Boo who?

Ashley Cole, last Saturday, was booed by England fans due a howler that presented Kazakhstan with their single goal in their 5-1 defeat. Some people (the deluded cretins on Sky’s Football Supplement) would have you believe that the reason was due to most of Wembley’s crowd being made up of Spurs and Arsenal fans. Yes, the journalists of England are truly champions of the truth gently stabbing you in the back of the head with their truthness fork.

Cole is, at a basic fundamentally level, a personification of the modern game. Arrogant, greedy and a cheat. The very epitome. Any other England player would not have got that level of abuse for a single mistake (especially in a game we won so comfortably), but Ashley is a special case.

You might argue that a minority booed, and the majority actually tried to drown out the booing with cheers. And that the people who did boo are not ‘proper fans’ but day trippers who see football as a pantomime rather than what it should be (in its purest traditional form). Anyone else would not have been on the receiving end of the booing and its harsh. But the media shouldn’t be making it back page news. They should save it for when we lose a game due to a howler and then crucify the player who is considered at fault (as long as that player is not a Big Four© player).

BENT: Spurs fans are termites

International week always equates to a little quiet time, re: the blog. Obviously the outcome of Levy’s chat with the Spurs Supporters Trust will be of much interest. Other than that, we’ve had to make do with Darren Bent once more talking to the media, this time defending Comolli – which you have to admit, is staggering. A player defending a director of football? Are Spurs now using playing staff to churn out positive PR spin rather?

DB: “He’s always around the place….”

Really? He does work for Spurs, so you’d expect him to be ‘around’ much like anyone else employed by the club. Ground breaking stuff this, from our Darren.

DB: “He’s a fantastic guy and one of the main reasons I came to Tottenham”

I’m sure Kaboul and Zokora and one or two others own shared rights in the same soundbite. Anyone who has helped double your wages will automatically gain a ‘fantastic’ tag. Comolli appears to be running an unofficial charity for the footballing inept. Sign up to Spurs, earn millions, do nothing...

DB: “There is no problem with him. He’s been good; he is always helping the players – and that is what they need”

Helping the players with what exactly? Does he offer them a shoulder to cry on? Does he wash their cars? What does he have to do with 1st team affairs that impacts the players mood? Does he stand there and gloat at training sessions, pointing out his signings and declaring ‘I bought him’, then running over to them with a magic sponge when needed?

He goes on to say that ‘Tottenham fans seem to be everywhere. Wherever I go they seem to be coming out of the woodwork, asking what is going on’. What a peculiar statement. Usually, fans come out of the woodwork when a team is suddenly doing well. To claim Spurs fans are approaching him (or other players) asking him what the fuck is going on is a normal supporter reaction considering our circumstance. Darren may believe the players are trying and giving 100% but from where I’m standing, I just don’t see it. All I see is one player after another, talking to the media about how we are much better than our position and that we will get it right. Yet with each passing week, all we have is countless soundbites but just two points.

Enough talk. 100% action.

Caption Competition

"Daniel, what are those people in shorts doing, kicking that sphere object on the green thing down there? Do they have anything to do with that money that appears in my account every month?"

Bored of the Campbell

Everyone seems to have an opinion on the Sol Campbell abuse. Refs, The FA, Rio Ferdinand, the police, Peter Tatchell, Brian Reade's rant and the rest of the knee-jerking media hacks. And David Mellor, who thinks the return game at WHL should be played behind closed doors. Yeah, great idea David. Let's punish the majority for what a few hundred fans sang. Maybe we can retrospectively punish your beloved Chelsea and have them play their next 100 games behind closed doors for decades of hissing and Auschwitz songs?

Munich, Harold Shipman, Ashley Cole and mobile phones - you could spend a day listing chants that could be categorised as abusive (to the targeted individual or a group of people). But the media, police and the players who get the brunt of it shrug, count their thousands upon thousands of notes sitting in their bank accounts and the following week run out onto the pitch and do it again.

For the 1000th time, I'm not defending the song that was sang for Campbell's benefit. That same song that's been sang for a few years now without ever making the backpages. And I'm not defending Campbell, who is obviously feeling a little fragile and feels the need to once more play the victim. Has Arsene Wenger ever made any complaints about the songs aimed at him by a number of fans from different clubs? No. Because he knows the people that sang them are football fans.

