Jol Press Conference

Click me: Jol Interview from the Beeb

Looks drained, tired. Angry too. Hides it well behind jokes and mentions of support from 6,000 emails along with the ‘love of Berbatov’. Though it’s hinted (and obvious) that Man Utd have enquired about our beautiful Bulgarian.

Crooks asking the questions. Thankfully, his mug in a pink shirt is not viewable.

Jol saying all the right things, and you almost want to believe that the media took this ‘story’ earlier this week and turned it something one thousand times worst than what it actually was – like taking a mogwai, slapping it about a little and giving it Chinese burns before dipping it in water.

I said ‘almost’. The fact the club waited so long to deny everything says more about the morning after cover-ups and interviews.

Everything spoken suggests nothing has changed with regards to the future. Doubt that will be the case. He is under insurmountable pressure now to claim 4th spot. Unfair and unnecessary pressure. Completely the fault of the chairman. If we crack and it all goes to pieces its down to Daniel Levy.

Daniel, pray that you have created a monster from this public humiliation and that Jol responds with acute ruthlessness that inspires the players and team forward.

Otherwise, kiss it goodbye.

Justified

Now we have to endure stories of Defoe allegedly telling Jol he won’t sign a new contract, furious that he only got 15 minutes against Derby. On top of this, the rumourwhoring machine has spat out a story that states that after the Everton defeat Berbatov and Robinson had a massive disagreement, which resulted with Jol siding with Robbo.

Again, its been said a million times by a million Spurs fans in the past two days, but only we can take a stable situation and smash it into a hundred million pieces.

Levy's Machiavellian masterplan appears to have fallen short of turning the fans against Jol, but has made his (Jol's) position unattainable and Levy' equally so in the eyes of the fans. Levy and his minions couldn't even get it this right, an embarrassing incompetent plan executed with no precision and has only served to destroy all the work done by our Dutch manager. I'm thankful for it. At least now everyone can see that Levy isn't this whiter than white messiah that will guide the club forwards.

If....and its a huge if.....some of the rumours are true and Jol has fallen out with players and does not command the respect of the team as a whole - there's about a thousand ways of dealing with it without making it look as shambolic and pathetic as its turned out.

It's not Jol who is dead man walking anymore. Its the board of directors. For the first time, I might not be alone in burning my season ticket.

I'm talking big fuck off bonfire over here.

The Club Speaks

An official word, from the club....a bit late in the day:

The Club is aware that there has been much speculation over the past few days in respect of our Manager, Martin Jol. As you know, the Club does not respond to speculation, but we do feel in this instance it is important to clarify the current position. Manager Martin Jol and Assistant Manager, Chris Hughton met with the Chairman, Sporting Director Damien Comolli and members of the Board today – discussions were held re-confirming our aims for the season, the development of the full potential of the squad and taking the Club forward.

“We have had two good, progressive seasons with fifth place finishes. I am an ambitious Chairman, we are an ambitious Club and we want Champions League football at White Hart Lane,” commented Chairman, Daniel Levy. “We, the Board, owe it to the Club and the supporters to constantly assess our position and performance and to ensure that we have the ability to operate and compete at that level. We have made a massive investment in the squad and as a result we have the best squad of players this Club has had for over 20 years and they are equally hungry for success and silverware. For that we need our management and coaching standards to be of the highest quality such that players can fulfil their potential and we can compete with the best. We have discussed all of these expectations with Martin and he has confirmed to me today that he feels he is equipped with a squad and a determination to take on that challenge.”

Martin added: “We had a full and frank conversation and I fully understand the ambitions of the Club – they are the same as those of the supporters. He has put a lot of hard work into this Club and with the squad of players we have assembled, it is realistic that we should look to challenge for a top four position and I have assured him and the Board that that is what I shall aim for.

“The last two seasons we have finished fifth and this season we start with an even better team. So we should be optimistic. Yes, it is pressure to deliver, but that is what we managers should expect. Hopefully all the media will relax now – all I shall be concentrating on is each and every game.”

This statement does nothing more than confirm every two-bit rumour that has been dropping from the skies like diseased pigeon shit for the past week. The board has no faith in Jol and this statement illustrates 'crisis talks' with the big Dutch bear to hand him his task: Finish 4th or else. The statement offers nothing. The English press, tabloids and broadsheets, have every right to rip us to shreds after this self-mutilated mess especially when the chairman/directors offer the fans and the world a complete non-event of a statement.

Damage has been done. Might even be the case that he has decided to go/been pushed and that as part of the compensation package he has to stay in charged till Ramos arrives. Sorry, for a moment I thought I was presenting Sky Sports News.

Top 4 finish? Is he 'aving a larf? Thats mission impossible. The chairman appears to be demanding something that not even the most hardcore Spurs are. Ramos has obviously told Jol to come back in 2008.

