Spurs transfer dealings according to 'club insiders'

As a direct follow-up to my previous blog entry, I'd thought I share some perfect examples of message board In The Know information. As I referred to it earlier, the cryptic style is an art form I'm sure you will appreciate.

If you are interested, for further updates, visit the originating source for the complied and up to date list of current ITK information at www.spurscommunity.co.uk (put together by Stoff who collates the info from various sources).

Alternatively you can browse to Glory Glory which tends to have random ITK info copy and pasted from the more exclusive Spurs forums as well as Stoffs complied lists.

Both of these forums are open communities and are not exclusive (which I think FTL and COYS are).

I've left the info below in it's original state.

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[Update 70] Dragon1 on Lennon and Keane
Posted: Thu, 29 Jan 2009 12:11:33 GMT
who dragon1
date 29/01/09
time 10:52
site COYS

scousers wanted lennon for keano, we told em to do one

he is one of the few harry actually rates!

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[Update 69] jurgenthengerman on ?
Posted: Thu, 29 Jan 2009 10:29:59 GMT
who jurgenthegerman
date 28/01/09
time 17:56
site COYS

Levy is negociating three situations that involve additions one is a match (that involves a player going the other way ) two are straight additions subject to change !!!! Of these three two have a reasonable chance
Don t shoot

and

The road to redemption is very long with Harry

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[Update 68] Ben on Appiah
Posted: Thu, 29 Jan 2009 09:18:37 GMT
who BEN
date 29/01/09
time 09:13
site FTL10 AM TODAY

APPIAH GETS TOLD IN MEETING

IF YES OR NO

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[Update 67] Arigold on Keane, N'Zogbia and Hunt
Posted: Thu, 29 Jan 2009 09:17:23 GMT
who arigold
date 29/01/09
time 09:12
site SO

Big interest in Keane and either N'Zogbia or Hunt will sign, hopefully before Saturday. Hunt is waiting to see if we'll match two bids already in, but (surprise surprise) Reading are getting sick of dealing with us dithering.

Keane, as I've said for 6 weeks repeatedly, wants to come back. Liverpool are looking at other targets as well.

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[Update 66] Smudgemeister on Keane, Santa, WP and Appiah
Posted: Thu, 29 Jan 2009 09:16:13 GMT
who Smudgemeister
date 29/01/09
time 09:11
site FTL

Keane was never a target.

Harry looked at Santa Cruz but Rovers want too much (City in so Rovers want a bidding war and we aint going there)

Not terribly impressed with Appiah and not required now WP is on board

Close that (transfer) window....it's giving me a chill

The sooner this month of January is finished the better. Deciphering the tabloids (and broadsheets) logic when it comes to transfers is beginning to bore me. The truth is out there. It’s just buried under heaps of rubbish.

Whether it’s swapping Luka Mordic (22 years of age) for a defender in his mid-thirties or giving Aaron Lennon to Liverpool to allow for the return of Robbie Keane (along with writing off the debt owed to us from the Anfield club even though we’ve already re-signed Defoe who could never really play upfront with Keane anyhow)….it’s borderline fantasist paradise. 1 + 1 = 3.

Bale and Gio are surplus to requirements if you believe some quarters, suggesting that Spurs want to replace youth with experience. Which means in a few years we’d have to re-look at bringing in young players again for the future. The formula here is, if a player is young and is either not in form/just come back from injury/not playing on a regular basis – then he is not good enough, and thus will be sold. Therefore, link him to a move away every other week. There's always a chance it might actually happen, and if you've linked him to 5 different clubs, you're in with a chance to stamp one of those exclusive 'we broke the story' articles, basking in the glory that your information was sound, even though you made it up.

Agent talk? Guess work? Bit of both? You’ll find rumours and transfer scenarios of equal quality on any given message board. It’s a mess of a month.

