Kenwyne Jones: Is he a Cole or a Drogba?

Palacios has completed his medical, all down to personal terms being agreed now. Would be nice that some day Spurs will have a scouting network that allows them to pick up these players BEFORE they become flavour of the month with other clubs who got there first. An obvious change in mentality is needed. Just because we are a rich club that can attract players to London life doesn’t mean we need to be lazy with our approach and wait for other clubs to pluck players from obscurity, and then wait for us to come in with an over-inflated bid. Well done to Wigan for purchasing a reserve player for less than a million and selling him for fourteen. Now that's sell-on value that Levy would appreciate.

Still no confirmation on Appiah, but the forum and message board 'In The Know' peeps are suggesting it's still going to happen. We shall see.

We have also apparently signed Chelsea keeper Cudicini for a million. Great if he is at the club to give Gomes competition and play as number 2. Not so great if ‘arry has decided to sell Gomes. My money is on Carlo being a replacement for Sanchez. If this is confirmed later on, then good work on getting experienced Premiership cover for this position.

Our interest in Kenwyne Jones seems to have gone quiet due to Sunderland’s insistence that he will not be sold under any circumstances. Two schools of thought about this player, so if you are either Spurs or Sunderland I wouldn’t mind hearing your opinions on him. To be honest, I’ve not seen enough of the guy in action. And Match of the Day highlights when he does play well is not a good basis for making a true educated opinion on his value.

School of Thought #1 ‘He’s a Carlton Cole’

Not that Cole is a bad player to have at the minute (evident by his recent form for the Hammers). Cole’s got rid of the dj’ing and other distractions (and his knees seems to be ok nowadays) and also has the comfort of no competition at West Ham which has actually worked positively in his favour. So is Jones just a clone of Carlton? Jones is not prolific. He is not a natural goal-scorer and arguably has a poor touch and finishing ability compared to other Prem forwards (let alone players actually worth '£15M'). He’s also a bit lazy and apart from being a bit of a lump the only quality he does have is he’s good in the air.

School of Thought #2 ‘He’s a young Drogba’

I’m sure this has stuck from the time Roy Keane said he was the best forward in the country and he wouldn’t sell him for £20M. It was Keane who compared him to Drogba, and others also believe he will develop into the same type of player and that currently he is simply a young version of the Chelsea striker (without the diving). Simply needs to mature as a player before the class shines through. Can you see it? I can’t. Maybe I’m not looking hard enough.

The only question that should be asked (if this deal was to get back on track)? Is he what we need? I’d say what we need at the moment is a foil for Defoe. I don’t have faith in Bent and I think Pav would also probably benefit from a foilesque type of player.

Both JD and Pav are potentially 15-20 goals per season players, if partnered up well (whether that’s together is something Harry needs to work out). So, Jones – or whoever we look at as an alternative – is going to be our 3rd option. And that would have to be a bit of a lump with a touch of pace. Would also be a bonus if he had a good touch and finishing abilities.

Jones is big and can put himself about. And he has pace. And he also fits the Redknapp seal of approval. He’s the type of player he goes for. Obviously, considering we have enquired/bid for him. We also need someone who is strong in the air, and there’s no doubting this particular trait of Jones.

So is he the right forward to help complete the required trinity for survival and progression? Goals have dried up at the Lane since Berba and Keano moved on.

Regardless of whether he is closer to Cole than he is to Drogba (I still don't see it) or somewhere in the middle of the two.

Would you swap him for Bent? Would Sunderland be silly enough to take Bent?

With us being far from safe in our Prem League standing, does Jones fit the bill with the task at hand? If he doesn’t, who does?

Payment plan for Palacios?

According to Wigan boss Steve Bruce, the size of the fee has been agreed between Spurs and the Latics for holding midfielder Wilson Palacios. But as far as the payment is concerned, Bruce has stated that our dear esteemed chairman wants to pay if over something like 55 years.

Obviously a slight exaggeration. It's probably more like 48 years.

Honestly Daniel. Look for those extra pennies behind the sofa and if need be, smash that piggy bank you've got in your office and try and be a little more reasonable with the offer. Or maybe sell the Opus for a discounted price of £3,500 (bargin!).

Have we run out of those £15M reserve transfer buckets?

