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Monday
Dec052011

Enough of all this swagger and swashbuckle

I've exhausted all superlatives and find myself dizzy from sunstroke, what with the constant basking in the bright shining light that emanates from the heavens where Spurs currently reside. How many times am I expected to salivate over the form of Gareth Bale and Aaron Lennon? The untold chances created? The winning mentality crafted out of the desire to progress and reclaim lost Champions League love? The brilliance of little Luka Modric and his giant presence? The influence of Scott Parker? I'm human damn it, not a machine! So as I gather my thoughts and search through my battered thesaurus in the hope of finding replacements for over-used giddiness such as 'swagger' and 'swashbuckle', I've decided to review the 3-0 win over Bolton Wanderers by not actually referencing the game nor citing the momentum birthed from the current run of games that has seen us accumulate 31 points from a possible 33 (the pre-season friendlies against City and Utd obviously not included in that stat).

It's a bit left-field, but it's hardly the Da Vinci code. I'd ask you to enjoy it but you're probably busy reading this on your iPhone or Android whilst having Harry Redknapp's face tattooed on your back.

 

Epic Fail (revisited) - From September 2008.

Spurs 1 Aston Villa 2

What a shambles. I can't even be arsed to dwell too much on this miserable evening, so I'll stick to the main points.

We have three games in the space of a week. Villa, some Polish side and then Wigan on Sunday. So, what does Ramos do? He selects a disjointed and weakened side in arguably our toughest game of the three. Bentley dropped to the Bench, King rested completely. And selecting Huddlestone and Dawson to play against the pace and movement of Villa was a monumental **** up. Not helped by a typical Zokora display of complete non-existence, we sat back and watched Villa out run us, out move us, out pace us - the lot. Embarrassing.

Even when we did start to play possession football deep into the second half, there was still no end product. In fact the only person attempting end product is the one person who has no end product. Lennon.

 

Huddlestone in action for Spurs against Villa

 

The first Villa goal was scored when Huddlestone lost his man. The second, I'm not going to dwell on Gomes allowing the ball to slip under him. Gomes in the first half saved us from going into the dressing room at half-time, 4-0 down. Dawson was at fault for this one. That shot should never have been fired towards goal.

I didn't see Bent's consolation. I was already on my way out.

4 played, one draw, three defeats - two of them at home. Had we played a full strength team, I'm uncertain if the result would have been any different.

Now, you could argue losing Berbatov and Keane isn't something we are going to recover from in a handful of games. But you could also argue, that if Levy, Comolli and Ramos have been assembling this squad since the start of the summer, then resting players shouldn't result in such a shambolic performance. All tonight illustrates is that there is no true depth - which means, play the strongest side possible when a win is most needed. What we get instead is glue, sticking us to the bottom of the league.

 

                                                          Michael Dawson, falling over

Huddlestone should only be used as an impact sub on current form and mobility. Dawson if everyone else is injured. Zokora's over-hyped performance at Chelsea masked his deficiencies once more, for all of 5 minutes, before it dawned on the faithful that he is in fact ****ing gush. At least young Gio gave us some hope.

Poor Pav, upfront - running into space and behind defenders waiting for a ball that will never arrive. Again, its unfair to be critical of either Pav or Bent. At the moment they look too similar to be playing together - but they do need time to gel (or attempt to do so). So surely tactically, something should have been agreed upon, because if the tactic was hoofing the ball for someone to get their head on it and for someone else to run onto it, then **** are we ****ed.

I'm back at White Hart Pain on Thursday for more comedy. I live the life of a ****ing king, I do.

~ Spooky

 

Reader Comments (2)

Three wins from our last sixteen league games. Not a great stat. I agree tactically we were all over the shop. What is it with us and underachievement?

Sep 16, 2008 at 12:10 AM | Slamming Joe

We have nothing in midfield. There's no point in Modric if there's no hard nut defensive midfielder to look after him. The loss of K&B is devastating. Another 11th place finish is on the cards at this rate.

