Roman's Never-Ending Story

It's international break which means it's time for yet another episode in the long running snooze-fest that is Roman Pavlychenkos statuesque escape from White Hart Lane. Roman usually doesn't have a speaking part, with his agent left to do all the on-screen talking. But as we near the finale, he appears to have stepped up, giving us a virtuoso performance full of determination and intent.

"I want to leave the club. It is impossible to remain there under the circumstance I find myself in. I have been sitting on the subs' bench for half a year and as a result lost a place in the starting 11 of the national team. And now hopefully we will get to the World Cup - who will rely on a forward who does not play? I want to play and not just warm the bench. Immediately after the games with Slovenia, my agent and I are flying to London for purposeful negotiations and I want to take part in them personally…"

And so forth. It's a little bit Brando in Apocalypse Now.

There's no doubt this series has been a disappointment. No major twists, no big surprises. Just the same drawn-out sub plot that neither excites the viewer or leaves them drooling in anticipation for more. And the reason is oh so painfully obvious. The supposed main supporting cast member (our Roman) has been relegated to nothing more than an extra. Background fluff that has resulted in nothing much in the way of screen time so that we can perhaps find out more about him. The cameos are obviously not enough, and having him appear every now and again has never proved to be a fruitful exercise. The viewers haven't seen enough to want more and rest have seen enough to not care for more.

Some might argue that we are seeing is reminiscent of the infamous canned show which starred the Ukrainian forward Sergei Rebrov. That particular series was left to stagnate whilst everyone waited for improvement that was never forthcoming. A spin-off series where he found himself lost on an island made of Lego surrounded by incomprehensible hostiles was equally weak in narrative.

It's simply not been right from the off. If he's signed for £14M and is apparently out of sorts at the start of his contract and then hardly given a chance to make amends a summer later, then he is bound to look lacklustre when he is given a rare opportunity to shine. It's a catch 22 and a stronger player might have perhaps taken those opportunities and done more with them. Then again, if it's decided to bring back a former star and offer him a bumper package that includes a starring role in every single episode - then I guess you'd be more demoralised to see someone who is obviously more out of sorts than you, get preferential treatment.

Controversial stuff.

Fact is, those same signs of mediocrity are still there to be seen. The lad should never have left Russian television in the first place.

Money, money, money...

Financial results are out. And by the looks of it the caviar and champagne will continue to be digested by our commander and chief while the people of the land happily feast on the footballing steak dished out by head chef Harry. Well done.

The figures?

• Revenue remains high at £113.0M
• Player trading profit of £56.5M
• £119.3M spent on player acquisitions in financial year
• Group net assets increased to £62.1M from £42.6M at prior year end
• Planning application submitted for the Northumberland Development Project, our new stadium and related scheme
• £61.0M committed on property transactions in and around current stadium over the past six years
• Works started on new Training Centre for the First Team and Academy at Bulls Cross in Enfield

Pdf here: http://www.tottenhamhotspur.com/uploads/assets/docstore/financial_results_nov09.pdf

We are also the second highest spenders (cue more 'spend money, never win anything' taunts) but at least we are turning profit, even if it's not as hefty as suggested about. I doubt we have much in the way to spend come Jan and will need to rely on selling-off unwanted assets (Pav, Bentley…) to raise the cash for a DM (Sandro) and a brand spanking new centre-back (£10M on Upson? No thanks).

I'm not going to pretend to understand the accountancy involved. It's way above my head (number-crunching was never my strong point) but plagiarising some of the more savvy members of GG, it appears that the profit cited above (that's the money made from the club selling players) is not as clear cut as you would assume simply by accepting that the £56.5M is straight-forward cash in the bank monies.

The profit - depending on the length of the contract tied to the amortisation costs - is largely accounting profit which means it attracts taxation. By selling our best players (Berbatov, Keane - stop laughing) the taxation bill simply bloats out further (this year reaching £10.2M). The taxman is the only winner here.

We seemed to have profited only because the players sold (most of them) wanted out - rather than us looking to remain in the black by selling our best assets. Also, to further prove the complexities of the financial side of football transfers, if you took the figures released by Spurs and attempted to work out what we paid for players signed and what we got for players sold you'd probably find they don't quite add up. In other words, don't take what you read in the press for granted. Sometimes the total fee is reported. Sometimes the realised profit is reported. I'll quote the following example to further explain this (and confuse):

If Darren Bent was bought for £16 million on a 4 year contract - the club would amortise his contract at a rate of £4 million per year.  Bent moved to Sunderland after being at Spurs for two years 2 years.  If he was sold for £16 million then this would represent a profit of £8 million on his current asset value.

