Adel

Arsenal fan on Taarabt:

I saw 18 year old Adel Taarabt for the first time as he came on for Spurs in the 2nd half of the game yesterday, and boy, did he look like a young Jay-Jay or Zizou.

The boy had the confidence to try things normal players wouldn't dream about, he had the swagger, bags of natural ability and looked the best baller on the park. He had the crowd buzzing whenever the ball came to him.

My only concern for him is that he came to England from France at such a young age. I fear that poor coaching and the 90 miles per hour stuff may ruin his game. The commentators were already condemning him for failing to play the simple pass on a few occasions. If this sort of thing carries on they will drive the fear of taking risks out of the boy and he will turn out like the other headless chickens that clutter midfields in the EPL.

Doesn't have the composure of Fabregas who seemed to have everything except a stubble at the age of 16 when he made his debut, but Adel has undisputed ability that needs to be nurtured.

He's not afraid to pick the ball up and run with it and has no problem with running in the opposite direction to help defend. He has an abundance of enthusiasm, is strong, great touch and ball skills and his passing isn't too bad either. Not afraid to shoot - but seems to do it too often. Which brings us onto his negatives which really only consist of selfishness and his shots need to actually hit the target when he fires them towards the goal.

Composure will come with experience. This kid could become a great. The worrying thing is, Tottenham and the ambiance we create at the club (joke) tends to overwhelm everyone, so God knows how an 18 year old kid is going to handle his progression, let alone how we plan to do so.

Fingers crossed we don't suffer another Blondel moment.

And the shit has hit the fan

A Bulgarian browsing a Spurs forum takes acclaim for this piece of newsworthy info:

Berbatov gave an interview to the Bulgarian New Television yesterday. On the question whether he is going to stay at Spurs he said: There are still 12 days till the transfer window closes. I do not exclude the possibility for moving to another club.

He didn't say the usual "I'm happy at Spurs". He looks as if something has happened during the summer. He may be disappointed with someone/something at Tottenham.

Let's see how long this little gem takes to hit the mainstream media. The above was posted on Glory-Glory.co.uk (where else?) at 4 hours ago.

The interview was broadcasted on New Television (Нова телевизия) in Bulgaria, The World of Sport (Спортен свят), at 14: 30 PM ( yesterday afternoon).

The name of the journalist who conducted the interview was Krum Savov (Крум Савов).

Now. This might be nothing more than made-up bollocks. It was posted on a forum so theres a 97% probability rating that its exactly that. But regardless, someone will see this and tell people who will in-turn tell a bunch of other people. And like a wildfire, it will spread. So, as I said, let's see if this makes it way to the back pages of the tabloid newspapers. And if it does - see how easy it is to push any information (true or false) into the public domain and therefore cause further dis-information and propaganda.

Yes, I see the irony in what I'm doing. But it serves a purpose to prove a point.

Dead Man Walking

Dead Man Walking - Guest Blog by 'The East Stander'

On Sky’s Sunday Supplement, various journalists (and I use that word loosely) debated the current state of Tottenham Hotspur. You can watch the video here:

http://www.skysports.com/story/0,19528,11096_2665571,00.html .

It’s Damien Comolli you idiots, not Daniel. And Martin Jol wasn’t brought to the club originally as a Director of Football either. Superb researching on display by England’s finest reporters. I’m not going to dispute any longer that Jol’s position at the club is on thin ice. Even though the journos from the above link were making assumptions based on rumours, the fact that people are discussing any of this means that it’s in the heads of Levy and Jol and pressure is then created from a situation where it might not have existed in the first place.

Jol gave his speech last season and gave credit to Levy. After the opening two defeats, people claiming to know people at the club began to spread rumours. Jol’s job was no longer safe. He and Levy did not see eye to eye. Comolli and Jol do not get on. Jol has not approved of several signings made (i.e. Zokora, Bent). Suddenly, it’s being suggested that the past two years have been achieved through a divided management team that do not get on.

Bookies stopped taking bets on Jol being sacked.

This (prior to the Derby game) appeared on a Spurs forum:

Right dont shoot the messenger but I’m just passing on what I’ve been told this morning by my friend...
He is helping out a lad today whose dad is very good mates with Chris Hughton...
He has said Jol and him are gone after the Derby game whatever happens..
Jol has said to the players he wants a win against derby, a wave goodbye to the crowd before being forced out, he wants to leave with his head held high...
It fits in with what is being said...
Id be gutted if he goes as I love him as a character and a personality, but I’ve been having doubts for a while now whether he has what it takes it get us challenging for the next level...
And was echoed across other forums that suggested that Jol was a dead man walking.

Of course, Spurs won 4-0. And the people who suggested Jol was gone backtracked, saying that Levy had not been able to draft in a replacement and that apparently he will get rid of the manager once we ‘the fans’ turn against him. The Favourite being Ramos of Seville who was apparently spotted with chief executive John Alexander and director Paul Kemsley. The Sunday Mirror had pictures (too low quality to print). Ramos denied the stories, but people would simply suggest ‘where there’s smoke there’s fire’.

