League of Lilywhites - UPDATE

I have been inundated with membership requests for the League of Lilywhites. That’s something I would wish to state, but at this current moment in time, the truth is I’ve had just a pathetic 9 emails. One of which was from a farmer declaring his love for donkey sex and another from my bank requesting I hand over my credit card details for security purposes.

I will continue to perceiver and will update you all next week.

Membership requests to: spooky @ conspiracyjunkie dot com

The next 'nearly signing'

Never seen him play, but must be good cause he's got tattoos

Martin Jol is ready to add to his summer spending after bidding around £5million for controversial Hertha Berlin midfielder Kevin-Prince Boateng.

The 20-year-old's attacking qualities have made him one of the Bundesliga's most talked about newcomers and he has attracted an offer from Sevilla as well as Tottenham.

But the Germany Under 21 star is renowned just as much for his outspoken approach off the pitch after calling himself the Ghetto Kid, in a reference to his upbringing in a poverty-stricken district of Berlin, and covering his arms in tattoos.

Hertha boss Dieter Hoeness responded to Sevilla's £2m offer for Boateng by revealing the club had received a £5m bid from another club, believed to be Spurs.

Boateng, who has a Ghanaian father and German mother, has enjoyed a rapid rise to prominence during a run of 43 Bundesliga appearances and is rated one of the German league's most creative talents.

This would be a quinessential Levy signing. Young, athletic and with a potentially decent re-sale value. By all accounts Boateng is a fiery lad with a massive ego (think Gahly with actual ability....though that's still not saying much).

A quick search of transfer rumour sites will list various links to the player dating back to the 9th May. So, someone is obviously dithering. I'd rather he signed for Sevilla (who have had a £2M bid rejected because we have apparently offered £5M) than have to put up with another Diego Ribas da Cunha'esque transfer rollercoaster.

Much needed metal for central midfield position. Though not quite the leader/defensive midfielder we need.

I'll consider this signing a sexy risk. The sexisk Boateng could bring to us that Gascoigne element that we have lacked for so long.

However, Sevilla (and Champions League Football) would suggest that Levy may fail on this particular transfer. But then, its also dependent on whether the La Liga side wish to up their bid by a further £3M or so.

Still no sign of a left-winger. Unless you believe the Petrov stories doing the rounds. Which I dont.

ENIC bid for 100%

If you've taken a close look at the Spurs site and the financial press you would have noticed that ENIC are looking to acquire 100% of the club shares, thus destroying any chance of a hostile take-over from some off-shore billionaire or to help give the club the required swagger and big balls to possibly help with future financing and the potential of ground expansion (by selling 49% after getting their hands on the lot).

Thread of interest here:

http://glory-glory.co.uk/forums/thread/162360.aspx

I'm going to be subjective with this and not jump down the throat of Levy and ENIC simply because of their shabby handling of fans in other matters (will get to this in a moment).

So, for the time being, I will say that in some ways this new tactic by the club is a good thing, which would mean I would be concluding (by proxy) that Levy is doing a 'good thing' for Spurs, and thus for me.

So its a good thing in principle.

Its difficult to be sure at this point what their goal is, so along with my subjectiveness, I will also remain patient and wait to see what their end game is rather than speculate like some coked-up Daily Mirror reporter copy and pasting a 16 year olds opinion from a forum.

As for the shabby handling, I am of course referring to the booking of tickets online whereby we are no longer able to select our seats using Seatbooker. You can now only select the block - and seats are then allocated by the club.

I refuse to accept this is hard evidence that we are moving to Wembley and that Seatbooker have removed the option for the present in preparation for the future (where selecting/booking a specific seat at Wembley isn't a realistic option for the club to be able to allocate fairly).

I personally think that the true reason is to defuse the potential upsurge of 'fan movement' behaviour of having 'groups' of like-minded Spurs fans together, controlling the vocal territory of a certain block. Not giving them the option to huddle together results in disbursement of said groups and breaks up the atmosphere making it difficult to potentially demonstrate, within the stands, in disgust of the teams abject performance(s).

Its these little things which get engulfed by the much larger things which is the crux of the battle ahead. Look between the lines at all times.

