The Alan Davies Guide to Supporting Arsenal
Saturday, September 5, 2009 at 1:20PM The 7-step Guide
1) Get into football because your mates like it
2) Read Fever Pitch by Nick Hornby
3) Nothing before the year 1996 is relevant so do not refer to the pre-Wenger era unless quoting something from Fever Pitch
4) Bang on about Spurs not winning trophies, ironically failing to grasp the fact that Arsenal have gone 4 years without any silverware
5) If you're a talentless comedian, take time out from a second-rate panel show and appear on Soccer AM because that will help perputate you as a true fan and win over all the Tarquins watching
6) Make up stuff about Spurs fans i.e. Spurs fans think they're gonna win the league and bang on about it because you think it will help perputate you as a true fan and win over all the Tarquins watching
7) Always order the ribs at half-time
Reader Comments (37)
not to put too fine a point on it but the bloke is complete and utter Twat,.
Guide to being a spurs fan:
#1. Delusional personality.
#2. Win 2 games = We're gonna win the world cup......Lose 2 games = Sack the manager.
#3. Utterly consumed with your more illustrious, successful neighbours Arsenal. To the point that you spend your sat mornings talking about 'famous' Arsenal supporters, rather than concentrating on your next game.
Curly haired welsh c***!!
Their manager is a paedo and should be put down with maximum violence.
And the guide to being a spurs fan?
1. Live a deluded, bitter world of Lilly shite, wasting your time moaning about Arsenal fans and the travesty and injustice at the club that cheated you out of a top league place almost 100 years ago? Saddo
"#3. Utterly consumed with your more illustrious, successful neighbours Arsenal. To the point that you spend your sat mornings talking about 'famous' Arsenal supporters, rather than concentrating on your next game."
As opposed to being an Arsenal fan and spending your saturday afternoons posting on a Spurs blog I take it?
Davies = 100% Made In China plastic
Think the club has always played beautiful football and moan when the likes of bolton and blackburn play "Anti football" yet fail to realise that they played shite football for ninety years. Hypocrites.
i`m a spurs fan, this is a rather shit read, and now i`m wasting my time on replying to this, DARN
COYS
Vast majority of their fans are from the paedo era.
Come on guys !! Alan Davies is a comedian (of sorts) and is entitled to poke fun at Spurs or any other team, just like I am and you are. Is it not a fundamental part of the "democracy", which you foolishly believe that you are part of ?.
Relax, cool out, things like this work out..;-}
Win jack shite again this year. Sure their fans will turn on paedo again.
he failed to mention we beat the scum 5-1 ahahahaha
"Alan Davies is a comedian (of sorts) "
As far as I can see the only laughter comes from his lack of intelligence on quiz shows, something his Twitter account shows isn't an act.
So , by that reckoning intelligence is funny ?. Some people may like his presumed daftness, and obvious humour !.
'he failed to mention we beat the scum 5-1 ahahahaha'......., or when you managed to draw against Arsenal last season, you know, the one you sold a DVD on the back of. pffff
Who is Alan Davies?
I know I've been away a bit, but honestly his name registers even less than that black Brummy bloke with glasses in the old Halifax adverts. I take it he's even less funny than that?
Highly amusing thread. Chill the f@ck out people it reads like a bunch of nutters with too much time on their hands wrote it
Let's face it chaps, the guy is an extremely unfunny foil to Stephen Fry. He is simply the stooge village idiot "comic" turn on QI. Just ignore the bloke, he gets pissed up and bites a tramp's ear when he's had a couple of jars. The guy was only asking for a quid for a Big Issue. What a legend... Typical of a Wenger loving twat. Obviously got into football to define his non-personality. The guy is a total wankstain and should not even be on our Yiddo radar. Forget the prick, he's a total non-entity. Come on you Spurs!
FAO Arsenal fans. You lot hate Tarquins who go to your homes games, so all Spooky is doing is taking the piss out of them. Talk about no sense of humour, you humourless twats.
I'm an Arsenal fan (linked here from the Arsenal-World website) and I agree that Alan Davies is a bit of a tool but is he really worth wasting your time commenting on?
I don't think Spurs will win the league but they have a good shout of finishing above the arse.
struggling with those last two posts
He's a cunt of the highest order is Davies. Banned from driving, then drives home from court. Bites the ear on a tramp. What a guy.
I saw him on Soccer am. Called Harry a crook. He's such a nonentity of a celeb football fan. YAWN.
Still, Spooky nails it. Worth having a dig back.
In peace - Thanks MC, much appreciated. However, I'm free to comment on it because it is total disrespect from a totally talentless wanker. Gooners such as him are running scared. We are after fourth place (or better) and the Goons will be playing Europa Cup football at best next season.
I'm an Arsenal fan. Davies is a twat. I guess the price of success is people jump on the bandwagon, so if you lot do something, expect one or two to appear from out the woodwork, sucking up the glory.
Arsenal fans CHILL. We had a laugh about all the facebook relegation bullshit from last season. Take it on the chin you bland boring fuckwits.
My team will be tottenham, irregardless what happen to Arsenal.............win or lose, spurs 4ever. By the way, come on Scotland!!!
irregardless *
very interesting development of the language. Are you a linguistic scholar Nelson?.
That's the attitude Nelson! Yids for life! Good luck in your international - how's Hutton doing in the match against Macedonia?
Think we will miss out the WC again....sigh............
Ooh quick arsenal fans mobilize! Some spurs fans are being rude about us on the internet, put down the espresso and put them in their place!
So famous football supporters then. Our monarch King Harald V of Norway is a yiddo! His dad was a gooner though.
Ha ha this was a brilliant read. Someone pokes fun at your club and you lose it... coming out with all the Nick Hornby stuff. bless ya. He's been going to the Arsenal since the 70's and has probably spent more time and money at shit away games (which i'm sure are you badge of honour than), and enduring crap arsenal sides of the 80's than you have on you season ticket for all the times you have bought one (if indeed you have). relax. He took the piss. Move on. Or maybe somewhere deep down the truth hurts...
I'm a Spurs fan and I thought it was funny, if a bit cringe-making. As a gooner he's as entitled to take the piss out of us as we are out of them. Driving home from court after being banned isn't funny? Since when?
can honestly say as a spurs fan i have never read an arsenal blog/website, get a grip gooners and get a life
I doubt very much Spooky 'lost it'. He takes the piss out of Spurs more than he ever does Arsenal. And if Davies has been a 'fan' since the 70's, then more shame on Arsenal. He's smug cunt. Actually, I guess he's the perfect example of what an Arsenal fan is.