Disgraceful.

EDIT: Round about the same time over in Spain, the Seville chairman, Del Nido, has held a press conference announcing that Ramos is staying for at least another year.

Never saw that coming.

Afternoon Update

News items from the Evening Standard:

- Jol on his way out
- Repeats of the Berbatov/Jol row story
- Ramos has had an offer from Spurs and will give an answer in two weeks. Wants to compete in the Super Cup v AC Milan on Sept 1
- A 'Source' close to Ramos says 'meeting/offer did take place'
- Tottenham wanted to keep it quiet. Ramos is unhappy with 'behind the scenes' problems at Seville and is thinking very hard about offer
- Ramos started taking English lessons last year

So, we are set to get rid of Jol BEFORE Ramos agrees to join? And if Ramos takes the two weeks to decide, then goodbye transfer window deadline. Wonderful timeframe there to get this problem sorted.

If true......it's comedy. I swear, I'm on the verge of becoming the most anti-spurs spurs fan of all time. Like I said. Season over. Another transitional period brought on by directors who think they are bigger than the club, and more important than the fans. They have fucked it up...again.

Levy continues to groundhog day us over and over again:

Graham - Sacked a week before an FA Cup Semi Final against Arsenal. Perfect timing.

Hoddle - Was at no point backed 100% in the transfer market and was then sacked 5 games into a season with no replacement lined up. Everyone believed (from the stories pouring out of WHL - that Hoddles ego was the problem and that he was at fault for signing the wrong players).

Pleat - Placed in charge of the first team for a whole season. WHY would anyone wish to do that?

Santini - Brought in, probably because the other 10 targets all rejected a move to WHL. Santini appeared to completely mis-understand what his powers he had at the club as coach, thinking he was in fact manager. Huge huge mistake of an appointment.

Jol - Brilliant appointment by... Frank Arnesen. Levy seems hellbent on ridding Jol from the club. Yes, Jol...the best thing to happen to this club for 20 or so years.

If Ramos joins Spurs he will be Levy's 6th manager. Thats the sixth man employed by Levy. And in that time only Jol has actually made progress and appeared to know what he was doing. You cant dismss two 5th spots and the fact that the fans are singing their hearts out for a bald Dutch man who starts every sentence with 'no'. We are not an easy lot to please. We have got it right, Levy, you smug sonofabitch. You haven't.

6 managers. And 3 directors of football. That's some nailed on stability for you there from DL.

Levy might know his way around wage structures and releasing funds to purchase players but appears to lack basic footballing decision making instincts on how to leave a coach alone to run the team. Which, is ironic, as the whole point of the DoF system is that the club buy the players and the coach works with them and everyone gets on famously. Its obviously not working. Not because the system is at fault, but because the people in place away from the first team are mugs.

I'll leave you with this for the time being. Posted by Cule-Spur on gg.net. Some of this is already being reflected in the Spanish media and in England.

Of course, that overlooks the possibility that Comolli is possibly restricted by the general lack of faith at board level with Jol. I mean, if Jol tells the board that he wants Downing, Boro quote £12m, Levy tells Comolli he isn't spunking £12m on Jol's target unless he (Comolli) rates him aswell, Comolli says he doesn't rate him, and that's that.

Endless permutations. Maybe Comolli comes back and says, "we should get Ben Arfa". Jol says, "I want Downing and if you get Ben Arfa, I'm not going to play him - he's too lighweight for our midfield", etc.

It's all clear as mud, as I said earlier. Whichever way you look at it though, it's not a question of Jol or Comolli, simply because even if you remove Comolli there are still clear problems with Levy/the board and Jol's relationship.

Ramos has a year left on his contract but it is a rolling contract and the whole set up at Sevilla is fairly complicated. There is a rift between Ramos and club President, Del Nido, over the terms of that contract. Ramos, justifiably, feels that he should be given a fairly substantial and long term deal for all that he has acheived. Del Nido, on the other hand, is an egomaniac ( possibly the biggest arsehole working in football with the possible exception of Calderon and Taxi Shinupwhatsisface). Its not just the issue of the contract but the fact that Del Nido parades himself around as if he is soley responsible for the club's success.

I can't comment on the Tottenham end of things as it falls well outside my remit, but I can shed some light on things at the Spanish end. As I understand it, and this comes from very close to Ramos, the meeting that took place was staged by Ramos' agent. His agent contacted a couple of contacts in the Mardrid press (one of whom I spoke to Yesterday) and made it known that the meeting was taking place, who would be there and even where they should stand if they wanted a photo.

The idea, on the eve of the Supercup final, was to place pressure on Del Nido with Ramos making it clear that he is in demand. Tottenham have been chatting up Ramos for a long time. Not neccesarily with an eye to making a firm move but rather to developing a strong relationship with arguably the most promising manager working in the game right now.