Is the Lennon story simply Liverpool/Rafa testing the waters to see if we are stupid enough to lose a young lad with the world at his feet for a 29 year old who decided that the prospect of playing Champions League football was enough to write-off 6 years and leave the only true footballing home he had? Or is there credence in the story that Aaron wants to leave the club and move back up Northish? If Appiah is signed by us, then what happens to someone like Jenas? Palacios, Modric, Zokora, Appiah, Jenas, Huddlestone…that’s quite a selection headache. Although we’d be two short next year when the African Nations Cup is held, so depth is required which would mean selling players isn't. Still, anyone can see that one of these players will potentially fall victim to a Harry midfield cull because you can't keep 'em all happy. So, as Jenas is high profile, it makes sense to flog his name around as the player who will be sold on. Jose had him in his fantasy football team, so that surely means Inter will be after his signature. Can we have Adriano in exchange please? We need about eight strikers to climb away from the bottom three.

Darren Bents name crops up everywhere. Apparently, with Michael Owen injured, Newcastle are looking at Darren as the man to save them from the drop. Nobody has said this other than someone who wrote up an article with no quotes or suggestions of truth. So naturally, this would involve N’Zogbia/Viduka coming to Spurs as part of the deal. Naturally. Maybe Owen faked his injury and is currently having a medical for Chelsea who are also signing Robinho for a cut-price £7M. Obviously.

In the past month or so, that hasn’t been a single eventuality that hasn’t been discussed in print or on SSN.

I don’t mind transfer gossip. As long as it’s within the realms of logistic reality. Digging through to find that 5% which is sprinkled with a little logic is no longer fun.

What is even worse is the alleged 'In the Know' people who claim to be connected in some way to the club or know people who work at Tottenham, and then pass on info in forums and message boards using a cryptic style that actually protects them if they happen to be wrong with their information. It's like an art-form. But it's nothing more than a parody of what's printed in the press. Fact is there are X amount of teams and X amount of players and it's not rocket science to sometimes take that 1 and take an other 1 and add them together to get a 2. And when one of these ITK characters gets it right, it's almost like he's done something akin to predicting the lottery numbers, with fans worshipping his oracle-like awareness of events before they happen.

Well thanks for letting us know something five minutes before we officially know it through the official site. Knowing it for those five extra minutes makes it so more satisfying.

Just a few days left now. And then we'll be back to reading Rafa rants and Wengerisims, Harry drafting his wife into the first team and Ronaldo linked with Madrid (that one is with us all year round).

3 days and counting...

Monday Transfer Round-Up

Carlo Cudicini.

Free transfer. Unlikely he's moved from Chelseas's sub bench to sit on ours. Which means expect to see him play as our number one, whilst Gomes recovers from his slight injury concern, which means it will be up to the Brazilian to reclaim his place in the team. Competition for the keepers jersey. When was the last time that happened?

Chimbonda.

Ideal signing for the predicament we find ourselves in. Can hit the ground running, cover 3 different positions (yes, I know he ain't too hot at left-back) and ease defensive selection problems.

Personally, hate the fact that we've had to go back for him as I dislike the man and his lack of principles. But beggars can't be choosers. We are in a mess, so much so, that we've had to re-sign a player we sold 6 months ago, proving the point that he shouldn't have been sold in the first place. Even if he was a bit of a mercenary, we got rid of far too many players (in fact, three of them all to the North East). Hail the DoF system and our pre-season planning.

Jones.

If you listen to the Sunderland boss you'll notice he isn't dismissing Tottenham's approach for Jones. Well, he is, but not in the direct fashion we've heard in recent weeks. In a SSN interview he acknowledges a bid has been made, mentions how the club and the player are under pressure, and how Jones is just getting on with it. He mentions that Jones wants to stay. Sunderland have said the player isn't going nowhere, but it still appears ominous. Redknapp has also commented on this by saying that there has been dialogue between both chairmen, so it's more than obvious that if the price is right, Sunderland will be happy to accept. Probably.

Still don't believe he is worth a penny more than £8M (and even that's too much but it's the average in today's modern day market).

Robbie Keane.

I kid you not. Harry is telling everyone how much he rates the player. It's common knowledge that Liverpool have only paid as around £6M or so thus far for his summer transfer to Anfield. Someone should point out that Keane and Defoe never made a decent partnership.

Berbatov.

Worth a cheeky bid?

Chimbonda, just the man for a relegation scrap

Sky Sports News understands that Pascal Chimbonda is having a medical at Spurs on Monday.

That's right, Chimbonda is on his way back to the Lane.

Pascal 'Kevin Keegan has approached me and they’ve offered me more money. I am definitely leaving Spurs. It’s all about the money. I don’t care about the final, I don’t care about the cup ' Chimbonda.

