Who the hell does Joe Cole think he is?

Who the hell does Joe Cole think he is? Not only has he rejected his father figure and original mentor (Harry) and a chance to remain within the pinnacle of civilisation (London, obviously) with a critical role in a side that has qualified for the Champions League qualifiers, he's chosen instead a mid-table club on the slide, living off the past, where he will earn untold thousands per week to prance about in front of held-up scarfs and humourous red banners. Gutless for him to select guaranteed first team football at a smaller club than fighting for his place and overcoming squad rotation at the superior one.

What a mercenary, selecting the option of more money and a far more comfortable ride. These modern day players with their agents and their long term contracts and lack of ambition. Obviously knows he has little self-confidence, hunger and focus for the Champions League and prefers the less pressurised arena of the Europa League.

Cole obviously harbours dreams of dicking us (and his family of Spurs supporting fanatics) in said competition when we crash out of the CL and face the might of Anfield. Marquee signing for Liverpool. Torres, Mascherano or Gerrard and Cole...fourmid(t)able.

But don't fret, we have goal-keeping cover with Pletikosa on its way.

Dark days for THFC. We are down to the bare bones now with only Modric, Bale and Kranjcar vying for the left hand midfield position. We might even have to experiment again with Lennon there.

RIP, The dream is over.

Let's all pray we succeed in signing Craig Bellamy. I can't be having two knock-backs in the space of a week.

All this is allegedly:

Arsenal offered 80k - 2 year deal.
Spurs offered 65k - 3 year deal.
West Ham offered 100k per week - 3 year deal.
Liverpool signed him on 90k - 4 year deal.

Although there is a whisper that the Liverpool deal Cole accepted was 110k per week and £8M signing on fee.

MONEY GRABBER !!!111

WHERE WAS THE GUARANTEED FIRST TEAM FOOTBALL AND WAGE-STRUCTURE-DESTROYING WEEKLY WAGE OFFER?

First Duff, then Petrov...heads will roll at Spurs HQ. Never rated Cole anyways. One trick pony.

Anyone know a decent tattoo laser removal service?

Who's gonna be our next signing?

So having signed Crouch, we are back again sitting in the cushioned seat of patience as we await the next decision from Levy and Redknapp in this rather understated transfer market, where everything moves around in slo-mo. But unlike The Matrix, it lacks any real explosive punch. At least at the minute it does.

Negredo (remember that one?) is now being linked with a move to Liverpool as part of the possible (probable) transfer of Alonso to the White Storm. But don’t fret, because Harry is spewing out his favourite sound-bite of the moment (if he’s available we’re interested) relating to one of our other perpetual summer transfer targets, the prolific Klaas-Jan Huntelaar.  He won’t be moving to Germany but considering how long we’ve allegedly spent flirting with this player via the tabloid pages, you sort of half expect Arsenal to glide in and stick if up our Arshavin, much like they did with Zenit’s gem last time out. Although we had washed our hands of that little annoyance long before the scum showed interest and up until this morning we thought the same about KJH – that his wage demands stopped any potential deal from happening.

Bent may as well have gone to China, because he is no nearer joining anyone at the moment. Brilliant strategy from Levy by the way. No, I’m not being sarcastic. He knows we spent £16M on the player and he knows there are several clubs that need a proven Prem scorer (something Bent is, if not something we need as accommodating his weaknesses is detrimental to the way we play). But other clubs will probably aim to play to his strengths, and he’ll score a bundle for them in doing so. Sunderland, Hull and I think even Stoke are sniffing around. Sunderland in particular have had their nose snorting all over Bent for the best part of the summer. And Levy simply won’t accept anything below what he wants, which is possibly around £15M. Which is why Sunderland are still snorting, inviting others to inquire. Brilliant. As long as we actually accept a bid at some point soon. Otherwise my sarcasm will drown the streets of N17, leaving Daniel with only the head of Chirpy to keep afloat above the turbulent sea of disgust.

Bent is off no matter what, but the fact we are looking at KJH suggests either Keane or Pav could be sold on if the right offer is made. Pav is once more linked to Roma. And Keane is being linked to nobody in particular. At a stretch, Aston Villa might look our way. You never know what might happen, even if Harry talks up the current ‘four’ (Defoe, Crouch, Pav, Keane) as being more than enough for him - he'll always look to mix things up. If it's right for the team.