Still on the Palacios story, loving the piece in the Daily Mail about how Wilson will reject Spurs and stay at Wigan till the end of the season. That's not the bit I smiled at. The part that says Wigan are reluctant to do business with Spurs - much like Sunderland, West Ham, Pompey and Boro having been 'aggrieved' at the way we have gone about our business.

So let's take a look at how we've gone about it.

Who revealed to the media that a bid had been made for Palacios? Wigan.
Who revealed to the media that bids had been made for Bellamy? West Ham.
Who revealed to the media that a bid had been made for Jones? Sunderland.

As for Downing. All Redknapp did (I'm not too critical of him in this case) was answer a direct question from a journalist. Not exactly with the style of a Rafa or Sir Alex either. After that point, it's Boro who did all the 'talking' via the media.

In fact, I see no 'scatter gun' approach in the way we have gone about our (lack of) business this Jan window. We made enquiries, made bids and that is it. If clubs then want to make comments after the fact, that's their prerogative.

For now, all we can do is sit back and wait for an official word from the clubs in question. Then let the media tell everyone like they knew all along.

31 Days in January, 31 too many

Craig Bellamy has apparently gone on strike at West Ham to force them to accept a transfer bid from Spurs. No word on Appiah and whether his trial was successful enough to earn him a contract. Palacios has been virtually done for the past 6 hours, long enough it would seem for Utd and City to now be linked to the player. Jenas isn't going anywhere, which sounds like a description of him running around the midfield area looking for the ball. Bored of Adriano? Don't fret, because Crespo has now rejected us. Bless him. He actually thinks we were interested.

The Sunderland boss had a right old ding-dong go at us for chasing every player in the league, and using the media to do so (the old tap-dance trick), including the courting of his very own Kenwyne Jones. Even though, I'm pretty sure half the time Redknapp is reacting to questions asked after we've made a bid. So either (as 'arry has pointed out) someone within Spurs is leaking information, or agents are doing it once the player finds out a bid has been made for them. It's nothing new. Much like the over-inflated asking prices of said players. Including Jones by the way. Is £15M the new £5M? Did we learn nothing from the Darren Bent transfer? Why do we even encourage this? Keep paying it, they'll keep charging it.

Yes. It's January. And I'm uninspired. So much rumorwhoring. We've obviously bid for a number of players, and inquired for a few. Nothing unusual or unexpected in that. Not sure I agree with the likes of Jones and Bellamy, especially if I'm wearing my Future Hat™. Are these textbook Spurs player we'd sign under any other circumstance? However, if I'm sporting my Present Day Scarf™, then players of this ilk are possibly worthy of having in a relegation scrap. But how far can they take us?

See the paradox there? I seem to want to avoid relegation with the right type of player but also can't help thinking about how these signings will affect us later when we attempt to push forward to the giddy heights we lust for. But alas, gone it seems are the Berbatovesque type of sexy signings usually associated with N17. But is that a bad thing? Could you handle us signing a sublime player only to see him move on the moment Fergie gives him the wink? And sexy signings haven't ever given us the right winning mentality. Few Spurs sides over the past 10-15 years have had that element of ruthlessness. But boy, can we skip and shake our booty now and again.

Arguably, you could say Defoe was a superfluous signing. A sexy signing (which is anything that has Spurs fan's proclaiming the Second Coming). He's an ex-player, returning after a year gone. Cue the 'he's back home' sound-bites. But the Defoe who lost form isn't the type of player we'd want in a scrap. But then that Defoe had to contend with watching Keane and Berbatov strike up a partnership made in heaven. Anyone would suffer and want to get away from that. Way too much tongue and lingering looks between those two.

Palacios, though is one of those proper players Harry needs to help bulk up the team, but Palacios worked well for Wigan based on the fact that Wigan have structure and players who support each other and function within the tactics layed out. Wilson will have no time to bed-in, so trust is with Harry to know exactly how he plans to line-up his post-January Spurs side.

Being linked constantly to forwards rather than a left-winger is also reason to nervously crawl into a corner and sway backwards and forwards very slowly. Downing appears to be a non-starter, so who's the next lucky player to be tagged triffic by 'arry?

And am I a snob to stick my nose up at Bellamy? Or should I simply point to his general moaning attitude, injury issues and poor goal ratio as reason enough for us to keep the faith in our Russian lad?

