How to survive 90 minutes of football and win by Tottenham Hotspur
Monday, November 7, 2011 at 1:18PM Hello. I’m Tottenham Hotspur. You might remember me from such classics as ‘Comolli doesn’t live here anymore’, ‘Tommy Huddlestone’s neck is missing’, ‘The Crosstrabulous Flaptraption of Heurelho da Silva Gomes’ and ‘Dial R for Ramosnessness’.
Today I’m here to present to you how to win a game of football when attempting to do your very best to lose it. In order to produce this paradox you first need to set the foundations. Then build on it. Then take a step back to watch it crumble. But don't fret. It’s all just an illusion, an elaborate plan to trick. The Prestige being that the false sense of security is nothing but a trapdoor for the unsuspecting opposition.
Do not mistake this for anything less than it is; an art form.
Part I – The Classic away game performance (45 minute version)
A false sense of security
Away from home at a ground where league wins are rare (one since 2002), there is no shame in playing a game of containment. Onus is always on the home side to take the initiative. Start the game with assured confidence, movement and patience. Counter attack with intent and be clinical with chances presented.
Momentum
With the possibility of claiming another win and thus 22 from 24 points, go into the break 2-0 up practically cementing continuation of good form. Do so with devastating elegance. For example:
1-0 Delicious cross field pass from a forward (Ade) in a deep position, into space for marauding right-back (Walker) to run onto, beat a player and cut back to a winger (Lennon) who then plays a tantalising ball across the penalty area to be smashed in (Bale) via a defenders body. Punishing.
2-0 Sublime flick from winger (Bale) to winger (Lennon) sharing flank and space, who proceeds to dazzle and dink into the penalty area finishing superbly. What a fantastic run.
Half-time positivity
Go into the interval with the knowledge that similar control of the second half in terms of patience and composed work ethic will head towards a killer third goal and potentially a comfortable win. If the home side step it up a notch, then a two goal cushion leans towards a tactical sacrifice and the possible substitution of Sandro on so that the midfield is armed and equipped to battle.
example footnotes:
Is that the much maligned wingers-swapping-wings ideology that Redknapp has been scorned for? Not quite. Inter-changing is altogether a different beast and it appears to have awakened the sleeping giant in the small frame of Aaron Lennon. He might spend parts of the game on the outside looking in, but when he comes alive he produces assists/goals. Ade, the non-scoring forward, an almost false position on the pitch, coming deep to collect the ball. Parker, the engine that continues to drive us forward. Luka effective in silent mode helping out offensively and defensively. Only downside is Rafa who left his magic boots at home.
Part II – Doing the exact opposite of what is required to preserve the lead
The ‘second-half lapse’ to avoid at all costs
Conceding an opposition goal just after the half re-starts or within 10 minutes must be avoided.
Opening 10 minutes of second-half
Opposition fail to score a goal early in the second half. We score it for them. i.e. With all the shot-stopping and defence splitting passes, when we do concede always make sure it’s a goal birthed from a mistake. The more untidy, the better.
Begin process of regression
The one trait missing from the THFC genetic make-up is bossing a game out. That’s either home or away, when the opposition are plucky or fired-up from a position of defeat. Retain possession, adapt in midfield to counter any problems that a renewed home side might present. Do not sit back and soak up pressure like a sponge the size of North London.
Regress
Soak up pressure like a sponge the size of North London.
Regression complete
Continue to allow home side to attack with little reply. Ask your forty year old goalkeeper to move about a bit between the sticks. Pray. Lose your composure and allow the home side to rain down on goal with shots on target. Surrender possession in the absence of blindfolds.
When making the first substitution do not bring on Sandro. When making the second substitution wait until the supporters have chewed through their nails and have bitten into their flesh and have teeth touch bone, then bring on Sandro.
Beckon the equaliser
Contentious handball incident + a goalmouth scramble, all good ways to ruin your day. But continue to defy the inevitable by having one of the smallest men on the pitch clear off the line.