What makes all of this coverage even more ridiculous, is the media who, lets face it - are a joke. Made up of Man Utd fans (don't roll your eyes), they practically called all Man City fans as scum for singing Munich songs, using their back-pages as a tool of control stating that if anyone chanted that song at the 50th Munich Commemoration when City visited Old Trafford, they would be hung, drawn and quartered - banned for life. Nothing mentioned about the fact that City are proactive and ban anyone at Eastlands for singing it. And not a whisper of the Hillsborough, Heysel and Leeds (fans killed in Turkey) songs Utd fans sing every week.

Hypocrisy at its English finest.

Cast your minds back to last year when Spurs played Utd at OT. The Utd fans (a minority of them, right?) started hissing. We've heard that before of course. Nothing new. But the day they choose to do so was on International Holocaust Memorial Day. That kind of pales Sol Campbell's crying into insignificance, but God forbid anyone writes about that.

RIP San Jose

We've formed an extensive partnership with the MLS soccer team, the San Jose Earthquakes. This is an extract from the official site announcement:

The agreement will focus on football and commercial development that will see the implementation of a best practice exchange programme, with the objective of creating a lasting bond between the two clubs.

Tottenham Hotspur will invest time and resources into the development of San Jose Earthquakes on and off the pitch as well as working across charity and community based initiatives.

Invest time and resource into the development of San Jose? How about spending some time and resource in Tottenham fucking Hotspur? You know, bottom of the Premiership Tottenham. The announcement gets funnier, if you hadn't guessed already.

Our aim is to support the development of MLS by using our wealth of experience in the game on a number of levels. Football development will certainly be an integral part of the partnership, but other areas of our infrastructure will be beneficial models such as the work we do in the community with the Tottenham Hotspur Foundation.

Ok, let me ask the question. What wealth and experience? Wealth, sure. All the money we make accepting bids for our top players. But experience? On a number of levels? Tapping up managers? Forcing clubs to make donations to the Tottenham foundation? Introducing a DoF system that undermines the coach?

Fuck me, are San Jose any good, because the shit is about to hit the fan for them?

This time last season

We were third from bottom, with 5 points. Just three points better than the position we are in now.

Last season we had Berbatov and Keane. This season we have neither.

This blog post is depressing.

2010: A Spurs Odyssey

Dear Mr Levy,

You truly are a God amongst men. I have shivers running down my spine. Such is the positivity, from fans and the media.

Edgar Davids, the Dutch midfield legend, in the Lilywhite shirt.
Jermain Defoe, England’s most promising, prolific young striker.
Ledley King, one of England’s strongest, quickest and most reliable centre backs. All the top top clubs are after him.
Michael Carrick, a midfielder who will compete within the England backbone for years to come.
Top internationals in all positions and players with Champions League experience.
England’s number one, on a 7 year contract.
The nucleus of the England U19/U23 team.
Competition for every position from established stars and young internationals.
Pundits treating us with respect and quoting us as genuine would-be contenders to the Top 4.
A realistic destination for top players. Players – experienced or promising talents – want to join us.
We have ridden the crisis of our Sporting Director defecting to Chelsea. The impact of his departure is almost as if it didn’t happen.
Martin Jol. Legend. A man who turned down his dream job in his native country due to the passion for the job at WHL.
And you, Mr Levy. A chairman who acts with courage and dignity and has the overwhelming support of the fans.

And if that wasn’t all, over at Arsenal, things are looking grim.

They’ve lost their talismanic captain.
Their key transfer target has snubbed them for a bigger club in Spain.
Key remaining players are in contract disputes.
They have yet another player with a prison sentence hanging over him.
They have abandoned their famous shirt for the new season.
And they are soon to be moving from Highbury to an even more soul-less library.

This is a good time to be a Tottenham fan. We are not building a squad. We are building a dynasty. The future is bright, the future is white.

That was July 2005.

Let’s jump ahead to October 2008.

