The Stupendous Adventures of Bale and Bentley
Friday, April 24, 2009 at 10:06AM David: Alright Gareth.
Gareth: Alright David.
David: What you up too?
Gareth: Just combing my hair. You?
David: Push-ups. I combed my twice already this morning.
Gareth: Push-ups? Hair looks great by the way. What product you using?
David: The gaffer said I should concentrate on getting the basics right so I decided to give the star-jumps a rest. I’m using Quantum Sequence.
Gareth: How’s it working out?
David: Amazing. Weightless style, brings out the highlights and it’s got this zippy bounce when I run.
Gareth: No, not your hair. The push-ups.
David: I don’t know. Ok I guess.
Gareth: Sky Sports had you on yet?
David: No, not yet. Getting into camera shot when I’m practically laying on the floor…it’s tricky business.
Gareth: I can imagine.
David: So….
Gareth: So…
David: Anything planned for later?
Gareth: I’m seeing a witch doctor.
David: You need to stop going to Faces.
Gareth: I know. What about you? Anything planned?
David: I’m kicking a ball.
Gareth: From a roof into a skip?
David: No. Just kicking it. On the training field. Around the cones. Alone.
Gareth: Neat.
NEXT WEEK: Gareth and David feed a squirrel at the Lodge but disaster strikes when the little blighter chokes on a nut and David and the squirrel have to call emergency services.
Reader Comments (37)
I think we have ourselves a new sitcom.
Understated genius.
Have no iota of a clue why I found that funny, but I'm left wanting more.
"NEXT WEEK: Gareth and David feed a squirrel at the Lodge but disaster strikes when the little blighter chokes on a nut and David and the squirrel have to call emergency services"
That was a proper coffee-spat-out-of-mouth moment for me.
This is the Spooky I know and love.
You need to get behind both of these players instead of taking the piss their confidence is bad enough we can do without this type of negative shit especially from a supposed Tottenham supporter.
A+
This series could run and run.
Ahh Footballers Lives. I still think Bale can be great - only problem seems to be that ol Redknapp does not rate him
Bale will be quality for us. Injury and low confidence hasn't done him a world of good but he has talent, he's young and if he comes into a winning side and gets a win under his belt, he won't look back. I see him as an answer to the left-side issue.
Bentley is nowhere near the first team at the minute. Even sitting on the bench is a luxury. Only thing he can hope for is for Lennon to get injured and for him to come back into the fold and impress about a 1000 times more than he's done for us so far.
Anyone know what Bentleys 'personal' problems are all about? So many rumours about players but not heard a single one about why he is having such a nightmare off the pitch which he reckons is the reason for his nightmare on it. His Bentley married?
This David Bentley character sounds like a real hoot...
...Who is he exactly?
Bentleys head hasn't been straight from the start, but don't believe it has anything to do with personal problems. He came down here, had a lively pre season and then gradually turned to shit thanks to his inability to just play to his strengths rather than play like a superstar. He is one of the most infuriating players we've got. Everyone knows he can play and he can score and he can assist. Yet he has failed miserably to do any of that, apart from the wonder goal at AG and well nothing else until the two goals against Arsenal in the reserves which don't count for anything.
Harry couldn't even fix him even though he gave Bentley a long run in the team.
Carl - Bentley was being played out of position. To be fair to the lad it seems some people are willing to accept Bale and his troubled season and place the blame on circumstance and age but then write-off Bentley completely.
Bale and Bentley. A match made in heaven.
Even when Bentley has played IN position he's been shit. His delivery and his effort has been apologetic at the best of times. Has a look of sorryness about him.
1882, Exactly. He has shown little payback for the outlay. Not impressed. Can't see him staying. Stupid signing in the first place.
Definately time to let both go - we need winners on the team!
Quantum Sequence? Haha, sounds about right.
Funny stuff..
Personally I don't subscribe to this "low on confidence" bollox.. they are professionals, they get paid to be professionals so when they skip out onto the WHL turf they should forget there troubles and their woes and go do the business.
Show ponies like Bale and Bentley who clearly have all the requisite skills just need a reality check.
Things can change pretty quickly in football. Bentley proved he has talent when at Blackburn. He might fancy himself and might have some form of mental block at the moment with his constant attempts at playing like Beckham, for the camera, but he has natural ability and when on form he can plant in a cross to perfection. He will come good, mark my words.
Personal problems and professional footballers. It happens. Collymore, Gascoigne...there are plenty of examples. But imagine being able to put it all aside and kick a ball around for 90 minutes. Can't think of better therapy.
Superb!
Out with Bale and Bentley? Don't be silly.
