Living with the Enemy (and Bruce Springsteen)
Tuesday, April 13, 2010 at 8:54PM by guest-blogger Tricky
The thing about North Londoners is that there are two sides to the extended ‘family’, the ‘forces of good’ and those from the ‘forces of evil’.
There are many amongst us who have families with representatives from both sides. Call it a ‘quirk of genetics’, ‘rebellion against the good’, ‘the black sheep of the family’ or just plain ‘getting it so horribly wrong’. There are those for whom ‘never red’ derives more literary connotations than anything else.
I have bona fide relatives who come from both sides of the track, and so for many years have learnt how to deal with conversing with the ‘forces of evil’. Additionally, work, and life in general, has also has led to my meeting many more ‘gooners’, some of who appear on the surface to be thoroughly decent chaps, and dare I say it, some I even get on well with and like as people outside of football.
But all that means nothing at least twice a year when the finely honed the ability to deal with them in a manner that allows, at the very least, moral higher ground rears its head. When ‘bragging rights’ and other such choice phrases start being banded about by the media hacks in a pre-emptive stylee.
The thing is, with all the arguments and counters from both sides that our aspirations would have us join them (or preferably replace them) at the top of the footballing elite in the seemingly mythical ‘top4’, the ephemeral ‘goose that laid the golden football’.
But a word of caution, perhaps we should be careful what we wish for, as we all wish to see success at our beloved WHL, but at what price?
The thing that I have learnt the most from decades of banter is that both sides see their frailties, but it is only the white side that are sufficiently open enough to acknowledge it to others. The red side are more blissful in their belligerence and denial.
And to be fair, it’s not their fault that they have believed every press statement from their club, and more specifically their manager.
And it’s not their fault that the timing of the stadium rebuild and the costs were to go silk glove in sweaty hand with the deepest recession for many decades, and so it’s understandable that the squad are not the ‘tour de force’ they used to be 5 years ago. And Ok they never really replaced Patrick Vieira, mostly due to financial constraints and this ‘grand plan’.
And so what if their stadium has hampered their ability to compete with players wages and transfer fees with the real top clubs in the last few years, and who cares if all it has done is attracted plastic fans who are no more loyal to the Brand of ‘Goon FC’ than they are to ‘Ted Baker’. And so what If the atmosphere at the library was non-existent, then the Effeminates has more ‘corporate ’ who arrive just in time for their amuse bouches and entrees rather than to join in with the singing a song of support for their boys in red (and I use the term ‘boys’ quite deliberately here’).
And let’s be honest, when it comes to what the usual noise levels are like, please don’t ask a spurs fan (after all he’ll more than likely be biased) just ask ‘The Boss’ himself, who had to introduce additional soundproofing to put a gig on at the effeminates. Clearly noise pollution hasn’t been a problem before now.
The Boss: What do you mean I’m too noisy for you?
But it is worth noting that not all goon fans are that trusting of the powers that be, in the main they bitch amongst themselves, with the fans sitting it one of two camps, the ‘AKB’ or (‘Arsene knows best’) and ‘the real world’.
Spotting an AKB is quite easy, usually you can approach them from the side as the blinkers will prevent them from seeing anything that isn’t presented to them.
In fact approaching them from straight ahead is also easy if they will be sporting the latest pair of 'deludavision Dennis Bergkamp 2010 edition denial sensitive sunglasses'.
Please bear in mind that an AKB will also not see the most obvious flaw in their manager, his deliberately obtuse and condescending attitude which keeps coming back to slap him in the face. Or at least it would if any hack has the balls to point out that he is a living breathing contradiction at times.
This can be most exemplified by his persistent whinging, take the it’s not fair we have to play against a team who has had a break midweek, when other (top4) teams are all playing someone who have played a midweek game earlier this season.
Do we now see Fergie and Ancellotti moaning about how unfair the schedule is as the goons now have to play a team that will be tired from an FA Cup semi only three days before? Do we hear it yet? No? Why not? Because it’s all part of the game, and playing fixtures over the course of a season you whinging pasty faced turd.
The main issue the goon fans seem to have is this; they cannot see that their greatest strength (their manager) is in fact also their Achilles Heel.