So we are back to waiting and placing that ever so hard to part with trust in the manager and (gulp) chairman. Harry brings in the 'right' players, instils a backbone to the side, and we climb out of danger and away from the mire and settle for the comfort of 14th place. It's a nosebleed I'm sure we can all keep under control.

But then what? Levy's grand plan of buying young British players with sell-on value is non-existent. He's got a brand spanking new Stadium to think about. So having spent millions upon millions to compete for 4th spot, we are now spending millions to get out of the bottom three and if we do (which I'm sure we will) we'll have to spend millions more to relaunch the Top 4 dream, resorting back to bringing in those quintessential Tottenham flair players (because we're not happy without them). And we'll be back to where we were 3 or so years ago. Which means..............YES! WE'VE GOT OUR TOTTENHAM BACK!

I understand the masterplan now. Be patient, and we'll be back to our Barcelona shirt-wearing best in no time.

If only January never existed. Every day seems to last forever with the constant breaking news and inside information forum exclusive and yellow ticker on Sky Sports News.

15 days left. Wake me up in 16.

It's a mad mad mad mad world...

Can someone find a moment to help me define what exactly constitutes a ‘flop’? Because Gio do Santos appears to be the very personification of one according the media who, almost every other week, like to tell us that he isn’t wanted by Spurs and that he is set to be shifted out (PSG the current tabloid choice of the week).

This is the same Gio that Harry Redknapp couldn’t wait to have back from injury. Oh yes, the wee lad has been out for a while and hasn’t been able to play. Did you not know that? Regardless of his injury how dare he fail to impress chilling on the treatment table listening to his ipod. What a waste of money hey?

Honestly, get a grip.

I know it’s the Jan transfer window and it’s the time of year when journalists, sports writers and editors all over the country lobotomise each other with pencils as they conduct a symphony of monkeys on typewriters who churn out transfer story after transfer story to the theme tune of Saint and Greavise. What? You thought Jenas to Madrid wrote itself?

We all know that the stories we read whilst munching on our coco-pops are an amalgamation of half-truths, guess-work, the bleeding obvious and agent whispers. Add to the mix Harry Redknapp and his batphone and the press are practically drowning in gossip column exclusives.

Gio is a talent. He’s young and proven at all international levels he’s appeared at for Mexico. Not the finished article by a longshot. He obviously isn’t as naturally gifted or talented as Bojan or Messi – but then you’ll be hard pressed to find players of the same age who are. He left Barcelona simply because of the likes of Messi. There’s no way in for him. Joining Spurs and finding himself playing for a team with no direction, structure or confidence isn’t the ideal way to kick-start your life in the Premiership. Getting injured and being out for a lengthy period sort of puts the dampers on any type of progression.

So unless Redknapp is telling fibs (that’s unpossible) why on earth would we want to get rid of a player that hasn’t had a chance to shine? A creative player, one that tore it up in the U17 World Cup back in 2005 and again in the U20 World Cup in ’07. A player we could do with as an option once we sign some 'proper' up-for-a-relegation-battle fighters to give us the required backbone to help protect him as he dinks down the wing.

Gio isn’t the only player ‘on his way’ according to our esteemed journo friends and their monkey companions. Bentley is also on the list. It’s fair to say he has been a titanic disappointment. Here’s a player that is basically very decent on his day. He isn’t great, but he’s very good and would grace practically all Prem clubs (apart from the top 4 who do possesses ‘great’ quality). However, our David, is too distracted by the fact that he thinks he’s great. Highlights and Beckham comparisons aside, when he isn’t star-jumping David is trying way too hard rather than simply playing for the team and doing the simple things. We’ve seen this before. We saw it with Gomes. Confidence is drained and you can’t even muster up school-boy basics. But selling him so soon after signing him is a pointless exercise (although if there is one club that is masterful at being pointless it's us). If Spurs manage to claw back some form, Bentley will most likely begin to shine.

He’s still actually the wrong type of player for Spurs. A bit superfluous at times, even when ‘on form’. Not the backbone made of steel type of team player Spurs have been crying out for 20 years. But then when have we ever gone out and signed the right type of player?

