The Theatre of Tears
Friday, October 29, 2010 at 12:22PM Continuing on from this, United truly wind me up. But equally, so do Spurs on occasions (so many occasions) when they allow self-defeatism to drag them towards the inevitable empty points haul that we leave Old Trafford with.
The last time we won there can probably be found in the depths of the Spurs Shop store room on a dusty Betamax in a damp corner. Long forgotten about other than the mouse chewing away at the tape. Until said mouse notices a far more appetising VHS.
So with no Howard Webb in the equation, what will give way and will it give way our way?
Potential scenarios (based on historical depression):
1) We start brightly, pressure United, score, United come back into it, make it 1-1, we go on the back-foot and then go 2-1 down, and then United score a third to kill us off.
2) It's a scrappy match, both teams struggling to get a stranglehold on the midfield, United get a penalty which they score, the game continues to be scrappy, United get another goal, this one a screamer from about 30 yards out. Misery. Heads down. Still nothing since 1989.
3) United steam-roll us, we never get into the game. They turn it on. Tabloids proclaim the return of majestic form for the biggest club in the universe.
4) We score a legitimate goal which gets disallowed for no apparent reason other than incompetence. And lose 1-0 to goal from a defensive lapse.
5) We start brightly, take the lead, then take a position that suggests there is simply no way back for them and then we…choke. Textbook 'flatter to deceive' performance which sees United shove us aside nonchalantly as we fall back to our textbook position - on our arse at OT. Four or five home goals. Match of the Day removed from Sky+ series link.
6) We turn up. Boss the midfield. Play with confidence and belief. Score. Score again. Remain strong. Make clever tactical substitutions. United get a goal back. But it's too late. We win. We end our miserable away to a 'top 4 side' record. Spurs fans across the forums and blogs of the internet rejoice with suggestions that one striker in Jan will mean = title contenders. Fans in the away end French-kiss. I get a tattoo on my back of Harry eating the Champions League trophy. Man Utd fans in tears, Bale signalling to the home crowd 'I will never join Utd, you prawn loving losers', whilst Modric plants a flag in the centre-circle of a Cockerel and ball.
I've stuck £1000 on number 6. This is the best chance we've had in years of getting something up there. Sure, I'm not naive enough to believe United are suddenly worthless, far from it. They have enough players of quality on their day to beat anyone - even with their light-weight midfield and lack of Rooney circa 2009. The difference is, we've improved. Probably not massively this season in terms of stepping up a gear, but this game on Saturday, its one that can define our season for sure.
Step up Harry. Step up Bale, Modric, Huddlestone, van der Vaart, Lennon. Sandro. No matter who starts. Step up Crouch or Pav (I've sort of ruined the speech now haven't I?). Step up not just guile and tenacity - but for once, let's see some of that relentless never say die we're going to beat you any which way we can belief that them in the Red we face churn out season after season.
Get in their faces. Invade their personal space. Show no respect. Dish out to them what they routinely dish out to us. And never - not for a second - take a single moment for granted, no matter the score.
Want to play in the big boys playground? You need to kick 'em in the nuts first, show them you can handle the pace. Make their eyes water.
To dare is to stick it up the bollix of Berbatov. COYS.
Reader Comments (119)
Like moving deckchairs on the Titanic?
(I meant Bassoon of course).
Pav must start up front
Vidic hasn't a clue how to defend against him. Crouch is much easier to mark. Fuck I'd rather start keane than crouch tomorrow
I'd love to be wrong and for crouch to score the winner I really would. But there's probably more of a chance that I'll get to shag Nigella Lawson in the centre circle at half time.
I've got £1000 on Pav hatrick and a clean sheet.
But don't tell Mrs JimmyG2. She thought I'd gone out to put it down on a cruise in February.
A cruise in February! What are they like?
Anyway this could be the start of a run of mundane wins against a side that had reached the end of its top four cycle by a side just starting theirs.
This could be the game that Cl;ub historians saee as the beginning of our rise to greatness once again.