Where it gets further muddy for me is the fact that most modern day transfers are deals paid over instalments, which will no doubt journey through one tax year into the next which means this can also account for discrepancies between the reported official figures and the account work.

If any readers know your stuff where this is concerned, I'd appreciate a break-down of the figures for us simpletons.

More dizzying figures? We made an operating profit (before football trading) of £24.1M. This taking into account the various payments/settlements to the likes of Ramos/Poyet and the money forked out to Pompey.

Conclusion?

We are healthy. But in no way a threat to the likes of Chelsea or City cometh the next transfer window.

We are not a selling club - a suggestion often mouthed off. We sell if the player strops and wants to leave. That's a bit different to buying players to sell on for profit (although once upon a time, Levy believed in a 'buy young, buy British' policy). We make money as a 'business' before any player outgoings are taken into account. If loyalty existed and the lure of building a side was more attractive than jumping ship to an alread-made CL club, then we would probably only sell players we did not consider good enough. Fantasy football.

We are (apparently) the richest club never to have played in the Champions League (if we gatecrashed it, we'd be positively choking on sterling). You get nothing for a profit margin. Not in this game.

We are profitable club, financial year in, financial year out.

All this with a 36,000 capacity ground. Although I expect we might be negative come next report thanks to the money spent on the new players. Time to cash in on England stars, JJ and Hudd?

Roll on White Hart Lane II. In the mean time, the only real profit we want to see is the kind that swaggers around on the pitch, achieving things that the fans find tangible and relevant (although one aids the other more than we can to mention).

Also, new sponsors for next season. Let's hope the colour red does not figure once again. Although don't be surprised to hear that old chestnut about how the colour red is part of our tradition because on a past club badge there was a red...

(thanks to the geeks over at GG for their math skills)

Fabio's gone too far this time

OUTRAGED fans blasted the England squad after Fabio Capello umm'd and ahh'd - and then decided to select Juddlestone for the England friendly against Brazil this weekend.

Hundreds of irate supporters bombarded radio, tv and tabloids with emails and calls attacking the loopy decision.

Mike Bayliss, 35, of  Southend said: "Fabio has ruined his own reign. It's Maradona syndrome. He's gone too far this time. Honestly, the skinny one out of the two reminds me of a deer with legs made of jelly caught in headlights. A jelly footed deer. Called Nancy. Soiling herself in the bright lights"

Carpenter Jim Williams, 44, of Manchester, added: "This proves the England team is no longer a footballing contest"

And nayimfromthehalfwayline emailed to say: "He's pretended to ignore the twins but has manipulated the public to now believe they are good enough for selection. I'll never watch England again."

Road sweeper David Dinner, 31, of London, said: "This is an outrage. The reason people tune into England games is to see Fabio lead us to victory with class and style - but he has totally undermined this."

Rebecca Jones, 29, of Newport, Wales, said: "There's no evidence of talent and to place them in amongst all the wealth of ability is a joke"

Richard Dingle, 29, London, said: "I have always admired and liked Fabio, but today I am disgusted with him, I cannot believe he hasn't selected Wilshire."

Juddlestone - The controversial twins backed by the England boss

Stephen Roberts, 22, of Ongar, Essex, added: "The fat one out of the two, he can hardly move. I can run around faster than him and I'm 18 stone"

Ronan Toor, 43, of Lewes, East Sussex, said: "Fabio has made himself look an idiot. He should have had the guts to ignore the terrible twins but instead has turned international football into a joke"

Jonathon Hust, 48, of Liverpool, said: "It's a disgrace. I know this Brazil friendly means nothing and there's no doubting that they are there just there to make up the numbers but there's plenty of others to select from with real talent…like Stephen Warnock. What? He's in the squad too? Sweet"

However, some fans did back Fabio's decision. DBTheTruth tweeted: "Juddlestone DO deserve to be selected, and booing from the fans and the hatred they're getting is just appalling! I for one am looking forward to those pin-point accurate balls to feet"

Chris Barber, 32, Birmingham, said: "Huddlestone does well when he's pinging balls to players who are willing to run into space and struggles in congested games made up of short fast passing movements. He'd do fine for England. No real need to run around and plenty of time on the ball. Everyone knows international football is a step down from the Premier League. The other one? He's a bit like that Andrew Ridgeley from Wham. He's there. You can see him. He appears to have the tools to do the job, but you can't quite figure out what the hell he's meant to be doing, standing there with a blank expression looking lost as people around him do all the work"


Read more: http://glory-glory.co.uk/forums/1/756618/ShowThread.asp

@DBTheTruth The beachball would have scored

Irony and football. It's majestic at times, more so when your team is the one blessed with it's touch.

