Jim White's head set to explode. Don't forget to tune in.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011 at 11:39AM Another deadline transfer day. Another opportunity for us all to witness the explosion of Jim White's head on Sky Sports News. We live in hope, however Jim's head appears to be explosion-proof. Unless it explodes off camera after the deadline closes shut. Perhaps Sky have cloned him or in fact he might be an android, which might explain the over the top euphoric emotions when explaining to viewers that someone, possibly of Earth origin, has been seen walking in and around the Chigwell area. Does Jim dream of Harry in a Range Rover?
Still, those of us with the privilege will tune into SSN regardless of the disdain that is sometimes shown towards their passion for yellow-ticking the most mundane content (low-key Prem player is injured for four weeks...let's stick 'breaking news' on the top left-hand corner of the screen and proceed to bang on about it for three hours). Don't forget the massive wide-screen touch-screen that not only displays all the current ITK nonsense doing the rounds but can also display the Surf Report, if 1 foot waves on the coasts of England and Wales is your thang.
Just pretend it's satirical. It turns instantly to genius.
However, today, I'll accept in terms of pure entertainment...they capture the scatter-gun madness of the count-down brilliantly. Reporters outside all the expected-to-be-busy clubs/training facilities, dramatic high voices (go Jim go!), special guest commentators in the studio to give their invaluable predictions and Harry Redknapp in a helicopter (because it's quicker to collect the pizza than it is to wait for the bloke on the delivery moped).
It's epic. It's ridiculous. It's brinkmanship. It's panic. And that's without Sky Sports. With it, parts of your brain might haemorrhage with the overload of anticipation. Mostly always much ado about nothing because we know that sometimes the anticipation is far greater than the pleasure. I mean come on, Sky actually call it 'Deadline Day' like its box office movie. It's in HD and sh*ts gonna happen, Yippee-ki-yay Daniel Levy! Everything is Hollywood baby.
Cue frenzied vocals and snazzy on-screen graphics...
"...right now let's go to Loftus Road, shall we, breaking news, QPR, let's get the latest...Rachel Brookes..."
"Right, well, I can confirm QPR are interested in Craig Bellamy..."
Hmm...Okay then. That's an actual direct quote from this morning.
Talking of breaking news, Harry has already been at it first thing, arriving at The Lodge, leaning out of the window, mic in face. Confirming Modric is not going (1,000,000%) and that Crouchie might be the one to shift out because he's the one in demand. Cahill also on the radar. Hot. Off. Press.
The bad news is, I'm tragically not going to witness the hopeful explosion of Jim White's head this evening. In fact, from around 5pm till gone 10pm I'm going to have to rely on my 3G connection and Twitter. Travelling up to Manchester (to kidknap Adam Johnson). No guarantee that I'll see anything when checking into the hotel either due to commitments. Might well be offline for most of Thursday also unless I can sneak in some interweb time on the sly. I'm sure Twitter will rescue me. Although judging by the way journalists and fans (and Tom Huddlestone and Danny Rose) are currently sharing/discussing protracted transfers, its an even bigger mess of hype than Sky Sports News.
I guess, it's not that important what happens leading up to it, in the build up because it's what happens right at the end that matters most. Hold on, why am I talking about sex?
So what of the transfers?
I guess brinkmanship is the reason so many clubs wait until the final day. The selling club hoping for that extra million or two from the panicking buying club and the buying club hoping the selling club panic and sell on the cheap. We can only guess that the reason we've waited until the last minute to sign Scott Parker is because we've spent the best part of a month and a half attempting to sign Diarra. Hardly decisive, are we? Seems every player we lust after requires a minimum 6 weeks of flirting before we know whether we're going to capture their signature or not. If we were talking about sex, Tottenham would last all night making gentle love, but never reaching a climax. Here's hoping Daniel Levy is good with his hands.
When using the fax machine. I'm talking football again.
Parker, Cahill + one other player (another forward or perhaps one that can double up and play right-wing/midfield, you know, like that Ruiz fella who has signed for Fulham) would be a good solid final day. When our injured warriors are back, we'll have a beastly team. The question at that point will be whether Harry works out a consistent cohesive formation for them to fit into. Let's not forget, we've signed Adebayor. He'll make a monumental difference up front.
Parker, bless him, handing in a transfer request just for show to appease the Green Street faithful (Big Sam preferring Nolan, porn barons not wanting too lose too much face). He'll fix one issue (engine in midfield, leadership). Although he has plenty to prove once he wears the Lilywhite. Still worry that he excels in average teams and struggles in decent ones...on hold up, he'll be perfect for us then! lolololol and so on.
