SSN (Spooky Sports News) Morning Report

So, footballer Pascal Chimbonda has declared he is on his way to Newcastle because…well, let him tell you himself:

“Kevin Keegan has approached me and they’ve offered me more money. I am definitely leaving Spurs. It’s all about the money. I don’t care about the final, I don’t care about the cup.”

What a prick. For the record, you’ve had about two decent games this season. Liability better spent lazing around in the Newcastle defence rather than ours. Not exactly surprising he is moving on so quickly. He shafted Wigan. He was always going to shaft us. Although it's far more likely that he is going because we (Ramos) doesn't rate him. Hence the Hutton chasing and the fact that we haven't denied he wont be sold.

Although, as a disclamier, maybe the quotes have been made up. It is, after all, The Sun who run the story.

Classy

Robbo has come out all guns blazing:

(From Sky Sports News)

"It's not exactly a fall-out. I was disappointed to be left out - like any professional would be - but I'm certainly not angry at being dropped by the team if you like. Every professional player gets phases like that in their career. If the manager decides I'm not performing and I'm not up the standard he wants at the time then he picks the team and I can't argue with that. I was disappointed with the way the situation was handled let's say. I saw reports yesterday saying I've put in a transfer request, I've never put in a transfer request."

"Definitely not. However, any professional worth their salt wants to play. If I don't play between now and the summer I've got a decision to make. If the club turn around to me and say I've got no future at the club then that's a whole different situation. As of yet that's not the situation.

The press and media seem to be having a lot of fun and games at my expense recently and I seem to be reading stuff day in, day out. The truth of the matter is I'm getting my head down and working as hard as I possibly can to get my place back. I've taken a lot of criticism over the last 12 months. I think it's affected me. I think it's unfair. At times my confidence has dipped, but I'm rebuilding it again."

At least he has admitted he has been affected by it all (self-inflicted though Robbo mate), all though less of the ‘unfair’ and more of the 'rebuilding' should be the way forward for him. Time will tell if Ramos has dropped Robinson so that the player can prove his true worth to the team by fighting back into first team selection and recapturing his past form. Or if he has simply paved the way for a transfer. Spurs will buy a keeper in the summer for sure, with Cerny on his way home when his loan finishes. Whether Robinson will be number one or not down the player. He wont stay at the club if he is number two, and will be flushed faster than your first dump in the morning.

Then we have Woodgate. The Darren Anderton of the defensive world. Hardly ever fit (although unfair to say he hasn't done ok this season). So quality when he is fit, but….but always a risk of a break down. Are we aiming to bid for as many 'not sure I want him' players as possible? First the one dimensional Downing and now a crock. With King back in the team and Dawson finding his form because King is back in the team, the last thing we want (if King gets injured) is a player who probably won’t be fit at any given time. Although I shouldn’t be that scared of this going through, as the likelihood of Wodogate failing his medical is very probable. Surely the world pool of available players is massive. Is Comolli scouting via the BBC’s squad selector? Jesus wept.

Its the 25th January. There's not that long to go before the transfer window shuts.

Still no central defender.
Still no right-back.
Still no defensive midfielder.
Still no creative midfielder.

Although potentially:

Still no central defender. Woodgate.
Still no right-back. Hutton.
Still no defensive midfielder. Tiago.
Still no creative midfielder. Jenas (to blossom under Ramos).

Is this the way forward?

I'll ask again in a month.

Diarra agrees Pompey deal

3.5 Year deal. I suppose on the plus side, you could argue the players attitude sucks if he's not gonna stay and fight for a place (twice now, leaving London clubs). No other 'big' club came in for him. Or you could say he is ambitious and as a full French international, good enough for any team. Nah, I'd go with 'no desire to fight for a place'. Exactly what we DON'T want at the club. And whether it was a case that:

a) We wouldn't pay him enough
b) Offer him guaranteed first team football
c) Wenger wouldn't sell him to us

....he hasn't actually committed himself to Pompey for long (shop window anyone?) which suggests he will look to move again. You'd think playing for us is a far more productive shop window to be in. Would be interesting to know who Spurs will line-up as a proper defensive mid. I'd much prefer we go for a 25/27 year old rather than another youngster who might be decent in time.

Diarra hasn't been able to show the world what he can do (for club). He has his chance now, just not in a Lilywhite shirt.

Downing

My question is, does Ramos know who Stewart Downing is? Does he know what type of player he is? Is he a Levy/Comolli signing or has our new manager had some input on this? I wonder how the conversation went....

Comolli: Hi. I got a player for you.

Ramos: A central defender?

Comolli: No.

Ramos: Another right-back? A central defender?

Comolli: No. No.

Ramos: Defensive midfielder?

Comolli: Nope.

Ramos: Keeper!!! Keeper!!!

