Forza England
Wednesday, June 20, 2012 at 11:48AM I'm not quite back in love with England. I hardly even lust her. I wouldn't even consider a one night stand. Perhaps a cuddle at best. If it did lead to a kiss I might lose myself momentarily and allow a tug although I expect it wouldn't get beyond a limp state. I call that a Milner. She probably wouldn't even notice that I wasn't too keen. She'd just be happy to be there and to have caught my attention. And so on.
There is nothing sexy about Hodgson's men but I quite like that mainly because there's nothing sexy about England these days. All that pomp and expectation that anchored the fabled golden generation to disappointment is gone, although as shared in a previous blog, I enjoyed the delusion that came with the ridiculous notion that this year would finally be the year we do it. Belief is such a powerful emotive. It renders reality irrelevant that all the hope and want is misguided. It fuels you as a supporter and makes the sport you love a far more rewarding experience, even if you end up losing and hurting. You feel more alive for it. Spurs fans know what I mean. England fans of old also.
I can close my eyes and still see Italia 90 like it was yesterday (don't ask me what I was literally doing yesterday though because I won't remember, in fact don't even bother asking me what I did two hours ago, thanks to MDMA and countless summers under the Ibiza sun). That game against Cameroon. There was one moment where I was such a wreck, a ball of nervous nerves nerving, that I walked outside into the garden and wondered around trying to calm myself down from having a heart-attack. Such was the intensity, the hope to keep the dream alive. I returned to glare at the tv again and pray for safe passage into the next round (with thanks to Lineker). My heart pumping and head racing through countless permutations and what ifs and how I'd handle a loss if it happened. All the games we're like that. Euro 96 also. Then it slowly started to degrade, for me any way, with each passing tournament.
I'm still waiting for that moment in the present day, that rush of blood, to have me genuinely jumping off the sofa and screaming at the telly in celebration or frustration. I did lift my hand up when Rooney scored. Worked a treat for me as on the way back it picked up a drink that sat waiting on the coffee table. Good timing. I was thirsty.
That's not to say there weren't any moment of joy. There were moments of actual joy to behold. John Terry. What a moment that was. For a minute I thought he'd score when that cross pinged across the six yard box but it zinged past him. Wouldn't want that now would we. Still, I made a pre-tournament promise that I would not be counting any goals scored by him. Yes, that's right, I don't count goals scored by people of his colour. The colour of hypocrisy. It's an ugly colour.
What about his clearance? I guess we need to be thankful to that bloke that stands by the side of the goal staring into space day dreaming about that other bloke whose job it is to scan the stadium for fit looking female supporters via tv camera. Now that's a job of importance and more importantly, fun. Shame he didn't take a second to perhaps zoom in on the sleepy official with the mundane job, missing the fact the ball actually crossed the line. We all like to laugh at someone having a snooze during the football. But hey, whatever, who cares. Justice for Lampard and all that.
Ukraine did okay. Had a fair few chances, but failed to take them. We had a couple also. A Rooney sitter, Cole with a decent effort. Okay so it wasn't exciting, we're not exciting. Hodgson has the team well drilled (he's got that particular thing trademarked) and organised, even though you suspect a far stronger opponent would not struggle much against our backline with perhaps a clever ball or burst of pace. Just how far stronger other teams are currently is up for some debate. France hardly looked bothered in their game against Sweden, Blanc drawing a blank, distracted no doubt from being linked to the Spurs job. We have that effect on managers.
England work hard off the ball, but we're hardly majestic on it. Aside from Scott Parker who just has to run around to look like something from a 1950's action comic book. But as a collective, we're just very average. We ride our luck a fair bit but as witnessed at club level, this can sometimes be enough for a team to go all the way to the final. The plucky can be crowned kings. It's happened famously at international level also. I doubt very much the England players would turn down the chance for some Greek. The reality is, we'll probably get spanked instead.
Gerrard (to be fair to him) has done quite well, particularity with his deliveries. One of the old guard proving a point. Hart has been kept busy between the sticks and remains quite sharp when called upon to react. Another major positive is the tabloids will have to write positive things about the team through gritted teeth, still probably seething from the irony of being accountable for losing Redknapp the England job and then in turn being responsible for the said catalyst that saw Redknapp also lose his job at club level too. Keep it up Roy. They're hating this.
We're in the quarters so I guess I should stick a smile on it. The glory hunter within me is primed and ready to burst out in a fit of hypocritical giddiness. Sunday against Italy and the prospect of a semi-final against the Germans (maybe) if we win. I might actually sit up, even shift my backside onto the edge of the seat.
Forza England.
