Derby 0 Spurs 3

Oh, now you want me to come on? Ok, ok, if you really want me to get up then I will. Let me make sure my hair band is in place. And I need a mirror. Why is there never any mirrors in the dugouts? More instructions. YAWN. Ok, I’ll go and touch the ball once or twice and win the game for you. Because that’s what I do.

- Dimitar Berbatov, Saturday 9th Feb, away to Derby

Only our second away win this season. Not a great performance by any stretch of the imagination. But respectable in the end, only thanks to the presence of the Bulgarian who's very presence seemed to melt the Derby defence. They simply couldn't cope with the fluttering eyelashes and Andy Garcia eyes as he swooned past them. The beautiful one, ignoring the out-stretched hands which held pen and notepad for autographs, wasn't involved in the first goal, played a part in the second and scored an ice-cool penalty at the end.

Bent returned, quietly and ineffective. The obvious problem Spurs have is the inability to retain the ball when Berbatov isn't in the team. Nothing new. We've had this issue since Carrick left. And as for Bent, we don't seem to be able to fit him into the system.

Dawson is out for three weeks. Which makes the Carling Cup Final line-up of upmost importance. Two UEFA Cup games on the way before hand, best to play a strong team in the first leg, thrash them and then settle for a second string side for the home tie. Can't afford any other blips of bad luck. Although losing Daws is probably more of a blessing. Kaboul can return to the team now to add that little bit extra composure and steel. I know, I know, I crack myself up. This joke will never get tiresome. Nice goal though, it has to be said, from the trainwreck.

West Ham dropped two points, meaning 5 points seperate us. Spurs are stuck in the middle at the minute. Directly below them, Boro are top of the 'Relegation Dogfight League'. The 'ammers are bottom of the 'UEFA Cup Place League'. Were on our own in the 'We would be 4th if we didn't have such a bad start to the season had Ramos been there from the summer instead of Jol' League.

The next 6 league games will tell us if we are going to claim a spot in Europe via a league placement. If we win the Milk Cup, it won't matter. Even though it does matter.

5th, 5th, 10th just doesn't have that decent look about it.

Football matches should end at the 80th minute mark

It was painful and disappointing, but not unexpected. That’s something like 8 or 9 times now, that we’ve conceded a goal in the final seconds of a game. 11 points lost. What a difference that would make to our Prem standing (we would sit pretty, nosebleeding in 8th spot). But you know what, who cares? So Dawson scored an own goal that Tevez claimed. Can’t blame the player. Either of them. Maybe best to be critical of the fact that nobody was guarding the near post. It happens. And I would have have taken the point before the game (cliché) kicked-off so as sickening as it is to lose two with the final fumble of the ball, I’d rather take pride from stopping Man Utd from playing their 1000mph swashbuckling game and then choke on some humble pie.

We were comfortable, with Cerny not being called into action until the final 20 or so (when, if you’re a Red you would use terms like ‘we battered them’) even though we didn’t look like conceding. We held on strong for periods and when in possession we slowed the game down enough to take the pace out of Utd - who just couldn't get a stranglehold on the game. Arguably the best starting eleven in the Prem, apart from maybe Wes Brown who is their weakest link, though still good enough for most other mid-table Prem sides. If you had told me we would be leading 1-0 long into the 90th minute I would have spat out my kebab. Rooney, Scholes, that boy Ronaldo. Terrifying. And yet it was nothing of the sort.

Woodgate repeated his performance from Everton away. Assured, calm and in command (just noticed no blog entry for the drab 0-0 result, I’m sure you wont lose sleep over it). It’s now imperative that he remains constant in our back four. Fucking asking a lot there due to his injury record. And with King’s ‘disappearance’ losing Woodgate will mean Chimbonda and Huddlestone in central defence. Which isn’t ideal. Talking of Hudd, playing him in defence (in prior games) is a shrewd move to improve the player’s defensive qualities. His attacking qualities are pretty much sublime and don't need improving. Just fine-tuning. His range of passing and dinked balls with the precision of a Treadstone agent had him perform a rather perfect quarter-back role on Saturday, picking out Spurs players all over the pitch, as we broke forward. Again, the call for Spurs buying an attacking midfielder may not be necessary if the development of the current batch of players continues. Which brings me onto Jenas. Actually no, we’ll come back to him in a second.

Hutton made a solid debut, looked unfazed. Nothing spectacular, but definitely comfortable considering the occasion. I’m sure the irony of playing against the team he probably rather have signed for wasn’t lost on him. Even Dawson (hand ball in the Cup game, and own goal in this one) was immense at times. Proving that he is a decent player when he has someone of Woodgate or Kings experience by the side of him. Berbatov is outrageously brilliant, but then we all know that. He may have a fraction of the urgency and energy of Tevez but has an infinite amount of brain-lighting, splitting trees in half (trees is a metaphor for the Man Utd defence…just work with me on this one).

Keane should have made it 2-0 after Berbatov Ghosted past several red shirts. Hate the amount of times I have to state 'should'.

And then we have Jenas. A player who has always promised so much but has shown so little, and usually only in spurts against weaker opposition. Yes, his composure can be improved vastly, but his recent box-to-box form has turned him into 18-carrot gold. Energetic, hungry and fucking on fire. Has Poyet had a word, raising his confidence? Ramos worked his magic in training? Capello has noticed for sure. JJ is in the England squad and is probably worth a start. Some players have less talent but an abundance of self belief, which set them apart from the competition due to sheer determination to succeed. Others have the talent and retain the form with their sheer arrogance. Jenas far too often has buckled under the pressure of expectation. But times are changing and Jenas has been performing with zest and a rather compelling end product (though his one-on-one skills are still a tad too Keanesque). Suddenly we have our own lickle Gerrard. Just black and with a rather fruity haircut (or lack of). And now all the wasted performances are (almost) forgotten. Yes, this is Tottenham and it’s not worth getting 'too' excited until Spurs/Jenas replicate this form against both strong and weak opposition over the course of the next 3 months.

