Proof that some football managers have brains made of shit

So The Fall Guy has left the building. Turned out to be the perfect little ploy by Mr Levy, to the tune of £3M. He must love it when a plan comes together. Anyways...

Steve Bruce, manager of Birmingham. And twat:

Birmingham have completed the signing of Egyptian midfielder Hossam Ghaly from Premier League rivals Tottenham.

The 25-year-old international has penned a three-year deal at St Andrews after agreeing terms with the Blues.

"The signing of Hossam is an excellent acquisition," said Blues boss Steve Bruce. "I was always impressed when I saw him play for Spurs last season.

"As well as being technically gifted, he can stand up to the physical side of the game and give us that edge."

I think the Bruceisms deserve to be bullet pointed:

• The signing of Hossam is an excellent acquisition
• I was always impressed when I saw him play for Spurs
• Technically gifted
• Can stand up to the physical side
• Give us that edge

Excellent acquisition? Sure, for Tottenham it is. I don't say it often, but credit to the board on this one (don't get too excited people).

Always impressed was Bruce apparently, when watching Ghaly play. When was this then? When he played so poorly he was incapable of holding onto the ball or passing it to a player in the white shirt of Spurs that he was then subbed having come on as a sub? Or the countless other cameo apperances that involved running around like a headless chicken with a ferret up its arse.

Shirtless Ghaly celebrates his move with an apple

Technically gifted? For sure, in the art of pulling his shirt off and throwing it away.

Ghaly can also 'stand up to the physical side' of the game too. Not sure making two-footed reckless challenges counts.

And as for giving Birmingham an 'edge' - truefax. If you want an over-rated, hot-headed talentless ego running around flattering to deceive.

Mido. Next. Please.

FAO Edward

The following article is currently sitting somewhere within the endless linkage of NewsNow.

I Have An Irrational Disgust For Tottenham
Posted on Monday, July 30th, 2007

Edward supports Everton. Edward does not support Arsenal. Edward doesn’t even support West Ham. Yet Edward doesn’t like Tottenham.

I have an irrational disgust for Tottenham Hotspur, bolstered by the fact that everyone from Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho to my obese cousin are tipping them to “break into” the Top 4. Nick Hornby describes them as having a “smug air of ersatz sophistication” and this sums up my feelings on the matter perfectly. The funny thing is, I am an Evertonian. My opprobrium towards these masters of style over substance is purely because of a cold calculating hatred, not due to bitter Arsenal or West Ham football rivalries. Going to “The Lane” is probably similar to becoming a scientologist. Tom Cruise and John Travolta would be the perfect Spurs fans, and Glenn Hoddle isnt too dissimilar to L. Ron Hubbard.

Scientologists believe that 75 million years ago an evil galactic ruler, named Xenu, solved overpopulation by bringing trillions of people to Earth in DC-8 space planes, stacking them around volcanoes and nuking them. Then the souls of these dead space aliens were captured and boxed up and taken to cinemas where they were shown films of what life should be like, false ideas containing God, the devil and Christ.

If all this sounds like nonsense, try talking to Spurs fans, they believe their own footballing version of this: that they should be the rightful leaders of the premiership. Transmitting their superior style of play to the infidels, and restoring their “glory Years”. Spurs are perfect for the new generation of hyped-up, over marketed , sky tv football-watching, habitual masturbating football fans; it is a perfect marriage. Whilst most of us grumble about the state of modern football, for fake plastic Spurs fans, this is their utopia.

One Spurs fan I know told me at the beginning of last season that Spurs were “going to do an Everton” (qualify for the champs league on a shoestring budget) — In fact they did nearly the opposite — they nearly qualified on a budget that would sustain Everton for about a century.

Spurs are the doilies of football, or more precisely a pink and green polka dotted 1970’s bungalow strewn with a cornucopia of doilies; in crochet, beaded and lace. They are needless and grotesque to all but a deluded few.

Hmmm. Ok. Lets break this mother down.

Edward supports Everton.

Really? I doubt it. If he really supported Everton he'd spend most of his time slagging Liverpool off. Fraud alarm already going off on this one.