Pascal 'storms down the tunnel at Wembley' Chimbonda.

Pascal 'I would love to play for Arsenal' Chimbonda.

Pascal 'hands in transfer request to Wigan after the final whistle' Chimbonda.

£20M worth of right-backs at the Lane if this happens.

Gunter. Young and needs development. Talented, but we can't expect him to make the position his own just yet.
Hutton. Still injured. If you believe the whispers, he'll be off in the summer.
Corluka. A right-back, but required more as a centre-back thanks to King's constant trouble with fitness. Bringing in an experienced RB will allow him to play as a CB.

So what of Pascal? Ignoring his indiscretions as a person, can the logic of having him in a Spurs side out-weigh the mockery of a transfer this is, based on the fact he was sold not that long ago?

He can play left-back and he can play at centre-back too. Arguably better at CB (defensively) where he appears to be far more disciplined than at RB. He does possess decent attributes. Determination is there when he's on-form and as an attacking forward he is more than adequate, but he does suffer from lapses of laziness and concentration and has (in the past) undermined the likes of Lennon when playing behind him thanks to his own agenda when pushing forward (i.e. failing to cover and support the right-winger).

Zokora is the one tagged with having no footballing brain. Pascal's lack of positional sense is a deterrent to him being a reliable full-back 100% of the time (not that anyone is) as he sometimes plays for himself more than he plays for the team. Which is what I meant by undermining Lennon and having his own agenda. He has more freedom at RB, therefore, he goes on far too many walkabouts. Stick him at LB or CB, and he concentrates more because naturally, he is out of his comfort zone - but the fact he plays well when called upon proves he DOES have something of a footballing brain and the concentration and discipline to go with it.

However, part of me would consider that the reason for the Lennon/Chimbonda partnership not working was more to do with Lennon than it was Pascal. It's something up for debate.

As for the transfer itself, it's yet another laughable example of how desperate we are. No news on the improved offer for Jones at Sunderland. I'm scared to even listen out for information on that one. Perfect foil or not, if he is signed we'll be guilty of over-spending again. Desperate desperate times.

£3M is the reported price for Pascal. As much as I dislike the principle of this transfer (it's a massive risk) and dislike the man himself, it might just work as long as Harry knows what to do with him and re-ignites that fiery passion we did happen to witness on a number of occasions. We need that in every game, and none of the blasé drifting.

His attitude will remain questionable because of his history, but he isn't guilty of anything just yet.

We are in a relegation scrap, we need the cover. He can hit the ground running. If he shows no immediate impact and fails to do a job for us, then don't fret. He'll pull out that transfer request away to Liverpool on the final day of the season and begone.....

.....let's pray we are not gone.

Kenwyne Jones: Is he a Cole or a Drogba?

Palacios has completed his medical, all down to personal terms being agreed now. Would be nice that some day Spurs will have a scouting network that allows them to pick up these players BEFORE they become flavour of the month with other clubs who got there first. An obvious change in mentality is needed. Just because we are a rich club that can attract players to London life doesn’t mean we need to be lazy with our approach and wait for other clubs to pluck players from obscurity, and then wait for us to come in with an over-inflated bid. Well done to Wigan for purchasing a reserve player for less than a million and selling him for fourteen. Now that's sell-on value that Levy would appreciate.

Still no confirmation on Appiah, but the forum and message board 'In The Know' peeps are suggesting it's still going to happen. We shall see.

We have also apparently signed Chelsea keeper Cudicini for a million. Great if he is at the club to give Gomes competition and play as number 2. Not so great if ‘arry has decided to sell Gomes. My money is on Carlo being a replacement for Sanchez. If this is confirmed later on, then good work on getting experienced Premiership cover for this position.

Our interest in Kenwyne Jones seems to have gone quiet due to Sunderland’s insistence that he will not be sold under any circumstances. Two schools of thought about this player, so if you are either Spurs or Sunderland I wouldn’t mind hearing your opinions on him. To be honest, I’ve not seen enough of the guy in action. And Match of the Day highlights when he does play well is not a good basis for making a true educated opinion on his value.