Another one who is set to leave WHL is our dear beloved Jermaine Jenas. The perpetually potentially 'great' box-2-box player. An enigma. Undroppable for so many seasons at Spurs, doesn’t do much unless it’s against the likes of Derby or a depleted Arsenal side. Yet on occasions is somehow inexplicable ‘missed’ from the team when he doesn’t play. You know what I mean? You’ve heard Spurs fans say it:

“I hate to say it, but we missed Jenas today”

You can’t explain why, but you find yourself believing it and when he does play, you’re smashing the keyboard as you punch your frustrations posting on a Spurs message board calling him 'useless'. What does Jenas do exactly? It's not an easy question to answer.

JJ has been linked with (as mentioned earlier) Madrid and also Everton and Wigan and probably one or two other clubs, with his value measured between £3.5M to £8M. If Palacios arrives at the Lane (and he plays as a DM) then is it really Jenas under threat or Zokora? Or will Harry play Palacios and Zokora together? And what of Appiah? Is he the backup plan in case we fail to bring in a bog-standard £15M (or so) signing? Palacios and Modric in centre-mid will do me just fine.

Then you have the forwards. Defoe (can he actually hold up the ball or beat the offside trap?), Pav (he's not been the country for long) and Bent (on his way to Villa?). A mish-mash of styles, none of them suited to play with each other. Otherwise, why would we be courting the ever-smiling Craig 'who took a dump in my corn flakes?' Bellamy?

Then there’s the story that has somehow fallen under the media's radar concerning Arshavin. Arsenal haven’t actually made a bid (which explains Latcher’s insistent moaning) and Spurs and Zenit have long agreed a deal, the basis being that if nobody matches it then he signs for Spurs. Yep, that’s right. Transfer fee as well as personal terms all agreed and sorted. It was all agreed and sorted back at the last deadline, till around 11:40pm when Zenit started playing silly buggers again and the deal failed to complete by midnight. But the agreement stayed in place. If nobody bids the exact same amount of more, then Zenit have to process the deal cometh the deadline. And when is the deadline? 16th January. Today. Must be true cause I read it in an internet fourm, LOLZ.

If you’re going to ask me to hold onto my hat, don’t bother. I’ll probably be eating it later on. If those pesky monkeys haven’t got a hold of it before me.

His name was Prince

And off he goes. Kevin Prince Boateng has joined Dortmund on loan till the end of the season. That's one of the players Harry in-directly slated the other day as not being good enough. I guess all the Comolli signed 'youngsters' are going to be farmed out now. So one hopes new arrivals are imminent, otherwise we are left with even less depth in an already unbalanced squad.

Gomes (someone bid £7M for him - but it's been rejected) looks like staying, which is actually a relief. He's fought back well from his early season disasters.

Downing is dead in the water. Not literally, that would be homicide. Gibson is unmoveable on the subject that no Boro players will be leaving the Riverside. Which is fine. If it was up to me, nobody from Middlesbrough would be allowed to leave the town. Ever. I'd have a wall built around the place.

Has Defoe signed yet?

Can't Spurs ever just sign a player, straight-forward transfer, parading him only after the ink has dried? Nah. Not fucking likely. No official word yet, so the tabloids are stirring it up with rumours about no fee agreed and legal issues with Spurs re-signing Defoe so soon after selling him.

Personally, find this a little more interesting, and far more likely:

Tottenham also inserted a sell-on clause when they sold Defoe, which entitled them to a percentage of any future transfer fee. Given the sums involved, that would have amounted to £4m. But Portsmouth negotiated that figure into the final package while the monies that they already owed to Tottenham in instalments on previous transfers were factored in as well.

Portsmouth were due this month to pay the balance on Defoe's transfer to them, a figure of £4.5m, while they also owed £5m on the switch that Younes Kaboul made last summer and £2m on Pedro Mendes' transfer in January 2006.

Little money has actually changed hands on Defoe's return to White Hart Lane but Portsmouth sources are satisfied they have made a £6m profit on him in just under a year. They also received £5m from Tottenham in compensation when Redknapp traded places.

Spurs are stupid, but not stupid enough to parade him before a game. And Pompey are broke and need the cash. It's done.

Defoe recalled from loan

£15M collection fee. Medical is all that's left to make sure our goods have not been damaged during the rehabilitation period spent by the sea-side.