There’s been no official word from Spurs. Of course any official word would probably constitute a ‘vote of confidence’ so they can’t win on that front.

But even though I would want to dismiss all stories as mis-truths, Jol appears to be fighting his corner:

“I always think of David Moyes and Everton,” Martin Jol, the Tottenham Hotspur manager, said. “He had a very good year, then the next year was horrendous, but nobody said anything. And now they have a good team and are challenging for the top six. So I just think, leave me be.”

“The board has never personally told me I have to break into the top four,” Jol said, “and betting on me to get the sack, I don’t think so – but you never know. I thought there were whispers last year, but there are whispers at every club. I’m the same as maybe seven people in every ten – I can’t take f***ing criticism.

“As a manager, you want time to build a team. Look at Arsenal and Liverpool, how many of my players would get in for them? If it is six or seven, then we must be fourth. If it is one or two, then we are overachieving. In 25 years, no Tottenham manager has had the number of points we have won over two seasons. None of them.”

Unless he is fighting the media rather than Levy with his words.

On another Spurs forum, a member was asked to post the following – which is apparently from a Spurs board member. Not exactly official club policy to go through a message board rather than the official club site:

As I know you are always in the chatroom, can I provide you with the current position please.

Re Ramos, Klinsmann etc - We are not negotiating with any managers about the replacement of Martin Jol at this time. We are an ambitious club and it is a realistic ambition that we should look to CL qualification, so anything that looks like we may not make it is bound to lead to speculation and we fully expect that. No manager's future is decided on one or two games and it is insulting to suggest that this board would do that.

Re Martin and Damien - they have a good working relationship - the football management board works - no player comes into this club that Martin doesnt agree to - it would be ludicrous to suggest that money would be spent on players Martin did not favour and whom he would not then play, Damien has brought talent to the club with Martin's approval - and we would not have players like Berbatov and Bale without him to mention but two (there are obviously many more).

Re left position - always difficult as evidenced by the fact that the majority of prem teams (Liverpool a notable exception) play a right footer on the left. We have Lennon, Malbranque (who played a blinder on the left yesterday) Bale and Keane. So we have many options and yet we will still look as depth is a key factor of the squad.

Please let me know if any rumours running amok that I have not answered here - will be happy to! best regards,

Too confusing, isn’t it? No real way of knowing whether Mido’s dig at Tottenham’s ‘politics’ is true or just a bitter parting word at the fact that he was shifted out of the club having dropped to 5th in the pecking order.

And are forums really this powerful tool of mass hysteria where a few words posted suddenly appear in the next days edition of The Sun or Mirror?

Is Levy to blame for failing to buck a trend and behave in the manner that has become synonymous with the past - bad management. Why do we have to persistently rock the boat? Or is modern day football to blame, breeding impatience in the terraces and on the board.

Maybe its not all rumours. Maybe there is truth in it. Maybe I'm blinded by the fact that Jol has achieved great success compared to the past set of managers who have failed miserably - but I fail to see that he might not be capable of taking us further.

I said that I no longer dispute the fact that Jol's days maybe numbered. And as you can tell from this article I am unable to settle down into one school of thought on this.

If Jol wasn't in trouble he is now. And its more to do with the hype surrounding it than the actual logical process that should be considered (i.e. give Jol the time he needs).

Maybe sacking him isn't too bad an idea if Ramos replaces him. But I just can't find myself liking that idea at this moment. That must make me pro-Jol and anti-Levy. Spooky will be pleased with that. Though he's anti-everything at the best of times.

TES

The Most Important Game in the History of Tottenham Hotspur

I will not be present at today's game. I know, I know, its pains me to miss a potential early season 'burning of the season ticket' festival, but personal reasons have me anchored to my humble abode and thus I will have to make do with football forums, the BBC website and the anti-Spurs presenters on Gillette Soccer Saturday. It's a nightmare, I know.

So, to keep my mind occupied I will return to this blog at 3pm and update it through-out the afternoon up until the final whistle, to chronicle the days events in full technicolor detail.

--

13:57 - Team News:

Team:

Robbo
Chimbonda
Lee
Rocha
Gardner
Huddlestone
Malbranque
Jenas
Routledge
Keane
Bent

Subs:

Cerny
Stalteri
Defoe
Taarabt
Zokora

Routledge starts to give us width. Sound in principle, but the jury is out with what he can do in practise. Jenas keeps his place, obviously. Out goes Zokora and Stalteri. The Constant Gardner once more starts as our ever-present lynch-pin in central defence. Lee is back from injury, which means the left-hand side might have some positive action for once. And, oh my God, Taarabt is on the bench.

