I want Mila Kunis
Friday, March 23, 2012 at 10:09PM
2-5
1-3
0-1
1-1
That's one point from four games. If we match that record in our next four games then we'll have two points from eight games. Has an endearing quality that. Feels like it belongs on a t-shirt. Can't quite put my finger on it though. I'm sure I've heard it somewhere before.
Okay, so hand on heart, I really can't be bothered to write a match report for the Chelsea game drowning in the same tactical must-haves and blah yadda ya because thanks to this non-productive run of games I'm having to repeat the same desires I lust for as a supporter from one aftermath to the next. We all know what it is we want from our team. What went missing at the Emirates is still missing four games on. It's sort of got better. Performance wise. Sort of. But the results have not. Not really. And the results are what remain paramount at this juncture of the season as we stare into the blank expression of the run-in. Nothing is quite set in stone yet. Time is still a commodity of worth. Only just.
How have we come to stand on the edge that might lead to either despair or glory?
1) Capitulation. Deserved defeat. Lost.
2) Played well, plenty of possession. Got taught a lesson in how to mug a team. Lost.
3) Disorganised but 'battered' them second half. Lost.
4) Statistically 'battered' them without really ever looking like overwhelming them and actually scoring. Managed to claw back a point from the jaws of defeat. Drew.
It's like a really crappy ground-hog day where you get stuck in the lift alone for hours on end with no means of escape rather than being stuck in the lift for hours on end with a flirty Mila Kunis.
The one repeated necessity that I've cited on a number of occasions during this spell of misery is that we need to somehow rediscover our fluency, our mojo. Be it from individualistic magic or a collective tenacity to dig out the result. Or alternatively, luck. Just a lucky break. Anything. It's not happened in the two games where we expected it to happen. Chelsea away is hardly the best place to hope it will perhaps make a surprise appearance. Because winning there (not as daunting an objective as any of the previous 22 years of mugged off visits) would switch confidence back on and we'll all marvel at how one result can change it all. We'll all scratch our heads as we witness the mentally fragile suddenly reclaim the required guile to once more go forth and conquer. Twenty-two years since we last won there. I know we don't pick our fixture list but sometimes it feels like we do.
I'm under no illusions. Even a below par Chelsea side can cause a below par Spurs side on field headaches. The best cliché that suits this game is 'the team that wants it more will win it'. A draw would be a fine result. A win would be the important result.
Do you feel that? That eerie been here before feeling? I said I couldn't be bothered with a match report and I'm being dragged down by one.
Beyond this game, it's going to the wire, no matter the result on Saturday. Your soul has suffered aplenty in the past few weeks and it will continue to do so for a while yet.
From somewhere deep within, Tottenham Hotspur have to wake the **** up and start playing the way we know they can. The way they know they can. Lose the apologetic shrugs. I don't buy into all this rhetoric about burn out and egos and losing focus. It's the same group of players. Pound for pound the best midfield in the country? Prove it then. Make the season counts for something. Start treating the situation with the type hunger and spirit it deserves.
Christ sake, there I go again. I'm turning into the same match preview for the fifth time in succession. I'm back in the lift. Stuck between floors. The emergency alarm doesn't work. It's ground-hog day and the inevitable conclusion to it will no doubt be waiting for me when the lift plummets down several floors to the basement and I'm left wondering why I ever walked into it in the first place.
This is not a good place to be. There is no Mila Kunis to keep me company. Even if by some miracle she did appear she'd probably morph into Meg from Family Guy. But hold up, I'm not alone any more. It's Harry. Harry Redknapp is in the corner. He's giving an interview about the England job to the lifts broken intercom.
Someone please help me. I need help.
Reader Comments (23)
shut-up meg. COYS
To be honest I think we have totally lost our way and a draw tomorrow would be an outstanding result. At the moment the scum and chelski have found there way and class and we have lost ours , we look like we have never played togeather at the moment no confidence no belief no conviction no style no class no positive results. But still I believe because we are TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR expect the unexpected. COYMFS!!!!
I fucking love Mila Kunis. Fit.
Really hope this is just the beginning of Dear Mila Kunis.
Oh, COYS.
Do you think we can get her in the summer transfer window?
Now you can mind the fucking gap.
I'm sure i've spoken before about the insanity that seems to permeate through everything THFC for as long as I've known them. Nigh on 35 years. I think this current fiasco matches the personality type. This bizarre few weeks in which we as supporters have been made to eat our own identity's again, mainly by Goons, but also mainly by Spurs themourselves. In the name of God which Spurs will turn up tomorrow? Can anyone here truly say? I think we all secretly know we'll lose which means, if we keep it secret, if we close our eyes, we might win.
Sorry,what I meant to say was, fucking come on then you bunch of Chelsea and Arsenal cunts.