Comolli: No.

Ramos: Please, not another...how do you say....sarding...

Comolli: ...sodding...

Ramos:.....sodding striker.

Comolli: No.

Ramos: What? What do you have?

Comolli: A left winger.

Ramos: Riiiiiight. That is exactly what we need this moment. Good thinking. Who?

Comolli: Downing.

Ramos: dos Downing? Mexican?

Comolli: Nope. From Middlesbrough.

Ramos: (laughs) Oh, you are serious. What are his abilities?

Comolli: He cant beat a man, will never be world-class, sometimes inconsistent but can cross the ball. Will frustrate fans.

Ramos: Ok. A squad player. For backup?

Comolli: No. First teamer. Big signing.

Ramos: How much for this Drowning?

Comolli: £12M. More if we can get Boro to take the money.

Ramos: You are fucking shit at your job, do you know that?

Comolli: Your English has improved.

Ramos: Call me a taxi.

Alan Hutton

Massive rumours going around that we've paid somewhere in the region of £8M-£9M for Rangers attacking (right) full back, Alan Hutton.

You just can't make stuff like this up, can you?

Riquelme

Riquelme's agent (yesterday evening) was on various late night football shows on Spanish radio (cadena ser, radio Marca etc) and stated that Tottenham's offer of 15 million euros for Riquelme is the best that the club has received and that Villarreal are happy with it. AS and Marca all over this as well now. Seems that our director of football is busy trying to rose-tint the steaming pile of shit that Levy has created for himself.

I'd be shocked and surprised if Riquelme decides to join us.

Petrov signs for City

Some Spurs fans are concluding that Spurs were never in for him. They cant believe for a second he would choose them over us, considering his mate Berbatov plays in Lilywhite and considering we have UEFA Cup football and are generally in a far better state then they are ( City are are rebuilding from scratch).

If we were genuinely not interested then, why? He plays with Berbatov at International level. He has a proven track record. He's a big game player. And he's available.

If we were genuinely interested in him and he rejected us, then this simply illustrates that we dither far too long with signing players.

The left-sided 'problem' remains unresolved. I await to say what all the 'In the Know' gollums have to say about this 'nearly' signing.

Petrov on his way, Shirely?

He's meeting with his agent and Comolli today. Levy has apparently delayed flying out to South Africa in order to help conclude the deal.

Therefore, if the deal fails I will hold him personally responsible for pro-longing the left-side problem we've had for the best part of forever.

Rose

The young lad is still apparently on his way to us. Has the same agent has Lennon and Huddlestone, so should be the new member of the Bling Squad anytime soon.

Oh, and he's a Spurs fan apparently. Hmmm. Much in the same way as Teddy Sheringham supports West Ham.

Liverpool are/were interested, but he's got his heart set on drinking with Aaron and Tommy.

At the age of 17, not too sure how much of a part he will play this coming season. Off the pitch, I'm sure he will look dapper in designer chav gear.

Latest Whorage

Kevin Prince Boateng's move has stalled. Apparently we are attempting to stagger payments for the player due to his injury record. Has been spotted in London as recent as yesterday, so should still happen.

SWP. Well, according the Daily Mirror, Kenyon doesn’t want to sell him to us because we might be capable of challenging for the title in a couple of seasons. Doubtful this is true. Chelsea fans are scared of us, but at management level they are way too arrogant to bother with the little teams. Another interesting sidenote is that Kenyon has also apparently commented that if Spurs and another club matched Chelsea’s valuation of the player, Wright-Phillips would choose Spurs. Don’t expect anything to happen on this till the scum return from their US tour.

Danny Rose. Done and dusted.

Petrov. Depends what you believe. Some say this will happen if we don’t sign SWP, even though they play on opposite sides of the wing. Has always been linked to us. Unclear on whether this is just press speculation or mis-direction from the club.

Rodrigo Palacio

You might have read something in the press about him. Argentine goal-ace who plays his football for Boco. Arsenal were rumoured to be preparing a £15M bid for him, all according to 'reports from South America'. All the media covered the story of how the player had rejected Barcelona (not wanting to play second-fiddle to Henry) and was now set to join the club from Woolwich.

'Ideal replacement' for Henry. Best striker in Argentina.

Oh hum. Its turned out to be a fake story. Yes, the player is real. His transfer to the Prem isn't.

The 'story' was probably made up on an Internet message board and once more proves what utter mugs the British press are, willing to copy and paste anything to help sell papers for cheap football headline frills and 'I told you so' rights so they can print photos of their previous exclusive article a week later to prove to everyone that they broke the story first.

Pathetic. Its one continuous mugging off session for 'Englands finest' red tops, which will end when the transfer window shuts.

Enjoy it.

