Derby 0 Spurs 3

Oh, now you want me to come on? Ok, ok, if you really want me to get up then I will. Let me make sure my hair band is in place. And I need a mirror. Why is there never any mirrors in the dugouts? More instructions. YAWN. Ok, I’ll go and touch the ball once or twice and win the game for you. Because that’s what I do.

- Dimitar Berbatov, Saturday 9th Feb, away to Derby

Only our second away win this season. Not a great performance by any stretch of the imagination. But respectable in the end, only thanks to the presence of the Bulgarian who's very presence seemed to melt the Derby defence. They simply couldn't cope with the fluttering eyelashes and Andy Garcia eyes as he swooned past them. The beautiful one, ignoring the out-stretched hands which held pen and notepad for autographs, wasn't involved in the first goal, played a part in the second and scored an ice-cool penalty at the end.

Bent returned, quietly and ineffective. The obvious problem Spurs have is the inability to retain the ball when Berbatov isn't in the team. Nothing new. We've had this issue since Carrick left. And as for Bent, we don't seem to be able to fit him into the system.

Dawson is out for three weeks. Which makes the Carling Cup Final line-up of upmost importance. Two UEFA Cup games on the way before hand, best to play a strong team in the first leg, thrash them and then settle for a second string side for the home tie. Can't afford any other blips of bad luck. Although losing Daws is probably more of a blessing. Kaboul can return to the team now to add that little bit extra composure and steel. I know, I know, I crack myself up. This joke will never get tiresome. Nice goal though, it has to be said, from the trainwreck.

West Ham dropped two points, meaning 5 points seperate us. Spurs are stuck in the middle at the minute. Directly below them, Boro are top of the 'Relegation Dogfight League'. The 'ammers are bottom of the 'UEFA Cup Place League'. Were on our own in the 'We would be 4th if we didn't have such a bad start to the season had Ramos been there from the summer instead of Jol' League.

The next 6 league games will tell us if we are going to claim a spot in Europe via a league placement. If we win the Milk Cup, it won't matter. Even though it does matter.

5th, 5th, 10th just doesn't have that decent look about it.

BBC 5 Live on the scene.....

BBC Five Live have a reporter up at the Spurs Lodge who apparently has just spoken to Poyet.

This is what Ramos right-hand man had to say:

Woodgate

'I would love to sign Woodgate, hes a magnificent player, I hope we can sort something out'

Chimbonda

'Chimbonda played one of his best ever games for the club on Tuesday......we'll see'

Berbatov

'I guarantee he will be at the club when we go to Wembley...that is unless Abramovich gives us a 100 million for him'

Bit of beeb whorage for you right there.

In the know?

From Subside.us.com.

Those craaaazy yanks.

Element of surprise

Boro want £12M for Downing. Petrov, proven international and La Liga veteran cost £4.7M. It's not difficult to see what's wrong with this country. How Southgate can keep a straight face asking for that amount and how we persist in mugging ourselves off with paying it is beyond me.

So far, we've been linked to several players, with ITK's and the press alike, sharing the whorage. I'm gonna place the little faith I have left on Tottenham signing one or two players 'OUT OF THE BLUE'. In other words, players nobody who claims to be an insider has knowledge about.

I'm pretty sure, Berbatov came out of nowhere. Never remember reading anyone claiming to know we were after him - although the Bulgarian media picked up on the story, us lot over here didn't get a sniff of it. Obviously, the position this time will be a midfielder or defender rather than another striker (if you believe the press and forums, 'Fred' is on his way).

Gunter was 'out of the blue'. You'd just expect the quality would be as near to world-class as possible, because once we lost Berbatov we won't have a player of that type of quality in the squad.

Replace 'hope' with 'expect'.

Transfer News

Right. Let’s do a roundup of the past weeks tabloid whorage.

Woodgate and Taylor

Apparently, rejected on both counts. If this is true, then it makes you wonder who else Comolli has written down in his hit list of prospective signings. Woodgate? Has he managed to play more than 3 successive games in his whole career? Taylor is decent enough but considering Newcastle’s problems it’s nigh impossible for them to consider selling him unless he wants to leave. Which is unlikely.

Prefer to file these under ‘disinformation’.

