolen candy from a baby? Defecated through your letter-box?

Look at Championship Manager. Unbalanced game which is let down by the very fact it falls several leagues behind FM's gameplay and depth. That's the competition.

So grow the fuck up and lose the fundamentalist attitude you have towards the game.

It's a privilege not a right.

Yours 'top of the league with Spurs',

Spooky

Round-up

Lacking the time to be all satirical and ‘in character’ so you’ll have to make do with a rather bland overview of the last 5 days or so until I’m back in front of a pc, drenched in inspiration and high on drugs.

Ramos has introduced an appraisal system for players and staff in order to gage their ambitions. I can see it now.

RAMOS: So, what are you ambitions?
JENAS: To learn to control the ball with my first touch.
RAMOS: That’s never going to happen.
JENAS: I scored twice against Wigan.
RAMOS: Of course you did, you’re our very own Zizou. Here’s a lollypop.
JENAS: Yeah! A lollypop! I can do it too with Kandoo!

In addition, a new diet regime is also being implemented, so expect a pouty size zero Robinson sporting a rather lush looking goalkeeper jersey soon, drinking champers and snorting coke between goal-kicks. Also, let’s take a moment to laugh out loud at the Spanish press who appear to have out-done their English counterparts. For some rather deranged reason they seem to think that Spurs have turned into Chelsea and have ‘300 Million Euros’ to spunk on players.

The following have all been recently linked:

Casillas - £25m
Villa - £30m
Xavi - £15m
Alves - £20m
Kanoute - £15m
Baptista - £10m

Add Diego Capel (Sevilla winger) to the long list of targets and endless money pit that Levy apparently has. Love the fact that all players mentioned are attackers/forwards. Even Alves is better known for his attacking prowess than his defensive duties. All very likely, no? It’s tiresome. But then this is modern day journalism. And with the Jan transfer window not too far off, its only natural the agents and tabloids go into overdrive.

And if that’s not enough, Comolli is allegedly looking at Arsenal reserve players as potential targets. It’s Christ-maaaaaaaaaaas! Let’s balance the team out with rejects from the pikey side of town. That should elevate morale with the fans. And yes, the irony that their reserves are better than our first team isn’t lost on me. It's a cruel and bitter life.

Another tale from the terraces suggests that Taarabt (depending on who tells you) wants to join Arsenal/Wenger wants to sign him. Hands up if you think he’d be in the first team squad all the time if he was a gooner or at Old Trafford? Hopefully he will impress the Ramos in training and finally get a shot at the first team proper rather than a cameo every few months. The kid has genuine world class potential. And no, I’m not talking about the Huddlestonesque kind (though if the Hudd lost some weight he just might make it). Taarabt has to be developed, something I’m much more confident will happen with the new regime than any of the past efforts. And part of that development is playing in the first team from a young age. Ask Fergie and Wenger about the success rate with taking this particular type of plunge.

Elsewhere, Spurs finally get planning permission for their new training ground, which will apparently attract world class players. Why? Will there be a poker room and pole-dancing stage with accompanying escort girls? We still await on the big talking point as to whether we are planning on re-developing WHL or moving (potentially) to a site in Enfield. As discussed before, one possible outcome is to ground share at West Ham United. Ground sharing with them lot is like asking Frank if it’s okay to share Pat Butcher in a ménage a trios. What on God’s green earth would possess you to do something so vile and disgusting?

And talking of them lot, WHU away on Sunday. A repeat of last year, thank you very much.

Elsewhere, various rumours about Ledley King doing the rounds again. One suggesting he had a setback weeks back and won’t be seen for another month or two. The other rumour, suggests he has simply been rested for 3 months as precaution (in addition to the summer months) and will be back soon. Both forum efforts these ones. Pinch of salt as per usual. Don’t cry just yet, wait for the official site to update you with the bad news.

