Unleash purgatory!
Saturday, September 29, 2012 at 11:25AM Okay, so I'm half cut, I've had 6 hours sleep in two days and I'm about to smash the **** out of Babestation or which ever one of those channels has the less silicone. Prefer the natural look. I'm a true gentleman of class. So, what we got? Manchester United away in the Theatre of Capitulation. No win there since 1989. Four points from a possible sixty six. It's pretty much the football version of Bugs Bunny versus Elmer Fudd. Have you ever seen Fudd get the better of Bugs? Nope. Bugs even dresses up in skirts and lipstick. With carrot in hand, he's positively teasing the crap out of him. He's got it won before he's even turned up. Everything that happens, happens because that's what people expect to see transpire. There result has to be fleshed out with entertainment. Although I'm fairly sure I've never seen Fergie chomping on a carrot in the dugout and even if United swapped their kit for high heels and a frock they'd still manage to beat us.
We don't turn up at all. They beat us.
We play well, don't do enough. They beat us.
We play well, they still beat us.
We play well, they get a controversial decision go their way. They beat us.
We take the lead. They still beat us.
We run out onto their pitch. Someone in Lilywhite does something stupendously silly. They beat us.
There's a referee on the pitch? They beat us.
Did someone say Foy + fourth official Clattenburg? They beat us.
At the time of writing, it's 23:15 (Friday night). I can picture the game in my head already. Spurs too slow off the mark. United penalty. Ball kicked opposite way to the goal, its still found its way into the back of the net. United score again, 2-0 from the kick off. In the press box the reporters are all naked covered in each others spit, dancing around a burning effigy of AVB. Foy dishes out the yellow cards when Spurs players attempt to pull him away from his touchline French kiss with Sir Alex. Drama!
Do people still bother previewing this match in the build up to it? If I attempted to in my current state (I'll give it a go in a second), or even if I was sober, I'd say we've probably got as good a chance as most to upset United. They can be got at. And we do play better away from home. The issue isn't so much about being outclassed. United have some superb players and they are a team seasoned on the fact they don't always have to be at their best to beat opposition. They just beat them because they can because they are United. Literally united. Whether it be a mugging (like the one dished out to us at the Lane last season) or being clinical or simply never entertaining the prospective of defeat. But its still a game of football and we have our own shiny set of quality too.
There's a chapter in United's history about 'How to show no respect to the opposition and be relentless bastards'. That's the page we need to rip out and scribble all over our arms before we run out to be tested. Hoodoo's can impact games thanks to the fragility concerning mental strength and believing in said hoodoo. So many Spurs sides of recent years believe in it. Much like so many Spurs sides believed in the one Chelsea had over us. Time to treat it as a one off. There is no history. There is just the present and you have to own the day to push into the next one with a smug smile on your face.
Therefore what? What's the master-plan then? It's that old cliché - belief. That commodity we so often fool ourselves into believing we believe in. I think. Hold up. Let me try that again. Belief - we think we can do it but we never do because we don't really believe we can. Legs turn to jelly, brains turn to mush. We welcome it with open arms. It's fairly pathetic to be honest. United don't need any help most times, so we endeavour to bend over for them each time. Yes, some decisions have been head scratches, but enough of the apologetic nonsense. I've said that every year for a fair few now. I'm having to be apologetic myself for wishing and hoping for something new to talk about in this fixture.
So, let's pretend we do believe. Come on now, let's just BELIEVE. New coach and new ways of preparing will equate to a new faith in ourselves and the players in each other in what they can achieve. All I want us to do is turn up and attack and take our chances. Proper basic football 101 stuff. Whatever happens, take it on the chin. Can't argue if you get outclassed. Defeats can sometimes illustrate what needs fixing in terms of positions, formations, instructions. It's the attitude that gels all that stuff together. The application on the day. No blue screens of death please. Lose in glorious fashion, not with comedy.
If we do lose and its another controversy or idiotic mistake then we're need more than a new coach to bury this hoodoo. We'll probably have to reanimate Harry Hotspur from the history books or offer a sacrifice to the footballing Gods pre-match, someone like Graham Roberts. That should get us a draw, minimum. If he's got a full set of teeth. Or perhaps Chirpy can do some voodoo in the dressing room, muster up some dark forces, momentarily paralyse the United defence every time Bale has the ball. Which Bale would welcome considering how slow moving he's been so far this season. That bloke is a full on nutter, don't ever mistake his cuddles and handshakes for anything more than an act. He's rotten to the core. Involved in all sorts. That's Chirpy, not Bale. You think Gareth got his ears pinned back? Nah mate, Chirpy + superglue. His idea of banter. Email me if you want to see photos of our Cockerel mascot, two handcuffed dwarves, a loukaniko and Lindsey Lohan. I'm telling you, he's messed up.
