Unleash purgatory!
Saturday, September 29, 2012 at 11:25AM Okay, so I'm half cut, I've had 6 hours sleep in two days and I'm about to smash the **** out of Babestation or which ever one of those channels has the less silicone. Prefer the natural look. I'm a true gentleman of class. So, what we got? Manchester United away in the Theatre of Capitulation. No win there since 1989. Four points from a possible sixty six. It's pretty much the football version of Bugs Bunny versus Elmer Fudd. Have you ever seen Fudd get the better of Bugs? Nope. Bugs even dresses up in skirts and lipstick. With carrot in hand, he's positively teasing the crap out of him. He's got it won before he's even turned up. Everything that happens, happens because that's what people expect to see transpire. There result has to be fleshed out with entertainment. Although I'm fairly sure I've never seen Fergie chomping on a carrot in the dugout and even if United swapped their kit for high heels and a frock they'd still manage to beat us.
We don't turn up at all. They beat us.
We play well, don't do enough. They beat us.
We play well, they still beat us.
We play well, they get a controversial decision go their way. They beat us.
We take the lead. They still beat us.
We run out onto their pitch. Someone in Lilywhite does something stupendously silly. They beat us.
There's a referee on the pitch? They beat us.
Did someone say Foy + fourth official Clattenburg? They beat us.
At the time of writing, it's 23:15 (Friday night). I can picture the game in my head already. Spurs too slow off the mark. United penalty. Ball kicked opposite way to the goal, its still found its way into the back of the net. United score again, 2-0 from the kick off. In the press box the reporters are all naked covered in each others spit, dancing around a burning effigy of AVB. Foy dishes out the yellow cards when Spurs players attempt to pull him away from his touchline French kiss with Sir Alex. Drama!
Do people still bother previewing this match in the build up to it? If I attempted to in my current state (I'll give it a go in a second), or even if I was sober, I'd say we've probably got as good a chance as most to upset United. They can be got at. And we do play better away from home. The issue isn't so much about being outclassed. United have some superb players and they are a team seasoned on the fact they don't always have to be at their best to beat opposition. They just beat them because they can because they are United. Literally united. Whether it be a mugging (like the one dished out to us at the Lane last season) or being clinical or simply never entertaining the prospective of defeat. But its still a game of football and we have our own shiny set of quality too.
There's a chapter in United's history about 'How to show no respect to the opposition and be relentless bastards'. That's the page we need to rip out and scribble all over our arms before we run out to be tested. Hoodoo's can impact games thanks to the fragility concerning mental strength and believing in said hoodoo. So many Spurs sides of recent years believe in it. Much like so many Spurs sides believed in the one Chelsea had over us. Time to treat it as a one off. There is no history. There is just the present and you have to own the day to push into the next one with a smug smile on your face.
Therefore what? What's the master-plan then? It's that old cliché - belief. That commodity we so often fool ourselves into believing we believe in. I think. Hold up. Let me try that again. Belief - we think we can do it but we never do because we don't really believe we can. Legs turn to jelly, brains turn to mush. We welcome it with open arms. It's fairly pathetic to be honest. United don't need any help most times, so we endeavour to bend over for them each time. Yes, some decisions have been head scratches, but enough of the apologetic nonsense. I've said that every year for a fair few now. I'm having to be apologetic myself for wishing and hoping for something new to talk about in this fixture.
So, let's pretend we do believe. Come on now, let's just BELIEVE. New coach and new ways of preparing will equate to a new faith in ourselves and the players in each other in what they can achieve. All I want us to do is turn up and attack and take our chances. Proper basic football 101 stuff. Whatever happens, take it on the chin. Can't argue if you get outclassed. Defeats can sometimes illustrate what needs fixing in terms of positions, formations, instructions. It's the attitude that gels all that stuff together. The application on the day. No blue screens of death please. Lose in glorious fashion, not with comedy.
If we do lose and its another controversy or idiotic mistake then we're need more than a new coach to bury this hoodoo. We'll probably have to reanimate Harry Hotspur from the history books or offer a sacrifice to the footballing Gods pre-match, someone like Graham Roberts. That should get us a draw, minimum. If he's got a full set of teeth. Or perhaps Chirpy can do some voodoo in the dressing room, muster up some dark forces, momentarily paralyse the United defence every time Bale has the ball. Which Bale would welcome considering how slow moving he's been so far this season. That bloke is a full on nutter, don't ever mistake his cuddles and handshakes for anything more than an act. He's rotten to the core. Involved in all sorts. That's Chirpy, not Bale. You think Gareth got his ears pinned back? Nah mate, Chirpy + superglue. His idea of banter. Email me if you want to see photos of our Cockerel mascot, two handcuffed dwarves, a loukaniko and Lindsey Lohan. I'm telling you, he's messed up.