We have no defensive midfielder.
We lack firepower and understanding upfront, hoofing the ball to the forwards.
Ledley king is crocked and hardly plays.
Carrick is at United. We do have Jenas and Zokora though.
We still have internationals. Like Tom Huddlestone.
We’ve replaced England’s number one with the Brazilian version.
The nucleus of the England U19/U23 isn’t relevant if the Spurs 'kids' never make it into the first team.
Little competition exists, due to us selling players and not replacing them. The competition then turn up in Sunderland shirts and beat us.
Pundits, who did predict success for us, have swept that under the carpet, and prefer to point and laugh. No respect is forthcoming.
We are a realistic destination for panic buys.
We have a DoF system that doesn’t work and is proving to be the catalyst for disaster.
Juande Ramos. Spanish, and unable to speak English, 100% of the time. Looks detached from the on-field mess.
And you, Mr Levy. A chairman obsessed with profit margins and business rather than football progression. What happened to speculate to accumulate?

And if that wasn’t all, over at Arsenal, things are looking more than decent.

They have Theo Walcott.
They have bought the new Zidane.
Key players (Adebayor) have settled their differences and remained at the club.
They have several young super-kids making the grade, and looking great for the future.
They play with pride and passion in their red and white shirts.
The Emirates is still a Library, but they are never short of a good read.

This is not a good time to be a Tottenham fan. We have a decimated squad. Dynasty? This is more like The Colbys. An utter utter shambles. The future is bleak, the future is chocolate brown.

Let’s skip ahead to March 2010.

We have finally have a defensive midfielder. Didier Zokora. He is kicking lumps out of the opposition.
The re-signed Raziak is knocking the goals in for fun with the prolific Kevin Doyle by his side.
Captain Dawson leads us from the back.
No one misses Jermaine Jenas, who signed for West Ham United and is now an England regular (keeping Lampard out of the team). Who needs him with Marney and Reid back in our midfield and the work ethic of Nigel Quashie?
Huddlestone marshals the midfield, dominating the Opta Stats.
Alnwick is a legend in goal.
We don’t have the nucleus of the England U19/U23 teams, but we do have some great discounted bagels in the West Stand
We have a ton of competition thanks mainly to our new transfer policy (Robbie Savage on a free).
Pundits have us down as genuine title winning contenders.
No DoF. Just Terry Venables as our Sporting Director.
And ex-Intertoto Spurs legend, Alan Pardew as coach.
And Steve Nash. A chairman who is leading us clear of the opposition. Eighteen points clear, and well on course to claiming the Football League Coca-Cola Championship.
Champions. Title winners. Open bus parade. Updated version of the Opus on the cards. The cockerel is strutting and crowing.

WE’VE GOT OUR TOTTENHAM BACK!

And now back to the present day, October 2008.

I wonder what the future holds Daniel? I hope your legacy - your five year plan - works out just fine.

Regards,
Spooky

Tabloid rumour of the day

Juventus have added Tottenham midfielder Luka Modric to their January hitlist, according to reports in Italy.

Claudio Ranieri's side are ready to make a move for the Croatian playmaker, who has failed to impress since his £16.6m move from Dinamo Zagreb, when the transfer window reopens.

Spurs manager Juande Ramos has struggled to accomodate Modric in his line-up and Juventus are ready to test his resolve with a £30m bid.

Corriere dello Sport says Juve chiefs are desperate to find a playmaker after pulling out of a deal to sign Liverpool's Xabi Alonso in the summer.

More mad-up mayhem from the press. Although Levy might get a little turned on with the amount of profit he could make if he agreed to this. If, of course, it formed some part of reality. Which it doesn't.

Does it?

Pav Update

Just how thick is Roman Pavlyuchenko? About £14M worth of thick.

After a hectic Russian domestic season and a sudden move from Moscow to London, Roman at no point since his Spurs debut has looked match-fit. 75% at a stretch. And thanks to Tottenham's dithering and additional alleged agent interference (which meant his Russian team-mate Andrei Arshavin stayed at Zenit rather than paraded around at White Hart lane), he has yet to settle down in London. Like any player from a far-away land, things don't always come together quickly.

Three weeks rest would be the best option, but the player has demanded a second opinion. Basically, he will dismiss the doctors who are paid by the people that pay his wages, and will accept the decision made by the doctors that look after the Russian players.

