Levy, don't even think about it
Thursday, August 19, 2010 at 11:07PM Dear Mr Levy,
I'll get straight to the point.
Leyton high road, in-between the KFC and Orient is Coronation Gardens. Lovely place, probably the only place in Leyton where you won't find a bed mattress or broken television every few feet as you walk briskly along. What you will find are some park benches, specifically the ones that face the high road, near the bus stop. And here, on Fridays and most weekends you will see Whiskey Tom. You can't really miss him to be honest. Stinks to high heaven, always intoxicated on Tennents, puking up against walls, screaming at the trees. He's about forty-five, looks sixty. Scruffy beard, stained clothes. You get the picture. He's a hobo, a tramp. Probably has some mighty deep story about how he ended up on the streets, but you'll never get past his ramblings to ever know.
He's a fruit loop. My personal favourite was the time he pissed in his boots and chased a number 357 bus screaming till his lungs burst that 'Satan's seed needed to be purified'. Go visit, he's always there. Not sure what he does for the rest of the week, but probably sleeps it off in some squat somewhere. Or just uses one of the many street-beds you get in that part of east London.
If you want to sign someone on a free, then I suggest Tom. To my knowledge he has absolutely no associations with Chelsea and Arsenal and even though his plight appears to be one of sadness, he's actually quite content with his little kingdom of desolation. You'll never find him sitting in the middle of the street crying. Standing up and urinating over cars, guaranteed on a Saturday night.
Don't say I didn't give you the heads up.
regards,
Spooky
Reader Comments (137)
1ST POINT. Whisky has no 'e'
2ND POINT. Cardiff signed Tom at 7.45pm this morning
3rd POINT. We need experienced players - like the man says - if Gallas turns up ans plays up.....we'll string him up - however, if he turns up with his chest out, and up for a scrap we'll love him!!!!
Welcome William, Me o'l son.....welcome to the LANE
Soz, was on the rum at the time of writing.
Has this deal been confirmed then? ITKs were are yooooooou?
I believe that Whiskey has an 'e' in it if it's Irish. http://www.jamesonwhiskey.com/age_verification.aspx so it's debatable whether you should be "dropping Es".
Bit of knee-jerking going on with regard to Dawson and Bassong on Tuesday, although admittedly they had a poor game together, but we saw them put in plenty of good performances together last term.
Gallas....from a playing / experience point of view, this is a good signing as it looks like it's the end of the road for Woody. From a personal point of view he's a see you next Tuesday, but every good team needs a few of those.
So, if the deal goes through, let's let him win us over with super performances, goals from CB and 100% commitment.
No sitting down on the pitch though please...
Must agree with Spooky , the big red machine sounds like the first ever reasonable gooner that has ever visited this blog
What a change from gooner jake and his alter ego's
Dropping Es. I've suddenly had Ibiza flashbacks.
Piss off with your gooner love-in right now!! He's just smiling on the other side of his big red face cos he knows gallas is past it... Is cl making us soft or something?
We're asking him to show balls, guts, pancreas, whatever...I think it shows quite big balls to actually make the move in the first place. Not to mention a fuck-off huge ego, which in a top sportsman is no bad thing at all. He probably thinks he's the most important person in London at the moment. I'm actually looking forward to a bit of nastiness, a bit of the win-at-all-costs-and-go-fucking-mad-if-you-don't mentality. We probably have too many nice guys in the team, and too many players who don't actually believe that they are the best. Gallas will bring that 'I'm an intrinsically superior human being to the opposition' attitude that is pretty essential if you're going to win things.
Plus, he still has a big standing in the world game. This signing will probably attract others. Other players may think he's a cock, but they know he's a winner. And this isn't a popularity contest we are tying to win.
Whiskey... with an "e" is real whiskey- Whisky is what Scots, Canadians and Yanks pass off as antiseptic.
What a pity judas left the scum. Spurs vs. Arse with Sol & Gallas on the pitch sounds like a quiet game.
everytime i think of that twat (he who should not be named) playing for us i feel like shiiting my self and puking at the sametime, although that being said he was offered 2 years and more money with the woolwich wanderers so maybe he knows something that we dont, still a twat though !!!
Shameless plug:
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Sorry!
Wait a minute, Gallas is a proven winner, scores vital goals in set peices and has a heap of much needed Champions League experience. Oh no we are signing a bad player -_-
Get your head screwed on whoever thinks this is a bad signing.
Oh and 'chrisman' you got it 100% right. A player we really need in the dressing room.
The more I think about it, the more attractive a squad with winners such as Hleb, las diarra, lui fab and even gaylass seems... I guess Harry has earned our trust so let's just let him do what he thinks is best... Pushing our loyalty a tad but in Harry we trust... COYS!!!