School of Thought #1 ‘He’s a Carlton Cole’

Not that Cole is a bad player to have at the minute (evident by his recent form for the Hammers). Cole’s got rid of the dj’ing and other distractions (and his knees seems to be ok nowadays) and also has the comfort of no competition at West Ham which has actually worked positively in his favour. So is Jones just a clone of Carlton? Jones is not prolific. He is not a natural goal-scorer and arguably has a poor touch and finishing ability compared to other Prem forwards (let alone players actually worth '£15M'). He’s also a bit lazy and apart from being a bit of a lump the only quality he does have is he’s good in the air.

School of Thought #2 ‘He’s a young Drogba’

I’m sure this has stuck from the time Roy Keane said he was the best forward in the country and he wouldn’t sell him for £20M. It was Keane who compared him to Drogba, and others also believe he will develop into the same type of player and that currently he is simply a young version of the Chelsea striker (without the diving). Simply needs to mature as a player before the class shines through. Can you see it? I can’t. Maybe I’m not looking hard enough.

The only question that should be asked (if this deal was to get back on track)? Is he what we need? I’d say what we need at the moment is a foil for Defoe. I don’t have faith in Bent and I think Pav would also probably benefit from a foilesque type of player.

Both JD and Pav are potentially 15-20 goals per season players, if partnered up well (whether that’s together is something Harry needs to work out). So, Jones – or whoever we look at as an alternative – is going to be our 3rd option. And that would have to be a bit of a lump with a touch of pace. Would also be a bonus if he had a good touch and finishing abilities.

Jones is big and can put himself about. And he has pace. And he also fits the Redknapp seal of approval. He’s the type of player he goes for. Obviously, considering we have enquired/bid for him. We also need someone who is strong in the air, and there’s no doubting this particular trait of Jones.

So is he the right forward to help complete the required trinity for survival and progression? Goals have dried up at the Lane since Berba and Keano moved on.

Regardless of whether he is closer to Cole than he is to Drogba (I still don't see it) or somewhere in the middle of the two.

Would you swap him for Bent? Would Sunderland be silly enough to take Bent?

With us being far from safe in our Prem League standing, does Jones fit the bill with the task at hand? If he doesn’t, who does?

Payment plan for Palacios?

According to Wigan boss Steve Bruce, the size of the fee has been agreed between Spurs and the Latics for holding midfielder Wilson Palacios. But as far as the payment is concerned, Bruce has stated that our dear esteemed chairman wants to pay if over something like 55 years.

Obviously a slight exaggeration. It's probably more like 48 years.

Honestly Daniel. Look for those extra pennies behind the sofa and if need be, smash that piggy bank you've got in your office and try and be a little more reasonable with the offer. Or maybe sell the Opus for a discounted price of £3,500 (bargin!).

Have we run out of those £15M reserve transfer buckets?

Still on the Palacios story, loving the piece in the Daily Mail about how Wilson will reject Spurs and stay at Wigan till the end of the season. That's not the bit I smiled at. The part that says Wigan are reluctant to do business with Spurs - much like Sunderland, West Ham, Pompey and Boro having been 'aggrieved' at the way we have gone about our business.

So let's take a look at how we've gone about it.

Who revealed to the media that a bid had been made for Palacios? Wigan.
Who revealed to the media that bids had been made for Bellamy? West Ham.
Who revealed to the media that a bid had been made for Jones? Sunderland.

As for Downing. All Redknapp did (I'm not too critical of him in this case) was answer a direct question from a journalist. Not exactly with the style of a Rafa or Sir Alex either. After that point, it's Boro who did all the 'talking' via the media.

In fact, I see no 'scatter gun' approach in the way we have gone about our (lack of) business this Jan window. We made enquiries, made bids and that is it. If clubs then want to make comments after the fact, that's their prerogative.

For now, all we can do is sit back and wait for an official word from the clubs in question. Then let the media tell everyone like they knew all along.

Hughes 1 Harry 0

The Times are apparently reporting that Man City will pull out of the deal for Palacios if Spurs end their interest in Craig Bellamy. Basically, we've both bid for the West Ham striker (our bid is surprisingly more according to reports this evening but West Ham do not want to do business with us). Bellamy might fancy a move to Spurs over City, so Hughes is obviously frustrated with our persistent bids distracting the player from joining him at Eastlands.

