Shorts

Carlisle 0 Spurs 3

Spurs boss it and score three times from three attacks. Vertonghen with a header from a set-piece, a mazy run and shot from Townsend and another late headed goal by Sigurðsson. Then the final whistle went.

Match report brought to you by the highlights viewed on The League Cup show and Sky Sports News.

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Alan Pardew gets an 8 year contract at Newcastle (along with his staff)? Go on Alan, get yourself sacked this summer, run away to the Caribbean with the payout and stick ya feet up mate. Cocktails and sunshine. Please. Do it. Just go. Just do it. Don't even wait for the summer. Leave tomorrow. Now preferable. Forever.

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So if I was caught and punished at work for doing what John Terry did I'll get what? A months suspension from work and a couple hundred quid fine? The FA should make a point out of it. Ban him for 20 games. Then lets see who tries to 'banter' with opposing players like that again. Hold up, the FA got £220k out of this? That should sort out tea and biscuits at head quarters for a couple of weeks. Give it a couple of months and he'll make himself available for the National team again. Glory!

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The personified definition of frustration? The conspiracy theorist standing on a soap box on the corner of Hyde Park screaming obscenities about bickering between a teacher and a student. Nobody is listening.

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Director of football or technical director? Will only mean something tangible if its something more than what our 'general manager' Daniel Levy, is responsible for (i.e. last minute chaotic bids). New training centre + long term academy vision = new scouting system for the short and long term. Foundations for a genuine legacy? Oh yes. Call that prospective new appointment whatever you want, just get it done.

Can we do it on a wet, windy Wednesday night in Carlisle?

Carlisle (League One), away, Milk Cup.

Rotation, rotation, rotation. Caulker, Dawson, Huddlestone and Townsend to come in, right? Dempsey to get another start to sharpen his touch. We're facing Chris Foy and Mark Clattenburg this weekend so [cliché]we need to rest key players[/cliché] and brace ourselves for the catalyst that will no doubt lead to another apologetic capitulation at the Theatre of Nightmares. Although arguable, the likes of Bale and Sigurðsson could do with some uplifting moments to bolster their belief. So Dembele could sit out and Siggy might have the opportunity to kick-start his mojo. We're still missing a fair few players which means one or two will have to be risked. Although Brad will no doubt sit it out. Is this game the right time for Lloris second appearance? Would we really be surprised to see Carlo between the sticks? Probably not. We won't. Others might.

I'm out this evening recording the podcast so here's hoping to another Villas-Boas touchline punch-celebration in drenched suit (has it stopped raining yet?) with Freund just behind him jumping up into the air looking all goofy and giddy.

This is all I've got. I promise to try harder in the next round. If we get there.

We're gonna get there right?