Darren Bent

Most were concerned and playfully joked about how he would return to haunt us. You could see it happening. Bent, sways past King to thrash the ball past a despairing Gomes as he sprints towards the Sunderland fans, Blackberry in hand, tweeting 'Sandra would never have scored that one'. Except football sometimes doesn't go according to the obvious script. It prefers instead to take care of the ones that are meant to be the bad guys. Us. Almost like poetry, Gomes saved a flaky penalty from Darren. I'm still undecided about the first penalty appeal in the first half, but the one that was given in the second was the type that no blame could be pinned on the ref for giving it. He doesn't have the luxury of action-replays. Bent allowed gravity to pull him down before Gomes went for the ball. It was a con. And such is life. That not only did Benty do a naughty thing but that he then proceeded to shag it all up. That's why we sold you indeed.

Sunderland

I thought were superb. And if there was any evidence that Tottenham's transfer policy is at times an embarrassment, look no further then Steed Malbranque. Class act that gives it 100%. I still can not fathom why we sold him. Andy Reid, who I can live without, was also impressive (lovely shot that had the woodwork saving us). Without sounding condescending, I don't think Sunderland can improve much more. They're a tidy outfit who will do well enough. What the game illustrated was that we can't afford to grind out results all the time - which is something we've done for a number of games since beating Hull 5-1 away. More on that in a second. First, Steve Bruce. Shut up with your complaining. All this 'Gomes would not have saved the penalty if he had been red-carded' ranting is just plain silly had Bent not forgotten to put on his anti-gravity boots. Fact is, penalty aside, they failed to get one past our enigma between the sticks. We on the other hand, as poor as we were, did. Twice.

4-3-3

Scrap it Harry. It simple doesn't work. And with Wilson Palacios still struggling with form, we can't keep on restricting ourselves in this manner because you persist in playing Robbie Keane. Four in midfield, two upfront. Let's get the basic foundation right for the 90 minutes ahead of us and changed it if we happen to be chasing a goal late on. We got over-run on Saturday. The change to a more traditional 442 and a late surge of confident play, saved us IMO.

Robbie Keane

Rumour going around is that he earned himself a cool £1M for Spurs not getting relegated (allegedly). If true, it's not his fault the club offered him the contract they did. If not, then it's further proof that people continue to be critical of him since his return by always bringing up his contract at every given moment. He's got a clause has Robbie. He can't be dropped if fit. You have to wonder whether we are missing something in his performance if he is selected based on form. In the past, I've stood up for him. He does get important goals and he does do a lot of work for the team that us common folk might not appreciate. But I'm hard pressed for examples at the moment.

Grinding our results

Someone over at a Spurs message board discussed how we are 'grinding out results' and that we are reliant on a flash of brilliance of a slice of good luck and that this is not the basis of a Top 4 challenge. I can't disagree in that we lack options when Modric and Lennon do not start and that Harry makes curious decisions at times with formation. There's no doubting that our bench is not as strong as we would have the likes of Keane make us believe. And if we continue to grind out the points our luck will eventually run out of steam. But then Modric is almost back. And this will galvanise the players and the fans. What Harry has to do is make sure we have not just cover (was Niko not meant for that?) but also the courage to play the best team for the occasion, even if it means sacrificing the unsacrificable. What's the point of Bentley exactly? Don't answer that.

Special Mentions

Special mentions to Hudd, Woody and Jenas - who along with Gomes all looked decent and held us together when it mattered. Tommy's goal was a corker, layed off wonderfully well by the returning Defoe who was a little on the quiet side - although Gordon would beg to differ. Corluka remains his sleep self. And General Wilson is more army cadet at the moment. Which is a massive concern considering the season is due to get tasty in the coming months when the top 4 or 5 start to pull away from the chasing pack. Harry needs to turn on the man-management charm and fix this problem. Quickly.

Ledley King

Not been offered a contract yet. You wonder if there's a reason behind that. I think that it's easy to start banging on about the decline of the great man because he has been rusty in the last few games he's played, but let's remember - top players who do not have dodgy knees lose form now and again. King is obviously suffering at the moment. Might be his knee is finally bringing him down, or he's just not on top of his game - not so much because of the injury but simply just because. For some of our fans to start doubting him is just the type of typical knee-jerking that grates me (sorry about the pun there, purely coincidently).

Still, we do need to start thinking about a long term plan. King, Woodgate...we need to know who will come in as replacements. If King's form continues to go south then perhaps it's time for me to re-evaluate my opinion on the subject. A changing back four can't be helping matters with regards to consistency.

Gomes

Won us all three points. Outstanding. Just outstanding. I love him. He can cock up once every 5 games if it means he plays like that for the rest (although I'd prefer if he didn't cock up at all).