So onwards. With or without Lady Luck. Time we made our own luck. Time we forged our own destiny with our own hands. Time we got a grip. It's Manchester United. It's not a shadow of a colossus. It's not five years ago and it's not ten years ago. Let's hope for something, anything. We are up against it, only if we think we are. You're only up against it if you think that's your role, your place in life. If there's doubt, we lose. It's that simple. Step up, move up and believe you're more than just a plucky underdog that always accepts a patronising pat on the back. I want beasts not men. I want arrogance. I want character, not the fictional kind. Fire in the belly not fluttering butterflies.
Step up Tottenham. Spirit of the Spartans. Unleash hell! No, that's not it, doesn't sound right.
Unleash purgatory!
Ah, that's better.
We're gonna get dicked. Come on you Spurs.
Reader Comments (74)
We will prevail: A win at Old Trafford is happening today" law of averages says we have to win eventually this coupled with a seriously good side says this is so.COYS
Manchester United fan here. Hoping for a good game. May the best side win, and may you have no reason to complain about the ref.
Oh and good luck for the rest of the season. Hope you finish above Le Arse and Chelski.
If we play intelligent, the current squad of Spurs has serious chances to beat the current squad of MU which of course remains always a big and difficult to beat club.
All we need to that purpose is to use the right players in our squad and to follow some intelligent tactics.
The referee issue should have been solved already by Levy and those who run the club if they really cared about the club winning on the field.
I don't know any chairman/owner of a big club in the world who permits its FA to robe repeatedly his club through biased referee decisions.
Would any of you have permitted that if you were in the place of Levy?
...to rob
The players say to AVB, how do we win today boss and AVB says, if the going gets tough just pick up a bit of shite and throw it at them. They hate shite. The players say, but boss, will there be shite out there and Steffen says 'WILL THERE BE SHITE'.
In terms of the refereeing decisions, if it was that obvious would you agree with the club allowing the manager to pull the players off the field until the original decision was overturned, full in the knowledge that we would incur points sanction and the wrath of the sanctimonious press and the ire of other fans up and down the country.
I would never agree with the manager pulling the players off.
PAUL JIGGINS is the sun reporter whose article stated that Spurs players are on verge of revolt because of AVB nasty training sessions. This guy is a joke, no sources nothing, just more gutter journalism.
The pulling players off was in response to Levy not caring enough to affect some change at board level?? Not sure how that will be done unless it's an internal club decision. For those who 'would never agree with the manager pulling the players off' do you agree that its ok to just get dicked over year in year out. As most would concur the trip to OT is beyond a joke.
Mariner ...... you're a referee (Paul) so what do YOU think? Me ...... I think this idea is a load of nonsense, and just as big a load of nonsense as saying that Levy could stop referees giving decisions to Man U. We can go on showing those You-Tube clips showing us being shafted by refs till the end of time, it wouldn't stop the next bad decision happening. It's all to do with the clout United have, especially at home. I watched a game in a Sheffield pub when Gomez tipped the ball round but a penalty was still given. When the replays were shown all the Man U supporters laughed, as though this was what SHOULD happen. It won't stop until United stop succeeding perhaps when the Glazers run them down to the ground. Then, as with Liverpool, refs will start to turn on them and repay them for everything. But in the meantime, we just have to get on with it - do the best we can, support one another and play like the team that held on after Dave McKay got carried off on a stretcher there with a broken leg .... and sat up and shook his fist at the rest of the team ...... and they dug in and held on. Till we are that determined we'll go on losing. So the time to change it and really give our all is NOW. COYS!!!
Superjan beat them on his own playing for Ajax last season . Hopefully he will instill some belief , he looks captain material to me
Dembele ran the show last time for Jol's boys . We must believe , we will beat the Mancs in their own back yard . As Wenger of Woolwich would say . Why not ??
Mariner, I can only assume you're a gooner. Look up 'Sportsmanship' in a dictionary. If you know what one is.
well, a good start to the day, Gooners beaten at home, long drip of water stalking the touchline in fury & frustration, emirates crowd silent, their team very average. couldn't beat it! now on to old trafford!