Before everyone gets on their high horse and starts screaming about loyalty to Jol etc etc - lets be very clear. This game is a business. Tottenham should be applauded for developing a strong bond with a manager who is so highly sought after. It shows forward thinking and shrewd business sense. There is no loyalty in football and six months is an eternity.

When Levy started chatting up Ramos who knows what the next six months promised - Jol could have quit, gone to Manchester United, fallen out with all and sundry or, god forbid, been hit by a bus. Remember how when we signed Berbatov he revealed that he chose Tottenham because we had been after him for a long time and that our interest was genuine and that the way we had courted him was impressive.

Its the same thing - In football contacts are everything and if for whatever reason we find oursellves managerless on any given day then its reassuring to know that the club has a strategy.

Now back to my little tale as I have it in Spain. John Alexander gets the phone call and trundles along to the Alfonso XIII hotel in Sevilla. ;This is where it gets interesting. According to a Marca journalist - who is running this today - Ramos' agent was expecting a coffee and a natter (as has happened on numerous occasions before only without the cameras lurking). Totally unbeknown to him , Alexander turns up with Kelmesly who offers Ramos a 4-6 year deal along with a gargantuan salary. I've spoken to the journalist - Mercedes Torrecillas (she knows Torres- Ramos agent- well and works the daily press brief in Seville) and She has given me her word that Torres insists on that he was not expecting an offer just a chat.

Further, he tells her that Spurs have given Ramos until the end of the week to decide. The size of the offer has left Ramos tempted - but at the moment he is leaning toward staying in Seville - although he will see how the news of Spurs' offer plays with Del Nido.

I know the above is all a bit Tom Clancy but that is how it works. I don't do ITK know shite and nothing in the above will not surface as copy over the next 24hrs ( In Spain anyway) - I've just sought confirmation frm some of the characters involved - that is all. They are journalists and football agents so we are just an estate agent short of the axis of evil. Take it or leave it - its just what is being said in Spain.

For what its worth, with regard to Ramos - he is a fine coach who has won trophy's in one of the best leagues in the world and taken some impressive scalps. His footballing philosophy would put a smile on old Sir Bills face - score one more than the opposition and then score another one just to be sure, the best form of defence is to attack, attack, attack. He accepts nothing but sheer bloddy minded grit and determination to go with it and like Sir Bill is not averse to giving out a rollicking after a 3-0 win.

There is a proviso - he owes a lot of his success to his sporting director at Sevilla - Monchi- and it is hard to gauge how effective Ramos would be without him - he supplies Ramos with some fine players on a budget that makes Bolton look like Chelsea. Further, prior to Seviilla, Ramos past is somewhat chequered and he has not always been so succesful, there are a couple of blemishes here and there.

There's meant to be a board meeting this evening, with some saying Jol will be out of a job by 11pm. Whilst other rumours suggest he has '2 weeks'. Its all pretty much guess work from everyone - fans and media alike.

We won't know until the club or Martin Jol says something, but the fact nothing has been said all day today would suggest that once more, its all gone pear-shaped.

Welcome to Tottenham Hotspur.

Twisted Conspiracy Theory

Berbs was never injured. There was a dis-agreement over squad rotation between him and Jol. The politics that Mido touched upon concerned how in one camp sits Levy and Comolli and the other Jol, on his own.

Berbs is sent off on a 'holiday', with the cover story of an injury while Levy cleans up the 'mess'. Stories break in the press, leaked by Levy. Berbs agent denies any truth in them, keeping Berbatov 'innocent' while Levy makes his final preparations to oust Jol.

-

It's such an easy life being a journalist. Conjuring plot twists as easy as a magician pulling rabbits out of a hat.

Latest News from the Hellmouth

Its a day of madness in Spurs forums everywhere.

I've written this season off. Just don't understand how the club persist in dislodging any form of consistency. Fact of the matter is, if they keep having to change managers - they are obviously not appointing the right ones. Though on this occasion - they did get it right. Or so the fans thought.

This is why Spurs will never make it under the current dictatorship, IMO. Too much tinkering.

All Levy can do is prove me wrong. But until then, I don't approve of any of this shit. Of course, who knows the real truth behind all this? But I'm willing to bet its 2 or 3 people inside the club who don't like Jol (fickle fickle fans with power) who have done enough to push him out to get their own way.

They finally get the right man for the job, and they push him out.

And now the Beeb are reporting the following:

Tottenham striker Dimitar Berbatov has not fallen out with boss Martin Jol, according to the player's agent.

Reports on Tuesday suggested Jol wanted to sell Berbatov, who had reacted angrily after being substituted during Spurs' 1-0 defeat at Sunderland.

"One thing I can tell you for sure is that there is not a problem between Martin Jol and Dimitar," Emil Dantchev told BBC Sport.

"They have discussed the football situation but that is normal."

