Ramos speaks (via a ghost writer)

Official site posted an interview with Ramos the other day. Help calm us down was the point of the piece, I'm sure. Here it is, with some comments from myself.

The interview (click on the link above if you want to see it on the Spurs site) has the heading 'Its down to us'. Hmm. Some one over at THFC HQ is a genius.

Q) What is your opinion on our start to the season and the position we find ourselves in?

A) Juande Ramos: We had such a good pre-season, we played well, we were confident but now we've started the season with disappointing scorelines and it's a situation we need to change quickly.

After every match we need to change quickly. But we appear to be quickly doing nothing about it. It’s the same performance replayed for our unified misery. Players performing well in pre-season simply means that mentality they can swagger around the pitch in nothing games, but do nothing in games that actually matter. The mental strength of that Carling Cup run has never materialised in the league. Why?

Q) How do you feel when people tell you it is the worst start Spurs have made for 53 years?

A) JR: I don't like it and we have to work hard to change the situation and myself, the coaches and the players are prepared to do that.

To dare is to do, right? Well, how about stepping up? There’s this argument, that no matter the standard of players, if effort and spirit is evident in abundance they can overcome better teams. It’s what happens in giant killing moments in Cup football. Or when smaller unfancied teams turn over the likes of Utd. So surely, Spurs, a team of players earning staggering amounts in wages – surely on any given Saturday or Sunday they can play their hearts out. Because if they did, we wouldn’t mind so much if we kept losing.

Well, we would, but the effort would not go unnoticed. Instead, all we see is a team under performing to the point of dire mediocre levels. So, is this team, this squad of players, so disjointed and uneven that they fail to ignite any type of spark? Or is it a tactical failure? Being prepared to help get ourselves out of this mess is a consequence of not being prepared when we kick started our season at Boro.

On paper, there have been a dozen or so worse teams that Spurs in the past 53 years, who haven’t started this poorly. Time Ramos took a risk with his selection. Time the players stopped talking about ‘top 4’ and ‘Champions League’ and started to accept they are bottom because they are playing shit.

Q) What is being done to change the situation?

A) JR: It's only possible if we work very hard, have confidence in our ability and the team is together. This is the principal way to change the situation.

Work hard. Have confidence. Togetherness. Every time I watch MotD I see these basic, fundamentals in every other Prem club. Sure, some are lowly because of their lack of true quality as footballers. And others are just Newcastle (thank God for them). So it’s a worry that when all the media and pundits had as down as a dead cert for 5th spot, the players, still don’t look like they have the will to get things started. Waiting for that first win to kick start our rise up, is fine, but if it still hasn’t arrived in 5 games time, then that confidence will never see the light of day and the sheer expectation and pressure might have us buried come Christmas.

I don’t believe that it will happen. 3 or 4 wins and it will be back to mid-table happiness. But if the principal way is fruitless after next Sunday, and we lose – then the players are not reacting to Ramos and Poyet. Arguing whether that is the fault of Ramos or the players is something Spurs fans could argue about for days on end.

Q) Given the position we find ourselves in, what is your message to the supporters?

A) JR: At this difficult time we have to be positive and optimistic. I know it's difficult, but this is when the team needs the supporters. Conversely, when we're winning three or four-nil, we don't need the support as much. We have young players but players with quality and I have every confidence in the team. However, they are young, the pressure is on and it's possible the confidence is low. I'm sure when we win two or three matches that situation will change.

The fans are frustrated. Spurs supporters do not demand success to claim we should be 4th because we are Tottenham and we deserve it. This is the popular misconception, a myth. We just our ambitions as fans to be played out by the team out on the pitch. We were once the London fashion gurus. The iconic swaggering Tottenham Hotspur. Flair all around. Arsenal have that mantle now when it comes to style of football, and Chelsea have done their very best to buy up some history. Wanting something we once had isn’t a bad thing, considering we are rich, still in the Prem and spend shedloads of money.

Having the media and players bang on about our ambitions and where we should be, simply magnifies the fact that it’s all very much hype.

We have improved as a club, tenfold in the past 5 or so years. Those two Jol seasons gave hope. And maybe we should be laughed at for not seeing that it will come a cropper soon enough, like always. False dawns and all that jazz.

That’s why some fans boo. That’s why some of the home games have had a flat atmosphere. Away support is always fantastic. So yeah, I agree that Tottenham should repeat that amazing support that made a cameo in parts during the Wigan game. But if that fails to inspire the players, then believe me, people who have spent £700 on a season ticket have a God given right to boo.

Q) What was the mood in the dressing like after the match yesterday?

A) First, they were sad and logically they were angry as well. They are waiting to win. On the coach on the way home they started to think about the next match, Wisla Krakow in the UEFA Cup on Thursday. We need to win that game, we need to get through to the next round and I think we will see the best of the players.

Honestly, I will eat my hat if we beat Krakow. This season just has a feeling of it getting worse before it gets better, but I’d rather get knocked out of Europe and then climb the table into a UEFA Cup spot than get knocked out in the Q-F’s and not make Europe.

Q) What is the atmosphere at the club like at the moment?

A) JR: At this moment everyone wants to help but only the professionals on the pitch can do it. All the people want to help but I repeat, only the players and management can change this situation.

Again, players and management – you need to step up. Listening to how we need to step up after every defeat is making it worse.

Q) Do you understand the frustrations of the supporters?