Ankle ligament trouble, yet he prefers to play. He could quite possibly aggravate the injury further and spend more time out for Spurs. Not that the lack of other striker options is his fault.

As for Guus Hiddink, please do one.

The player, considering his form, should take the oppurtinity to shut the fuck up and rest.

Pav out for three weeks

Down to just the two forwards now. We're doing are very best to make things even more tricky for ourselves.

Agent Comolli speaks

Ok. Lets try this again. We lost to Boro, then Sunderland but drew at Chelsea...so that's one point....

Interviewed, Comolli tells everyone we are united. Very apt. The exact PR friendly blurb is as follows:

"We share the responsibilities. We are all together supporting each other and I'm sure we will turn it around.

We need stability. We don't need change. We need to get results.

As a club we are very united - the board and the coaching staff, the players and the coaching staff, and the players and the board. We are in this together so we don't want to single out anyone.

We are not getting the results we thought we would get, but we are working hard and we are all committed in the club to getting it right and fixing it.

My relationship with Juande is excellent, as always.

That is all speculation. We don't talk about that inside the club. We just want to get out of this tricky situation."

Would be mighty embarrassing if someone gets trigger-happy after the Stoke game in a couple of weekends time. Trying to decipher this message of togetherness (yeah, I'm cynical if you haven't noticed) is tricky. Comolli is the spokesman when Levy doesn't want to get his hands dirty. Get a goodwill message out in the open, get the press off our backs and work towards that miracle first win.

Lose, and lose again and maybe again - you wonder if the chairman will be making the next 'Let's not panic' official statement - because if Ramos isn't the one to be sacrificed, then ridding the club of Comolli might just do the trick. Not that an immediate positive impact on the field will result with the Frenchmen's departure. Damien's devastating work occurs within the transfer window.

The other far more scary alternative scenario is that Levy/Ramos/Comolli are bestest mates and this summer was a unified well planned attempt to progress the club.

Ha, yeah righto.

tabloid round-up

Headlines from today's rags.

Tottenham are set to fire sporting director Damien Comolli, who has angered manager Juande Ramos with his transfer dealings. (The Sun)

Well, if you think back to the Ramos appointment Levy did say that Comolli wanted him at the club as he is the perfect 'coach' to work in a DoF structure thus allowing Levy a bullet-proof patsy if things don't go well. Sacking him would help appease all the disgruntlment, although people are stupid. Fact is, if Comolli is a failure who has been allowed to spend so much money, should the person who appointed him not be made accountable?

Probablity Factor: 8/10

But Ramos has been given a personal assurance by Spurs chairman Daniel Levy that he will be given time to turn the club around. (Daily Mirror)

Ramos was told not to worry about his future by Levy immediately after Spurs' defeat by Hull City on Sunday. (Daily Star)

Dear God, not the dreaded 'vote of confidence'? Wondering how much of this is just speculation. Nobody knows, unless Levy is directly quoted as confirming he said this. Can't imagine the chairman rushing down to the dressing rooms to tell the coach not to fret.

Probability Factor: 3/10

There is boardroom unrest at Tottenham about the role Levy has played in the club's worst start to the season since 1912 after he gave the green light to Dimitar Berbatov's £30m deadline-day move to Manchester United. (Daily Mail)

This is just shit journalism.

Tottenham's first-team coach Gus Poyet is the man most likely to replace Ramos if the Spaniard does leave White Hart Lane. (Daily Mirror)

Really? Anything to do with him being the current number 2 at Spurs? Honestly, the deduction skills of the Daily Mirror astonish me. I was half expecting Spurs to invite Mitchell Thomas to take over as care-taker. Gutted.

Probabilty Factor: 11/10

Spurs' £15m winger David Bentley is furious with Ramos because he feels his manager's rotation policy is the reason he has been left out of Fabio Capello's latest England squad. (Daily Express)

More lazy journalism. Bentley should be furious with himself and his own form, being the reason he is not in the England squad. Yeah, I know, Ramos has played him out of position - not ideal, but regardless he hasn't shown anything to warrant a first team place in his natural right-wing position.