The Biggest Game in our History™...ever.
Monday, August 23, 2010 at 1:00PM Champions League edition
Having missed the first leg when it was shown live, and then having to sit through the full coverage knowing the gory details of our Keystone indiscretion, well…it was far from being anywhere near an enjoyable 90 minutes. I sat uncomfortably, shifting around unable to stop myself from endless disapproving nodding of the head, gasping, tirades of swearing interspersed with the word 'unbelievable'. There was more face palming than Jean Luc Picard would do on a day that would have the Borg attack Federation outposts whilst Data experienced an identity crisis and the holo-decks malfunctioned. Again.
The opening 30 minutes were very much akin to the French film Irréversible, directed by Gaspar Noé. You know the one. Some of the most uneasy viewing you could possibly ever imagine having to endure. A tormenting battering and brutal penetration leaving a dejected body, physically and mentally destroyed on the ground. And that was just the football and Michael Dawson. Don't even get me started on the film and that scene in the underpass.
But unlike Monica Bellucci's character, we are not left for dead beyond recognition (can this blog post get any more bad taste? Yes it can, hold tight). We have been embarrassed, almost humiliated. It could have been far worse, but it wasn't, and 3-2 may as well be 1-0 to them, except it isn't because we have two away goals, so the advantage is with us. It has to be with us. How could we possibly not score at the Lane? Unless we get served up a lasagne the night before, hand delivered from the Marriott Hotel by David Dein. There is simply no excuse for anything less than a convincing victory and safe passage through to the gold-paved roads of the group stages.
Perhaps in the first game we underestimated the task ahead. I know many of us did when we heard the draw. It was the best draw we could have hoped for, but not anywhere near as easy as it looked on paper. But then, that's naivety on our part. I mean, it’s a team from Switzerland, no? How could they handle a 100mph EPL club? Handle them well they did. Artificial pitch? Yes it did have a slight influence on the game, the way the ball zinged and pinged around and the way our players failed to take to it. Wasn't so much a subconscious lapse because you could visibly see them panic and freeze. Our defenders slowed down to a snails pace whilst YB cut through us like a hot axe through a cockerel made entirely of butter. I guess we were unprepared, which is scandalous considering what's at stake, but it's happened and can never be changed, so redemption is with making sure it doesn't happen again.
The more you look back the more disparaged you will feel about our initial inability to cope with the occasion. It was a choke. A combination of Harry's heimlich manoeuvre, a couple of wasteful finishes by the hosts and Pav's scorcher saving the day.
And so onwards we go into the do or die game at the Lane. Lessons learnt. The biggest game in our history, ever. Failure would mean a distinct lack of DVD releases. No 'Barcelona 0 Spurs 1' diamond encrusted club shop exclusive. No special edition Opus with it's extra glossy CL chapter with players bum-slapping each other in the changing rooms whilst Bentley and JJ dunk Harry in the bath. No doubt, over in East London, the streets will be packed with people eating and drinking like it was the Coronation all over again, another glorious chapter in their history written, statues built etc etc. Sky Sports News would probably petition to have the day extended from twenty-four hours to forty-eight so they can enjoy running the same headline long into the night.
Screw all this.
COYS. To dare is to do stuff. Positive stuff. It's no exaggeration to say that simply being there, in the groups, will be monumental in terms of stature. Sure, it might turn out to be a seasons worth of adventures, but it's one I want to experience. To push on, the players need to want it just as much. No sympathetic apologetic dejection thank you very much. Leave all that boxed up sitting next to the Ark of the Covenant in some warehouse somewhere.
But this Spurs side doesn't dwell in the past. Harry has instilled an ethic that does not disappoint when our backs are up against it.
Let's get the potential injuries out the way first. Modric, dos Santos, Pav, Keane - all apparently no-go's. King should return and apparently so will Defoe. I have a feeling (I hope) the injury plight is not half as bad as it looks, Harry mind games, with our players rested rather than risked away to Stoke.
There's also question marks surrounding our lack of goals from forwards. But the season is but two games old. And even if we do have one or two key players missing, we have enough quality, on grass, at home, to do to the Young Boys what they did to us.
They are smart, they might consider defending in numbers and counter-attacking. Frustrate us much like one or two managed last season. But do they have the class and belief to handle life outside of their plastic fantastic? The longer the game goes on with no goal then the more it will play on our minds, on the pitch and in the stands. This won't be easy. But then again the sheer noise the home faithful will make on the return of a glory glory night at the Lane, I can't think of anything better to settle the nerves of the players. YB have travelled to Turkey and won, so they won't be scared of the hallelujahs and drumming.