Other targets? Diarra is still being linked. Bellamy (he's being linked to everyone). Leandro Damião da Silva dos Santos? Not a chance in this window. Yossi Benayoun? Joe Cole? I hope not. Gignac
is being linked to Fulham. Cheeky bid? And Mario Ballotelli's profile has been removed from Man City's official player profile page, so nailed on medical at The Lodge due in 3...2...1...
Everyone wants a van der Vaart Part II last second special from the chairman. You know, just without the excess weight and injury plights.
As for players out? Other than Crouch, Pav is whoring himself again. Jenas to QPR is much touted but would be shocked to see it happen. Bentley won't move on as nobody will pay the £30M Levy wants for him. Hutton, you'd hope someone would take the plunge. As for Gomes, do not believe we'd be stupid enough to loan him out. Bassong might form part of a swap deal for Cahill (do swap deals still happen?). Anyone want to save Niko from central midfield? One thing looks certain at the time of writing, dos Santos looks to be anchored to us once again.
Hold onto ya hats then.
It's a massive day for Harry Redknapp and Daniel Levy. Today will define just how good of a squad Tottenham Hotspur will have in Football Manager 2012.
COYS.
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Reader Comments (76)
The big club said no to the little club.
Deal with it.
Not the Hollywood action filled transfer deadline day I hoped for, but it's all good. As said earlier, we shed some of the dead weight and got us some upgrades on the positions that needed the upgrade. We won't be challenging for the title, but we should be able to hold our position as a serious challenger for the 4th spot.
Have to agree with you about next manager's war-chest, Redknapp's time is almost over.
I am pleased. getting 10-12 mill for a striker that don't score is just incredible.
all the players labelled as dead wood have gone.
upgrades in Ade and Parker.
money in the bank and a huge saving on the wage bill.
squad looks lean and mean and ready to be tweaked by the new manager in Jan.
I think all of us were waiting for the one big signing at the end of the window, maybe we have changed, we got our business done early this time...
If we had signed Friedel, Parker and Adebayor with 5 minutes to go, and in the process told Chelsea to do one Re: Modric, i think the perception of the success of this transfer window would have been different.
Not to mention the clearing of the deadwood.
Alright everyone, I've not posted for yonks but I have been reading. I'm posting today thought to echo the sentiments of previous posters regarding Levy's refusal to sell Modric at any cost.
I understand the arguments around unsettled players and poison and team morale and all of that of course.
However, there was a bigger issue at stake here and an example that had to be made. Should Modric have gone for £40 million last night, the green light that has been on since Carrick, would've remained on for Bale, Van der Vaart and any other players that rise to prominence at Spurs over the next few years. The Modric ultimatum has demonstrated to all current and future Tottenham players that if you're planning on using us as a stepping stone, shop window job for the 'big clubs', then it aint gonna work so dont be signing the big contracts, put your cards on the table so we know where we stand from day 1 and can use you in the same way you intend to use us, or not use you at all.
Perhaps also this saga will send a clear message to the tapper uppers that there's really no point. I reckon the dragging on of this one has unsettled Chelski's pre season as well as our own.
In addition, this also reinforces the position of Levy as a man of his word. He's made Harry look like a right tit. I think we all know which one of the two has Spurs best interests at heart. Its clear to the entire playing and other staff that Levy is in charge and not one to be messed about.
This can only be good for THFC.
As for the lack of superstars in last night, I'm quite happy with Ade and Parker. Would've liked a Cahill, but there we are. I think we'll be alright between Gallas, Ledley, Dawson etc as the season progresses, but we will have to strengthen here sooner or later.
Good work Mr Levy and good work Dear Mr Levy.
Good day.
and another thing. Levy's stand may well put off any future Modricatovs who fancy climbing all over us to get to the promised land, but I say GOOD.
Fighting it out with the goons for 5th, it makes me feel all nostalgic just at the thought. Roll on the 1st NLD when the 'battle for mediocrity begins'.
As an aside, it would make sense to trim the squad before changing the manager. Might yet give a few more of our youth team a fighting chance, townsend and livermore must be relishing the prospect of breakig into the 1st team.
However, there is one player who has gone unmentioned in all of the comings and goings, what of GDS? Did I miss something? 4th striker perhaps after all? Or loan out to championship team again?
We have a squad of players with huge potential. Hopefully the next step from D Levy is the removal of H Redknapp and his coaching staff.
David Moyes to replace Redknapp next summer. YHIHF.