The Media

Stoke survive an onslaught and nick all three points and are called magnificent. I don't expect us to be tagged with such superlatives, but let's look at the facts. We played poorly. We scored twice. We won. If that type of thing happens once it's luck - but if it happens more often then its a sign of a decent team. It's when it happens all the time that we can start to scratch our heads.

I'd say that sitting in 4th spot after 12 games on 22 points is pretty damn good considering. Harry has had us on the up since he joined. We've stuttered a few games recently but rather than just cave in and free-fall, we've dug in again. I guess I'm happy for everyone to continue to down play our chances and write us off. Now if only our players would stop talking us up off the pitch and start doing their talking on it - we might climb out of the small ditch we've found ourselves in and start running up that hill again.

The Games Ahead

We need to find that intent and purpose about our game again. We have to thanks to the fixture list. Wigan at home should not be a game taken for granted. Three points is imperative there but more so is a good performance. Because we then go into games against Villa (A), Man Utd (A) (CC) and Everton (A). Then we're back at home again entertaining Wolves and then Man City. Blackburn and Fulham away is then followed by West Ham at home. Some tricky games in there. We need to reclaim that early season buzz and see ourselves through to the new year still hanging around in the upper regions of the table.

Hate to place all the responsibility on the little shoulders of Modric, but it looks like he remains the key for us to reclaim that rampant balance we lost when he broke his bone.

Keep on grinding out the results when necessary, but I prefer to have a firm grip on our own destiny by being the ones asking all the questions.

The truth will out at the Lane

Today we welcome back Darren Bent. And it's been nothing but Darren Bent we've had to listen to in the past few days. In fact all the attention has been on the return of the much-maligned-when-he-was-at-Spurs player, that I reckon I've missed Robbie Keane's latest warcry, lost somewhere between Twittering and how welcome Sunderland fans made Benty when he signed for them. Andy Reid has also been informing us about how he has nothing to prove to Spurs. It's been relatively quite in comparison to the last weekends build up. And I don't mind it a bit. Jenas might have muttered a few words about something and Harry still insists his wife would have scored the chance Darren missed, but other than that, this game seems to have sneaked up on me. It's going to be a mess if we lose to a group of ex-Lilywhites. Terrible time for Bent at Spurs according to the man himself. Let's make today an absolute nightmare for him.

Today, the talking has to take place on the pitch. I'm not going to go all ridiculous on you and tag this game as 'The Biggest Game In Our History' but in relative terms, it's going to be a tad depressing today if we lost all three points. Three successive defeats will pretty much equate to a massive loss of confidence and Harry needing to brush up on his man-management skills to bring us out of the lull and his first lickel potential crisis problem (with no Ramos to place the blame on).

In the next few weeks, we expect to see the return of Modric and the possibility of an almost practically fully fit squad. The Stoke defeat was just one of those things. The Arsenal defeat was a completely wasted North London derby. Sunderland are also in lower regions of the pretenders category, looking up at 4th spot and scratching their chin, pondering the possibility of challenging for that spot whilst Liverpool continue to lose themselves in their mini-crisis. City are stuttering subtly. Villa too. This game will go along way in showing us whether we do genuinely have the heart and mental strength to dig deep and pull ourselves back up again to something reminiscent of a month or so ago. We'll forget about the tactical limpness we've displayed against the 'Top 4' (other than the scousers) and just make sure we beat the clubs that consider themselves our 'equals' with regards to that push up to 5th/4th.

Lennon might be back today which means no more hoof and hope. Mainly because he'll be able to cross for Defoe - also back and hopefully eager and hungry to make up for his sillyness and suspension. He owes us something. So do our non-existent (last week) midfield. Palacios has not been refined in performance in recent games. He has to be on top of his game today because I doubt Sunderland are going to sit back. They will come at us. And that bloke we sold them (I'll let you guess which one I mean) will no doubt want to show everyone his weight in gold. He's already stated he plans to celebrate if he notches one. He has no qualms about doing so. He's moved on. And we need to be moving on up.

You know that blood and thunder that was missing against Arsenal? Just a slice of that will do us today. It's not just Wilson who has to bring it either. Whomever is standing by his side in the middle also has a responsibility. Three successive defeats will not look good. It will in no way spell the end of any ambitious challenge we have, because mathematically there's an age to go. But it may well hurt the players, and just prove that the fragility in the team (club) is still very much festering away. I'm not going to give up just yet. And neither should our players.

Let's avoid a Bent Twitter gloating session cometh this late evening.

Today is the day for redemption.