England are back in the hunt for qualification when it seemed the dream was over. I don’t usually speak about the National side. One under-achieving team is enough to be depressed about. If we win by a few goals we finish top of the group. Knighthood back on for McClaren then. Love his thank-you speech highlighting Israel’s pride that helped ensure a shock 2-1 win. If our players had some pride we wouldn’t be relying on Russia to fuck up. Still, plenty of time for us to do just that with Croatia on Wednesday. Dear Mr McClaren, now there’s a thought…

We've had to wait 2 months for this

Spurs 4 Wigan 0

Wigan join Derby as one of the worst Prem team I've seen for a number of years. Utterly woeful, incapable of holding onto the ball or passing it to their own players. Instead, ace at giving the ball back to us and being generally shit, more so than us. We did enough to win the Biggest Game in our History™ comfortably, and we could easily have added 3 or more to the scoreline with the woodwork rescuing Wigan from a complete rout. The win was vital. And to achieve it with a little bit of swagger, just enough to brush a doomed team aside, gives the impression that improvement is gradually occuring. Conceding against this lot would have made me suicidal. Don't think Robinson had one shot to save. And Ramos has taken note of the fact that protecting a lead isn't the way to go - adding more goals to the tally allows for us hold onto the initiative and possession rather than sit back and let the opposing team attack. It was all a bit too easy.

And yes, the irony that our two Prem wins this season have come against the two worst teams is isn't lost on even the most fickle of Spurs fans.

Jenas (aka The Destroyer of Shit Teams™) was at his industrious best (gosh) and should have scored a hat trick, but rather than use the inside of his foot to place the ball he decided to use the outside. Gift wrapped opp, considering the Wigan defence parted like the Red Sea for him, except Moses would never have fallen on his face in the midst of such a dramatic moment. Jenas, once more a Biblical disappointment when it was easier to score. Could have done with Moses cane for assured balance as he tried to place the ball. Though kudos for the two goals he did get. And his general getting-forwardness. One day, he'll perform like this against a proper side.

Pro-Jenas comment, for larfs and larks

Great to see that our players are taking shots from outside the area. Lennon included, who scored a fine goal. Under Jol, we always seemed to favour walking it into the penatly area and then attempting to bury it. Nothing wrong with having a crack. Just ask deflection king, Frank Lampard.

And what about The Sulk? Well, Berbatov was - it has to be said - sublime. Involved in three of the four goals (setting up two) and even managed to throw in a smile. In fact, Berbatov played very well, an anchor between midfield and attack. Playmaker, even. Another nice touch by Ramos. Works better than Keane being the anchor as he ends up playing far too deep to be effective enough. Sure, the Bulgarian appeared to be a little sulky and did his usual 'moan at everyone' routinue (as has been the case all season) but his touches and lay-offs and his general presence was telling and inspired.

A rampant Spurs side of last year or the year before would have scored 7 with ease. I think today, anything less than 3-0 would have been a disappointment.

Wigan would win the ball and then pass it back to us, and some of their defending consisted of backing away from our players and hoping nothing would come from our play. Truly miserable stuff. They brought down a hundred or fans, and I applaud them for making the effort, the poor bastards have little chance of survival on this evidence. And with Marcus 'Relegated with six clubs' Bent in their side, they really don't have the blessing of the footballing Gods. Probably what Whelan deserves, mind. Back to the Championship for you mate.

Anyway, let's get some perspective. It was only Wigan. International break up next followed by West Ham United away. Probably the first big test for Ramos.

Dear Mr Levy: Another day, another lie

Dear Mr Levy,

It’s been quite some time since my last communication to you. I’m not even sure where to begin. Do we talk about the handling of the Jol sacking? The Ramos appointment? Kemsley’s departure? Director of football failure? Talk-over rumours? The re-building of WHL or a potential new stadium? Ground sharing with West Ham United? Berbatov? Woeful Premiership form? At the end of last season I actually believed that I would begin to struggle with finding complaints due to what looked like some form of progression yet this term you have supplied me with so much material I’m considering t-shirts, effigy key-rings and business cards. I’m even looking at a potential future podcast.

What the fuck is happening over there Daniel? Pull yourself together man before the next judge decides that a court injuncture against me following you around isn’t a good idea because having me rummaging through your bins will keep you on your toes. I mean, fucking hell, do you have any idea how easy it is for me to pick holes in your regime? Emperor Levy? Nero would be more apt. You’ll probably blame the Park Lane for starting the fire while you play your violin from your treasured West Stand. I’m sure Berbatov will be standing by you, doing a little jig as all around the fires burn. Taxi to Manchester!

As for the 2-0 win away in Israel. Not much to say other than, it was very average. Even against 10 men. All a bit too uninspiring. Berbatov scored but struggled initially with the memory of what he needed to do with his face on such rare occasions.