A) JR: Of course - it's the same for us. I can promise everyone we are doing everything to change this situation. In football, sometimes things are difficult to explain but I'm sure we'll have fantastic support from the fans and the rest we have to do on the pitch.

If it’s the same for the players, then why do I not see any difference? Maybe every game, one player stands out, but as a team – as a unit – nothing.

Q) You chose not to play your most attacking formation against Portsmouth, why was this?

A) JR: The match was very even and the penalty against us changed the situation. In the second half a similar incident arrived and it was a possible penalty and then it was possible to draw. It's difficult. The confidence is down and we need to play with nil goals against. We are having problems scoring goals and therefore we need that security.

So basically, one up front, so we can defend more because we can’t score goals, so need that extra security. But surely we are not scoring goals because we have one up front? Very politicianesque styled answer from Ramos this one.

I thought Pompey were poor. A confident Spurs side would have beaten them. But this current Spurs lot didn’t get close. And yeah, we ain’t getting the decisions – much like many teams that struggle don’t. Enough with the feeling sorry for ourselves and the circumstance we are in. Grab the fucking game by the neck. Sweat blood. Take that risk.

Q) You have changed your formation from 4-4-2 to 4-5-1 recently- is this your preferred formation with this team or are you still trying to settle into something you are happy with?

A) JR: I prefer 4-4-2 but as I have explained before, it's possible to change. I prefer 4-4-2 but sometimes you have to look at the situation. It's always the same though. If the team is losing then people say ‘he's not changing players, how is that possible, if you are losing then change the players'. It is always about results, that is always most important.

But it’s not working is it? Changing from one to two upfront. So either stick with one formation and let them build up some kind of understanding or change the key personnel. Consistency, Christ that word, consistency is the key. Consistency losing appears to be because of uncertainty that the players manifest when the game kicks off.

Q) What is your reasoning behind rotating the players for every match? Does this destabilise the squad?

A) JR: Pavlyuchenko and Corluka can't play in Europe, Ledley King can't play in every match, Gareth Bale is injured, we have small injuries each week and I need to change three or four players every match. It's impossible to play the same players if you play every three days. We need to find the solutions. If we were winning, people would say 'perfect, he's using the squad'.

We should never have sold TT or Steed. Sure, TT is injured often himself, but there are one or two players who have left that should have been part of a squad – a stronger squad than what we have. The fact these players left and were (arguably) replaced, we still needed more cover. The forward line-up is weak. Bent gets injured, and who exactly plays Europe? The King situation is one that warrants its own blog entry. Generally speaking, I feel for Ramos here. A club that wishes to be in a certain position, needs to make those wishes a reality with impact-making transfers. Not media-friendly transfers.

Q) So the message is ‘stick together'.

A) JR: As this moment it's the most important thing - the fans need to understand that the first people who want to change the situation are the players, the management and all the people in the club. This is when we all need to work together. It's a difficult time and we all hope to change the situation.

Ok, whatever. I doubt this interview was anything more than the usual panic-station Levy propaganda piece to help appease the fans. Too much talk, not enough action.

Time to shut the fuck up, and EARN those points. Earn respect.

Ramos and Poyet, two peas in a pod

I had a conversation with a fellow Spurs fan a week before the season kicked off. He said it was IMPERATIVE we won at Boro. I agreed. Confidence wise, to win opening day, away from home, and collect 3 points would see us start on a positive. Confidence wise we would have continued on a high. But the reality was it went to shit, and got worse.

Playing one up front is OK when you play Chelsea away, but at Pompey, it's almost felt like Ramos was telling the board, "Here you go....here's the team you have built for me".

Its a mess. Which would mean the DoF isn't working the way it's meant to, because Levy stated Comolli wanted Ramos, because they could 'work' together on transfer targets.

The final 15 mins or so of the game at Portsmouth saw Ramos and Poyet sitting down, with the look of disillusion. If you wanted to be a conspiracy theorist about it, you could argue Poyet's insistent repeated post-match 'complaint' of Pav and Bent being the same type of player, thus they can't play together being a subtle hint at how unhappy management are.

Reading between the lines is all you can do until something gives.

Midnight Epiphany

I've had enough. Of Jenas. Ramos. The lot of them. We couldn't score in a brothel were all the women were knocked out from ryhypnol and tied up, bums in air, with us on a Viagra buzz. We'd still somehow, inexplicably, find our way to the cold shower and stand under it until our dicks shrivelled.

A chain reaction is required. If we lose to Hull, then Ramos should go. Taking with him the extra £5M (severance pay) and a bit that Levy got from Man Utd for Berbatov's inflated price. As much as I beat the drums for patience, if the player's can't perform for the manager next Sunday, then the fact this dismal league run stretches back to March of this year is enough for me to call time on the waiting game.

I'm being a typical fickle Spurs fan, swaying from one opinion to the next. But with Ramos (possibly, impending) departure, comes the sacking of Comolli. And possibly the surrender of the DoF concept. Expecting Levy to walk away is a bit too much at this point.

Crisis? What Crisis? Oh, that one....

5 games in and already whispers of 'crisis talks' are doing the rounds. I don't tend to believe such things, simply because I'm sure the chairman meets his manager on regular occasions, and in this case what exactly can he complain about considering the mis-management of the summer transfer dealings?

