Some WAGS just ooze class

Click on this link. That's Danielle Lloyd laying on the floor, battered and bloody, having been hurled backwards into a glass table at a night club by a couple of female clubbers who were busy dancing on the back of a VIP sofa. She was left needing emergency plastic surgery. Jamie was left needing a lobotomy for going out with her in the first place.

£9K a week and the best he can do is a West End night club where the bouncers can't even stop a catfight. Lloyd is a magnet for trouble who seems to jump from one footballer to the next as often as Joey Barton picks up litter.

I still would.

Lloyd that is. Not Barton. That would be hideous.

Spurs Soccer Wednesday – midweek round-up

The aftermath of a West Ham game is always (usually) a joy. If I applied myself I could probably write up a dissertation on the complexities of opposing football fan rivalry. Especially the one that exists between Spurs and the Hammers. We claim the game is their Cup final and that they are obsessed with us. They claim that we are so self-important that we believe in the misconception that we think they are obsessed with us. I’m not going to go down this road again as it’s long been drowned in a sea of stereotypes. But will note it’s nice to listen to all their excuses including the gem about not having the luxury of removing a £16M forward and replacing him with a £14M international. Shame on us.

Talking of widely expensive players, remember David Bentley? Scored a brace for the reserves against Arsenal the other night. Perhaps we need to replace goals with skips for when he runs out for the first team?

As for goals, Pavlychenko has had to wait patiently for an opportunity in recent games, coming off the bench to score the winner against the Irons. Fighting talk from the Russian (in Russian) about self belief and getting himself back into the fold. Pav’s interpreter still apparently runs up and down the sidelines barking out translations. Harry, not missing a trick, told the press he (the interpreter) even scored a goal in training. That Redknapp cracks me up. I know if an English player moved to Russia he’d perhaps struggle to learn Russian, but no doubt he’d muddle through thanks to the fact that English is used so widely the world over. If he still can’t speak it at the start of next season, or at least speak enough to get him by, then sympathy will be non-existent from me. Pav, Keane, Defoe with an additional ‘young player’ as the 4th option (with Bent sold) will do the trick. But I get this nagging feeling that if Sunderland go down, Jones will sign which means Pav will be moved on. Just a feeling. Can't see Harry 'not tinkering' here and there.

One player going nowhere is Aaron Lennon. Congratulations to the lad for being nominated for PFA Young Player of the Year. He’s up against Agbonglahor, Evans, Ireland, Rafael and Young. Has a decent chance IMO, but reckon Young or Ireland will get the nod. Aaron and Spurs are at the same cross-road they found themselves at a couple of years back. Not quite a flat tire this time round, just stalled. Harry has talked about the stagnation of Lennon’s progress and that previous coaches have failed to develop him. He's taking the credit for it but improving end product has to be the continuing priority along with some additional smarts, like telling him to run into midfield and attack centrally when he finds himself isolated or trapped out on the wing. There is still plenty of work to be done. I’m not concerned too much by his drop of form. It’s been a long season and he’s been fairly consistent. He’s bound to tire out at some point.

Next.

Two points, eight games.

Cough.

Huddlestone has been linked to a move away from the club. Again. I touched on this in the match report for the West Ham game. Prior to that game Harry was telling everyone that Tom is a decent player and blah blah blah. Tom then starts the game and after the victory dust settles we are treated to countless reports that Tom ‘might need to look elsewhere for first team football’. An almost perfectly orchestrated transfer shop window advert. Fulham was one club I heard linked in the midst of the tabloid tatter. Probably wouldn’t be that bad of a move for him. He needs a club that will accommodate his strengths and compensate for his weakness. In other words, build a team around him. He needs to be loved.

Which brings me onto Jamie O’Hara. Jamie, Jamie, Jaime. Tut tut tut. Is he the 5th or 6th professional footballer that Danielle Lloyd has now bagged? Is there a shortage of women in the capital? Do footballers always opt for high maintance reality tv celebs for girlfriends because nice ordinary girls next door simply wouldn’t venture out to Faces or China White? Defoe has already been there. I guess Lloyd’s pocket-money from O’Hara won’t be as substantial as what JD could offer but she’s keeping it in the family, so no need to fret where the next Gucci shopping trip will come from. I’m guessing the cash she gets from posing for Nuts Magazine only covers the Jimmy Choo bill.