Brilliant signing. JD can play deep, hold up the ball and help out the midfield when the opposition overload that part of the pitch. His skills at beating the offside trap and playing clever quick thinking passes in and around the box will fill the void left by the departures of Keane and Berbatov.

Astute transfer this. Great bit of business. Chuffed.

Transfer Latest

Ghana international Stephen Appiah is apparently set to sign for us.

28 years old.
Defensive midfielder.

Can he tackle? Yes.
Can he dribble? Yes.
Can he pass the ball forwards? Yes.
Can he shoot? Yes.
Will he cost us £8M in transfer fees? No.

The lad is out of contract (although there's a legal ding-dong going on with his former club Fenerbache) but this won't apparently stop him from training with us, with a view to moving to the Lane till the end of the season. What we might save in transfer fees may well be spent on his wages (I'm going to laugh if the rumours of him wanting 70k per week are true. Then cry).

Obviously, the main problem with this happening is that Appiah is a bit of an injury prone players. We love a bit of that at Spurs. Hence the initial 'until the end of season' contract. Does beg the question: Are there no other potential targets who wont cost a bomb in wages and are not prone to dodgy knees?

Elsewhere, Chimbonda has been linked with a 'shock return' to Tottenham. I guess he's bottled out of walking all the way to Lyon and plans to jump on a Virgin train back to the capital.

Like fuck. Do one Pascal.

The Downing Saga is back. And the third instalment will round off the trilogy splendidly. It's always a good laugh to read between the lines when it comes to chairman and managers making 'over my dead body' statements about players. Spurs are not quite doing a 'Man Utd' by unsettling players. Sure, Harry did talk about Defoe and Downing publicly. So maybe that was a little naughty, but Spurs have almost immediately put their money where their mouth is and make a couple of bids. Both rejected. Although according to news sources, the difference between Spurs and Pompey's estimation for the players is £1.5M. With Downing, he's gone the whole hog and handed in a transfer request.

Gibson's war cry about 'knuckling down and focusing on the job' is pretty much the Alamo for him and Southgate. It's not like he's going to come out and say 'Yes, we are willing to sell the player. We want XXX amount for him'. He'll attempt to drag this out till the final day of the transfer if need be to avoid it from happening, and if it does happen it will be because he's managed to bleed us dry in the process. And why not? He's looking after his club.

I'm more curious about the forthcoming 'undisclosed fee' for Defoe to help Levy avoid embarrassment.

With Downing, the transfer request will no doubt once more influence fan opinion and as noted, Gibson will do his utmost to make the whole process fairly tricky for us. One thing to note here, is that all the talk is coming out of Boro at the minute. They were the ones who told the media that no players are for sale. And they revealed the bid from us was 'derisory', and reiterated again there will be no sale. Go back a few weeks and Southgate was almost inviting bids. All part of the flirting game clubs play.

So. Potentially we might get ourselves a left-winger, a striker and a DM.

Shocking stuff.

Waiting for that day

5 days left. I’m going to try and round things up with little humour and satire (saving it all for the clusterfuck of a letter I’ll be writing post-Chelsea defeat/transfer window closure).

Berbatov, an outcast if you believe what you hear, is still struggling to engineer his move to Utd via his good hearted agent. Levy can either hold out for £30M (or whatever his estimation is) or find himself with egg on face by selling him to Utd for whatever Utd offer. Dimitar, unfortunately, is no Gareth Barry. Levy is no Cool Hand Luke. After all that’s been said, if he gives in to Fergie and sells him even for a million less that his ‘value’ then what exactly was the point? Can we handle the publicity of retaining Berbatov? In principle don’t see why not if we don’t get an acceptable bid. We got one for Keane, which is why he was sold. That and 6 years loyalty. But keeping the Bulgarian will be more trouble than its worth based on his sulking and hissy fits. Which means ‘egg on face’ is the most likely of outcomes, which is why Fergie is so smug. Levy has been played.

Monaco this Friday is where, you would hope, Spurs/Utd/Zenit finally conclude their bit of business. The Arshavin deal is apparently back on again (was it ever off?) which would help ease matters substantially if he joins round about the same time that Pavlyuchenko receives his visa. No official word from Spurs, but Pav has told everyone he’s Spurs bound. Not a bad player, taking into account his record from the past few seasons – but not as accomplished as Berbatov was prior to his move to us from Germany. Huntelaar has been linked, though his agent has denied the tabloid stories. Not fussed with this, as recent Dutch signings to the Prem (Kezman, Kuyt) haven’t exactly been rock’n’rolla. Same applies with the Radamel Falcao link (Colombian who plays for River Plate).