We are on the up though (copyrighted to all of Sundays and Mondays tabloids). I’m not worried about league positions at the minute, I’d prefer to look at the teams fitness and organisational sense and managerial tactics and player development. Though a continued improvement will equal a climb up the table. Thus far, Ramos has made a mockery of Jol’s reign.

Levy, using ye olde hindsight, should have sacked Jol in the summer and brought him Ramos then. As if common sense ever prevails with how Spurs manage their business. Then again, no one would have guessed that Jol was on a death march.

Anyways, decent game. Should have won it, didn’t, but enough positives to take into the next game.

Well done Spurs. Next time, make it 2-0 and bag the three points.

Weekend round-up

The less said about Dawson's handball the better. Had he not 'touched it', then Ronney would have scored anyhow. Cerny also looking to allow Robbo in with a chance to reclaim his place. Embarrassing error on his part for the third. 3-1 wasn't reflective of the performance, but once more we come out short at OT. Both sides playing open football and always looking to attack, and us being wasteful with the odd chance that could have seen us take the game to a reply. It's another run of games (lack of wins) that we need to end. Maybe next season. No? OK. Season after next. It was not too shabby this time round, just that extra bit of concentration on their part (i.e. no errors) saw them through. In fact, minus the 3rd goal and the final quarter of an hour and we pretty much controlled the game, with Jenas pulling the strings in midfield with some comfort. Bit more quality in key positions and maybe it will be 'next season'.

Woodgate has had his medical. But apparently Boro have now accepted a 3rd bid.....from Arsenal. Looks like they have their 5-1 revenge ready to hurt us.

Gilberto is on his way. Another player who has had his medical. And there's still a possibility that Hutton will sign pre-transfer window closure.

If all 3 join, that's the defence sorted. But still no defensive midfielder.

4 days left now. Still waiting on Comolli. Interesting article earlier in the week (in the Indy, I think) that covered a Ramos interview where he basically stated he had rejected 6 potential targets. Good to hear that signings are not being made over and above the manager. So if we do sign someone, we are signing someone the manager accepts as good enough player. So, no more Kabouls. That's a bonus.

WIN

So there I was. Five minutes into a relentless chorus of ‘Que Sera Sera’, with practically the whole ground joining in, arms raised, smiles all around. And Spurs go and score a 5th. We’ve beaten the scum. And we get a Cup Final as a bonus prize. Proper Glory night, bragging rights back with us. At least for the whole of Wednesday.

I forgot to buy a programme before the kick-off. Decided this was an omen. Along with the ‘1999 Worthington Cup winners’ key-ring I found when clearing out some old junk the day before the game (that sat in my pocket). In Bootlaces, before the game, I reiterated the need for self-belief, on the pitch and in the terraces. We jokingly laughed when suggesting, ‘we could do with another 5-1 semi-final win’. The footballing Gods were listening for once.

Ooh the highlights…

Jenas performance and his goading of the away support after the opening goal
Dawson regaining the ability to defend (probably because of the next guy…)
King again showing us all just how important and immense he is. Incredible the difference he can make to our defence
Tainio, doing the job Ramos expected from him
Keane's 101
Lennon on form
Berbatov’s flick (to release Lennon) and nutmeg on Gallas
The home support/atmosphere - probably the best it's been any where in the country this season
Berbatov looking genuinely happy
Arsenal fans leaving on the 60th minute mark
Adebayor/Bendtner handbags
The irony of Bendtner scoring with his head
Theo ‘Only had five touches’ Walcott

Only negative was Paul Robinson's absence at the end of the game. He ventured into the dressing room at the final whistle, thinking more about himself, as Graham Roberts put it 'first, second and third' rather than 'the club, his team-mates and the fans'. Unless of course, Robinson is on his out of the club, and 'celebrating' would be a tad too uncomfortable if he is departing. I'll leave this conspiracy for another time.

Back to the game and the Arsenal team which included (at various points in the game) Gallas (17 Prem apperances), Eduardo (13), Hleb (19), Denilson (7), Fabregas (19), Walcott (13), Gilberto (12) Adebayor (21), Bendtner (14), Sagna(21), Diaby (9).

Kids? Reserves? Excuses?

Six of these players started their last league game and nine of them played in the league game prior to their last. Yes, arguably it was a fragmented side and their defence at times was calamitous compared to their seasoned 'proper line-up'. But all we can do is attempt to defeat the opposition no matter who they are.

Arsenal had Fabianski. We had Cerny.
Hoyte? Lee.
Diaby? Tainio.
Walcott? Defoe.

Our team was made up of fringe players too. Add Huddlestone and Boateng to the list. That's a fair few. And Spurs had no World Cup winners either. See how perception works to your advantage when you want it to?

They want your autograph Cesc

Ramos and Poyet’s message to the players pre-match was simple. WIN. In fact, kudos to finally having people at Spurs who understand the art of war. None of the usual tripe our players shout before big games that result with egg-on-face. We used what Arsenal said as a motivating tool to get the players up for it. Rather than tell the world we will win, we tell the world how great they are. Thus making us the underdog and allowing the 'words' and soundbites coming out of the Emirates to motivate us for the 90 minutes.

“There were a few interviews this week and they helped us a lot. They don't realise how much they help us when they say these things. They said we were scared of them, so many things. The players proved today they have no fear of anyone.” - Poyet

All the things I (we) have asked for happened. Even when Berbatov hit the post, and I thought ‘shit, here we go again, we just can’t kill them off’ – we do just that moments into the second half. Turns out we are not a bunch of bottlers after all. A bit of confidence, tuned into the right mentality frequency with the reassurance that we are tactically spot-on under Ramos and it can come together. Spurs can defeat their demons.

It's good to see a complete unit for once, in such an important game. All players following their instructions. Tainio, bless his little cotton socks, always injured but proved his worth giving us far more experience than O’Hara and biting at the ankles of the Arsenal midfield.

This is just the one game and the one performance, but under Ramos (and in fact, this season in generally) we have not been overhauled or thrashed. We've played awful at times, but this game shows we can deliver when it matters. Granted, this was a North London Cup game and the hard graft is in the Prem, but with continued improving fitness and commitment levels and the return of key players along with new ones and the balance and growth of the team can only go one way. Above West Ham. And then a bit more further up the table.