Moyes has done well with Everton, and with a bit of money to spend who knows what he could do. Plus, he's not got a bad record with bringing through the youth up at Everton either, so with a bit of experience under their belts this season in Europe and the Carling cup the youth players who are currently coming through could provide a very real element of the squad both this year and even more so next. Combine that with some signings, and trimming even more dead wood and the future could look rosy.
On Adebayor, yes he can be a good striker on his day, but my main worry is how motivated he will be. If the answer is very, then he could be a real big difference this season, but if he doesn't quite man up about it then I'm a tad worried we might have too many eggs in the "Adebayor scoring loads of goals" basket.
Just to add....Cahill's price was bOnkERS - so good on Levy......again!!
Have to agree that Bolton took the piss with Cahill.
I agree Levy has done right not paying ridiculously over the odds for Cahill, but in the process it has probably damaged our chances of getting him in the long term.
Come January or next summer I expect Spurs, Arsenal, Liverpool and Chelsea to be in for him, and maybe some big clubs from abroad too.
Bolton have done themselves out of £10 million by asking for too much for a player who can now leave for free in 12 months time. Is that right (or is he still young enough to mean a fee has to be involved even if the contract has gone?).
Levy can go fuck himself, he tried to push us through the champions league on the cheap and fucked up last seasons champs league qualification, and the little Cunt is still trying to cheap his way through this season, cahill should have been bought and we desperately need a quality defender, we have the money so why not, someone else will now take him. Levy you are a moronic Cunt of the highest order.
@Ossies dream
There's a very old saying which go's 'You can please some of the people some of the time, but you cunt........ Can't you see what's going on here?!?! Levy's played a blinder and he's worked out what twitch means what!
Word is he told Crouch to feck off of die in the reserves - Harry been rumbled fella
Tom you're dead right, Arry wanted to keep 'Crouchy' one of his faves. Levy saw through this and told him to do one. Levy is in charge and it must drive Harry nuts, which is fookin great..
To clear up any doubts over Adebayor's motivation I'd just say that this is a "contract year" for him.
He is out of contract in the summer and therefore his performance this year will ultimately determine the value of his next (probably last) contract.
I'd reckon that will be enough to provide suitable motivation.
Jenas OUT
Crouch OUT
Hutton OUT
Bentley OUT
Keane OUT
What is there not to like?
Damn you Starsky
‘THANK YOU, THANK YOU DANIEL LEVY………… YOU MUG!’.
Who is the mug? The one who kept his word? Or the trappy little spoilt brats who couldn't shut their mouths and didn't get their own way?
Good luck levy you Cunt with this squad this year, not a chance we will finish 4th with this lot. Levy had the opportunity of a lifetime last summer to build but chose not to and he fucked it and now here we are, average squad. One day levy won't be at White Hart lane
Ossie fuck off mate, Harry ain't spurs he's always been his own man at least Levy does what he does for the benefit of spurs (even if it's so he makes a profit), we are on the up fella, don't keep trying to drag us all down to the level of your knuckles you sound like a proper hammers fan wum
Levy couldn't give a fuck about spurs or football, he'd be just as happy running any company that turns him a profit.
Dear Daniel I hope you fuck off and go manage some investment banking firm in the city where you belong you little shit.
Sorry, I just can't get remotely excited about this. After all the endless tail chasing for 3 months, we find ourselves with Scott Parker and a borrowed striker with a pisspoor attitude.
If the "war chest for next manager" theory is right, then I'm on the edge of my seat wondering whereabouts between 5th and 8th we'll finish.
Whoopeedoo.
This is it, though, the future of the EPL. Finishing fourth is the new EPL title. Forget 1-3, thanks to the insanity of top top wages you're locked out for good. Manu U, Man C, Chelsea, and The Rest.
I wonder who will win the SPL this year, Celtic or Rangers? How exciting.
I mentioned to someone at the weekend that the bizare results served only to demonstrate the begining of hte end of hte EPL, in favour of a european superleague.
The logic being that in order to fund the financial fair play it will need greater revnue, the only way to do that is to collate more money for the top tier.
Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the begining of the end. It won't happen over night but for some people, the next ten years can't come quick enough.
Ossies Dream is correct, Levy and ENIC are treating the fans like the mugs most of them are.
How long did it take us to qualify for the CL? What did he do when we finally got there?
Diddly fucking squat!
Levy's idea of 'to dare is to do' is to back his financial spread sheet up only once.
Saying that, I actually agree with his writing this season off. Redknapp lucked out in the year we finished 4th, and is not capable of repeating it even with a number of 'star' signings. We'll finish about 8th.