Why are results so poor?
Why are our new players not settled?
Why isn't the team playing a cohesive brand of football?
Why aren't we scoring any goals?
Why aren't we in the Top 4?

Now, the anti-Ramos amongst you might suggest that our form in the Prem since he took over has been anything but spectacular - even with Berba and Keane in the side (towards the backend of last season).

Regardless, taking this season into account only - most of the above 5 questions can be linked to the fact that we simply did not prepare for the start of this season in the right manner. I'm talking about dithering with signings. It's been mentioned before, so I won't go back over the mistakes made. Not in great detail that is.

Ramos does however need to get the best out of what he has, unless of course, he can't be arsed. But other than media rumours (all denied) there isn't much to go on other than maybe Poyet's dejected face in post-match interviews.

The players need to step up with the effort, regardless of selection. But selecting the right balance would also be a welcoming addition to our climbing the table. 'An understand' is required for any set of 11 players out on the field, to function in the right manner. Football 101 people.

A crisis talk at this stage is unlikely. Re-visit this after the Carling Cup game against Newcastle and the UEFA Cup match, with Pompey sandwiched between.

Lose all three, then media pressure along with supporter outbursts, might get trigger-happy Levy all guns blazing or see Ramos leave yet another club behind due to lack of botheredness.

For once, I'd like to see the trend bucked. Just like Utd did with Fergie. Not that I'm suggesting for a minute we have the basis for future dominance. Two wins on the trot is the only kind of achievement I'm gagging for at the minute.

As for the those questions -

1. Why are results so poor?

Results are poor, but we haven't been thrashed or out-played off the park, we've just been mediocre to the extreme. Not creating enough chances to worry the opposition which means the opposition only need a couple of decent efforts to notch up a win. Confidence has played a part, or lack of. Fundamentally, results are poor because the team is not playing like a team. Probably the only side in the Prem that has no cohesive style of play or balance backbone.

That's actually both embrassing and worrying. Regardless of the cock-up seeing us sign no class DM, if the player we have bought have come in to do a job, then the job has been left undone.

Too many luxary Rolls-Royce textbook Spurs signings. No hard grafters, to plug the holes.

Levy/Comolli are to blame. But then it's difficult to say blame also doesn't sit with Ramos. How much say he has in the signings (he is meant to have a big say, as Levy stated that the DoF works with the coach to sign players). So either Ramos was happy with the dealings come end of transfer - or he was not. If he was not, then that's going to affect our on-field performances. It's not too diffcult to state this considering our results. Ramos is chopping and changing far too much.

Is this meant to be another transitional season? If so, then enough with the 'we can finish in the top 4' - when clearly getting out of the bottom 4 is proving more difficult than some would think.

Regarding the transfer policy - it's possible the players Ramos wants, which Comolli attempted to sign, are unavailable or still 'on the cards'. Regardless, there is such a thing as 'secondary' targets. I refuse to believe that there is a lack of quality - as Levy suggested. If these guys are working hard to bring in the players - they are not working hard enough.

2. Why are our new players not settled?

Bentley - Played out of position. Therefore, uncomfortable and trying way to hard to impress, resulting in woeful 'never beat the first man' corners and set-pieces.

Modric - The 'too lightweight' for the Prem is a fallacy. He can handle himself just fine. But obviously needs time to adjust, like many players do. Not everyone settles in their first game or two. Those that do, do so because the team they are in is brimming with confidence. Modric is playing in a midfield with no support. He is doing work he should not be doing. His task should be to create, run the show. But with such a disjointed middle four, he is lost amongst the confusion. This is where a true DM would have helped the lad settle into the team. It's not been a great start. But blaming him is pathetic. Remember the abuse Carrick got? Its deja vu.

Gio - A young lad, more an impact sub at the moment. Can't be critical of him at all at the moment. He isn't the finished article by a longshot, but once (if) the team start to play with style then he will flourish, much like Lennon did in the '06 Season.

Ramos has to be responsible with this side of things. The Bentley situation is not a good one. Gomes is fine, clanger or no clanger. Corluka looks a safe bet alongside Woodgate.

3. Why isn't the team playing a cohesive brand of football?

When the summer began, you had the feeling that when Chimbonda, Steed, TT and Kaboul all left - we would be replacing the lot of them with 'squad' players, to make sure we had a squad of depth (to allow for injuries and competition). But now you wonder why we let the likes of Steed especially (our hardest worker last season) go so easily. When all this has achieved is a negative impact.

But depth of squad aside, selection wise - thing's are simply not great. If the midfield doesn't work then there is simply no pattern of play that allows players to settle into a rhythm. The front one (or two if Bent starts with Pav) is lacking understanding - which is, well, understandable. Losing Berbatov and Keane (how many times has this been mentioned now?) has impacted us greatly. So, instead of drying those tearful eyes, we seem to be unprepared for each game. There is no spark to ignite or inspire. With those two former players (Keane coming deep, Berbatov creating) there was a style of play that allowed all the players to take their roles within the team and push forward with meaning.

Now, we have two players upfront who have no support. A midfield with a poor excuse for a DM and no consistent attacking/creative option (apart from Lennon, if he starts). So all the defence can do is defend, and they don't do that especially great.

Every club has the balance, even if they are shit, they have the players in the positions the team needs to allow them to function. Some function ok, others well and others on a different level altogether - mainly because of the players they have selected. We just have a group of players, who look like they have all turned up for the first time at Hackney Marshes for a kick-around.