Terrible Norman still living in the Sky

I know I love to use irony in oh so subtle doses in my blog articles and on occasion some of you don't quite grasp the context of the point being made and react with a four letter word, slating me for being pessimistic or negative, screaming that I'm detrimental to all things Spurs and that I do more harm than good. And blah blah blah. You get the picture. Sometimes writing style or satire or opinions can be lost in translation because what's been written is a little raw and not that obvious at first glance.

I'm not here to appease every single Spurs fan because its nigh impossible thanks to the uniqueness of human kind and the countless levels of humour we possess (or don't). I write for my own sanity and hope that somewhere in the depths of these articles there is something that can stir emotion and discussion. I don't ever expect every single reader to be impressed or agree. Much like I may not bother to concern myself with the opinions of, lets say, one or two cultured folk who frequent the official Tottenham Hotspur message board. Because I can't possibly articulate to their Oracle-esque level of astuteness and insight.

Bloggers/blogs in general are an acquired taste. Much like people you hang around with. Friends. Or acquaintances at home or away games. You like some, you don't like others and some of them you hate and can't even fathom how you even support the same team. Football journalists are in essence bloggers that get paid full-time to write up their educated and respected opinions on the game for national newspapers and their on-line equivalent web-pages. Their writing is more refined. And more professional. And mostly short and concise. And has the safety net of an editor. It has to be because of the targeted audience and the fact that they need to appeal to a wide cross-section of people. Not everyone agrees with them and at times their bias might shine through. And on other occasions there's a far more obvious agenda to their piece. Much like anything in the written press. Much like anything anywhere. Including the blogosphere.

Now we know Tottenham get bad press most of the time, mainly because we are an easy target made easier by the people associated with the club mouthing off or mugging themselves off. And I don't ever expect to read anything pro-Spurs all of the time and there are moments when there is more than enough decent coverage of our never-boring existence. Other fans of other clubs will probably say the same thing about the press and their team. But Spurs tend to get the most negative coverage outside of the Top 4.

Sky are obsessed with just four clubs and we usually find ourselves in for more Mickey Mouse jokes and Keystone Cop mock-ups than we can handle compared to other teams who suffer similar fates. And when things do go right, they have to remain impartial. Although they tend to be clever here by overplaying and overstating the positives because they know it will be easier to write up a damning effort at a later date when we tumble back down.

And then there's Matthew Norman.

This morning, a work colleague walked up and muttered, "Have you read this?", passing me yesterdays edition of the Evening Standard and before he could turn to the page I answered yes. He was laughing, not so much at my expense (the article was a match review of the NLD) but more so at the content of the article, asking why they had allowed an Arsenal fan to take the piss out of Spurs so publicly and blatantly. He laughed even louder when I informed him that Norman is a Spurs fan and that it should be more than obvious to most that only a Spurs fan could take the piss out of Spurs in such a blunt self-deprecating fashion.

"That makes sense" he replied. Bless him, he's a gooner. And French. So some of the subtleties of the English media are still lost on him.

Norman is basically the quintessential representation of what other supporters believe Spurs fans to be most like. Miserable depressive melters, always complaining. He does however make some valid (if more than obvious) points about the game, but they are lost in the midst of some of the usual twaddle we come to expect from the esteemed members of the press.

Its as though Norman is trying so hard not to be biased (in our favour) towards us that he has lost himself at the other end of the spectrum. He hardly ever has a good thing to say about Tottenham (I'm not sure whether he did after our initial 100% start to the season or whether this harks back to the Levy/Standard incident, although his doom and gloom pre-dates that) so when things don't go to plan be certain he'll be there to point and laugh. Because he can. Because he's Spurs. And because we are obviously devoid of other supporters and media-people pointing and laughing at us. Until the club start playing 'Grande Marche Chromatique' at home games when the team trots out, Norman and friends will remain relentless.

He could have quite easily made all the points he needed to make without it sounding so arse-kissy. Or maybe he does hate us for the torture of failure the club have put him through over the years. Perhaps this is akin to a comedian taking the piss out of a certain type of person and being able to get away with it because he is of the same ilk. I have to be careful here because I could be called a hypocrite, mainly because my letters to the chairman are not too dissimilar in self-deprecation. There's a number of Spurs fans that went into melt-down over the weekend who were far more angry and upset. But Norman will be read by many. Angry Spurs fans on a message board by few in comparison.

Like I said, his opinions are valid. His delivery is questionable because of the arena it sits in. If I'm being blind to the fact that there are journalists out there who do the very same thing to their own team, then name names.

I know I'm not the only person who laughed out loud at his description of Huddlestone (an oak tree in central midfield) and lambasting Robbie Keane's pre-match fighting talk. But to dismiss all the progress we've made under Redknapp - unquestionable progress - well, this reeks of institutionalised hack-talk as though he was contractually obliged to always be on hand to slaughter us.

