The James Corden Guide to being James Corden
Wednesday, June 9, 2010 at 11:27PM When not in 'Smithy' character, act normally, which is just like 'Smithy' character
Borderline homo-erotic behaviour is essential
Face-palm plenty and talk quietly when upset/angry
Over the top passion when happy
Talk in high-pitched voice when attempting to stress something important
Break dancing or a subtle reference to 'the robot' always helps if extra laugh is required
As much over-exposure on TV as possible, before the bubble bursts. If it's football related, get on it to consolidate yourself as the new face (and gut) of English football celeb-punditry. Fat is funny, in ads, on panel shows, footie post-match commentary and anything with celebs in it
Release a collaborational England song (everyone else is doing it, so why the hell not?) because this further increases your profile as a celeb that loves football (note: don't wear a West Ham shirt in public, there's no money in it)
Reveal your belly at any given moment, for larfs
Follow the Ricky Gervais Guide to Offending Other Celebrities in Public but in a funny 'joke way'
Thank God each night for that Comic Relief team talk to the England players that kick-started the post-Gavin and Stacey work-load (because the Horne and Corden Show doesn't really count, does it?)
In a nutshell, just continue to do 'Smithy' until you end up back as Smithy in a Christmas Special, thus coming full circle and ending the journey by completing an Ouroboros on ones self
Reader Comments (81)
I want to dislike him, I really try hard to believe me, but I end up thinking he is kind of harmless, and he is relatively entertaining compared to alot of other TV 'personalities'.
His bubble will burst eventually, but until then, good luck to him, 'cos he sure is milking it
James is loveable
Time for Corden effigy
I hate james corden the westham prick seems to be on everything these days and everyone loves him except me...
i cant stand corden annoying shithead of a man hes not funny just looks it i wish he would pissoff somewhere for aboout 40 years or so
big fan of james corden
It's just overkill now. "Smithy" was overkill by series 3 of G&S.
The backlash will come. Thank god.
Sorry, but I find him very funny. I can see what you corden haters dislike about him though and why it could become very annoying.
I'm guessing Spooky secretly likes him.
Love him or hate him he's here to stay... for the while anyway.
Just one of those passing fads I guess..
Nice Red Dwarf reference too mate ;)
JD.
Can't stand him.
Didn't mind him back when I first saw him in This Is England, was indifferent after that (never seen Gavin & Stacey) but then he was on Buzzcocks and really irritated me. Then he guest hosted that show and started to strongly dislike him, and now whenever my TV is on I see him all the time and have grown sick of the sight of him.
The part about the high pitched voice is spot on, that really grates and I just don't find 'him' funny. He didn't bother me in recent film 'Telstar', but that's just a character which can be fine, but the bloke himself is a major irritant and I don't get why he is popular. Sorry just remembered I live in England in 2010, it's obvious why he's popular. Anything that is popular these days is usually total shit.
Far too much of him on tv. Funny in G&S, okay in one or two of the sketches he did for England, but it's all getting a bit repetitive now.
Too right Libertarian Deist, just had to sit through that Big Bro shite tonight, i ended up becoming far too "gobby & opinionated" (my Mrs words not mine) for my Mrs who has now duly kicked me out the bed & i'm on the Net reading about another annoying effing things !!
Corden, yes he is annoying at times, but his time will come. Big Brother. Fucking Shit . Usless c*nts !!!!!!!!!!!!
His early work as Jabba was sublime, but he has become a shitcunt of the highest order. I actually scooped my eyeballs out with a rusty spoon when I saw him milking it on Socceraid, his quadruple chin wobbling like an excited jelly
what's the fat bastard got to do with spurs?????
Agreed with the fact that he was hilarious as smithy in a great comedy show that he wrote, and he should not abuse that at all... agreed never release an "engerland" world cup song especially with dizzie rascal, nothing will ever beat world in motion or three lions ('96 version) classic ... He may be a one trick pony but there is no need for this........... or is it just me?????????????