PS- I heard gallas smokes 20 a day, so a great influence on the dressing room then.. On another matter, anyone know who the 2 England players who just got super injunctions are? No names please, just clues (;
Tony Dorigo and Stuart Ripley. That's all I can say at this stage. Apart from it involves violent sex and corned beef. And an illegally imported flamingo
The Irish can't spell....that's all!
Chrisman...you complete me!
Spooky.....great post mate....by the way, I laughed until I cried reading your post 'How very Tottenham of us' .Cheered me up no end!!
Roll on Wednesday night.......
Aaah the 35 degree sunshine!! Waiting for news on the coup that would be gallas! May be a twat but a proven winner at chelski... Not my 1st choice but hey an interesting solution..
PL Pete- heard one was an England international who has played for several top clubs on 100k a week... Can't be that many? ;)
Spooky - nice post, like'm cryptic me!!
In Harry we trust!!
I heard that it was rob green who is in fact gay and has let many balls slip through his hands as well as a huge cock-up his arse...
Confused ! Why is harry looking at so many midfielders ? surely its strikers we need and now that Defoe is injured [could be months] we only have three very average up front, in fact with romours of keane going then
I am concerned .
excellent signing. could have been useful in burn the other night with his experience! lets hope harry gets the other players he wants
Tomtroubert;
Calm down, man. If you feel hurt by my comments, I sincerely apologize.
It is my problem that I don’t do well with gossips; no matter how “reliable” are the “sources”. Never have and probably never will. I was just dismayed that someone can so childishly slate a player that could potentially add some real granite to our defense.
You believe what you believe and be happy, but I’m delighted as fuck that we got Gallas. As someone mentioned earlier, I too primarily care about the cockerel on the front of the blue and white shirt and not who’s wearing it.
beetleblues
Fair comment no hassle. Still I do think its a good signing as I said all along.
There are those of us (the majority) who know that this is a great signing that will inprove the team and then there are those who disagree.
Those who disagree seem to be fixated on body parts such as c*ck, c*unt, t*wat etc.
Maybe they should become stand-up comics because they certainly understand nothing about football, but probably a lot about tribal aggression and moronic chanting.
Having seen what was patently obvious to all on Tuesday, we needed cover and what other options are available?. Constantly fans are griping about the lack of quality cover for King and Woodgate, and last season we were shuffling the pack using Charlie and Hudd. It's not an ideal situation I know, but I'd sooner have Gallas in the side than Upson for example. Please guys get the spite out of your system on here, but the moment Gallas dons that white shirt, he's representing OUR side, and we should give him our support accordingly, after all he's not come from Arsenal anyway, he was a free agent, and Wengers peed off with him joining us, so its not all bad?
Whilst at chelsea, probably one of the 2 best in the world for a time. Went a bit mental and went to the Gooners. Pissed them all off, went a bit more mental, sat around crying in the centre circle. I have always disliked him. I understand people saying great free signing and rather him than Upson (and I agree with that) but he kept on getting caught out of position last season, not a great talker and doesn't have the pace of old. I think he will get massively booed by the Park Lane... I hope I'm wrong, I just think he is a cunt...
you honestly reckon he will get booed by his 'own fans'?
ollyparklane, get the fuck out of here, Your full of shit. Treacherous Cunt!
Mate, i read you post last night & was going to be the first to comment, but you are so far of the mark on this one.
In Arry WE trust...............
Cant a cunt still be a good signing?
I think its a good signing (see previous comments)
I think he's a cunt (see previous comments)
I have done stand-up and
I understand quite a bit about football too.
So DaveK, lets not tar everyone with the same brush!
experianced winner for free enough said.you knockers know fuck all about foot so shut it and go and support enfield,your a fuckin joke.
I would have Saddam Hussein and Hugh Grant in the team as long as it was good for the team.OK he played for the filth and he can be a complete tosser,but Harry is not a mug and he has handled difficult players before.Can you imagine Joe Jordan taking any shit from him.He is an arrogant twat,know it all tosser and a moaning bastard but he is also an experienced defender,a player who wont accept players around him who are lazy and someone who cares deeply about his own performance as well as his team mates performances,what a refreshing change a player who wants to win so much it hurts.So putting aside that he played for those scummy turd eaters down the road he is exactly what we want a nasty snarling bastard who wants to win and expects his team to be the same.Can we have another dozen just like him
No doubt signing Billy is the tonic we need to push on from 4th we achieved last season. It is imperative we start to build a team that has some scary characters in it and Gallas comes no better. I can't wait to see what he is going to do for us on Wednesday and when the first round of the derby is played.
Just a thought, but come the Arsenal match, will anyone be cheering Gallas, or will we all be booing?
gooner scum not welcome
Chrisman.... booed by HIS own fans????? get one thing straight, he is scum and I am not a fan of HIS, I am a fan of the club I have been supporting (and watching unlike most of you) for 40 years. YES I will boo him and so will most of those on this coach !!!