I have an irrational disgust for Tottenham Hotspur, bolstered by the fact that everyone from Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho to my obese cousin are tipping them to “break into” the Top 4. Nick Hornby describes them as having a “smug air of ersatz sophistication” and this sums up my feelings on the matter perfectly. The funny thing is, I am an Evertonian. My opprobrium towards these masters of style over substance is purely because of a cold calculating hatred, not due to bitter Arsenal or West Ham football rivalries. Going to “The Lane” is probably similar to becoming a scientologist. Tom Cruise and John Travolta would be the perfect Spurs fans, and Glenn Hoddle isnt too dissimilar to L. Ron Hubbard.

I'm lost. You cant be this bitter for being dicked out of 5th spot by us?

Its all media bravado anyway. Jose knows Spurs cant break into the Top 4 yet (most Spurs fans know this too looking at the current state of our unbalanced midfield). But out of the rest of the pack, we are the only club someone like Jose could pick out to pin the 'beware of the pretenders' tag on.

"smug air of ersatz sophistication” - Nice. Quote a gooner because that's really going to help you with your argument using the biased views of the Enemy. Spurs, under Jol, are at least attempting to fanthom some kind of playing style that most can appreciate as entertaining and productive, unlike Evertons uber-bland black and white tv bore tactics that postively make neutrals bleed blood and piss from their eyes as AJ falls over (again) to claim a wonderous penalty.

Jealous perhaps?

Scientologists believe that 75 million years ago an evil galactic ruler, named Xenu, solved overpopulation by bringing trillions of people to Earth in DC-8 space planes, stacking them around volcanoes and nuking them. Then the souls of these dead space aliens were captured and boxed up and taken to cinemas where they were shown films of what life should be like, false ideas containing God, the devil and Christ.

If all this sounds like nonsense, try talking to Spurs fans, they believe their own footballing version of this: that they should be the rightful leaders of the premiership. Transmitting their superior style of play to the infidels, and restoring their “glory Years”. Spurs are perfect for the new generation of hyped-up, over marketed , sky tv football-watching, habitual masturbating football fans; it is a perfect marriage. Whilst most of us grumble about the state of modern football, for fake plastic Spurs fans, this is their utopia.

I quite like the Scientology angle on this. Quite funny, but poorly executed. See, it was 74 million years ago Spurs won the Double, not 75. Check your history books idiot.

Rightful leaders? You've lost me on this. In 30 years time, you'll look back to the 80's (remember that patch when Liverpool failed to win a couple of titles?) and see that as your Glory Days and long for it to be repeated.

Of course our fans are going to look back at the 60's and 70's and 80's and a single season in the 90's and say 'Thats what we want!'. What else is on offer? Gross? Francis? Graham?

Maybe I need to dust off my collection of pre-historic VHS tapes. Spurs have always sought to play a certain way with a certain swagger (damn it, I'm being superior, aint I?). Tottenham are a footballing side, historically. Much like West Ham United are. Manchester United too. Nothing wrong with attempting to continue tradition. Its an identity, right?

And bully for you if Spurs fans expect more from their team that has practically prick-teased us for 40 odd years.

As for your 'Spurs are perfect for the new generation of hyped-up' comment, stop embarrasing yourself. Fake and plastic? Tune into Sky Sports yourself, where you will find much masturbating in the direction of Manchester United, Chelsea, Arsenal and Liverpool. Honestly chief, you don't have a fucking clue, do you?

'Whilst most of us grumble about the state of modern football' - You sound like a miserable twat to be quite honest, Eddie. I bet when you sit yourself down in your bedroom to watch some 1970's porn (those were the true Glory Days) you find yourself staring at the hairy chest of John Holmes rather than the female he is groin-dancing all over, wondering how he manages to trim his chest hair.

You are easily and unnecessarily distracted.

Everybody grumbles about the state of modern day football. We can't smoke, we can't swear, we can't stand. Maybe you should try going to some games outside of Stanley Park.

One Spurs fan I know told me at the beginning of last season that Spurs were “going to do an Everton” (qualify for the champs league on a shoestring budget) — In fact they did nearly the opposite — they nearly qualified on a budget that would sustain Everton for about a century.