--

14:06

Downloaded Sopcast which will have the Spurs game live. Looks like I will be saved from Jeff Stelling and his screaming banshees. Quality of streaming is very good. Maybe Levy could consider giving Spurs fans streaming on the official site, for a tidy monthly fee of course. Wouldn't want him out of pocket.

The game is being streamed, apparently with no commentary, and just crowd noises. Should be able to hear the booing clearly.

--

14:56

Not long to go now. Changed streaming to another site. Better quality. No commentary, so have BBC Five Live on audio, with the esteemed David Pleat co-commentating. Wonderful! Caught a glimpse of Daniel Levy, with a half nervous smirk on his face. Under pressure, Daniel?

--

15:03

1-0 up! Jenas with a mis-hit freekick which finds Steed who mis-kicks it past the Derby keeper. The boo-boys go quiet!!! Good play by Shambonba, according to Pleat.

--

15:07

2-0. Steed again. Always knew Jol was a tactical genius. Midfield at their creative best today. Surely 4th spot is ours to have now?

--

14:14

Pele'esque type goal from the Tottenham home crowds starlet, Jenas. Running through the Derby midfield and defence like a hot knife through watery butter. 3-0. Levy should offer that 5 year contract to Jol as quickly as possible.

--

14:24

Huddlestone running the show at the moment against his former side. Will be disappointed if we don't carve out another 2 or 3 goals before half-time.

--

15:33

Routledge has the ball in the back of the net, but ruled off for offside. Another sweeping move forward. Spurs are monopolising the midfield. No really, stop laughing. They are.

--

15:38

Another opportunity to make it 4-0 wasted. Not happy with this, not happy at all.

--

HALF-TIME

Three goals. One disallowed. A penalty shout ignored. Huddlestone dominating the midfield and allowing Jenas to play free and without stress. Spurs playing with width. Jeans lively and sharp. Gardner still looking shit.

Vital we score another 2/3 goals in second half for the sake of goal difference and also retain a clean sheet.

Jury still out.

--

SECOND HALF

16:11

Eight minutes into the second half. No chances created yet. Foot off the gas already. We should be going for more goals. Perfect for the goal difference tally.

--

16:21

Not much going on. Mido scores for Boro on his debut. That will probably be his lot right there. Seems Jol's textbook half-time talk has defused the relentless play of the first half. All a bit non-effective at the moment. Derby with a lot more of the ball.

Why do we have to have to slow down the tempo and sit back?

Time for the Taarabt?

--

16:30

Taarabt on. Already having shots on goal and running with the ball. Oh my God. We have an exciting energetic midfield who can actually play. More please.

--

16:36

All come from a freekick won by Taarabt. This kid is magic. Scrappy goal, Bent helps the ball over the line from about 1cm out. 4-0.

Acceptable.

--

FINAL WHISTLE

16:52

Game over. 4-0. Jenas finding his level, first half. Can we play Derby every week? Clean sheet the main bonus. That and four goals. Still lacking just that one extra special ingredient upfront. He's in Germany at the moment - get well soon Berbs. Still, Spurs had width and spirit which lacked on the previous two games. Jol's head is safe. Levy will celebrate with the usual £1000 bottle of champagne I'm sure.

More of Taarabt please. Yes, he plays like a kid in the playground, hugging the ball and shooting as often as possible. More composure will come with time. But he needs to be involved in the first team as often as possible.

Defence handled it will too. Big test will be against Manchester United.

Levy survives another day.

The Two-Face Perspective

Issue #2
Forever Fickle

"Jol Out! Jol In!"

Two-Face: His tenure is over. He is tactically inept, makes dubious selection and substitutions and will not take Spurs to the next level. The players are simply failing to respond to his motivational skills, which he must lack in abundance. The fans are turning against him, they demand change.

Harvey Dent: Demand? Spurs fans are knee-jerking. All the anticipation and hype through-out the summer leading up to the new season has obviously taken them from the very highs of hope down to the doldrums of despair. It’s a classic football fan reaction where the impatience can only be dulled by a change so big it shadows the pain of the two defeats that have caused all this upheaval. And let me just emphasis how scandalously stupid this scenario is. Two defeats. 180 minutes.

Two-Face: Yes, but two defeats in games where they should have won or at least performed with some form of organisation and spirit displaying positive form. They were crap, plain and simple. And how is that acceptable with the money spent by the club? They can’t always be seen as a club that’s ‘almost there’. He’s had a couple of seasons and plenty of re-structuring with new players to get it right, to gel it together. Spurs, to get to the next level, have to start winning the games that a club that’s expected to push for 4th should win. Sunderland away (and with no dis-respect meant) Everton at home. Should be six points in the bag.

Harvey Dent: They didn’t start too well last season. They looked poor against Bolton. And ironically lost to Everton at the Lane. Still finished 5th.