Sep 16, 2008 at 3:02 PM | Kings Dodgy Knee

Reader Comments (43)

alan hansen talking about our performance on match of the day

if you havent seen it, watch it

Dec 5, 2011 at 12:37 PM | Unregistered Commenterkoume2

Hell, if we keep this up we may start forming delusions around wining the league. Year ends up two 1s after all. Double power....

Dec 5, 2011 at 12:40 PM | Unregistered CommenterMispent Youth

Does 12 really end in two 1s? Seems I've been spelling it wrong all my life

Dec 5, 2011 at 1:19 PM | Unregistered CommenterPaul F

Quite a turn around since 2008. Some of the players are still with us. Does this tell us that a certain player has uplifed & motivated Spurs performance ?

Dec 5, 2011 at 1:23 PM | Unregistered CommenterRoy Singh

Gio gave us hope back then? Man, we were truly fucked.

Dec 5, 2011 at 1:28 PM | Unregistered CommenterChrisD

Not just Gio. I was actually disappointed in Bentley being benched.

Dec 5, 2011 at 1:31 PM | Registered Commenterspooky

Does 12 really end in two 1s? Seems I've been spelling it wrong all my life
Dec 5, 2011 at 1:19 PM | Paul F


In Scott Parker's calender, the year always ends in one #ScottParkerFacts

Dec 5, 2011 at 1:32 PM | Registered Commenterspooky

ah, those were the days...

Dec 5, 2011 at 1:32 PM | Unregistered Commenterjan

The addition of Parker and Adebayor has made a huge different to the team, both are huge improvements on what we had previously. I wasted a couple of hours of my life watching wolves v sunderland yesterday afternoon and I saw our old boy jamie o'hara charging around the pitch. A few years back I'd have been fairly neutral about seeing him in the starting xi, the thought of seeing a player of his calibre turning out for us at the moment makes me wake up at night in a cold sweat. We have moved on so far since the ramos era.

Dec 5, 2011 at 1:37 PM | Unregistered Commenterfreundwasaleg

Anyone want to start a chorus of 'We want our Tottenham back?'

Dec 5, 2011 at 1:38 PM | Registered Commenterspooky

It suddenly became very clear to me that my expectations and predictions for my beloved team were totally wrong.

How could we even think about CL with zokora, Hudd as CB, jenas, etc.

Even when he had Andy Sinton terrorizing defenders I thought we had a chance of a real go. We probably never had a better team than what we have today!

Dec 5, 2011 at 1:45 PM | Unregistered Commenterkrimatt

"Gio gave us hope back then? Man, we were truly fucked."

It was probably the last time he got a start in the Premiership...

Dec 5, 2011 at 1:56 PM | Unregistered CommenterAnon

@koume02 have you got a link for the Hansen comments mate? I've been trying to find 'em since I missed it. Can't find it or see the comments anywhere!

Dec 5, 2011 at 1:56 PM | Unregistered Commenter@danielbolden

Bring back Martin Jol!

Dec 5, 2011 at 1:58 PM | Unregistered CommenterMisterIx

Daniel: Hansen wanking at the end of the clip:

They'll never let you dooon.

http://www.101greatgoals.com/gvideos/tottenham-3-bolton-0-motd/

Dec 5, 2011 at 2:24 PM | Unregistered Commenterfrontwheel

The difference between this season and last season is the greater mobility of Adebayor, Parker and Walker compared with Crouch, Huddlestone and Corluka etc. These players allow the whole team to think and move quicker all over the pitch and make everyone else look that much sharper. Let's hope we don't lose them.

Dec 5, 2011 at 2:25 PM | Unregistered Commenterkiddo

speaking of which, where is huddlestone exactly??