Yes, that's it, flex those facial muscles, yep, almost there...almost there.....and....that’s it! A smile! Incredible movement from Berbatov! I've never seen anything like it!

Midfield was more sideways than forwards. And considering the second half was practically a training session, its a little concerning that we couldn't add more goals. But no reason for a sudden surge of ideas and imagination in the creative department. It's still the same old players out there. Including Jenas. The immovable object. Dave Mackay would run through brick walls for Tottenham. Jenas would apologetically whisper that he has lost the keys for the door, then sleep on a park bench for the night. He usually destroys weak teams because that's when he's in his element. Play Jenas against a under-15 team and I'll tell you this now, he would score a hat-trick, nailed on. His free kicks will still be shit though.

At least KPB is playing more often. Seems Ramos rates him an awful lot more than Jol ever did. Not surprising though considering Sevilla were also after him until the Spanish team pulled out and Comolli signed him for Jol. Well, actually no he didn't. He signed him for Ramos. Unofficially his first signing for Spurs, no?

Wasn't impressed with Berbatov in the 2-0 win, even with the goal scored. Far too much complaining and moaning and arm swinging and rolling of the eyes - again a case of 'business as usual' for our only world class player although it feels more like 'closed for the holidays'. In fact, apart from Steed and Keane, the whole team was still struggling to come to terms with reclaiming even an ounce of confidence and swagger. All a bit too fragmented and lackluster. As for Bent, at this rate, we'll get £2M for him from West Ham. Looks like we've been stitched up there good and proper. And going back to the Bulgarian again, he still has the look and movement of a man with constipation. His only performance of quality this season from him was up at Old Trafford. Funny that.

The BBC approve of anti-Jenas propaganda. Good for them.

Anyway, this is not going to be one of my full blown three page letters. I’m going to wait until after the Wigan game before I put pen to paper and rape and pillage my way through a thesaurus as I throw damning incitements and sardonic words your way. This is just a mini-letter. A teaser. And I’m going to pick out a random subject matter and state my opinion on it because I need to blow off some steam before Sunday's 'The Biggest Game in our History™' clash with Wigan. Lets talk about, I don’t know….maybe, I suppose, we should go with……something random......how about...Berbatov. Sound good to you?

I see you have allowed The Sulk to post his statement via the official site, renouncing all the rumours about his future. As see-through as tracing paper IMO. It’s all just a rather obvious ploy to quiet down the mass hysteria of the rumours, isn’t it? Bit like that time Kemsley marched off to Spain to meet Ramos and not offer him a dizzying deal. Bit like that time, isn’t it? Remember? Spain? The meeting with Ramos? Kemsley, with the talking and the offering? No? You don't remember? Amazing. You posted a statement claiming it wasn't true. Something about the newspapers being wankers.

Ok, foreplay over. Le'ts just cut to the chase. Here’s the real timeline of events that are masked behind your dark tapestry of untruthness:

Man Utd inquire about Berbatov
Spurs reject bid
Berbatov is unhappy with not being allowed to leave
Berbatov sulks during pre-season games
Spurs struggle with internal politics which results in a woeful start to the season
Berbatov and Jol do not get along
Berbatov doesn’t appear to be pulling his weight
Berbatov sulks
Berbatov and Jol's miserable double-act takes centre stage at Newcastle defeat
Newspapers have a field day with Spurs lack of form and Berbatov being blatantly unhappy
Comolli meets the player and his agent for 'showdown talks'
Spurs release a public statement on the official site that states Berbatov isn’t leaving – but clearly states ‘January’ and doesn’t mention whether the player will remain after the summer
His dad claims his son wants out
His brother claims he wants out
Berbatov releases a public denial, via the Spurs site and claims everything is a lie and that he is remaining at the club and that he loves the club
This statement appeases the Spurs faithful
The tabloids are slammed as scum by the fans for bullshitting
Comolli and Levy laugh as their masterpiece falls into place
Berbatov no longer has the uncertainty the fans were experiencing to worry about, so will not get abuse from the stands for wanting to leave
Fans will sing and chant his name
Fans believe everything he said, because ‘surely, he would never lie about something like this’
Privately the club have told Berbatov he can leave when an acceptable bid is made
Spurs know that if the player ‘publicly’ states he ‘loves the club’ and doesn’t want to leave, then other clubs wont make cheeky bids undermining his true value in the transfer marker
If the player publicly ‘wanted out’ then clubs would not make bids that match the value of the player
Berbatov has the press and fans off his back and his wish set to come true
His agent gets ready for the January/End of season transfer window
Levy rubs his hands at the thought of £20M
Spurs sell Berbatov for his true value and take the heat for selling the player
The penny drops for the 'faithful'
Spurs fans are mugged off