The sudden realisation that hard work equals success has dawned on a side that has at times waited for the result to happen rather than create it themselves.

We didn’t choke. We didn’t falter. We cut them to shreds at times. We even had the luxury of taking off Berbatov and Keane with 30 minutes to go. And little surprise that Wenger once more fails to lose gracefully.

Show me a good loser and I’ll show you a loser….or something along those lines, is the excuse drummed out every time people point and wag their finger at the direction of Wenger. He apparently didn’t believe the score line represented what he saw on the pitch and that we were not the better side over two legs. Thankfully, some Arsenal fans are gracious to admit they lost to the better side – even avoiding the tiresome excuse of ‘our reserves’. It was criminal we didn’t win at the Emirates (wasteful chances) but in hindsight, it set up the game for last nights demolition.

The fact that he isn’t magnanimous about it and a couple of their players decided to have a tiff out on the pitch speaks volumes. Talking of volumes, cracking atmosphere. When we turn it on, we turn it on.

The Gooners managed a chorus of “2-0 and you fucked it up”, at half-time, but even they didn't appear too confident of the gloat. A kind reminder that was rammed down their throats in the second half. But can’t say I really spent that much time looking their way during the course of the game. The noise emanating from each side (shock horror, even the West Stand) was [cliché]electric[/cliché]. One positive about having a compact ground is the fact you can drum up that 12th man. Although the continued rise in noise levels had a lot to do with the players lifting us up for once. This wasn't just about us the fans embracing it. The players finally tasted victory over the auld enemy. Robbie Keane, 101 goals into his Spurs career, finally being able to jig his way to the win.

You have to go back to the early 80’s for the last time we smacked them this hard. And in a season where we have been involved in several end to end classics, this pulsating masterpiece (calm down) makes it all the sweeter. If you’re gonna end a record/curse/jinx, then 5-1 is pretty much fucking a.

In previous encounters Spurs have dominated large parts of the game. But that's been a trademark death-march precession, as we always end up with nothing out of the game. So near yet so far. This time round, we sat back, and killed them with the counter-attack. Very Arsenalesque.

Strength, commitment, composure, confidence all evident. With the addition of sharp quick passing. Didn't matter how long they kept the ball for, when we won it back we made it count. It was effective and it was stunning.

The difference between last years disaster (being 2-0 up) was we didn't sit back and play long balls. We hassled and passed and kept the ball when we had to (one of KPB's strengths when coming on as a sub). We carved out chances, all mostly on target, 5 hitting the back of the net.

It was beautiful. It was wonderful. It was a fucking long time coming.

Thanks for finally bucking a trend. I've missed this feeling.

Reading 0 Spurs 1 (Keane)

"Bit like having a wank. Got a result but utterly unsatisfying" - Forza Huddlestone.

The above is a text message I got at the final whistle of yesterdays away win in the FA Cup that sees us going out of the next round away to Manchester United.

No Robinson at all last night (his wife gave birth). Berbatov is ill. King was rested. Team had Cerny in goal again with a back four of Chimbonda, Dawson, Kaboul and debut boy Gunter. TT, Jenas, Prince and Steed in midfield and Keane and Defoe upfront. Keane notched up his 99th goal in Spurs colours in a game where we were pretty much comfortable for all of it (par a few decent patches of pressing from the home side). Should have come away with another goal or two. But who cares. Clean sheet, away win. At least we get to play Utd.

2-0 to them lot

Wasn't at the game, didn't stream it. From what I've been told we were pretty much shit, especially in central midfield where O'Hara and KPB struggled. The latter resorting to rugby at one desperate point in the match. Disappointing we couldn't show up for this. By all accounts, poor match lightened up by a sparkling 35 yarder. Though who wouldn't have a crack when nobody attempts to close the player down. 10 seconds is plenty of time to take aim.

King completed his third 90 minutes of football in 7 days. That's one thing to be happy about. Uncertain of young Taarabt's performance. Apparently hugged the ball a little too much. Great in possession but with no end product. Again, development for him and Jamie and Kevin being the key to avoiding transfers to the Championship.

Not going to dwell any more on this game. Bit silly if I haven't seen any footage.

The Final Third

Arsenal 1 Spurs 1

What a complete and utter crock of shit. I fucking hate London Transport. I set off from Leyton tube station in the badlands of East London, along with Spurs tourist Forza Huddlestone (a GG regular and resident of Florida) at about 6pm. If you’re familiar with that part of London you’d probably wonder why we didn’t get a bus to Walthamstow Central and hop onto the Victoria Line. Well, simple really. At that time of day, its carnage on the roads. More traffic lights than dollar notes in Bill Gates wallet. Would have taken an age to get to Walthamstow.

So with the Central Line being the best alternative, we set out for Holborn, with the intention of changing over to the Piccadilly Line and make our way to Gillespie Road. And it’s here the Fellowship of the Cup began. The train didn’t stop at Holborn, thanks to over-crowding. So, we decided to go to Oxford Circus, hop onto the Victoria Line and get to Finsbury Park. Round the houses trip. 5 minutes waiting for a train, when it finally arrived and everyone crowded on, we were told that due to something or rather (signal failure?) the train wouldn’t be moving for a bit and chances of getting to Finsbury Park were zero.

Oh, and how can I forget? Back on the Central Line I adopted a Gooner. He doesn’t live in London and wasn’t sure of an alternative route to get to the game when the train failed to stop at Holborn.

“Did I hear you’re going to the Emirates?” He asked. Smart looking bloke, but I could tell he wasn’t one of us. Evil lurked within.

“Yes mate. You’re fucking Arsenal aren’t you?” I said. He laughed.

I told him to just follow us. Turns out he had a ticket for an executive box. Staggering. Apparently the rack of ribs is the highlight of the available food for a midweek game. Posh grub only available on weekend games when the chef has more time to prepare. Better than a bagel I suppose.

One of the reasons he wasn’t pushed in front of a train (apart from the fact there were no fucking trains) was that he was happy to slag off the Emirates and the corporate fans. Probably did so to keep us onside so he wouldn't get lost in the scary underground land of the giant robotic tunnel snakes.