The irony is, the players who have left, have been 'replaced' by better quality. At least, you would think that on paper.

Again, shame on Comolli and Levy for their transfer 'mare. But Ramos must know his squads strengths and play to them. I'm glad to see O'Hara in the team. Might not be great by any means, but he has bite and energy. Lennon has to start, ahead of Bentley. If Modric comes back into the team, then Ramos has to decide who will protect him and do the midfield donkey work - but even more important is that the midfield must chase all the balls, close down the oppposition and work for each other. Modric, Lennon, Gio etc can then work towards supporting the front two players.

But all this is obvious, no? Surely the manager can see this?

Most important, due to the predicament, is the three points, no matter how. Spirit and urgency, and a bit of luck - and then consistency with the team selection to allow for that fabled 'gel factor' as the team 'get to know each other better' and begin to take shape as a unit.

We can then hopefully look to next season for that push for '4th spot' (top end of table). Unless Hutton and Bale get sold to Man Utd and Jenas finally makes that move to Real Madrid.

4. Why aren't we scoring any goals?

Same as above really, re: Decimation of the front two. Still, if you spend practically £30M on two forward players, you'd think they would develop a decent understanding sooner rather than later. But, as above, the midfield have to chip in with creating openings. And thus far, there has been very little going on.

It's all linked. Team selection> team structure > midfield balance > working partnership upfront.

5. Why aren't we in the Top 4?

What, bottom 4 isn't good enough for you? It's still got the number '4' in it.

All this talk of 'top 4' is media hype, not helped by the players and management. It's not really an expectation from the fans. It was under Jol in the first of our two 5th placements. Because we sat in that position for 4 months. But this season, even with the positivity we all had, nobody felt it was going to happen. 5th spot, yes - of course, why not. Historically, the clubs who battle for this place changes every season. Like it will do this year. And again next year. Its a cert. Spurs though - on paper - are always made fav's. Although Man City will most definetley take that honour going forward. And Villa, for their steady progress.

Levy - like any other ambitious chairman - will have 'top 4' as the mission to be accomplished. But making it a reality is something else. And making the same errors each summer will do nothing to progress the team.

We should be 4th or thereabouts had we started well (based on a dream I had). We could have had 12 or so points had we swaggered from the start.

Boro away, winnable - but tradtionally a draw.
Sunderland home, - win.
Chelsea away, - draw.
Villa home, - draw or win (based on previous seasons).
Wigan home, - win.

11 points. But that's based on the expectations relating to money spent. The team has deserved NOTHING on performance. All this 'they gave everything' sounds more like 'we don't know what's wrong and we can't stop the rot'. It's scary if you spend some time thinking about it.

We haven't swaggered since the 5-1 against Arsenal, and the Cup Final. A cameo here and there since. But nothing else. Levy has to sit back, supporting Ramos and Poyet in private, and let the two of them do what they have to do to get us up and running. Comolli has to allow Ramos to make suggestions for the Jan window (how bad is that, season under way and we are having to think about bolstering our team already). And as for the fans, more of the 'We are Tottenham' than the dismay and groaning at mis-placed passes.

Tomorrow, the circus is in town. Visiting the local circus. Clowns taking centre stage. Yes, it's Newcastle away, defending the Cup we won so brightly last term. Its a must-win....(to follow on from the 'must win' games against Villa and Wigan).

Is this the turning point? I hope so. Because going to Poland to win is going to be hellmouth.

COYS, yeah? Anyone?

~Spooky

Turning point will come

Ok. I think I had a knee-jerk reaction earlier. Not to excuse the shower of shit on display today, but the best thing for it is for these players and the management to dig deep(er) and drag us out of this mediocre slum and back to the land of the living. Starting with the defence of the Carling Cup.

The two clubs in permanent turmoil clashing for Cup honours. They need to kick-start their season. So do we. Roll on.

As for Ramos and the team. There is no need for speak about sacking the manager or the manager walking. Juande has no reason to walk. There's no pay-off if he does so - both for his reputation and his bank account. Spurs need stability and the panic button will not be pushed unless we sit in the bottom three come Christmas. Sacking him would cost Levy a fair bit (thank God we sold Berba for £30M and not £25M, hey?).

No. Let Ramos earn his wage. Get over losing the front two. Work on Bent and Pav's partnership in training. Work out the best midfield - defence and attacking duties. And get the best eleven on paper, making changes when necessary rather than drastically chopping and changing every game.

Now the optimism might be because of the rum and coke and the hooker who's about to knock on my door for a nightcap, but colour me white and blue.....this team will wake up. It has to. If it doesn't, then it fully deserves to fall into a coma and wake up to Doncaster away.

~Spooky

Ramos will bale us out

Spurs pretend-flirt with the bottom three places all the time. We lift up our short skirt and bend over, teasing ever so playfully - but never does the big cock of relegation penetrate our anus. The chastity of mid-table always retains the little dignity we possess.

Things are not exactly pretty statistically at the moment. Ramos has been Spurs boss for almost 12 months. In that time we’ve played 31 league games winning 10, drawing 10 and losing 11. We’ve notched 1 league win in our last 11 games and haven’t scored more than a single league goal since March when we won 2-0 v Pompey. Bale has played 12 league games and in those games Spurs have never registered a win.