Dec 5, 2011 at 2:43 PM | Unregistered Commenterkoume2

Hello Spooky :)
Anarchy in N17 it ain't (has "We Are N17" reformed?)...it's fathomable our fortune.

our manager identified 3 areas for improvement.
In another world it would be "see what u could have won"
But he and Levy hit the bull, got them in.. and the rest is well Parker, Adebayor and Friedel... and Modric staying...

So Aitch "went for gold" in his bid for England manager cred and improved short of half our team.

As for iPhones...The Spurs app gives me guaranteed live audio feed of all Spurs games.
It's really important to me given territorial restrictions on UK broadcasts. I don't sit down on the last train home listening because I resemble a neuronally-challenged oaf kicking imaginary oafs.

Long live the revolution

COYS

Dec 5, 2011 at 2:51 PM | Unregistered Commenteryidinjapan

One lousy point from 4 games? The beginning of the end or the end of the beginning (doesn't quite work, but you know what I mean). I can spy a break in those clouds though and some rays of sunshine breaking through.

But that bit about Bent and Pav sent shivers down my spine though.

Dec 5, 2011 at 3:13 PM | Unregistered CommenterMe again

At risk of sounding like an outright c@nt. I was well pissed off at how many chances were squandered, we need new strikers! And what is Gareth Bale think he is doing going in the middle, he's a winger. Geez. And Walker pushing up all the time, with BAE doing the same. Lennon you play right, why you go left. What is that short man doing scoring goals, aye? Oh yes, because the strikers won't do it....

But seriously, very good game. My only actual complaint is there weren't more goals...I was kind of hoping for a similar 9-1 as we did to wigan near this time 2 seasons ago. I still have the London Evening Standard, Monday 23 Nov, opened to pages 62 and 63 - "Kranjcar skill leaves Spurs on cloud nine"

Far more excited than words could say. I'm going to watch that MOTD clip again so I can listen to Alan Hansen whisper them dirty words into my ears. I remember he used to grind my gears, but he seems to know good footy when he sees it these days.

Cheatski and Arse fans have been telling me that we've been lucky so far. Never mind our far superior squad right? Game in hand, let's get to second now.

Oh and, sack Redknapp, bring back Zokora and get rid of Parker!

Dec 5, 2011 at 3:24 PM | Unregistered CommenterBim Spur

Zokora, Christ I thought for a minute he was back. Why am I still so nervous watching games. Shows what I have been used to I suppose. I cannot believe the movement in this team, it's mesmerizing. They turn defense into attack so sweetly and simply and their understanding of each others movement is pure hyperbolic. AAAnd if the moves breaks down, Parker is there to clear any danger and get the next move started. Is this real !!!!!

Dec 5, 2011 at 3:51 PM | Unregistered Commentercookiebun

......(the pre-season friendlies against City and Utd obviously not included in that stat).....

ROFL.. at work... (even) funnier looks than usual from the IT bods.... cheers spooky

Dec 5, 2011 at 3:55 PM | Unregistered Commenterfoxyf

It's all a bit boring, three games at home where the game wasn't in doubt, no thoughts of reforming TAG during the game and burning the chairman's bushes, no mediocre players to vent your anger on it's all been rather fun since that 9th goal went in at Old Trafford.

Dec 5, 2011 at 7:59 PM | Unregistered CommenterDD

Wondering when we will start seeing 'new-Spurs' fans what with all this sexy football.

But seeing as it was Hoddle and the 1981 cup run that made me chose Spurs, perhaps I can't really moan about it.

Dec 5, 2011 at 8:14 PM | Unregistered CommenterRichard Gianella

@Bim Spur,
I'm totally with you on that. We were quite mediocre with our finishing. But we terrorized that team.
It's incredible to know we're going to win within 20mins.

Dec 5, 2011 at 9:48 PM | Unregistered CommenterNochman

Spooky shouldn't it be a chorus of " We've got our Tottenham back...."
Another brilliant performance - just want to see all chances bagged ..... oh bliss!!!!
COYMS!!!!!

Dec 5, 2011 at 11:30 PM | Unregistered CommenterHighgatespur

Good argument. You've made a good point there. But, it's past, even if we reminisce it a million times, we can never change it.