This is what it's all about. These types of pressures, expectations. Get use to it. The players should be loving the adrenalin rush. There's no hiding place. There is, but it's not an option. You either want it and go out and get it or you simply disappear into a dark corner and shake uncontrollably till you pass out. Everyone who isn't Lilywhite will want us to lose, more than ever. Embrace the hate. It means we're doing something right.
Early goal. An early goal will be perfect. I don't actually think they'll going to sit back, so I can't imagine them defending for 90 minutes. I reckon they will try to seek out an away goal positively knowing that if they succeed the game will open up for them because the pressure will be on us to try and claw something back. Which will leave them to be even more adventurous. If they do defend, then patience is key.
But worrying about the opposition is a wasteful exercise. Worrying about all the various possible scenarios that might play out is equally wasteful. When Monica Bellucci is confronted in the underpass, how different things would have been had she pulled out a gun from her handbag and shot the bastard in the face.
See, we might have been caught short on their patch. But on home territory, under the floodlights, we'll be gripping firearms like bloodthirsty assassins, firing bullets, ripping flesh off the bone till all that’s left is dog food.
Harry made some astute changes in the first game. This time round, we'll be as full strength as selection will allow us. Meaning Huddlestone will start. King will bring some much required calm at the back. Then there's the Kraken. No turning to stone for young Gareth. Bale, the beast, the stud, the Dark Knight, the best left-sided left-winger in the country (What? Yes, I did just say that, f**k you if you don't agree).
It's time to step up again. It's the life we have chosen for ourselves. Step up and cut through them like a hot knife through Swiss chocolate. A white hot knife, in a room with the air con off and radiators on full whack. In fact, the chocolate is in the oven when the knife does the damage. I want to swim in their chocolate blood.
We have the opportunity to be a part of the elite and kick the ball around in their playground. I don't care about ifs and buts about us being out of our depth if we get there. What a load of boll*cks. I want this more than I want Jessica Alba tied and gagged in my basement.
Get at them. Get at them the way we got at Man City, and get at them some more by finding the target, with no remorse. We've had far more tricky games recently. Far bigger tests of our guile and mentality. We didn't choke. I don't expect us to choke on Wednesday. I expect us to unzip and make them choke on us. Young Boys of Bern. We're going to hurt you. We're going to come from behind and beat you, beat you bad.
Ooh. Kenneth Williams would be proud.
COYFS. To dare is to f**king do.
Reader Comments (166)
JD has improved his all round game, well untill he had probs with his groin, take away his pace (hard too run fast with a dicky groin) and thats half hjis game gone. DC did you watch the first leg against young twats JJ was playing, apparently if you noticed hm at all?? did anybody?? He did run out of the tunnel in that game at least, well he walked, ambled really but apart from that was totally inconspicuous and typically JJ and he has been such since we first got him what 10-12years ago? longer?? feels like it anyhow. He is NOT class he is pants, really really pants. nice one about the clock chrisman lol. Anyway due to injuries looks like we will have to suffer him - JJ tonight, look out for him dc see if you can spot him. IF he turns out to be MoM and scores the winner I will come on here tomorow and promise him love forever, my wife if he wants her, I dont so why should he? and I will bow before you dc - metaphorically and praise your football knowledge :-)) I dont think I need worry
14 million for Huddlestone LMAO
@nomorewhlegends
You're quite right, I didn't notice JJ do anything against Young Boys.
Probably because he wasn't playing that night.
You actually want to slag him off so much you're imagining things!
SAGGY FACE - To much?
Our moment has arrived!
We have climbed the stairs and the door to being a CL club is before us.
Please...lets not gently tap on it, asking someone on the inside to open it.
Let's kick the fuck out of it by beating Young Boys 5 - 0 and send a message to the Big Boys...including the fucking Scum and Rednose the Scot.
The message....We are here...We don't fucking care who you are...We are Tottenham Hotspur..and all of you are going fucking down!!!!!!!!
One by fucking one!!!
Ignore him Tom. He's just trolling. Big clue in the use of LMAO.
A call to arms
Can the announcer read this latest Spooky masterpiece over the tannoy instead of the champs league music
That'd be a right laugh...Imagine Tyldsley & Beglin's thoughts on that .... the fucking twats
or maybe bleat will be co-commentator....fuck it i think I'll watch it on a dodgy middle eastern stream
Speaking of twats........