Hutton
So, we bid for him. It got accepted. He declined the chance to come down South. His agent then stated the player wants 2/3 days to think about it. He then apparently rejects us again. We wait a few days and then offer him a better wage packet. He turns it down again. How all this managed to be leaked to the press astounds me. Behind closed doors is a concept football agents are incapable of grasping. £8M for a player from Scotland is about £5M too much.

Berbatov

Oozing class on the pitch at the moment. His agent is insisting that Dimitar’s future lies elsewhere. And that it’s all down to Spurs to take responsibility and settle the matter, suggesting that Spurs may have had bids for the player or attempting to suggest that Spurs want to sell the player against his will. A bit of arsehole is this Dantchev.

Ronaldinho

LOL’ing yet? Back in November an article from Spanish ‘tabloid’ stated a rumour that Ron was on his way to White Hart Lane. This was then dismissed by the journalist who made it up, claiming that his intent was to show how easy it is to start an Internet rumour – and have the newspapers latch onto it. Obviously, nobody credible printed the ridiculous story other than the equivalent to the Daily Star. He should have aimed a bit lower if he wanted to go nationwide with the ruse.

Then, some idiot decided to revise this with an alleged ITK piece which would have us believe that a boardroom conversation was subject to a wire tap (I mean, ffs). Levy allegedly stating that he would pay £30M for the Brazilian. The ITK piece originated from the COYS forum.

Here’s the wire tap:

"Hard to believe Danny’s prepared to shell out that kind of money."
"Saw it with my own eyes; offer on the table for 30 very big ones!"
"Will they take it?"
"Hard to say?"
"He beat both Lumps and Henry didn't he?"
"Yup."
"Would he come here?"
"Even harder to say."
"Tottenham might be a bit of a shock to him."
"It'd be a long way from Port Happy all right" "We can dream. "

Pathetic. The author has since admitted it was a joke. In this day and age, it’s likely to get picked up by a lazy hack and printed (not the wire tap, the ‘Spurs want Ron’ angle). Some minor minor Internet sites have already run the story. LOL’ing now?

Ustari

Apparently Ramos is keeping tabs on 21 year old Oscar Ustari. He’s an Argie and plays for Gatafe. Meant to be pretty decent. Not sure if this one has made it into the Spurs forums yet. Guessing probably has, considering that the press will link anyone considered decent to Ramos due to his Spanish connection.

Shimbonba

Just fuck off.

Berbatov Update

Oh, we do like these, don't we? We get them every day. If it isn't Ramos or Levy or a football agent or another player, its Berbs himself this time. Interviewed on the radio.

According to Blighty (who lives in Bulgaria) who post's at the COYS forum, Berbatov was interviewed by Nova TV via telephone. Summary:

- Berbs was angry stating that all the 'quotes' attributed to him in the press about wanting to leave or wanting to play for Manchester United are not his own.
- Other people, including Danchev - his agent - are speaking for themselves and not the player.
- He was asked about leaving and he said he had everything he wanted at Spurs including the money he wanted.
- He didn't directly say he wasn't leaving but gave the impression he wasn't personally pushing for a move in the Jan window.

Again, the fact that he doesn't directly state 'I am not leaving, I want to stay' means that it's pinch of salt time. With rumours of Chelsea tapping up the player, this interview makes him appear to be innocent of any transfer goings-on, which will then make Spurs appear to be the ones selling him on their own accord when it happens. But that then contradicts everything Levy is saying about the matter. See how easy it is to read anything into a string of words?

We've known for an age something isn't quite right. Nothing has changed. I'm counting the days till February.

UPDATE:

British press now reporting on the interview.

http://www.skysports.com/story/0,19528,11095_3028551,00.html

Fools Gold

From the Daily Mail:

Ramos warns: If we sell Berbatov, this will prove Tottenham is not a big or a great club

Juande Ramos has delivered a stark warning - great clubs do not sell their best players.

With speculation rife that Tottenham are ready to offload Dimitar Berbatov for as much as £31m, Spurs boss Ramos has told the White Hart Lane board: You'd be fools to let him go.

The Spaniard insisted: "It's a logical deduction that if Tottenham sell Berbatov they are not a big club.

"I don't want to sell him. This is my message. There are very few strikers a Berba's quality. Those who do exist play for great teams in the Champions League.

"Great teams do not sell their best players and he's the only great player not in the Champions League this season."

