The Tweets of Heurelho Gomes
Friday, March 5, 2010 at 3:19PM (translated into English)
Made toast. Dropped it. Butter side up. Made more toast. Dropped it. Butter side up. Made another round of toast. Dropped. Butter side up.
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There is a trend developing here. Perhaps I should not butter my toast.
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Cruz, my pet cat brushed my leg and I collapsed in agony. I cried.
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At training. Penalty practice has began. No one has scored. Yet to take up my position.
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Still training, jogging. Saw birds nest blow in wind, egg falling. About 20 feet away.
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Run towards falling egg, impossible to reach, dived, one arm out-reached, caught egg with finger tips.
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Gave egg to Spurs fan in tree with binoculars and asked him to return it to the nest.
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Brushed up against some stinging nettle. The pain was intense. I collapsed in agony. And cried.
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Left car keys in changing room. Daws throws them at me. I place my hands up to catch. I miss. Don't understand, my positioning was good.
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Back home. Knock on door. Spurs fan with his wife. Fourth one this week I'm allowed to sleep with. The wife. Not him.
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Alan Hansen on Match of the Day. I collapsed in agony. And cried.
Reader Comments (16)
The first two tweets. Genius.
ROFLMFAOLOL!!!
bit harsh, stinging nettles bit made me chuckle
"At training. Penalty practice has began. No one has scored. Yet to take up my position"
That happens all the time at the Lodge. Players think they're taking the cross bar challenge.
Heurelio beating Murphy's law , excellent
Great, but nothing can be compared to the Stupendous Adventures of Bale and Bentley.
Quality!
No more tweets today, dropped i-phone.
Spurs fan in a tree?
That's a 'Ben' reference. Not too many reading this would have got that.
Pre game ritual, jumped up yaaaay, jumped up yaaaaaay, jumped up ouch banged head on crossbar. In agony, I cried
Imagine the waterlogged penalty area if Gomes and Heskey were to get caught in a 50/50 with each other,, there'd be tears all over the place
Harry say me buttery flingers.
I very annoyed
Kick cat, goes straight into touch.
Throw cat, cannot be found never again.
Roll cat out to Dawson, he kicks straight out of touch.
Some of lads say their girl friends want Brazilain
No idea why they smiling.
@JohnTerry26 come join me at Tottenham. You will enjoy very much. Every week their fans say I can sleep with their wives <@:)
why doesn't darren tweet me anymore?
Didn't catch the 'guest article' until a half hour ago. The quality of the writing was reflected in the quality of comments. Good work all round, if you agreed with the article (I did) or not.
Clearly fake. Gomes doesn't catch eggs, he pushes them away