All hail Bale and Bentley
Tuesday, February 9, 2010 at 10:55AM Back due to popular demand (three people emailed me)...
/drum roll
The Fantastical Return of the 'Stupendous Adventures of Bale and Bentley'
Gareth: Hello
David: Alright?
Gareth: How's tricks?
David: I'm playing first team football week in week out.
Gareth: I know. I'm playing too. It's lush.
David: It's amazing! I get to play on the right-wing and the gaffer rates me for it.
Gareth: You think that's good? Can you not hear the noise after I do something special on the pitch?
Gareth/David: BALE, BALE, BALE...
(both laugh)
David: What about me? I get cheered and applauded, even with the facial hair.
Gareth: Hobo chic is in.
David: It's in because of me. I made it 'in'. How did we both manage to turn things around?
Gareth: I don't know. I guess we were both patient, bided our time and got a bit lucky too?
David: It has nothing to do with luck Gareth. It was hard graft. And to think we were both lined up for moves away a few months back.
Gareth: We really got our shit together.
David: We did, our change in fortunes was because we both believed we would overcome the adversity.
Gareth: BALE, BALE, BALE...
David: Give us a hug!
Three months earlier…
Al: Ziggy says the odds are not very good.
Sam: How 'not good' are they?
Al: Oh, you know. They're way down there not good.
Sam: You're not helping Al. What am I meant to do here?
Al: Ziggy had a new data search component installed and we had to have it shipped in from Hong Kong and I think that gave a little jet-lag to its cpu processing chip...
Sam: Why do you make this stuff up all the time? Why don't you just say, 'Sam, we don't know'. Why don't you just do that for once instead of making it all up?
Al: Well, that wouldn't be any fun, would it?
Sam: A little help please.
Al: You sort of look like a half man half chimp cross-breed. Oh, hold on, Ziggy's now 91% sure that you're here to save this man from some kind of voodoo hoodoo curse.
Sam: Great.
Al: And Ziggy's also 98.9% on the money that when you're done with him, you'll be leaping into that man over there to save him from a life wasted living in skips.
Sam: What man?
Al: The one star-jumping and crying profusely.
Sam: Oh boy...
Reader Comments (44)
Between you and Teh Trunk, we are spoilt rotten.
Eh. I see your satire and raise you this:
http://www.football-intelligence.co.uk/what-really-happened-to-john-terry/
I love these 'adventures'.
I don't get it :(
I get it.
I'm showing my age.
I think that pretty much explains how Bale and Bentley have rediscovered their old form. Nail on head.
Ha that's mint, maybe Beckett spent some of the time wooing 'Arry with his piano and singing skills also...
Quantum leap - should be reborn
classic, I'm so glad I found this site, it brightens up my day!
Something else that brightened my day.... pav is back in contention for tomorrows game.
Bentley has been good for a few games. His crossing technique has been very good.
But his lack of pace means defenders have hours to set up to intercept.
Bale's crossing is technically lesser quality but causes opponents more problems because he shifts them out of position with his pace.
While Lennon is out I would stick with Bale on the left bringing width and pace but get Nico back in on the right. He is an intelligent player that can do more for us than DB and he scores goals too.
Finally. Bale should get his own spin off IMO.
'OH BOY'
LMFAO!!
Enjoy Bentley. He'll get all depressive once more when Azza returns to the side and Harry dumps him back to the bench.
Fox Mulder - I reckon most clicking and reading this would think the same.
Lovely work again Spooky, you plagiariser, you! You'll be damned to hell , I tells ya!
That would have made a great episode.
I discovered Spooky's output back in the heady days of the 'Ramos & Comolli out!' period - and to be honest, I wasn't quite sure what to make of it at first.
Now a year and a bit on, this stuff forms an essential part of my week. COYS!
Poor Mr Bentley...................back on the bench in a week or so. He has done ok though.
BALE BALE BALE.
I must say Spooky, I've been reading your blog since early 2008 and you never cease to deliver great content, written in a delightful manner that is light to follow. Forget your sabbatical and keep blogging! I don't know what I would do without this site.
Keep up the great work! COYS!
I don't get it, must be too young. Who are Al and Ziggy?
Damn I didn't know they had Quantum Leap across the pond! That was my fav as a kid. Spot on Spook, priceless.
A bit of education for the youngsters...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quantum_Leap_(TV_series)
Spooky, thank you! Totally unexpected and utterly brilliant.
Who will start against Wolves? Where (or when even!) is Kaboul going to play?
COYS
ooooooooohhhhhhhh it's quantum leap. Ok I get it now.
It's genius
I've signed a season one box-set. It's in the post for you.
Superb.
my cpu is a neural net processor.
/whistles theme tune to Quantum Leap
This is all to much for a mentalist to take in lets hope thy get some more goals.Gggggggrrrrrrrrrrreat
That was hilarious! I'm happy for Bentley and Bale, more so for Bale as injures and because Assou-Ekotto stepped up to make it harder.
Bentley on the other hand has finally realised something, some 18 months after joining. There is a difference in his approach and maybe he is fortunate that Lennon got injured and Kranjcar got sick. I'm hoping he can excel and get beyond the 'Poor David Beckham in his prime' tag and become the player many thought he would be. He has great touch with both feet and just because he doesn't have pace does not mean he can't get beyond defenders. His first touch or movement should get him beyond the opposition and into space.
To be honest I'm just happy for Spurs and that the understudies stepped.
Long may it continue...
Lovin your work Spooks, once again!
You creative genius, it has distracted me from the inevitable pain tha will be a bore draw at best tomorrow as mick plays his strongest team and rests the majority for saturdays non-winnable game aganst the chavs.
DAVSPURS, did you used to be tony the tiger? is that why you're upset? That they replaced you with a steriod addled, younger, buffer, version?
enuff to make ya twitch!
Reckon Bentley will be back on the bench once Lennons fit, but Bale is in the team long term if he continues his current form. And the chances are, he will improve with age.
Having all but written these 2 off before their latest exploits, I cannot help but wonder what might have happened had PAV and GDS been given similar chances in the first team.
Had it not been for injury to other players, Bentley and Bale would still be in the twilight zone, otherwise known as the bench.
Excellent. More more more (to "tune" of Bayall Bayall Bayall)!
Meh, I miss the old star jumping DB... the one who was more concerned with his hair than delivering a good ball.
Of note, I think DB is favoring a "Training Day" Ethan Hawke these days.... more so than the DB of earlier that favored the latest boy band look from 10 years back.
If BAE and Bale were combined into one person, he would be the best, and ugliest fullback in the world.
I'm growing my hair like David Bentley.
"Ziggy says there's a 93.4% chance that you have to get Spurs into the Top 4."
"Guess I'd better get used to it here, then."
"You do that. While you're getting used to being trapped in Harry's body, it's about now that Jamie's missus takes a shower. Catch you later."
bale's always been quality, its just that BAE impressed harry that he diddnt play... didnt wanna upset the team cohesion or some shizzle??
hmmmmm
I think with regards to Bale, Harry adopted the mantra of the 'wolfman' from Pulp fiction ie 'lets not start sucking each other's dicks just yet'. Doesn't quite make sense here but you know what I mean.
Is Tricky Stoney in disguise he seems to be up me arse when i right something this should sniff him out look out for energized 9/10 Micks Boys tonight Tricky.