Each manager has his limitations and the fact is that Whinger over the years has turned into his own parody, an AKB will not only not see this (ironic, huh?) but will refuse to accept it even from a non-AKB goon supporter trying to make sure that not all of his fellow fans appear to be the sort of pizza faced belligerent window licker who tragically is probably now eligible to vote. This two-facedness by their manager has been shown on many an occasion.
(It is perhaps both ironic and unfortunate that in their collective failing they have shown that Spurs fans greatest asset is their ability to see, and point out on a regular basis, the problems of successive managers, without considering the value of ‘stability’).
This of course does not mean that those Goons who sit in ‘the real world’ aren’t in denial about their teams failings, far from it. Rose-tintedness can exhibit itself at any time during any given conversation.
The “We’re not a team of divers” debate for example – one of my favourites, and perhaps even more so, given the aforementioned propensity for generally contradictory statements by their Alzheimer riddled manager. When in 2006 Whinger suggested that players who dived should be banned little did he know that only three years later when playing Celtic, a certain Mr Eduardo would perform a dive that not only was blatant but registered 5.9’s from three European judges clinching him the bronze medal position. Subsequently he would describe the banning of one of his players who blatantly dived as a ‘witch hunt’.
Still, it has been said before and probably not for the last time, 'life’s not without its sense of irony sometimes’, the potential for rhyming slang with his choice of words alone is worth noting.
And so to round up this rambling there are a few more points worth remembering, should they be raised in some banter in the next 24 hours:
- The 2005 cup final, goons undeserved victors by playing 120 minutes of anti-football
- Theo Walcott / Wingnutt / Walnutt – he is to the goons what Jenas is to our team
- Whinger = Wengker = Myopic cheese eating surrender monkey
- Theirry Henry – works on a number of levels especially when in an Irish pub
- The fact that the ‘kids’ in the ‘cup team’ is now the biggest fallacy in the EPL today. Unfortunately a myth still perpetuated by the media, who have conveniently failed to notice that it is not what it was over 5 years ago when they were winning other stuff, it has now graduated into being ‘kids blended with experience’ or some other crass title that basically means ‘1st team with a few rested and a couple of youth team members thrown in’ or more than likely ‘a balance of 1st team starting and second choice members’
- 5-1 in the Carling Cup; Fabianski, Sagna, Justin Hoyte, Gallas, Traore (Eduardo 65), Hleb, Denilson (Fabregas 18), Silva, Diaby, Walcott (Adebayor 65), Bendtner. Bet you don’t recognise any of their ‘yoof’ from that day a couple of years back, see above
- Carling Cup winners 2008, more recent silverware of note: FACT. (and if they say ‘its not real cup’, ask them if they would be saying cup double had they actually won both domestic cup, or would they just call themselves FA Cup winners, or maybe that doesn’t count either in their weird world)
When is a cup not a cup? When it’s a domestic cup (according to some that is)
You see the single thing that IS entirely their own fault, is in believing the hype (something of course that we could never be accused of, clearly). After all to have the bitterness of defeat and disappointment you have to have tasted victory.
And when not winning anything, but financial stability is the end goal of the club, as I said earlier, 'perhaps we should all be careful what we wish for', as hollows victories are exactly that.
I shall leave all 'battle cries' to spooky, safe in the knowledge that sooner or later our time, as inevitably one day it will, will come. Maybe not this year, maybe not in my lifetime, but everything goes in cycles, sooner or later.
After all, that's why we have kids. Isn't it?
Reader Comments (34)
Good luck spurs for tomorrow nights game. I gotta read this post later as im zonked da fudge out.
Instead of booing boring old sol tomorrow night, we should boo all the dirty arsenal players, as we dont like any of them. That way none of them will wanna touch the ball, and all the spurs players will be confident in possession.
IF YOUR AT THE GAME TOMORROW NIGHT - BOO THEM ALL - ARSENAL WONT WIN
Something many of us have to deal with the Gooner in the family or in the worst case scenario being the one to rebel against the rest of the gooners in the family. I know a guy who was from a family of Woolwich supporters and his dad would only pay for his ticket if he went to watch the Woolwich but refused to pay for him to watch spurs, so he had to deal with the odd game and reserve games. This backfired later when granted a couple of tickets for a certain cup semi final in 91 and he refused to give his old man a ticket, it was however with the spurs fans.