Bent scores on debut

A 3-1 away win at the mighty Stevenage, included a Darren Bent goal. No content for this blog other than the below picture (taken from Tottenhamhotspur.com) that includes a rather dapper looking Sopranoesque Martin Jol. I don't take note of friendlies, unless a player gets injured, which usually results in a shit-in-the-box being sent to the club on account of risking big players in small games. Apparently its 'illegal' and 'disturbing' to have such packages delivered to the training ground or the manager or chairman's home. Its 1984 all over, just without the UEFA Cup

Dapper Jol and some randoms

League of Lilywhites est. 2007

It’s time for a new world order. It’s time to re-define what it is to be a football fan. It’s time to put together a firm.

Now Danny Dyer maybe a part-time mockney West Ham fan, but respect to Britain’s finest method actor for having the balls to walk into the territories of the worlds hardest and largest firms. From the political former war ridden lands of Croatia and Serbia to the fanatical association clubs in Argentina. Whether it’s the neo-nazis of Italy or the gun-holders of Brazil, he’s been in the mix of all the naughty action from all four corners, making his original pilgrimage across England and Scotland appear bland in comparison.

Culturally, we simply don’t mass-produce the type of hatred and match day fanaticism that the South Americans or even the Polish are capable of. And excluding Celtic and Rangers and in some ways Utd and Liverpool (docks and unemployment) we also don’t come close to the hatred, for example, the Croatian and Serbian fans share.

Arguably, most of the time, the heydays of the 1980's were simply down to football, pure and simple. Spurs and Arsenal hate each other because of long forgotten arguments over a caravan being parked in our street. It’s not exactly biblical. Its a 'I hate you because thats what I'm meant to do' type of set-up.

So over here in England, it seems no excuse is needed other than ‘you support them lot’ to start a fight. Hooligans fight other hooligans because both sets wear opposing colours. Very little in the way of politics or religion or differences in social class. And firms are powerless in orchestrating any influence over the clubs they represent. You won’t find Spooky taking Danny Dyer on a tour of White Hart Lane and it’s trophy room anytime soon. Though it would be pretty pointless other than to show him the collection of spider-webs, including the ones that dates back to the sixties.

CCTV and over-the-top policing means that any fighting is pre-arranged, making the mobile phone the most potent accessory for a modern day English thug. England is Fight Club with beer guts and questionable fashion choices.

The anti-George Graham Protest of 1998 when the burning of a season ticket got out of hand

Yes, it still kicks off, but this isn’t the 1970’s and 80’s. The modern fan sometimes prefers to take his bird to the game and enjoys the odd pill or line of coke now and again rather than constantly drowning in warm lager. The modern fan likes to do all the gesturing and shouting of abuse and ‘giving it some’ without the actual physical contact of punches, kicks and Stanley knives...then rushes home to knock-one out over the Football Factory or The Firm (not the one with Tom Cruise, or maybe depending on which way you are inclined).

It’s all rather embarrassing. And while some firms take pride in being hooligans for life, it doesn’t serve an actual purpose other than the adrenaline rush that comes with fighting. Which, granted, is more than half of what it's all about. But it doesn’t result with us getting our own supporters clubs like in Holland. And it doesn’t empower us in any way. And if you’re caught fighting, you’re banned from your home ground and its practically game over. It's zero tolerance resulting in an underground culture.

Spooky, during the 'Hoddle' Riots of 2003

Its time to re-define things. Step aside Spurs Yoof and Trevor Tanner.

Modern day English hooliganism is dead. Its now time for a new era. Let's take the swaggering off the suburban streets and alley ways and onto the information superhighway.

I am proud to officially announce that memberships to a new modern-day football firm are now open to all fanatical fans of Tottenham Hotspur. The unveiling of our badge of honour and the avatar that each member will possess will be presented in the near future on this blog. And the name of this firm?

'League of Lilywhites'

This is unlike any other firm on the planet. This firm cannot be seen by CCTV or chased by police dogs. This firm cannot bleed or be ambushed. This firm laughs in the face of tear gas. This firm sits behind a firewall of passion. This firm looks over the domains of football forums and instead of broken bottles and led pipes, we use a biting emoticon and the reply button.

This firm is online and connected.