You following this? Reading between the lines, City don't actually want Palacios, but using the art of bluffing, are suggesting they could easily beat us to his signature, so if we want Wilson we have to end our interest in Bellmay.

So ridiculous, it just might be true.

Or maybe we're not really in for Bellamy. Hmm...

31 Days in January, 31 too many

Craig Bellamy has apparently gone on strike at West Ham to force them to accept a transfer bid from Spurs. No word on Appiah and whether his trial was successful enough to earn him a contract. Palacios has been virtually done for the past 6 hours, long enough it would seem for Utd and City to now be linked to the player. Jenas isn't going anywhere, which sounds like a description of him running around the midfield area looking for the ball. Bored of Adriano? Don't fret, because Crespo has now rejected us. Bless him. He actually thinks we were interested.

The Sunderland boss had a right old ding-dong go at us for chasing every player in the league, and using the media to do so (the old tap-dance trick), including the courting of his very own Kenwyne Jones. Even though, I'm pretty sure half the time Redknapp is reacting to questions asked after we've made a bid. So either (as 'arry has pointed out) someone within Spurs is leaking information, or agents are doing it once the player finds out a bid has been made for them. It's nothing new. Much like the over-inflated asking prices of said players. Including Jones by the way. Is £15M the new £5M? Did we learn nothing from the Darren Bent transfer? Why do we even encourage this? Keep paying it, they'll keep charging it.

Yes. It's January. And I'm uninspired. So much rumorwhoring. We've obviously bid for a number of players, and inquired for a few. Nothing unusual or unexpected in that. Not sure I agree with the likes of Jones and Bellamy, especially if I'm wearing my Future Hat™. Are these textbook Spurs player we'd sign under any other circumstance? However, if I'm sporting my Present Day Scarf™, then players of this ilk are possibly worthy of having in a relegation scrap. But how far can they take us?

See the paradox there? I seem to want to avoid relegation with the right type of player but also can't help thinking about how these signings will affect us later when we attempt to push forward to the giddy heights we lust for. But alas, gone it seems are the Berbatovesque type of sexy signings usually associated with N17. But is that a bad thing? Could you handle us signing a sublime player only to see him move on the moment Fergie gives him the wink? And sexy signings haven't ever given us the right winning mentality. Few Spurs sides over the past 10-15 years have had that element of ruthlessness. But boy, can we skip and shake our booty now and again.

Arguably, you could say Defoe was a superfluous signing. A sexy signing (which is anything that has Spurs fan's proclaiming the Second Coming). He's an ex-player, returning after a year gone. Cue the 'he's back home' sound-bites. But the Defoe who lost form isn't the type of player we'd want in a scrap. But then that Defoe had to contend with watching Keane and Berbatov strike up a partnership made in heaven. Anyone would suffer and want to get away from that. Way too much tongue and lingering looks between those two.

Palacios, though is one of those proper players Harry needs to help bulk up the team, but Palacios worked well for Wigan based on the fact that Wigan have structure and players who support each other and function within the tactics layed out. Wilson will have no time to bed-in, so trust is with Harry to know exactly how he plans to line-up his post-January Spurs side.

Being linked constantly to forwards rather than a left-winger is also reason to nervously crawl into a corner and sway backwards and forwards very slowly. Downing appears to be a non-starter, so who's the next lucky player to be tagged triffic by 'arry?

And am I a snob to stick my nose up at Bellamy? Or should I simply point to his general moaning attitude, injury issues and poor goal ratio as reason enough for us to keep the faith in our Russian lad?

So we are back to waiting and placing that ever so hard to part with trust in the manager and (gulp) chairman. Harry brings in the 'right' players, instils a backbone to the side, and we climb out of danger and away from the mire and settle for the comfort of 14th place. It's a nosebleed I'm sure we can all keep under control.

But then what? Levy's grand plan of buying young British players with sell-on value is non-existent. He's got a brand spanking new Stadium to think about. So having spent millions upon millions to compete for 4th spot, we are now spending millions to get out of the bottom three and if we do (which I'm sure we will) we'll have to spend millions more to relaunch the Top 4 dream, resorting back to bringing in those quintessential Tottenham flair players (because we're not happy without them). And we'll be back to where we were 3 or so years ago. Which means..............YES! WE'VE GOT OUR TOTTENHAM BACK!