Things change with the generations and I used to watch the woolwich, orient and spurs (mostly), it was acceptable then and it was something that changed in the 80's. Hunter Davies used to do it until he was recongnised as the spurs fan who used to go to see them lose.
I cant believe our Lennon has broken down again if he was a car a Toyota we would get a new car. How the hell is this Happening we have one player trawling the World looking for a cure one living in the scan machine more bad ankles. Are we Jinxed or is ist when the going gets tough our lads get injured . I said Lennon would be a waste of time resting if he has a hernia then he cant use weights and the groin will be sore my argument is this steven Gerrard is playing through the pain barrier so why cant Lennon. And why are we asking for Richards when City will come hunting our players I said well before Lennon got injured he had bean Tapped well i hope and pray this is way off the truth he is the best player we have for a long time and a one of speed machine sombody should lose there job over this . Another thing the scouser our ex secretary has gone to. Utd What Tapping up did he do before he left
NLD is not as glamorous as it used to be. why? 'coz of your shity team. Who's gonna be interested in watching a game that the outcome is pretty much predictable? I think I don't have to remined you the history as you always know it well.
Funny how times change.
My father who is almost 80 was brought up in Edmonton and has always supported Arsenal but he and his mates would go to Highbury one week and WHL the next.
Apparently, in those days glory-hunting had not been invented. You supported your local side so it had to be us or them but a group of them ( some Arse supporters and some Spurs) would go to all of both teams home games.
Even now, he has no dislike for Spurs and if we are playing a Northern team in a major game he will support us.
Not sure why he has this North/ South divide, but he always supports the Southern team
The only time I have ever supported the Arse was when they played the Spammers in the cup final. I was brought up in East London, most of the kids supported the spam and so for me, they were a bigger problem than the Arse. Needless to say the Arse lost the final!
When my son was born, I made sure he supported the Lilywhites. Not sure if he has forgiven me yet!
Often wonder if my father was disapointed that I did not support the Arse. Its not something wev'e ever discussed.
I'll be starting tomorrow's game lads. For the Arsenal that is.
I'll be especially keen to get forward and grab a goal from a set piece, at the ground i once called home.
Yours Freely - Sol Campbell
Nice write up Trickster.
BOSMAN- I DO HOPE HE PLAYS.
APPEARS TO BE ON THE EDGE OF A TOTAL MENTAL BREAKDOWN. LETS HOPE TOMORROWS RECEPTION TIPS HIM OVER THE EDGE.
BROOK - ANY BRITISH PLAYERS IN YOUR TEAM TOMORROW ? CAN'T IMAGINE YOUR MERCENARIES ARE AWARE WHAT A NLD IS.
SUPPOSE YOU WILL HAVE YOUR YOUTH TEAM OUT TOMORROW AS SAVING YOUR FIRST TEAM FOR THE CHAMPIONS LEAGUE.
anyone else think the reason we didnt win on sunday was because we were the only team not to be wearing the FA Cup badges on our sleeves?
Paxtonjay we put our youth team out as we were saving them for the league in case you didn't see it
Very disapointed to see HR embracing and congratulating the Pompey manager after the game on Sunday.
I thought it was obligatory for North London team managers to get involved in shoving/ slanging matches with opposition managers.
nice article tricky - hope the boys play with as much in yer face aggression as you write!
Trickys calm before Spookys storm.
Just a shame we are going into the most important matches of the season with so many injuries.
With a full squad to choose from, I think we could have taken points from all of the next 3 matches and Man City.
Not so sure now.
Should have strengthened in January and we have compounded the problem by loaning players out who are better than we can now call upon.
Fingers crossed!
"5-1 in the Carling Cup; Fabianski, Sagna, Justin Hoyte, Gallas, Traore (Eduardo 65), Hleb, Denilson (Fabregas 18), Silva, Diaby, Walcott (Adebayor 65), Bendtner. Bet you don’t recognise any of their ‘yoof’ from that day a couple of years back."
ERRR... at the time of kickoff:
Traore 18
Denilson 19
Fabregas 20
Diaby 21
Walcott 18
Bendtner 19
How is that not Youth?
------------------
Carling Cup winners 2008, more recent silverware of note: FACT.
