Boycott England
Tuesday, October 12, 2010 at 2:01PM #6
International break will be over after this evening and tomorrow we can all start to look forward to the weekend and Fulham away. Bread and butter will never taste so good. Don't know about you, but I've already got my gram and hooker at the ready. However, the clock still needs to tick tock into Wednesday before I ruin my nasal septum whilst having a twenty-one year old wrap her legs around my neck.
I've been positively brain dead with boredom. Placing aside daily routines consisting of travel and work and household stuff (did someone say baby?), I've had to find ways to amuse myself, keep myself entertained. It's not like there are no Tottenham stories doing the rounds out there. There are plenty. But you'll have read them. Countless times. I'm not inspired enough to write up commentary on said stories either. Again, mainly because there's not really that much to comment on, and there are plenty of media outlets and sites echoing the same bits and pieces of rumours and quotes.
I've said all I've wanted to say about Gollivan and Brady. But that hasn't stopped me from crashing my lolcopter whilst reading how West Ham have had a huge boost in their bid to claim the stadium from the grasp of Spurs. Three words. Northumberland Redevelopment Project. The Olympic stadium is a 'back up' a 'ploy'. How many times now? Move the f**k on.
Then, I think at the start of the break, there was Comolli trying to take credit for the players he signed during his tenure that are doing so well at Spurs currently. Cheers for that Damien. Do you also want to take responsibility retrospectively of the fact the club signed mis-matched individuals with different levels of application and varying styles of ability and technique that as a collective didn't quite gel and blend together until after you (director of football, right?) was sacked? What? No comment?
Oh look, I'm commentating. Stop it. Down boy.
Sigh.
Once the England game is done and dusted we can start talking tactics and formations with complete freedom and begin the padding up process of our knees to help deter the potential for jerks post-final whistle over at Craven Cottage this Saturday. Ah yes, back to reality.
So, how exactly have I amused myself other than writing up these journals, burning the midnight candle? I haven't, if I'm perfectly honest. Seems the England disease has infected my tolerance level and I have become susceptible to various ills and tragedy. I'm practically draining the soul out of my body. I've done nothing with my 'free time'. To elaborate:
X-Factor
Sleep paralysis
Peppa Pig
Eye-balling a fox that was rummaging through the rubbish bins
The only way is Essex
I've hit rock-bottom.
This is England, this is torture. I've even starved myself of James Richardson's puns, bless his brilliant bald head.
So, as I've not been paying any attention to football news or found the patience to, I'll comment on the above list rather than whatever the heck is going on in the England camp at the moment. Regular readers, I apologise for the off topic meltdown. Day trippers, it's how I roll.
X-Factor - The newspaper coverage is almost akin to some of the BS you get about our beloved football club when the reporting bends reality to suit the headline and the hype. It's all self-serving and keeps it in topic. Do people honestly believe the judges (other than Cowell) have the full responsibility of selecting their 'final three' for the live shows? Cheryl Cole is there because of her undisputable beauty. That's it. You'll probably asking (again) why I even bother. Well as previously stated, it feeds my cynicism. I need a fix, and I'm happy to tap my veins on a Saturday night to get it. The first of the live shows was particularly uncomfortable car-crash viewing, yet behold, according to the 'experts' it was magical/brilliant/amazing.
Close your eyes and you could have been listening to Jamie Redknapp and Richard Keys telling you that the bore-draw being played out on Sky Sports is an epic 'chess game'.
Are people fooled by all this or do they know, but just like to pretend they don't? Watching this show, angering the blood, at one point I was certain I could see red, but alas, I had just subconsciously stabbed my eyes out with a pen.
Sleep paralysis - You're awake in bed, but you're not. Unable to move a muscle, buried under overwhelming fear of the unknown. You can’t get up and you can't wake up. Stuck in the limbo that exists between sleep and awakening. It's just like being in the singing section at the Emirates.
