Wear your heart on your sleeve

So, here I am. Having returned from a weekend no-internet sabbatical. I have seen nothing at all of our 3-2 home friendly win against Fiorentina. Dare I ask...is Robbie Keane showing signs of redemption in form? It's pre-season though, right? So I guess we can't read too much into it. Although dos Santos continues to pull out the tricks apparently. No sign of any new signings. Harry now spouting sound-bites that we are not in a position to challenge the upper tier unless he brings in 3 players. Everyone awaits to see what Citeh plan to do, considering their untold targets and little squad room. They buy, they need to sell. And it's open season for the rest of us.

Had some colourful conversations this weekend. One concerned our redevelopment project. The listed building that have caused such a fuss, you know the ones? The ones that have been derelict for so many years. Apparently, if they do remain they'll be knocked down eventually. It's called progress. All this fuss, apparently - will be for nothing. I'm not I..T..K..(I promise).

Also had a fellow Spurs fan say that Bellamy would be a great signing. You get the feeling nothing is going to happen until perhaps this week or next - with incomings and outgoings. Like I said, everyone is waiting for City to kick-start it. One signing will cause a knock-on effect. I don't like Bellamy. Spends too time injured, or at least that's the perception I get from him. Yes, he was stupendous at times last season for City. You get the feeling he's the type of player who would kill off the 'ickle' teams we sometimes make hard work out of. But is he a next-level player? I guess 'superstar' signings are hard to find in this day and age.

Only other news I've picked up on since browsing back on-line is Crouchie paying £800 to some hooker for sex. Honestly Peter, shop about mate, you probably only have to endure two hours of West End shopping with the missus to get it for free.

Apparently Liverpool want him back. I don't see how that would work out. Although someone is going to have to leave if we're going to boost our front line with a new addition. My money is still on Keane.

Also, the England squad. Bit of a mish-mash. Several players dropped. Perhaps because they under-performed? Or maybe Fabio wants to take a look at some new blood and has simply excluded one or two for that perhaps. Although quite how a few of them (guess) have made it back in there considering their World Cup experience...meh, who cares? Either way, it's good news for us. Last thing we need are injury concerns before the season has even started thanks to a nothing international game.

Less than a week to go now until the EPL is back. Epiphany time. Many people are sort of half knee-jerking about the new season. I'm not so sure much has changed from last season to this. If we show the same tenacity, we'll do just fine. City might be collecting players for fun, but they might find themselves in a similar position to last year. Fragmented, and thus 5th. Doesn't mean we should be dismissive of them or others. When is it ever easy? But considering what we achieved in that final month or so, I'd say we should trust more. Wear your heart on your sleeve, and just enjoy it.

What did we learn from the England game?

Practically nothing.

Sure, it's a friendly and okay Fabio selected an experimental side and some of the more senior players were applying little assertion to avoid big injuries. And post-match, for Fabio to state he knows his final 23 players already would suggest that regardless of what happened against Japan, there wasn't a lot of importance bestowed on the game, other than perhaps one or two miracles to make him scratch that chin and re-think. Which is fine considering how casually inept the game was as a whole from our standing point. I mean for starters, our two goals were scored by Japanese players. Heskey might have nabbed one all for himself from 3 yards out, but the ball really needed to be 2 yards out for him to stick it away with conviction. Bit unlucky there.

Elsewhere, Huddlestone played well without being exceptional. He did what he did, passing the ball around neatly. Not really a test and not the type of game where he could perhaps show the gaffer he is a better bet than say Carrick. Our back four were pretty much woeful for large periods. Johnson was all over the shop. Again. I bet he's gutted King wasn't on the pitch to take the blame.

And then there's Theo Walcott. I know he's young, and I know two years back many had reservations about Lennon and his (lack of) end product, but why exactly we persist in a player (a confidence player with no confidence) when it's obvious that waiting for him to recreate the type of magic he's created 2 or 2 times before (that many) seems to be quite desperate from an England perspective. He has pace, and if the plan is to use him as a late sub, it still doesn't fit well considering he struggles to influence the game in any meaningful way when given more time on the pitch to impress.

He's had a poor season, has suffered from injury layouts. Still living off that hat trick, that run against Liverpool and that chipped goal for Soton. Is he even a winger? If he played for anyone else, he'd be nowhere near this squad.

Which brings me back to the point of this game. If it was one last chance (to follow on from the whole bundle left behind him) then he failed to impress. SWP did more in his appearance than Walcott has managed for countless England games. This is not a 'Aaron is better than Theo' propaganda piece. This is more of a 'let's drop the dead donkey' awareness campaign. Azza was placed on the left, obviously to accommodate Theo's inclusion. So we hardly got much from our wing-man thanks to Ashley Cole and his marauding runs on the left. That and the fact that the ball spent most of it's time going out to the right hand side, before the players got a little bored of nothing happening. I'm hoping Fabio is well aware that Lennon works better running down the wing, with a man up head to skip past - which is why he is better suited to the right-wing and no Cole. As for Theo, he's better suited at home watching the WC on his wide-screen. Although I'm sure if he doesn't travel, he'll still manage to get a mention (ask ITV and Gareth Southgate who described a Walcott shot on goal which the keeper saved, when it was Lennon who had the effort).