Sound about right, Daniel? How about you reply to me on this one? If I’m wrong I will change the name of this site to ‘I HEART LEVY’ and post a poem per day about my undying love for you and your shiny bald head. And in addition, I’ll move from the Park Lane End to the West Stand and eat bagels at half-time. I’ll even visit the Spurs Shop. No, not with my ‘BOYCOTT FASCIST MERCHANDISE – DON’T SUPPORT LEVY’S PERSONAL TRUST FUND’ sign. I’ll be armed simply with my wallet and will max out my American Express Paupers card purchasing the Spurs home shirt along with posters and scarf’s. You know that bloke with the megaphone that stands on Bill Nicholson Way preaching about Jesus Christ? I’ll have words and borrow the megaphone and spend pre-match telling the home faithful that you are the true messiah and not that pansy Hoddle. As for Jesus, always thought his life was slightly exaggerated in print. I mean, we all think Bogart said ‘Play it again Sam’ in Casablanca and yet he never did. So if we can’t remember something from 1942 which has been repeated about ten billion times, how the fuck is anyone certain about some words written down by a bunch of dudes a couple thousand years ago? Jesus was either a hippie or a student and the people that wrote the bible were probably just larking about trying to make a fast dollar. Anyway, this isn’t relevant, stop forcing me to go off topic!

It’s in your hands Daniel. I want a reply. I don’t expect you or Comolli to post a statement on the official Spurs site denouncing this letter. That would be a nice touch though. But if you want to prove your worth and your word, then take your balls out and stick them in my mouth. There’s no risk, is there? I mean, worst case scenario is I’m proved right and I bite them off. If I’m wrong and the statements the club and player have made are not propaganda, then I will have to suck them. And unlike Kyle, I won’t be running off in the opposite direction.

See, you and me Daniel, we’re not that different. Yeah sure, you’re rich. You picked up a cool million in ‘wages’ in the last financial year and live in a big house. Four bedrooms, possibly five. And your fitted kitchen is lush by the way. And that coffee machine, fuck me, wow. Where did you get that? Makes a mean cup indeed. I don’t have a mansion, I live in a flat. Two bedrooms. Though I use one of them as a living room. And my kitchen is quite smile, though I got a decent Brita kettle with those fitted filters. But ignoring minor differences in material possessions, we are not that different. We are both passionate about our beliefs. Except your beliefs are wrong. Time you stood up Levy, shaved those grapes between your legs and showed them to the world.

So, am I wrong Daniel? Am I? Is Berbatov really going to stay beyond January and the summer? I doubt it. And you know it. Its damage control, plain and simple. Much like the support for Jol in another one of the official statements on the site - and a month later he was gone.

Another day, another lie. And plenty of dollars on their way to the clubs bank account. I had a momentary lapse in concentration, believing and trusting the club and player over this, but I have seen the light. And that light has failed to blind me.

Yours 'wont be fooled for a second',

Spooky

Public Apology

I should know better (though part of me is still screaming that something ain't quite right). Berbatov has finally spoken out about all the rumours, and isn't best pleased that lies are being published about him wanting to leave Spurs. I wonder if the press will cover this story in comparison to the other ones suggesting he hates being at the club. Ironic that yesterday evening I was reading about Ramos suggesting he couldn't keep the player at the club if he didn't want to stay.

Berbs:

"I don't like to speak too much and don't like to be in the spotlight or the papers," said the striker. "I just want to play football.

"There has been a lot of stuff written about me leaving. I haven't said anything until now, but they are now involving my family and I cannot allow that. When somebody is writing lies about my family I must get involved.

"I am my own man, when I want to speak I will and I will tell you the truth no matter how hard it is. That is why I am talking now.