Veloso (DM) and Corluka (CB, RB) have also been linked again this week. Whether stories are being rehashed due to desperation or their clubs are now itching to let them go with the deadline looming is anyone guess. City are being linked with Zabaleta, whose agent has said that the player won’t be competing with Corluka for the RB position. Whether that means they are both set to play in different positions for City or that Corluka will be sold is a ITK’s wet dream.

Pavlyuchenko.
Arshavin.
Veloso.
Corluka.

If those four were signed, then the ‘SPURS FOR 4TH SPOT’ delusion will back on course. Regardless of the 3 played, 3 defeats, 0 points standing order cometh the 1st September.

Lee YP has departed. Couple of other reserve players (including Pekhart) have gone out on loan. Several others, I’m sure will be picked up (loan or otherwise) before next Monday.

Going back to Berbatov again, story of the week has focused on him now being an outcast at the Lodge. Whether Woody did have a word with Berbatov or not is debatable. The Bulgarians strops and sulks are petulant but to call him disruptive is quite ironic considering he was our best player when he came on as a sub against Boro. Ramos and Woodgate have publicly disagreed with each other over the disruptiveness (Ramos saying it’s affected the dressing room, Woodgate saying we can’t use that to blame for our results). So to then read that allegedly Woody had a go at him in the ‘dressing room’ and since then the player has been isolated seems a tad hypocritical. Funny old game.

It’s not good regardless, and the fact both are talking about him rather than ‘Spurs’ is pretty much evidence of how Berbatov is not a good person to have anywhere near the club at the moment. Shame he can’t be a professional about it and play his heart out while both Spurs and Utd attempt to come to some sort of agreement. I refer you back to the Barry reference.

Pain in the Arse

So, Zenit have apparently spent 30 million euros on 'Danni' - a replacement for Arshavin who they finally admit will (should) be leaving them for a new club. To coincide with this, the trustworthy press (who only 2 days ago let us know that Spurs are no longer interested and that Zenit would not drop their estimation for the player) have dropped their estimation for the player and will now accept a bid lower than £20M.

Cue, 'he might still go to Spurs' stories cropping up all over the place. Not that I don't rate him, but where would he fit in? Could he play the role Berbatov does? Is he a replacement for Keane? It's difficult to assess because he is a different type of player to the both of them, and to be fair we haven't had a Berba type of player for an absolute age so expecting a direct replacement would be bordering on the ridiculous. Doubt we could manage to get that luck so soon.

Bent. Arshavin. So that's a direct forward, a traditional sort of 'number 10' attacking mid forward......which means we need one more of the explosive type. Until then, expect us to pull out of the race for his signature and then re-enter it about half a dozen times.

Anytime soon

"I'm now in Tottenham but no-one can disagree with me wanting to follow my dream"

~ Dimitar Berbatov

Yes, that's right. His dream. The very same one he rejected 2 years ago to join Spurs instead. The git.

Spurs have apparently not given a final 'fuck off' to Zenit yet regarding the Arshavin deal. The Russians wanting £19.5M for the transfer to go ahead. His agent said its been four days since Spurs spoke to Zenit. The Sky Sports News grapevine tells us Arshavin isn't our main target. We must be back in for Raziak then. Sweet.

I wish this would end, but with news that the transfer window has now been extended till midnight, September 1st, the footballing Gods have a perverse way of prolonging the agony.

Deflected own goal

‘Dry them’ is probably what I would say if I believed Daniel Levy was sincere with his statement about Manchester United and Liverpool’s behaviour. Devious and calculated are words better associated with his actions. As he sits in his throne room with scantily clad women feeding him grapes and sucking his toes, having his PA dictating his latest rant, you and I both know that this is nothing more than a PR stunt to help deflect the fact that we are about to lose the only functioning part of the team. It is however understandable. He is protecting the interests of the club and the team. He knows as well as anyone we have lost these players already so why not deflect the disappointment and turn it into hate, vented towards Fergie and Rafa.