So onwards. With or without Lady Luck. Time we made our own luck. Time we forged our own destiny with our own hands. Time we got a grip. It's Manchester United. It's not a shadow of a colossus. It's not five years ago and it's not ten years ago. Let's hope for something, anything. We are up against it, only if we think we are. You're only up against it if you think that's your role, your place in life. If there's doubt, we lose. It's that simple. Step up, move up and believe you're more than just a plucky underdog that always accepts a patronising pat on the back. I want beasts not men. I want arrogance. I want character, not the fictional kind. Fire in the belly not fluttering butterflies.
Step up Tottenham. Spirit of the Spartans. Unleash hell! No, that's not it, doesn't sound right.
Unleash purgatory!
Ah, that's better.
We're gonna get dicked. Come on you Spurs.
Reader Comments (74)
Awesome!! Ja!!!
@#LivingRoomCouchwhenwewin
I can't drink or get high, 'coz I'm working tonight. So there I sit with the smug ManUre-loving spouse to my left and her equally smug first-born (aka my son) on the right. The big red-loving galoot has brought another Munchester-loving pal and his obnoxiously cute wife to share in their enjoyment of another Tottenham sacrifice to the Evil Empire! They are grinning at me and offering me pre-kick-off condolences. Little digs and jests...har-har...all in good fun you know...
The dog is whimpering because I'm chewing on his ear and twisting his bushy tail between white-knuckled sweaty hands. My glare is fixed on the box with Ninja-like intensity. I'm ready for the worst. I may have to kill someone today...
And then...GLORY-BE...Super Jan streaks through the Manx muggles and puts one past that philosopher goalie, Kierkegard or whatever...and I'm laughing and crying and french-ing the dog. Then it's Super-Bale into the side-netting. I'm delerious and my wife is threatening to call the cops. My son wont look at me. I remain focused. And then...DISASTER...FUCKING Ninny slips one past Brad the lad. Now they're back in the game. The wife and brat are chuckling, because we all know deep-down that Spurs are about to fold-up like a cardboard battleship in a hurricane. I hold my head in my hands peering through slitted fingers. Off the post! A penalty surely! Arrgghhh!!! I can't stand it...THEN HALLELUJAH...it's Super-Bale and Jack Dempsey with the knock-out punch. BooYah!! Suck it my loving family!!! Glory...Glory...Totten-...! What?! Kagawa!? Fuck NOOOOOO!! We're going to lose!!!!! More evil chuckles from the peanut gallery. I can feel the ulcer growing in the pit of my acid-churning stomach. I can remember the 5-3 loss of which my wife smilingly reminds me Not again, God. PLEASE!! But wait...Siggy in for Dempsey! We play better. Then the THudd for Dembele. Better!! Dawson for Defoe. What the Fuck is AVB doing. Is he tryin to out-manage Sir Alex? Doesn't he know OWF has the refs and time-keepers in his pocket...what! Only 4 minutes of extra-time. Come-on boys. Hudd heads one out. Daws rejects another. Siggy races down the other end...and loses it...STUPID PRICK! Oh no. A corner...another,,,,THE WHISTLE!!! Oh YEEHEYESSSS!!!
After 10 minutes of foul-mouthed fist-pumping and shouting and singing...I find myself alone in the TV room. I open the door. It's time to go to work. Night-shift beckons. The bedroom door is closed. i suspect it's bolted. As i tip-toe past and out the front-door, I notice that the couch in the living room has been made-up for tomorrow. I stride away down the road whistling Colonel Bogey, because I'm a Fucking Yiddo and we beat the red-trash from Manchester today and I am once again king in my own home. A king on a couch in the front room, but a king none-the-less.
FINALLY !! damn ! Its too late to put it how it feels ! Best thing IMO is this should shut the boo boys for now and give some backing to AVB.
Ginger, morning mate, thought you'd be on hand to offer some of your smug red supporting insight or are you just going to melt away like the rest who come on give it the big one offering the 'best of luck' condescending spiel because they figure the 3 points is already. then horror Elmer Fudd fucked over Bugs. That's All Folks.
@caterham7
Excellent, excellent post sir. We are indeed Kings, if for only a day.