Part III – Pull the panties off Lady Luck with your teeth, then give her a cheeky love bite
Winning by doing as little as possible to win, except score again and not concede which happens to be the two things you need to do to win
As Fulham perceiver with their attempted redemption having been out-thought in the first half by dominating the second, allow another example of this brave new Spurs world to shine through. Counter and score, but make sure it’s deflected in just for good ironic measure. A gentle reminder to the hosts that if you’re:
a) Not going to take your chances
b) Fail to capitalise on retaining pressure in the midfield (and suffocate us from regaining any foothold in midfield)
c) Make substitutions that were not required
d) Have 31 shots on goal compared to nine
You’re going to get bitch slapped for your lack of bastardality. In addition, dry your eyes out if one of our players hugs the ball when earlier one of your players pushed one of ours to the ground.
Win the game 3-1 even with your manager not present to prove he can win games without even turning up. He might have hair but we don’t care, Harry Harry Redknapp.
Part IV – Post-match rhetoric and analysis
Deserved/Undeserved/Jekyll/Hyde
The cliché that the Spurs of old would have lost this should be mentioned, preferably a dozen times in conversation post-match per supporter. Spurs have moved on from that particular revision to one with a far more vibrant template for success. We still don’t boss games we should be bossing but winning ugly or when sustaining constant pressure...these are the ilk of games that other teams end up losing and only a few ever get to win. That Spurs team of old, for example would have been far more prone to a capitulation with a sorry air of familiarly and apologetic head shaking.
So when you add the deserved wins with the undeserved wins you continue to redefine the template to prove that if you win, regardless of the manner, you deserve it (unless you cheated). Lucky points equate to a knack of being able to survive when most expect to see you roll over and die. But then how lucky do you have to be to score three goals away from home? Lucky Efficient Tottenham.
It might not tell us much when it happens in isolation but if it forms part of a renewed attitude in the midst of a run of undefeated performances, then embrace it. Winners win even when they’re not meant to. Do it regularly and it becomes second nature. Dare I say you will the win towards your chest and out of the reach of the opposing side.
Allowing the opposition to pass the ball and pressure is just dandy when you are solid at the back but not so much when you are not and still continue to invite them forward time and time again. Shape might have been lost, questions relating to player conditioning (physically and mentally) and lack of deceive astuteness of required shrewd tactical changes still remain answered. But the momentum survives intact and belief further consolidated even if we rode our luck thanks to spirit and fortitude.
Roll with the punches.
Conclusion
I am Tottenham. Three league defeats since April.
I am Tottenham. Gritty.
I am Tottenham. The easy way is no fun.
I am Tottenham. I have gone through puberty. I’ve grown a forest of hair and have now shaved my balls and studded my cock.
Hard even when limp. You don’t want me in your face.
That's how to survive 90 minutes and come out on top. Remember, don’t try this at home. Unless you’re playing newly promoted sides and want to prove your fertility for point accumulation.
Reader Comments (34)
"i am Tottenham. Three league defeats since April. I am Tottenham. Gritty. I am Tottenham. The easy way is no fun. I am Tottenham. I have gone through puberty. I’ve grown a forest of hair and have now shaved my balls and studded my cock. Hard even when limp. You don’t want me in your face." COYS !!!! amazing stuff spooky !!
First person to mention that winning ugly is the sign of a good team gets a slap.
Playing badly regardless of result should be avoided.
Any other day we'd have probably walked away losing 17-3
That said, what a day and what a game, i think it aged me 10 years, but thats par for the course wth Spurs.
As opposed to playing badly most of the time and always losing?
;)
Totally agree. Winning this way and be happy is peppering the cracks. You would have thought we were the team not properly rested from Europa exertion. Joe Jordan post match interview is worrying. We can't expect to win playing silky football all the time.Thats true. But it doesn't meant we should be happy with lacklustre, desparate display and defending on the edge of our seats. Good teams do win not playing well SOMETIMES. But this kind of pattern is happening too often. Not bossing games when we are in a comfortable position. Harry or not, its a habit too glaring to ignore
That Lennon guy - what does he add to the team anyway? Just sits out there on the chalk and watches Walker, etc fail to pass to him. Other than 3 assists and 1 goal in 2 games, I mean.
spooky you never fail to amaze with your blog which always gets better. You have a superb viewpoint on football. I dont always agree but alot of the time having read your thoughts and opinions you make me realise how wrong I can be at times.
