Jim White's head set to explode. Don't forget to tune in.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011 at 11:39AM Another deadline transfer day. Another opportunity for us all to witness the explosion of Jim White's head on Sky Sports News. We live in hope, however Jim's head appears to be explosion-proof. Unless it explodes off camera after the deadline closes shut. Perhaps Sky have cloned him or in fact he might be an android, which might explain the over the top euphoric emotions when explaining to viewers that someone, possibly of Earth origin, has been seen walking in and around the Chigwell area. Does Jim dream of Harry in a Range Rover?
Still, those of us with the privilege will tune into SSN regardless of the disdain that is sometimes shown towards their passion for yellow-ticking the most mundane content (low-key Prem player is injured for four weeks...let's stick 'breaking news' on the top left-hand corner of the screen and proceed to bang on about it for three hours). Don't forget the massive wide-screen touch-screen that not only displays all the current ITK nonsense doing the rounds but can also display the Surf Report, if 1 foot waves on the coasts of England and Wales is your thang.
Just pretend it's satirical. It turns instantly to genius.
However, today, I'll accept in terms of pure entertainment...they capture the scatter-gun madness of the count-down brilliantly. Reporters outside all the expected-to-be-busy clubs/training facilities, dramatic high voices (go Jim go!), special guest commentators in the studio to give their invaluable predictions and Harry Redknapp in a helicopter (because it's quicker to collect the pizza than it is to wait for the bloke on the delivery moped).
It's epic. It's ridiculous. It's brinkmanship. It's panic. And that's without Sky Sports. With it, parts of your brain might haemorrhage with the overload of anticipation. Mostly always much ado about nothing because we know that sometimes the anticipation is far greater than the pleasure. I mean come on, Sky actually call it 'Deadline Day' like its box office movie. It's in HD and sh*ts gonna happen, Yippee-ki-yay Daniel Levy! Everything is Hollywood baby.
Cue frenzied vocals and snazzy on-screen graphics...
"...right now let's go to Loftus Road, shall we, breaking news, QPR, let's get the latest...Rachel Brookes..."
"Right, well, I can confirm QPR are interested in Craig Bellamy..."
Hmm...Okay then. That's an actual direct quote from this morning.
Talking of breaking news, Harry has already been at it first thing, arriving at The Lodge, leaning out of the window, mic in face. Confirming Modric is not going (1,000,000%) and that Crouchie might be the one to shift out because he's the one in demand. Cahill also on the radar. Hot. Off. Press.
The bad news is, I'm tragically not going to witness the hopeful explosion of Jim White's head this evening. In fact, from around 5pm till gone 10pm I'm going to have to rely on my 3G connection and Twitter. Travelling up to Manchester (to kidknap Adam Johnson). No guarantee that I'll see anything when checking into the hotel either due to commitments. Might well be offline for most of Thursday also unless I can sneak in some interweb time on the sly. I'm sure Twitter will rescue me. Although judging by the way journalists and fans (and Tom Huddlestone and Danny Rose) are currently sharing/discussing protracted transfers, its an even bigger mess of hype than Sky Sports News.
I guess, it's not that important what happens leading up to it, in the build up because it's what happens right at the end that matters most. Hold on, why am I talking about sex?
So what of the transfers?
I guess brinkmanship is the reason so many clubs wait until the final day. The selling club hoping for that extra million or two from the panicking buying club and the buying club hoping the selling club panic and sell on the cheap. We can only guess that the reason we've waited until the last minute to sign Scott Parker is because we've spent the best part of a month and a half attempting to sign Diarra. Hardly decisive, are we? Seems every player we lust after requires a minimum 6 weeks of flirting before we know whether we're going to capture their signature or not. If we were talking about sex, Tottenham would last all night making gentle love, but never reaching a climax. Here's hoping Daniel Levy is good with his hands.
When using the fax machine. I'm talking football again.
Parker, Cahill + one other player (another forward or perhaps one that can double up and play right-wing/midfield, you know, like that Ruiz fella who has signed for Fulham) would be a good solid final day. When our injured warriors are back, we'll have a beastly team. The question at that point will be whether Harry works out a consistent cohesive formation for them to fit into. Let's not forget, we've signed Adebayor. He'll make a monumental difference up front.