I understand the masterplan now. Be patient, and we'll be back to our Barcelona shirt-wearing best in no time.

If only January never existed. Every day seems to last forever with the constant breaking news and inside information forum exclusive and yellow ticker on Sky Sports News.

15 days left. Wake me up in 16.

It's a mad mad mad mad world...

Can someone find a moment to help me define what exactly constitutes a ‘flop’? Because Gio do Santos appears to be the very personification of one according the media who, almost every other week, like to tell us that he isn’t wanted by Spurs and that he is set to be shifted out (PSG the current tabloid choice of the week).

This is the same Gio that Harry Redknapp couldn’t wait to have back from injury. Oh yes, the wee lad has been out for a while and hasn’t been able to play. Did you not know that? Regardless of his injury how dare he fail to impress chilling on the treatment table listening to his ipod. What a waste of money hey?

Honestly, get a grip.

I know it’s the Jan transfer window and it’s the time of year when journalists, sports writers and editors all over the country lobotomise each other with pencils as they conduct a symphony of monkeys on typewriters who churn out transfer story after transfer story to the theme tune of Saint and Greavise. What? You thought Jenas to Madrid wrote itself?

We all know that the stories we read whilst munching on our coco-pops are an amalgamation of half-truths, guess-work, the bleeding obvious and agent whispers. Add to the mix Harry Redknapp and his batphone and the press are practically drowning in gossip column exclusives.

Gio is a talent. He’s young and proven at all international levels he’s appeared at for Mexico. Not the finished article by a longshot. He obviously isn’t as naturally gifted or talented as Bojan or Messi – but then you’ll be hard pressed to find players of the same age who are. He left Barcelona simply because of the likes of Messi. There’s no way in for him. Joining Spurs and finding himself playing for a team with no direction, structure or confidence isn’t the ideal way to kick-start your life in the Premiership. Getting injured and being out for a lengthy period sort of puts the dampers on any type of progression.

So unless Redknapp is telling fibs (that’s unpossible) why on earth would we want to get rid of a player that hasn’t had a chance to shine? A creative player, one that tore it up in the U17 World Cup back in 2005 and again in the U20 World Cup in ’07. A player we could do with as an option once we sign some 'proper' up-for-a-relegation-battle fighters to give us the required backbone to help protect him as he dinks down the wing.

Gio isn’t the only player ‘on his way’ according to our esteemed journo friends and their monkey companions. Bentley is also on the list. It’s fair to say he has been a titanic disappointment. Here’s a player that is basically very decent on his day. He isn’t great, but he’s very good and would grace practically all Prem clubs (apart from the top 4 who do possesses ‘great’ quality). However, our David, is too distracted by the fact that he thinks he’s great. Highlights and Beckham comparisons aside, when he isn’t star-jumping David is trying way too hard rather than simply playing for the team and doing the simple things. We’ve seen this before. We saw it with Gomes. Confidence is drained and you can’t even muster up school-boy basics. But selling him so soon after signing him is a pointless exercise (although if there is one club that is masterful at being pointless it's us). If Spurs manage to claw back some form, Bentley will most likely begin to shine.

He’s still actually the wrong type of player for Spurs. A bit superfluous at times, even when ‘on form’. Not the backbone made of steel type of team player Spurs have been crying out for 20 years. But then when have we ever gone out and signed the right type of player?

Another one who is set to leave WHL is our dear beloved Jermaine Jenas. The perpetually potentially 'great' box-2-box player. An enigma. Undroppable for so many seasons at Spurs, doesn’t do much unless it’s against the likes of Derby or a depleted Arsenal side. Yet on occasions is somehow inexplicable ‘missed’ from the team when he doesn’t play. You know what I mean? You’ve heard Spurs fans say it:

“I hate to say it, but we missed Jenas today”

You can’t explain why, but you find yourself believing it and when he does play, you’re smashing the keyboard as you punch your frustrations posting on a Spurs message board calling him 'useless'. What does Jenas do exactly? It's not an easy question to answer.

JJ has been linked with (as mentioned earlier) Madrid and also Everton and Wigan and probably one or two other clubs, with his value measured between £3.5M to £8M. If Palacios arrives at the Lane (and he plays as a DM) then is it really Jenas under threat or Zokora? Or will Harry play Palacios and Zokora together? And what of Appiah? Is he the backup plan in case we fail to bring in a bog-standard £15M (or so) signing? Palacios and Modric in centre-mid will do me just fine.