The next 'nearly signing'

Never seen him play, but must be good cause he's got tattoos

Martin Jol is ready to add to his summer spending after bidding around £5million for controversial Hertha Berlin midfielder Kevin-Prince Boateng.

The 20-year-old's attacking qualities have made him one of the Bundesliga's most talked about newcomers and he has attracted an offer from Sevilla as well as Tottenham.

But the Germany Under 21 star is renowned just as much for his outspoken approach off the pitch after calling himself the Ghetto Kid, in a reference to his upbringing in a poverty-stricken district of Berlin, and covering his arms in tattoos.

Hertha boss Dieter Hoeness responded to Sevilla's £2m offer for Boateng by revealing the club had received a £5m bid from another club, believed to be Spurs.

Boateng, who has a Ghanaian father and German mother, has enjoyed a rapid rise to prominence during a run of 43 Bundesliga appearances and is rated one of the German league's most creative talents.

This would be a quinessential Levy signing. Young, athletic and with a potentially decent re-sale value. By all accounts Boateng is a fiery lad with a massive ego (think Gahly with actual ability....though that's still not saying much).

A quick search of transfer rumour sites will list various links to the player dating back to the 9th May. So, someone is obviously dithering. I'd rather he signed for Sevilla (who have had a £2M bid rejected because we have apparently offered £5M) than have to put up with another Diego Ribas da Cunha'esque transfer rollercoaster.

Much needed metal for central midfield position. Though not quite the leader/defensive midfielder we need.

I'll consider this signing a sexy risk. The sexisk Boateng could bring to us that Gascoigne element that we have lacked for so long.

However, Sevilla (and Champions League Football) would suggest that Levy may fail on this particular transfer. But then, its also dependent on whether the La Liga side wish to up their bid by a further £3M or so.

Still no sign of a left-winger. Unless you believe the Petrov stories doing the rounds. Which I dont.

Spurs back in for 'The Sock'

We are apparently keeping tabs on the Brazilian flair-induced central midfielder Diego Ribas da Cunha aka The Sock. The player we 'almost' signed back in 2003 when Pleat made several trips to South America but failed to claim the players signature, sadly due to several possible reasons. No work permit, no Sock was one of the popular 'excuses of failure'. There were also apparently a number of issues relating to the players rights (the dad part-owned him or something equally silly). Though the main reason was down to a sudden change of heart by the chairman of Santos, where Diego played at the time. All a bit of a mess.

The Sock

Anyways thats all history now and he ended up at Porto (not a great experience) but has since moved to Germany, playing for Werder Bremen. He's had an impressive season in the Bundesliga (36 games, 14 goals) and his goal at the new Wembley against England appears to have re-ignited our interest. Seems the buzz is that Levy and Damien Comolli (as suggested by various sources) want a true 'Tottenhamesque' style player to have a genuine spark from midfield to attack in the creative stakes.

Diego (Creative Midfield) - Berbatov (Creative Forward)

Does look good on a blog, doesn't it? Levy and Comolli are thinking 'Osvaldo Ardiles' (same type of height, but more tanned and Brazilian), and with the success of another short player in his debut season in England (Carlos Tevez) they feel that a South American in the Premiership may not be the daunting challenge many feared it can be.

I think this is the first thing Levy has done that I find myself happy with, excluding giving Block 34 a female steward.

So, the source of this information? Well its an agency, partly based out in Germany, who deal with footballers. And much like any line of business, people talk and people gossip. There was initial interest from an unnamed Spanish club who then cooled their advances. This may have played a part with our rekindled interest, with Comolli initially keeping an eye on things. Spurs then approached Bremen (all above board) but were knocked back. Diego's agent is playing the textbook 'One club is interested, let me spread the word' tactic. This suggests that they maybe after a more improved contract with the Germans. However Diego is apparently keen to listen to what we have to say (though expect other clubs to also show interest - and Diego's agent to 'whore' the little Brazilian magician to Italy and Spain). But our strong point in all this is routed back in the year 2003 with the way Diego was treated (very very well) by Pleat and the club when we looked to bring him to London first time round. Diego hasn't forgotten this.

Maybe Levy and Comolli should sub-contract Pleat and outsource this particular potential transfer to someone who knows Diego and his family (if be it for a short term a few years back).

In all seriousness, no idea on the fee being touted, but probably relatively cheap in todays market (around £13M).

First hurdle is getting past Bremen. Might not be too much of an issue, as rumours of a clause in Diego's contract might make things interesting over the next month or so.

And why should I believe any of this? This particular 'source' came good on three previous transfers - in the past 2 years - before they happened (before they hit the press or the forums). Not saying Spurs deals, but they involved three prominent high profile players. The information wasn't shared on those occasions, at least not publicly. And all three signings happened, as stated by this person.

Thought this one was too good to pass up and not blog it. Hope its not jinxed now.