Parker, bless him, handing in a transfer request just for show to appease the Green Street faithful (Big Sam preferring Nolan, porn barons not wanting too lose too much face). He'll fix one issue (engine in midfield, leadership). Although he has plenty to prove once he wears the Lilywhite. Still worry that he excels in average teams and struggles in decent ones...on hold up, he'll be perfect for us then! lolololol and so on.
Other targets? Diarra is still being linked. Bellamy (he's being linked to everyone). Leandro Damião da Silva dos Santos? Not a chance in this window. Yossi Benayoun? Joe Cole? I hope not. Gignac
is being linked to Fulham. Cheeky bid? And Mario Ballotelli's profile has been removed from Man City's official player profile page, so nailed on medical at The Lodge due in 3...2...1...
Everyone wants a van der Vaart Part II last second special from the chairman. You know, just without the excess weight and injury plights.
As for players out? Other than Crouch, Pav is whoring himself again. Jenas to QPR is much touted but would be shocked to see it happen. Bentley won't move on as nobody will pay the £30M Levy wants for him. Hutton, you'd hope someone would take the plunge. As for Gomes, do not believe we'd be stupid enough to loan him out. Bassong might form part of a swap deal for Cahill (do swap deals still happen?). Anyone want to save Niko from central midfield? One thing looks certain at the time of writing, dos Santos looks to be anchored to us once again.
Hold onto ya hats then.
It's a massive day for Harry Redknapp and Daniel Levy. Today will define just how good of a squad Tottenham Hotspur will have in Football Manager 2012.
COYS.
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Reader Comments (76)
Huddlestone's just joining in with the wind-ups.....
Parker, Ade, Cahill would do me tbh. Think Parker might turn out to be an awesome signing, certainly different to anyone we have had in the middle for a long time. Glad to see he's had a hair cut as he trotts like a poney when he runs already.
If we pull of a rossi then I will be a happy YID : )
Seriously, the shedding of deadwood hasn't been addressed for years!
Jenas and Bentley are nowhere near getting a game, yet they are still here after god knows how many transfer windows.
I can't help but think that Levy is asking for far too much for fringe players, pricing them out of a move.
If we shifted them, we might be able to afford the kind of wages to attract a higher quality of player....
Hudd was probably just shocked Luka showed up for work today.
DC - true, except he's in Croatia on international duty.....
So are Bulgaria on international duty at the moment ?
wheres inside WHL ?
Balotelli is still on the Man City website???????
This is no way to run a football club. Or anything else for that matter.
It is almost like Harry is doing a last minute tour of all the second hand shops.
The only glimmer of light was a Chelsea blog that hoped Drogba would not be included in any Modric deal. Thankfully I can agree with that.
I think the cover has been blown for who sneaked in the back door (ahem):
New defender signs
Balotelli's profile was down earlier this morning, but it's back up now.
I think that twit was a fake as the account has been removed.
it's a massive day for the fax machine! Didn't we have problems signing Charlie Adam due to the owners enjoying a chip bap on Blackpool pleasure beach, and not too distant past "missed out?" on Kevin Doyle as nobody picked up the phone/fax? In a world where Twitter can cause a storm in minutes, "guess who's in the arrivals lounge at Luton......", but Spurs miss out on deals by FAX. I bet they still use that thermal paper that fades off after a while, a bit like Rafa.....
Parker deal has been completed at last.
My money is on him breaking a leg against Bulgaria or Wales now.......
I don't think it's a case of Bentley et al being priced out of moves, I think it's more of a case (especially with Bentley) that other clubs - the type of clubs who would be interested in him - just won't (or aren't able) to pay his wages. Meanwhile he can#t be arsed even playing football anyway and is content to sit tight and pick up his however much every month....probably 50k or something.
i just hope Harry gets Sandro straight back in the team when he's fit. i think Parker is an upgrade on Palacios but Sandro is top draw.
Ade + Parker are very good additions. But there are still too many squad players nowhere near the first team and if Ade gets crocked we are back to the toothless strike force we started with. So some good but more to do to. Cahill and Bellamy in plus shifting a bunch would be better.