I'm not requesting Norman or anyone else for that matter write up something complimentary when there is nothing complementary to write. And I'm also fully aware that if he was a Chelsea or West Ham fan writing up articles of this manner about Spurs, then people would bemoan the blatant agenda. So what we have in Norman is the token eternal Spurs sufferer exaggerated tenfold who has been beaten down season upon season by transitional and false dawns. He would make a far better Spooky than me. But he ruins it all by appeasing to the consensus (sponsored by Sky Sports) and is left drowning in a sea of typical stereotypes. It's the way he conforms that blights him every single time.

The first gem:


Every win this season, apart from the increasingly devalued opener against Liverpool, have come against weak opposition, with all three away victories at bottom three clubs.


Does Andy Gray ghost write for Norman? So basically, the Liverpool win no longer matters because everyone is beating them, well, everyone apart from Manchester United. And our away wins, given to us by virtue of the Prem League fixture list computer, are not relevant because the opposition are considered unworthy and happen to find themselves bottom of the table, including West Ham who managed to secure a point against Arsenal, when we took all three off them (WH that is) when we visited Upton Park. Are we meant to only beat weak teams who are mid-table or above because the rest of them don't truly count?

Traditionally, we hardly ever have success away and get dicked over by weak opposition all the time. Yet this season, we've lost twice away - both at Top 4 clubs when we know the likelihood of that happening is fairly likely. But have faired more than decent since Harry's arrival and had the best away record going into Saturdays match.

In addition there is no mention (much like Andy Gray failed to do so) of Arsenal's opposition at the Emirates thus far this season: Pompey (20th), Wigan (12th), Blackburn (17th) and Birmingham (14th). But it would be blasphemous for anyone to point this out. I'm guessing the reason why we never do well in the league is because we never beat the weak teams, and when we do its not considered good enough because we still can't beat the strong teams. We beat Chelsea at home last season. But that doesn't mean anything if we don't follow it up with wins against the likes of West Ham or Hull. Something is definitely lost in translation. Because the suggestion is, Spurs are up in 5th place because we've flattered to deceive by defeating the shit teams that reside in the Prem therefore the fixture list has created another illusion that came to a sudden and final abrupt ending at the Emirates. Arsenal have lost to Man Utd away and Man City away and have beaten a host of shit teams at home. Including crappy Tottenham. So I guess they're also flattering to deceive too and their dream is soon to be over.

Perhaps the paradox is too much for the likes of Norman and we should resume acceptable service. Harry, I suggest two points every eight games will do the trick.

His second nugget concerns a curious nod towards Martin Jol's tenure at White Hart Lane.


This time there is no hotel chef to scapegoat, and the question posed by their lily-livered capitulation concerns not how far Tottenham have progressed under Redknapp, but how far they've regressed since the comparative glory days of Martin Jol.


2006 was special because the side ticked over consistently and arguably had it been for a more active Jan transfer window we would have had 4th spot wrapped up long before the last game of the season. But where exactly is the sense made by comparing Harry (who has only recently made it past 12 months) to Martin Jol? Considering that Jol's teams choked on so many occasions I'd say that it's a little premature to start comparisons. How on earth have we regressed exactly considering the mess the club was in under Ramos? And Ramos won us a Cup, but you'd be hard pressed to find anyone who rates his time at Spurs and even less people who would have him back. Our points accumulation thanks to Harry has been more than impressive. But who cares for stats when the lack of performance proves that it’s the same old Tottenham and the Top 4 monopoly remain completely uncontested once more. Which has the vast majority of Normans counterparts across the country wiping away the single drop of sweat that had hoped to begin a journey downwards across their forehead.

Perhaps in another parallel dimension where Prem games are live on terrestrial TV and Richard Keys has no hair, Spurs visited the Emirates last weekend with Modric, Lennon, Woodgate and Defoe in their line-up. Arsenal however had Fabregas, van Persie, Gallas and Arshavin all out through injury and suspension.

If we won we'd not actually read about it in the press the following day because Norman would probably spend the best part of the match review telling us how under-strength Arsenal were and how they were missing key players in key positions and that a side lacking the best forward and their main creative outlet along with their playmaker and seasoned centre-back stood no real chance. And that this one game, this collection of 90 minutes found within the blow of a whistle at both ends is not season defining nor conclusive or relevant to the past or future in the manner it is being depicted in.




Who am I kidding? He'd never find himself in that position. Probably because we'd still manage to lose the game. Altogether now...

doot doot doodle oodle OOT doot do do
doot doot doodle oodle oot doot do do
doot-doodle oot oot
doot-doodle oot oot
doodle-oodle-oodle-oodle-oodle-oodle doot doot...