If you take all the league games played in the calendar year of 2008 we sit second from bottom with 5 wins in 22 games (8 draws, 9 defeats). With a total of 23 points compared to Chelsea who are top with 54 points. Those 5 glorious victories came against:

Sunderland (h)
Derby (a)
West Ham (h)
Portsmouth (h)
Reading (a)

It’s all compounded further with the sorry fact that this is our worst start in 34 years. And if you want to get uber-depressive about all this (if you’re not moving to Bridgend already), this season we haven’t deserved to win any of the games we have lost. All winnable, very much, you would think and hope. But 0 points against Boro, Sunderland and Villa is exactly what our performance was deserving of. Sure, we retain the ball and pass it about, but every counter attack from the opposition seems to end with them scoring. The two goals we buried into the back of the net were both fortunate rather than something created from a spark of magic.

But in the midst of all this chaos and dejection, it’s not surprising if a first win sets us on our way. We seem to start poorly, more so these days. The higher the expectation, the more embarrassed we are. So, up and coming:

Spurs v Wilsa Karkow (UEFA Cup)
Spurs V Wigan (Prem)
Newcastle v Spurs (Carling Cup)
Pompey v Spurs (Prem)
Wilsa Karkow v Spurs (UEFA Cup)
Spurs v Hull (Prem)

6 games. Six defining matches. Thursday is an evening of football where Spurs cannot fail to impress and convince.

Ramos – play your sodding strongest side. Play to the players strengths.
As for the players – show some fucking heart, spirit and pride.

Boss the pitch. Movement with urgency and trickery. Dominate and win handsomely.

And the fans? Calm the fuck down you bunch of absolute melters. Stop obsessing with stats and harping on about Martin Jol because I’m sure the ones questioning his ‘sacking’ and wanting him back are the same tools that wanted him sacked. Jol, undermined and spent had to leave our club. 3 fucking defeats and you want Ramos out and Jol back? Honestly, I don’t know what’s worse. Being bottom of the table or listening to the fickleness that our supporters are preaching.

COYS and lock Bale in cupboard till Monday.

~Spooky

Dry them

It's simple. To any Spurs fans reading this (all three of you). Don't get your knickers in a twist about anything going on at the minute. Not until December. Then you can start your gloating or your crying, depending on circumstance. Until then, save your heart from unnecessary stress and just laugh at the calamity that burns your eyes. By listening to the critics and believing the hype birthed from those pockets of victories that falsely pass for progression you lot get a little too confused and with hearts on sleeves jump off a cliff like a lemming believing it will sprout wings.

In the past Spurs have failed to turn up when it mattered, and this season we've managed to turn up a number of times. Enough to win something. But the swagger has only made brief (if brilliant) appearances and has completely strayed away from travelling to the continent. Ton up and some with goals scored for and against at the Lane hasn't put us into a situation any better than a year or two years ago, has it? There's something there, something decent, something that could be even better. But at the minute its like searching for a diamond ring up King Kongs pile-infested crack.

Ramos has given us smiles and joy with a route to Europe, in the midst of him inheriting a side that basically, has over-achieved. Not under-achieved like you all wish to believe. Our group of players are only capable of producing the goods as a whole unit 10 times per season rather than 38 times. Yes, we can on occasions live with the best teams in the country, but so can West Ham United, and they manage to take more points off them.

So forget what Martin Jol did for us. Because it has no relevance to the present. The true impact of Ramos this season, having joined with the season already written off, has been to lay the foundations on the training field and in the kitchen. He'll salvage one or two players from the current lot, and then we'll sit back and watch Levy and Comolli spend another £50M in the summer. It's after this point that you can start analysing performance and tactics and all the other things you waste hours of your life posting about in message boards like 'In the know' info about how we are signing the new Zokora.

Two years from now, if we are not beginning another transitional period, then I'll open a bottle of twenty year old rum and have a quiet drink celebrating the progress made. If we are, I'll be shaking my fist in the general direction of Levy's seat in the directors box on match day with much veiny anger and a few choice words said under my breath before telling everyone I've only spent nearly £700 on a season ticket so I have the right to complain.

The Didier Zokora Cup Final

Chelsea 1 Tottenham 2 aet

There was a moment in this game that had me jumping around, screaming out to the heavens muttering the same word over and over and over again.

Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why.

Why Zokora? Of all the players to find himself running towards the goal, why does it have to be him? Didier, bless him, makes Steffen Freund look like Thierry Henry. But then he isn’t a goal-scoring midfielder. Even when he managed to find Cech’s head rather than the goal, he failed to compose himself and lay the ball to Berbatov or better still, find the target with the second opportunity presented to him.

See, these are the moments that pretty much define Spurs.

If only.
Almost.
Nearly.
So close.

The cruel irony is that the player who run from midfield is the one player that you know won’t be able to do what you oh so want him to do. But it was at this very moment that I had an epiphany.

Chelsea had done practically nothing all game. And rather seeing this assessment from a typical Spurs point of view, being ‘we’re gonna fuck it up’, I saw the game through the eyes of a neutral. Just for that one all-seeing moment.

There was nothing to suggest Chelsea would get something from the match. Spurs were in their ascendency. And I could see it. But before we get to this part of the game, let’s go back to the start. The opening 45 were ominous to say the least. My epiphany at this point in time was nothing but a sperm casually backstroking towards the egg.