Two-Face: That’s my point. Go back two seasons when sitting in 4th for so long you’d think they would cancel out all the niggling negative points that held them from cementing that position weeks before the final game of that season. Last year, they limped into 5th spot. Is it acceptable for them to do the same thing this year?

Harvey Dent: What? You think they are strong enough to bully themselves into 4th?

Two-Face: They should be seen to be trying to do just that. That’s tactically and with fight and guts. Two games, and they’ve shown their fans nothing to suggest they will.

Harvey Dent: It’s all circumstantial. Seven or so defenders out injured.

Two-Face: Jol should have a contingency plan. He should have looked at his squad in the summer and considered all possibilities.

Harvey Dent: What are you going on about? Spurs, if all fit, have plenty of cover in defence. You cant account for what’s happened. Its just sheer back luck, the luck of which Spurs have not seen for a while with injuries.

Two-Face: Maybe, but you can’t say the same thing about the midfield. No true defensive midfielder with leadership qualities and no creative midfielder either. And Jol has the option of playing the likes of Taarabt but doesn’t do so.

Harvey Dent: Oh right, Taarabt. I knew you would bring his name into this. He is 18 years old with little Premiership experience.

Two-Face: He had a great pre-season. If he is good enough, which Jol claims he is, then he should play. What’s the point otherwise? Did Wenger bottle playing Cesc when he was sixteen years old?

Harvey Dent: You think he’s not playing him because of his age or inexperience? He’s not playing him because he doesn’t want the poor kid to be utterly demoralised if things don’t go well. It’s easier for a player to settle into a side that’s winning and comfortable, and not in the midst of a ‘crisis’. And I use that word loosely, because the only crisis is in the heads of the newspapers and the Spurs fans. Taarabt will get abused like a crackwhore who’s not shared her earnings with her pimp. Look at the way the home faithful terrorised Carrick and more so Jenas. Ghaly too. They expect the moon on a stick.

Two-Face: Why shouldn’t they? The money spent and the players bought, Spurs should be up there and should have a look about them that screams top 4/5. Instead, they look the same as they always have. Soft, naïve and clumsy and nowhere near being true top 4 material.

Harvey Dent: Now hold on a second. Yes, they have spent a ton of money and yes they have flirted with the potential of taking it to the next level but Spurs fans and the media are guilty of being a tad delusional here. It’s a huge huge step to take.

Two-Face: Yes it is, but they are stuck half way. They should keep on moving upwards but they have a bade case of the vertigo. They have fallen down. On their arse.

Harvey Dent: Actually, they’ve just taken a trip. Embarrasing, but recoverable. And as for vertigo, it’s more like amnesia for their supporters. Spurs have not won the title for over 40 years. They have never been a true league club in the sense of consistent title-challenges. Yes, the have a rich history of style and have arguably had some of the best players to grace the land over the years but they have under-achieved. And have always done so. Yeah, they’ve had top 3 placements in the past, but not consistently. And the past decade or so they have been mediocre. One transitional period has followed another. And there was never any real hope at any point. Spurs have been the perpetual wannabes for decades now. Fans wanting to see silveware to compensate for the fact that their fancy football has resulted in very little in recent years. They've never looked like making it. Not until Jol took the helm. Are you trying to suggest that 180 minutes of football out weighs the work he has done before that? Or have you forgotten about Pleat, Gross, Francis, Graham, Hoddle and Santini? How is it that one moment he can do no wrong and the next he should go? He's only been in charge for two years. Do you honestly think he can out-wit and out-do the work done by Wenger and Liverpool and knock'em out of the top 4 in his third season of asking?

Two-Face: I’m not disputing what he has achieved. He has actually made Spurs a decent and serious proposition over the past two seasons. But it’s quite possible that Martin Jol hasn’t got what it takes to finish the job. See, in the past Spurs have sacked managers because they were not good enough to make Spurs into a good team with sustained potential. The club made the wrong managerial appointments and paid the price. This time they won’t be getting rid of Jol because he has failed in what he set out to do, they will be getting rid of him because he hasn’t got the skills to make Spurs a nailed on all guns blazing Top 4 side. Another manager, with the right creditionals could take the current squad and really push Arsenal and Liverpool. 'Really' push them.

Harvey Dent: Not with the lack of defensive cover. But this is based on two defeats at the start of this season? If the Sunderland game had finished 0-0 then we would not be having this discussion. It’s all been exaggerated tenfold. Remember Santini? Remember the six defeats on the spin? Jol was in charge for some of those games.

Two-Face: That’s different. Spurs got rid of Santini and promoted Jol. You can't compare that with what's happening now.

Harvey Dent: With lesser players he sorted out that little crisis of confidence and they haven’t looked back since. Jol can’t be pushed out of the club after 2 seasons and a bit. It’s ludicrous.