Reader Comments (18)
"Another major positive is the tabloids will have to write positive things about the team through gritted teeth, still probably seething from the irony of being accountable for losing Redknapp the England job and then in turn being responsible for the said catalyst that saw Redknapp also lose his job at club level too. Keep it up Roy. They're hating this."
I'm loving Woy at the moment (Not physically of course). May god speed him all the way to the final with deflected goals, shots over the line, ridiculous sendings off and players getting three yellow cards and staying on the pitch. I will laugh like a drain at the Sun trying to big-up England being in the final without actually mentioning Woy once and still getting Harry's opinion.
Calling from ´Gran Canaria´ when´s David Moyes being unveiled.
A good take on it! England are playing a risk free game a la Chelsea in the European cup. Lets give Roy his due, he has the team well oganised and working hard--he is getting the best out of limited resources, and is the first manager to get the best out of Gerrard who at last has a clearly defined role and is carrying his responsibilities well. It all really makes me wonder about the insight of the FA in appointing Capello in the first instance, and even more so in re-appointing him after the fiasco of the last World Cup.
The way England is playing is effective and is based on the idea we will at least get one decent chance in the game if we defend well. An unfortunate legacy would be if this tactic becomes the norm in the Premiership as it is really just boring to watch. It at least interesting to see what happens now as we have to play to win and will have to cope with real quality strikers like Balotelli and company but lets wish them well they are showing the flag bravely.
P.S. It is so reassuring to know Blatter thinks goal-line technology is essential--he really would fit in well at the FA.
When Lennon was left in England and Oxygen Chamber and Milner where on the plane i knew we would play shite and get to the quarters we have done both.
I share the sentiment of having lost all passion down the years. That Cameroon game, incidentally, is my first England memory. I was 6 years old. I shed tears in the semis of Euro 96 and the Argentina game @ France 98.
I think it reflects the mood of many spurs fans that we don't really give a toss about England. Particularly how badly our season ended. It was a mixture of the FA, England, Terry, Chelsea and the Woolwich that was the cause of that sickening period. And the current England team has all those factors in abundance. That is why I cannot bring myself to support England this tournament. And after the 62nd minute in last night's game I finally decided, and felt justified, to want England out. I suppose since the Redknapp saga I was looking for a reason to justify not supporting them. John Terry, that racist cheat of all people, gave me all the justification I needed. Ukraine were cheated, simple as. Just as we were cheated at Wembley. We know all too well how that changes the dynamic of a game. Who knows, maybe Ukraine would have scored another, which would have knocked England out.
I actually came on the blog today to see what spooky had to say about the current AVB rumours. I am sick of England.
Come on Italia!
Sorry but I can't agree with any of these negative comments. Spooky, I feel your pain about previous England shortfalls and I understand the self-psychoanalysis you are putting yourself through to justify your fist-pump and re-kindling enthusiasm for the 3 lions despite yourself; but those feelings of disappointment and betrayal were the result of ridiculous levels of expectation hyped to the max by a rabid press corps coupled with some seriously bad luck and refereeing decisions. This Lions team has real heart. Outgunned and outclassed it is succeeding admirably. Roy has played a 4-4-2 in his last two games and we have attacked not 'parked the bus' as so many have suggested. It may not be the beautiful game, but it is not for lack of effort. And what about Wellbeck's stunner of a game-winner? That WAS a beauty.
I have to hand it to Roy and the legions of fans who have braved the heat and very real risks to life and limb to follow the Lions East into Polska and the Ukraine. They are cheering and singing and leaping the way we would be if we were there, I hope. All of this cynicism and negativity is skin deep and will disappear like a morning mist on a hot summer's day when that England v Germany semi-final is announced.
Come on ENGLAND! I, for one, wish I had the time and cash to be there to sweat and bleed for the shirt.
Due to the wonders of pay-TV and timezone difference, I've missed all but a few minutes of Euro 2012. It's passing me by.
I'm not English, so I can afford to be disinterested and/or jocular..
But damn Spooky, you write fine pieces. Each observation draped more delicately in black humour than the last- fantastic stuff.
My moment hasn't happened yet. I haven't quite found that instinctive grip pulling me into the game. Perhaps it is because I still hold expectations of old and keep comparing the present to the past. However, I'm not trying to force the issue either which is why I'm hoping to find my awakening. We are showing heart and there is a togetherness. I might wake up from my slumber if we beat Italy. Maybe then it will sink in that it's still England and that should be enough.
