Craig Bellamy? I'd rather we sign David Bellamy
Wednesday, July 8, 2009 at 12:25PM How are you feeling? I'm feeling parched. In fact I'm worse than that. I'm dehydrated, lips dry and cracked and gasping for a drop of water. The vast sandy plains of the desert is a never-ending landscape of nothingness. Unbearable heat, sun burning the skin raw, one mirage after another after another playing constant tricks on my eyes.
And when I finally see something in the distance, and I sense in my heart of hearts it's not a mirage and I crawl towards it praying I get there before I black out…I reach for it hoping and praying it’s the miracle I've been waiting for but all I find in my hands is a packet of salt and vinegar crisps. An ironic sick joke and as helpful to a man dying of thirst as a saxophone is to an astronaut walking on the surface of the moon.
Welcome to this seasons summer transfer window.
Today is Wednesday. Nothing has happened. Yesterday was Tuesday, nothing happened. And tomorrow (Thursday) is also scheduled for nothing.
Such is the desperation that even the rumours and the ITK gossip is as dry as a grain of sand in the Sahara. We see Zokora going to Sevilla, but then it's off…but it could be on again. Who knows? Bent is over-priced and nobody appears to be interested. Apart from Sunderland who might want him if the price is right, but Harry might want Jones so nothing might happen here. Or maybe it will because Crouch is being linked to a move to the Stadium of Light. But he's also being linked with us, but only as a back-up option. Meaning someone has to be our main target. But if we had a main target, we'd surely know who it is. No? Answers on a postcard.
Bentley was going to Villa and we were signing Young. This was then followed by the Spurs invasion of Madrid to pick-up the Dutch players pushed aside by the return of the Galacticos. Alas, the mind is playing cruel tricks again. It was just an hallucination. Here's hoping that the Pennant rumour is also a full blown mirage too. What next? A cheeky bid for Rohan Ricketts? The return of the Ginger Pele?
Pav is linked with a different club every week. Either his agent is desperately trying to orchestrate a move for him or we are trying desperately to orchestrate a move for him. Or the tabloids are trying desperatley to orchestrate a story. Nobody is interested. Much like nobody is interested in Boateng, but then who would be if we are trying to claim back what we paid for him in the first place. If Levy is being this shrewd we might never sell him. Or Gio for that matter, who has no future at the club. Harry doesn't fancy him. He fancies a bit of Adel, but the young midfield maestro fancies us as much as I fancy Courtney Love to eat a plate of steak and chips.
O'Hara to Fulham? Swap Jamie for Tom Huddlestone and you've got the same rumour for two different players and every other week just mix it up by changing the story from 'we don't wont to sell' to 'they won't pay what we want'.
Bale to go? No chance. Wouldn't even loan him out. Considering how many players we are meant to be selling, we won't have a squad left considering we are not yet opening the floodgates for incoming signings. Gunter on the other hand may well be surplus to requirements. If he's not, he'll definitely be out on loan because we have more players for the right-back position than Leyton has Polish residents.
Talking of right-backs, if Harry manages to re-locate Pascal Chimbonda - expect him to be sold on for a loss and signed back at Christmas. Apparently he's been sighted in Goa, but it's being suggested it's just a look-a-like.
And as for players we want to sign. With the Dutch lads at Madrid all 'dead in the water' (not literally, that would be murder) we have to persist with stories about how we are once more back in for the Welsh injury-prone version of Robbie Keane, Craig Bellamy.
Craig Bellamy? I'd rather we sign David Bellamy.
Heat stroke has kicked in and the desert mocks me further with a mirage of Comolli drinking Evian.
There's no coming back from this, unless the sky clouds over, dark and brooding, and a thunderous roar leads to relentless rain drowning me in hope.
Will I be saved? Nobody knows. At the moment I have to make do with crawling my way from one false hope to the next, as I progress to the next stage of delirium, heading towards ireversable insanity.
Hold up...I see a miracle...A MIRACLE! ENGLAND ARE THRASHING THE AUSSIES AT THE CRICKET! It's not a Spurs transfer deal, but it will do.
I'm finally at peace.
Reader Comments (34)
And now you can wake up in a cold sweat, the aussies have the advantage already and we're going to end up with Barton, Bellamy and Pennant.
Is now a good time to leave the country for a few months?
are you serious, please tell me this is a bad joke
Hey Col. Try teletext next time you numpty.
Great, now you have got me all depressed as well.
It's worrying that we do not appear to know exactly what its is we need or who. A CM and striker? Other than Jones we are not linked with anyone. As for CM's - nobody there of any real quality. Seems like its a cat and mouse game for who might be available and waiting to see if the price match is a success. I honestly couldn't even guess at this point who we will sign.
I bet we sign someone when I'm in New York on my hols.
Lol Spooks, I know you were looking forward to the Ashes as a worthy alternative.
This window has proved once and for all that there is no such thing as a ITK. It's all guess work.
Bellamy's Welsh not Irish!
The saddest thing for me this summer is watching our fans living and dying by each days rumours.
Kind of funny watching an unrealistic big signing getting everyone excited over nothing, and then someone who they don't like brings total doom and gloom, again over nothing.
I'm just gonna wait and see what happens, and personally wouldn't really change alot anyway so am not needing to fill an empty void in my life with Tottenham transfers.
I personally believe we are working away QUIETLY on good deals, and will see what we get. The press have no idea what's going on and so are just playing with you all, this time not with ridiculous audacious rumours but with low key underwhelming rumours. They know we're so easy to wind up and we fall for it every window in one way or another.
Still, I just heard we're signing Ribery and Ameobi.