Sky news's sports section (not sky sports news) had our champs league tie third in the sports news....behind fifa lads walking around manchester...then liverpool injury crisis for trabszonspor TOMORROW......
Surely this is more important.....oh yeah it is...and would have featured 1st if it had been the cunts up the road or man city or liverpool...etc .....you get the idea.....grrrrrrr
We will win 2-1 tonight. I know ths because every single game that I have watched in this particular pub in Ibiza, we have won by this scoreline. Liverpool home, West Ham away, Chelsea and Arsenal at home - all 2-1.
I even turned up late for the first leg against Young Boys and we were already 2-0 down. The game finished 3-2 - i.e. we won 2-1 for the duration I was watching.
If my prediction comes true then I may never go back to England again.
why you would want to come back anyway is beyond me!
Ah, the white island. How I miss it's chemicals and 10 euro bottles of water.
Tottenham hold talks with AC Milan over strike star - Guess who? This looks ON!
Whisky
And Zlatan is in talks with AC Milan......gives this KJH story more bite
What about the fucking "strict wage structure" though
oooohhhhhhh (moisture if this happens)
Speaking of moisture, has anyone seen this rain? Let's see how Young Boy$ like a proper grassy mudbath.
I'm guessing that if we don't go through tonight, nobody is signing with us. But if we do (and we will, damn it!), the floodgates will open up.
I'm not a fan of dutch players, they tend to be wildly overrated. Ajax are a 'trendy' team so it seems anyone who passes through there is the next big thing. Van der Vaart is one of the most overrated players around right now. People think he's some sort of genius, but really hes just Micheal Brown with slightly better passing. Patrick Kluivert was probably the most annoyingly overrated player of all time. Davids was 2nd. The problem is, pretty 1 dimensional players are heralded as something they are not, purely because they are Dutch and from Ajax. And have Dreds. It's a great big con. Imagine if Huntelaar was Belgian, I doubt anyone would be interested in him. He's not even that young.
Having said all that, he hasn't really been given a fair crack at Real or AC, and given a good run of games and plenty of service, He could be good. He's good in the box, but the question is does he have the all rounbd game to be a significant upgrade on what we already have?
Sitting here in me 125 year anniversary away shirt, club crested slippers, 1 hour to go till coverage starts and minutes feel like hours. I'm nervous. I need this. Harry needs this. The club too needs this. The scum up the road need this because it'll show them what they probably already know. They don't have to look too far over their shoulders to see us creeping up on them ready to pounce sabre in hand and reaffirm our status as the pride of north London.
And chrisman
would you really prefer to have psb in the squad instead if kjh? Especially if was initially on loan. If he sucked we could just leave it at that.
I am beyond pissed I have to work for this. I hope we put 3 up early and never look back.
COYS
Ooohh.
Pat Jennings has just been on Irish tv saying us this us that we this we that anyway what said that interested me was that if we get through this there could well be a couple of new players coming in. It's the way he said it and the look on his face. We'll see.
Fabiano 1/4 with skybet to join us. You know it ain't gonna happen now.
If KJH was belgian , he would be the king of our football , that's how bad we are :)
And i incidentally rate Van der Vaart , and what about Snijder then ?
off to spot a dodgy livestream , COYS !!!!!
Full strength given injuries except I'd go for pav instead of crouch.
And play 4-5-1/4-3-2-1
Harry seems to have realised crouch can't play up top on his own. So what does he do. Plays crouch in a 4-4-2 to accommodate him. Pav would score in the first 15 tonight if he started. He has a lot to prove after last Tuesday. And harry reckons defoe can't last much more than a half. Expect Robbie and pav to come in around the 60min mark barring injuries.
Hmmmmm ok. Thanks Pete.
Wilson !!!!!!!!
(sounding like Tom Hanks)
Ok that's why Harry is the boss.
And to say we all judged Thierry Henry for using his hand :) 'Handy' on the ball our JD but what a great finish
BelgianSpur,
Yep, not quite as egregious as Henry's--Defoe only touched it once--but clear handball. Don't mean to be all mimsy about this (and, sorry Spooky, but a lot of that the post was OTT for my taste. Felt like I was stuck in some ultraviolent video game), but could we please win without cheating? I really enjoy the view from high moral ground. Goes with the playing attractive attacking football thing.
Ironic that we might be signing fabiano. 2 handball goals in wc.
I want the gooner to post again.