HAHA... if you're including the youth cup as noteworthy then we're including the emirates cup that we won this year... League cup.. hehe.
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The fact that the ‘kids’ in the ‘cup team’ is now the biggest fallacy in the EPL today. Unfortunately a myth still perpetuated by the media, who have conveniently failed to notice that it is not what it was over 5 years ago when they were winning other stuff, it has now graduated into being ‘kids blended with experience’ or some other crass title that basically means ‘1st team with a few rested and a couple of youth team members thrown in’ or more than likely ‘a balance of 1st team starting and second choice members’
Errr...
Vs West Brom this season:
Chesney Hawkes 19
Gibbs 19
Coquelin 18
Ramsey 19
Wilshere 17
Traore 20
Watt 18
Sunu 18
Yeah that's the first team.
Nice facts... think you've been spending too much time with rafa.
Oh the Goonskis that come over really do make me laugh. The youth team has hit (another) raw one as they scramble through the almanac to disprove it. How about when you progress to the later stages, what happens then goonies? Or whe. You're inevitably dumped out of Europe? I think that's when you start changing your selection policy.
But I get that, it's about managing the priorities, expectations and squad. Sadly the goondocks can't see that, because they're blind from wanking at all hours to pictures of the next Henry. Just like their mis-manager.
Another article, and I find another goon on it...GROAN! do me a favour! Can a yiddo not get a moments peace?! (pardon the pun)
THIS IS A SPURS BLOG...FRANCE IS OVER THERE YOU MUPPET!
Fantastic article btw Tricky, one of the best ones I've read on here.
Goon hypocrisy knows no bounds or limits. The amount of times Wenger has uttered something that has got me thinking: 'Hang on! You said the complete fucking opposite 2 months ago!' is astounding. He has the short-term memory of a stoned goldfish.
Anyway, let's give someone a nice Spurs send off tomorrow/today, might be the last chance.
Tottenham Legend
http://u.goal.com/2200/2266_news.jpg
i have goon filth in my family.and they are all damaged goods.
if i see any at the lane ,they get the same treatment.and i mean that.
I HATE ALL GOONERS.although iits always a no show with them .
party time tonight.
watch out gooners! YIDARMY!
WINTER WEEKEND61.
Spot on re Wenger. Such a shame that the only manager in their history to get them playing a decent style of football turned out to be a classless lying hypocrite.
If we lose tonight, I hope we lose to the Chavs as well. Not a popular view but the thought of us assisting the Arse to win the league does not bear thinking about.
And to be honest, I think fourth place is Man Citys now.
Daniels, thatnks for doing some research for us, however; 1) you've selected only the players that are 'younger' from the 5-1 losing team conveniently forgetting the like's of Hleb and Gallas, 2) most of them were or are 1st team players anyway and 3) they all appear eligible to vote so 'adults' would be more of an appropriate term.
Somewhat ironic that your name is an anagram for 'Denials' though don't you think?
------------------------------------------
And one final point on the many facets of the two-faced myopic chese eating surrender monkey. One goon has pointed out to me that his contradictiy statements are his way of deflecting criticism from the team, by making himself the focus of post match interviews (his logic being that this of course making him a good manager).
Well there is a section of the population who do something very silimar, that maybe I should reference, who basically deflect criticism by lying to the public. They're called politicians, and are held is as much regard by the rest of us in the real world.
And I personally welcome all goons to read and comment, maybe one of them will actually learn something. Just maybe........
Bloody Hell Trickster, this working from home lark leaves you with far too much time on your hands. Nevertheless great post, although I do have to take exception to the bit about Goons being blinkered, because I am 100% certain I don't know any Goons who defend their manager, and players to this extent. In my experience they always tell the truth, see every foul that their players commit, when one of their players gets injured they always say, that was unlucky the guy was going for the ball. Goons will always condemn their manager when he is in denial, and never come out with benile, biast or unreal statements about their team.
I feel you should retract this!!!
In the immortal words of Holly
ADDITIONAL
I believe that Arsen Wenger is the perfect candidate to run for M.P in the upcoming election, running on the slightly honest ticket. Afterall he does have the integrity of most of our current M.P's and would fit in perfectly.
What I can't believe is that I spelled Biased wrong.