That’s it for the moment. Thanks for your patience, the blog has gone through some transformations over the Easter weekend. Apparently some of you prefer the old blue background and white text over the all white background. I reckon you’ll get use to it. I will however play around with the colours and see if a blue background works just as well on this template as it did on the previous host.

Ta.

Jamie, Adel and John: The Lilywhites on the outside looking in

Deconstructing the Tottenham midfield conundrum - Part V

The Outsiders

Palacios. Modric. Jenas. Zokora. Huddlestone. Taarabt. O’Hara. Seven players. One massive conundrum. At least, that’s how it all started out back in Part I of this series. I’ve not touched on the worth of Adel and Jamie just yet (will do in a sec), but arguably thus far, only Palacios and Modric….and at a push (one that has Spurs fans split) Jenas are forming the basis of the new-look Spurs midfield. More on this in Part VI (the concluding article). Decided to extend this series by one rather than fit it all in this blog entry.

So for now, the backups.

Jamie O’Hara. Adel Taarabt. And John Bostock (which makes it eight in total, but whoever heard of the Magnificent Eight?). All three players sit in very different categories with regards to first team selection.

O’Hara is a first team player, if not a first choice player.

Bostock is a youth player and looks a real talent, but won’t arrive in the first team for another season or two. Depends on how his development progresses and whether Harry opts for yoof in the Carling Cup games next season. Reality is - he's not a backup player to the first team. Not yet. But One for the Future©.

Taarabt is an enigma. In the sense that some rate him others don’t. Clever feet, clever brain, not so clever decision making – but that’s not a negative. It's a learning curve. Going on loan to Q.P.R. is the best thing for him at the moment. Starting games is vital, and that’s something that was not happening for him at Spurs. It’s one thing show-boating in the reserves, another performing in the Championship. A competitive hard-working league is the best place for him to adapt his silky skills into a more realistic environment, so his understanding of when the basics are more important than the flicks gets programmed into his creative head.

Time for a closer look at the thrilling threesome...

O’Hara, an ex-Arsenal youth player, but one who would wear a Lilywhite shirt under the red and white of the South London club when playing for their youth team before making the short journey across their swamps to the bright lights of White Hart Lane. There is absolutely no doubting Jamie’s passion for the club. He’s a fan. If I was Premiership class (I'd play behind the front-two in a free-role creative play-making capacity...obviously) and you stuck me in the Spurs team, you’d love my intensity and spirit and commitment. I’d give it 110% and some. Jamie has that level of urgency in his play. What he doesn’t have is the polished all-round abilities to match his heart, that would surely make him a first-choice regular.

"Did ya just pinch me bum?"

If you take a look at successful sides, most of the players never supported or support the team they are representing. It’s not a necessity. It would be nice to have that (love for the club) in every single one of our players – if we did, we’d have accumulated more than 2 points from the opening 8 games. But players should have instilled in them the right amount of graft as a given. They are professionals on a ton of money, they should never get anything less than 100%.

Fantasty football, yeah?

Jamie would probably give 110% no matter the club he played for because that’s him. He gets himself about a bit on the pitch, flying tackles and the like. He’s high tempo. But is he high class? Nope. We love him because....well, because he loves Spurs. But he’ll only ever be a decent squad player – a backup. Someone to come on in the final 20 minutes or perhaps start a Cup match to lower league opposition. I’m not sure he’ll progress any further. Hope I’m wrong. So I’m not stating anything amazingly insightful here. Possessing intensity, spirit and commitment is great, but doesn't account for much if you don't excel in other areas of your game.

Taarabt is Marmite. You love him or ....you know, but why anyone would hate him is beyond me. Have we become so impatient? Isn't Adel the quintessential Tottenham player? Ok, so he plays like a flash thirteen year old in a playground, ball stuck to his feet, trying to dribble it past everyone twice. If Adel was around when we sat up in 4th spot in that giddy season, he’d have made an impact. Much like he did against Utd earlier this season when Modric oh so nearly scored. It was Adel who started the move with those clever little feet.

