Four years ago today

26 January 1919 - 23 October 2004

UEFA Cup preview

I have no preview. I'm more concerned about Sundays game against Bolton - the first of the Dirty Dozen matches in the Challenge Spurs series.

Can't tell you what type of form Udinese are in or who their danger players are. The fact this is away from home, and considering our last away day in Europe (1-1 bore draw) I'm not intending to watch this (hardcore, I am). Prefer instead to settle down in front of the tv and watch a few episodes of Entourage. Vincent Chase will never let me down in the entertainment stakes. Jermaine Jenas will.

Anyone who will be tuning into the Spurs game, drink alcohol in abundance to help you get through the experience.

More scary stats

Thanks to Mudshark over at GG for this. Click here to see the thread and a whole bundle of disapproving numbers that will give you night terrors on top of all the nightmares.

• We haven't won a home league game since beating Portsmouth 2-0 on 22 March 2008 (0 wins in 8 at the Lane).

• We've only won one other game since then, 1-0 at Reading on 3 May 2008 (1 win in 15 home and away).

• We currently have a scoring shortfall of 1.28 goals/game relative to last season overall under Ramos.

• Players who were at the club last season are contributing roughly the same number of goals per game as they were last season (though slightly down on the equivalent figure for last season post-LCF).

• New acquisitions have so far contributed nothing to making up this shortfall.

• Goals against per game are slightly up on last season overall, but better than last season post-LCF.

• The sharp decline in form seems to have begun with the 4-1 reverse at home to Newcastle on 30 March 2008.

• Since beating Portsmouth in March, we have gained 9 points from a possible 45 (0.6 per game).

• This would translate to a total of 23 points over a 38-game season (if rounded up).

• January is a long way off.

Juande is now on Facebook

....they keep on coming.

Sunday not so bloody sunday

The 'mass' demonstration for this coming Sunday has been called off. Ben (that's the Ben who posts on COYS and spends most of his time up a tree at the Lodge) has been quite vocal recently with the publicity around the protest (he was interviewed by telephone on Setanta Sports). This was posted on COYS yesterday afternoon:

"Many people have supported the statement and a lot think we should do it before the game kicks of v bolton instead of during the first 5 minutes. some think we should do V liverpool. A few not at all.

I don't speak for spurs fans and don't want to do something majority not happy with so for that reason at the moment we will not do the leaflets. Levy knows a lot want him to go quite obviously and they are under real pressure. They need to tell us guys something and give something back to the fans. The situation is a large majority of us want Levy to go.

Because of the position we are in and the points needed over the next few weeks after a long chat between us all we have decided to leave this for the time being the club know how we feel and our feelings will almost certainly not change(we hope they will) I really fear for our future with Enic but maybe at the moment this will not help things as people have suggested.

We all love the club and want to get out of this position so we all need to pull together at the moment. So the leaflets will now not go ahead this weekend"

So keep your effigies at home and just make sure your lungs are ready to breach the roof of the sky as we all give it some with the vocals. I'm guessing that after the game, if we do manage to lose again, there might be one or two gatherings outside the main entrance to the West Stand. Nothing pre-planned. No leaflets. There's no protest planned during the game or just before it or after it. Anything that happens on the day will be down to what happens during the game itself. Seems its best not to distract from the fact that 3 points is the only important thing on Sunday.

Football will take precedence. Let's hope the players remember to turn up for once.

The Blame Game

Wenger is all guns blazing, supporting his old chum Comolli claiming DC is nothing more than a scape-goat for the Spurs boo-boys. Really? Not his fault? So who's fault is it? Because if you take note of various other newspaper articles and interviews it seems the blame doesn't sit with anyone at the Lane.

Sugar stuck up for Levy.
Ballague stuck up for Ramos.
Wenger for Comolli.

Friends looking after friends can be dismissed based on factual evidence.

Comolli has failed to address the main squad issues relating to the DM position, no left-winger, two right-wingers, no strikers. He didn't support Martin Jol and our squad is no stronger than it was a year/two years/three years ago. Is he a director of football or a mediator between chairman and manager?

Levy has sanctioned the deals that have taken place and is probably responsible for the ones that got away. His whoring for extra cash on the Berbatov deal is textbook.

Ramos, whether effected by the terrible twosome or not, has struggled to get to grips with the domestic game.

You don't get bottom of the league from bad luck. You get there because you deserve to be there.

Wenger should mind his own business and concentrate on giddiness and superlatives for his super team of super super kids.

Leave the commentary to the people who own the dramatics.

What is Daniel Levy good at?

Name them. Apart from 'cutting costs' and 'negotiating sponsorship deals and advertising'.

1) Selling our best players to Top Four© clubs.

2) Raising season ticket prices.

3) Over-charging for lower category Cup games (check out the price for the Liverpool Carling Cup tie as a prime example of money-grabbing).

