The Spurs Madrid El Clásico

For the fanboys.

Even in a computer game Tottenham Hotspur appear to retain that heart wrenching heart pulling heart beat skipping drama that the version in real life seem to own the copyright for. What am I mumbling about now? Sorry, should have introduced myself.

Hello, I'm Spooky. I'm a Football Manager addict.

And this is my personal all-time favourite heart in mouth epic from my current FM2011 save game. It's against Real Madrid. It's in the Champions League. First round knock-out. And the first leg is away.

Click on the images to expand and view the stats more clearly if FM porn turns you on.

1st leg - Bernabeu

Teams:

Inept display in the Bernabeu with just two shots on target and plenty of tippy-tappy possession that led to ineffectual movement in and around the box. Madrid, punishing and in control from start to finish, easily winning with a three goal margin thanks to decisive finishing. When they had a clear chance, they took it. Practically out of the competition at the final whistle, I'm sure most would agree.

 

 

2nd leg - White Hart Lane, N17

Teams:

If this was released on dvd, it wouldn't be. It wouldn't even be blu-ray. It could only be 3D. The most pulsating of games thanks mainly to my pre-match worries that concerned the question: What the heck can I do to win this game? Under the floodlights, at the Lane, fate made a very late appearance to turn the tie on it's head in a ridiculously impossible 'only Spurs' kinda way.

Allow me to explain chronologically:

Ronaldo gets sent off for petulance, early on in the 15th minute. Very nice of him to oblige. This inspired the team.
We proceed to absolutely batter them with possession play and shots on goal.
Aguero makes the break-through in the 33rd minute.
It's still 1-0 after 87 minutes. Even with over thirty efforts on goal, we simply cannot find a way through a resolute and battling Madrid side.
Magic by Neymar on the wing, crosses for Bale, who scores to make it 2-0 in the 88th minute. Too little too late?
Then masses of drama in injury time. Zapata is sent off for a second bookable offence about 15 yards outside the penalty area.
The resulting free-kick is floated into the box, where a Spurs player is pushed. Ref points to the spot. PENALTY!
The very definition of pressure. The Lane holds its breath.
Gourcuff steps up (having missed his three previous pens).
He scores, emphatically. 3-3, second minute of injury time. Believe!
Extra time.
Eleven men V nine men.
Time for a royal procession. van der Vaart corner from the left. Ledley header (109th minute) to make it 4-0.
van der Vaart corner from the right. Ledley header again (118th minute).
5-0. You hear that Franco? Your boys took one hell of a beating. 5-3 on agg.
I'm positively beaming at all the colourful on screen animated pixels and their almost better than life simulation of a football match (I did earlier cite the word 'addict').

 

 

Emotional glory. Madrid, ended. Thanks for watching.

Footnote: Went on to beat Leverkusen in the final, 4-1.

#2 International Break Diary II

In defence of SI

Football Manager 2008. If you believe the disgruntled gamers it has Syphilis. Or a common cold. Or a bug or something. Currently, the SI Forum is like that final hellmouth engulfing Sunnydale, which means that Miles Jacobson will have to stick on a blonde wig and change his name to Buffy. The 'big evil' has thrown its toys out of the pram and demanding a patch 'or else'. Time to stake that motherf*cker in the heart.

Dear Disgruntled FM gamer,

Football Manager 2008 is a game. SI will fix everything. The fact is, 10 years or so of this footballing uber-spreadsheet has resulted in some of the most undeserving impatient ungrateful gamers (a minority thankfully) of any game I know of. Football Manager is not Theme Park. It’s a football game and therefore is based on a massive database of stats and processing and formulas. It will never be a 99.99% nailed on replica of real football – and some of you have quite obviously forgotten this (or choose to think it is actually possible to get 99.99% and how dare SI fail to do so). Its a simulation at best. And it tries it's damned hardest to be that. Be grateful they still make it. In a world where the emphasis is on big colourful box office style games, it's a testament to SI that the game still shifts the amount of units it does.

You know why SI don’t have any competition? Because there simply isn't a development team out there good enough or determined enough to put out what is quite obviously a monster of a genre to develop and manage and update.

I'm not saying that the game doesn't have bugs. It quite obviously does and I'm not dismissing the fact that just because I don't experience any problems playing as a Prem club, that others in the lower leagues have their playability affected by issues that need to be fixed.

Yes. It’s frustrating. But the anal obsessive detail some people complain at is just plain silly and at times almost deranged. It’s almost like there’s a group who actively go searching for problems with the games engine and can’t play it because of minor issues that do not have a detrimental effect on the game. Others do however have a right to be frustrated because the issues they find through gameplay DOES have a detrimental effect. But the manner some of you people express your complaints is pretty immature.

If SI had not released the game when they did and waited to complete further testing, you would not have had it when you got it - so waiting another week or three for a patch to make it 'playable' (the very definition of that is altogether another subject) makes no difference. That’s just my opinion and I know others will claim ‘we wouldn’t be upset if we paid £30 for the game and didn’t need a patch’. But let’s not be naïve about it. This happens all the time. Even with operating systems like Windows. Other games have massive flaws in them or simply don’t give the hours of gameplay FM can – so putting up with these type of industry quirks isn’t really a big deal. It's a fact of life. And one that most have to sadly deal with.

The irony here is that some people have choosen to forget this happened with FM2007 too but the hardcore who complained prefer to look back and suggest that it was less 'buggy', probably because they were appeased with SI's patches that followed.

Call of Duty. 5 hours gameplay. Probably didn’t need a patch on release. But that’s a shooter. FM is a completely different type of creature. As for FM gameplay? 100 hours? 1000 hours? Which is probably the reason there is such a low threshold of tolerance for ‘bugs’. But every incarnation has struggled with them – so doesn’t that tell you something? Even with such an experienced and hard working team, it’s sill a brutal experience for them to build this game. And the very nature of tweaking and adjusting means one of the consequences is that it always needs to be tweaked. FM is like a demanding girlfriend and finding her g-spot takes a little time.

It’s a joke? It’s unacceptable? You want your money back? You want to try the competition? Feel free to do just that. You'll be back soon enough and you know it.

Few developers care about their product as much as SI do - and if you look at the competition and the fact that their games are fundamentally shallow and lack depth and are just cosmetic or full of gimmicks - how on earth can you sit there and slag them off like they don’t give a shit? Have they stolen candy from a baby? Defecated through your letter-box?

Look at Championship Manager. Unbalanced game which is let down by the very fact it falls several leagues behind FM's gameplay and depth. That's the competition.

So grow the fuck up and lose the fundamentalist attitude you have towards the game.

It's a privilege not a right.

Yours 'top of the league with Spurs',

Spooky