Next year the top four could be Chelsea, Arsenal Man.City and Spurs.
W.Ham and Liverpool relegated.
And you read it here on Spooky's Halloween troop rouser first.
Sorry to be all gloom but I hear this sort of 'once more unto the breach' speech every time we roll up at OT. Every year I hear the same hyperbole about how our squad is catching theirs, how they're missing key players, how they're in bad form. And then we subsequently lose.
It's almost an identical scenario every year. Every year we feel quietly confident. Every year we get tonked.
As someone said above, write the weekend off, find something else to do. I'd put my house on us getting beat - or at the very very outside, a draw. For once this year I won't be sucked into the quiet confidence trap impelled by this kind of post and categorically accept I'll be happy if we're not blasted out of sight. Pick ourselves up and focus on next week's match.
That's all.
I would like to see Joan O'shea get sent off. She's a nasty piece of work.
redknapp says he may rest bale !! and hudd is injured
so if true
gomes
hutton
gallas
kaboul
a+e
lennon
modders
sandro
palacios/bale
vdv
Pav / crouch
Tactical update from the Lodge.
Tottenham will park the bus and lump it up to crouch whenever possible. It might be hard to stay awake. Top tip: Bring some Pro Plus tablets.
@starsky
what's with all the stupid feckin nicknames?! knob.
Benoit deserves more respect don't you think?
Passionate ending, I love it!! Without the FA's top agent for "big four"/moneybags domination of world football, Howard Webb in charge of the game, I think we have every chance! Can see this being high scoring, due to our defensive weaknesses at the moment, but also because Bale/VdV/Lennon (not on form, but we all know what he likes to do to Evra) ar so good. If we could have a striker who can finish even half of his dinner tomorrow then we have every chance! Bale vs Neville could be a fun one, especially since he had the run around from Etherington last match. Huddlestone out which is a shame, so I can see him being replaced by Palacios, even though I would prefer Sandro.
Utd to take the lead early on, 1-0. We fight our way back into it, and go in at half time 1-1. Come out after half time and within minutes we go 2-1 up. After about an hour, and constantly knocking on the door and missing a hat full of chances, we break through to make it 3-1. We look like we're coasting and then with 5 minutes left, and 15 more missed chances by Crouch and co, we either let a goal in through a defensive lapse, or Utd are gifted a way back into the game for a nervous climax. Harry takes off Lennon and brings on Jenas/Palacios to sure up the midfield, and it works. We hold on for a famous Bale/VdV/Lennon lead victory at OT.
Or am I just dreaming.....
Dont be conned by "Arry"s bollox about Bale not starting against Manyoo..This is far more important than the Inter Milan match.Tottenham"s Champions Lge destiny lies on the games v Werder Bremen & FC Twente.
.............i have faith, yeah we have not beaten UTD forever but then again we have never played again Inter in the san Siro. Things are changing at the Lane and this could be our next step forward.
COYS.
keane starting?! ok..... in harry we trust, i guess.
no Crouch.
first set piece
united goal
fuck you all who bitch against Lancky!
Keane and JJ ??? It'll be the same old story with those two on the pitch. What a shame.
We were always at a disadvantage with those two in the starting line-up Big fish...Little fish, Cardboard box.
Do our players understand...this game is winnable. Has been for the entire second half.
Too slow in pace, not enough hassle, not enough in the final third. Very frustrating. But yeah, Dawson/King/Defoe...might have turned out different. But then that's a weak excuse.
Plenty of players under-par tonight.
And still...I live in hope.
Same old story.
No belief happy to settle for a narrow defeat.
Clattenberg you CUNT!!!
What a shit. He shoul be fucking sacked.
You just have to laugh really.
Would those who give us the same shit every year at OT, 'Oooh, I've a feeling in my bones this year / they're in shit form / we're in good form' etc etc etc now give it a rest?
As I said, write off the weekend footie wise when we play at OT.
What the f$&* was that bulls#$?! Beat some sense into that ref.