Come on Levy, your turn to come out and say there's no problems between you and Jol. That's not going to happen though, is it? Because the Berbatov/Jol story was leaked as mis-information from inside the club to the newspapers for the sole purpose of adding weight to removing Martin as the manager.

Sickened.

Its all over

One day after the 'Berbs on Bulgarian tv' story was posted in Spurs message boards, the tabloids and broadsheets are running a story about a bust-up between Jol and Berbatov stating that the Bulgarian doesn't want to be involved in a rotation system and that Jol wants to sell him because of his attitude.

You couldn't make this stuff up. How very convenient for this story to appear days after a 4-0 win with the Park Lane singing Martin Jol's name.

Would appear that Levy and the board of directors are getting desperate to make their changes. Martin Jol is a dead man walking.

No official statement from the club to counter or dismiss any of these tabloid/tv/broadsheet rumours. Not a single word. Just relentless propaganda from Levy's war machine. Martin Jol may not even be manager by the end of this week.

What is it about this club that it persistently attempts to commit suicide? What's wrong with consistency? What's wrong with not rocking the boat?

Staggers belief. Oh hold up, of course it doesn't. This is normal service running at the Lane. And with news we have bid for Riquelme - you know that Levy is doing his utmost to weather the storm of disapproval from the Tottenham faithful.

The Two-Face Perspective

Issue #2
Forever Fickle

"Jol Out! Jol In!"

Two-Face: His tenure is over. He is tactically inept, makes dubious selection and substitutions and will not take Spurs to the next level. The players are simply failing to respond to his motivational skills, which he must lack in abundance. The fans are turning against him, they demand change.

Harvey Dent: Demand? Spurs fans are knee-jerking. All the anticipation and hype through-out the summer leading up to the new season has obviously taken them from the very highs of hope down to the doldrums of despair. It’s a classic football fan reaction where the impatience can only be dulled by a change so big it shadows the pain of the two defeats that have caused all this upheaval. And let me just emphasis how scandalously stupid this scenario is. Two defeats. 180 minutes.

Two-Face: Yes, but two defeats in games where they should have won or at least performed with some form of organisation and spirit displaying positive form. They were crap, plain and simple. And how is that acceptable with the money spent by the club? They can’t always be seen as a club that’s ‘almost there’. He’s had a couple of seasons and plenty of re-structuring with new players to get it right, to gel it together. Spurs, to get to the next level, have to start winning the games that a club that’s expected to push for 4th should win. Sunderland away (and with no dis-respect meant) Everton at home. Should be six points in the bag.

Harvey Dent: They didn’t start too well last season. They looked poor against Bolton. And ironically lost to Everton at the Lane. Still finished 5th.

Two-Face: That’s my point. Go back two seasons when sitting in 4th for so long you’d think they would cancel out all the niggling negative points that held them from cementing that position weeks before the final game of that season. Last year, they limped into 5th spot. Is it acceptable for them to do the same thing this year?

Harvey Dent: What? You think they are strong enough to bully themselves into 4th?

Two-Face: They should be seen to be trying to do just that. That’s tactically and with fight and guts. Two games, and they’ve shown their fans nothing to suggest they will.

Harvey Dent: It’s all circumstantial. Seven or so defenders out injured.

Two-Face: Jol should have a contingency plan. He should have looked at his squad in the summer and considered all possibilities.

Harvey Dent: What are you going on about? Spurs, if all fit, have plenty of cover in defence. You cant account for what’s happened. Its just sheer back luck, the luck of which Spurs have not seen for a while with injuries.

Two-Face: Maybe, but you can’t say the same thing about the midfield. No true defensive midfielder with leadership qualities and no creative midfielder either. And Jol has the option of playing the likes of Taarabt but doesn’t do so.

Harvey Dent: Oh right, Taarabt. I knew you would bring his name into this. He is 18 years old with little Premiership experience.

Two-Face: He had a great pre-season. If he is good enough, which Jol claims he is, then he should play. What’s the point otherwise? Did Wenger bottle playing Cesc when he was sixteen years old?

Harvey Dent: You think he’s not playing him because of his age or inexperience? He’s not playing him because he doesn’t want the poor kid to be utterly demoralised if things don’t go well. It’s easier for a player to settle into a side that’s winning and comfortable, and not in the midst of a ‘crisis’. And I use that word loosely, because the only crisis is in the heads of the newspapers and the Spurs fans. Taarabt will get abused like a crackwhore who’s not shared her earnings with her pimp. Look at the way the home faithful terrorised Carrick and more so Jenas. Ghaly too. They expect the moon on a stick.

Two-Face: Why shouldn’t they? The money spent and the players bought, Spurs should be up there and should have a look about them that screams top 4/5. Instead, they look the same as they always have. Soft, naïve and clumsy and nowhere near being true top 4 material.