Peppa Pig - Countless potatoes references. Pigs and various animals driving cars stuck in a traffic jam. Banging theme music. Childrens television is made for magic mushroom consumption.
Eye-balling a fox that was rummaging through the rubbish bins - Next time, and there will be a next time, I will dismantle the sonofabitch piece of filth, bone by skinny bone.
The only way is Essex - Buckhurst Hill is where they frequent. Oh the shame of these plastic superficial twats, twatting around with daddies money. There are plenty of characters in and around Essex, so what do we get? Clichéd stereotypes attempting to act out their lives in forced exaggerated stage set-pieces in a production that makes The Hills look like Citizen Kane. Head butting the tv has never felt so great.
That's it. Someone tweet me when Liverpool go into administration because I'm immensely looking forward to the follow-up to that hugely embarrassing video Mike Jerfferies made with fans and 'celebs' where they all cry into the camera about how the Yanks have been raping the Anfield club and yadda yadda yadda. I might have sank low these past two weeks what with my ITV brain haemorrhaging session, but compared to the scousers, at least I've retained a degree (be it a little) of self-respect.
Peace. Out.
And for the love of God, COYMFS.
You've been reading the sixth and final part of Spooky's International Break diary journals.
Part one - International Heart break
Part two - Tottenham till I die
Part three - A spoon full of sugar makes the Venables go down
Part four - FAO Sullivan, Gold and Brady
Part five - In defence of Robbie Keane
Reader Comments (50)
I totally agree...get rid of international football and just play the big tournaments with England and the other big nations already in it..just have a world cup of 128 teams to start with and keep the summe rboredom away..it's stupid...'lets have a get togetehr for a week so we play better'...bullshit!!!...just get together the night before and play the next day and back the day after...stop international shitty breaks!!!
...
What a cracking photoshop
when did harry sign chewbacca?
Agree Spooky. It's about time that FIFA and EUFA were put back in their (jonny foreigners') box and stopped messing up everyone's domestic seasons with match breaks and probably a few leg-breaks as well.
I hope that Bale survives his "special attention" from the Bulgarian mafia tonight, although Crouch getting a good wacking could be appealing!
I hate bastard foxes!
Prefer Handy Manny to Peppa Pig
My 3 year old has made me watch Peppa Pig for the last 2 hours and im starting to go a little bit gaga. As we found out in the world cup its a thankless exercise having your players called up. Look at Rob Green. A fantastic keeper but now made to look like a useless plank after his world cup mistake. Matt Upsons stock has hit rock bottom. Also we lost Dean Ashton for good after he got injured training for england by Madonnas son SWP after he broke his ankle and never fully recovered. England is a nervous thing if your players are in it and it is a no win situation as if they play well they want a pay rise or a move away to a bigger club anyway. Up the hammers
Did someone say toddler?
Peppa Pig rools but I'd also recommend the Little Einsteins just for their continuing quest to introduce high culture to little-uns, whilst giving you the opportunity to say F**k off, and No you C**t at certain set intervals. It's great for kids but some of them will inevitably grow up shouting the tune of 'la donna e mobile' from Verdi's Rigoletto to words like "This sh*tholes a library" etc. Who knows, we might get a few new chants and perhaps some dance moves out it?
Timmy Time is also a goodun. From the makers of Wallace and Gromit, and the Shaun the Sheep spin off comes another spin off where the youngest (Timmy) grows up and goes to kindergarten. it's all about the Children v Children, and Children v Authority figure relationships. Sort of like X factor but with more talent and suspense.
Any injuries so far this international break? Apart, that is, from mental breakdowns?
Handy Manny is good but Ben and Hollys little Kingdom rules. Catch it on Nick Jr
Chewy for England? OR, Chewy as Cheryl Cole's new "Wild Card", or does he not have a UK visa? He must do, he's playing for SPURS!
Maybe I'll wear a Chewy mask at the Inter home game. That French bloke was rubbish. Piccolo or something, I think on reflection, Chewy is already in the X-Factor under the name Wagner Love. Funny, we're linked to him too......