Two-Face: People keep on harping on about how managers need time, but let’s say he stays in and by Christmas Spurs are 20 or so points behind 5th place. Then what? Season 2008 will be written off. We might win a cup. But ‘Might’ isn’t a strong enough guarantee, because every other club probably believes they might win a cup. No UEFA Cup football next year would be a disaster as Spurs have reached one level, they can not go back down one. If they keep him and things don’t improve then the damage has been done.

Harvey Dent: So, let Spurs get rid of the best manager they’ve had for over ten years because of two games. And don’t interrupt me on this. It’s these two games that’s got us talking about this and it’s the two games that has got fans turning against him and knee-jerking and making themselves look like hypocrites, all fickle and twisted. Along with the medias usual tripe suddenly we have rumours of board unrest and Jol and Levy not getting on. One month back fans were praising Levy and praising Jol, and yet suddenly everyone knows someone who knows something about the 'Troubles at Tottenham'. Ramos is being lined up. Jol is already gone say others, claiming that after the Derby game he will leave the club. It’s comical. Everyone should just calm the fuck down. Spurs dont have the right to claim they are owed European football. They have to fight for that right. They have to prove their worth. Its not going to knock on their door just because their fans think they deserve it. Jol has a job to finish.

Two-Face: He doesn't know how to finish it.

Harvey Dent: Yes well if Fergie had been sacked when the fans wanted him sacked the history of Manchester United would be a lot different now. And it took him a good four years to get things going. And look at them now. How can Spurs demand success sooner than when Utd got it?

Two-Face: Not this old chestnut again. Look, Spurs might look back to the opening couple of games of the season with regret if they miss out on 4th by a few points. That’s the difference between a decent side and a top side.

Harvey Dent: Hindsight, wonderful way to argue your point. If Spurs beat Derby comprehensively, you’ll have most of the fans that have bitched and complained being a little calmer and more logical about the situation. If they do well at Old Trafford, a draw maybe, then suddenly Jol will be getting credit for a job well done and then you’ll look back to the present and compare the states of the supporters mind and wonder how they can go from one emotional extreme to another in such a short space of time. Football is guilty of over-reaction far too often.

Two-Face: Sometimes. But sometimes its justified. The Hoddle Clock is ticking. And the Spurs fans are winding it up.

Harvey Dent: Spurs have to stick this one out.

Two-Face: We shall see.

Harvey Dent: I’m sure we will.

Two-Face: Home win?

Harvey Dent: Yes. Home win.

Two-Face: (Flips a coin) See you on the other side.

More next week....

Berbs Out

2/3 weeks is the apparent timeout Berbatov will have due to injury (groin), compounded with Kaboul (hamstring) being layed-off for up to 4 weeks.

Would appear that Berbatov's injury is an 'old problem', suggesting he has not been fully fit. Off to Germany he goes to to visit a specialist. All we have to wait for now is the possibility for him to be out further because of an op.

Thankfully, Gareth Bale (someone who can take set-pieces) and Young-Pyo Lee (someone who is better than Stalteri/Gardner) are both expected to be back soon. Dawson also is on the road to full recovery.

Praise the lord.

Ramos linked

Didn't take long for whispers of 'crisis talks' (The Independent) and this 'In the Know' whorage has even made its way over to Wikipedia:

I have it on good authority from someone connected to Joe Lewis that communication between BMJ and the board has broken down and that a replacement could be announced by Saturday and that replacement is Juande Ramos. I must stress that I do not usually post rumours and I will believe it when I see it but the guy was adamant it is true so thought I would share this one.

At home to Derby on Saturday will be the single most important 90 minutes of Jol's reign. I can't believe for a second that Ramos would leave Champions League football for North London. Although Ramos himself admits that the Spurs board contacted him last year. Levy, you dirty dog.

But how wonderful it is to see that the 'ITK' characters are now apparently adding 'weight' to these rumours, hoping to score some points from the desperate Spurs fans needing some kind of quick fix of hope.

Dragon1 on COYS:

ok here goes

ramos would love the job and we would like him but it aint that simple

i cant go into things but it is complicated so martin will be given a little longer, he certainly will still be in charge for sat

What a crock of shit. Sorry, but that's just BS.

Its text book classic 'Oh, let me link a manager who is being linked by every man and his dog, but then cover myself by using the 'the board will give him time' so that if he does well, and Jol stays then its because the board changed their mind on it - meaning I was right in the first place. If he doesn't, he'll get sacked, because that's what chairman do, right? So, when Ramos comes in (the obvious choice) I can claim to have been ITK about, and therefore get several cyber-pats on the back and people telling me I'm a legend' trick in play.

Everyone thinks they're a Daily Mirror journalist.

Dear Mr Levy: What use is an unloaded gun?

Dear Mr Levy,

Are you sitting comfortably? Maybe you need to push aside the metaphorical £7000 per night hooker (The West Stand) kneeling down in front of you and spit out the caviar (our hard earned money) because I don’t want you to be distracted by what I have to say. And if Chirpy happens to be down there too, ask him to get his friction burns another time.