At last Clattenburg does his thing. Put the game beyond that little glimmer of doubt. You got to laugh, or life becomes too painful. No wonder UTD challenge for the title every year.
My match report will be fun.
Yet another butt plugging at Old Trafford. Why doesn't the club just strike a deal for a default 2-0 loss there every year? The players could use some rest and we wouldn't have lost VdV.
And please quit whining about Clattenburg. It was a penalty, no thanks to Kaboom, and it would've still ended 2-0.
Nani dove Docomo and what makes you so sure they would have scored the penalty? He is a loathsome cheating c*nt and that goal was disgusting and cheap. United and their ignorant fans should be ashamed of themselves. If Sir Alex has any decency he will admit it was ridiculous.
That being said, we didn't deserve to win and since we did have a verrrry lucky decision go our way against Fulham this was fate paying us back.
Not the greatest performance by Spurs but compared to recent drubbings at OT, not a terrible one either.
Not a penalty if the ref saw it and never gave it. Making a second mistake to make up for the first is laughable. Great belief in his lino there.
Gomes should have played to the whistle. Any ways, enough from me till late night. Will keep all the tears for the match report.
Rum awaits.
Pen my arse. Greasy diving c*nt.
Like you said, it's payback. I actually thought we weren't too bad, until VdV went off. We still suffered from the 2 major weaknesses - no decent striker and poor defending.
What is Harry thinking? Keane and Jenas? Really 'arry? REALLY?
Agreed Docomo. When VdV went off and Crouch came on I knew our chances of equalizing were over.
I do agree with some posters above that on some level you just have to laugh. It's soo ridiculous.
I didn't watch the post-match interviews, what did Harry, Fergie, Fani say about it?
No real difference between Nani's goal and when the Scum scored against Sheffield Utd a few years back - when they kept possession after the ball had been put out of play for a SU injury. Spirit of the game? You're right NYC - Nani is a cheat, but that's all part of the game in Portugal. Ronaldo would've done the same for sure.
Also, I remember a game when UTD tapped a free kick and Sheringham nipped it and was in on goal. How quick was the ref to stop the game then? It's ALWAYS special rules for Man U.
Having said that, with Keane and Jenas on the pitch the writing was probably always on the wall.
Very right Big Fish and thanks for bringing up other disgusting stomach turning memories.
Gomes was dumb to put it down but if Nani had an ounce of class (and clearly he doesn't) he wouldn't have challenged for that ball at 1-0. It's the same thing with playing the ball out of bounds when a player goes down (as someone on United did when VdV went down). It would be too funny if that was actually Nani.
We are now equalized with fate and really in the end it wouldn't have really changed the impact of the game. I just hope we can somehow use this to propel us forward against Inter and on to destroy these cheating bastards at the Lane.
Hoping and praying that VdV will be fit for midweek.
Ok Clattenburg is a cunt.....Nani a cheating prick but we didnt score so fuck it, dirty cheating cunting fucking Manc bastards won again. Same old......nothing new!!
Cheltenhamboy......COYS!
Well do what we want!! Welll do what we waaaaaaaant!!! Were man utd well do wot want!!! . Always play to the Whistle NO FREEKICK WAS GIVEN!!!!
@Mannyutd.......Get a life!!
@nycyid, what do you mean by saying "if Nani had any class, he wouldn't have challenged for the ball at 1-0"?
Why the fuck would he not do so? He is being presented with a golden oppourtinity to double the lead for his team, to wrap up the 3 points, and went for it. If Gomes had any brains he wouldn't have put the ball down and stood there with his arms at his sides, Spurs clearly had advantage but he ruined it and gifted our player probably the easiest goal he will ever score in his career.
Slimey cheatin c*nts, too often to be coincidence...
Ha Utdfan
Thanks for turning up on cue and confirming exactly what scum you and your team are.
Zero class.
Utdfan
I would be ashamed of that goal if Tottenham scored it.
You clearly have no shame or class.