Okay, so it is a propaganda piece. I'm just bored of repeating myself here. And before any gooners latch onto this, there's a fair view who agree with me. If there is room in the squad for a 'wildcard' then I'd probably go with Adam Johnson. He's had a far better season. If TW does go, and proceeds to go on a mazy 50 yard run and scores the winner, then most of us probably wouldn't care if he doesn't do anything again for five years. Seems an awfully big risk and ask of the kid. He has time on his hands. Let him claim stake to true form and end product by developing and improving, rather than us forcing the issue, over and over and over again.

So, over to Fabio for that one. And for the sake of England, Walcott is better off out on loan at a club with less pressure and with no bog-standard requirement for Henry mk II posturing.

As for the rest of the game, there's not that much more to comment on. No tempo from England, all far too ordinary and predictable and pedestrian with (thankfully) some fine moments from Rooney and Hart to keep as mostly awake. We didn't use the wings - but then I've already explained why. It was all pretty much a bore, and I'm sure we'll improve tenfold when we play the USA. At the very least, it will be a more balanced side - so perhaps we'll have some form of tempo to excite us and give us hope. Might actually be a blessing, playing the USA. Could turn out to be a EPL type of encounter.

I expect Hudd and Daws to be tuning into the game with the rest us. Both lack the experience and can't be risked. Although the irony of someone like Dawson (who has arguably had a fairly fantastic season) missing out, is then not so hurtful when you consider the experience that stands before him for those central positions. Even with the likes of Rio and Terry looking a bit shaky at times. You can't honestly see him going because every CD has more England experience than him (although I don't rate Carragher or Upson above Daws - but the former is (apparently) more versatile).

It's all come a bit too late for Tommy (Joe Cole a shoe-in), so perhaps next time round. For the both of them. Crouch, Defoe, Lennon and King - dead certs.

England expects.

Fabio's gone too far this time

OUTRAGED fans blasted the England squad after Fabio Capello umm'd and ahh'd - and then decided to select Juddlestone for the England friendly against Brazil this weekend.

Hundreds of irate supporters bombarded radio, tv and tabloids with emails and calls attacking the loopy decision.

Mike Bayliss, 35, of  Southend said: "Fabio has ruined his own reign. It's Maradona syndrome. He's gone too far this time. Honestly, the skinny one out of the two reminds me of a deer with legs made of jelly caught in headlights. A jelly footed deer. Called Nancy. Soiling herself in the bright lights"

Carpenter Jim Williams, 44, of Manchester, added: "This proves the England team is no longer a footballing contest"

And nayimfromthehalfwayline emailed to say: "He's pretended to ignore the twins but has manipulated the public to now believe they are good enough for selection. I'll never watch England again."

Road sweeper David Dinner, 31, of London, said: "This is an outrage. The reason people tune into England games is to see Fabio lead us to victory with class and style - but he has totally undermined this."

Rebecca Jones, 29, of Newport, Wales, said: "There's no evidence of talent and to place them in amongst all the wealth of ability is a joke"

Richard Dingle, 29, London, said: "I have always admired and liked Fabio, but today I am disgusted with him, I cannot believe he hasn't selected Wilshire."

Juddlestone - The controversial twins backed by the England boss

Stephen Roberts, 22, of Ongar, Essex, added: "The fat one out of the two, he can hardly move. I can run around faster than him and I'm 18 stone"

Ronan Toor, 43, of Lewes, East Sussex, said: "Fabio has made himself look an idiot. He should have had the guts to ignore the terrible twins but instead has turned international football into a joke"

Jonathon Hust, 48, of Liverpool, said: "It's a disgrace. I know this Brazil friendly means nothing and there's no doubting that they are there just there to make up the numbers but there's plenty of others to select from with real talent…like Stephen Warnock. What? He's in the squad too? Sweet"

However, some fans did back Fabio's decision. DBTheTruth tweeted: "Juddlestone DO deserve to be selected, and booing from the fans and the hatred they're getting is just appalling! I for one am looking forward to those pin-point accurate balls to feet"

Chris Barber, 32, Birmingham, said: "Huddlestone does well when he's pinging balls to players who are willing to run into space and struggles in congested games made up of short fast passing movements. He'd do fine for England. No real need to run around and plenty of time on the ball. Everyone knows international football is a step down from the Premier League. The other one? He's a bit like that Andrew Ridgeley from Wham. He's there. You can see him. He appears to have the tools to do the job, but you can't quite figure out what the hell he's meant to be doing, standing there with a blank expression looking lost as people around him do all the work"


Read more: http://glory-glory.co.uk/forums/1/756618/ShowThread.asp

Things to get you through a weekend without Tottenham

Does the International break bore you?

England are playing this weekend. Am I the only person who finds it all a bit of a bore when there are no Tottenham games to go to or watch on TV? Don't get me wrong, I'm as patriotic as the next fan...but only for qualifying games and tournaments (when we actually manage to get there).

