Saturday
Jul172010
What exactly does Jermaine Jenas do?
Saturday, July 17, 2010 at 2:46PM Its a question for the ages. Jermaine Jenas - what does he do exactly? It's one that splits a family in two, puts people on streets. For every person who defends him, there's one fifty who slate him. Yet everyone involved within football (managers) persist in his inclusion and selection. If England manages have seen something the fans have somehow missed, week in and week out.
Is JJ mis-understood? Jose rates him high enough to select him for his fantasy football team. He must be good then, innit? No? Hmm.
This impossible question has to be placed to bed once and for all*.
*No frigging chance.
Reader Comments (45)
Maybe when Jose put Jenas and Bale in his fantasy team a couple of years ago he was working to transfer fee constraints and thus picked Jenas as he prefered having better calibre players elsewhere.
Holy shit that was funny
Hi everybody. Been offline for months and come back to this gold.
Wonderful.
Love it!
"I want to stay at White Hart Lane and fight for my first-team place," Jenas told the News of the World.
So would I if I could canter along like he's done, big wages for little return and I can't see much of a future for him as we look to a new era of Spurs Glory
Quality spooks.
Spooky Jenas is there in case we get beat and we need a good excuse . He also plays great when you don't expect him to so he is a secret weapon even the Russians don't no when he will play well so just enjoy the good times and hope the bad are not to bad . Nice bit of fun but Jenas looks very fit and raring at the moment so you could get shocked along with all of us .COYS
That was superb!
"Wilzon Palaziouz"
Ha!
Class
He's one of those players that you ask each other after the match, where the hell was Jenas, what did he do today.
You later watch match of the Day, and they come out with the stats to show you he was the best player, at this stage you think your either going crazy, or went to the wrong match. Maybe that's the problem, we all keep turning up at the wrong match and Jenas is a genius.
Excellent!
That was quality - laugh out loud funny. Cracking site as well BTW.
This is the original video that started all of these spoofs off.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FL7yD-0pqZg
Classic stuff.
Yep - that was my inspiration. There's a couple of quality iphone 4 vids doing the rounds at the moment.
I'm taking requests. Will probably do one on the new Puma shirts. Any more for any more?
The "is Huddlestone any good" debate is always a fun topic down the pub for me.
It always astonished me how eager Spurs fans are to trash one of their own players. True Jenas is no Schneider or Iniesta but he is better than Barry--and yards faster--. He has never played badly for England and to my mind he is a good squad player the team need over a season.
David - the video pretty much sums up the countless arguments over at the Glory Glory forum. Spooky has (in the past) been a supporter of Jenas.
Listen- everyone has sussed him out! There is no reason for him not to have flourished bcos when he was here our mid-field wasnt bristling with options or quality? If he's so great why on earth hasn't any 1 bid for him? He's just flash & pretentious & is going backwards at the Lane. We need to get shot of him- and david- we are not trashing our own player but JJ is trite & you must be one of the few who think Barry is worse than Jenas. You have loss u head man! Barry was just not truly match fit throughout the WC but at least went looking for the ball & he's played in some games where he's manners our team much less the mid-field. We trash JJ cos he is trash!
"He's the only player to hit the crossbar..." LOOOOOOOL
Brilliant!!!!!!
Brilliant, Brilliant, Brilliant, its me arguing with myself about this guy!
Golden!
Really really excellent work. Can't tell you enough. Just went on the site as well and had a go. Did you just pay the $5, or is there another one in the series? Perhaps you can sponsor the backgrounds and make money to cover the costs? (Danny Levy...I'm free if you want to sign me up as your apprentice).
$5? I think you can download software but the creation of the vids can be done online and for free.
I thought that in order to publish your online creations, you need to pay actual wonga. Perhaps downloading the app is the way forward.
Hmm, not that I know of. I registered, choose the actors/back drop, created (it really is a superb creating tool, be it simplistic, but that's the whole point) then published to their site and then to you tube. Apparently I have a premium account, but I guess that's a glossed over 'free account'.