Hold up. One Spurs fan? Fuck me, really? You mean a single individuals stated opinion proved ill-judged and thus ended with egg on his face, deeming it a sufficient enough example for you to wrap it round your cock and wave it about for everyone to see?

The Spurs fan in question probably meant that Spurs would claim CL in the same way Everton did so - i.e. 'surprising everyone'. And not in the context of 'Spurs will do what Everton did right down to the smallest detail'.

Maybe I should quote from the various e-mails and text messages I got a few seasons back, gloating about how Everton would do well in the Group stages. See, things don't always turn out the way you think, even if you spent time and effort shouting from the rooftops prior to it. But shouting from the rooftops is what we (football fans) are meant to do. Otherwise, what's the point. West Ham fans sing about being shit. They take anything, any inkling, any crumb of success (be it surviving relegation) and celebrate it like they've won the World Cup (something they did back in 1966). Are they too deluded for loving their club and showing unashamed passion? Of course they are. Football fans, melodramatic, what is the world coming too.

Spurs are the doilies of football, or more precisely a pink and green polka dotted 1970’s bungalow strewn with a cornucopia of doilies; in crochet, beaded and lace. They are needless and grotesque to all but a deluded few.

You play the Z Cars theme music over the tannoy for your players, when they run on the pitch, so stick that up your c*nt.

Spurs needless? I'll tell you what's needless and grotesque, David Moyes screaming from the touchline.

When Harry Met Spooky: An Interview with a Fan

Interview:

http://harryhotspur.blogspot.com/2007/07/interview-with-fan

Comments:

https://www.blogger.com/interview-comments

If we sign Dyer

...I'll unleash hell on Daniel Levy. I don't have anything else to say on the matter.

Petrov signs for City

Some Spurs fans are concluding that Spurs were never in for him. They cant believe for a second he would choose them over us, considering his mate Berbatov plays in Lilywhite and considering we have UEFA Cup football and are generally in a far better state then they are ( City are are rebuilding from scratch).

If we were genuinely not interested then, why? He plays with Berbatov at International level. He has a proven track record. He's a big game player. And he's available.

If we were genuinely interested in him and he rejected us, then this simply illustrates that we dither far too long with signing players.

The left-sided 'problem' remains unresolved. I await to say what all the 'In the Know' gollums have to say about this 'nearly' signing.

Name and Shame

Apparently, in some bar in Loughton, Mr Lennon (pished) was 'aving it large and telling everyone he doesn’t care what people say (with regards to his drinking) and that he Spurs pushed him out of the club because of his behaviour he would be 'ok' because plenty of clubs would be happy to take him on.

Right, firstly, what a fucking crock of shite. This 'rumour/story/exclusive' is simply a bunch of text posted on an Internet forum. It serves no purpose other than to stir up fan opinion against the young urbanish r'n'b hobbit like winger.

Firstly, people in all walks of life with jobs with responsibility go out and destroy their livers on booze or worse. And I've seen no evidence that Lennon is painting the pavement with carrot coloured flavor. He's a young lad who has been photographed a couple of times out on the town and people who either see or snap a photo of him are quick to add in a quote in order to make it all a bit more interesting.

Its cool to be a footballer

I'll give you an example. I saw Jade Goody at Harlow shopping last week. She was with some random bloke (obviously her designated driver) and Jack (her bloke). She walked past me flicking her hair with a look that read 'Yes, its me'.

That's it. Nothing else happened. Now, if I was inclined to shit-stir I'd go posting on a BB forum that I saw her (the truth) and that she was fighting off abuse from other shoppers who were calling her a daft bint (the lie).

You can call this lie 'The Prestige'. A fabrication that gives the truth some weight for it to get noticed when it gets posted.

This type of propaganda is very much what The Agents of Levy partake in. It incites negative energy towards a player.

In this case, the aim would be for fans to turn against the talented Lennon so that when Levy sells him to a rival club (for a substantial amount of dosh) we wont be too fussed. We'll all be:

"Yeah, that Lennon is a proper little Greavise off the pitch with the booze....good riddance"

As (currently) the only active member of the League of Lilywhites, I hereby denounce this bullshit story as bullshit.