Then you have the forwards. Defoe (can he actually hold up the ball or beat the offside trap?), Pav (he's not been the country for long) and Bent (on his way to Villa?). A mish-mash of styles, none of them suited to play with each other. Otherwise, why would we be courting the ever-smiling Craig 'who took a dump in my corn flakes?' Bellamy?

Then there’s the story that has somehow fallen under the media's radar concerning Arshavin. Arsenal haven’t actually made a bid (which explains Latcher’s insistent moaning) and Spurs and Zenit have long agreed a deal, the basis being that if nobody matches it then he signs for Spurs. Yep, that’s right. Transfer fee as well as personal terms all agreed and sorted. It was all agreed and sorted back at the last deadline, till around 11:40pm when Zenit started playing silly buggers again and the deal failed to complete by midnight. But the agreement stayed in place. If nobody bids the exact same amount of more, then Zenit have to process the deal cometh the deadline. And when is the deadline? 16th January. Today. Must be true cause I read it in an internet fourm, LOLZ.

If you’re going to ask me to hold onto my hat, don’t bother. I’ll probably be eating it later on. If those pesky monkeys haven’t got a hold of it before me.

Palacios again

Palacios. What is it with every player being priced up around the £15M mark? I guess they see us mugs coming from a mile away. It's Spurs. They don't pay a penny less for a player. What is utterly insane is that we are probably going to fork out the cash for this one.

That's a player who cost Wigan £1M (actually, probably about 750,000k to be exact). But for the sake of argument, let's round it off to £1M, because it makes it easy to then say Wigan want 14 times as much money as they parted with 12 months ago.

How does that even make sense?

Over at Eastlands, incredibly, it looks like Kaka might actually join City. Regardless of whether its because his dad is going to earn a cool 35 million euros (allegedly) from the transfer (baby Jesus would approve) how exactly is it right for a player like Kaka to turn his back on AC Milan and sign for Manchester City? Football is imploding. There are some things that should never happen in football, and this is one of them.

RIP. Thoughts and prayers for the beautiful game.

Who's brave enough to wear Lilywhite?

Not that many it would appear.

Roman Bednár has been linked. He's the one scoring the goals for WBA. Tidy player for a club like WBA. But I get the raziaks when I start to considering these type of signings as the answer to our problems. Not that I didn't get the raziaks when we signed Bent and placed all our eggs on Pav's head (which explains his lack of movement).

Elsewhere, Real Madrid have appeared to lost interested in signing Jenas. Possibly admitting defeat when they discovered Wigan are interested (Madrid will have to do with Ronaldo so tough luck). From the Spurs perspective, its us who want a Wigan player (Palacios) and want to swap JJ and cash for him. Everton also linked in a £3.5M for our midfield Jenuis. Which is laughable. Hot air is worth much more than that, thanks to the mugs who would pay out twice us much. Sorry, what's that? Oh yeah. He plays for Spurs already.

Levy has rejected a £8M bid for Bent. This the same Darren Bent who had a storming pre-season, did nothing for ages, re-discovered his form and played for England, then lost it again and now looks dis-interested. Can't play upfront with Pav (and vice-versa) and probably won't play all that well with Defoe (who struggles to play well with any player in white, apart from Mido. Is he available?).

If that’s not enough, how about Adriano for Bale? Thank you to The Sun for posh people, the Daily Mail for that particular transfer nugget.

His name was Prince

And off he goes. Kevin Prince Boateng has joined Dortmund on loan till the end of the season. That's one of the players Harry in-directly slated the other day as not being good enough. I guess all the Comolli signed 'youngsters' are going to be farmed out now. So one hopes new arrivals are imminent, otherwise we are left with even less depth in an already unbalanced squad.

Gomes (someone bid £7M for him - but it's been rejected) looks like staying, which is actually a relief. He's fought back well from his early season disasters.

Downing is dead in the water. Not literally, that would be homicide. Gibson is unmoveable on the subject that no Boro players will be leaving the Riverside. Which is fine. If it was up to me, nobody from Middlesbrough would be allowed to leave the town. Ever. I'd have a wall built around the place.