I actually stopped watching the last 10 minutes. I couldn't cope. My nerve was gone. Disgrace. Drunk myself into oblivion last night. Overjoyed for AVB, I like the bloke and he's working hard and taking such a lot of stick for us, so good on him.
My goodness @caterham7!!!!!
You may be a genius you know? Your writing is honestly amazing. Your wife will probably get you arrested soon enough but if you feel anything like I feel today, you will be smiling and singing "cant smile without you" in that dark cell like a deranged jailbird. Your story summarizes all our experiences...well, if you add an ill-advised overdose of heinekens to it :-)
I watched all the way through unable to actually enjoy what was going on, i've been here too many times. It was good to score first at least that wouldn't put an immediate dampener on the evening, enter the Baler 2 up feeling great but still not too excited, as I said I've been here before, with a two goal lead at ht at OT. They score and Nani picks up the ball and purposely strides to the centre circle with that smug cunt look on his face, and that raises my ire. Man U pricks, I actually start looking forward to celebrating the victory. Visited Red Cafe earlier and the general mood was the reverse/ inverse of us, good team but we'll do 'em in the end. It's how it's supposed to be.
3 - 1 do I dare believe, i'll remain composed, 3 - 2 to us. Time ticking on great rearguard action but why oh why can't we hold on to the fucking football. The ball strikes the post, kisses the cross bar and is headed straight to Friedel. I mentally prepare a consolatory speech so that I could deal with the inevitable equalizer, time kept ticking away. Where the fuck did 4mins come from, four fucking minutes, enough time to relive the ghosts of Old Trafford trips, Theatre of Nightmares. Defoe what is he doing just run the ball into the corner, here they come again. Clattenburg starts barking out instructions or maybe it was Ferguson at this point i'm paralysed, shouting but no sound. I have so many ManU supporting mates who just generally took the piss for all my adult life, every year I wished hoped, just once I could shut them to fuck up. AVB is jumping punching something or somebody, that man does wear a suit well, it's over, is it over? WOW we won, I won, Come On You Fucking Spurs. Well done done the boys. Dempsey's first goal is a the winner at Old Trafford, Theatre of Dreams you say oh I understand.
@Caterham7
A nice bunch of Lilies maybe?
Make your own DVD
>>> Hilight
MOTD HIGHLIGHTS – Week 6 – HTTP
http://www.embedupload.com/?d=5LSTFBRCEJ
Credit : Pakman
MOTD – Man Utd v. Tottenham – HIGHLIGHTS – 19 Mins – HTTP
——————————————————————————–
EPL 2012/2013 – Week 6 – 29/09/2012
Match of the Day | ENG | 720×400 , 1280×720
——————————————————————————–
Video: MPEG4 Video (H264) 720×400 , 1280×720 25.00fps [Video]
Audio: MPEG Audio Layer 3 48000Hz stereo [Audio]
——————————————————————————–
Match of the Day | ENG | 720×400
http://hotfile.com/dl/174377635/856fa11/20120929-MAN-TOT-EPL_HS.mkv.html
Match of the Day | ENG | 1280×720
http://hotfile.com/dl/174375042/0f5b487/20120929-MAN-TOT-EPL_H.mkv.html
Credit : Sagopa Kajmer
=================================================================================================
>>> Full Match
29 Sep 2012 – EPL – Manchester United v. Tottenham – English – HTTP
EPL: Manchester United vs. Tottenham Hotspur [1200 kbps], 9-29-2012,
SPORTSNET ONE.
1st Half:
http://www.sharpfile.com/jxvnmphbr8y/Manchester-United-vs.-Tottenham-Hotspur-9-29-2012-1st-Half.wmv.html
2nd Half:
http://www.sharpfile.com/92dqbc7k/Manchester-United-vs.-Tottenham-Hotspur-9-29-2012-2nd-Half.wmv.html
Credit : wigan88
29 Sep 2012 – EPL – Manchester United v. Tottenham – English – HTTP
——————————————————————–
SOURCE: DVB-S ~ FORMAT: XViD ~
AUDIO: MP3 128Kbps ~
VIDEO: 640×368 – 1000Kbps ~
SIZE: 800MB
——————————————————————–
FIRST HALF
INTERCHANGEABLE LINKS
http://www.embedupload.com/?d=3XQNVDFPST
http://www.embedupload.com/?d=6YZCV0FSZO
http://www.embedupload.com/?d=34CIM5CSHH
SINGLE LINK
http://www.embedupload.com/?d=2JACBNQXSA
SECOND HALF
INTERCHANGEABLE LINKS
http://www.embedupload.com/?d=73RCNZUQCS
http://www.embedupload.com/?d=1KQZVHEBWC
http://www.embedupload.com/?d=6AFXMBYRWI
SINGLE LINK
http://www.embedupload.com/?d=2CNSLJNBCJ
Credit : Pakman
I just noticed the 'For you Pedro', Spooky - lovely touch ....... now PLEASE, something more from you, something BIG - to celebrate ........ After all, we just got out of Pergatory!!!