This was a brilliant read !!! Much better after the fact !!! I'd much rather win than lose well - sorry I lost ages ago ! It was pleasing to hear Andy gray moan about us again - using the same points to criticize us as he used to criticize that we didn't have much of... he even accused Thudd and Dawson disappearing ???!!!.... somethings never change... it hurts the media so much to see the table and the current standings.... well done Spooky and COYMS!!!!! Get well soon Harry!
Fact is, as cited by many of us, we sit back and when things don't go too well sometimes we fail to do anything about it. I don't think this is a major issue to the extent we'd like to believe it to be (if you so wish to concentrate on the negatives). In the past, we didn't have a clue full stop, whereas we are far more savvy thesedays. Still think we need to be able to make changes to combat something that has yet to happen.
i.e. 2-0 up, bring on Sandro, kill the midfield - make a sacrifice to boss out the game and end any potential hope the home side might wish to introduce.
Instead, we sat back and got battered. But we kept ourselves in it and won. Might have been lucky, might have been poor in shape and lack of leadership on the field and off it - but much like Utd can play 5/6 games and somehow muddle through with 5/6 wins, I'd take off days as long as they keep on bringing the 3 points.
And that's another thing. Might have just been an off day. It's great, no? Spurs win 3-1 and we're talking it up like we're shagged things up a little. Good times.
I have eaten my words on Lennon already ! What a comeback by the man - hope it continues - another classic goal made by the two of them (bale and lennon).... class... btw I'm past caring how we win as long we keep winning!
I was in behind the net with the home fans. Talk about intense, was very difficult to hold back a smile every time we bested them. Second half was a whole different story however.
I like what I saw from our wingers, and I hope that we see more performances of that ilk with Lennon.
Really didn't see that Defoe goal coming.
Winning ugly is the sign of a good team! Sorry i had to say it, bloody hell yesterday was so jammy i had to check my shirt thought i'd been transported to a parallel universe and it was red, that kind of stuff only happens to those wanky gooners! Not that i'm complaining, i may just be recovering from a couple of minor heart attacks but the fact we went away from home pulled fulhams kecks down and nicked their wallet makes it even more sweeter. COYS
Agreed that we have lost playing well far too many times, we can enjoy this one.
wheres Davspurs with his report on Fulhams half time cuppa contents?.... dunno what BMJ said to them but it seemed to work (except for their strikers of course).
fabulous write up Spooky, love the Troy McClure references.... wonder how long Fox/Ruport Murdoch will allow use of this....?
Game yesterday was ridiculous, but as someone once might have said... Football eh? bloody hell!
havent watched the highlights yet (i needed to get to sleep after the match and my heart was not up to it...) did they ask BMJ about the receoption from our end? if so what did he say?
I was just infront of the group of lads with I <3 Martin Jol spelled out on their T-Shirts... on the back was Get well harry... nicely done chaps.
finally did anyone get a picture of Big Bad Ade's reaction to Defoes goal... total love for the spurs masses...
BIOYCs!
As a long standing Spurs supporter, that struck me as being pretty much a typical away performance for the vast majority of the last 30 years or so. 10 years ago we would have gloried in that as one of our most accomplished away wins!
We are very predicable in the concession of goals early in the second half, especially when winning. It really is very odd, inexplicable. It seems that having been outpassed for 45 mins, teams decide just to bombard us instead and are amazed to find how easy it becomes. QPR last week was the same. Newcastle away, Blackburn away, even 10 man Wigan! I guess part of it is playing 2 out and out wingers away from home. Another is, I'm afraid, the weakness of Modric when the going gets tough, he simply disappears. I actually disagree with the common belief that the move when we are struggling is to replace VDV with Sandro. I would replace Modric with Sandro and VDVwith Defoe. Always, always, always keep 2 upfront when under pressure.
