Shorts

Carlisle 0 Spurs 3

Spurs boss it and score three times from three attacks. Vertonghen with a header from a set-piece, a mazy run and shot from Townsend and another late headed goal by Sigurðsson. Then the final whistle went.

Match report brought to you by the highlights viewed on The League Cup show and Sky Sports News.

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Alan Pardew gets an 8 year contract at Newcastle (along with his staff)? Go on Alan, get yourself sacked this summer, run away to the Caribbean with the payout and stick ya feet up mate. Cocktails and sunshine. Please. Do it. Just go. Just do it. Don't even wait for the summer. Leave tomorrow. Now preferable. Forever.

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So if I was caught and punished at work for doing what John Terry did I'll get what? A months suspension from work and a couple hundred quid fine? The FA should make a point out of it. Ban him for 20 games. Then lets see who tries to 'banter' with opposing players like that again. Hold up, the FA got £220k out of this? That should sort out tea and biscuits at head quarters for a couple of weeks. Give it a couple of months and he'll make himself available for the National team again. Glory!

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The personified definition of frustration? The conspiracy theorist standing on a soap box on the corner of Hyde Park screaming obscenities about bickering between a teacher and a student. Nobody is listening.

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Director of football or technical director? Will only mean something tangible if its something more than what our 'general manager' Daniel Levy, is responsible for (i.e. last minute chaotic bids). New training centre + long term academy vision = new scouting system for the short and long term. Foundations for a genuine legacy? Oh yes. Call that prospective new appointment whatever you want, just get it done.

Pav the Disney villain as we wave goodbye to Mickey Mouse

I applaud you, you the faithful that travelled up to Stoke.

I spent yesterday evening recording episode nine of The Fighting Cock podcast. Was still 0-0 when I left North London to travel back into the depths of Epping Forest and had to make do with watching the penalty shout-out on Twitter. Struggling to understand how we lost if Pav scored two points for his conversion. To think I thought we played a fairly experienced side (in part) and yet no goals in 120 minutes of play?

Pens are always a lottery although more a formality for the opposition when up against us. I should be despondent with us getting knocked out so early (a cup run is a cup run after all and Wembley is still Wembley) but I guess I've finally being turned by Champions League qualification. It's the way she lifts her skirt up and reveals her panties. Gets me every time. I've been seduced and therefore do not feel anything other than numb frustration we couldn't score.

I guess Harry has validated his pre-match soundbiting that he never wanted to get rid of Crouch of Palacios. We would have won if we had them both #footielogic.

I'm told Gomes was 'alright' but along with Gio and Pav, almost disinterested in terms of tangible effort. Just players going through the motions. Not sure why people wish to slate him (Gomes) for not saving a single penalty. I know he's a shot-stopper, but pens are always down to how good the pen is when taken.

Roman has more or less cemented his Jan move away if you happened to listen to the commentary on the radio or worst still, been there to witness it - he was apparently shocking. Body language was oozing negativity and his play was abysmal. I guess the lad is still trying to settle in England and learn the language, bless. And perhaps people will finally let go of the dos Santos in good Spurs performance dream once and for all as he was equally poor.

Carroll played well. Beef him up a bit I reckon. He'll be some player when he finally reaches 12 years of age. Townsend also looked bright. Not sure what a Lluongo is exactly, but chin up lad and well done for having a go.

All this is the consensus by the way, not opinion. If anyone at the game disagrees, then please share.

Positives? Four clean sheets on the trot (DVD?). Sandro and Gallas are back playing and Rafa gets to push on towards full fitness (if that's even possible with him).

I guess its disappointing we're out but the yoof players still have Europa to accumulate those precious minutes of experience. In the end, patched up side of first teamers, benchers and kids not creative enough and without cutting edge to progress.

That's all I've got.

Onwards to Wigan.