Harvey Dent: Now hold on a second. Yes, they have spent a ton of money and yes they have flirted with the potential of taking it to the next level but Spurs fans and the media are guilty of being a tad delusional here. It’s a huge huge step to take.

Two-Face: Yes it is, but they are stuck half way. They should keep on moving upwards but they have a bade case of the vertigo. They have fallen down. On their arse.

Harvey Dent: Actually, they’ve just taken a trip. Embarrasing, but recoverable. And as for vertigo, it’s more like amnesia for their supporters. Spurs have not won the title for over 40 years. They have never been a true league club in the sense of consistent title-challenges. Yes, the have a rich history of style and have arguably had some of the best players to grace the land over the years but they have under-achieved. And have always done so. Yeah, they’ve had top 3 placements in the past, but not consistently. And the past decade or so they have been mediocre. One transitional period has followed another. And there was never any real hope at any point. Spurs have been the perpetual wannabes for decades now. Fans wanting to see silveware to compensate for the fact that their fancy football has resulted in very little in recent years. They've never looked like making it. Not until Jol took the helm. Are you trying to suggest that 180 minutes of football out weighs the work he has done before that? Or have you forgotten about Pleat, Gross, Francis, Graham, Hoddle and Santini? How is it that one moment he can do no wrong and the next he should go? He's only been in charge for two years. Do you honestly think he can out-wit and out-do the work done by Wenger and Liverpool and knock'em out of the top 4 in his third season of asking?

Two-Face: I’m not disputing what he has achieved. He has actually made Spurs a decent and serious proposition over the past two seasons. But it’s quite possible that Martin Jol hasn’t got what it takes to finish the job. See, in the past Spurs have sacked managers because they were not good enough to make Spurs into a good team with sustained potential. The club made the wrong managerial appointments and paid the price. This time they won’t be getting rid of Jol because he has failed in what he set out to do, they will be getting rid of him because he hasn’t got the skills to make Spurs a nailed on all guns blazing Top 4 side. Another manager, with the right creditionals could take the current squad and really push Arsenal and Liverpool. 'Really' push them.

Harvey Dent: Not with the lack of defensive cover. But this is based on two defeats at the start of this season? If the Sunderland game had finished 0-0 then we would not be having this discussion. It’s all been exaggerated tenfold. Remember Santini? Remember the six defeats on the spin? Jol was in charge for some of those games.

Two-Face: That’s different. Spurs got rid of Santini and promoted Jol. You can't compare that with what's happening now.

Harvey Dent: With lesser players he sorted out that little crisis of confidence and they haven’t looked back since. Jol can’t be pushed out of the club after 2 seasons and a bit. It’s ludicrous.

Two-Face: People keep on harping on about how managers need time, but let’s say he stays in and by Christmas Spurs are 20 or so points behind 5th place. Then what? Season 2008 will be written off. We might win a cup. But ‘Might’ isn’t a strong enough guarantee, because every other club probably believes they might win a cup. No UEFA Cup football next year would be a disaster as Spurs have reached one level, they can not go back down one. If they keep him and things don’t improve then the damage has been done.

Harvey Dent: So, let Spurs get rid of the best manager they’ve had for over ten years because of two games. And don’t interrupt me on this. It’s these two games that’s got us talking about this and it’s the two games that has got fans turning against him and knee-jerking and making themselves look like hypocrites, all fickle and twisted. Along with the medias usual tripe suddenly we have rumours of board unrest and Jol and Levy not getting on. One month back fans were praising Levy and praising Jol, and yet suddenly everyone knows someone who knows something about the 'Troubles at Tottenham'. Ramos is being lined up. Jol is already gone say others, claiming that after the Derby game he will leave the club. It’s comical. Everyone should just calm the fuck down. Spurs dont have the right to claim they are owed European football. They have to fight for that right. They have to prove their worth. Its not going to knock on their door just because their fans think they deserve it. Jol has a job to finish.

Two-Face: He doesn't know how to finish it.

Harvey Dent: Yes well if Fergie had been sacked when the fans wanted him sacked the history of Manchester United would be a lot different now. And it took him a good four years to get things going. And look at them now. How can Spurs demand success sooner than when Utd got it?

Two-Face: Not this old chestnut again. Look, Spurs might look back to the opening couple of games of the season with regret if they miss out on 4th by a few points. That’s the difference between a decent side and a top side.

Harvey Dent: Hindsight, wonderful way to argue your point. If Spurs beat Derby comprehensively, you’ll have most of the fans that have bitched and complained being a little calmer and more logical about the situation. If they do well at Old Trafford, a draw maybe, then suddenly Jol will be getting credit for a job well done and then you’ll look back to the present and compare the states of the supporters mind and wonder how they can go from one emotional extreme to another in such a short space of time. Football is guilty of over-reaction far too often.