"I want to let everyone know that I am a Tottenham Hotspur player, I love the club and everyone at the club. I don't always smile so much, but that does not make me a bad person.

"I don't smile because we are near the bottom of the table and have not been playing well - I have not been playing well either.

"The worst thing is when someone starts writing lies and when people see that they start to believe it. That really is the worst thing.

"I just want to say that I am here, I am happy here and I will help the club in any way I can," he added, before stating his gratitude for the ongoing support the fans have given him since his arrival from Bayer Leverkusen in the summer of 2006.

"The fans love the club and they have been behind me ever since my first game. I appreciate them the most and I want to tell them that I am not going anywhere.

"I have a contract and I will give my best, for now it is not going so well for me because all the writing in the papers has been messing with my head and I lost my concentration.

"I don't want to see my name in the papers anymore - I just want to play football and enjoy myself. When I see things in the paper with somebody telling lies about my father, how can I be calm? I am disappointed and I don't understand how somebody can write something like that - it is a lie.

"Bringing my family into it is the biggest sin."

That's pretty conclusive, no? Would someone truly lie about his feelings so publicly? Well, ok, not a good question considering a certain Judas did something very similar a number of years ago. But this seems geninue, and I feel a tad guilty now for believing everything else about the player just because he sulks. Not that I'm forgiving him for his lack of effort and other complaints I have about his form, but I suppose you could argue that his lack of form has more to do with the fact that his team mates are shit and we have high hopes of him to carry everyone on his back due to being some what 'world class'.

I think it's time for his feet to do the talking, and hopefully todays UEFA Cup match and Sundays clash against wonderful Wigan will play a big part in re-building confidence for Berbatov, the team and the fans.

This story is covered by most sports sites (who took the quotes from the Official Spurs site), though nice to see the following in todays The Sun:

"Dimitar Berbatov's brother says the Bulgarian striker has "outgrown" Tottenham and wants to join Manchester United "

"Dimitar Berbatov's brother says the Spurs striker gets "grumpy" when he is not the "centre of attention and main man "

There's an interview with his brother, but no quotes from Berbs, more an opinion from his bro - however, would he lie about family in this manner, blatantly saying that Berbatov wants to leave? See how easy it is to get confused when people are constantly contridicting statements?

I feel dirty that I allowed my frustrations to blind me to simple logic. Just because a newspaper reports something doesn't mean its true. Even and interview with Berbs bro.

And if Berbatov does have personal issues, unrelated to football, these are his own and not for us to judge him. Won't stop the gossip though. And we all know that even when certain people in football say something, it doesn't mean they mean it. Look at Jol and his short stories and soundbites.

I'm gonna wipe the slate clean. Today is a new day. The past is the past.

podcast of the day

Not that I ever post podcasts (maybe I should do my own) but found this of interest:

From this week's Times Podcast:

Guillem Balague: "I was at the Spurs training ground this week. I was amazed that some of the tactical work that Juande was trying to put across to the squad just caught many players by surprise. As if they hadn't done anything for two years, as though they were sixteen again - 'Oh, what's he want us to do? He wants us to run because this is an offensive tactic? Oh right.' It was a bit surprising. I think that is something that will affect the way that Juande will improve the side."


timesonline.co.uk/podcasts/thegame/article2792288

Can't say this is shocking. We have been tragic with tactics for some time, usually saved by fighting spirit, which has also been lost in recent times.

Hail the new age, hey?

No Diggity

One minute, Jol claims there wasn't a problem with Berbatov, the next he says there is. Make your mind up, Martin. First he claims he didn't have to ask Berbatov to get up and warm-up in the game against Newcastle. Now he claims that's exactly the case. In his new book. Yes, a book. Probably had an extra chapter added to it recently.

He harps on about Berbatov being a bit like Cruyff. 'Gifted'. But apparently, not a figher. So, why the fuck play him week in and week out? Bit of a contridiction there Martin. Either he is good for the team or he isn't, yet you had no problem playing him and yet now suddenly you reveal he isn't a fighter. Excellent selection work right there. Stick the ones with no heart into the team to lead us.

In addition to all this, today Berbatov Senior is apparently telling everyone his son wants out THIS January.

"My son doesn't feel happy at Tottenham any more. He wants to leave."