A bit ironic considering he was going to tuck into some ribs later on in the evening. Most Arsenal fans hate that element of their club, so they say. I’m sure if we are ever graced with a stadium of that magnitude, the same thing would befall us. Though we don’t have a Nick Hornby to help recruit cunts by the thousands.

“We get far too many people who aren’t football fans let alone Arsenal fans that come to the games”. No shit sherlock. His excuse was he doesn’t live in London.

Anyways, we decided to scrap the Victoria Line (which was later partially suspended) and make our way to Kings Cross. Bakerloo to Baker Street, only to find Kings Cross closed. Quintessential evening travel experience right there. And we were obviously not alone, with countless red and white and white and blue colours littered frantically all of the place as people tried to work out alternate escapes from the underworld.

We settled for Bakerloo to Piccadilly Circus to Gillespie Rd. No surprise the kick-off was delayed. Amazing how many barriers (figuratively speaking) supporters had to dodge in attempting to get to the game. Sods law in full effect.

Finally got to the ground, one hour and forty minutes after setting off. We said our goodbyes to Billy (the gooner). No tongues. In all seriousness, he was a good lad. He even wished us luck. Bless.

The game wasn't too shabby. Especially from our perspective. Sure, we didn’t beat them (again). If anything, the 90 minutes gave us a near perfect example of the kind of breaks the teams at the very peak of the table get. That old saying about making your own luck rings true and Arsenal proved it. Their goal was textbook. Slice of luck, deflected, off Walcott’s hand and in. He didn’t know too much about it, but that didn’t stop him goading us with the cupped ear routine. How very scum that was. Seems young Theo is fitting in perfectly well at Arsenal. Already a cunt at such an early age, skinned by O’Hara then going down Platoon style feigning a head injury but then being treated for a foot injury. Laughable and unsurprising.

The game had an element of (the required) blood and thunder, but decent flowing football seems to be the best way to hurt opposition in a NLD. Something them lot know all too well, especially against us. This time out, Wenger's superfluous kids looked shit. Especially at the back. But they still had their moments and forced a few saves and especially early on in the game, managed a few heart-in-mouth moments. We hurt them in much the same way. Good crisp attacking football.

We looked solid too. Ledley King, for the first time since his return from injury, actually looked to be back to business with some wonderful trademark tackles. Hasn't lost any of his pace either. Overall not too bad in possession and as the game progressed some of our purple patches produced some excellent play, eventually leading to the Jenas goal for 1-0.

Could have, should have (there’s those words again) scored more in that first half. Second half too. The play in the final third lacked that final killer ball or shot. Pulling the trigger a bit earlier on occasion would have helped. 1-0, 1-1….all the same really. If Wenger plays the same team they will be slightly more improved performance wise I’m sure. But Spurs have to be favourites now to get to the final. On the 23rd time of asking, Spurs will have to produce the same type of performance with a more telling score-line in our favour. Steed and JD take note.

Arsenal lacked the cohesiveness of their previous games. Good to see a second successive decent enough performance in their cesspit. Would be foolish to think the tie is done and dusted though.

Wasn't too happy with the constant ball back to the keeper routine. But at 1-0, you couldn't really complain about it. Making use of the ball and helping so by moving into positions is something that will come with time and new players with the appropriate vision. That's one thing the scum do well. When they are in possession they always get forward. Although I'm highlighting their good moments. Some of their passing in front of their own area was almost, dare I say, Tottenhamesque from weeks gone by. Senderos. Diamond geezer innit.

No Robinson for us. Good decision and about time. Cerny (minus his kicking) played well. Some useful saves and tidy keeping. We need to bring in someone now or the summer as his loan spell is up and I don't think it will be renewed. Robinson has to avoid sulking and should prove Ramos wrong if he wants to see out his long term contract. Personally hope he does just that.

Berbatov looked sublime again. His control of the ball and run at Arsenals defence in the first half was superb. Steed, King and Jenas all impressed. Not too many negatives. Defoe’s sitter aside. We created loads of chances, and for a team that’s been very average this season, it was a fine result to take back to the Lane. You could tell that alone on the faces of the home support after the final whistle and on the way home. The miserable gits.

Not a single booking last night either. Well done ref.

Truly shocking home support. But nothing new there from the Borg collective. Apart from that small section in the corner (Hugh, is that you?) that bring their scarf's to the game. But maybe their insistent jumping up and down has more to do with bladder control. The Emirates has the smallest most compact toilets I’ve ever had the displeasure of using. Thank God for the sinks.

As for the empty seats, was there a rowing regatta everyone had to get to? Still 53,000 to watch an Arsenal reserve team ain’t too shabby, no?

After the game, apart from the usual head-slapping from the Arsenal fans from behind the line of Police officers, some of them were making throat slitting gestures. I’m now pretty certain they were referring to losing their voice along with every other red in the ground.

You have to love these games for what they are. Boiling pots.

But enough unoriginal cheap shots aimed at the Enemy, at the end of the day, we aren’t without our own problems. Let’s not pretend for a second that our West Stand doesn’t exist. One thing is for sure. Come the 22nd, the whole of the Lane will be fucking near apocalyptic.

Getting back after the game proved to be a pain too. Victoria Line was still screwed. Overground only at Finsbury Park. First train was far too packed. Second train was cancelled. 30 minute wait. No thank you. We walked to Angel, and didn’t get back to East London till well gone 11pm. Proper work-out that was ruined by a midnight KFC.

And onwards we go. Roll on, second leg.

Spurs 2 Reading 2 (FA Cup 3rd Round)

I’m now officially bored of Paul Robinson and the managements persistence in starting him, waiting for him to somehow iron out all his goalkeeping quirks (which are working out to about 3.9 mistakes per game). He’s shit. He knows he’s shit and yet everyone inside the club appear to ignore the simple fact of the matter that he has no self-belief and he’s shit. One or two show stopping television saves doesn’t redeem him from his weekly David James impersonations. Calamitous is too gentle a description.

