My question is, does Ramos know who Stewart Downing is? Does he know what type of player he is? Is he a Levy/Comolli signing or has our new manager had some input on this? I wonder how the conversation went....

Comolli: Hi. I got a player for you.

Ramos: A central defender?

Comolli: No.

Ramos: Another right-back? A central defender?

Comolli: No. No.

Ramos: Defensive midfielder?

Comolli: Nope.

Ramos: Keeper!!! Keeper!!!

Comolli: No.

Ramos: Please, not another...how do you say....sarding...

Comolli: ...sodding...

Ramos:.....sodding striker.

Comolli: No.

Ramos: What? What do you have?

Comolli: A left winger.

Ramos: Riiiiiight. That is exactly what we need this moment. Good thinking. Who?

Comolli: Downing.

Ramos: dos Downing? Mexican?

Comolli: Nope. From Middlesbrough.

Ramos: (laughs) Oh, you are serious. What are his abilities?

Comolli: He cant beat a man, will never be world-class, sometimes inconsistent but can cross the ball. Will frustrate fans.

Ramos: Ok. A squad player. For backup?

Comolli: No. First teamer. Big signing.

Ramos: How much for this Drowning?

Comolli: £12M. More if we can get Boro to take the money.

Ramos: You are fucking shit at your job, do you know that?

Comolli: Your English has improved.

Ramos: Call me a taxi.