I’ve just returned from White Hart Lane – The Theatre of Sleep Paralysis. I witnessed an inept display of dis-organised football, dosed with dollops of shambolic blips and embarrassing puddles of despair. Is it suddenly the turn of the century again? Is Pleat back at the helm? Moving a little forward on the timeline, I almost long for Santini and his bus.

What happened to the progression from the past two seasons? The ambition to iron out all the little quirks and problems? In two games we find ourselves rock bottom within touching distance of the wrong Championship. Six points behind everyone and in disarray. A relegation dogfight is already on the cards. Time to cash in on the lazy Berbatov to bring in some steel. Nigel Quashie should be available. He knows one or two things about dogfights. The cultured Berbatov doesn’t have the right tools in the box for what’s on the horizon.

'This shit is unacceptable'

For the love of God, Anthony Colossus Gardner is our top goal scorer. Why bother spunking all that money on Bent when we have a player who can defend and attack? He’s like a black Beckenbauer, except his English, shit and can’t defend or attack. Uncanny. Gardner is so bad he should be white and ginger.

All that pre-season hype and all those cute soundbites from Jose and Fergie have got your little band of brothers all punch drunk with the idea that they don’t actually have to do anything. Just turn up in their £5,000 suits and £100k sports cars and that will be enough. 4th spot will come running to them in a short little mini skirt and black high heels, biting its lip with anticipation. Open your eyes, you fools! Its not 4th spot. Its 14th spot, and it’s fat and ugly and will give you STD's.

Yes, the defence is depleted, and seeing Kaboul walk off was evil irony at its best. Leaving us with Chimbonda (leftback or rightback, you decide) and Stalteri - the one man wrecking machine who hasn't quite figured out what the football is used for. But the issue that no matter how good our forwards are (not very good at the moment) we will continue to struggle even with a fully fit defence on account of having the most unbalanced and backwards moving midfield in the Premiership.

Everton may not have been great in performance. Let’s face it they didn’t have to do much at all. They just waited for us to gift them a goal or three. But they still grafted their socks off. They all had individual responsibilities out on the pitch. We were a pathetic mess in comparison. At this rate, we’ll be relegated by Christmas. See, instead of paying money for young players and recommended foreign talent, we should have just brought in bland non-sexy workman-like footballers. We got beat by a team who have Phil Neville as the cornerstone of their defence. Why didn’t we bid for Phil Neville? No, instead, we go for Kevin Prince Boateng, cause he’s got a flash name and tattoos and should sell a ton of shirts and merchandise and might be the new Gazza. Another player who might prove to be decent in 3 years time. Always looking to the future, never the present.

'Its my mess. All my choices were wrong'

After the Sunderland defeat, I asked to see the following for the home game against Everton:

Organisation.
Balance.
Width.
Creativity from midfield.
Alert and slick forward play.
Strength of character in all areas.
Belief and self confidence.

The Magnificent Seven. And how did we do?

Organisation – The defence played like a post-apocalyptic group of starved imprisoned zombies who have been forced feed milk by a sadistic military special ops unit. They are confused and don’t understand what’s going on.

Balance – No balance or cohesiveness of any kind. The defence was put together by Blue Peter. All cello-tape and cardboard. The midfield was non-existent, like comedy on ITV. The forwards lost. Stuck in a hatch.

Width – Laughable. No Lennon, no width. Routledge made a cameo. That’s how desperate we are. All summer long - in fact three summers long, and still no answer to the left-hand side. Gareth Bale, our hopes and dreams are with you because Levy wouldn’t pay Petrov £70K per week. Criminal.

Creativity from midfield – One word. Arteta. That’s what we don’t have in our team. Someone to pull the strings. How dominant was he against Jenas and Zokora and our other midfielder, Keane? When will Jol realise that the midfield is imperative. It’s the heart of the team. Everton had the likes of Carsley doing all the donkey work. What do we have? Jenas, endlessly running into people or losing the ball. Zokora, endlessly running into people or losing the ball. Keane, endlessly running into people or losing the ball. Top 4? It’s not even mid-table, quality wise. Look at the other teams up there and look at their midfields, then compare them to what we have. That money you got for Carrick, after the usual tax-deductible yacht purchase is taken out off the profit margin, you could have spent it on someone decent enough to replace him. Phil Neville. Scott Parker. I wouldn't bid for Arteta. He'd probably turn to shit the moment he puts on the Lilywhite shirt.

Alert and slick forward play – None to be seen. A couple of moves, crosses and half-shots and the header from Berbatov, but all a bit average. None of that relentless attacking movement of the past two years that we have managed to muster up time and time again at home. There has been no style or plan in either of our two opening games. Are they training hard enough? Because a source close to the club suggests that Jol doesn’t have them do much running.