Take Reading’s first goal. Softest ever? Robinson got his positioning all wrong. It was hilarious. The second Reading goal was also partly his responsibility with another lame effort of a save, pushing the ball out to Hunt for the equaliser. Not that Robinson can be blamed for the draw. Keane and Berbatov both missed guilt-ridden opps in front of goal. On another day, we would have notched up 3 or 4 more goals. But it’s a bit frustrating when we’ve rested 3 players and they’ve changed 8, and we don’t win. But what you gonna do?

One thing we can do, other than work miracles in the transfer window is to resolve the goalkeeping problem once and for all. Playing him week in and week out waiting for him to change form to positive from shambolic is a fruitless exercise.

Drop Paul Robinson.

Big bloated blog entry

2008 is upon us. Another twelve months of having to taste my own vomit watching Spurs kamikaze their way through countless matches and another self-induced transitional period. Did we really finish fifth two years running? Whether it was over achievement or circumstance, we had a swagger and self-belief along with a pretty decent home record, which all appears to have disintegrated into nothingness over the summer. We’ve been here before, and I’m not about to revisit the same tiresome theories and excuses. What’s happened has happened, more than anything because it always happens to Spurs. Due to the fact that we have this uncanny ability to create problems internally that hinder the team.

We choke. On and off the pitch.

Along with the over-excitement and therefore exaggerated hope the fans are guilty of, it’s all elevated to a misleading level of expectation. Simply put, we were never as good as we thought we were. We got lucky once or twice. We rode the crest of a rather good wave.

Without ever having that ‘midfield general’ or ‘leadership’ or the ability to finish off one of the ‘Big Four’ clubs in crunch matches, we continued onwards without looking to resolve these issues. Along with other popular and well documented frustrations (i.e. Poor set-pieces, defending set-pieces).

Whatever genuinely happened over the summer that resulted with Jol going and Ramos joining, is down to the chairman. He’s accountable for everything that happens at the club. That includes the rumour concerning Berbatov almost signing for Utd, but deciding to stay and then regretting his decision. And from whispers to reality, he is also accountable for spending £16.5M on a striker when defenders and midfielder's were needed. Though, it’s obvious Bent was bought as a direct replacement for the outgoing Bulgarian. But having a decent consistent experienced Premiership player (that cost more) as future cover for a world-class player is still ludicrous business. But that’s Spurs isn’t it. We’ll get to that later.

At the moment, it’s difficult to assess fairly Ramos and Poyet’s influence and impact, though several positives are evident. There appears to be problems with ridding the club of the rot, though now the Transfer Window is open, we may see the necessary changes that are required. The current issues with the team are not new.

We cannot defend set-pieces.

Actually, we can’t defend full stop. No organisation. Complete lack of responsibility and accountability. No one takes the game by the scruff of the neck.

How many times are we going to watch Robinson fail to command and organise his area? And then clumsily punch the ball to an opposing players feet, to then watch it hit the back of the net followed by Robinson berating the defenders and everyone else within a ten-mile radius? Only to have idiots singing ‘England’s Number One’ at the next game.

Robinson isn’t always guilty. Look towards the likes of Huddlestone and Chimbonda for consistently losing their man. Wouldn’t complain if it happened in forward positions, but tragically it’s a common occurrence in our own penalty area. If Robinson doesn’t fuck up, then be sure that someone else will wonder off leaving opposition players to score directly from a corner. Happened twice at Villa Park, where Dawson decided to mark zonal rather than player, let everyone know about it by pointing his finger, and we all know what happened next.

On top of the individual walkabouts, we also have professional players who haven’t got a sodding clue about being professional. Surely one of our donkeys can see the mis-match of having O’Hara man-mark Laursen? You’d think it right? If I can see it, then someone on £30K per week should be able to clock on that it’s only going to end in tears. 6 minutes to go, that’s surely ripe for yet another conceded goal. Yep. Sure was.

What’s the stat now? 20 or so lost points from fuck-ups late on? It’s obviously not as simple as ‘change the defence and we’ll be ok’ but having a decent defence and a confident keeper is the difference between us sitting in 12th and aspiring to another 5th spot finish.

Most telling moment for me, was actually Dawson’s yellow card at Villa Park. He made a clumsy stupid tackle when it wasn’t necessary, right on the touchline. You could see Ramos going mental over at the technical area.

Poyet’s Sky Sports Interview post-match was fantastic. Something Jol would never have done.

“We have to change”, he said (rather obviously, but at least you believed he was angry about it). Along with a comment that may suggest one or two players are set to either go out on loan or be sold. But what was certain was the fact that we have individuals that appear to be incapable of following instructions and reacting to circumstance and situations in-game.

Was Dawson ever any good? Is this one of those other Tottenham mirages? Average players, high on confidence and playing alongside true class (King), allowing their determination to shine through as ‘quality’. Dawson appears to have had a lobotomy, on what was a rather small brain in the first place. He's Keystone cop dressed up as Bambi, with accompanying ice.

Poyet’s comments are about 1000 times more effective than past excuses dished out by previous likeable (Jol) and legendary (Hoddle) chiefs. Having a defence that is incapable of defending doesn’t help out the rest of the team. Even the sulky Berbatov. You can understand his frustration if all his work (nearly) goes to waste because of goal-leakage (i.e. Spurs 6 Reading 4).

'Essential purchases' apparently is all we will get from the chairman. So that’s about 4 new players. Gunter is on his way. Another kid. Another ‘Gareth Bale’. That’s fine, but we need finished article players. So I don’t count this as one of Levy’s essential signings. King is back, but we need someone of equal pegging to partner him. Or even replace him, as another long term injury will surely be the end to his career.

Please no more Kabouls. I might be wrong on this, but I’m certain I read a quote stating that Kaboul was one for the future and was not going to partake in first team duties this season. Injury problems meant he was thrown knee deep in the shit from the start. And his complete lack of inexperience and confidence has more or less shattered the illusion of him having any kind of potential. I feel sorry for him. It’s not his fault that we have skipped development and given him a responsibility that’s far too big for him to handle. The failure here is with Comolli.

Whilst others spend about £500,000 on ‘young players’, who all look fantastic when they do play, us spunking around £8M on Kaboul is laughable. Much like spending the same amount on Zokora is. You spend £8M on a player that is either already experienced or superb not on someone who is far from it and might be good 'in the future'. What’s scary is if Comolli actually believed he was decent enough for first team football from the off.