1 carling cup or over a decade of champions league football.... hmmm tought choice
boring self indulgent article as ever
hehe Tricky , you may have gotten a lot of criticism for your write ups but i for one enjoy them trough and trough
Wenger brought nice and fluent football to the Arse , has a pretty solid transfer politics but is on of the most whining , hypocrite people in the footballing universe. And you know that football is just filled with hypocrism so to top that ranking you better be damn good at it.
Credit where credit is Due , Well done Arse'n you won something ...
Ignore the naysayers Trickster, if they don't wanna read it, they can blog off. Or start their own blog that I'm sure will just fire.
Comment, joust, expand and argue, don't just complain.
Great piece Tricky!
The journalist Harry Harris says that when Alan Sugar was running the club in the mid 90s he told Sugar that Spurs fan Dennis Bergkamp was available for transfer. Sugar went to Gerry Francis who said "No thanks, we've got Teddy Sheringham". Harris goes on to contend that if it wasn't for Bergkamp's transfer alongside the appointment of a certain French coach, then the success of our near neighbours might not have been nearly as much as it was.
Don't buy it myself, I can't see one player making such a difference, and I have no opinion on how reliable Mr. Harris is, but an interesting factoid nonetheless, particularly given Mr. Francis' deciding Ruel Fox is worth £4m but Bergkamp evidently wasn't required.
And one final point on the many facets of the two-faced myopic chese eating surrender monkey. One goon has pointed out to me that his contradictiy statements are his way of deflecting criticism from the team, by making himself the focus of post match interviews (his logic being that this of course making him a good manager).
Well there is a section of the population who do something very silimar, that maybe I should reference, who basically deflect criticism by lying to the public. They're called politicians, and are held is as much regard by the rest of us in the real world.
As much as I hate agreeing with a goon on anything, I do wonder if your friend has a point. But then again he only seems to half understand it. Leave it to a discerning yid to actually figure out the truth. I think you might have nailed it on the head with bringing up the similarity to politicians.
I have to imagine that with clubs the size of Arse that these comments are to some extent vetted by PR advisors. Not unlike the way that politicians are. I have to imagine that Arsene's hypocritical whinging about Route 1 football, the unfairness of the schedule etc isn't totally out of place in an overall PR strategy that Arse has devised for itself. In which case the problem and gayness of the matter goes deeper than the frog frontman. It's part of Arse's face it chooses to present to the world. No surprises there of course. He is the ultimate expression of Gooner-ness as far as I'm concerned.
On a related note look at Fergie and his "mists of venom" bollocks. He made that comment a day after his "typical Germans" dig. Perhaps the "typical Germans" thing was in the heat of the moment but he had clearly given thought to "mists of venom" and I can only imagine the PR people at Manure seemed to think this was a good idea.
I actually think in both cases, the comments aren't designed to "deflect" attention from the team. They are dumber than that. They are meant to present the invincibility of their clubs. Arse and Manure can do no wrong. They are never crap when they lose points or get thrashed by foreign clubs who school them on football. They are wronged. It is the ... (fill in the blank) evil referees, evil Germans, evil Spaniards, evil schedule that trips them up.
Intellectually I do think Fergie and Arsene are among the greats of football managers. But they are both whining drama queens with no class.
Say what you will about 'Arry, and you can say a lot. He doesn't go in for this decidedly un-English whinging. In some cases to his detriment. But I would rather have a manager with a sense of class and grace--even if hehe may be a criminal :)
Predictions for tonight's game anyone?????????
Good read Tricky but no need to be long-winded.
The reason I hate the woolwich mongs and their new-found tarquin mates
is simply:
THE CUNTS HAVE NEVER GOT PROMOTED.
They need to fuck off until they join the top flight on merit. Until then every
"honour" they've won is dishonourable.
Some goon mongs understand this fact but don't care. Others are just
ignorant (Tarquin who thinks football is an early 90's invention).
They are equally scum cunts and will never understand the true meaning
of sport.
Awesome article tricky. i read this post match..and after the chelsea game. still have a smile on my face.
Bruce Springsteen, believe us!
We always like you,
Whether watch your concerts,
Or only a video.
Your music is so intense!
Wish to see you,
In any concert that take place,
Our love is that of Romeo.
However how pricy are tickets!
We got’ em in ticketwood.com