Dec 6, 2011 at 4:43 AM | Unregistered CommenterDennis Paxton

Although delighted with our very good run, let's not get carried away.

Defoe should let his feet do the talking, and not big up our chances of winning the league.

I admit there's no harm in aiming high but let's keep the motivation and good spirits for when we really need it, say in Feb / March when we are still in with a shout, but results dont go our way, and we need to keep the faith.

I dont really care for bitter gooners or chelski who may make fun of us now, or if the media tout us as title challengers, but our guys must keep each game in focus. We ought to beat the teams in the lower half with ease, but we must raise our game for the top seven. To me, four games that are must-win (as a sign of progress):

Arsenal (A)
Chelsea (H)
Man U (H); and
City (A)
[I am trying to be realistic as I cannot expect us to win every remaining game, can I?]

I have never mentioned this before, but the media and press in Singapore are full of Man U, Arse, Liverpool and Chelski fans. Recently of course City fans have crawled out of the woodwork. There is scant or minimal mention of Spurs, except for this current amazing run and our exploits in the CL last year. Even the recent bad form of Arsenal, Liverpool and Chelski get more press. I admit I like us being viewed as low-key, as it allows us to get about our business without fanfare.

COYS

Dec 6, 2011 at 6:05 AM | Unregistered CommenterFocussed from Singapore

The problem I have is that it's inevitible that at some point we will lose (probably at Stoke on Sunday).
That's when the media will start to slate us again and all the Gooners, United, Chelsea and even Liverpool fans will think that us 3 points guarantees them CL football next season at our expense.

I love what we're seeing at the moment, but even at 2-0 I still fear a quick response will see us drop the points.
Take Villa last week. Had their finishing been better we'd have been a goal down in the first 2 mins and even pegged back within the same timeframe in the 2nd half.
Granted, Bolton offered sod all in terms of threat this weekend, so I was never particularly concerned.

Speaking of Villa, apparently Opta stats are showing that Bent has the fewest touches per game of any PL player - average of 24 touches per game. That's shocking.......

Dec 6, 2011 at 10:30 AM | Unregistered CommenterWalkerboy

I think we are really being helped this season by teams having a go - last season the whole lower half of the table would play for the draw, this season everybody except Villa seem to be having a go at us and all the other big teams. The pace of our attacks is pretty special, Azza's goal came from their corner, four touches later it's in the back of the net.
We should have beaten them by more - finishing was pretty poor especially from Defoe (though at least he's getting himself in good positions) - we'll have to be more clinical against better teams. It was a strangely unsatisfying 3-0 win - but then i guess that's the point of the article - if we are dissatisfied with a 3-0 win we must be pretty good and bloody amazing compared to what we were! Just need to keep the wins coming in.

Dec 6, 2011 at 11:51 AM | Unregistered CommenterMattspurs

Check this out-pure Christmas No1 Gold. I love this I do.

http://youtu.be/cOZWOtjPqPE

Dec 6, 2011 at 2:28 PM | Unregistered Commenterjohnnycheshunt

enjoy it people, just enjoy it

Dec 6, 2011 at 7:21 PM | Unregistered CommenterArchibaldArrows

It's sometimes nice to reminisce about bygone days and not think they were special - things we can't live up to. So much better to outstrip the past and build our dreams on the future.

The pessimist in me worries about the lack of rotation resulting in tiredness and injuries just when it matters most. The optimist in me sees the pace we're setting and can't see anything going wrong because the display and results are just so captivating.

Dec 6, 2011 at 7:27 PM | Unregistered CommenterTrembly

The problem is Spooky their ain't no problem.
Normally we have plenty of problems to soak up our time and energy.
Nowadays we have plenty of time to think of new ones.

Brilliant on Saturday when Friedel crashed into goalpost and got up
as if nothing had happened.
The game would have had to be called off
if that had been Heuralho.