As for Mr Vieira, make what you will of Henry shaking his head and saying no when cornered by Harry and Jamie the other day at Wembley. Apparently he has since come out to state he would never tell Vieira to sign for us. Sounds like he’s more pro-Spurs than he’d like to believe. Thanks for looking after us. In the past few days the stories in the press now suggest that it’s Arsenal who want him to return on a pay-as-you-play deal. Cue some Spurs fans, no doubt, suggesting ‘if he’s good enough to go there, then he’s good enough for us’.

Don't try to justify it.

It’s a desperate move for all involved. Let’s please look elsewhere.

And we can start by looking for cover for Woodgate/King/Dawson. Possibly a young player with potential (do they exist?) who can not only cover but one day replace the mighty King. I know, it’s unlikely we’ll sign someone anywhere near potentially as good as Ledley, but with him still only able to play a game per week and with Woody and Daws out injured – we can do with a CB. Turner at Hull wouldn’t be too bad a deal for us. Bassong is another target that returns into the transfer rota every month, and once more he’s been linked - thanks to our scout being spotted at the Newcastle v Leeds game last night. A game where a certain Leeds youngster (Delp) starred.

One area that has gone back into its state of hibernation is the left-wing conundrum. For now, it would appear that Modric will remain out on the left, drifting in. Thanks largely to the fact that Downing was the last available left-winger on the face of the planet.

I’m gonna stick £5 on Delp being the next Spurs signing. Beyond that, I haven’t a jiffy.

Rejoice, rejoice...the bullet has been dodged

Downing is joining Villa for £12M. You can't see me but I'm currently tap-dancing on my desk and typing this by way of a wireless keyboard. I'm getting a funny look from Watkins in accounts, but I don't care.

£12M is a lot of money for a player who is far from exciting and hardly overly exceptional at one particular thing. And we've over-spent far too many times in the past to have our fingers burnt again. Yes, he is a committed professional who offers a bit of width, more than decent passing ability and has a wealth of Premier League experience. I guess he's a consistent performer lacking the sexy gene. He'll do the job you ask of him, which is the reason why Martin O'Neill has parted with the money he has.

So am I right to dance on the table and wave my elephant at straight-laced Watkins?

David Bentley was a quintessential big money hyped signing, one that we complete very often and with relative ease. Player of the moment becomes a player at Spurs. Downing has been the perpetual solution to our left-side problem for an absolute age. We've gone in there several times with bids, even been accused of tapping up the player. We've shown interest time and time again, if you believe what you read - and in this case, it's believable. Now Downing might not be box office but he's much hyped, which polarises opinions as some can't see what it is he has that warrants all the interest.

Simple fact of the matter, when it came down to it we didn't place a bid. Boro, relegated. Boro, willing to listen to offers. Boro, giving the green light to Spurs. And we chose to turn our heads, possibly looking towards Aston Villa for the brand new solution. Which ironically is where Downing will end up.

As much maligned as he is, he will do a good honest job for MoN - and he might have done a reasonable job for us.

I'm sat back down now. Apparently I have a surprise HR meeting momentarily, so let me wrap this up as quickly as possible. Downing would have given us something we haven't had since Ginola. A left-winger, be it not one of the swashbuckling ilk that we do love down at the Lane. But still. An out-and-out left sided crosser of the ball.

We didn't go for him, which means one of the following:

1) We have another left-wing target. Whether its Young and whether Villa are going to let Ashley go considering that Downing is out injured until October (I think, feel free to correct me) is possibly unlikely. Also, the assumption is being made that just because they now have two left-wingers its one too many. Remind yourself of Villa's collapse last term. With two strong wingers for the left-hand side and Milner covering the right - O'Neill has depth in squad. The counter-argument is that having two England internationals fighting for one place in the lead up to a World Cup isn't great for either player.

If it's not Young we want, I have no idea what the other left-sided option is. Which might mean...

2) Luka Modric will remain on the left-hand side, drifting in and orchestrating play to his liking as he dinks into centre-mid just behind the forwards. I know there is a call to play him in the middle alongside General Wilson. I'll like him there too. But this particular conundrum will remain unknown until we make a signing that relates to the left-side or central midfield. Until a significant signing is made, we will be left in the dark. Ooh pun.

3) There's always Gareth Bale for the left-wing. Jinx and confidence/injury issues aside - once he has recovered from his operation, he has to be re-introduced into first team duties with gentle handling. The kid has talent and bags of potential. That's no sound-bite. He has the qualities to do well for us and deserves our support in way of development. The reason we almost ruined him is thanks largely to throwing him into a crap side with zero self-respect, leading to the infamous 2 points 8 games debacle. Fact that Bale is also out for a while does have me questioning this option, because it would mean that Moddle remains on the left-hand side.