'Potentially' World class....right?

But in other cameos he has frustrated the home support or just made us laugh out loud with his audacity and his naivety. But he doesn’t lack ability. Or self-belief. He has it in abundance. Storming performance for Morocco a month or so back on his debut. And not too shabby for Q.P.R. so far. He’s also stated he wants to return to Spurs and fight for a place. It’s difficult to know whether he will always just be the flash kid in the playground, a combination of Timothee Atouba (you’re perpetually worried he’s about to lose the ball) and Zidane (he thinks, we wish).

Next season, when back at Spurs, Harry should have him on the bench and start him when it’s safe to do so. He has to play games in the Prem for his raw potential to be tested, which means he should train with the first team squad and our coaches make sure that he matures and improves his decision making and composure. Shining at QPR will do him no harm at all.

The problem I have is that at other clubs, you see players touted as potentially world-class and they make their first team debuts early and shine and continue to do so - and prove they are on the road to possible greatness. We have had so many false dawns with much hyped players. And some are always stuck in limbo, never quite making it beyond the bench. If he is good enough, he should play. At the moment he isn't because of one or two immature traits. Iron them out, and we might just have a brilliant player on our hands. One that can change the game with a blink of an eye and a dink of the foot.

As for Bostock. It’s too early to make any assumptions – and to be honest, I’ve not seen enough of him. What I have seen, he’s been impressive and his UEFA Cup appearance (at the age of 16 years 295 days, the youngest ever Spurs player) this season showed that he was worth the battle with Palace to claim his signature. He's composed, refined and confident. An England U-17 captain and definitely not a player who will disappear into obscurity. He looks the part. Absolutely no need to rush him. Or is there?

To break into the first team at the age of 16/17 you have to be something extraordinary. Arsenal (Cesc) and Everton (Rooney) both stuck their young prodigy's into first team football early. For all the hype, we never do. Arguably you could state that Fabregas wasn't rushed. He was ready for it, such is the ability of the spitting Spaniard.

Show us your dance moves

Again, responsibility falls to Spurs, but in the academy and in Alex Inglethorpe – I have faith. Our youngsters have claimed a few tournament successes over the past year and have fared very well in the ones they haven’t won. We do - hype aside - have proven quality at this level. Yes, I know, that doesn't mean they will all make the grade. But we've been pretty starved of academy promotions in recent years (I know Bostock came from Palace, but you get where I'm coming from - remember Owen Price and Michael Malcolm?).

Like most kids, once they start to make reserve appearances and knock on the first team door – you can only hope Spurs are in a decent position in the league and strong enough to allow for the young one to make comfortable appearances in the Prem. Asking a young player to perform in a struggling side can be soul destroying (Bale, Gio). A blossoming team is safer ground for promotion. Which is why Bostock hasn't played a bigger part this season.

So.

O’Hara – Decent squad player, but not of a standard that would have Palacios sweating any time soon.
Taarabt – Young, ambitious, talented – but still naive and made up of raw potential. Has to play a part next season ‘at’ Spurs, off the bench and in the CC games.
Bostock – Ask again in one year, but we might see more of him in CC games next season (possibly along with Dean Parratt) – but still a few seasons off from first team football.

I know I’ve spoken about Huddlestone already back in Part III, but he deserves to be mentioned again. Last week he tapped himself up by suggesting he might need to look elsewhere for first team football. Newcastle were linked with him over the weekend in the tabloids (although why anyone would want to go there...) although that’s probably just a journo making stuff up just to fill the page.

Hudd performed well for the U-21’s – he usually does. He controlled the midfield in his usual nonchalant manner, which does get mistaken for looking a little on the lazy side. He played the ball well offensively and got stuck in defensively, winning a few tackles. And he scored and got to wear the captain’s armband for the second half. A confident all round performance then:

Huddlestone, and his accurate precise passing range, saviour of young England.

So why do we not rate him again? Oh yeah. He’s too slow.

Unless the entire midfield is built around him, and aids in compensating his lack of mobility – then maybe a transfer away is the only conclusion to this Tottenham midfield question. He has the technical ability but it’s not enough, and his weakness are too apparent for him to stand all on his own. Works in the U-21s. Might even work if he played his football abroad. But not over here where football is 1000mph. He needs protection.