Ramos at it again, this time (it would appear) delivering an indirect threat towards the chairman. Of course, its more likely that the Mail have taken comments from a Ramos interview and simply focused their attention on the above words and nothing else, making it a little out of context. He hasn't actually called the board 'fools' or issued a threat to the club. He's just stating the obvious outcome of selling our prized asset.

Or course, even more likely is the fact that Ramos IS indirectly telling the Spurs board to be careful. I wouldn't worry. £31M can buy us a couple of Darren Bents.

Public Apology

I should know better (though part of me is still screaming that something ain't quite right). Berbatov has finally spoken out about all the rumours, and isn't best pleased that lies are being published about him wanting to leave Spurs. I wonder if the press will cover this story in comparison to the other ones suggesting he hates being at the club. Ironic that yesterday evening I was reading about Ramos suggesting he couldn't keep the player at the club if he didn't want to stay.

Berbs:

"I don't like to speak too much and don't like to be in the spotlight or the papers," said the striker. "I just want to play football.

"There has been a lot of stuff written about me leaving. I haven't said anything until now, but they are now involving my family and I cannot allow that. When somebody is writing lies about my family I must get involved.

"I am my own man, when I want to speak I will and I will tell you the truth no matter how hard it is. That is why I am talking now.

"I want to let everyone know that I am a Tottenham Hotspur player, I love the club and everyone at the club. I don't always smile so much, but that does not make me a bad person.

"I don't smile because we are near the bottom of the table and have not been playing well - I have not been playing well either.

"The worst thing is when someone starts writing lies and when people see that they start to believe it. That really is the worst thing.

"I just want to say that I am here, I am happy here and I will help the club in any way I can," he added, before stating his gratitude for the ongoing support the fans have given him since his arrival from Bayer Leverkusen in the summer of 2006.

"The fans love the club and they have been behind me ever since my first game. I appreciate them the most and I want to tell them that I am not going anywhere.

"I have a contract and I will give my best, for now it is not going so well for me because all the writing in the papers has been messing with my head and I lost my concentration.

"I don't want to see my name in the papers anymore - I just want to play football and enjoy myself. When I see things in the paper with somebody telling lies about my father, how can I be calm? I am disappointed and I don't understand how somebody can write something like that - it is a lie.

"Bringing my family into it is the biggest sin."

That's pretty conclusive, no? Would someone truly lie about his feelings so publicly? Well, ok, not a good question considering a certain Judas did something very similar a number of years ago. But this seems geninue, and I feel a tad guilty now for believing everything else about the player just because he sulks. Not that I'm forgiving him for his lack of effort and other complaints I have about his form, but I suppose you could argue that his lack of form has more to do with the fact that his team mates are shit and we have high hopes of him to carry everyone on his back due to being some what 'world class'.

I think it's time for his feet to do the talking, and hopefully todays UEFA Cup match and Sundays clash against wonderful Wigan will play a big part in re-building confidence for Berbatov, the team and the fans.

This story is covered by most sports sites (who took the quotes from the Official Spurs site), though nice to see the following in todays The Sun:

"Dimitar Berbatov's brother says the Bulgarian striker has "outgrown" Tottenham and wants to join Manchester United "

"Dimitar Berbatov's brother says the Spurs striker gets "grumpy" when he is not the "centre of attention and main man "

There's an interview with his brother, but no quotes from Berbs, more an opinion from his bro - however, would he lie about family in this manner, blatantly saying that Berbatov wants to leave? See how easy it is to get confused when people are constantly contridicting statements?

I feel dirty that I allowed my frustrations to blind me to simple logic. Just because a newspaper reports something doesn't mean its true. Even and interview with Berbs bro.

And if Berbatov does have personal issues, unrelated to football, these are his own and not for us to judge him. Won't stop the gossip though. And we all know that even when certain people in football say something, it doesn't mean they mean it. Look at Jol and his short stories and soundbites.

I'm gonna wipe the slate clean. Today is a new day. The past is the past.

No Diggity

One minute, Jol claims there wasn't a problem with Berbatov, the next he says there is. Make your mind up, Martin. First he claims he didn't have to ask Berbatov to get up and warm-up in the game against Newcastle. Now he claims that's exactly the case. In his new book. Yes, a book. Probably had an extra chapter added to it recently.