It's all a bit confusing now. For this to happen that has to go there and this has to move here and he has to do that and blah blah blah.

I guess, in conclusion (my boss just had words with security who are now walking towards me with menace) we haven't gone ahead and done something that everyone would have expected us to do. Which to me is bucking the trend. No need to rush in. We are aiming to sign a player we want and want 100% and not a % less.

It's all about what style and tactic Harry has in mind, and the club should aim to have the right players for the start of the season based on his strategic ethos.

Harry does have one, right?

I'll take a punt and say: Spurs bid for Young - will be a headline in the next 5 days.

One last comment. Watkins is a jobsworth.

The Magnificent Moddle: The little man on the left

Deconstructing the Tottenham midfield conundrum - Part VI

Magic Mullet

So here we are, at journeys end. Although it's more of a beginning than a conclusion as the Spurs midfield is bound to go through another change or two cometh the summer months and the usual giddy transfer shenanigans that we never seem to go without. No knee-jerking please Mr Levy.

From Part 1 through to Part V - I looked at the current set of central midfielders at the club and attempted to dissect the conundrum: Who should sit in the middle?

Palacios is the only 100% certainty. Jenas the current preferred choice alongside him. Which leaves Zokora, Huddlestone and O'Hara on the bench. Taarabt, on loan at Q.P.R., is a player who I would like to see ahead of all the three just mentioned in a creative capacity from next season.

So Palacios remains the anchor in midfield. The player tasked to do the dirty work, get the tackles in, protect the back four and allow other players the freedom of expression. He gives us some much needed breathing space and confidence in that other players don't have to worry too much if they happen to lose the ball in an offensive position as Wilson will be there to fix it. A defensive/holding midfielder is one that's been lacking for a while. Zokora simply doesn't excel in the acquired abilities needed to boss the midfield. Great athlete, limp footballing brain. Wilson does not have the passing range of a Carrick, but although both have similar responsibilities - both go about their business with completely different methods. In fact, they are nothing alike. But either system works. I will try to avoid going over old ground, so feel free to read up on the previous parts for a more detailed analysis on specific players and their attributes.

What has to be asked is who gets paired up with Wilson in central midfield? It's a simple answer to the final question of this series, but one with some minor complications. Here's why the conundrum isn't quite solved just yet:

We do not have an out-and-out left-winger.

We haven't had one for an age. Ironic that we've struggled to sign players for these two key positions (DM being the other) or simply got it wrong with the players we did sign. We've failed to find the right player for the left. And then we go out and buy a right player (David Bentley for £15M ) when we've already got Aaron Lennon - plain ridiculous - more so when Aaron retained his right-wing place and Bentley was slotted out on the left - which didn't help his already fragile confidence. Only Spurs, eh?

So with Wilson in the middle, with the players available, the best option (which Harry finds agreeable) is to have Jermaine Jenas partner him and play Luka Modric on the left.

I've not discussed Modric in detail yet during the course of this series. Best to leave the jewel of the crown till the end, and as we're at the end, here goes...

Modric, ideally, would prefer to play in the middle of the park with Palacios. It's a more natural position for him to be central. Add to the mix a defensive/offensive combination with Lennon out on the right and XXXXX (please God, not Downing) on the left and the balance would be unquestionable in comparison to some of the sides we've put out over the past couple of seasons. But as we do not have a left-winger, and we can't say for sure if we will be purchasing one (although if Boro go down, expect IT to happen) the logical option would be to have Modric out on the left-hand side. He is more than capable there.

What this does is change is the dynamic of the midfield in comparison to how it would work if Modric was in the middle of the park with Wilson - which is what most want to see. Having Jenas out on the left as an alternative? Hush. So the dynamics? Let me explain...

Palacios remains the anchor, but having Jenas in the middle gives us a player with an abundance of energy who can run box to box and defend and attack. It's almost a ying to a yang. One player inhales (Wilson) the other exhales (JJ). The role of Jenas is adaptable depending on the tempo of the game. In an ideal world its perfect, but we know that Jenas is erratic and lacks self-belief to turn potential to product. But for now - out of all the options we have for that position, its best to have JJ there.

The other options, you'd shrug at in a second.

Zokora in the middle with Palacios? That would be like having a litter-bug following a road-sweeper around.
Huddlestone? Wilson would need to clone himself to help compensate for Toms weaknesses.
O'Hara? Nope. Decent late sub for a couple of positions, but not an option alongside Wilson.

