Spurs pretend-flirt with the bottom three places all the time. We lift up our short skirt and bend over, teasing ever so playfully - but never does the big cock of relegation penetrate our anus. The chastity of mid-table always retains the little dignity we possess.

Things are not exactly pretty statistically at the moment. Ramos has been Spurs boss for almost 12 months. In that time we’ve played 31 league games winning 10, drawing 10 and losing 11. We’ve notched 1 league win in our last 11 games and haven’t scored more than a single league goal since March when we won 2-0 v Pompey. Bale has played 12 league games and in those games Spurs have never registered a win.

If you take all the league games played in the calendar year of 2008 we sit second from bottom with 5 wins in 22 games (8 draws, 9 defeats). With a total of 23 points compared to Chelsea who are top with 54 points. Those 5 glorious victories came against:

Sunderland (h)
Derby (a)
West Ham (h)
Portsmouth (h)
Reading (a)

It’s all compounded further with the sorry fact that this is our worst start in 34 years. And if you want to get uber-depressive about all this (if you’re not moving to Bridgend already), this season we haven’t deserved to win any of the games we have lost. All winnable, very much, you would think and hope. But 0 points against Boro, Sunderland and Villa is exactly what our performance was deserving of. Sure, we retain the ball and pass it about, but every counter attack from the opposition seems to end with them scoring. The two goals we buried into the back of the net were both fortunate rather than something created from a spark of magic.

But in the midst of all this chaos and dejection, it’s not surprising if a first win sets us on our way. We seem to start poorly, more so these days. The higher the expectation, the more embarrassed we are. So, up and coming:

Spurs v Wilsa Karkow (UEFA Cup)
Spurs V Wigan (Prem)
Newcastle v Spurs (Carling Cup)
Pompey v Spurs (Prem)
Wilsa Karkow v Spurs (UEFA Cup)
Spurs v Hull (Prem)

6 games. Six defining matches. Thursday is an evening of football where Spurs cannot fail to impress and convince.

Ramos – play your sodding strongest side. Play to the players strengths.
As for the players – show some fucking heart, spirit and pride.

Boss the pitch. Movement with urgency and trickery. Dominate and win handsomely.

And the fans? Calm the fuck down you bunch of absolute melters. Stop obsessing with stats and harping on about Martin Jol because I’m sure the ones questioning his ‘sacking’ and wanting him back are the same tools that wanted him sacked. Jol, undermined and spent had to leave our club. 3 fucking defeats and you want Ramos out and Jol back? Honestly, I don’t know what’s worse. Being bottom of the table or listening to the fickleness that our supporters are preaching.

COYS and lock Bale in cupboard till Monday.

~Spooky