BRING IT ON!!!!! (1-1 bore draw for sure this weekend to piss us all right off!)
Seconded Little Einsteins is good but Rocket annoys the shit out of me. Bring back the Mr Men they were the nuts or my all time favourite Rentaghost.
Sazza - read this and the comments http://www.dearmrlevy.com/dml/2010/10/11/in-defence-of-robbie-keane.html
Spooky, THIS IS AN INTERVENTION.
We are here to help you battle through your X-Factor addiction.
Oh, and you'll get past Peppa Pig at some stage, we're onto Tracy Beaker now via High School Musical and the Wiggles. Now they're class, a bit like an Australian Rod, Jane n Freddy. Gigglebiz rules.
Hammertime.
Rob Green a fantastic keeper? He's good but can hardly be called fantastic unless using the real meaning of the word. Perhaps he is good, but just playing behind a ridiculous defence including Upson who's problem is all of his own making.
I agree with you about Dean Ashton though, he could've should've been a leg end for you lot - and a real threat for England.
The Wiggles are just freaky - is Jeff still asleep?
Spongebob Square Pants.
Ren and Stimpy. Hardly a kids show, and very much missed. Spongebob seems to be a dumbed down version.
I worry about Big Cook Little Cook myself, those boys are not right for kids TV. I reckon they're Goons.
Wonderful international break thanks to this six parter Spooks.
Chewbecca, new blog hero.
I wish Chewbacca was our lone striker. You know, the 1 in 4-5-1!
I hope that Bale survives his "special attention" from the Bulgarian mafia tonight, although Crouch getting a good wacking could be appealing!
Oct 12, 2010 at 2:35 PM | DaveK
Sadly...I have to agree with you. I can do with some 10 games without seeing Crouch and his skywards headers. It would truly set-off our season and allow us to express our midfield superiority over all teams.
Go on then, hands up who's going to be watching tonight?
Get a PS3 Spooks!
Don't think I'd have made it through this weekend without Fifa 11.
Sorry about going through your bins. I hadn't eaten for weeks.
I have one and its gathering dust. Although I do use it as a media centre for my consumption of US tv shows. Which I'm lagging behind on at the moment...
Boardwalk Empire
Dexter
Family Guy
etc
FM2011 out in just four weeks time. Rejoice.
I'm waiting for you Fox.
Waiting.
Skinny , you should check the new studs up , he had the same idea as you ...
Ren and Stimpy = class.
Instead of playing the world cup and euros every 4 or 2 years respectively, why not have them in two parts (particularly the world cup). What I am getting at here is to include everyone as they do with the qualifiers but play all the games in the summer. So by the time say next summer is over we will know who has qualified for the euros, but we have a massive football-fest to look forward to. Then the following summer Euro 2012 takes place as planned, then the following summer we have a football orgy of qualifiers for the 2014 world cup at the end of which we know who will be playing the world cup the following year. That way everyone wins because the fans don't have the extended boredom over the summer through lack of footy; internationals no longer affect domestic campaigns and the extra weeks that we now have during the premiership season can be used for a winter break the players want so badly. Oh and also it means that international players have longer to actually gel as a team/get the tactics right before the big tournament and club managers get to scout them as they will have the time.
Simples
Blatter will have you killed by days end.
Oh and Chewy = leg-end
Sad to see people slagging off Crouch who has been our least worst striker recently and appears to have developed a telepathy with VDV too. Glad that Harry picks the team without reference to message board experts.
Did you all miss that Lennon injured his back in training for England? Or does no-one care? Can Chewie play right wing or just X-Wing?
Cursed, although reports state that he'll only be out for a few days.
Good call 'The Machine'.
Bob pants square sponge as he known in our house.
I watch it with my grandchildren, in Spanish, but by the end they've all sneaked off
and I'm watching it on my own.
He reminds me of a miniature Crouchy, so good natured and tries so hard to please.
