An actual conversation with a Spurs and Arsenal fan

Directors cut. Because I don't like to edit. Not safe for work. Unless you plug in your earphones.

You'll have seen one or two 'conversation with an Arsenal/Spurs fan' videos doing the rounds in recent weeks. Below is my own version. A short film. Well actually its not mine, it's yours, whether you're a Spurs fan or one of them lot from down the road, I've weaved your words into a conversation as the material used is regurgitated quotes, sound-bites and commentary taken from recent forum posts, blogs and discussion threads.

Well done all of you.

You can also view the video here.

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Not for the faint hearted. It's the NLD...

It's not lost on me. The irony. That we can have a season full of hope and genuine progression, not of the deluded kind, but the type where other fans concede (and thus confirm) that we have made some decent strides forward. And yet two successive defeats could result with the gold at the end of the rainbow lost for yet another season in a downpour of angst and pain. Eternally, it would seem, out of our reach.

Some have knee-jerked already. Harry out. Yes, we do have fickle fans who seem to sing with the rest of us and then riot the moment things don't go our way. And yes, it's frustrating to see the same tired excuses suddenly cameo to ruin what was a perfectly good Cup run. But these things do happen. And to suggest they always happen to us is the type of victimisation that a fan of any other club, even the ones that win things regularly, mumble about every now and again. The world and the Gods of fate always stand in the way, as its usually the only comfort we can take when, I don't know, people slip in the mud or a perfectly good goal gets disallowed. How else do you get your head around it? Oh right, of course. Blame the manager.

Depending on your perspective, the season will either end in tears or be one that we can look back proudly on - and that's even if we fail to finish 4th. But then that depends on whether you think/believe Harry saved us and has got us moving forwards or whether he took advantage and acted out his saviour role but will struggle (is struggling) to take us to the next level.

How bad were we under Ramos? Two points, eight games bad. Bad enough to go down? Probably not. All it needed was some back to basics that he (HR) provided. He got us on the up, when most thought he'd fail. So can we really truly be critical of him considering how the opposite of patience (what we usually dish out on and off the pitch) has hardly ever helped? Yes, he's an interim manager (IMO) who will pass us over to the next big thing when the time comes, but his work is far from over. Stability is the key. Otherwise there is nothing to be handed over, apart from another fine mess.

Perhaps with the money spent and the players we had - at the start of this season - challenging for 4th had to be a given. It's turned out to be a given through-out thanks to the hard work and graft by all concerned. It's quite obviously never been a banker. But then that was never going to be the case. We've made ourselves CL contenders, with the aid of the ever decreasing power of some of the Top 4 sides (Liverpool anyone?). Some fans will say that 4th this season was never the objective and that we have over-achieved and based on last seasons antics, we should be happy with our lot. I see that as nothing more as a ready made excuse to appease people who can't handle the pressure.

It's all part and parcel of supporting a team. You're going to have ups and downs, and in this era of the monopolised Sky Sports 4, you take what you can when you can and try to make the most of it. And in the midst of it all, you make sure that the club and team grows and matures and progress is had. We've dropped points that would have been useful at this juncture of the season. But we lost them because we're not quite good enough, in some quarters. Beating sides who defend deep and with numbers and breaking them down has proved to be a bugbear. We'll learn from it. There is tinkering to be had with the midfield and the attack and sustained long term plans for the central defence conundrum (i.e. King's future). We'll learn from it and push onwards because there is no other choice.

Okay, so it's gutting there is no additional Wembley day out. Move on. It's done and dusted.

Chelsea on Saturday. Utd the following weekend. Yes, we have injuries. Yes, arguably we might not have players mentally strong enough to pick themselves up from the Pompey loss, and if that's the case then all that's left to do is renew our season tickets and look forward to a summer where City will spend half a billion and we request donations to the Tottenham Foundation when the poorer side of Manchester come knocking. We'll be in the thick of it again, no doubt. Regardless of how much other clubs look to improve, we'll improve ourselves. Which makes the Premier League even more open and entertaining.

But before all that, there's the matter of the NLD to be resolved. Two sides, depleted, both not at the level they wish to be and both having their own personal and differing issues with defence and attack selections. It's open. Its massively open. More so than you think. Yes, it can turn into a one-sided affair, if either the whites or reds take the initiative and turn the tempo to a pulsating level early on. We've seen that happen plenty of times before. Or perhaps one team might dominate, and the other nick a point at the death. Or perhaps, tired legs will play a fatal part in the result. One thing is for certain, there is far more of a 'underdog' feeling about this based on the fact that we've not had that much time to rest and the fact we've been dumped out the Cup. But alas, excuses, excuses. I don't care for these minor details. The game is completely unpredictable. And I'd be damned if I was going to sulk pre-match about it.

It's the North London derby. A match solely based on matters of a footballing nature. No politics or religion. Just football. Two neighbours forever hurling abuse over the garden fence. Would not want it any other way. Well, apart from perhaps building an extension that casts a shadow over their back yard. Knock-down ginger doesn't quite cut it anymore.

Form guide? 23 games. Same amount that Gareth….sshh. Don't say it out loud.