Bentley has gone to the Wet Spam on loan..... Crouch has joined Stoke.
I still think we've got another striker coming in!
@Mubarak's Mum
A qualified guess would be - having Electro-Convulsive Therapy!!
given the potential excitment and the prospect of a night of opportunities landed, why do I get the distinct feeling that tomorrow is going to feel more like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpOdCWaTsIk
Exciting.
I'm looking forward more to the ginger sponge and custard
Mrs. JimmyG2 has made for afters than I am to watching Parker plod grimly through the rest of the season.
If he has signed he has of course my full support.
Most dispiriting transfer window since the last one.
Although there's still 5hrs to go so anything can happen
although it probably wont.
Messi seen on a plane but heading in totally the wrong direction
unless he's going the long way round to WHL.
Once again we're being told that there's a BIG signing to be announced at the last minute.....
And it's not Cahill!
"Most dispiriting transfer window since the last one."
Ha! Classic!
Holy fuck
Defoe/Pav cannot score in the league and neither can partner VDV.
So at present our entire striker options rest on Adebayor.
We can't be leaving it like that can we?
heard its kaka on season long loan would explain thudd saying wow dont you think
Harry on SSN saying no more deals for players coming in.
Cahill deal collapsed and Bassong staying as a result.
Surely we can't be relying on Defoe/Pav/Adebayor for the rest of the season?!?
With VdV injured we're back to 4-4-2 so we MUST have 4 strikers available...
he didnt seem to know about vdv did he lets hope levys got another ace up his sleeve
well....ohara (5) - palacios (8m) -hutton (4m) - crouch (11) - = 28m
and off wage bill...keane...bentley..possibly jenas...
we are either gonna pay cash up front for the NDP ground..or our new manager will have a stack to spend in january...................
lets hope no injuries to adebayor or we in big trouble....
o well chin up everyone...it could be worse....we could be everton....
Had to chuckle at the Stoke fan shaking his head in disbelief when Sky reporter announced Palacios for £8 million.
walkerboy - saw it....cracked up...
It was topped by the goofy lad with crooked glasses when they went back later on....
Levy is a stupid fucking Cunt
Heroin anyone?
Levy has set out his stall to justify sacking Harry.
Even a dumb sh*t like Levy can see that this squad cannot compete for anything other than mid-table mediocrity, and when the bottom 3 place is confirmed after the next few games he will do what he always does and sack the manager.
Of course those who think that Harry is the cause of all our problems probably think that the new man will mold this current squad into world-beaters, but of course he won't be able to unless new players are bought.
So, fuck off Levy you useless dickhead.
With the poor track record of Spurs training staff it looks like we'll get to see some youth players in Premier League matches as well as in Europa.
Getting shot of Crouch: best bit of business of the entire window.
Redknapp should be able to keep us up this season; it's what he's best at, remember?
At least the new manager will be backed, and we've got rid of that gormless prick, Crouch.
Season has officially been written off by the chairman.
There better be an announcement on the newly viable NDP imminently.
Thats it, all gone home, switch off the light and close the door levy please.
Hope the Crouch deal has not gone through myself. They were all poor but no combination of VDV/Pav/Gio/Defoe is likely to work and at least he Crouch/VDV partnership provided us with some goals.
What's the difference between Spurs fans and puppies? After a couple of weeks, puppies will quit whining...
Feck, I've never seen such a bunch of ungrateful, sackless, glory-hounds. Personally, I don't see how this transfer window could be seen as anything but a smashing success. At the beginning of the summer, our avowed goals were:
1. retain Modric
2. add a world class striker
3. add a defensive/holding midfielder (esp. after Sandro’s injury)
4. upgrade at CB if possible
5. upgrade at GK if possible
Ok, let's review. At the end of the window, WE HAVE MODRIC!!, a new GK (for free), a striker who scored 2 at WHL while knocking us out of the CL for Real Madrid (with someone else paying half his wages), the last year's PL POY at midfield (5m) and a who's who of mediocrity on the way out (Keane, Crouch, Palacios, Hutton, Bentley and Jenas). Let me repeat that. Keane. Crouch. Bentley. And Jenas. Are no longer with us. I feel like running through the streets crying. I'm not sure I was this happy since my wedding day (take that however you like...) Yeah, we got off to a rocky start this year. Did anyone catch how the Arse are doing? How about Chelsea? They haven't looked world beaters, and that's against the league dross, not exactly the hydra from Manchester that laid us to waste. So, in order for this season to be a success, all we have to do is compete with the likes of Chelsea, Liverpool and Arsenal with essentially the same squad that got us into the CL quarterfinals, minus a bunch of deadweight and with the addition of a top quality striker and midfielder. You bunch of moaners (you know who you are) ought to be ashamed of yourselves. You’re not fit to sniff Levy's jock. Sorry for the rant spooky, but I can only take so much. Come on you f**king Spurs!