Two-Face: Sometimes. But sometimes its justified. The Hoddle Clock is ticking. And the Spurs fans are winding it up.

Harvey Dent: Spurs have to stick this one out.

Two-Face: We shall see.

Harvey Dent: I’m sure we will.

Two-Face: Home win?

Harvey Dent: Yes. Home win.

Two-Face: (Flips a coin) See you on the other side.

More next week....

Unrest!

Quote from today's tabloids:

“There was a good sign in the dressing room because they were all blaming each other. The most important thing is that we pick ourselves up because it is a long, tough season.”

That's Martin Jol telling us that there was some spirit in the dressing room. Wrong place chief. It's out on that beautiful green grass where you're meant to have some passion, not after the game has ended and you're all in the showers slapping each others bums apologetically.

He goes on to add this gem:

Jol added: “We had a bad start last season and we lost to Bolton on the opening day but we picked ourselves up and that is what we have got to do again now. We have got to do better in midfield, up front and from the flanks as well.

So, let me get this right. We lost because we were shit in midfield, up front and on the wings? Daaaaamn. That's some insightful analysis right there for you. Basically, we have to improve in all positions. I would never have guessed that. I was gonna suggest we take performance enhancing drugs, but hey, better the devil you know. Looks like another hard days training is due. Though how hard, I don't know. Not that hard according to athlete and Spurs reserve player Ghaly.

The Jol Verdict

From the official site:

There was no hiding Martin Jol's disappointment after our openng day defeat at Sunderland.

Michael Chopra pounced to score the only goal of the game in injury time at the Stadium of Light.

Chances were few and far between - Paul Robinson made the only two saves of note before Chopra won it for the home side.

Apart from an impressive debut from Younes Kaboul in central defence, Martin had little to smile about.

"We didn't play well and didn't create as many chaces as I would have liked," reflected a downcast Martin at the Stadium of Light. "Even a 0-0 draw would have been disappointing.

"When you don't play well a 0-0 draw is still a 0-0 draw and we have to learn how to protect that. We didn't and I could come up with excuses, but I won't.

"We had players out but we were still strong enough. It was the first match and we were determined to do well but it didn't happen."

Martin revealed that Michael Dawson sprained his ankle in training on Friday, forcing him out of the squad and a late reshuffle with Anthony Gardner coming in to partner Kaboul.

"I thought Anthony did a good job as did Kaboul, who had a very good debut for us, but that's not enough," added Martin.

"We needed more urgency because if you score in the first half you create pressure, but we didn't do that and made it difficult for ourselves. If we don't score, it's always a possibility that the other team will score and that's what happened."

I wonder how good we would be if Jose was the manager. As for the above, it's more of the 'feeling sorry for ourselves' BS, that littered last season. Still no belief I'm afraid.

How does one be 'determined to do well' yet fail miserably? Obviously not determined enough.

And as for this gem:

"We needed more urgency because if you score in the first half you create pressure, but we didn't do that and made it difficult for ourselves. If we don't score, it's always a possibility that the other team will score and that's what happened."

...it doesn't need a footnote really, does it?

My season ticket has arrived, so I'll be present at the home game. I can only hope its not a re-run of last seasons home defeat against Everton. If so, I'll offer Martin a seat in the taxi home.

Jol'll Fix It

Going back to the end of last season, in the following blog entry I noted the following:

These defects are still present in the team that Martin Jol built and financed by Daniel Levy. Its like having a house with several holes in the roof that water drips down from. Instead of fixing the holes, you leave several buckets to capture the falling water.

* We can not defend crosses or set pieces
* We give away painfully simplistic goals, usually created out of individual errors
* We cannot take set pieces (corners or free kicks)
* We cannot cross the ball (still no true left winger three years later)
* We cannot keep clean sheets
* We still don't have the right balance in midfield
* We sit back instead of dominating possession

All of these are fixable at a management level, so this is Jol's main priorties. Taking set pieces should not be a problem at all this season with Bale in the squad and Kaboul having quite a hit on him. The lack of a true winger who can swing the balls in from both angles (Lennon isnt quite there yet and Routledge never will be) is vital unless the style of play Jol has in mind doesn't involve out-and-out wing play. Anyone can see that if you add a MGP style player into the team then we would score 15/20 more goals per season. Thats a massive difference to the goal difference.

At the other end, the conceding of the simplistic goals was down to the back four changing all the time. No King means more concerns, but again - with the whole of the summer at his peril, if Kaboul is the only player we need at the back, then fair enough. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and see how it all pans out.

Replace 'Jim' with 'Jol' for visual gag to work

The defence needs to be organised to form a unit that knows each of their individual responsibilities and their collective responsibilities. That's what training should help formulate. Again, regardless of the players (does help to have quality) having the right instructions during pre-season and week to week training is where the foundations are built.