A game of Two Halves...

Not that many will want to remember Saturday's drab NLD, but at least one good thing came out of it, even though only a small minority might have picked up a copy or know of it's existence. For your pleasure, linked below (in PDF format) are both halves of the free newspaper handed out pre-match at the Emirates. Not too shabby a collection of writers involved in this wee project. Both parts are worth a butchers. Hopefully, we'll see a 'second issue' in the return game at the Lane.

Two Halves - Spurs

Two Halves - Goons

Regarding my contribution. Yes, the irony is not lost on me. I jinxed Ledley King.

The Sky is falling in on us...

Perspective. MIA. Let's try and claw some back.

It's ok for the likes of Liverpool (that's Liverpool as in 'Top 4 Sky Sports Top 4' Liverpool) to have key players out and suffer for it and have the 'experts' talk about how their missing players are detrimental to the effort on the pitch, but its not ok for lickle Spurs to be missing 3+ key players? Because whether we have players out or not, when we lose, its cemented evidence that we are nothing more than pretenders.

I'm drying them as I type.

Not using this as an excuse because our general performance and body language was a joke v Arsenal and we deserved the drubbing we got, but let's not try to under-play the facts post-match. Even if its a tad hypocritical.

No midfield equates to wave upon wave of invited pressure that will surely end in tears. Which proved to be the case. It was Hackney Marshesque effort at best.

We know we do not have the same level of quality in key areas as certain other clubs possess. Our best first 11? That's altogether a different prospect, and we've yet to field them all at once this season. But that's neither here or there because most teams have injuries at any given time and do fine without a perfect starting eleven. But you can't ignore the fact that as well as we've played this season, there has been an oh so subtle decline since Modric got himself a broken bone. And it finally all caved in over the weekend.

I also don't agree that our bench is 'strong'. On paper it is, but the likes of Pav and Bentley are not exactly storming it form wise at the minute. Does that make us one-dimensional and single player-reliant? In some ways yes, but we are more then competitive against the majority of the Prem other than those pesky hard nuts at the top even when missing the likes of Defoe or Lennon or Modric. It's just that with them, we tick. Without them we might get tonked.

We don't have a complete squad to challenge for a Top 3 place. We all know that.

Go back 4/5 years and perhaps further back still and the top 4 were so far ahead of the chasing pack that it was akin to comparing the sexual prowess of a snail with Peter North (although granted the snail has far more personality). It was different gravy, in a different league. The power has shifted from Utd/Arsenal to Utd/Chelsea and may well shift again to Chelsea/Utd. But they are no longer in a galaxy far far away. Half a million light years at the very least.

The fact is - that massive massive gap is not so massive. Not if you look with your own eyes rather than a set belonging to one of the tabloids or our friends over at Sky. I'm under no illusions (delusions). Only Utd and Chelsea can seriously wish to win the league and Arsenal and Liverpool are always going to be outside challengers. But much like we and others below them hope for one of them to trip up, they too hope that either Utd or Chelsea hiccup. Nothing is therefore...impossible.

Dare I say the gap between Utd/Chelsea and Arsenal/Liverpool is as wide as the one between us and that 4th spot? Ooh matron. Note how I said '4th spot' rather than single out a particular team.

But that gap is sadly still wide enough for the likes of us to fall in when attempting to get across it. Serves us right always attempting to jump across in the hope we sprout wings. But unlike the past where there was no bridge, one is now under construction. No need for any Superman impersonations. Just patiently walk across it, aiding with the finishing touches to the path leading across to the other side.

We got it all wrong on Saturday, Arsenal never had to step up a gear. Anyone watching the coverage on Sky would think they dished out a master-class in total football. Once their giddy fans - who only ever show true emotion twice per season - come back down from their ketamine high they'll notice that the win was not half as impressive as they would wish it to be and nowhere near the devastation that Andy Gray and his drooling mouth would have us believe.

It was easy for them made easier by some textbook sleep-walking from our midfield and implosion from our abused defence. We had nothing on offer in the centre of the pitch. But let's not pretend slice bread was re-invented slap bang in the middle of the Emirates. Or that Spurs have regressed back to a side managed by Christian Gross. We got spanked for our lack of effort.