Friendlies never get my juices flowing. If I can't shout, scream and generally have my emotions soar, dip and ripped apart then it's not really football. Something needs to be at risk. And I don't find pride is when its just a warm-up match. Even if it's in preparation for an important game (next Wednesday) against the Ukraine. Saturday's (against Slovakia) still a friendly. A glorified training session.

Yes I know, Aaron Lennon might play, and if he does well he might (just might) make an appearance next week. Although if you take a quick look at the Beckham feature article on the BBC site you'll note that he has every chance (Becks that is) of playing as Walcott and SWP are not in the squad.

Cough? Forgotten someone perhaps?

And with the debate about whether King should have or should not have been called up by Fabio dragging on and on (you honestly think 'arry isn't going to talk about it some more?), I can't help but look ahead to our next Prem game against Blackburn. Proper bread and butter football.

I don't have Setanta at home and the local pub that shows live games is usually full of West Ham fans who will no doubt be out in numbers carrying around replicas of the Jules Rimet and banging on about '66 and celebrating in the streets that they invented modern day football.

I'd rather avoid it all tbh. But will definitely make the effort for the Ukraine game. For sure.

So to get me through Saturday, I've devised a list of potential activities to help me avoid the overwhelming boredom that would otherwise consume me. Feel free to suggest your own.

1) Work out the points accumulated in the opening eight games under Ramos and then calculate the points accumulated by Harry Redknapp from the time of his appointment till the present day and based on Harry's points to games ratio, work out where we would be had he been manager at the start of the season. Then device a What If Premier League table that will have us within touching distance of a Champions League place and then work out whether we can claim 4th spot based on our remaining fixtures and who we would need to buy in the summer to help consolidate the challenge domestically and in Europe. Then post all my findings and analysis on a Tottenham message board and watch it grow to 100 pages in a day with around 3000 replies. Just for kicks.

2) Throw eggs at the home of the person who wears the current Chirpy mascot outfit at home games. WE DON'T LIKE YOU. DO YOU UNDERSTAND? I want the original Chirpy back. The one that doesn't look he's possessed by a demon with a smug Adam Sandler complex.

3) Watch my Sky+ recording of the Arsenal v Spurs 4-4, replaying the final 10 minutes several times to catch the various reactions of the Spurs players and the fans - specifically at the point before and after Lennon equalizes. Then using my TV capture card, create a montage video of the glorious evening with Tina Turners 'Simply the Best' as the soundtrack. Then upload to Facebook and Youtube and then update Twitter every 5 minutes, linking to the video, and posting inane hilarity about how busy the London Underground was this morning and what I had for lunch.

4) Begin legal proceedings to sue West Ham United. The other day I had what I can only assume was a very dodgy lasagna which blatantly gave me the runs and a chronic gut. This resulted in a Vietnamesque flashback in a packed shopping centre - ala Sgt. Elias - falling to my knees, hands aloft, screaming in agony at the returning realisation of how close we came to a dream qualification into the elite of European football. A dream destroyed by a Benayoun top corner finish.

As nobody was ever charged or held accountable for poisoning the Spurs team, and as West Ham were the opposition that day and inflicted the defeat on a side ravaged by ill health, they remain the only ones responsible for my emotional upheaval that resurfaced in such an undignified and public way.

I'm after a reasonable pay-out. Equivalent to what Spurs lost in Champions League revenue. That should cover the trauma and rehabilitation.

5) Walk up to random strangers and state '2 points, 8 games'. The message must be spread to the non-believers.

6) Go round my parents for lunch and refuse to sit down on the sofa. If my dad manages to talk me into sitting down because I'm making everyone feel uncomfortable, I will do so. Then wait until he walks away, then stand up and burst into song: 'Stand up if you love mums cooking, stand up......'.

7) Travel up to Manchester, sneak into Dimitar Berbatov's back garden and then use my state-of-the-art tranquilizer gun to shoot all the squirrels in the vicinity. Who you gonna feed now, Berba? Hey? Who you gonna feed now?

8) Watch my Sky+ recording of the Spurs v Chelsea 1-0. Then using my TV capture card, create a montage video of Modric and his performance, to the music of 'Diamond Lights'. In addition, morph highlights of Moddle into highlights of Hoddle, subtly suggesting that Modric is the new King of the Lane. Then upload to Facebook and Youtube and then update Twitter every 5 minutes to make sure people are fully aware that I'm 'online', either sat in front of a pc or texting updates via my mobile phone.

9) Search through all Bit Torrent sites and Newsgroups for a soft copy version of the Tottenham Hotspur Opus. Come on! Surely someone must have scanned this and uploaded it to the internet? You can find practically anything on-line. Whether it's DC or Marvel comics, books, novels, screenplays, about a million PDF's and random user-guides, every piece of software, music, pornography and movie you can possibly imagine......but no bleeding Opus? Further proof that nobody has actually bought a copy, because if let's say 10 people purchased one, at least one of them would have shared this with the www. It's 2009 ffs. People don't even bother buying Playboy anymore, they just wait for some else to scan and upload it. So I'm told.

10) Stand near the living room window, and pretend I've got Setanta by booing every few minutes. People walking past will assume Ashley Cole is playing shit. And this will bring much joy to the world.