Clean sheets is up to the defence and up to Paul Robinson to trim down and stop getting beat from 30-40 yards out. But there's more to it. If we get over-run in midfield then its likely to cause more stress and pressure for the back four.

Will Boateng (offensive, yet apparently decent defensively too) play a part as the Man of Steel that we are crying out for?

All the top clubs have their bullish strong central midfielder that does the dirty work. We had Carrick, who was more Hoddle than he was Keane. Zokora is still a grey area. What kind of player will he be for us this season? He was bought in as the Carrick replacement of sorts - so no point in writing him off until the end of season 2008.

One thing is for sure. If Spurs can dominate teams for prolonged periods (at home) why do we struggle to get hold of the ball just after we take the lead? Its the main fix IMO.

Be ruthless, swagger with effect and bully the opposition. At 0-0, at 1-0, and at 2-0 and so on.

Its the mental block that also costs us when we lead against the top 4. Its lack of self belief.

Again, no new players will sort this out. The manager must.

Over to you big bear....

There's only one Daniel Levy

Like fuck there is.

So ends the 2007 season. Martin Jol 'just' about avoids the sack with us nicking 5th spot. And he proceeds to thank his chairman by taking the mic at the end of the game and saluting the board for their continued unquestionable investment into the club. Technically, I suppose Martin is correct in doing so. £3 for a mobile phone ring-tone of the Park Lane or the Shelf Side singing is certainly a shrewd way of taking money off the fans to 'invest', along with the additional 'investments' they are pulling in via the increased season ticket prices (if you want to have the crowd singing as your ring-tone, record it on your mobile yourself for fucks sake).

Jol also arse-kissed the home fans by telling us we are the best in the country. We fucking know that already Martin. Jesus. We are so loud that when we're away the home team play white noise out of their tannoy system to drown out the Glory Glory Hallelujah's.

Anyway, I'll get back to Jol's thank you speech later. Lets take this from the top.

Home game, last of the season, against Manchester City. Going into this we could have quite easily dropped out of a UEFA Cup spot and into the Inter-Toto, depending also on other results going against us. As usual, Spurs were playing chicken with humiliation. Now you may think me harsh. A win at home today and we would claim 5th spot for the second successive season (as long as Everton failed to win at Chelsea). Would be the first time since 1990 that we would sit in a top 6 placing for a second consecutive year.

All looks good on paper doesn't it? But then, whoever heard of a trophy cabinet with a piece of A4 sitting in it?

I decided to attend the final game of the season with my traditional utility belt consisting of:

• Season Ticket 2007
• A box of matches
• Plastic bag to retain the ashes in (for potential ash-throwing later on)
• Leaflets proclaiming Levy as the anti-christ

I also attended the game in battle clothing. WTF, I hear you ask?

Well firstly, I decided against dressing up as the Anti-Chirpy this season, due to the incident in last years final home game when the real Chirpy squared up to me in Block 34 and we ended up having cock-on-cock action. It's difficult to throw punches dressed as a cartoon cockerel. Even more difficult is to know for sure whether your uppercuts are truly doing any damage due to the cushioned head-mask giving added protection. Suffice to say, I set fire to his face. Ah yes, fond memories of last year. They had to re-design him after that incident. Anyways, that was then. This is the present and today I went dressed as Sir Henry Percy aka Harry Hotspur, 1st Earl of Northumberland. Very apt if you ask me.

Reconstruction: How I looked dressed like Harry Hotspur

From head to toe, I looked the part. Even grew a beard for the occasion. However, due to sporting actual metallic plate armour (none of this fancy dress plastic rubbish - I have a friend who works in theatre) I was advised by the stewards that I would not be permitted to enter the stadium. I quite obviously stood my ground, finding strength from the fact that Henry was a true warrior. In fact, I sometimes wonder if maybe I am the reincarnation of him, which may explain my stupendous resolve and passion in times of hardship.

After a heated debate and the arrival of two police officers outside the South Stand lower entrance, I was politely informed not to continue my protest if I wished to attend the game. Or I'd be spending more than 90 minutes in the back of a police van. Fascism at its very worse. I had to remove the armour. This was not something I had planned for. I had no alternative clothing with me. And there was no chance of parting with my hard earned cash in the extortionate Spurs Shop.

I now knew how Henry did when he took his visor off during the Battle of Shrewsbury and was hit in the mouth with an arrow, instantly killing him. I had to suffer a similar indignity, as I too was lost for words.

Under the armour, I was actually not wearing much. I was wearing nothing in fact. There's something about the cold metal and the way it felt against my skin that made me decide to go commando. That and the fact that its bloody hot having to wear it and travel on the London Underground without being able to sit down. But the whole experience really helped me to connect with how Henry Percy might have felt when he was about to go into battle. I'm sure they didn't have boxer shorts back in those days any ways, so I felt quite authentic.