The players, they should be fired up regardless. As fired up as the fans. No one can argue that we've not had our moments in these games in the past, but having moments is not always enough to guarantee the three points and the all important bragging rights. One of the inherited legacy problems Harry has is the fact that unlike other sides (City, Everton etc) we never manage to get one over our rivals. We always turn it into a struggle. That's how we roll. Perhaps its because of the hype, self-perpetuated by stupid players and the media that we are somehow on par when we're not. Dig deep, play the role of underdog. Show no respect. Because on the day the belief can be that in the 90 minutes - we can better them, and surely that's all that's required? That's how we should roll. We did exactly that in the 5-1 semi but went to pieces earlier this season over in their patch.

But fuck me if you think I'm going to dig a grave six foot deep and dive into it with a copy of The Opus and a lock of hair from Daniel Levy (use your imagination).

Yes, it's going to be a bitch. Gotta love the fixture list computer giving us these three games towards the end of the season (insert David Dein conspiracy theory here). It happens. No reason to complain. Two London derbies and a trip to Old Trafford. I'll take that gladly thank you very much. In amongst it with the potential to rattle the odd cage or two.

So yes. We've got injuries. And yes, City are ahead in the race for 4th. And yes, most gooners I know have gone from saying they'd be happy with a point to now telling us they will win with ease. All because we lost to Portsmouth. Enough of the sound-bites.

It's a North London derby. Selection headaches, positions, aspirations. All irrelevant for the occasion at hand.

It should be nothing more or less than the most important 90 minutes of any season. Blood, thunder, drive and spirit. And tenfold passion. How else can you possibly match the noise in the ground? If that can't elevate you then nothing can. And yes, bite me, I'm a football romantic, but to me these games should be defined by guile and tenacity of the players out on the pitch. And not because XXX is out injured watching from the sidelines.

To dare is to f*cking do, so just f*cking get on with it and do it.

COYS.

If I had the wings of a sparrow...

The North London derby.

Probably the purist of all derby games simply because the animosity stems from matters of football rather than religion or social and geographic economic upheavals. No docks or waving of loyalist flags. Just two neighbours at war over long forgotten arguments screaming abuse at each over the garden fence, we are forever enemies with no chance of a reconciliation. Not unless they sell up and move back to the South of the river where they came from. That would appease most. Unlikely with their current mortgage and new home. And we obviously have no reason to leave either. We were here before them. And renovations are afoot for a lovely new extension too. And we should still be left with the money and time to perhaps organise a nice little tour of Europe. Standard class. But we should try and book first class.

And as much as we despise each other, we perversely look forward to our encounters. A couple of times every year guaranteed, there's always a bit of a scuffle. Without fail. Pushing, finger pointing. The usual bravado which can sometimes end up with a brick being lobbed over, breaking a window. Their aim has been a lot better than ours recently. Although last time a fight broke out in their garden, it ended all square. They thought they got the better of us, all smug and showing off, but we managed to have the last word leaving a rather bitter taste in their mouth.

Never a boring day in North London.

Spurs v Arsenal. We hate them and they hate us. Because we do. Unquestionable good old traditional 'hate'. I'm hoping that regardless of injuries and suspensions and the fact that we hardly ever beat them in the league (it's getting tedious now), this time we turn up and smash them up all over the pitch. Last season we rode our luck but kept believing and plugging away. We looked for a way back in and deserved the point for simply never giving up. It was a point clawed back from the grasp of oblivion. And a point that set us on our way upwards and away from the mire.

Usually at WHL we stand up and fight and sometimes, almost…almost get something out of it. All I ask of the players is to remember to bring some of that blood and thunder to proceedings come Saturday mid-day at their patch. Nothing worse than not showing up and getting beat comfortable. Their form is good at the Emirates. But their defending has been suspect all season. Might turn out to be (another) game full of goals. But it’s a certainty that if we play openly, we might well suffer for our ambitions. There is no Modric to pull the strings and Defoe to pull the defence. And Lennon's absence is one that grates me although you can almost laugh at the irony that David Bentley has remembered what it means to be a bread and butter footballer, less than a week before another return to his former club.

But if we do suffer, then we have to make that despairing journey through the painful five stages of grief that we have come close to copyrighting so many times over the years.

Denial.

What the f*ck was that? I can't believe we are losing already? Come on you Spurs! Sort it out! We can do this lot! They’re just a bunch of kids!

Anger.

I can't believe we lost that. What happened to having a game plan? Tactics? Picked the wrong players in midfield and the wing play was shocking. No balance or purpose. Hit and hope. Harry is a joke. Cost us three points. How the fuck am I meant to got to work on Monday after this shambolic display? Top 4? No chance.

Bargaining.

Could have been different if we hassled them more, applied a bit of pressure and got the ball to Crouch on the deck rather than hoofing it. Thin line between defeat and victory. If that shot had gone in, it would have been a different game.

Depression.

What is the point of it all? We just can beat Top 4 clubs away. I'm sick of expecting anything different. I'm not going to watch Match of the Day.

Acceptance.