That was a bit comfortable wasn't it?
Well, that's me on the way to the Apple store to get an I-Pad so I can watch mid-week matches at work (stupid internet blocking software.) I can only pull this work at home lark on a limited basis. Like Mr. Levy, I was hesitant to invest until I was sure we had those extra matches. Happy to have to spend the money!
Can't wait for the draw...
What a win ... speechless ... COYS
Impressive, just did the job, wasn't pretty but was more than enough. Shows what a fluke the first game was performance wise. This Spurs side has backbone. Love the fact WE ARE IN THE GROUP STAGES!!
I'm forced to admit that I shall never say a bad word about the tall, goofy one, clutch performances in the two biggest games in recent memory. Fantastic result, COYS
People need to back him and shut the fuck up with the barrage of negativity towards him. He might not be prolific, but he scores important goals.
Good call, GW. Crouchy's moves might be read in the PL but he is absolute puzzle for the CL opponents and he'll come quite handy for us, and extremely dangerous for other teams.
I meant JW :)
Tomtraubert,
I am expecting you to apologize to at least Harry and Crouch for your stupid lamenting about 4.4.2 system in today's game. This is not the first time you pissed all over the lanky. What is your problem?
hi all..very chuffed at result. no need for sherbet. i am confused re: uefa regulations. i read up and it says word for word the following....'18.07 As a rule, a player may not play in a UEFA club competition (i.e. UEFA Champions League and UEFA Europa League, but not UEFA Super Cup) for more than one club in the course of the same season. Exceptionally, however, a player who has been fielded in the first, second or third qualifying round of the UEFA Champions League or UEFA Europa League is entitled to play in the UEFA Champions League or UEFA Europa League for another club as from the group stage, provided that his former club did not qualify for
the group phase of either the UEFA Champions League or the UEFA Europa League.' i'm thinking fabiano here. if you fall out of champions league as did sevilla...do you 'qualify' for europa or fall into it. would appreciate clarity x
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!
Tons of swagger tonight! Brilliant play all around. Hoping Gomes is alright.
Upward and onward!!!!!!
Easy peasy. I should stop being so shocked with the manner we continue to impress.
Don't be shocked. We are champions league. We are TOTTENHAM from the lane. The giant just woke up. x
I have watched the match twice now and the highlights over and over. Bale, Huddlestone, Crouch and Assou-Ekotto were eminence. King and Lennon were unstoppable too. We have a real belief at home. Total confidence. You can see the determination on and off the ball. Its incredible. I suspect we will suffer agonizing away fixtures in all competitions this season and some delightful stuff at home. What a great time to be a Tottenham fan....the best I've seen from Spurs in more than thirty years! Bale made every goal happen. The Golden Monkey.
Beetle
I don't recall pissing all over him before. it's hardly stupid lamenting mate. Thought we would have been more effective with Saturdays formation than a straight 4-4-2 with crouchie in it. How many times before have we seen aimless hoofing up to the lanky one completely wasting our midfielders and becoming too predictible.. It's been mentioned before as a problem which I happen to agree with. I must admit though that if you play to his feet then you get more out of him so for only the second time that we did this (first time being shitteh) it actually worked.
I makes not a jot of difference that he was given the freedom of the box for the firstege should be scoring headers from corners like the second one when was so badly marked
and the third was a pen.
Regardless of the handball pete wouldn't have scored the goal Defoe did.
But all credit to him harry and the lads.
Welshladyid
thought we had all this sorted ie he could play for us if his former employer didn't qualify but now after reading what u posted I'm not so sure. Have a look on their website for a rule change back in march of this year.
Don't think fabiano will happen though.
BAE - outstanding, showed why he is rated so highly by some. Was really up for it, if he played with that intensity all the time he would be brilliant.
Hudd - amazing. Why he is not more talked about for England I'll never know
Harry - in you we trust
Crouch - Perfect game. More space in Europe means he looks a better player on the deck. Defenders cant handle his height in the box.
Defoe - needs to hold it up better. it wasn't sticking up top and a better team would have made all that possesion count. But tbh not many team will be able to handle us regardless of any lack of hold up play
We were there !!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8oKcy0r6j0
Cheers Louis, got any nice luggage for a European tour?
Gomes!! What was that all about? I don't think I've ever seen a Manager sign to a player wanting to come off due to a knock...........'Ten Minutes' Redknap even rolled his eyes..........Dawson looked well pissed off with him too.....Did they think he was acting up......?
He's always acting up.