@ nycyid - the goal was laughable but do you honestly think that it affected the game, we played you off the park today and whether that should or shouldnt of been a goal, we still would of won.
10% Gomes cockup, 90% Clattenburg.
Lino should have flagged when it occured, Clattenburg should have clearly said play on, Gomes should have played to the whistle and Kaboul should have lamped him at the final whistle. Nani dived and we cannot pretend that is a penalty 10 years ago he would have been laughed at for we he did.
Referees and officials wonder why normal people get annoyed and want to hunt them down but they don't help themselves, open mistakes are accepted but that was an obvious balls up from start to finish.
@nycyid, what has class to do with this? At the end of the day this is football, and you want your team to win, regardless of the manner the game is won in. Yes the goal was harsh on Spurs players but then again they didn't do enough in the game to justify a 'potential' late equalising goal anyway.
If your team was in our situation, with Bale in place of Nani, would you have wanted him to fire the ball home while VDS is 10 yards away preparing to take a goal kick, wrapping up a rare win at OT, or would you have wanted him show his 'class' and just walk away despite the ball being still in play and despite there being a golden oppourtinity to score? Of course not. And like fuck is Bale going to stand there, he would have done exactly what Nani did. Stop being a fucking hypocrite.
Why should I feel ashamed? We won, we kept a clean sheet. Today was Utd's best t performance of the season. We were under pressure to get the 3 points after L'arse and the Rentboys won earlier and we did, so I have plenty to be pleased about. You lost. We deservedly won. Now dry your eyes and move on.
That was your best performance of the season?
Be ashamed anyway, that is your 2nd win having inlfluenced the same referee...
If that had happened in Italy it would be known the referee was in someones pocket
UTDFan - no-one is saying Spurs deserved anything much from that game. What we ARE saying is that even in your hypothetical scenario with Bale scoring, Clattenburg wouldve disallowed it. The pressure on refs at OT is well known and the liked of Webb and Twattenburg just cave in time and time again. The reality is that your club, since the dawn of the Premiership, get more than their fair share of crucial decisions and over the course of a season, it DOES have a massive impact. Now fuck off back to Surrey....
UTDFAN..."YOU WANT YOUR TEAM TO WIN, REGARDLESS OF THE MANNER THE GAME IS WON IN"
REALLY ? IS THAT ALL THAT MATTERS ? SO IF YOU WIN BY CHEATING, KICKING THE OPPOSITION TO PIECES BRIBING MATCH OFFICIALS, BREAKING OPPONENTS LEGS, BLATANT GAMMANSHIP, THATS ALL OK IS IT ?
I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU REALLY MEAN THAT AND FEEL SORRY FOR YOU IF YOU DO.
Let's face it..........it was a goal. Nani (Portuguese for shit-cunt) done what he had to do.....score ! However - what in Gods name was the Ref thinking - Nani had the ball between his greasy fingers! And equally Gomes (Brazilian for Fuck-wit) should have decked Nani after scoring - this would have prevented Nani running across the pitch with his tongue out as if he'd just won the world cup!
On a separate issue - where can I get hold of a pair night vision goggles, cheese wire, a HEL 5.56 Silencer for the M16A1, and my body weight in Duck tape.............anyone?
Best performance of the season?
Played us off the pitch?
If you believe either statement you are clearly in more trouble than I thought.
You deserved to win today. 1-0
Look, as mannyboy pointed out the second goal wouldn't have changed a thing about the result. You got the three points you deserved. 1-0, 2-0 doesn't make a big difference. You're going to need a lot more goals to catch United, son.
As I honestly stated Utdfan, I would have been ashamed if the tables had been turned.
Maybe YOU want your team to win at all costs, and that does seem to be the cheating mentality of your club.
And if so congratulations buddy, you should feel GREAT about yourself. Really. You don't need me to tell you otherwise. Victory is sweet, eh?
I think we're paying for the luck we had at Fulham and I was ashamed of that goal. Gallas was offsides.
Fate is funny that way.
Your payback is on the way mate