So, having removed the armour, I used my scarf as a make-shift nappy to hide my pride and joy. I'm going to take a guess and say the wolf whistles I got were ironic. And for the record, I do not and have never liked Barrymore and at no point in my life handed out sweets.

Anyway, half naked or not, I wasn't about to allow this little setback ruin my day. I took my place in my seat and watched the game with my fellow Spurs fans.

We played woefully bad again much like the Blackburn game on Thursday. Yes, we won. And yes we claimed 5th spot. But this is simply not good enough. I can only say that we must have the same kind of luck West Ham have, but simply opposite sides of the table. In other words, we are just lucky. Evidence supporting this:

• We can not defend crosses or set pieces
• We give away painfully simplistic goals, usually created out of individual errors
• We cannot take set pieces (corners or free kicks)
• We cannot cross the ball (still no true left winger three years later)
• We cannot keep clean sheets
• We still don't have the right balance in midfield
• We sit back instead of dominating possession

These defects are still present in the team that Martin Jol built and financed by Daniel Levy. Its like having a house with several holes in the roof that water drips down from. Instead of fixing the holes, you leave several buckets to capture the falling water.

Reconstruction: How I looked without the armour

We are 5th - when we should be 3rd. No excuses. Martin Jol's tactics and Levy and Comolli strategics have failed again. 20 more games this season than last, but its not like we played anyone decent in our cup matches (domestically and in Europe) until we played the teams that knocked us out.

Still no wins against the big 4 either in the Prem (or the Cups) and in any of the crunch games apart from the 2-1 win at WHL against Chelsea. But as that was the only victory, I'll put that down as a fluke.

If you take 3 games from the season that we could have won if it wasn't for individual or tactical mishaps, we could easily be neck and neck with 4th and 3rd. I'm getting side-tracked. More on the season in my season review which I'll write up in the next week or so.

Back to today. The game matched the weather (it was depressing). I tried several times to start up anti-Levy chants, only to be drowned out by 'England's Number One'. Yes, the immovable object still gets a chorus or ten every game, which I'm sure he celebrates by having a half-time pie.

As my nipples hardened in the cold weather and with the final whistle being blown, I then had to endure more cringe-worthy embarrassment. And for anyone in Block 34, I am not referring to the incident when my scarf came loose due to experiencing an 'unnecessary' and poked the young lady who sits in front of me in the back of her head (thankfully, she thought it was my match-day programme).

I am of course referring to the end of the game 'celebrations' which included various 'Player of the Year' awards and Martin Jol being handed a microphone. Now, initially, I half expected him to do an impersonation of Dean Martin if Dean Martin was alive, sober, Dutch and had no jokes. But it turned out to be a mish-mash of Winston Churchill rallying the troops and a Gordon Brown speech.

Jol is no MC

Several bursts of sound bites followed by rapturous supporter applause and chanting. It turned into a farce the moment he gave credit to the board of directors. I found myself utterly ashamed as a chorus of 'There's only one Daniel Levy' erupted from a section of the Park Lane. These fools must have been pissed on cheap cider - but the more likely explanation is that they are members of the Agents of Levy, a clandestine group of paid actors Levy has infiltrating the stands to make sure the right type of 'noises' are heard during the game.

Its like the CIA in South American all over again.

All the fanfare hides another disappointing season without silverware. Eight points adrift off 3rd place and still persisting in starting Anthony 'One more year till his testimonial' Gardner.

Gardner is a paradox. A man that should never have been a professional footballer, yet finds himself playing in the Premiership and earning thousands. Constantly proves he should drop down a division with his Harold Lloyd performances, yet consistently wears our colours as a utility player. Maybe Jol is waiting for Sam Beckett to quantum leap into Anthony and turn him into a hero. Newsflash Jol; Sam Beckett is played by an actor (Scott Bakula) and Quantum Leap is a fictional sci-fi television series. Its never going to happen. Anthony Gardner will never have Al and Ziggy to help him out with his back passes and composure.

After Jol's stand-up routine (he could have shat in a hat and still got worshipped by the home faithful) I proceeded with my traditional burning of my season ticket. Sadly, due to the enforced policing and general fascist state ethos the club aspires too I had to burn the season ticket in the mens toilets. This did not have the desired effect I wished for, as people kept asking me if I could share my spliff with them.

It would appear that Levy had the last laugh today. The sun, breaking out from behind the grey miserable clouds blinded everyone from the factual truth that we are once more 'nearly' there. I find myself dead, exhumed and cut up into four quarters - each part buried in each corner of the White Hart Lane pitch. All that's missing is my head stuck on a pole at the gates of the West Stand.

It's going to be long long summer. But don't think that the battle is over. I will haunt Levy like the ghost of Henry Percy. I mean literally. I plan to break into his house tonight and walk around with a white bed sheet over my head.