He harps on about Berbatov being a bit like Cruyff. 'Gifted'. But apparently, not a figher. So, why the fuck play him week in and week out? Bit of a contridiction there Martin. Either he is good for the team or he isn't, yet you had no problem playing him and yet now suddenly you reveal he isn't a fighter. Excellent selection work right there. Stick the ones with no heart into the team to lead us.

In addition to all this, today Berbatov Senior is apparently telling everyone his son wants out THIS January.

"My son doesn't feel happy at Tottenham any more. He wants to leave."

If that isn't 'ITK' I don't know what is. In addition (the Daily Mirror) add a nice little quote from a club insider (made up) stating:

Sources close to the striker added: "Dimitar is telling everybody that he doesn't want to stay and would like to leave in January.

"He feels that he made a mistake in the summer by not asking the club to sell him when Manchester United were interested."

Thank you for stating the obvious.

Berbatov can go. World class player when he feels like it, horrific attitude towards the club. Shame really, its been a while since we've had a geniune world class player at the club, and it might be a while longer before we get another. Though he hasn't done his reputation any favours with his sulking. But then he is bound to suggest that Spurs haven't done him any favours with their politics.

Comolli: Berbatov Stays / The Times: Berbatov Goes

From the club that brought you the excellent 'We Never Spoke to Ramos' and 'Martin Jol has our full support' statements, Damien Comolli proudly presents a Dont Worry Production, straight from the heart of the Lane (but failing to appear on the website in an official capacity):

"It is simply not an issue. I met with Dimitar's agent today and he assured me Dimitar is not looking for a move in January and simply wants to concentrate on helping the team push up the table.

"He is on a long-term contract with us and Juande (Ramos) sees him as an important part of our plans."

You heard the man. He will not be looking for a move in January. Yeah sure, Comolli mentions 'long term contract' but if Berbatov was planning on staying wouldn't he publicly deny the rumours? Wouldn't his agent do the same? If Spurs were confident he was not looking to move on, wouldn't Comolli clearly state 'Berbatov will not be leaving Spurs, not in January or the summer. He has a contract and he is committed to it' as means of burying the uncertainty?

No, instead he simply tells us that the player won't be looking for a move in 'January'.

"No ones looking....I could jump over and the fence....and BE FREE!!"

This is then followed up by the usual textbook tabloid/broadsheet article (no quotes or proof) that Berbatov is leaving the club and in the summer. Maybe the journo (in this case The Times Gary Jacob) has also noted Comolli's 'January' statement and gone to town on it in a creative frenzy or maybe he can put two and two together and work out the fact that there's more chance of Levy growing hair on his head than the Bulgarian remaining loyal.

For your reading pleasure, here's the article:

Dimitar Berbatov free to leave Spurs if they miss out on top four
by Gary Jacob

Dimitar Berbatov has sought assurance that he will be able to leave Tottenham Hotspur at the end of the season. Emil Dantchev, his representative, met Damien Comolli, the Tottenham sporting director, yesterday to discuss the Bulgaria forward’s future.

Berbatov has been unsettled by Tottenham’s refusal to allow him to move to Manchester United in the summer as well as his club’s poor start to the season.

United first made an approach for the forward towards the end of the last campaign, in which he scored 23 goals in his first season after his move from Bayer Leverkusen. Tottenham were unwilling to sell him, not least because supporters would have questioned their ambition after the departure of Michael Carrick, the England midfield player, to United a year before. But the club are believed to have come to a gentlemen’s agreement that he can leave for a large fee if Tottenham fail to qualify for the Champions League this season.

There is the prospect of the striker asking for a transfer in January, but Comolli says that was not on the agenda during talks yesterday. “It is simply not an issue,” Comolli said. “I met with Dimitar’s agent today and he assured me Dimitar is not looking for a move in January and simply wants to concentrate on helping the team to push up the table. He is on a long-term contract with us.”

If we miss out on Champions League football? If? LOL. Good one Gary. If.....if all the above is true then that speaks volumes for the type of man Berbatov truly is. A let down. An a-typical modern day footballer with no true heart or commitment. Tevez never sulked last season. He got on with it. And yes, he looked far far better than he actually was because he was playing in a team that were simply woeful in every possible way, but he gave 500% for his club even though he knew he was off. Berbatov has given us an epic sulk. Nothing more. Well, apart from several flicks that have led to goals from Robbo hoofs up the field. But I'm sure post-Ramos it's gonna be a bit more attractive. Whether Berbatov has a change of heart or not, remains to be seen.

