Five minute update

Had to take the day off work. Not spent that much time on-line other than fleeting looks here and there. I've been dealing with projectile vomiting and diarrhoea. Baby isn't well, bless her. And having projectile vomited myself listening to the verbal diarrhoea of the resident workplace Arsenal fans yesterday, I thought it best to remain home today and sing Spurs lullabies to my daughter. And whilst she sleeps off the virus spend the time constructively, removing items of ghastly clothing from her drawers, as the missus still doesn't quite grasp the concept of 'never red'.

No Spurs game this weekend, thanks to the capitulation at Fulham that appears to have sent Alan Hutton into exile. If you're wondering, he's currently on a remote island with no means of escape punching in numbers every 108 minutes.

Talking of the Cup, good luck to Harry Kane and co over at Brisbane Road. There's a match going on there that our loaned trio are involved in. Apparently.

Blackpool up next for us. And I guess its all eyes on the fabled European Hangover. Something we've hardly suffered from and shouldn't really look to fall back on it as an excuse considering the 'rest' we have until we play them.

Sandro and Palacios in the middle again? Not for this game. Attack, relentlessly attack. No need for clever, cultured and canny dismantling here. Look to score more than them, although it would be equally mature to go there and win 1-0 or 2-0. Doubt we'll keep a clean sheet, simply because of the type of tempo the game will be played at. And we're going to concede from a set-piece, right? Ian Holloway's men fighting for the lives. Pound for pound, we need to show our quality and out box them. Knock-out punch. Although if we do happen to underestimate their plucky resistance, then happy to slug it out to remain in the top four. Make the ones looking up at us sweat a little more.

Back to the midweek win, at this rate a DVD box-set of our CL adventures could probably go towards funding a viable version of the NDP. Or perhaps we could build one or two of the new stands out of unsold copies of The Opus and save on cost. You'll have noticed the quiet removal of all the Northumberland rhetoric from the official site. Northumberland what you say? I don't know. Never happened, did it?

At least the 'S' word has crawled back into it's spacious cave in East London. I can't even recall a single sound bite from Brady in the past week or so. Happy days. However, have had one or two Hammers iron out an opinion in my direction.

"We're moving into a 60k all seater", they smugly tell me.

I guess they're make up the numbers by inciting Orient fans from across the road. Perhaps they could even look to start the migration a little early, get them in the mood. All those unsold tickets and half-season tickets, no need for empty seats at Upton Park. Not while there's Prem football on offer.

Elsewhere:

Gattuso 'afters' continue to dominate most of the post-Milan chat. Joe Jordan denies he said anything racist to provoke the hairy Italian. Still loving the footage of him punching the pitch. No, hold up, you've mis-read that. I'm not suggesting Jordan punched Gattuso. Although I'm not alone in thinking the Milan captain behaved like a female dog.

Ibra apparently lifted Bassong up with one arm in the tunnel in more post-match face-offs. Too hot to handle off the pitch. In Dawson's back pocket on it.

Champions League final prices have been released. £26 admin charge on tickets that will range from £150 - £300. Doubled the prices of last seasons final. Football: The peoples game. UEFA deny rumours that a large Coke will cost £79.

Connor Wickham. He scored a hat-trick. In the Championship. Tag him with a £15M price and link him with Tottenham. Don't shoot the messenger but I reckon there's a probability of him joining. I'll confirm the percentage after the press conference for the club he signs for towards the start of next season.

More BAE positivity. Waiting on Hansen to review his opinions. Heads up, interview on this weeks Football Focus with the coolest man in the game (Ekotto, not Alan).

Bale's return. His proper return. Meant to be AC Milan at home. I just wet myself. The good type of wet. The Italians will no doubt come with a game plan to score an early goal. No need for us to contain and counter. Width with Lennon and Bale. Trickery with Luka. Leadership with vdV. Take the game to them. No fear. Something we should make them regret after their reluctance to go for our jugular in the first leg. They are no mugs, even though they behaved like mugs at the San Siro. We should take nothing for granted. Attack them as if we're the ones losing one nil on aggregate.

Corluka. Not as bad as it looked when he was stretched off. Back in training soon. Someone not back in the side any time soon is Huddlestone. Apparently, not fit to run yet. Massive shame.

Woodgate. Out injured (shock horror) after his cameo. As if the footballing Gods were ever going to allow us to have another CB available for selection.

And finally, Jenas has tweeted. Got a white Bentley for his birthday. Giving 'em away, those Bentleys. Just giving 'em away.

Peace. Out.

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