So can he stand up and be a man? That's down to him. Not sure you can quite learn that on a training pitch.

Tom is a superb passer of the ball can hit a sweet volley. But whether it’s the lack of that much maligned mobility (of if you prefer to criticise him as being too casual with no fire in his belly and killer instinct) it’s apparent that he is lopsided when counting his positives and negatives. If you can’t move you get side-stepped. If you get side-stepped you become nothing more than a passenger. Compare him to other players of his ilk who start Prem games and you get to see the gulf in difference.

Personally, I don’t think Hudd is ‘too casual’. It's just a fallacy. He has an unflappable quality about him. Hoddle was always cited as being too casual, but what a player – not just with his passing or getting the tackles in (which he did more than people give him credit for) but his effort/application was unquestionable. That’s the crux of it with Tom. And it's why the question about 'standing up' to it is still left unanswered.

Whether you are casual or 110% in the way you play – you can get the same job done as long and the application is there. Is Huddlestone showing enough that suggests his effort can improve? It’s also a fallacy to suggest his build stops him from achieving acceptable lateral movement to keep him competitive in games. He shed a load of weight, he got himself into great shape. So unless he requires specific training for mobility – I can’t see what else he can do about it. If you don’t have the application, you’ll stagnate.

It's quite possible the problem is not in his gut, but in his head.

Huddlestone is at that cross-roads. I want him to be a success, but he’s nothing more than backup at the moment. And that might well result in him being someone else's conundrum next season.

In the concluding Part (VI) of this series - the (not so) Magnificent Seven become the Fabulous Four, led by a certain magical Croatian...

The Magnificent Seven - Part I

The Curious Case of Jermaine Jenas - Part II

The Incredible Huddlestone - Part III

Palacios answers the question: "Yes he can" - Part IV

The Magnificent Seven - Deconstructing the Tottenham midfield conundrum - Part I

Palacios. Modric. Jenas. Zokora. Huddlestone. Taarabt. O'Hara. Seven players. One massive conundrum, as puzzling to us in the same way a Rubik's Cube would be for a blind monkey. Why do we persistently struggle with the central midfield pairing and how do we go about resolving it? Signing Wilson Palacios might allow for some sustained consistency but who is best paired up with him? Where should Modric play - central or left-wing? Can Jenas ever offer us whatever it is he's meant to offer? Is Huddlestone too slow to command first team selection and have a team built (orbit) around him? Has Zokora found his true calling elsewhere in the starting line-up? And what of Jamie O'Hara and his big Lilywhite heart but limited abilities?

Where do we even begin to unearth the answers? Most of the questions might be redundant come the summer anyway as Harry chops and changes the team to his liking. But the fact remains we find ourselves in this current predicament and a working partnership still needs to be formulated in the centre of the park.

So let's go back in time a little bit to where it all began (to go wrong).

Part I - How do you solve a problem like Carrick ?

Ever since Michael Carrick moved onto pastures new and claimed a new founded personal annoyance of having to polish loads of silver around the house, we've gone back to the drawing board more times than Rolf Harris. And all we ever manage is a badly illustrated scribble of Mickey Mouse which looks more like a duck. Slightly roasted.

Why is it such a monumental task of impossibility for our little club in N17 to plug the gaping holes? There's no doubting our efforts to plug said holes. We throw money into them. In all the years we've been crying out for a true left-winger, we've done the same with our fabled dreams of a defensive midfielder. A 'most wanted' player to marshal the centre-park with authority and menace. We've never really managed to pick up either. Capable players have worn the Lilywhite shirt (Mendes) and others have struggled with injuries (Sean Davis). Whereas some have been below average (KPB) or far too erratic (Ghaly).

Carrick of course was never an out-and-out 'DM' himself when at the Lane. He does have some wonderful defensive capabilities. His knack of nicking the ball away before the need to tackle is something many of the overly passionate missed in his early Spurs days when it was simply easier (and incorrect) to bemoan his apparent lack of getting stuck in. Carrick would sweep up and orchestrate proceedings as he assisted the team to push forward with intent. His passing was (is) top drawer. He positively glowed with quality. Hence his departure to Manchester United and guaranteed winners medals.