Before any gooners start gobbing off, don't think for a second I'm trying to deny you the glory. It's a NLD. No one would wish to write one-off or dismiss it's importance. You lot turned up for it. Our lot didn't. That grates me because I know deep down you'd have preferred to have contested an actual proper game of blood and thunder rather than the whimper you got. I'd rather lose with effort than without it. And don't think I wouldn't have us in your position either. Plenty of flair but lacking title winning discipline and desperately requiring the bulk of a Vieira in the middle (just not the Vieira who nowadays is more black and white tv than High Definition). I'd love it if we were the 3rd best side in the country. Hold onto that as tightly as possible. Mortality is within smelling distance. But you're fine for a CL spot to help out with those hefty loan repayments. And that's what its all about. Surviving relegation into the dreaded 5th spot. I wouldn't mind your problems at all.

And back to the NLD again. I mentioned two blogs ago about how I hoped we wouldn't fail to turn up. Oh the hilarity. I guess lacking mental strength is not a surprise considering its 60+ games since we won away at one of the nations untouchable Elitists. And quite possibly lost in all the fanfare that has proceeded the game are Harry Redknapp's comments that we can still grab a Top 4 place. He's dressing the facts up again a little (challenge is more like it rather than grabbing), but I completely agree with his sentiments. Why should we write off our chances? It's just a shame he got all the pre-match talk fuzzed.

The fallacy is simply this: We are not good enough to compete away from home against the seasoned CL teams. But unlike seasons past, that doesn't mean we are not good enough to compete for 4th. Contradiction? Yes. Well no. Apart from the Stoke upset, we are showing good form. It's been lacking something extra since Modric's injury but he along with others will be back shortly. Our form is nowhere near being tagged world class but then world class is not something that the Prem is a buzz with - other than the CL sides - and you don't need to have that quality in abundance to fight for fourth. At least not in the way others would have you believe.

Teams right at the top are susceptible to defeats, more so than the standard average deficit, which will make this season more open than the last. It's a trend that started up a few years back and it's continuing. And far too often (for Sky Sports liking), one of the untouchables shows signs of weakness. Obviously, you might argue that if they lose more, the teams outside the Top 4 will also lose as many. And in the end, it all levels out. Maybe. Perhaps. We'll see.

Villa, Everton, City of course and even Sunderland should be looking at that 4th spot then looking across to Liverpool and then rubbing their hands. Not that the Anfield team should be dismissed just yet. But once more I refer you back to the fallacy. Why should anyone outside the cartel not want to aim for it? Bit pointless if we don't. And I stand by comments from past weeks that we should be beating the rest rather than being obsessed with the best.

Another side note to all the knee-jerkers crying about our performance, lets remember - we are still up there. And if the previous 10 games had us crowing with hope, why the sudden doom and gloom? It's 90 minutes gone forever and there are 27 games left. Absolute melters all over the shop at the minute balling their eyes out over the apparent demise of Ledley King and how half the team should be sold on the back of 90 disappointing minutes. Yeah let's do it. Let's get rid of Palacios and try and get Zokora back. Because you know, on current form Wilson is apparently on the same headless chicken level that Zoko was. Baby Jesus is weeping again.

It was a bad day at the office. And I was probably not alone in wishing for some of that tenacity that Jamie O'Hara would have had in abundance for us had he played. Which more or less sums it all up.

And as for Mr Andy Gray. Is there a bigger tit on tv than this absolute douche-bag of a commentator? Him and Richard Keys, every Saturday and Sunday re-write reality as they purge anything that might upset the kings in their thrones by spouting ambiguous nonsense and daft propaganda.

Gray: "Lee Harvey Oswald is the lone gun man. There's no way there's a man on the grassy knoll interfering with play. Look, if I move the motorcade further forward at the precise moment the President is hit, you'll notice the trajectory is, well, it's impossible coming from this direction over here at Dealy Plaza. However, watch the movement of Kennedy. It's a nailed on shot from the school book depositary. It's a wonderful set-piece."

Keys: "Does he have the right to have a go from there?"

Gray: "Why not Richard? Why not? You have to take a risk in this game and he took it. Alone. And if I just show you it from this angle you'll notice what a cracking effort it was from that distance. I don't say it often but take a bow son, take a bow..."

Keys: "Zapruder might beg to differ"

Gray: (laughs) "He was in an off-side position and the Warren Commission agree with me"

Keys: "That's settled then"

Our away record (best in the Prem prior to Saturdays decimation) was dismissed by The Gray because we've only actually played one decent team away from home (Chelsea) and lost that. And yet the analytical logic presented in the debunking of Spurs was not applied when Arsenal's impressive home record was mentioned. You know, cause, Arsenal have had a really really tricky set of games at home thus far this season. Because beating the type of sides they beat at home isn't comparable to us beating sides of similar ilk away. Unless it's them playing away and them beating the same sides. And let's all forget about how defeats away against Utd and City don't matter any more because they've beaten the mighty mighty Spurs 3-0.

Football. Love it.

And I'm just fine supporting a pretender.