Fact is, he has the power to make all the rumours and tabloid guess work go away by simply telling us, in his own words. "I'm not leaving Spurs".

So, Dimitar...anything you want to share with us?

Berbatov. The man with a face like a slapped arse.

A player in lilywhite should be 100%. Not 99%. Not 70% and without doubt not 30% which is what most of our players are on at the moment.

If Berbatov has gone against 'character' (remember, he has harped on about rejecting Utd for Spurs - and its well documented he is a modest down to earth man) and he wants out, then fuck him. For all his posturing and pretty boy looks, if he's gonna play with a dis-interested and negative attitude then I don't want him there.

If he now believes he made a mistake joining us and not going to a Champions League side instead, its because of the one season of success he had at Spurs - so surely he should continue to represent the team and build on that reputation? He signed a contract. But what does that matter in the modern age of football when players are more important than the clubs.

There's no doubt something is wrong with him this season. I heard whispers of personal problems, unrelated to football, but going from the incidents with Jol you suspect its more to do with the politics of the club and the tactics on the pitch. Maybe that's the reason he wants out. A player of his quality - a world class player - deserves the ball played to feet and not hoofed up field.

If you want, we can all hope that Ramos joining will place an end to all that happened before and if Berbatov reclaims his past form, we'll all be laughing again....at the opposition, rather than our inability to win games.

Back with a whimper

I would dearly love to say that I’ve been on various information gathering blackops missions to the Levy Mansion and the Spurs training ground. That's simply not been the case. And apart from being handcuffed to the bed posts and spanked there's not much to report on. And no you can't see the pictures of me and the £300 per hour escort girls who are dressed up as Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Willow. If you're wondering, I was Giles.

With regards to football (and football only) International break has left me drained and bored. Zero inspiration or drive to achieve anything in the crusade. Regardless, I was actually feeling quite good when I got up this morning until I was reminded that Spurs are on the box tonight. This means I’ll be losing out on 2 hours of playing Football Manager 2008 – the only place where Tottenham ever win anything (I’m currently 2nd with 20 games gone).

Talking about the International break, what about The England, hey? Just like watching Spurs play except Spurs are more entertaining in defeat. And although I don’t want to slate Robinson too much (the defending prior to the shot and after his ‘save’ was pathetic) it has to be stated – why on earth is he still playing first team football?

My head isn't photoshopped

At no point has he shown any improvement. No matter what he says in interviews to help boost his own confidence and no matter the support from McClaren and Jol – it’s not working in his favour. It’s like both managers expect his form to change abruptly for the better. But on current form he is simply not good enough to start games for club and country, and yet there he is. Between the posts. But apparently he has a calf injury so will miss tonight's game at Newcastle. That’s one way to drop him from the team. Invent an injury. Unless he really did hurt himself, more than likely his jaw, eating a calf.

Elsewhere Kemsley has left the building. Apparently he won’t be attempting a takeover bid of the club and has fucked off to America. That’s one down, one to go. We live in hope, right?

Chimbonda continues to act like a typical mercenary. This time (in an interview) discussing a failed transfer to Chelsea when an agreement wasn’t found between us and the scum. Fantastic opportunity he called it. Personally, anything that will make Chelsea even weaker is good in my books. This season, he can’t defend to save his life and his forward play is piss poor. But we are stuck with him for a little bit longer. How long till January?

Something else that made me laugh is the textbook preview for tonight’s clash up at St James Park in The Sun, displaying a photo of Berbatov with a Newcastle shirt and various other pictures from his younger teenage days telling us how he worshipped Alan Shearer and apparently slept with his Toon army shirt. Though Shearer didn’t join Newcastle till 1996, so bit late in the day for him to go to bed wearing a black and white striped football jersey. Maybe there was a shortage of pyjamas in Bulgaria that year. Regardless, nice to see a rehash of a story that was printed several months back. Running out of newsworthy stories are we chaps? Time to get a new group of monkeys and typewriters.

Anyway. I’m sure my inspiration will return after this evenings defeat. Oh the glory of supporting the lilywhites. Never a dull moment. Very few good ones.