I wonder which one will have the most impact for you all. Perhaps your heads will explode from not knowing whether to be jubilant or suicidal!
Nice round-up. Save a copy to drafts and repeat this time next week.
;)
Skinny, thanks guv. Its the desert sun.
Boring as fuck this transfer window. All eyes on La Liga. Pretty low key and wouldn't surprise me if there are very few major Prem transfers. Credit crunch and all that. Which is why we can't sell any players with comparative ease. Reckon we might end up with squad players that we simply can't get rid of.
Best we don't rush in. Rushing in is what usually gets us into a world of trouble.
"are you serious, please tell me this is a bad joke"
Yes. Spooky isn't really stuck out in a desert. Think about it. His Blackberry wouldn't pick up a signal out there.
Bellamy is worth signing for less than £12M just to laugh in the face of Duxbury.
you can be right there killjoy ,after overspending these last few years ... we will get our come uppins i'm afraid - seems practically impossible to sell players for a decent price let alone the same price we bought them ourselves
There appear to be negotiations going on between Spurs and Athletic Bilbao for spain's reserve striker Llorente but hey ...
Would hate to see bellamy coming in though
Dude, its' not worth it just to laugh in the face of a no mark 'ammer.
Enjoying the blog. This part of the summer should be the part we spend AWAY from football yet we remain obsessed with it as we await the injection of new blood that will give us something new to talk about. Can't see us signing anyone big, but then thats not the point anyway. Steady, reliable consistent players that will improve us. I'm struggling to think of any English player we could pluck.
I'd be happy with Joe Cole, Peter Crouch and Richard Dunne. Strange but true.
Harry said he had 3 main transfer priorities....he's already said we were in for Roque Santa Cruz and Gareth Barry.....who was the 3rd?
GOMES
HUTTON
WOODY/DUNNE
KING/CORLUKA
BAE
LENNON
WILSON
MODRIC
COLE
CROUCH
DEFOE
I like it....a lot.
If we rush in, then expect....Pennant, Bellamy, Jones.
If we bide our time expect......er..erm....hmm....let me get back to you on that one.
I'd even take a look at Chris Brunt from West Brom, as a long term solution to the left hand side.
DubaiYid - That works for me and I can see us bidding for Dunne and also see us signing Crouch (best of all the big tall strikers we've been linked with). Just don't believe we have a chance in hell of signing Joe Cole.
I sent a copy of your article to my wife. Here's her reply:
Sounds like you!
Will Spurs fans ever be happy?
One minute they seem to complain about too much money spent and to many transfers, now that no cash is flowing out of the club and no players in they are worried.
Once again she's right!!! Damn that woman...
Spookys articles are always tinged with irony. I think it sums up almost every message board at the moment. No news.
But no news is good news. Right?
Right?
As if by magic....Zokora is gone. Confirmed on the Spurs site.
ITS STARTED TO RAIN!!
Its official Zoko has gone to Seville, something has happened...think my head may explode!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It on the official site and everything
Away from home this coming season i'd play:
GOMES
HUTTON
KING
WOODGATE
BAE
LENNON
PALACIOS (c)
CORLUKA
MODRIC
PAV
DEFOE
Thanks and goodbye to Didier, patently not good enough for where we want to be but a great lad and if half of our more talented players had his attitude we'd have beaten Arsenal to a Sky 4 League spot ages ago. 134 games in central midfield and no goal for Zok, that's unbelievable, i'm a little sad i'll never see it happen now.
Thats a few million in the transfer kitty now, if bent does go to sunderland, that gives us a good 15+ mill for harry to do some business.
I think we will start seeing some more moves now.
Good luck to Didier though, will miss those runs
Do do do....didier zokora! Who can forget him dancing along with us after the cup final and at WHL! Although he deserves to go for his miss in the cup final against Chelsea!!! hahaha. Thanks for your services Didier! You will be missed.
Lets hope the silence indicates quiet dignified deals being done behind closed doors for a change. Of the improbable deals we are 'linked' with, I would be over the moon with either Joe Cole or Ashley Young, but of course the better the player, the less likely it will happen. At the other end of the scale, I don't see why we should settle for Pennant or Bellamy just because they're available. Harry has stated if the player won't improve the team, we won't sign him.
Don't forget, no news is usually good news.
I would be really confident about next season if I saw this on Sky Sports news ticker
Tottenham Players In:
CROUCH. COLE. A DEFENDER (not sure who I want yet)
Tottenham Players Out:
BENTLEY. ZOKORA. JENAS.
All the rest of our squad deserve another season, one of little changes and ONE manager for the whole season. Then we'll see.
Have any of you lot saying you'd play Hutton actually seen him play alongside (or should I say behind) Lennon?
Alan the Hutt completely negates Lennon - he's in such a hurry to get forward, and has such a weak grasp of defending, that our most potent attacking threat, Lennon, is forced to hang back and cover him.
I would recommend a Lennon & Charlie right side, or, Bentley & Alan the Hutt.
Ideally, Alan the Hutt would be nowhere near the team while Lennon's playing.
Me, I'd flog him back to Scotland.
Hutton is crap.we need a defender not another attacking full back.
BTW, does anyone other than me want us to go after Adam Johnson? Downing's 'understudy' who has two feet, is younger and has just rejected a new deal at boro, and would cost significantly less than Stuart 'surely he's not worth more than 2 mil' Downing.
How come we're never linked to players that coiuld logically do a job and would not cost the earth? (He also did reasonably well in the U21's as did Cattermole) Damn it! Expect us to have signed Zok's replacement for twice the price and take 'six months to adapt', and will be onn in jan/feb in the ACN by this time next week!