We started brightly and created chances, but Drogba’s insistence at taking centre stage with his theatrics proved to be the dramatic catalyst for the wrong kind of breakthrough. This was Drogba’s no country for real men, and with each pathetic fall to the ground, it made me wish for an air-powered cattle gun. Yet another collapse to the ground, this time 30 yards out was definitely a free-kick, and the irony wasn’t lost on anyone.

What followed was a quirk that was probably noticed instantly by Ramos (mistakes like this are avoidable). A complete mess of a wall, built with Marmite rather than cement. Not only was it in the wrong place, but the fact King and Robinson failed to orchestrate some kind of organisation was unnerving. You could see exactly what Drogba was going to do. He tried it earlier. This time it was an open invitation. We hate it, they loved it. Drogba shots and scores. Robinson hardly moves. This time not because of consumption of pie, but rather the fact that even if he did dive in the general direction of where the ball was placed he wouldn’t even get there in time with rockets on his boots.

1-0 to them and much biting of nails insured.

One highlight from the first 45 minutes involved the Chelsea fans rising to sing a chorus of ‘Stand up if you hate Tottenham’. The Spurs fans stood up and sang ‘Stand up if you hate Arsenal’. The Chelsea faithful should really do their best to look elsewhere for that defining rivalry.

During half-time I wondered if this was going to be one of those disappointing days where efficient Chelsea do enough to stifle the game into a non-glamorous victory in their favour.

At this point I was worried. Goes without say I was enjoying the occasion, but I suddenly got sickeningly nervous of losing. Yeah sure, it’s the Carling Cup. The lickle half-breed cousin of the FA Cup. But this was Chelsea, and losing to them (and fucking ‘ell have we done a lot of that in recent years) is just not a feeling I choose to experience anymore. I hate it. I hate it more than losing to Arsenal. It’s like losing to Fulham. Why the fuck would you accept losing to Fulham?

Then there’s the fact that it’s a ticket back into the UEFA Cup. It’s not the ideal way in but it’s on offer. And with our bad start to the season costing us any true chance of finishing top 6, this is the dream ticket.

And finally, its silverware. You know. That thing other teams outside the top 4 sometimes manage to flirt with on the odd occasion the second-string eleven don’t make it through to the final. Makes the honours list look not too shabby either. What’s good for the goose...

Winning it would also make it number 15 in Cup competitions won domestically and in Europe (only Utd and Liverpool have won more). Call it just rewards for the progress made by Ramos in the short months he has been here or proof that we don’t choke when it matters. A medal of honour.

So back with the sickeningly nervous feeling, I couldn’t shake. And onto the second half.

“Huddlestone has to come on”, my mate commented.
“I can’t see where a Spurs goal is gonna come from”, I informed him a few minutes earlier.

And then Hudd came on. For Chimbonda. I burst several veins in my forehead screaming abuse at Pascal the Mercenary who was disgraceful in the ungracious manner he walked off the pitch. No urgency, no care in the world other than his vanity. And off he went down the tunnel. It’s bitterly disappointing he wasn’t sold in the January transfer window.

So with the skinny demure Hudd on, things began to change a little. A disguised pass here and there. Lennon, who might as well have been in Faces during the first half, began to show a little spark. And as I thought back to my comment about not seeing where we would score from, we go and win a penalty. Didn’t think of that one. The decision was never in doubt. Juggling the ball isn’t controversial imo. It’s nailed on, ball on the spot.

The sickeningly nervous feeling turned into a haemorrhage. Up steps Berbatov. Some Spurs fans run down to the bottom of the aisle and look upwards to the fans, preferring to watch the crowd reaction rather than the actual penalty.

Up steps the Bulgarian and in one majestically cool second we are level. Pandemonium at long last. And that little bit of hope is embracing us.

Tainio on for Steed. And Spurs continue to press and push and the tempo is now where it should be. Pace with movement and purpose. Chelsea are disjointed in comparison. Anelka isolated with zero chemistry between him and Drogba, or anyone else for that matter.

Lampard unable to control a midfield bossed by Jenas and Zokora. Jole Cole on the bench. Woodgate and King in complete command at the back for us. It’s not quite a walk in the park. More of a brisk jog with a poodle chasing behind you. But you know it’s never gonna catch up, let alone bit you on the arse. Although at this point, I still had nightmares of the poodle ripping its way through my gut like an Alien.

And then, the sperm completes its journey and my epiphany is born. The precise moment this happens is when Zokora runs through towards goal with Cech being the only person standing in the way of folklore. And you know what happens next. And nobody can believe it even though the outcome was exactly what we all knew would play out.

But when I held my head up away from my hands, I knew that this miss would not go down in history as a testament of why we always seem to fail when it matters. What had Chelsea done in the game that would lead me to believe they could go on to win it? As a Spurs fan you’d automatically think it’s more likely to be us who give something away or make a mistake. But without anchoring myself to what I would normally expect in that oh so classic defeatist manner, I was free to see the facts.

Chelsea were fucking shit and had no hope in hell of beating us. I was enlightened.

Extra-time. Jenas, not for the first time this season floats in a perfect cross and Woodgate, the most unlikely of heroes nods the ball, which is palmed back onto Woody’s face and into the net. Silk finish, it was not. But when you’ve seen Gary Mabbut score an own goal, you don’t tend to be picky about the quality of a winning goal.

It was a strange moment in the stands, at least where I was. There was almost a delay in celebrations. Fraction of a second if that. The initial header and its journey away from Cech and into Woodgate seemed to take an age. When the ball crossed the line it was Pandemonium Part II.