Dec 6, 2011 at 7:33 PM | Unregistered CommenterJimmyG2

I told ya this would happen !!

Dec 6, 2011 at 8:51 PM | Unregistered Commentercoys

Trembly, Jan is not that far off. We need to bolster the squad and we need to start introducing Sandro into the fold more often allowing Parker to rest a little because no doubt come Feb/March we'll need to really push on to retain that top 4/3 place. Or more.

But it's true. Enjoy it. We might be onto something very special. Not point in worrying about the potential for it to go belly up.

Dec 6, 2011 at 9:12 PM | Registered Commenterspooky

There is no way the squad will be bolstered in January. Whether or not it should be is a different point, but it wont be. We are maxed out on the wage bill. In fact my expectation would be that we will slim down. Dont forget Jenas, Bentley and Caulker all managed to inure themselves out of their season long loans and back to the club (what is it with our players? They even manage to get injured at other clubs, so it cant be all our fault!).

Pav, Kranc, Pienaar will go somewhere for sure (probably loan). If Daws gets fit, I wouldnt be surprised to see Gallas let go for one very last pay day (although frankly I'd keep him and let Daws go based on the last 12 months). But Pav, Kranc and Pienaar combined dont pay for an Adebayor, while Parker must be on big money (I was shocked to learn recently that he is on a FOUR YEAR deal - so while its great having him paying like he is today for 60k a week, it aint gonna look so great when he's 35!)

I really dont see anyone at all coming in

Dec 7, 2011 at 12:59 PM | Unregistered CommenterPaul F

RIP Title Challenge

Dec 7, 2011 at 1:49 PM | Registered Commenterspooky

There is no reason why we shouldn't beat Stoke. We are the better team.

Anyway, I wanted to throw this out there: I think we need to get a backup winger. If Lennon or BAle get hurt now, it will hurt our style of play as much as (or even more than) if ADe gets hurt. We need someone quick, a good crosser, someone that wants to make a mark. I say we shd go for Marc Albrighton. He's hurt us before, he'll be quite cheap, he can play on either wing...and McLeish hasn't the slightest idea of what to do at Villa. If I were a young player at Villa, I would be wanting out!
So what do yall think? Backup winger? We have none right now, Pienaar and Kranjcar are not really hardworking on the wing, and Niko may be leaving anyway.

Hide and seek? Where has 'ziegemonster' gone? The Harryhaters are in hiding! YAY! Lets just keep on counting (the Ws) and never stop to look for them.

Dec 7, 2011 at 6:26 PM | Unregistered CommenterNochman

For January I think we will be linked with everyone but only buy Cahill as he is cheap young british and the selling club are in a bad position to negotiate. Unfortunately that will mean our 'title challenge' will go down the pan as a result unless Ade is bionic or something.

Dec 7, 2011 at 10:12 PM | Unregistered Commentercoys

Off to Tokyo in the morning and will be denied access to live coverage. (anyone knows where I can get to see a game then let me know...I have been looking but cannot find anything but an Ye Olde English Pubbe in Meguro run by a Chelsea fan).

As for our season, well..... I am just so f****** happy.

Dec 7, 2011 at 10:43 PM | Unregistered CommenterJack

@ Jack: Send me an e-mail to changchinseong@yahoo.com for an assorted host of links to choose from for the away game at Stoke ;-)

Dec 8, 2011 at 9:26 AM | Unregistered Commenterchangchinseong

@PaulF regarding the injuries to Jenas, Caulker & Bentley, that's what insurance is for. Apparently Villa may have to still fork out for Jenas wages, but as a general rule I believe the insurance company pays out to cover a serious injury. Caulker is back at Swansea now anyway and is expected to play this weekend.

I personally don't expect many changes in January. If anything, more will go out on loan. I do expect a new CB to come in as that's the weakest area should we get any more knocks.

Dec 9, 2011 at 11:30 AM | Unregistered CommenterWalkerboy

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