If that isn't 'ITK' I don't know what is. In addition (the Daily Mirror) add a nice little quote from a club insider (made up) stating:

Sources close to the striker added: "Dimitar is telling everybody that he doesn't want to stay and would like to leave in January.

"He feels that he made a mistake in the summer by not asking the club to sell him when Manchester United were interested."

Thank you for stating the obvious.

Berbatov can go. World class player when he feels like it, horrific attitude towards the club. Shame really, its been a while since we've had a geniune world class player at the club, and it might be a while longer before we get another. Though he hasn't done his reputation any favours with his sulking. But then he is bound to suggest that Spurs haven't done him any favours with their politics.

Jellied eels? No thanks

More speculation, this time about the potential re-building of White Hart Lane and who Spurs may have to ground share with. BBC run a news item on 'Inside Sport' last night, and the Mihir Bose 'understands' this with another insightful article on the Beebs football pages.

Firstly, nothing new. Spurs will either move away from WHL for a couple of years while it's rebuilt and ground share or Spurs will remain at the Lane while a brand new stadium is built from scratch. We all knew this, it's obvious that Spurs will either re-develop their current home or move on. What is new in the way of information is that we have apparently we have Tony Winterbottom (who played a role in the development of Arsenal's ground) on board who is looking at how WHL can expand to 52,000. Also, Paul Philips (a project manager, again involved at the Emirates) and Ken Shuttleworth, an architect who is the right-hand man of Norman Foster who worked on Wembley.

All very good. Dream Team in place. All we need now is the decision on whether we stay or go. Don't want out of WHL. I'm a sentimental bastard. If we did move then ground sharing isn't something I'm looking forward too. Have to scoof at the idea of sharing with West Ham United. I can see the police loving that idea. Getting to the ground on match days would probably involve the odd ambush and flare-up. Imagine playing at Upton Park in a 'home' match against Chelsea. That's one three-some I'd gladly say no to. Better still, when WHU play as at Upton Park in our 'home' game and they turn up with 20,000 away fans. Wear your colours for that early kick-off.

Other suggestions have us playing outside of London at Watford or Reading. Don't really approve of that either. And as for the Emirates, no thanks. Even though, of all the potential clubs we could share with that would give us the least amount of trouble in travel. Wembley would have to be the number one choice. But the FA seem reluctant to help out.

Will be interesting to see if the club decide to ask the fans what they would like with regards to having the ground expanded or move to a new location in Enfield. Bose states that Spurs would prefer to remain at the Lane. Hopefully this is the one thing Levy won't let me down on.

Comolli: Berbatov Stays / The Times: Berbatov Goes

From the club that brought you the excellent 'We Never Spoke to Ramos' and 'Martin Jol has our full support' statements, Damien Comolli proudly presents a Dont Worry Production, straight from the heart of the Lane (but failing to appear on the website in an official capacity):

"It is simply not an issue. I met with Dimitar's agent today and he assured me Dimitar is not looking for a move in January and simply wants to concentrate on helping the team push up the table.

"He is on a long-term contract with us and Juande (Ramos) sees him as an important part of our plans."

You heard the man. He will not be looking for a move in January. Yeah sure, Comolli mentions 'long term contract' but if Berbatov was planning on staying wouldn't he publicly deny the rumours? Wouldn't his agent do the same? If Spurs were confident he was not looking to move on, wouldn't Comolli clearly state 'Berbatov will not be leaving Spurs, not in January or the summer. He has a contract and he is committed to it' as means of burying the uncertainty?

No, instead he simply tells us that the player won't be looking for a move in 'January'.

"No ones looking....I could jump over and the fence....and BE FREE!!"

This is then followed up by the usual textbook tabloid/broadsheet article (no quotes or proof) that Berbatov is leaving the club and in the summer. Maybe the journo (in this case The Times Gary Jacob) has also noted Comolli's 'January' statement and gone to town on it in a creative frenzy or maybe he can put two and two together and work out the fact that there's more chance of Levy growing hair on his head than the Bulgarian remaining loyal.

For your reading pleasure, here's the article:

Dimitar Berbatov free to leave Spurs if they miss out on top four
by Gary Jacob

Dimitar Berbatov has sought assurance that he will be able to leave Tottenham Hotspur at the end of the season. Emil Dantchev, his representative, met Damien Comolli, the Tottenham sporting director, yesterday to discuss the Bulgaria forward’s future.