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/bizarre/3006381/James-Corden-and-Sir-Patrick-Stewarts-bitter-belly-bust-up.html
leave off spook! hes harmless
Lets get this into perspective. A fat weak so called comedian is somehow or another caught up into the England world cup build up. If he's that interested in football lets see him give 50 press ups and a 100 squats before he mentions anything to do with taking the piss out of football in general.
Shame on you; Corden is brilliant. He's funny and does so much for charity.
If you don't like him, don't watch him.
P.s. This is a Spurs-related website. Shame on you. Massive respect lost.
I wish James Cohden would just fuck off back into obscurity from which he once came, He is a cunt.
It would not surprise me if he didn't write this article as to get some feedback what people really think of him.
Why do i have t put up with the shock of having his fat lardy arsed face on my TV until i can zap it with the remote as quickly as possible. What does the fat twat do?
He's not funny, he a moron
Spooky guide to being spooky:
1. Random, illogical use of bold, italics and other formatting styles.
2. Irony, always irony.
3. Awkward use of internet neologisms and what you consider to be "street slang", not really befitting a balding, 30 year old father of one. For get out clause, see point 2.
4. Express utter disdain for "The Sky Sports 4", but still cry when you finally join them.
5. Possess a strange habit of affecting a knowledge of hip hop.
6. Regularly copy and paste forum topics from another message board that you pretend to hate. Never reply to said topics.
7. Fixate on Theo Walcott, writing thousands of words accusing "the media" of being fixated on Theo Walcott. Also, see point 2.
8. Hate Bill Simmons.
"Spooky guide to being spooky:
......
.
..
"
I'm missing your point here mate.
he's just not funny, same goes for g&s, both are an endless series of tired jokes
Youll see Ive sed it for years all modern comedy is riddled with drugs it won't be long before it comes out in the open. Its completely bent corden the cheeting sod has been on beef steroids for years his performance as Britain favourite fat basterd is nothing but a sham a mate of mine knew him 5 years ago and sed he was only 10 stone. The truth will come out youll see don't say I didnt warn you
'Campbell loves Corden, Campbell loves Corden...'
I must own up to watching Britains Got Talent on Sat and listened to the Dizzee Rascal/James Corden song - really not sure its a good idea to include the chant 'come and have a go if you think youre hard enough' - its alright for James in the studio but if some of our worst type, pissed, neanderthal fans start chanting it at South African police or other fans, it might just provoke something.
No, no.
Can you not see why Cordon is so called upon by TV bosses? He's is man. A very modern and typical representative of the average football loving fatty. You know the one, loud, fat and loves his own jokes.
The World Cup, pinnical of International sport, contested by the greatest athletes in the world and advertised by beer and fat people...
It's alright saying "if you don't like him, don't watch him" but the fucker is everywhere you look. No, it's not Spurs-related either, but we are all football fans, and the only football at the moment is the World Cup - of which he has raped the coverage by getting his fat chops everywhere he can. He even popped up on that Socceraid thing the other night - did you see the footage of him shoving Redknapp aside to rush out to the camera? He's a typical bandwagon-jumping 'footie' fan, he was a Manchester United fan growing up and then decided to be West Ham, probably a cynical move to fit in with his faux-cockney act. He doesn't even stay in that persona either, if you hear him on the radio he reverts to nauseating luvvie.
If you are on Facebook, join the group:
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/group.php?gid=56636721228
Corden is a fat twat that could not handle a 70 year old man taking the piss out of him a little. Pathetic worm.
ellsbury is goonerjake who is chelsea casual who is about 20 different usernames, but can be found over at rumourwhores as Django, someone who hides behind a persona that involves bad spelling/grammar and spends most of his online time cyberstalking. It's cute. Although slightly disturbing to have someone with such a massive hard-on for me chasing me around, forever flirting.
Oh, and who said I hated glory glory you dick? I post there more than I post over at rumourwhores. So have to mark you down on that one.