The stars are alligned: Gooners losing now to beat United all on the same day. COYS
The Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd analogy is funny Spooky, now I finally understand why we never get the decisions going our way at OT. Looking back at some of the appalling blunders made by Clattenburg and Co, one could argue that the officials all did their badges at the ACME school of refereeing. Believe me mate I'm still fuming over Pedro's disallowed goal.
3 points hopefully.....That's all folks! COYS.
I see a lot of you buying into the propaganda that Sir Alex has the refs in his pocket. Agreed, over the past few years you've had a few decisions go against you at Old Trafford. But the only time they probably cost you a result was the Mendes ghost goal.
Also, we (United) have just as many decisions given against us as any other team, but the media don't highlight them, nor does our manager go off whinging like Benitez, Dalglish or Rodgers.
Now you Spurs fans are a sensible lot, and will probably agree with statistical evidence if nothing else. Here is how the league table would have looked if all the debatable refereeing decisions of last season were set right - http://www.debatabledecisions.com/previous-seasons
Clearly, Fergie doesn't have the refs in his pocket!
The Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd analogy is funny Spooky, now I finally understand why we never get the decisions going our way at OT. Looking back at some of the appalling blunders made by Clattenburg and Co, one could argue that the officials all did their badges at the ACME school of refereeing. Believe me mate I'm still fuming over Pedro's disallowed goal.
3 points hopefully.....That's all folks! COYS.
Here we go, no i'm not a gooner, please. This was a comment on 'loanx's' comment, maybe you lot did not start reading from the top. I was underlining how little can be done besides cry into our beer although being shafted for the world to see. Of course you just get on with it. One of you got there .
Sportsmanship!!! Where are you going/ coming from with this comment, whats' sportsmanship have to do with someone expressing their frustrations about consistently incorrect refereeing decisions, always seeming to one particular team a massive advantage.
Andyerased please let us not attempt to trade or compare our cockerel credentials, (providing you have any) its just silly.
the power of positive thinking, plus prayer,all denominations welcome.
well it's worth a try!
Here we go, no i'm not a gooner, please. This was a retort on 'loanx's' comment, maybe you lot did not start reading from the top. I was underlining how little can be done besides cry into our beer although being shafted for the world to see. Of course you just get on with it. Ginger you got there in the end.
Sportsmanship!!! Where are you going/ coming from with this comment, whats' sportsmanship have to do with someone expressing their frustrations about consistently incorrect refereeing decisions, always seeming to hand one particular team a massive advantage over my team. Shall I catalogue the refereeing oddities that some how worked to our detriment at OT? Or against MU in general. I regard this game generally as a reserve/ youth team game. Its my club and i'm interested, but I detach emotionally from this particular fixture, the Bugs Bunny analogy is apt, our part is to Elmer.
Andyerased please let us not attempt to trade or compare our cockerel credentials, (providing you have any) its just silly.
Apologies for the triple comment, not sure what happened there
Ginger - debatable decisions also include persistent fouling that goes unpunished, fouls that should be yellows or reds, yellows that should be reds, ignored penalty claims, fouls magiced out of nothing, lets not comment on diving and red in the face swearing at the ref that goes unpunished. The table is bollocks, MU get an unimaginable amount of 'good luck' from the officials. As the fans of Fulham last year. We could go on.
Mariner - Yeah, right! We are the only club that does all the things you mentioned! You can choose to look at objective data to back up your argument or harp on about a million injustices that every fan thinks their team suffers. Like I said, The Mendes goal is probably the only one you have a right to feel aggrieved about as it cost you points. You could cry about other decisions all day long or accept that your team simply gives up more often than not. Stop playing the victims. Those Scousers are more than enough for us to deal with.
About the game today - We're starting Scholes and Giggs together in a 2 man midfield. You already have an advantage there.
Mariner - Yeah, right! We are the only club that does all the things you mentioned! You can choose to look at objective data to back up your argument or harp on about a million injustices that every fan thinks their team suffers. Like I said, The Mendes goal is probably the only one you have a right to feel aggrieved about as it cost you points. You could cry about other decisions all day long or accept that your team simply gives up more often than not. Stop playing the victims. Those Scousers are more than enough for us to deal with.
About the game today - We're starting Scholes and Giggs together in a 2 man midfield. You already have an advantage there.