A big question we need to answer is why we cannot find space on the break when teams are all over us. You'd think Bale would love it. But he doesnt, he just gets outnumbered. Do the opposition sneak extra players onto the pitch? Thats how it seems at times.
Spooky - I disagree with your statement that Sandro on first is the obvious substitution. For me bringing on Defoe is the first one required, given he scores a lot and is the closest we have to being a pacey striker. Sandro for VdV would just lead to us dropping even deeper and being even less threatening on the break. If you think about the problems we are having, it is not generally due to lack of bite in midfield. It is due to defending too deep and having the ball constantly lumped into our box. Sandro isnt going to change that. The key is to have a better outlet, hence Defoe. Another possibility would be to stick Bale upfront.
Maybe the real answer is to let the other team score first and the we are the ones to run riot in the second half? At least that way they wont have another half to get back into it...
how many matches in the past have we dominated a team, peppered their goal with shot after shot and their keeper has the game of their life? We walk away with an incredulous 0-0 (or worse, conceding a freak late goal) . Its about time Lady Luck's panties were dropped for us for a change. We seem to need a bit of a scare now and again to stop us getting complacent. All hail that we got our complacency warning AND 3 points in the same breath. COYS!! (Shame we have an internation break now and a long weekeknd to wait until Villa,)
>>Always, always, always keep 2 upfront when under pressure.
Paul, I thought the primary problem was the defense not having readily available short options. They conceded possession (esp. BAE) repeatedly and I wonder if the "inverted winger" masterplan is moving those players away from the fullbacks. Putting on Defoe seemed to just give them another distant target to hoof it to, to no avail. I just see what the TV shows me though, so I could be mistaken.
I would have taken a draw from this beforehand, keeping my brown tinted spectacles on. And am starting to love Brad inbetween the sticks, and not just because he reminds me of Ron "Hellboy" Perlman. Who can lose with the Right Hand of Doom in goal? Heurelho who?
Never thought I'd consider Friedel and Parker "great signings" as long as I drew breath. I think I accidentally walked through a mirror and found myself in another dimension.
Paul F, if you dont see the use of having another body in midfield to win and keep the ball when we are under pressure, you must be a professional frisbee player.
see link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_hlgbUToaE
I love that our two wingers are combining like a strike partners. My highlight of the weekend was Chris Baird strafing all the way across his penalty box after Lennon did him for the 2nd goal. It immediately made me want to play Metal Gear Solid on PS one.
Chris Baird as "Snake"!
Nochman, because the problem is, we are playing too deep. Sticking on another midfielder will only mean an extra Spurs midfielder in and around our own box. For some reason this happens every single week, and is usually made WORSE by adding an extra CM. Just look back at the games. Is this a coincidence? It might well be the same in frizbee, but honestly, I havent got a fking clue what your talking about there
The long term answer is to find out WHY we drop so deep. Lack of leadership on the field will be mentioned, but it could also be lack of stamina in some key positions. Certainly Ledders must be blowing pretty hard by 70 mins being as he never trains. We know VDV tires and I think Modric does too. But in the short term, the answer has to be to have an outlet to clear it to. In that case, 2 up front is sure as hell better than one. Yesterday for the first 25 mins of the second half we literally had NOBODY upfront. Not a single player in their half for huge passages of play, including every single opposition set piece. WTF do people think is going to happen when we clear the ball and nobody is ahead of it? It just comes straight back, what else could happen?
We need to fix this, or last seasons annoying point dropping to tricky sides with quick strikers (Wigan, Wolves, WBA) will become annoying points dropped against big cloggers with good set pieces (Stoke, Blackburn, Newcastle)
There were a few goalmouth scrambles towards the end and we did not play well second half but I wasn't as panicked as some seem to have been. Because as I said often the spine of our team Friedel, King, Modric, Parker, Adebayor is a fearsome combination even when not at their best.
Anyway my guess for the cause of the less good second half aside from the usual 'shit happens' reason is the way we play with VDV. Very good player but the style we end up playing with him is less solid with less positional dicipline than a more traditional 442 is.