Additional: We finished 4th. We haven't joined the Sky Sports 4, but then I know you're just on a wind up, innit mate, lolocopter x infinity
:) :) :)
I'm sorry but when Stacy got Gav that signed picture of Michael Dawson I pissed myself, its just something about Dawson's face. Its hilarious to me, you just can't help but smile when you see him on TV, its infectious. I liked G&S but I don't get why you guys are so bothered about Corden, OK so I see a few adverts with him in for his show or whatever but I don't watch them so it don't bother me. The guy is harmless and just seems to enjoy what he loves doing and he makes people laugh, whether its you or not doesn't matter. No type of TV entertainment/celebrity will ever appeal to everyone, there will always be people who don't find a certain style of comedy funny. Stop complaining, Jesus!
Anywho....what does this have to do with spurs?
corden is a fucking nob. never watched gavin and stacey, but have had the misfortune to catch that embarrasing wankfest on sky 1 with redknapp and that totally unfunny scouse 'comedian'. its the least funny thing since polio. And as for the advert for that ITV world cup thing, it honestly looks like the closest thing to hell on earth yet seen. The guy is a total bellend, and not even funny. But hey, like that utter buffon Adrian Chiles, he appeals to thelowest common denominator ie most of the country. In reality both are both up themselves arrogant nobheads, but they know that their basic 'everyman' schtick will easily appeal to the sort of wankstains who watch itv and sky 1 regularly.
And also, what is it with itv WC coverage, is it sponsored by national annoying obese cunt week?
Well said, Spooks - he's shit, that Corden.
i hate Ant & Dec with a passion....and yet everyone seems to find these talented geordie morons funny? Same shitty jokes and even Georgie thompson off of SSN seems to have fallen for Ant for some reason...
'Massive respect lost' for stating a dislike for a tv comedian/celeb? Get a grip of yourself.
i find him to be massively overrated (HIm and Dizzee). I can't understand a word Rascal says and when I can
it deposits in to the banks of frivolity. I too reach for the remote like it was high noon at the not ok caral,the pair
of them are cliched and massively irritating. Have to say to the dejectors ,that the season is finished so how can
the writer talkabout spurs. Fact all things in main stream poulus are predominantly andpositively shite.
talentless, unfunny prick. Hate the bloke. he just tries to be ricky gervais all the time but fails miserbaly as he doesnt have the brain or wit to achieve it.
Full respect to Sir Ptrick Stewart for slapping him down at the awards do yesterday, couldnt have agreed with him more.
Gotta say I do find him pretty funny.
Also, I'm pretty sure if any of us were offered the chance to be Redknapp's assistant for a match like that Socceraid one, or do a bit of punditry for a laugh, none of us would turn it down... I think fair play to him, he may be milking it but we would all do the same!
Who is James Corden?
Corden's not funny, he's just a twat. Libertarian Deist got it absolutely right - everything that's popular these days is total utter shit.
i hate that fat talentless cunt with a burning passion
Dear Mr Levy's quite popular?
you all missed davspurs comedy genius... self deprecating humour at its best...
ps. corden is a massive chunt bucket and he's not funny
Dear Mr Levy's quite popular?
Jun 10, 2010 at 1:53 PM | LemonadeMoney
RIP
I can confirm Davspurs comment was gold. he is one of the undiscovered gems of the early 21st century.
Obviously offended fans of Star trek? Cordens crass attempt at humour and his laddish behaviour against Sir Patrick Stewart at an awards ceremony recently is probably the reason for the vitriol.
Personally I cant stand the arrogant Sir Stewart either...they deserve each other.
Am I missing something here? Was it not Picard trying to score points off Cordens fat stomach?
I agree, can't stand the fat twat. The guy's as funny as a raped kitten.
Sorry back to Joe Cole what is with these 'pundits' and Spurs;
Cascarino: Cole must choose United over Arsenal & Spurs......
Cascarino suggests a move to Tottenham Hotspur would perhaps be the worst option for the Chelsea star.....
http://www.sport.co.uk/news/Football/39368/Cascarino_Cole_must_choose_United_over_Arsenal__Spurs.aspx
It's a media conspiracy against Spurs, obviously.
Or maybe, y'know, a move to 2 teams which have finished above you in the league every season in recent memory might be better for him. And of those 2 teams, the one who have spent the last decade winning the league and going to the latter stages of the CL is best.
That's just a theory though, it's tough to parse I know.
Cute username though. Prick.