Ginger I get you're a MU fan/ supporter, and you may talk about being objective but with the saturation of favourable decisions going your way over the years, you just don't see it. It ain't about being the victim and as aggrieved as I may be about the Mendes thing, I could reel off much more that actually affects the course of the game, but as I said your support them so you'll never see it.
Show time>
Fantastic! Just fuckin fantastic!
We're playing quick;
Dempsey and Dembele are holding on to the ball and spreading it around;
Siggy is not playing;
on Defence we are keeping mistakes to the very minimum.
I dont want to jinx it but the boys are looking very well prepared for this one. Verry naizz!!
Sssshhhh lol
Siggy is poor poor poooooorrr, please buckle up Siggy, he should not be playing in this game, we have lost the midfield , and he just passed to van Persie at the top of the box again. Why is this guy playing in this game????
I love Tottenham. Come on you Yiddos.
what a day! AVB arrives, critics now shut up! and cream on the cake, we're ahead of gooners! what a day!
I had said you lot had an advantage with Giggs starting, and sure enough that's what happened. Hit the post twice and had three decent penalty shouts turned down though. I bet you won't find Chris Foy to be so bad now.
Anyway, you lot won after 23 years. Enjoy your DVD. Congratulations.
23 Years..... Yessss !
Love The Shirt Love The Spurs
No, no ........ I ALWAYS believed in AVB and Dan the man ....... 'oo said I didn't!!!! How many times over the next week will we hear that!!
Amazing.
Can I get a cheap dig in about the WBA and Norwich home games? Can I?
FAITH. PATIENCE.
Harry .... who the fuck needs him !!!!! 3...2 now let's hear them slang avb COYS
CAn u fffffuuukin believe it!?!?!??!?
Oh my good lord, am I awake.
COY MIGHTY SPURS :-)
its an insult says ferguson, we should have had 5 free penalties and 20 minutes of extra time
Unlucky Ginger.
We love you now Chris Foy.
Above the Le Arse anal.. can't wait to see the scum on Monday.
COYS
Ferguson, you are a joke and a disgrace to football - you are so limited in your views - you are indeed the one who is a joke!
What...a...match. I am speechless (and hoarse). Well done Spurs. We looked so good in every facet today; so strong!...I was sure we would fold and give not just the equalizer, but the winner as well. AVB outmanaged Fergie today...and I'm over the moon for Dempsey's game winner! COYS!
Over the moon although Eating humble pie and my hat, have to give it to AVB today and the players gave everything out on the pitch we just didn't let go of that one goal lead special mention to the beat from brazil my MOTM sandro COYMFS!!!
I am in shock. Still trying to process what I saw today!!!!
23 years! Well done AVB, well done Spurs!!!!
I'm on the train in the way back I'm so happy. that is the best result for a long time and whatever anyone says each player tried their hardest and there was some reasonably clever tactics in the first half. Great to be with real spurs fans
Get in there. I'm buzzing. Just off to get the beers in. No doubt we'll get no credit from the press. Isn't it funny, when utd are backs to the wall their performance is classed as determined, resourceful, solid. When Spurs defend to the last, then we're
lucky. Still, enjoy my fellow brethren.,
I'm a respectful gent but to be blunt, I want to have sex with tottenham the same way AVB does. I was in the verge of destroying the living room set today. Never thought I'd see the day when we would take to them at ol trafford. Chris Foy seemed to be trying to make amends now and then for the Stoke debacle last season. The lads proper defended for a change. And for the AVB doubters, hope you suck on that victory you foolish slags, because Knap may have taken us to the CL and top four et al. Jol may have got us to top 5, but none since 89 allowed us a victory over those cunts from manchester, so there. BEAUTIFUL FUCKIN TOTTENHAM!
It is as it should be: Now we gun for the others and be were we should be: AT THE TOP> COYS!!!
Nearly as good as the win is walker coming out confirming the sun talk shite and that players believe in avbs tactics...
Oooooh when the Spuuuurs ..... go marchiiiiing iiiiinnnnnn! Oh when the Spuuuuurs go maaarchiiiing iiiiinnnn,
I wanna be....be among the numbers....ohhh when the SPUUUURRRS go marching in.
I love all of you YIDDOS!
Still celebrating out here in Switzerland.
Love to you too Spooky.
COYS.
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Spooky! We fucking won it! I was screaming at my local pub! 23 years! Ferguson eat your words! "Spurs is a side that suits us!" YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAA Come on you Spurs!!! Cheers to all the supporters worldwide!