We sell Crouch, Palacios, Hutton, Keane, O'Hara for 30mio. We loan out Bentley, Jenas, Bongani, Caulkner, Naughton (to mostly premiership games). We release Woodgate. That's about 400k a week off the wage bill. On the other hand, we buy Parker (5.5mio), loan Adebayor, and get Friedel in on a free. That's a net of 24.5mio and I estimate that we're shaving 250k off the payroll.
So it looks like our 25: GK: Gomes, Friedel, Cudicini *** Defense: Dawson, King, Gallas, Bassong, Kaboul, Corluka, BAE, Rose *** Midfield: Sandro, Parker, Huddlestone, Pienaar, Krancjar, Livermore, Lennon, Bale, Modric Strikers: Adebayor, VdV, Defoe, Pav, Dos Santos ** Walker, Townsend, Kane all don't need to be registered.
On the plus side, Modric stays, we got a pretty good striker (premiership proven) in Adebayor (even if its just on loan), Parker is an upgrade over Palacios, and Friedel is that steady pair of hands we wanted. We cleared some deadwood (Keane, Hutton). Given the amount of games, Defoe & Pav will get the games they need to sink or swim. Dos Santos should see a fair amount of games as well as he's still with the club. I reckon he will be quite useful in Europe and perhaps we can either get him to deliver his promise he shows in Mexico or showcase him out to other clubs.
The disappointing thing, I believe, is that we were unable to get Cahill who would have formed a good combination at the back with Dawson for the next few years. That lack of stability at the back is tough. Gallas and King injured already and I believe Kaboul is better at RB or even as an anchor man in midfield. Also, wouldn't have minded seeing another striker come in. However, given how big our squad still is, there is clearly more wood to chop in the summer and we should have bullets to shape the team then and the following summer.
I do wonder whether another reason Cahill or Dimaio, etc etc.. we're brought in because Levy didn't want to give the cash to Harry.
Apart from lacking in defence (Cahill) I'm pretty happy with it all really.
Glad Gio didn't go, add him to the stirkeforce and slowly bed in Kane and we'll be ok.
Everyone seems to be forgetting Falque too. He's got to be wing competition for Lennon, surely!
Oh I forgot to add. If Ruiz is a fucking success at Fulham I'm going to be PISSED!
Wish Spurs would have gotten someone for cover at CB, I guess Corluka can play there in a pinch but King shouldn't even count as someone to be counted on, and Gallas is injury prone. I think most weeks the choices are going to be Dawson, Kaboul, Bassong. This isn't enough to cover three cup competitions and the league.
I'd just like to say this......
Well done Levy.........I said well done Levy! We grew up last night and nobody noticed!! Nobody!! We turned down 40 million crispy pleasurables and made our position clear - We don't need to sell (unless it's to pay for Luka's wages) cough!!
Hopefully the next time one of our lot decides he/she wants to leave, the only way out from here on in is suicide...... don't get much better than that...
would have liked some more players , Cahill and Ruiz being the desired targets
But as some people said , got a new GK , retained (regained is more like it) Modric , got Ade and shifted out the ones we did not like
Well done no ? All in all we still have our top class players and added at least one potential top class
I'll write about it on Friday in the next blog, but it's obvious.
Next manager in will have a war chest. Redknapp, last rites.
Minutes silence.
If it is true that we at the Chels bid £40million for Modric and it was turned down all we can say is:
‘THANK YOU, THANK YOU DANIEL LEVY………… YOU MUG!’.
Don't bother feeding the lame duck.