Strength of character in all areas – Completely void. No real heart. Nothing to suggest they felt hurt after the Sunderland defeat. No belief in themselves. In fact, it was all rather sympathetic. Losing a goal after 3 minutes summed it up. Spurs are the Kurt Cobain of football, gifted and tortured, preferring the easy way out.

'Lets whack this cocksucker and be done with it'

Belief and self confidence – I think Martin Jol loves Jenas so much, he’s started to mould the team in the shape and style of the player. Jenas, who probably still reads a scrapbook full of newspaper cut-outs of his rave reviews of when he was a Forest player, seems to be undroppable. He’s inaffective and without purpose. Seems the rest of the team are exactly like that too. No belief in their ability and no confidence to take on the likes of Sunderland and Everton. Its the dawn of the Jol Jenesis. And all the players have an invisible touch.

In a word, its a shambles.

So what if we have seven defenders out injured. What kind of excuse is that? And the lack of ideas going forward is worrying. Which begs the questions, why no Huddlestone? He was superb when he came on against Sunderland the other week. So mobile and sharp.

Where was the chance-creating machine, Taarabt? Ever present in pre-season, a reserve player since the start of it. This young Zidane cloned youngster is the saviour of this ruined club, and yet you and Jol have him wrapped up in cotton wool in a basement at the Lodge. Too wooden, is he?

You upped the prices of our season tickets. You allowed £16M and a bit to be spent on a forward that we arguably didn’t need. And all this talk of top 4 has resulted with egg over your chiseled manicured bald face.

'Just when I thought I was out, they pulled me back in'

After Derby at home, we have Manchester United, Arsenal, Bolton, Newcastle and Liverpool with Fulham squashed somewhere in there for fun. I can hardly see any points gained in any of those matches. Jol must have 2, max 3, games left to save his job. He's gone from a rousing Churchillesque speech at the final home game of last season and rapturous applauds and hero worship to the sounds of disgruntled fans, baying for his blood, full of intolerable excuses and boo'ing the team off the pitch.

See how quick your empire can crumble? Thats the power we yield. We can place aside everything thats happened since Jol took over replacing them with 180 minutes played this season, such is are foresight and judgement.

Two games, two sets of 90 minutes and our season is over. Best we can hope for is 8th or 7th at a push, and a late one at that. Three years down the drain in a blink of an eye. With no understandable explanation. It's the Tower of Babel all over again, struck down before reaching the heavens.

Time for evasive action. Time to sell the dead wood and bring in some new blood. Time to start the search for a new manager. Time to scrap these stupid tours of Africa, which appears to be one of the reasons for our depleated squad and injury crisis. Even though we did win some silverware out there. Add that to the honours list, Levy.

All those wonderful cup runs of last year and superb free-flowing attacking football that saw us claim the right to be called the great entertainers, all flushed down the toilet with just the one attempt. The harsh truth is that the log wasn’t big enough to cause a blockage and survive. Wasn't strong enough. Just too soft and breakable. Too much fibre, that’s the problem. Not enough starch.

Yours Depressed,

Spooky

Project Mayhem

Seems the club does nothing but bring in project players. That's players who are not the finished article (Boateng) and need work or players that are way off from being classed as world class (Zokora). Or players that apparently have potential (Jenas - ha!).

Obviously, a complete finished article DM or Attacking Midfielder would be perfect, but then every club wishes to have these players and not every club can. Which means we have to make do with what we have, and what we have are players brought in by the present management to push for 4th. So we can't complain about not having the right players, because surely the management know who the right players are. Why else buy them?

Sadly, at times, it seems they don't have a clue.

Our midfield lacks structure. There is no true clarification of the roles that each individual have. Its a mish-mash of squad players who are all under performing and failing to reach their true potential. Why? Well, one might think its because they are being selected and are not getting the directions they require from the coach. This is the scary part. Surely the coach can aim to get every player playing to their strengths when part of a unit/team?

If there is no finished article world class player on his way to Spurs, then we have to make do with what we have - and what we have appears to be what Martin Jol wants - therefore, in his head, its good enough to push for 4th. We've been here before, haven't we?

He has to begin to realise the potential he has at the club. He signed off on the players we have bought. If he's the right man, he'll get it right on the pitch. If he cant.....

Decimation: Spurs v Everton Preview

Wonderful, simply wonderful. From official site:

Martin Jol reports a few injury doubts, but expects the team to be largely unchanged when we take on Everton at the Lane tonight.

Jermaine Jenas, Teemu Tainio, Pascal Chimbonda and Didier Zokora were unable to participate in full training sessions yesterday as a result of picking up problems in Saturday's 1-0 defeat up at Sunderland.

"We've got a couple of knocks and a few players who couldn't train on Monday," revealed Martin. "Jermaine has a back problem, while Teemu doesn't feel 100 per cent. Pascal only did the warm-up and Didier didn't train.