Regardless of whether Ferguson mentioned Berbatov’s name, either in the newspaper stories featured in most red tops and broadsheets or the alleged fans meeting and regardless of the fact that he has further evidence documented – we all know nothing much will happen other than two players leaving Spurs and probably two arriving as replacements.

So why the dramatics? Why the crusade to uphold the integrity of the game when we all know that everybody is involved in talking to players or other clubs managers outside of the correct process? It’s no secret that Utd want Berbatov. The players head was turned a long time ago. And rejecting a Liverpool bid for Keane doesn’t mean he won’t find out via his agent what the Anfield side have to offer.

Let’s run through the delightfully punchy statement.

There has been substantial speculation in respect of the futures of Dimitar Berbatov and Robbie Keane, including press comment from both Sir Alex Ferguson and Rafa Benitez. In response our Chairman, Daniel Levy has made the following statement: "Today's public comments by Manchester United's manager, announcing that he has made an offer for Dimitar and is confident that the deal will go through with time working in their favour, is a blatant example of sheer arrogance and interference with one of our players. It is also probably one of the worst offences by any manager in the Premier League to date and is unbelievably hypocritical given his recent comments in respect of Cristiano Ronaldo and Real Madrid.

Did he or didn’t he mention Berbatov’s name? The interview given at the airport has Ferguson state he has bid for a player but doesn’t state a name although it’s quite obvious to everyone there and watching on TV who it is. Others are suggesting Ferguson does mention Berbatov in another interview with United fans. Regardless, what’s the complaint about? It’s not tangible because all it amounts to is arrogance. So as far as disrespect is concerned, sure. Ferguson is being disrespectful by suggesting it’s a done deal more or less. He’s predicting a black eye of a future and it’s not nice when a bigger lad pushes you around the play ground, slapping your head with glee and unmovable confidence. There’s no detention for the bully. The headmaster is too busy chatting up the dinner ladies. But complaining and bitching about the inevitable won’t change the fact that nothing ever comes of this. The harsh truth is that football is full of liars and cheats and people in positions of power, managers included, will forever go outside the rules and guidelines, even when it’s not necessary. Ferguson is a master. And not too often are complaints made through the official channels.

"Hurry up lads, I'm late for my medical"

‘Confident a deal will be done’ is the usual high level hypocrisy we know he is capable of, acting the Billy Big Bollocks when he wants to be and throwing toys out the pram when he experiences it himself. It's double standards. The trait of the successful no less.

"This comes after a series of events, dating back to last summer, which have shown Manchester United to be in breach of Premier League (PL) rules. As a result, we have today made an official complaint to the PL about the conduct of Manchester United. Benitez made similar comments in respect of Robbie recently and we made an official complaint to the PL about the conduct of Liverpool earlier this week.

Why not complain about United last summer? Has Levy been compiling a dossier because he believes this will bring United down to their knees? I doubt very much they will unzip and gag. Tapping up players, making illegal approaches – whatever you want to call it is common practice. It’s not right, but how else can – for example – a manager of one club know and understand the interest of another? Levy surely isn’t naive to think that there is no contact prior to an official approach and permission granted. Daniel should have a chat with Paul Kemsley about his trip to Spain.

Same type of thing applies to players. If a player is at a club, and a club rejects a bid from another club – the player might be curious to know what offer is on the table, as far as personal terms are concerned. He can hand over a transfer request or he can ask the club to accept a bid so he can talk to the interested club. But in addition, he will have his agent talk to representatives of the interested club so he can sample a taster of what he will earn. Is it above board? Of course not. Does it break Premier League rules? Yes. Still happens though. And even when a club is punished for it, it’s not a devastating moment for all concerned. A few thousand pounds in fines and some moderately bad publicity. The way Levy ends the statement doesn’t suggest that either player will find themselves in the same position Ashley Cole did.

"The behaviour of both clubs has been disgraceful. We told both clubs very early on that we had no interest in selling Robbie or Dimitar, respectively, and that they should refrain from pursuing the player.

So let me get this straight. Levy told Utd and Liverpool we are not interested in selling either Berbatov of Keane and he expected them to walk away without even a whisper? Since when has that stopped anyone from chasing a player?