The article is funny but it also highlights some of the problems with some fans - we pay over the odds for average players then give them ten minutes before starting on a campaign to get rid of them. Once we have belittled them, moaned about them and told the world they are rubbish, we then moan louder and longer when they are sold for half what we paid for them. There are good examples where average players are sold at a profit - Berbatov and Keene are good examples and personally I would have preferred buying Arshavin rather than bringing Keene back home. But look at some of our alarming failures - Andy Read, our aswer to our left side problems until he arrived then he was fat, slow and useless. Pavlyunchenko scored for fun and looked great in Russia, we buy him, moan about him and will end up losing £5 million when we sell him. The same with Bent - a player for the future when bought, now worth £8 million tops because we tell the world he's a rubbish player. Hutton has been criticised, Dawson got loads of stick, Rocha's value is probably halved, Kaboul could have been the new Ledley King but did we support and encourage him? No the usual moans about his mistakes and what a bad player he was. There were other players who were supposed to be the future of our team then were dumped for a pittence - Zamora, Etherington, Davies whilst every report I read slags off Zokora, Jenas and Assou Ekotto. I'm sure if we bought Torres from Liverpool the fist thing supporters would say is - he's too slow, too fat, can't pass. can't shoot or is lazy. What happened to the days when supporters did exactly that - supported?
Not sure the fans are at fault for the likes of Rocha and Gilberto (remember him?).
Vic, good post. I see what you're saying but I'm not sure it's as clear cut as you present it. Yes, we (a minority) of Spurs fans (or maybe its a majority, I don't know) do tend to knee-jerk. An example is the abuse Carrick got just because he came from West Ham and didn't tackle like a Roy Keane. It took a while for most to see he didn't need to tackle as he possessed the uncanny ability to nick the ball off peoples feet before they set off on a run. We have plenty of fans who call players by one name.....'c*nt'. No patience, but its probably down to a nervous disposition than actually believing all our players are rubbish. Even Modric was getting negative shouts and opinions early season. I don't think we can argue against the fact that modern day supporters tend to be moody shits.
I think Bent was always going to have problems because of his price tag, but as Spurs have a history of signing 'player of the moment' type of players, and fans tend to always pin their hopes on them, its always going to get messy in the end. Bent was never made to play for a team like Spurs and because he is not what we expect from a forward, he's made to be the fall guy - even though he scores. IMO, I dont think he's right for us, but I won't ever boo the bloke. I will point out when I think he's been ineffective or equally if he has impressed.
Again, falls back to exceptions. We have high ones at Spurs as fans, so we are to blame in part.
Thing with Zamora, and Etherington and the likes of Davis is that they were simply not good enough.
Zokora and Jenas are players that will forever divide opinions.
BAE has proven most wrong with his consistency. He's even impressed me.
genius. hilarious. better than the story of adebayor and bale going trainer shopping together by miles.
I enjoyed it. Must have missed the Adebayor story.
We need strength in depth. Utd, Chelsea, Liverpool....they have it. Our players should avoid tantrums associated with the usual 'I want to be first choice' by default and fight to be first choice. Competition will make us stronger.
Only an idiot would write off Bale and as for Bentley - get behind him, support him, because it will make it easier for you to sing his name when he comes good.
"I'm sure if we bought Torres from Liverpool the fist thing supporters would say is - he's too slow, too fat, can't pass. can't shoot or is lazy."
Not the first thing I would say personally.
Is it possible if the page can be made to fit my 800x600 resolution that I'm forced to comply with at work, Spooky? Possibly using % widths?
Linni, when you wrote "Have no iota of a clue why I found that funny, but I'm left wanting more" you must have read my mind.
As for WTF writing "we can do without this type of negative shit especially from a supposed Tottenham supporter", I can only presume you have had a sense-of-humour-ectomy or your sense of irony is too subtle for me.
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This is the Spooky we know and love. Still think the medication is way too strong though.
I hope we get a part II.
masterpiece!!!
Bentley and Bale are class and shouldn't be sold in the summer. We need to stop shaking up the squad every six months, let everyone get a good run together, and move forward ONLY after a full season together as a squad. There has been way too much "transition" time. We are already top 6 quality but we aren't gonna get any world class players to sign for us until we get some continuity as a squad, and I'm talking about at LEAST one full season. There is no sense in buying a 10-20 million pound man for our squad when we are full of em! Keep the squad as is over the summer and lets give everyone a full season's run before we do something stupid. Don't forget that Bale is young and immensely talented and that Bentley was playing centre mid under that loser Ramos!
Spurs are a rich club - you can afford to write-off a Bentley...
LOLZ0R