Kaboul’s heart is in the right place. He wants to do well. I can’t help but cringe when he runs over to the crowd and throws his shirt into the stand (copying that dancing idiot Zokora). It’s all a little bit mis-placed and more or less sums up Spurs. Celebrating bog-standard victories with shirt-throwing masks the fact that he should concentrate more on his inability to clear the ball. Or at times pass it. Then again, we haven’t had that much to get happy about this year, so having these open-bus parade moments helps us sleep better at night.

Zokora was decent at the heart of the defence, but that’s not a position he will remain in and he’s not very good in the position he normally twats about in. Chimbonda is a liability. Classic example of a player who is pretty decent, but thinks he’s world class, so doesn’t bother playing, and thus just looks plain shit. His dribbling runs in front of our own penalty area are testament to this man’s idiocy.

Jamie O’Hara on the other hand, is looking quite neat and tidy. Hopefully won’t go the way of Marney and Jackson. Bit too earlier to compare him to the likes of Paul Scholes, but it would be nice for Spurs to have a player come from the youth team that can save us £10M - £15M in the transfer market and be as effective as Scholes was at United. Oh hold up, O'Hara is a former Arsenal youth reject. Damn it. Rohan Ricketts all over again. To be fair, I think he’ll be better than the failures that have come before him, but his progression may be hindered by future signings. Because when have Spurs not splashed out £10M - £15M? O'Hara has to be part of the first team squad and has to play games, otherwise, how do we know he'll ever be good enough? If the likes of Jenas get prolonged runs in the team, then this kid should do to.

Back to King. What a pleasure to see him return. In an age where rumours and bullshit take precedence over the truth, they (the press) would have you believe he was on the verge of quitting the game. Spurs, for once, are doing the right thing and look to be easing him back into the team. Resting him for the Villa game (though it proved to be the difference between points and nothing) was proof that Spurs have King’s fitness as the number one priority. But having him back in the team won’t be enough. He needs quality playing alongside him.

Something tells me that quality will still be missing come February, with regards to the goalkeeping position. Yes, Robbo has shed a load of weight. One of the positives of the Ramos/Poyet partnership is the fitness and diet regime appears to be working. Take Huddlestone. He looks leaner, and has improved his form. And Robinson has pulled off some world-class saves.

The thing is, Huddlestone still lacks mobility, so he isn’t the answer to our midfield problems. Robinsons ‘world class saves’ were his normal weekend peformances 2 seasons ago. At the present time, he still fails to command his area and the defenders around him. He still can’t punch and still looks clumsy. Waiting for him to reclaim his past form is a huge risk and it won’t happen when he has the current shambolic unit defending his goal. If the right players are brought in, and Robinson still doesn’t improve, then his dream will be over at the Lane.

Talking of which. Defoe and Bent.

Bent has been missing for a couple of games, apparently injured. West Ham are linked to him, in a cut-price deal. Levy claims we are not a selling club, and that there will be no major changes this January and that we will not be off-loading players on long-term contracts.

Bent was bought as Berbatov’s replacement. I see no other logical reason to splash out so much money on a striker when we have three already. If this is true, then that means anything Levy says can be ignored. And the case to sack the incompetent Comolli strengthens further.

If you believe the press speculation - Defoe, Bent and Berbatov are all off. That’s obviously not going to happen. Levy’s clue about long-term contracts would suggest that Defoe’s days are potentially numbered. He is currently changing agents (goodbye Sky Andrews) and is using this as an excuse for not speaking to the club about extending his contract. Thing is, should we even entertain keeping him? He obviously won’t develop further as a player due to his lack of Sheringhameque brain skills. Which means, a life on the Spurs bench awaits. Take the Man City away game as an example. He was sacrificed when we had Zokora sent off. Could he have done the quite brilliant job Berbatov produced, holding the ball up and generally playing his guts out supporting the midfield? Of course not. There’s not much more than instinctive finishing to his game, but he blows hot and cold so much that maybe we should bite Pompey’s hands off (I’m ignoring the silly rumours of Utd being interested in him).

Bent won’t be sold. If he is, then I want Comolli to resign.

As for Berbatov. Who knows? His agent is saying he may leave. Ramos said he may leave. Then the chairman says nobody is leaving. Poyet slags off Berbatov’s agent, suggesting he is bullshitting and looking out for his own wallet, while the papers inform us that a £26M deal is on the cards that will make him a Chelsea player.

Sell Berbatov, and we will be ordinary. On par with the teams below us, and chances of us being pulled back into the relegation dogfight go up. Obviously, if he is sold for over £20M, then I’d expect a similar ‘world class’ player to replace him. Though said player will probably wake up a year from now, and demand to be sold onto a bigger club. And the cycle continues.

It’s a tricky one to work out. Ian Wrights ‘feeder club’ comments seem to be a tad sensationalised. Carrick WANTED to leave. In fact, Spurs don’t sell players for the sake of it. It’s more a case of players wanting to leave when they realise nobody can break the current Top 4 stronghold so why bother staying?

Someone remarked to me that Berbatov can not play Champions League football this season because he has played in the UEFA Cup. If he plays in Saturdays Cup game, then he’ll be cup-tied too. So, considering the loyalty/faith the club have shown in him, he may as well wait until the summer.

From an unbias point of view, a modern day player simply wants success. So if you are world class playing for an average team, why carry them on your shoulder when you could be playing at the top level? Berbatov is always cited as not being this type of player. We will know for certain come the 1st February.

One player not leaving will be Zokora, who apparently wants to stay at Spurs forever. The only way I’ll be able to get through this one is if I start cutting my arms Richey James stylie.

No matter what happens this January, it’s what happens over the next 5 months and the summer – because once more we have to look towards next season as being the fresh start that’s required to kick-start our ambitions. Ramos and Poyet have done fine thus far. Difficult to really impose anything drastic over the current set of players, especially as Ramos has to assess what he has and what needs replacing. The new fitness regime and extra training sessions was obvious and simple to implement, and shame on Jol really. The diet too. Most ‘top clubs’ have all this in place as standard. In fact, most clubs do as default. Shame on Spurs.