Avid readers of this blog will point out that I have been a stern disapprover of the Bling Squad that has developed at the Lane and would like to clearly state that I was quick to judge certain players.

Enjoying the odd beverage in-between training should not be an issue of public concern. The Bling Squad should be allowed to party on as long as performances on the pitch are of a high quality.

I'll be keeping an eye out for any developments of this 'story' on Lennon and will critically attack any member of any Spurs forum who attacks Lennon.

The League Of Lilywhites will NAME AND SHAME.

A Public Apology to Birmingham City FC

It would appear that Mido and Ghaly are back with Spurs training and that the proposed £9M transfer is off. Apparently the glitch concerns the players failing to agree personal terms with the Blues. I'm guessing Bruce and Gold rejected Midos request of a win bonus made up of cheesburgers and fries.

Birmingham playing hard-ball with the two players? Christ, I fucking hope so. They have been the only club to show any interest in the pair, so if they have given up we might be stuck with them.

Petrov on his way, Shirely?

He's meeting with his agent and Comolli today. Levy has apparently delayed flying out to South Africa in order to help conclude the deal.

Therefore, if the deal fails I will hold him personally responsible for pro-longing the left-side problem we've had for the best part of forever.

Orlando Pirates v Spurs

2-1 win, which included a goal from our pre-season gem, Wayne Routledge, once more showing the kind of eye for goal that results with Martin Jol farming him out to an average Premiership side for a season.

Sublime 50-yard pass from Huddlestone to set up Bent who notched up another pre-season goal.

Again, I'm not going to dissect the team and players performance. Its a friendly. Yes, its partly competitive but its still a friendly.

Though special mention to Cerny in goal who looked very comfortable and saved a spot-kick twice, before the rather daft ref asked for it to be taken a 3rd time (no stopping it). His movement looked perfectly legal to me. Strange decision but inconsequential.

Rose

The young lad is still apparently on his way to us. Has the same agent has Lennon and Huddlestone, so should be the new member of the Bling Squad anytime soon.

Oh, and he's a Spurs fan apparently. Hmmm. Much in the same way as Teddy Sheringham supports West Ham.

Liverpool are/were interested, but he's got his heart set on drinking with Aaron and Tommy.

At the age of 17, not too sure how much of a part he will play this coming season. Off the pitch, I'm sure he will look dapper in designer chav gear.

Dire Levy?

Apparently we are interested in Kieron Dyer. That’s the one that doesn't do much for £80k per week, other than shit in the goldfish bowl. Does this rumour consist of any elements of truth juice or is it simply a glass of donkey spunk? And if so, who is holding the glass and would they consider drinking from it to validate the story?

If this transfer was to occur, which would mean that aliens have taken over the brains of the manager, sporting director and chairman at WHL (because surely even they are incapable of agreeing this would be money well spent) then the only resolution would be for me to bring the end of days upon this great civilization we live in.

I’m placing my money on this being nothing more than mis-direction.

£6M 'Dollar' Man

Mido is set for a £6M move to Birmingham, rather than the original one-year loan with an option to buy him out right.

Brummies sign Mido for 6 big ones.
Mido goes for Six Million.
Six Million Mido joins the Blues.
Jol has six million reasons to be happy.
Mido worth £6M in Blues deal.

No matter how I write the news, I still can't quite grasp how we have managed to get so much for someone so bloated. Oh, hold up. Of course. TV money.

Steve Bruce and the Birmingham board

I don't go with the current knee-jerk 'goodbye' reactions of some Spurs fans wishing him luck. He played decent for us 3 or 4 times, doing what any forward player ought to be doing playing for the first team.

So what if he scored a brace on his debut. Fucking 'ell, anyone would think we won silverware that day. He is six million miles away from being a model pro. Good riddance.

Seems that Ghaly will follow Mido to the Blues, for half the amount.

Shame that we wont be spending any of the cash on the 5 or so players we have been linked with recently.

No Boateng or SWP or Petrov (though the former is a done deal according to some 'insiders'. Not heard that one before).