Our sun had gone supernova and replaced by a black hole.

So who did we turn too in our hour of need? Carrick was spellbinding for us in his final season, which saw us famously lose 4th spot at the death. We got around £18M - £20M for him. He wanted to leave, he made no secret of the fact, and never lied about it or his ambitions. With Davids having added bite and experience to our midfield that season, we had what you might consider to be a backbone. A pretty decent one. It was no surprise to see us perform so well.

Throughout my life as a Spurs fan, the club (on the pitch) has been defined simply by the following:

- Flair players, with shirts tucked out
- Free flowing, beautiful football
- Loads of Cup silverware
- Bit of a soft touch (i.e. no backbone)

The spirit of a David Mackay or Graham Roberts has been missing from our starting line-ups far too many times over the past decade and a bit. We've much preferred to splash money out on what people (fans and the media) expect from us. Luxury players, who are only luxury because the rest of the team structure lacks the right amount of balance to accommodate them. Superfluous signings are quintessentially Tottenham when something far more basic and unsexy is the sometimes the answer.

Obviously, I'm exaggerating a little with that assessment. The likes of Ginola and Gascoigne are definitive Spurs players and I'm glad we saw them in a Spurs shirt. But there has been times when we've had players worthy of winning silverware but no backbone to support them. Which is why as a soft touch we never appear to do much in the sustained challenge that league football offers.

Considering we have an outstanding tradition in playing football (in the purest sense of how football should be played) and a ridiculous list of uber-talented players dating all the way back to the 1950's - you can probably ask yourself what if someone had built a Spurs side that combined the best of both worlds rather than always siding with the romantic notion of beautiful football?

It's easy for anyone to say 'what if' and then lay claim for the missing pieces of the jigsaw. We got away with the gaping holes until mediocrity reigned supreme and injections of a Ginola or Gazza were not enough to see us progress (other than Cup Final wins) so we stuttered through the mid-90's and into the new century badly lagging behind the Top 4.

The renaissance under Martin Jol was an indication that plugging in the right players means things can tick along splendidly. One player out of synch could result with the whole team being lopsided. And once that happens, it can so easily come apart.

So with Carrick gone, the replacement had to be one of two things. And this is just an opinion, as I'm sure some of you will have your own:

1) A direct replacement

Obviously, finding a Carrick clone was never going to happen. But drafting in a similar style of footballer (a good passer of the ball, good vision, good defensive qualities, steady, reliable and consistent) was an option. If one could be found. There wasn't it seems any available in the UK that fitted the bill, but that's going on the assumption that Comolli and Jol were looking for a player of the exact same ilk.

2) An out-and-out defensive midfielder

DM is arguably interpreted in many ways depending on personal opinion. Is a DM the same thing as a holding midfielder? Well yes, except you'll still hear people say that Carrick is a combination of both or more so the latter with one or two offensive weapons in his locker (ooh) too. Even though, fundamentally both have a duty to protect the defence and to help out the midfield and forwards. So a DM is the same as a holding midfielder. Right? It's just a different descriptive label for the same thing. Right? The reason I'm banging on about this is because of the amount of discussions/arguments I've heard debating the differences between certain players who play in the central midfield position that is not the attacking position (catchy). If you get a player who does more in said position than the next bloke, it's probably because he is simply a better footballer.

Much like House music is broken down into countless genres and sub-genres, the same could be applied for this much maligned midfield role. Carrick would fall into the Progressive House category. Plenty of peaks and layers, bringing them together to drive forward some good solid movement.

For the sake of this discussion and article, by out-and-out I'm simply referring to the Roy Keane stable of midfielders. Loads of bite, someone you can count on in a battle and (to retain an element of the Tottenham way without going off in the complete opposite direction - i.e. Robbie Savage) a player who can pass the ball. Offence is the best form of defence, right?