Our defeats under Ramos have not been disastrous. They’ve just helped highlight the consistent issues that can only be fixed with (more) new players. If we want to climb the table as quickly as possible. The guilty can be developed properly and can redeem themselves at a later date.

The 3-2 home defeat against Birmingham was a quintessential collapse we have come to know too well. 2-1 up, player sent off and then at 2-2 we see another long-range effort beat Robinson. In the last seconds. We can’t defend a lead and we appear to be easy pickings for anyone who wants to have a go in the dying moments of a game. It happens so often that teams know they are in with a chance. Still, this was our first defeat under the new management.

Anderlecht away was boring. Remembered more for the lead pipe thrown onto the pitch and the pathetic fine for the Belgium club and their misbehaving fans. Gatafe won the group, which means we play Slavia Prague (who dropped out of the Champs League) in our next UEFA Cup game. Not that bad of a draw. PSV await (probably) if we get through.

2-1 at home to City. They are very ordinary away from home, but it was good to see us re-take the lead after City equalised and take all three points.

Pompey away was surprising. Yes, they’ve endured five 0-0 draws on the trot since the 7-4 Reading game, but for us to keep a clean sheet and take all three points was bloody great. Especially bossing the second half. Signs of something far better than Jol’s final days.

This was followed by another routine win at Man City, this time in the League Cup. First team to win there this season. And with just 10 men for about 70 minutes. Berbatov was excellent after Defoe was subbed to bring on another midfielder, following Zokora’s sending off. Was never a red. Steeds tackle was, so thanks to the ref and his inconsistency we were allowed to play our way through to the semi-final. Robinson made one of his ‘world class’ saves in this game. Pretty much well deserved again. Two clean sheets on the trot, away from home.

Then the NLD followed. Nice to see Sky Sports continue their ridiculous pro-top 4 commentary bias with Tyler's over-excited commentary for everything Arsenal related. See, Arsenal were not very good on the day because the magician Cesc was having a good day. Nothing to do with Spurs pushing up and pressuring their players and generally making it all a bit difficult for the bestest team ever to settle into any kind of rhythm. Fabregas and his hug for O’Hara at the end of the game summed it up.

Spurs did everything right, except when it mattered. No one expected us to win, so when gifted with a penalty to make it 2-1, Robbie Keane misses (it was actually a good save). This was then followed by another gift (not missed) when Bendtner eased away from Huddlestone to score with his first touch. From a set-piece. It’s that old choke thing rearing its ugly head. Again. Spurs beat themselves in this one.

Another semi-final with them lot is on its way. Even if they play a weakened side (their reserves/kids tend to be almost as difficult to play against then their first team proper) I still don’t see a passage through to the final. At least not without blood, thunder and following up on opportunities with merciless cutthroat decisiveness. In other words, if we are 2-0 up this time, we make it 3-0. And don’t let them back into it. Choking again isn’t really acceptable. But then, with the current set of players, I don’t think we can compete if they play to their very best. Cup final would be nice though. I’m sure they think the same, considering Wenger’s uber-team haven’t won much in the past three seasons, by their very high standards.

The 5-1 drubbing of Fulham at home wasn’t unexpected. Comfortable without ever dominating or bossing the game. Helps the woeful goal difference.

The next game was one of those rather silly moments in football when you can’t make up your mind whether you should laugh out loud or scream abuse. Berbatov scored 4 and was sublime. Our defence gave Reading 4, mostly from set-pieces and Robinson's lack of keeping ability. Every time we went behind we equalised. It was a classic football match, without having classic examples of how to play the game. We scored some great goals, but let in some terrible ones. Never thought we would lose though because we always got ourselves back into it. The six goals made us the Prem’s top goal scorers. Sure, a big chunk of them have come against Reading, Fulham, Wigan and Derby. But it helps to prove the point that if the defence was decent and we had a strong creative midfielder....well, you know. 5th spot.

Nice to be first in Match of the Day’s running order for once. Talking of which, Hansen still thinks we are the only team with the right amount of whatever it is that’s needed to break into the Top 4. City, Everton and Villa are doing well, but if there’s one thing that remains constant it’s the fact that the top 4 never change but the chasing pack always do.

Villa away wasn’t very good in the first half. Second half, we deserved the point, but again, as spoken about already, individual errors cost us dearly.

And here we are. January. Reading at home in the FA Cup on Saturday (cue 1-0). And Arsenal away in the Carling Cup next week. Got to be in it, to win it.

Happy New Year. Enjoy it.

Amateurs 3 Aalborg 2

Abject, horrible, amateurish, gruesome, dismal, shite, awful, appealing performance. That’s the first half review out of the way. Second half was played with the type of tempo that makes you wonder why we didn’t kick off in the same manner. Jenas off (injury) allowed for some tidy tactical changes with Zokora turning ‘defensive enforcer’ (LOL) and Chimbondo moving back into the right back position, with Dawson central and Huddlestone free to play those killer balls we all know he is capable of (keep on losing the weight and he might just turn into a decent player with mobility). And a killer ball he played. 1-0, and before you could blink, 2-0 and the players were off celebrating like they had something to be proud off, with Ramos pointing to the centre circle. Bent was also on for the second half (for Lee).

Look, I’m not going to complain that much. When you’re in a certain situation (as we were with Jol before he left) a win is a win is a win. No matter how unbalanced. Even against a team of players that practically cost nothing. Hudd’s ball into the path of Berbatov was superb and all the Bulgarian had to do is outstretch and slide it home. The second was just as incisive with Steed placing it with effort into the top corner. Bent’s effort was a simple tap-in, from a simple free-kick. We could have had more, but with Aalborg so plucky in possession, they probably could scored again too. Their opening goal (within a couple of minutes) was decent enough. Robinson beaten from distance, obviously. Their second goal saw us cut open like Mary Jane Kelly. It was gruesome.