The League of Lilywhites are the new generation. A cyber Yid army of relentless browsing and posting. And no DOS attack, IP Ban or DNS look-up can intimidate us.

Our ethos:

• To remain unequivocally committed to the club and its history, placing its importance above chairman, manager and players

• To keep an eye on Daniel Levy, purely through Internet connectivity, where restraining orders and electronic tags do not exist
  

• To continue to address the chairman via stern and insightful emails/letters retaining balanced and constructive opinions and viewpoints at all times without ever being offensive
  

• To stand our ground with club and opposing fan propaganda with well written blog entries and forum posts, as well as an active 'hit them hard' leaflet campaign and a potential future online fanzine
  

• To denounce any 'In the Know' charlatans and give them the humiliation they strongly deserve by using the Art of Flaming as our principle weapon of justice.
  

• To campaign against members-only Spurs forums who consider themselves 'elite', targeting their columnists and infiltrating their forums
  

• To overcome the growing threat of the Levy financed black-ops propaganda puppet regime - 'The Agents of Levy' (their principle aim is to disrupt the publics perception of the supporters and use dirty trick tactics to undermine fan politics, leaving us to appear fickle, indecisive and contradictory. Thus giving the power back to the board)
  

• To help retain a balanced middle ground between delusions of grandeur and knee-jerk depression on various Spurs Internet message boards.

• To decimate any opposing forum invasions to any online Tottenham stronghold

• To continue The War Against the Stewards (T.W.A.T.S.) and our fight to remain standing in the Park Lane during games
  

Our philosophy:

"Football forums are about glory, about posting with style and with a flourish, about going out and flaming the lot, not waiting for them to die of boredom" ~ Spooky, 2007

We post for the honour of the club, in the spirit of Harry Hotspur, with the grace of Danny Blanchflower, the strength of Dave Mackey and mentality of Bill Nicholson.

There we have it. We are both a political and interactive supporters group. We are not available for actual physical fights - though we are happy to have 'meet-ups' with opposing online firms in IRC or a newsgroup .

More information will follow, including the firms avatar...coming soon.

Fans wishing to become members of the League of Lilywhites firm, email me at (to be updated)

Kaboul Signs

"From day one he said 'I want to play for Spurs' and his personality made a big impression on Martin and myself. He has been a regular in the Auxerre first team for the past two seasons and is an excellent signing."

Manager Martin Jol added: "If you ask people in France who is seen as the hottest prospect in defence they will say Younes Kaboul. We are very happy to have him on board. It's important to have quality players in defence and with Younes, we have that."

tottenhamhotspur.com/news/articles/kaboulsigns.html

Hottest French prospect in defence apparently. Adding to the fact that we also signed Adel Taarabt early this summer on a full contract (after his loan period ended) we appear to be continuing with our collection of young 'potentials'.

Kaboul is the new Gallas. Taarabt is the new Zidane. And I'm Lord Lucan.

Will Spurs finally sign a left-winger? Will I write a love-letter proclaiming my love for Levy? Stay tuned for more.

Now now, Spooky. I did say I would be positive. So, here goes.

We've signed two defenders (one of which can play in midfield). We've also signed a midfielder and a forward. Squad depth has got stronger. Two of the signings are highly rated British players and the other two highly rated French players.

Yes, we've over-spent on one of them, but then over-spending will be the norm this summer due to the wonderful hordes of TV money available to one and all.

Let's hope that Kaboul doesn't follow the paths of the previous two highly-rated Auxerre defenders, Boumsong and Mexes.

So far, effigy burning avoided.

Spam

Received an email from the club this morning, entitled: 'One Hotspur Rewards - Let's get started!'. Except its impossible to see the content, apparently due to my browser not supporting HTML - which, is a crock of shit, because it does. The email doesn't work in either Firefox or IE. Selecting source reveals a link that suggests I use if I cant read the email.

Shock horror. The link doesn't work, displaying nothing more than a blank page.

Wonderful stuff. I'm guessing we can afford to splash out on £16M players on account of Levy cutting costs in the clubs IT department.

Whatever this email is, its probably not even worth the hassle. Probably nothing more than a message begging for us to spend our hard-earned cash in the Spurs shop.