Zokora's movement is unsurpassed

Now this basis of the exact type of player required to fill the void will be the responsibility of manager and director of football. How do Spurs push on from here with minimum impact to the teams performance? Carrick is gone so do we want to continue playing the same type of system or do we have to adapt accordingly? It's the latter. Simply because every player is unique. Not trying to teach you to suck eggs with that particular understatement. No matter who or what you bring in as a replacement, the team balance will alter from 'ever so slightly' all the way down to 'Oh my God the humanity!' depending on the choice.

We don't have the obvious quality that Utd and Liverpool and Chelsea have in this 'DM' position. So when we lose a player like Carrick, its a serious issue. Arsenal have struggled this season with their obvious lack of depth in centre midfield. And going back to when Carrick departed, we had to make sure it was not detrimental to the teams progress.

Hmm. Yeah. I know.

So basically - the replacement would either be a 'conductor' who could still get forward and create something either with a pass or a dinking run as well as completing his holding role or a more traditional DM who would get stuck in, bite the ankles of opposing players and generally do all the dirty work and graft allowing the more skilful creative players the time, freedom and space to do their thing.

What Jol and Comolli did was sign Didier Zokora.

Zoko had performed with much acclaim during the African Nations cup. He looked good and at £8M, a steal. Here's someone who appeared to have an abundance of energy and authority. Could tackle and thus although not as subtle and clever as Carrick - still a player with some midfield clout. The one evident (and worrying aspect) was his passing. Or lack of. Add to it his lack of goals also. But many still saw this as a major coup.

So there was no direct replacement for Carrick in the strictest sense of the word. Didier and Michael might be grouped under the DM stable, but both are very different which meant the team would need to adapt and evolve into something a little bit different. But such was the importance and productivity of Carrick, Zokora was always doomed to fail.

If Didier Zokora was House music he'd be Minimal. Repetitive glitches and bleeps and some sporadic melodic moments now and again.

What we have at the present moment in time is a nifty little dancer who is infinitely better at right-back than in central midfield. I'm not blaming Zokora for the teams frailties. He was apparently (if you believe the press) courted by several 'big clubs' before accepting our offer. I spent the first season making excuses claiming 'he needs time to bed in'. He was no Carrick (who also took a little time to settle the nerves of the Spurs boo-boys) but he was also not the player many had watched and admired at international level. He was at times clumsy in his manner.

Zokora doesn't appear to excel at anything in particular when tasked with bossing the midfield area. Yes - he has put in some outstanding shifts in his time at WHL including a purple patch or two. And even recently he appeared to improve (possibly the arrival of Wilson played a part in that). But he can't pass the ball to save his life and his positional sense is poor and, well, he isn't the best tackler of the ball either. He simply doesn't dominate the midfield in any way that would help support the players around him. Now that might have a lot to do with the fact that Spurs always have a mish-mash of players that don't quite compliment each other. Bit like building something you see on Blue Peter with random items you'd usually just bin. Ends up looking snazzy, but at the end of the day it's just made up of rubbish.

And as Carrick famously stated, players at Spurs (during his time) didn't do their utmost to improve themselves by competing with team mates. So Zokora has never actually improved in any way since signing. Whether that's because he can't or because the Tottenham Disease is still evident, I don't know.

As mentioned earlier, it's not the fault of Zokora. And his effort can't be faulted when he is on the pitch. Great athlete. In a more disciplined position like right-back where his responsibilities are more defined, he has been a revelation. He can defend, work well with his team mates, and push forward with intent.

So why can't he do the same in midfield? Simply put? Didier has no footballing brain. The engine room of the team doesn't just need a grafter, it needs someone who can finely tune the nuts and bolts and unclog any parts that stop working. Zokora spends far too much time on a tea break. Sure, we love it when he just runs forward like an unstoppable locomotive. There are aspects of his play you almost admire and smile at. But its endearing and not exactly the foundation to build your midfield on.

Making things doubly difficult during this period of change was that as lauded as Carrick was for his holding play, he was far more than a guardian of our defence holding back the freedom for opposing players to run amok. He was also a deep-laying playmaker. By virtue of defending, he'd set our players off in the opposite direction. His Hoddlesque passing and quick thinking made us tick. When he left for Utd, we didn't just lose one player. We lost the man with two brains and gained a man with half of one.

What happened next? Not a lot.

Part II will follow in the next couple of days with a look at JJ's role in the Spurs midfield.