Berbatov has been unsettled by Tottenham’s refusal to allow him to move to Manchester United in the summer as well as his club’s poor start to the season.

United first made an approach for the forward towards the end of the last campaign, in which he scored 23 goals in his first season after his move from Bayer Leverkusen. Tottenham were unwilling to sell him, not least because supporters would have questioned their ambition after the departure of Michael Carrick, the England midfield player, to United a year before. But the club are believed to have come to a gentlemen’s agreement that he can leave for a large fee if Tottenham fail to qualify for the Champions League this season.

There is the prospect of the striker asking for a transfer in January, but Comolli says that was not on the agenda during talks yesterday. “It is simply not an issue,” Comolli said. “I met with Dimitar’s agent today and he assured me Dimitar is not looking for a move in January and simply wants to concentrate on helping the team to push up the table. He is on a long-term contract with us.”

If we miss out on Champions League football? If? LOL. Good one Gary. If.....if all the above is true then that speaks volumes for the type of man Berbatov truly is. A let down. An a-typical modern day footballer with no true heart or commitment. Tevez never sulked last season. He got on with it. And yes, he looked far far better than he actually was because he was playing in a team that were simply woeful in every possible way, but he gave 500% for his club even though he knew he was off. Berbatov has given us an epic sulk. Nothing more. Well, apart from several flicks that have led to goals from Robbo hoofs up the field. But I'm sure post-Ramos it's gonna be a bit more attractive. Whether Berbatov has a change of heart or not, remains to be seen.

Fact is, he has the power to make all the rumours and tabloid guess work go away by simply telling us, in his own words. "I'm not leaving Spurs".

So, Dimitar...anything you want to share with us?

Berbatov. The man with a face like a slapped arse.

A player in lilywhite should be 100%. Not 99%. Not 70% and without doubt not 30% which is what most of our players are on at the moment.

If Berbatov has gone against 'character' (remember, he has harped on about rejecting Utd for Spurs - and its well documented he is a modest down to earth man) and he wants out, then fuck him. For all his posturing and pretty boy looks, if he's gonna play with a dis-interested and negative attitude then I don't want him there.

If he now believes he made a mistake joining us and not going to a Champions League side instead, its because of the one season of success he had at Spurs - so surely he should continue to represent the team and build on that reputation? He signed a contract. But what does that matter in the modern age of football when players are more important than the clubs.

There's no doubt something is wrong with him this season. I heard whispers of personal problems, unrelated to football, but going from the incidents with Jol you suspect its more to do with the politics of the club and the tactics on the pitch. Maybe that's the reason he wants out. A player of his quality - a world class player - deserves the ball played to feet and not hoofed up field.

If you want, we can all hope that Ramos joining will place an end to all that happened before and if Berbatov reclaims his past form, we'll all be laughing again....at the opposition, rather than our inability to win games.

The Biggest Game in our History™

Tottenham v Wigan.

We need this. Three points. Clean sheet. Confidence booster. Yes, it will be against another struggling team - but who cares? We need that 'swagger' back. We need to brush them aside. I'm not talking in the manner we beat Derby earlier in the season. I'm talking about utterly tearing them to pieces.

This season, due to commitments outside of football, I have missed the Cup games. I was also not present at the Derby win. I have yet to see Spurs win a game of football in the Prem- season 2008.

If Spurs fail to impress in this game, then Ramos has a mission impossible to get these over-paid, passion only in sound-bites, sulking mega-stars up to an acceptable standard.

I want to see them sweat blood. I want people watching the game highlights on MotD that evening thinking they've just tuned into a trailer for Frank Millers '300'.

Maybe Ramos should pluck a fan from every stand in the ground and take them into the dressing room pre-game and let them have a word with one or two of our players.

"Get a fucking grip" - is what I would say. Its a game of football. You don't suddenly turn shit over night, and if the reason for it happening has gone - then skip the transitional period and just play like your life depends on it, because we support the team like our life depends on it and its about high time you fucking gave us something back, you miserable excuse of team. I'd probably slap Berbatov across the face, get him all fired up. And I'd also slap Dawson. No reason, just has that type of face.

Spurs 5 Wigan 0 is the headline I want to be reading come Monday morning after the game.