Keane limped off. Kaboul trotted on. Chelsea huffed and puffed without really scaring us too much, though that’s thanks to a decent stop from Robinson.

When Zokora completed his brace and overplayed a ball to Lennon that would have surely settled it beyond doubt, there was still way too much tension in the Spurs end. Not helped by David Copperfield who plucked out 3 injury time minutes to be added onto the end of the second half of extra time.

One of the best moments of the game was TT wasting time with a throw-on (good to see Spurs are finally learning to do this when it matters) and earning a yellow-card, only for Drogba to come running onto the scene to berate TT, wasting more of the precious time Chelsea had left.

And then the final whistle and 9 sodding piss poor fruitless years come to an end, and for the sixth decade on the trot our players have winner’s medals.

And we got to laugh at Drogba’s complaining to their bitter end.

Who would have ever predicated Jonathan Woodgate scoring the winning goal in a Cup Final for Spurs? Effortlessly brilliant at the back, I pray he stays fit. Same for Ledley.

Jenas and Zokora were superb in the middle of the park. Berbatov, worked hard....in fact, apart from Chimbonda, I don’t have too many complaints.

Maybe had we beaten Bolton or Boro in the final (no disrespect to either of them) then this wouldn’t mean too much. But beating Chelsea also meant that semi-final 5-1 got its icing on the cake.

Spurs stalled under Jol. We all know it. He deserves some credit for what he achieved in building the foundations, but Ramos did something that Jol could not have possibly done. And that’s masterminding the semi-final win and then lifting of the Cup.

Ramos and Poyet have galvanised us. Take this Cup success as the first hurdle crossed in the transitional cross-country race.

The players have tasted success. They have beaten a Top 4 club. They now know they have it in them. And there’s no doubt when the euphoria settles Ramos will gently ease in the mentality that next time, it should be something bigger. Something like the FA Cup, or maybe even the UEFA Cup.

We all know a sustained 4th spot position is the Holy Grail. And we all know that’s still way off. But with the chasing pack taking turns each season, it’s always open to anyone who really gives it a hard push.

So, there I was at Wembley loving every second of it.

That included Robbie Keane’s tears and utter joy at finally winning something. Berbatov also looked like something he hasn’t quite been all season. A Tottenham player. He celebrated like someone who you wouldn’t bet your money on leaving (caught up in the moment?).

And Chimbonda made an appearance along with a Spurs fan that joined in with the celebrations. The fan had more right to be there than Pascal.

Robinson can thank Cerny’s mistake for allowing him a way back into the team. Last thing he expected a few weeks back was for him to be part of the team again.

So as the fireworks fizzled out and the players disappeared down the tunnel (to finally reappear at Faces nightclub) we left Wembley happy. Chelsea fans long gone, it was pretty much the perfect Sunday.

Cheers Juande. Piece of piss wasn’t it mate?

Fools Gold

From the Daily Mail:

Ramos warns: If we sell Berbatov, this will prove Tottenham is not a big or a great club

Juande Ramos has delivered a stark warning - great clubs do not sell their best players.

With speculation rife that Tottenham are ready to offload Dimitar Berbatov for as much as £31m, Spurs boss Ramos has told the White Hart Lane board: You'd be fools to let him go.

The Spaniard insisted: "It's a logical deduction that if Tottenham sell Berbatov they are not a big club.

"I don't want to sell him. This is my message. There are very few strikers a Berba's quality. Those who do exist play for great teams in the Champions League.

"Great teams do not sell their best players and he's the only great player not in the Champions League this season."

Ramos at it again, this time (it would appear) delivering an indirect threat towards the chairman. Of course, its more likely that the Mail have taken comments from a Ramos interview and simply focused their attention on the above words and nothing else, making it a little out of context. He hasn't actually called the board 'fools' or issued a threat to the club. He's just stating the obvious outcome of selling our prized asset.

Or course, even more likely is the fact that Ramos IS indirectly telling the Spurs board to be careful. I wouldn't worry. £31M can buy us a couple of Darren Bents.

Singing from the same hymn sheet...

...isn't something we do at Spurs.

Dec 30th 2007

"Once again for the record, we are not a selling club, rather we are building for the future. When we have players on long contracts we have no need to entertain offers" - Daniel Levy

Jan 3rd 2008

"He is here now and unless somebody comes along with an offer that is too good to refuse, he will stay here and we are happy to have him" - Juande Ramos

'Bored with the Berbatov' t-shirts, anyone?

Round-up

Lacking the time to be all satirical and ‘in character’ so you’ll have to make do with a rather bland overview of the last 5 days or so until I’m back in front of a pc, drenched in inspiration and high on drugs.

Ramos has introduced an appraisal system for players and staff in order to gage their ambitions. I can see it now.

RAMOS: So, what are you ambitions?
JENAS: To learn to control the ball with my first touch.
RAMOS: That’s never going to happen.
JENAS: I scored twice against Wigan.
RAMOS: Of course you did, you’re our very own Zizou. Here’s a lollypop.
JENAS: Yeah! A lollypop! I can do it too with Kandoo!