"So there are a few little worries, but the boys want to play and put things right."

Michael Dawson remains a doubt, while not in contention are Ledley King, Benoit Assou-Ekotto, Lee Young-Pyo, Gareth Bale and Aaron Lennon (all knee).

No idea just how 'injured' Jermaine Jenas, Teemu Tainio, Pascal Chimbonda and Didier Zokora actually are. Hopefully the three midfielders are out, forcing Jol to play Taarabt.

It pains me to see a talent like him 'protected' or whatever lame excuse management want to use for not selecting him. He played all pre-season. He is creative. He is an immense talent. But there's no way of knowing just how good he actually is if he doesnt play. Did Wenger think twice about playing a certain Spanish 16 year old, who continues to get better and better with each passing year?

Steed on one wing, probably Keane on the other with Berbatov and Bent upfront. Taarabt and Huddlestone in the middle of the park - and we are set. At least that line-up is more likely to carve out a chance for the forwards.

Knowing my luck, all this 'they never trained' bollocks is Jol's idea of playing mind games. I'm sure Everton will faint when they find out that Jenas, TT and The Zok are playing. I know I will.

The Holy Grail

What will it take to break the stranglehold of the current 'Big Four'? Even with Arsenals current blip (a problem most other clubs would love to have) there's still no sign that the Big Four will have a new member or that the Big Four will become the Big Five or Six - all taking turns in the Champions League.

Transitional periods and re-building is the current trend with the chasing pack, and all long to be the club that achieves the nigh impossible. And with the odd billionaire financing you, who's to tell you wont buy and bully your way there.

For purists (if there are any left) the irony is that in an age when winning is everything and the only thing........theres only two teams in the Premiership who can realistically win the title. Two teams. Followed by two pretenders. The 1970's or 1980's it is not. Gone are the permed days of 8 or 9 teams who could claim to be in with a shout without being laughed at.

I'm sure some of you are old enough to remember that it wasn't just about Liverpool and Everton. Spurs were in there (top 3 on occassion, gosh the cheek of it) and the likes of Villa, Forest of course, Derby, Ipswich...the list goes on. Arsenal were shit back then too. Maybe the footballing Gods left their dizzy PA in charge of things while they went down the pub and still haven't returned to sort the mess out.

There was even club loyalty back then on account (the likelihood) of playing for someone who might win something. The FA Cup and the Milk Cup were monsters of triumph. They almost seem like an afterthought nowadays. And its still the Big Four that pick up these pieces of silverware.

This isn't a dig against Man Utd, Liverpool, Chelsea or Arsenal. Utd and Arsenal achieved consistency and challenged for trophies due to good management. They took the throne away from the dominating Red machine from Anfield who lost the magic of the boot room. Everyone else flattered to deceive. And recently, Chelsea, plugging away without the end result got the final pieces of the jigsaw when the Russian and the Portuguese blokes turned up at Stamford Bridge, one after the other.

The blame is firmly on football itself, for growing up. For leaving the streets behind and moving into the penthouse suite. The European Cup become the Champions League, and suddenly, everyones priorities change. For the worse.

At this current time, chances are that if you don't support Utd, Chelsea, Liverpool or Arsenal the club you do support has zero to slim chance of winning the title.

4th spot in the Prem is seen as success. 4th spot is an achievement. Probably only sport where it is. But this is football and its not like any other sport.

Its them and us until something gives way. The top two battle it out for first place and the rest have to settle for the scraps. Wont change anything. It hasn't changed anything. We all still wear our colours and support our clubs. Derby, back in the Prem could never seriously consider winning the title. Forest, long since departed from the Prem wont ever lay claim to the biggest club trophy in the world.

We will still support. But it seems in the modern age, finishing 4th with a chance of qualification into the Champions League is more important than winning the FA Cup or anything else.

Maybe it is. Maybe a club has to claim Champions League to then push towards the domestic title. And sacrifice everything else for it.

Unrest!

Quote from today's tabloids:

“There was a good sign in the dressing room because they were all blaming each other. The most important thing is that we pick ourselves up because it is a long, tough season.”

That's Martin Jol telling us that there was some spirit in the dressing room. Wrong place chief. It's out on that beautiful green grass where you're meant to have some passion, not after the game has ended and you're all in the showers slapping each others bums apologetically.

He goes on to add this gem:

Jol added: “We had a bad start last season and we lost to Bolton on the opening day but we picked ourselves up and that is what we have got to do again now. We have got to do better in midfield, up front and from the flanks as well.

So, let me get this right. We lost because we were shit in midfield, up front and on the wings? Daaaaamn. That's some insightful analysis right there for you. Basically, we have to improve in all positions. I would never have guessed that. I was gonna suggest we take performance enhancing drugs, but hey, better the devil you know. Looks like another hard days training is due. Though how hard, I don't know. Not that hard according to athlete and Spurs reserve player Ghaly.