Credit to Ramos and his half-time team talk. And well done for our millionaire players for responding with a degree of respect to the clubs reputation and fanbase. Such a hard life. So much effort required. All Ramos can do is work with this lot, without being able to truly build his vision for the future until he brings in players that are capable of achieving what he wants. So many of them out there last night need to be sold on. Zokora. Christ, if you think Jenas is redundant. Sure, he performed admirably in the second half, but should still make way for someone who has more to offer. Like first time touch. Comolli should be sacked on that signing alone.

We have more or less qualified, and a point in Anderlecht should do the trick. Though a 100% improvement has to be made if we’re gonna survive the next round. I expect a lot more on Sunday too.

West Ham 1 Spurs 1

Fair result this. Though no thanks to the Man with no Brain, Kaboul, self-imploding again - this time with a gift leading to a Cant Control opener. If only Spurs had a decent defence, hey? Chances for both sides, decent keeping on occasions and guilt ridden misses taking the headlines.

A proper ding-dong derby, without being anywhere near the classic last year was. Robinson saving well from Ashton and Parker. Robert Green embarrassing himself with the Dawson equaliser, but redeeming himself with a rather all too comfortable save in the 90th minute from Defoe. From the penalty spot. Oh dear. Well, whatever. Green did his homework and opted for the same side as last years kick. Defoe should have tried something different. Like fucking smacking it in rather than the lame placement that allows the home side to add a new chapter to the next edition of 'The History of West Ham United'.

As for the first half incident where Green probably should have got a red card, for what looked like a nailed on penalty (Keane, chipping the ball over him in a 1-on-1 situation and then....well, you've seen it I'm sure....Greens trailing leg bringing down Keane). And before any 'ammers claim he dived, it would have been far easier to just stand his ground and tap the ball in - if he wasn't touched (ooh) by Green. Which he was. Hence the lack of balance. And having seen it several times now, Keane loses balance because of Greens leg, and had he tried to remain on his feet its doubtful he would have got to the ball. I've said that already, haven't I? If Keane allowed gravity to pull him down in a far more dramatic manner, it still doesn't change the fact that Green was guilty.

Arguably, Keane was offside in the first place, so karma balanced it all out for us. Equally, you could say two big decisions missed by the officials. Still, play to the whistle, no? If anything, Riley (the man in black) made sure he made the game all about his rather average and consistently inconsistent ref'ing. Around 32 or 33 West Ham fouls given, compared to Spurs who gave away about 8. They got booked 3 times, we got booked 4 times. Doubt any West Ham or Spurs fan would agree he had a good game.

Was quite happy with our work rate today. Ramos has influenced the team in a positive way thus far. Looked more of a unit for once, away from home. Bit more confidence. Although, four strikers on the pitch at the same time with Berbs back in midfield was a little strange. Good to see Bale back too. Wonderful talent that kid.

Kaboul, a fine athlete, but blatantly inexperienced and allowing him play in a team that generally isn't very good at defending is just asking for trouble. He has made mistakes far too often now. Jan tran window target(s)? Please let it be a centre-back.

Ramos has to also work on eliminating these individual mistakes that are costing us. Robbo's recovery is continuing and some of the players are looking far improved (Berbatov, an obvious example) with their application and purpose.

Like I said, fair result. Brummies up next in the league.

We've had to wait 2 months for this

Spurs 4 Wigan 0

Wigan join Derby as one of the worst Prem team I've seen for a number of years. Utterly woeful, incapable of holding onto the ball or passing it to their own players. Instead, ace at giving the ball back to us and being generally shit, more so than us. We did enough to win the Biggest Game in our History™ comfortably, and we could easily have added 3 or more to the scoreline with the woodwork rescuing Wigan from a complete rout. The win was vital. And to achieve it with a little bit of swagger, just enough to brush a doomed team aside, gives the impression that improvement is gradually occuring. Conceding against this lot would have made me suicidal. Don't think Robinson had one shot to save. And Ramos has taken note of the fact that protecting a lead isn't the way to go - adding more goals to the tally allows for us hold onto the initiative and possession rather than sit back and let the opposing team attack. It was all a bit too easy.

And yes, the irony that our two Prem wins this season have come against the two worst teams is isn't lost on even the most fickle of Spurs fans.

Jenas (aka The Destroyer of Shit Teams™) was at his industrious best (gosh) and should have scored a hat trick, but rather than use the inside of his foot to place the ball he decided to use the outside. Gift wrapped opp, considering the Wigan defence parted like the Red Sea for him, except Moses would never have fallen on his face in the midst of such a dramatic moment. Jenas, once more a Biblical disappointment when it was easier to score. Could have done with Moses cane for assured balance as he tried to place the ball. Though kudos for the two goals he did get. And his general getting-forwardness. One day, he'll perform like this against a proper side.

Pro-Jenas comment, for larfs and larks

Great to see that our players are taking shots from outside the area. Lennon included, who scored a fine goal. Under Jol, we always seemed to favour walking it into the penatly area and then attempting to bury it. Nothing wrong with having a crack. Just ask deflection king, Frank Lampard.

And what about The Sulk? Well, Berbatov was - it has to be said - sublime. Involved in three of the four goals (setting up two) and even managed to throw in a smile. In fact, Berbatov played very well, an anchor between midfield and attack. Playmaker, even. Another nice touch by Ramos. Works better than Keane being the anchor as he ends up playing far too deep to be effective enough. Sure, the Bulgarian appeared to be a little sulky and did his usual 'moan at everyone' routinue (as has been the case all season) but his touches and lay-offs and his general presence was telling and inspired.

A rampant Spurs side of last year or the year before would have scored 7 with ease. I think today, anything less than 3-0 would have been a disappointment.

Wigan would win the ball and then pass it back to us, and some of their defending consisted of backing away from our players and hoping nothing would come from our play. Truly miserable stuff. They brought down a hundred or fans, and I applaud them for making the effort, the poor bastards have little chance of survival on this evidence. And with Marcus 'Relegated with six clubs' Bent in their side, they really don't have the blessing of the footballing Gods. Probably what Whelan deserves, mind. Back to the Championship for you mate.

Anyway, let's get some perspective. It was only Wigan. International break up next followed by West Ham United away. Probably the first big test for Ramos.