In addition, a new diet regime is also being implemented, so expect a pouty size zero Robinson sporting a rather lush looking goalkeeper jersey soon, drinking champers and snorting coke between goal-kicks. Also, let’s take a moment to laugh out loud at the Spanish press who appear to have out-done their English counterparts. For some rather deranged reason they seem to think that Spurs have turned into Chelsea and have ‘300 Million Euros’ to spunk on players.

The following have all been recently linked:

Casillas - £25m
Villa - £30m
Xavi - £15m
Alves - £20m
Kanoute - £15m
Baptista - £10m

Add Diego Capel (Sevilla winger) to the long list of targets and endless money pit that Levy apparently has. Love the fact that all players mentioned are attackers/forwards. Even Alves is better known for his attacking prowess than his defensive duties. All very likely, no? It’s tiresome. But then this is modern day journalism. And with the Jan transfer window not too far off, its only natural the agents and tabloids go into overdrive.

And if that’s not enough, Comolli is allegedly looking at Arsenal reserve players as potential targets. It’s Christ-maaaaaaaaaaas! Let’s balance the team out with rejects from the pikey side of town. That should elevate morale with the fans. And yes, the irony that their reserves are better than our first team isn’t lost on me. It's a cruel and bitter life.

Another tale from the terraces suggests that Taarabt (depending on who tells you) wants to join Arsenal/Wenger wants to sign him. Hands up if you think he’d be in the first team squad all the time if he was a gooner or at Old Trafford? Hopefully he will impress the Ramos in training and finally get a shot at the first team proper rather than a cameo every few months. The kid has genuine world class potential. And no, I’m not talking about the Huddlestonesque kind (though if the Hudd lost some weight he just might make it). Taarabt has to be developed, something I’m much more confident will happen with the new regime than any of the past efforts. And part of that development is playing in the first team from a young age. Ask Fergie and Wenger about the success rate with taking this particular type of plunge.

Elsewhere, Spurs finally get planning permission for their new training ground, which will apparently attract world class players. Why? Will there be a poker room and pole-dancing stage with accompanying escort girls? We still await on the big talking point as to whether we are planning on re-developing WHL or moving (potentially) to a site in Enfield. As discussed before, one possible outcome is to ground share at West Ham United. Ground sharing with them lot is like asking Frank if it’s okay to share Pat Butcher in a ménage a trios. What on God’s green earth would possess you to do something so vile and disgusting?

And talking of them lot, WHU away on Sunday. A repeat of last year, thank you very much.

Elsewhere, various rumours about Ledley King doing the rounds again. One suggesting he had a setback weeks back and won’t be seen for another month or two. The other rumour, suggests he has simply been rested for 3 months as precaution (in addition to the summer months) and will be back soon. Both forum efforts these ones. Pinch of salt as per usual. Don’t cry just yet, wait for the official site to update you with the bad news.

England are back in the hunt for qualification when it seemed the dream was over. I don’t usually speak about the National side. One under-achieving team is enough to be depressed about. If we win by a few goals we finish top of the group. Knighthood back on for McClaren then. Love his thank-you speech highlighting Israel’s pride that helped ensure a shock 2-1 win. If our players had some pride we wouldn’t be relying on Russia to fuck up. Still, plenty of time for us to do just that with Croatia on Wednesday. Dear Mr McClaren, now there’s a thought…

Spurs 2 Championship Blackpool 0

Looks like Ramos will have his work cut out initially, with having to wait for the return of certain players along with the Jan transfer window before he can truly begin to shape the team to his liking.

Positives

• We won
• We didn’t concede (thanks to the woodwork)
• Robinson made two world class saves
• Lennon looks lively again
• A little bit of ye olde confidence restored

Negatives

• Robbo slipped when attempting a kick
• Kaboul had a nightmare (and managed a yellow card too)
• Defence easily beaten (remember this was against a Championship side)
• Not the performance I would have expected (where was the ‘fire in the belly’?)
• An average Premiership side would have beaten us

Ramos Watch

• Ramos wears a suit (it’s better than those silly Spurs baseball caps and tracksuits)
• Ramos is vocal and quite passionate during the course of the game. Its good to see a manager kick every ball rather than be a spectator
• Ramos appears the type to sub off any player that is not pulling his weight no matter what name is printed on the back of his shirt
• Made early substitutions (57th, 60th, 72nd) – took Kaboul off who was woeful, Keane having seen enough of him to warrant a start on Saturday (obvious one) and Bent on for Berbatov to give him a chance to impress

His comments:

"On the positive side the players showed great willingness to play and fought hard for the victory, it was physically very hard especially as it was only three days since the last game.

"I suppose the negative side is that Blackpool had three or four chances to score and we shouldn't allow those chances.

"The game was how we expected, Blackpool are from a lower league but they tried as hard as they could and gave everything.

"It was very important to get a victory to give us more security, to calm the players down a bit and give us confidence. The last results have been quite negative and we needed to stop that run of results, so to get this result was vital."

Makes me a little happy, ignoring the average performance he manages to place a little perspective to the evenings result. Realist. Pragmatic. Won’t really see the difference until after Christmas when fitness levels have improved vastly and Ramos training methods begin to show their true results on the pitch.

Spurs are bottom three because they have been toilet. Lose against Boro and its going to be a long cold winter. Draw or even a win, then confidence might result in a far quicker transition from the depths of the Prem to the dizzy heights of 15th.

The current squad, minus one or two players got us to 5th last year so the goal is to get these underachieving millionaires to fight their way back to respectability.

Good luck to the man in the suit.