Fuck it. Who we got next week? Come on you Spurs! Top 4? Yeah, of course we can do it we only have to play Arsenal, Utd, Liverpool and Chelsea in total, 8 games. That's 24 points. But they've got to play each other and we can make up the points in other games. Top 4 here we come!

 

Been here a few times, haven't we? You have to earn the bragging rights rather than simply expect them to fall onto your laps. We have work to do come Saturday. This is not going to be an easy afternoon. And far too many times in the past we've fallen short. Choked. This is as good a chance as ever to get something out of the game.

We are not fighting for our lives, like we were when Harry took over. Instead, rather than damage limitation, we have to be looking for something more this time round. Which is why there's no point in being negative. Forget the 5 stages. Forget the ready-made excuses. Smile. Have faith.

Our players need to still go there and fight for every ball like their lives depend on it. The difference is we are now a balanced team and have more confidence than we've had in a long time. We have taken knocks this season and have bounced back. And on occasions done so when expected to falter.

It's about being fearless but also (yes, its a contradiction) fearing the consequence of failure. If you're scared or respect the opposing team too much, then forget it. If you're scared to ask the questions and take the game to them, then forget it. But if you fear the bitter taste that disappointment drowns you in when defeated, then take that fear and use it to inspire you with all your God-given will to avoid experiencing anything other than a win.

So what if we have a couple of missing warriors?

As long as the players do us proud, right? Although doing us proud is only half of it. We don't want to be losing gracefully either.

In a nutshell?

It's about time we stuck it up their bollocks and planted a white and blue flag in the middle of their back garden. Too often it's them sliding on our lawn and posturing arrogantly as we slowly close the curtains.

No more knock-down ginger. No more shouting from our own doorstep about what we'll do to them next time. Get in their face and then get in their face some more. And when they think you're not going to do anything other than stare them out…, goad them, knowing you've got someone round the back burning down their rose bush.

Be sly. Be tricky. Be expressive but not beyond your means. Be mentally strong. Be confident. Believe.

We need to go there with intent and passion, tied up to a master plan. A strategy. It's going to be won in midfield. But defending will be key as it's the type of game where mistakes will be punished ruthlessly.

They have key players starting. We don't. Let's not try to out play them pound-for-pound. Palacios will have to bite their ankles. Huddlestone's passing will have to be immaculate. Crouch will have to torment them with his tallness (he likes doing that) and we'll have to be clever with how we get the ball to him (try feet more than head). Both him and Keane will also have to be clinical. Hear that Keano? Get a one on one? Bury it. And Bentley will have to produce the goods from set-pieces and crosses. No Azza hugging the touchline and cutting in. Bentley will have to imagine roof tops and skips to focus on striking down the enemy.

Our defence will have to be heroic and completely disciplined as a working unit. Supporting and protecting each other. And if King starts, we are in with a chance of containing them. Woodgate? I'll be more than happy to see him back there too - but Daws can also do a job for us. Much the same Bassong.  And we all know JJ loves a NLD. Step up, step up...

Every player selected will need to make up for the missing quality with determination and steel. Had Moddle been available then this write-up would have taken a completely different slant on proceedings.

Arsenal will want to give their fans what they lust for and will turn the tempo up, which means short quick passing. It might be another frantic 90 minutes. Arshavin has already gobbed off about doing us over and our Robbie has done the same. Not that I care too much about it now. Ok, so Robbie is 'bigging' us up. But if you've cared to notice, most Arsenal fans have laughed not just at Keane's comments but also at any suggestion Spurs pose any type of threat at all. Even though we are some way off the Sky Sports Top 4, the gap continues to shrink with each passing season and regardless what any gooner cares to believe, they are not half the team they were 4/5 years ago. If anything, they have stagnated and we've improved. They are still (wash you mouth out son) a very decent side. And that's all we need to concern ourselves with. AA is going to be the one to watch when they push forward. We'll have to make sure he is given as little time as possible on the ball.

It's going to be tasty. They will want to make up for last seasons 4-4. We will want to move on from those plucky memories and produce something more befitting of our progress since that fateful day.

This is it people. Derby day. Hairs on back of neck dancing a merry tune.

And don't be leaving the ground until the final whistle. Slow-clap. Sing up. COYS.

You know I can't smile without you

I can't smile without you

I can't laugh and I can't sing

I'm findin' it hard to do anything...

If you're going to the game, look out for a free newspaper that will be handed out around the ground to both Spurs and Arsenal fans. TwoHalves is a 16 page, fan-made newspaper of professional quality giving the informed fan's perspective on the North London derby giving readers two different insider perspectives on the game. The paper can be read two ways depending on your allegiance: one way up it's packed full of Spurs news and articles; flip it over and it's got everything a Gooner might want to read ahead of the game.

 

I'll be including a PDF of the paper on this blog after the game (or earlier if allowed). One or two familiar bloggers have written for it (including myself) so I guess the pdf will be all over blogland soon enough.

My article is about Ledley King.

Caption Competition: Spurs v Chelsea

"Hey Didier, thought you should know, the game ended 10 minutes ago"