Id start her on the wide right..move her in to the middle , by that time doubt there be anything ' left '..and then finish with a lovely dribble for a quality a set-piece !!
Sorry - the football talk has been done to death in the last week and due to the fact that our manager and players are unable to work out where its gone wrong ( for me, us blindingly obvious) or how to turn it around, thought on the basis of your presentation, I'd deflect the predictable ;0
coyfs
Must be depressed .... I cant think of anything positive to say
did i mention bending one right in to her ' goal-mouth ?!' ( have now ) ...
Good to see the gooners shouting their mouths off.
As we all know, luck runs out eventually and if it could just happen to them around about now what a pleasure that would be.
The trouble with the modern game is that there are no more old-fashioned defenders and CF's to ram RVP's and the polish clown's teeth back down there throats but maybe the Spurs shirt buried at the Emirates will work some hocus pocus for us.
Something has to because I can't see the players who apparently couldn't care less who the manager is and don't worry about finishing in the CL places because "it's just a game" show no signs of being able to resurrect our season. I suppose when you have a fortune in the bank and all the material things you could want, playing football is just a chore to be tolerated.
Understanding the fans' passion and pride don't seem to figure very high with our lot unlike when MacKay and Blanchflower were playing and Nicholson was motivating.
Ah well, we can but hope. COYS!
"That's one point from four games. If we match that record in our next four games then we'll have two points from eight games. Has an endearing quality that"
So if Spurs are on one point from 7 games THFC should keep with Harry for the 8th game just to get to a 2 points from 8 games finale. Sounds a bit la la land to me.
After very careful consideration, I have come to the conclusion that Adebayor's legs are made of Silly String!
Not a bad result. Still 5 points ahead of Chelski. But a very tough run-in against some very desperate teams. Come on you Spurs.
Fixtures list looks good, we'll pick up again, no problem.
88 chances on goal in past 4 games. It will click.
That was the performance we needed, if not the result. Measured, with creativity and confidence. Adebayor made the difference form previous games, MOTM for me. Defence still looks shaky, but then they've been rotated so much due to injury Im surprised they know which way the goal is.
Its a mark of how much respect there is for Spurs as a side that they set up to defend. at home. after spurs havent played well in 3 weeks.
I feel a lot more confident about the rest of the season after that.
Adebayor motm? Really. . . ! Sorry but I ain't getting the whole Adebayor luvin, fcuking soooooo hope we dont make his £kazillion a wk loan permanent in the summer. . . I just don't understand how - with those legs of his, legs that go all the way up to his elbows -he can't run. . .! Maybe it's the size of his feet?? Once saw a clown running from a travelers wedding reception, what a fcuking mess. . .
He played very well today, especially in the second half. If we can sign a player that does what he does with holding up the ball and bringing others into play we'll be fine. Just as long as that player doesn't scuff half as many shots at goal.
Mila Kunis is a yiddo
Thought we played well today and I hope Harry persists with Sandro in CM so that he can gel better with the rest of the team.
Harry's tactics were spot on for a change and even our corners missed the first man and were a little more difficult to defend.
Good to see Billy organising things...he wants to be a winner and it shows. Disagree with Tom as Ade showed flashes of real pace today even if Benny couldn't find him with the final ball and some of his control was just pure magic...that run from our penalty area in the first half was brilliant, shame about the cross!
All-in-all a solid performance and we were unlucky not to win.
Swansea next week will present a different challenge given the way they play and we may be better advised to continue with today's tactics even though we are at home.
Nah. . . . For that sort of wedge I'd expect a bit more than a ball-holder-upper -I once read about five monkeys that were placed in a room with a banana at the top of a set of stairs. As one monkey attempted to climb the stairs, all of the monkeys were sprayed with jets of cold water. A second monkey made an attempt and again the monkeys were sprayed. No more monkeys attempted to climb the stairs. One of the monkeys was then removed from the room and replaced with a new monkey. New monkey saw the banana and started to climb the stairs but to its surprise, it was attacked by the other monkeys. Another of the original monkeys was replaced and the newcomer was also attacked when he attempted to climb the stairs. The previous newcomer took part in the punishment with enthusiasm. Replacing a third original monkey with a new one, it headed for the stairs and was attacked as well. Half of the monkeys that attacked him had no idea why. After replacing the fourth and fifth original monkeys, none had ever been sprayed with cold water but all stayed the fcuk away from the GOAL, I mean stairs!
Good post as always Spooky, I thought that we played well enough to have snatched a win today, rather unlucky on a couple of ocassions, the header from Bale was nearly the moment late on but it was not to be. Friedel was by far the less busy of the two keepers which also says a lot. We had to grind out a satisfactory result today and we did. Bolton on Tuesday, no doubt it should be an interesting week ahead. TTID COYS!!