COYS!!
And to repeat what someone else said - PLEASE!!! Can we now have the navy blue shorts back for everything except the European games?
We have run out of superlatives. So good to have all the Spurs fans on this site UNITED for once. To win that game to me is akin to winning a cup final-ok, slight over exaggeration, but you all know where I am coming from.Am floating today and it
is a natural high I assure you.
I'm out today until the evening. Family birthday. Everyone there is Spurs. Should be an enjoyable day.
Match review done, publishing this evening.
COYS
Did someone say mind the gap?
@Mariner - I don't get the bitterness. I don't see why you have to call me smug. I don't understand why United are referred to as cunts by you guys either. You finally won and are happy about it, I get that. Enjoy. The game is over and it has been dissected by all and sundry. You want my take on it? Read my previous post. We were shite in the first half, but thumped you in the second. You had your share of luck, which was overdue. As Evra said after the match - We just didn't deserve to win it based on our first half performance.
To conclude - I didn't consider the match a foregone conclusion unlike you. And I congratulated you after the win. Get over the hate. We aren't Arsenal FFS!
@Ginger - congrats accepted, no bitterness, the actual term was'smug red supporting insight' not calling you smug but hey. Don't want to come over as a dick, so I will say good game and its about time that 'luck' went our way, all the best for the rest of the season.
Why United are referred to as cunts, 'They gave us four minutes [injury time], that's an insult to the game' Sir Alex.
Finally no hatred or victim complex we ain't Liverpool
Mariner - Isn't it obvious what Fergie is doing? He does it all the time to get the media off the team's back following a poor performance. Glad its working though.Remember his rant about Alan Wiley's weight? I'm on the Republik of Mancunia forum and his comments seem to have pissed quite a few our own off as well. He throws the bait, you bite. He's still got it, even at 70!
Even he realizes there's no point harping on the fact that we had at least 1 stonewall penalty turned down. He understands we've had the rub of the green in this particular fixture in the past. If you watch his interview, he's questioned directly about the three penalty shouts (I felt at least two were valid, but hey), yet he shrugs it off and focuses on time added on. Wouldn't it have peeved you more if he complained about the pens? Give the man some credit.
Anyway, was an excellent game. It always is against Spurs. See you back at the Lane in a few months.
@Nothing your manager says peeves me off, it's a performance, as a matter of fact, I would have giggled my ass off no end had he complained, but no the pens were not your short comings. You did not only have the rub of the green in this fixture, some days it was daylight robbery, Dick Turpin would have shuddered. But we got there in the end, you got your just deserts see you for the fixture at the lane and this time don't come and park the bus. I'm sure you'll have enough for Cluj.
LOL@ Parking the bus. You'd better hope we do that and not attack you like we did in the second half. As for daylight robberies, I'll stick to my guns about it being your blinkered subjective view.
@Ginger, if you can have a look at the match on 16.01.2011, yes park the bus.
And I think I heard it all today, a MU fan regarding someone else as blinkered and subjective. You're hilarious. All the best for the rest of the season mate. You're the only lot who don't get it and please don't insult us with what the media says.
I didn't deny we don't park the bus when needed. We beat Barca once by doing that too. Whatever gets the job done and wins us trophies at the end of the day.
Read my comment again. Just saying you'd rather prefer us being on the back foot than attacking you coz you usually crumble when we do.
My comments may be blinkered, but so are yours. Its part of what being a football team's supporter is.
All the best for your season as well.
Two households, both alike in dignity,
In fair N17, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes
A pair of pissed up Spurs fans do the 'GANGNAM' through the streets of Old Trafford.
Just back and like C7 (great read) in the dog house.
AVB you fuckin dark horse you. Moe, spooky, Allan my little frizzy haired gonk - sorry 4 all the shit - wot will be will be but from now on - Gangnam style.
Ps. Think I had a actual mi, well that what my cover story is - you ain't seen me, got it! ?
................ both alike in dignity me old china, both alike in dignity.
Apology accepted but not necessary.
COYAVBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!