4) Writing denial statements and rants for the official site.

5) Undermining the coach/manager.

6) ....

Another round of musical chairs?

Quick look at the weeks tabloid pish

Mabbutt, Roberts and Ginola have all been giving their two-cents in recent days. Bilic has been linked. Others have been quietly whispering the name of Big Sam (shudder). Klinsmann (not setting the world alight at Munich, for the second time) is the other potential target, if....if Ramos was to go. And then there's the stories (mostly forum based) that Ramos is trying to get himself sacked to return to Spain with plenty of change in his pocket.

Amongst all the usual tripe, the highbrow Guardian dedicated a whole page of Spurs jokes (mostly made up of one that are regurgitated each year for whatever unexpected club finds itself in trouble) and opposing fans continue to point and laugh. I'd suggest someone at the club prints off that page from the Guardian and posts it on the dressing room wall on match-days. Knowing our lot, in the midst of Bentley star-jumping and Zokora listening to hip-hop, they'll probably all laugh at the jokes.

101 things I never want to see again

Number #2

A Dimitar Berbatov post-match interview.

Apparently, according to the great man, the difference between himself as a player now compared to before is he now he gives 100% focus and concentration when playing.

As opposed to what? 70% 60%? What's the percentage of 'trying' for a smug self-righteous twat when playing for a club being used as a stepping stone? Don't bother emailing me the answer.

Whatever happened to.......

.....white dog shit?

It's just too easy, isn't it?

Ledley King

Doesn't play much, innit? If he plays on Thursday in the UEFA Cup and is rested on Sunday, then Ramos is still dizzy from counting the money we've given him, which explains his inept team selection and tactics.

For clarity:

Priority - Premiership survival
Everything else - Irrelevant

Challenge Spurs™ - The Challenge and the Forecast

The Challenge

30 points minimum by January 1st.

12 games.
6 at home.
6 away.
36 possible points.

The Forecast

Here's the Dirty Dozen:

(H) Bolton
(A) Arsenal
(H) Liverpool
(A) Man City
(A) Fulham
(H) Blackburn
(H) Everton
(A) West Ham
(H) Man Utd
(A) Newcastle
(H) Fulham
(A) WBA

30 points is such a massive task for one simple reason. We've picked up 2 from 8 games, so form wise - taken into account the last few performances - we are unlikely to win any of them. But something has to give, right? Something has to give. So, we may as well humour the hypothetical. Its nigh impossible to predict results ahead of the next one for the simple reason that as shit as we are, if we do get something out of the Bolton game then our form might progress to the point where we start winning games and playing well. Confidence can do wonders.

So, let's pretend Spurs will take charge of their destiny and attempt to be realistic with the predictions:

Game 01 - (H) Bolton ---------------- W 3 points
Game 02 - (A) Arsenal --------------- L
Game 03 - (H) Liverpool ------------- D 1 point
Game 04 - (A) Man City ------------- D 1 point
Game 05 - (A) Fulham --------------- W 3 points
Game 06 - (H) Blackburn ------------ W 3 points
Game 07 - (H) Everton -------------- W 3 points
Game 08 - (A) West Ham ------------ D 1 point
Game 09 - (H) Man Utd ------------- L
Game 10 - (A) Newcastle ------------ D 1 point
Game 11 - (H) Fulham -------------- W 3 point
Game 12 - (A) WBA ----------------- W 3 point

That gives us a measly 22 points. Which means at Christmas we'll have a grand total of 22 points. That's 8 short of 30, which means Spurs will simply not be able to afford any slip ups into January through to May, and that might still not be enough. Maybe we need to be tapping up Santa Claus.

In the above predicted results I've given us the following proud stats:

• 4 home wins from 6
• 2 away wins from 6
• 4 draws
• 2 defeats

Realistic enough? Obviously again, all dependent on the Bolton game/result the game directly after that one (Arsenal - gulp). Two straight defeats, then we'll be lucky to pick up 5 points before Boxing Day.

Turning the draws into victories will be the difference. Any of those turning into defeats and we'll be down before we visit the JJB.

After Xmas, comes 2009. Which brings us onto the following games:

(A) Wigan
(H) Portsmouth
(H) Stoke
(A) Bolton
(H) Arsenal

All of which will be of no consequence, depending on what happens now till Xmas.

Ideal (fantasy) Scenario?

6 home wins (18 points)
3 away wins (9 points)
2 away draw (2 points)
1 defeat (not ideal, but I'm already deep in imagination land with the rest of this scenario)

= 29 points + 2 we have already = 31 points

Mission Accomplished. Either way, 22 or 31, the points ratio has to pick up from game to game.

So, the aim of Challenge Spurs™ is simply for the team to achieve the points tally as outlined under 'The Forecast' or better it.

Excited? I'm shitting bagels.