So, Jenas it is. Which means Modric - who isn't a natural left-winger - can (still) play on the left but with the twist of drifting in and dictating play. Jenas, adapting to the game at hand, will work with Palacios to make sure the midfield is protected and the opposition hassled while Modric drifts in and does what he does best. Play incisive balls, create and orchestrate. At times this requires JJ to be instinctive in his responsibility for the team. Allow me to place my fantasy-hat on my head. Now, take JJ out of the equation and imagine Essien alongside Palacios. Or Gerrard. Imagine the difference and impact this would have? Fantasy-hat off, the reality is somewhat rooted to the ground rather than floating up in the sky. JJ is neither one or the other but on form, he has enough about him to cover the ground and participate rather than be a passenger. He has a chance to really shine now, before the summer arrives and decisions are made. For now he is the best player we have who can support Wilson in the current midfield set-up.

What does this mean for the team, and in particular Luka? In essence, Palacios and Jenas are there to make sure Modric has the freedom to play football. It's a pretty simplistic viewpoint I know. A generalisation based on the fact that Luka is out on the left and has far too much talent to be stuck there - and the emphasis has to be to get the little Croatian involved as much as possible, on his terms. If the middle two do their job well, then it will snow rainbows. If it doesn't, expect a heavy downpour of misery. Which is why Jenas is perceived as the weak link. Stronger player, and we wouldn't worry so much,

If Jenas excels, maybe we won't look to change the system and purchase a left-winger. Maybe drifting in from the left will suit Luka in the long run. But its doubtful. The little man can handle himself just fine so sitting in the middle of the park and getting stuck in won't be too much of an issue for him. He took time to adjust to the English game, not helped by our woeful form and lack of structure. And he'll improve further in a consistent winning side (something Harry has began to flirt with in recent games). A base of operations is far more prominent from the centre than out on the wing. Although it's in no way a disadvantage. It's not quite a free-role in the purest sense of the term, but it's tricky for the opposition to mark a player who darts and dinks inwards.

Modric is showing glimpses of form that warms the cockles. A little bit of Ossie, a little bit of Hoddle. In truth its just a little bit of flair and creative output we love down at the Lane. It's an imperative ingredient for any team that displays comfort when unlocking the oppositions defence. Luka has a skeleton key.

Berbatov gave us that something special before he moved to pastures new to look after orphaned squirrels, and Keane can provide sparks - but we have needed a constant pipeline of passing for some time and in Luka we have that. Whether its down the middle or on the left-hand side - he can provide the magic.

Luka has vision, great touch, superb passing ability and can score the odd goal (not enough, but I expect him to hit the back of the net more often from next season). All the 'he's too weak for the Prem' nonsense was exactly that. He has fight in him. Might not look like he does, but he does.

Obviously the problem we might have is when Modric or Palacios or the both of them do not play. Which is why it's important that Adel Taarabt's development is made a priority. Harry called him a genius, and I'm holding out he was talking about football and not a reference to comedy. Zokora and O'Hara will have to do in any possible absence of Wilson from the starting line-up. Bostock is a couple of seasons away from the first team (at a guess).

So as things stand - Wilson and Luka are dead certs for the starting eleven. Jenas third in line. Three 'central' midfielders then. And Lennon guaranteed the freedom of the right-side of midfield (where this leaves Bentley, other than sitting on the bench, is up for debate).

The Fab Four. Modric Palacios Jenas Lennon.

Might seem unbalanced but its far from being so. It's not perfect, but it works. It works because the players play for each other. Everyone has a responsibility. It's a unit.

What happens next is dependent on who slaps in a transfer request in the summer and what we do to replace them? We have some useful kids in the academy and reserves. Do some of them get promoted early? Or do we look for more experienced players to come in to play back-up? We'd need to, if say Huddlestone and Zokora go. Jenas might walk if we draft in another central midfielder. And if that happens, then Luka and leftism will have to rule supreme.

Whatever Harry decides it has to be strategic, tactical. It has to either provide depth to the squad or improve the midfield. We have a tradition of just buying players without a thought-process behind what that player will do to the equilibrium of the side. Just to reiterate, the only two positions that should be considered for evaluation is where Modric and Jenas play.

Either both stay where they are and we sign squad players or we shift Modric into the middle and purchase ourselves a left-winger. Or we keep Luka on the left and buy us a more complete and established all-round central midfielder to partner Palacios.

So the conundrum has evolved a little, but remains with us. The question that now requires answering is simply.............Do we need a left-winger?

The Magnificent Seven - Part I

The Curious Case of Jermaine Jenas - Part II

The Incredible Huddlestone - Part III

Palacios answers the question: "Yes he can" - Part IV

The Lilywhites on the outside looking in - Part V