' Who lives in a pineapple under the sea/?'
Now see what you've done Spooks.
Be great to get back to the nitty gritty again before we all go bonkers.
Peppa all the way. I am convinced that Daddy pig is a Spurs fan, but little George is probably a Chelsea fan.
X-Factor - agree completely, although I watch it just to 'know' I'm not being fooled. I actually think there's a couple of decent ones this year. Wagner's Bongos (in the middle, and the ones being rubbed at the end) were my favourite part of TV this year (Spurs live matches excluded)
Sleep paralysis - Don't worry about sleeping, just make sure you are restful when you are laying there. Don't stress about not sleeping, just get comfortable and enjoy it, you'll fall asleep when you need to.
Peppa Pig - don't watch it.
Eye-balling a fox that was rummaging through the rubbish bins - piss in a cup and throw it in your garden wherever they hang around. They wont be back when the smell it.
The only way is Essex - gave up after 5 mins of the missus watching it to play some fifa 11, get a PS3, much better way to relax and entertain yourself.
hooker and coke - I wish I got time / money for those kinds of things anymore. Roll on a 3-0 win at Fulham please. COYS.
And seriously Spooky, you ever though of a Spurs podcast, there's one on itunes that is dire. I really think your's would be quality, this is the only Spurrs site worth looking at and I really think you opinion is valued (by me and many others).
Keep up the good work Spooks. COYS
TonyTott None of the Peppa Pig family could possibly be spurs fans as none of gthem are Kosher. More likely to be HAMmers.
Hammertime - good point.
I'd happily watch 'Big Cook, Little Cook' over 'I can cook'....that bird who looks like Noel Fielding really can't sing...it's fcuking painful to watch/hear!
Enjoy the childrens tv now because it gets horrific when they're older.
What X Factor should be like:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8kTlRX3ycc
The solution to international fixtures is simple. No international breaks during the season. It will take weeks off the schedule and the season will end earlier. Then schedule all fixtures for the national squad; friendlies, games the lot. A separate season if you will.
Clubs pay a lot of money for, and to, players. They deserve to have them available and not lost for months because of injuries incurred during internationals within the premier season. Internationally there will be cohesion and managers will have the full attention of their players. TV revenues would probably rise too, because it's like a season within a season, rather than the disjointed mess it is now.
It might also take care of the debate over what nationality the manager should be. An English manager could easily do both jobs.
Matty - what itunes podcast you referring too? The Spurs Show? The one with Phil Cornwell?
Podcast isn't viable for me, not for a while yet. Video podcast more likely.
Spurs Show is very decent.
Like George Costanza, I'm going out on the high note. That image is priceless. LMFAO!!!!!!!
Please tell me no Spurs got injured today.
I don’t mind international brakes, because they are just what doc ordered for some Spurs players. I was really happy to see Kranjcar and Gio, and even Sandro, got some game time and have some fun. It is a shame that such great players cannot get a single fucking minute in Spurs rotation. Looking from aside at this fact, one could even fooled himself in thinking that Spurs are some fucking Barcelona or some other ungodly monster team. Fulham? Considering Spurs’ accustomed traditional rollercoaster, it is time to dip again. Therefore, I see Fulham wining by 2.
Sleep paralysis - Mine started at 8 pm last night and lasted for a whole 90 minutes
whos the monkey standing next to chewie "bom bom"
Am not feeling x factor but my inlaws love it and have it on so loud it vibrates the walls. I was forced into 20 mins of it the other day and commented on the guy being crap and miming, Apparantly thats a guy called Joe who won last time and hes a canny lad (wtf).
Essex boy turned midlands i watched the Essex thing for a trip down memory lane.....................Sugar Hut - now I know why I left Essex (spooky 1st time ever you got it wrong mate, the acting wa not wooden it was spot on as were the charecters, it was like a Friday night in Brentwood all over again for me, that is Essex. I wont be watchin again.
prediction for sat Spurs 2 Fulham 0