Both clubs arrogantly chose to ignore this request and we now have evidence that both clubs have systematically been working to prise the players away from us, outside of PL rules of conduct. Our subsequent position has been severely compromised by both clubs making their intentions widely known and indeed making contact with the players and their agents, without the Club's permission.

I’ll issue an apology if our Chairman proves to everyone that he does have evidence – and it would have to be damning for the Prem League to do something about it by going up against Sir Alex Ferguson. But an apology in such circumstances would be joyous.

Drag queen Dimitar

Shame on the likes of United and Liverpool for making public their interests in signing players and discussing potential transfers. No other clubs do that, that I can’t think of. At least not direct quotes from managers. I don’t think we ever do it. In fact I’m certain we don’t say a thing until the other club have accepted an offer and a medical has been booked. And regardless the ‘did he didn’t he’ conundrum of Ferguson’s alleged Berbatov comment and the fact that even Bryan Robson has been publicly airing his opinions on the subject, you would still need to have a Man Utd representative wearing a Utd scarf meeting Berbatov in a motorway McDonalds accepting a Utd shirt to stand even half a chance of seeing them punished.

If we do have the evidence, then I wonder why Levy had to latch onto an alleged newspaper quote – which is the only thing Ferguson has appeared to comment on and can quite easily be washed away with any other tabloid dirt. Is it really possible that Utd and Liverpool would risk the wrath of another Prem League chairman, especially one as excitable as Levy? Would be nice.

"I have absolutely no wish to sell either player and to date we have not accepted any offer for either. However, when a player's head is turned and their commitment is absent, particularly when they occupy key positions such as that of striker, they become a negative influence in a team dressing room in which they were once a positive addition and influence. This is the situation we now have on our hands, with both Dimitar and Robbie having made it clear that they wish to leave for Manchester Utd and Liverpool respectively.

"Irrespective of the outcome and futures of Robbie and Dimitar, we are continuing to seek to bring in quality, talented players for the future, who want to play in a Spurs shirt."

Ooh that word ‘however’. It decimates all that comes before it. The above perfectly illustrates the crux of the problem. Players, either directly via a club representative speaking to his agent or by the means of a manager telling the press how much he rates him or a friendly reporter making up a story to force the issue – it’s ludicrous to believe a player wont move clubs if official routes are initially blocked.

Levy knows this. Although he isn’t laying too heavy a blame on the individuals by suggesting heads have been turned but does criticise them for lacking commitment. Although some of the pics from Spain suggest otherwise. Although more than likely, Berbatov is acting up as per usual and Keane is probably throwing a strop in training (just not when he is being carried by mates on the beach). It’s almost apologetic. It’s very much inevitable.

I’ve actually gone through various opinions and emotions the past few days, and I can’t quite find myself caring too much about this now other than to say:

Sell both players
Buy replacements
Push on

You might think I’m being a tad harsh with all this. I’m not. I just don’t expect to be surprised. Ferguson, as great and successful as he has been is guilty of countless shameless moments, on (bullying refs) and off (transfers) the pitch. And yet he has the undying support and love of all the media hacks. It would be a fairytale if something was done about it and maybe then things might start to change a little. You’d get better odds on Spurs finishing 4th.

With the current monopoly in the Premier League, the Top Four will always pick and choose who they want and anyone from the likes of Robbie ‘I’ve found my spiritual home’ Keane and the apparently modest down to earth Bulgarian will rip up their contracts to move on if something bigger and better comes along. Can we blame them? Does beg the question why Berbatov even bothered to ignore Utd to sign for us in the first place. Probably a case of Utd making sure he can play in the Prem before they launch their bid and Dimitar proving the case. Keane, as good as he is, isn’t great. He is replaceable. So don’t fret too much. It's up to him if he wants to go from being a big fish in a little pond to....well, you know the rest. But it's subjective anyways. Keane could do great things at Liverpool or he could fall victim to Rafa's rotation revolution.

The reason Levy is frustrated is the same reason we all are. We buy quality players, they prove themselves at this level and then they’re picked up because two years on they realise that they have to move on to play in the Champs League. It's the stepping stone ethos. Players are about careers and are loyal to the club that suits their needs.

How will it change? One of the top 4 has to fuck up and we have to be lucky enough to take their place. Almost happened once. Until the next time....

~S