Perhaps it's coz I'm not an internet VIP like you are...or that I can't read properly and thought I have to pay.
Still, regardless of whether you paid for it or not, I'd like to see more.
There is something wonderful about having your words delivered by robotic sounding cartoon characters. Intend to do a series of vids.
Okay, so I think I see what you see now. First movie is free. Second movie onwards?
$5
/whistles
If Jose rates JJ then im sure we will see him playing for REAL MADRID LMFAO !!!
NOT !!!
Brilliant
Nothing - hasn't anyone noticed that it is very rare we win with him in the team.------VERY RARE. Does that not tell anyone anything!!! He is lazy, uncreative and makes the whole team lethargic. I have been saying this for years and I absolutely hate it when he is named in the team. For gods sake we qualified for CL football without this guy - does this not tell everyone reading this article that we should cash in on him ASAP. Please someone buy him!!!!
You need to have played the game at a quite a high level to see how much JJ contributes to SPURS and im afraid thats the main reason why he appears not to have flourished ,ILL try to put this in laymans terms He controls the centre of midfield he covers more ground than any other player He is constantly in both boxes more than any other player i could go on but check the stats and also check the results when he plays for SPURS and when he doesnt then you might see what he does . Hes also human and doing the job he does and not getting the praise he deserves i think has taken its toll on him COYS JJ
LMAO @ Spursden (who has obviously played football at the highest level...) The stats don't lie mate. Rewind to the 2008/09 season and review the games in which Huddlestone played in preference to Jenas and you will see the result. We won far more games with t'Hud in the t'side. In fact, t'Hud was very unlucky to be removed by an as yet undecided Redknapp when Jenas returned from one of his regular injuries. Our performances suffered immediately.
Spursden,
Give up will you. You remind me of that 'Chemical Ali' chap in Baghdad, the US tanks were rolling in, yet he was still telling everyone that Saddam was still the boss.
I hate this bullshit theory that just because a person hasn't played at the highest level means his eyes are playing tricks on him. That what he's seeing and has seen for five (!) seasons isn't really the football equivalent of diarrhoea, but some kind of master class in subtle and nuanced play that only the footballing aristocracy can comprehend.
No! My eyes don't deceive me, he's pure pony and should be kicked out the club asap.
Lets see one season out of the 5 he's been at the Lane when he wasn't an automatic first choice and we finally end up 4th.
Didn't fail, didn't choke, didn't hide. Didn't do a Jenas.
As for England managers always looking at him, one word - 62-cap-Heskey.
Jenas is a good squad player and i would play him right back. Yes right back Gomes Jenas Dawson Kaboul Bale Lennon Huddlestone Modric Townsend Wickham Keane haaaaaaaaaaa me brain has fused trying to fit all our players in the Team bloody hard job with our emerging stars.
Jenas at right back davspurs? You been on the NRG tabs again?
engine midfield player great player on his day. however due to his inconsistency. league cup player only if not sell him off. got sandro who by the sounds of it is tasty. however if he is denilson hardly the champions league quality we need
I think Jenas is underrated...but still average. He's really not that bad, he's just not that good either. Before Hud stepped up and we bought Palacios Jenas was an important player, but, frankly, spurs have moved on. Still....those games against Arsenal WERE fantastic - on those days he looked every inch the equal of Gerrard or Lampard. As others have pointed out tho, you can count those games on one hand.
Oh, these are warm up games too - some players will look awful cos they are at lower levels of fitness etc. than others. Some players will just never turn up in games that mean nothing.
Brilliant stuff! I'm with her, but he does have a point...:oS
this is sooo good spooky. something about the timing in their voices makes the already-funny script just hilarious
Someone pilfering your work? http://www.thespoiler.co.uk/index.php/2010/07/20/jermaine-jenas-under-the-tottenham-microscope
Brilliant.. LMFAO
This is the funniest thing I have ever heard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!