Without him we I think we would be more solid and just win games because we are better in every position plus we would have a good shape to counter opponents with their tails up.
In short, total football is pretty but round pegs in round holes matching up opponents makes for safer wins. Just a theory though. If Defoe starts next game we can test it a little.
I keep a list of fixtures printed on the wall in my office at work, where I record the result of each match. The first page starts with two "Ls." Then there's a string of Ws with one D. Does anything else really need to be said? We can talk tactics, toughness, ability to "boss," giving up early second half goals, etc etc. But if we continue to win games, on average, 3-1, will anyone complain?
Love your blog Spooky, your imagination knows no bounds
The reason we keep getting battered in the second halves of games is because there is not enough cover in midfield. I was practically screaming for Sandro to be brought on. He should have been brought on for Lennon after half-time with VdV told to stay up in midfield as the outlet. I think Col Parker was dazed from the forearm smash. The lack of cover causes excess pressure on the defence, who then get tired, lose position and possession, resulting in mistakes. We have to be less open against home teams and the big hitters.
Think Paul F has got it spot on, we are defending way too deep.
But our tactics were spot on, soaked up the pressure then scored that all important third goal taking the sting out of the game at a time when they couldn't come back into it.
Textbook.
This: "Part III – Pull the panties off Lady Luck with your teeth, then give her a cheeky love bite" was genius.
Good write-up, Spooky.
But guys, guys, give some credit to Fulham players for the pressure we soaked. They played their hearts out, and threw at us everything they got, short of a kitchen sink. Speaking of Lady Luck, she actually tried to help the opposition by giving them the ball every time we pounced it out of our box, so they can press on again and again. All the bounces went Fulham way and it puzzles me how was this Lady actually helping us? Is it when Luka made a conscious decision to stand at the goal line and prevent them to score? I don't think so. Is it when Ledley's clearing header bounced off of Kaboul’s back and rolled into our net? I don't think so. Was "she" helping Brad? I don't think so, because I've seen even better saves from him than what he pulled off yesterday; if anything it was his standard day in the office. I didn’t see our luck out there but I did see Spurs team grit and determination to not let Fulham win. I also saw lack of quality and composure of Fulham players when in chance to score. Seeing Jol’s long face after Spurs steamrolled his team – priceless.
Great stuff Spooky. Think we are creating our own stress in these matches, allied to spirited displays from the opposition. We wilfully throw away possession through constant long balls, mainly from Friedel. Theoretically they were aimed at Ade but in reality 99% went to Hangeland, who lives on stuff like that, so within moments we would be facing another attack. We have to have confidence in our ability to play the ball through midfield, and not continually give the ball away. Best form of defence is keeping possession and creating attacking opportunities yourself.
As well as Brad played, he was driving me nuts with his distribution.
Good write-up again. Don't suppose anyone read Kammy's piece this week on Sky Sports site? Looks like our good friend davspurs is spouting his 'energy enhancement' theory again in the comments piece! http://www.skysports.com/opinion/story/0,,12086_7297033,00.html?
Davspurs is indefatigable isn't he? Come to think of it, where does he get his energy from?
So basically davspurs (if correct) is saying that all those teams loaded up their players with drugs at half-time........ Dangerous accusation to make!
More likely is that they all got bollocked by their managers at half-time for not getting close to the Spurs players and preventing us from playing. We evidently play best when our players have time and space. Fortunately we're also starting to adjust to finding a way to survive when we don't have things our own way.
sorry serji22 that cant be davspurs... 1 it makes sense (ish) 2 it has effective punctuation... and that aint his style is it?
Cryil - LOL, awesome thought.
But hey, whatever we think about dav, he loves the Hudd (I think), so he's ok by me.
Spooky on his game yet again..............
A total riot and miracle 3 points
VDV's game was priceless............Watching him, it felt like he planned a light sunday jog in the park, realized he had an actual game and decided to continue w/ his original plans
Philly Hotspur, LOL.