I am old enough to remember the 1970 WC and all the hype that went with it as it was the tournament after 1966. I was 9 at the time and actually believed that England could win the damn thing. That 1/4 final against Germany when England let slip a 2-0 lead (both goals scored by Spurs legends BTW, Mullery and Peters) to lose 3-2 was my first experience at the heartbreak that football would give me for the next 40 years or so. Spurs hadn't done to well the previous season, which had been my first as a Spurs fan, but the disappointment that that game gave me was the harbinger for all the failures that both club and country would experience. England would not qualify for a major tournament during my teenage years and Spurs would get relegated 7 years later. I am gearing up for more quarter final heartbreak. Possibly because of botched penalties at the end.
Nice to see its not just me who has failed to get psyched up for Euro 2012. I was putting it down to the early onset of middle age.
I think Roy H has really got the thin end of the wedge, what with the lack of English Players in the Premiership, the number of injuries, Rooney's ban, Terrygate situation and the amount of pick and choosers on the standby squad. Shame to see England having to play like Chelsea, bit worried that we'll be left short if anything happens to Scott Parker or Gerrard. Think we've got enough to beat the bung merchants and you never know if Greece can do it - Jermain DeFoe might score a hat trick in the final.
You know normally we are waiting for spurs transfers to start...and we wait...and wait and then at ten to midnight we make failed bids......why do I get the feeling that in august on Saturday at qtr to three there will be a load of players waiting for someone to give a team talk.........you know that feeling you had in 90 for the cameroon game.....well I have something similar about our search for a gaffer...I keep checking....bbc...sky...talksport... Whenever I can in the hope that i read firsthand someone I want has got the job....but lurking is the fear as I walk into work one day my colleagues will all laugh and clap and wave pictures of rafa benitez at me......shivering just thinking about it..... The euros are a pleasant distraction...no more than that.
The irony of racist boy lifting a trophy while country and FA look on is too strong to be resisted. The gods have willed it. JT will hoist the poison chalice, heralding yet another golden era of false dawns and mind-numbing mediocrity.
I have a feeling that you will beat Italy, Germany and France in succession. Penos against Germany of course. JT will say something utterly vile and racist to Ozil moments before he misses his penalty. Riberry will head butt him in the final after he whispers something in his ear that would make Materazzi blush. It's already been written ...
England goal against Germany over the line but denied. No need for goal line technology, bleats FIFA. England clear a ball that was over the line, opponents denied. Goal line technology essential, says Blatter. England would benefit - No change. England's opponents would benefit - change. Coincidence or paranoia?
This England side is a bunch of workmanlike duffers, probably because we don't have that one creative genius who can light up a match with a single inspired moment. But who knows, we may do a Greece or a Denmark. Unless it goes to penalties...
@David - hahahahahahahahha! - Hart, Lescott, Milner, T***y, Cole, Gerrard, Rooney - check out these boys wages before referring to them as `Hodgson`s limited resources`!
@davspurs - it don`t matter who plays RM with Johnson at RB. He always ignores his RM, runs straight past him, cuts inside and loses the ball forcing his RM to cover for him. Hence Milner`s selection.
It was the 'golden generation` who turned me off England. Beckham, T***y, Fat Frank and the other under achievers who consider themselves so important they only talk through hand covered mouth for fear of being lip read. Probably because they were discussing the prospects of roasting Wayne Bridge`s missus, rather then football.
The prospect of the Italy game might rekindle my passion though. I`d love to see Balotelli lose to anyone. In fact I`d love to see a real sickening clash of heads between Balotelli and T***y, so neither could disgrace a football field again.
As for Germany, here`s hoping they crash out as soon as possible, so Herr Loew can finally be unveiled as our new boss!
@cookiebun Moeys to Spurs is so last week, avb is the current primero, soon to be ecclipsed by blanco and others, looks like this one will run and run, acording to the press. My hunch is none of the above resulting in Sherwood in situ at least for Newcastle trip.
Engerland under SGE were a quarter final side which transalates to a team that could beat also runs but got humililatted by proper teams. Whether it is italy or germany that pull teh trigger this time it looks same old story to me.
@moe
My grandfather is a dyslexic sociopath, and computer illiterate, in fact, he was once found naked using his laptop as a sun lamp. Which chokes me up, he'd have loved to have read your BaloTerry meeting-of-minds fantasy, but alas, pops is no longer with us, we smothered him!
:)
Wisky Tom - if your described grandfather is an alter ego that you`ve designed for me - then it`s scary how accurately you`ve read me.
However, I have discovered how to make the laptop double up as a sun lamp. Simply browse the catalogue on www.mythaibride.com whilst eating a family bag of wotsits and you - like me - will wake up with one of those exotic orange tans. I just can`t figure out how to make it spread beyond my genitals.
Now tell me you wouldn`t like to see that clash of heads - and I might be tempted to call you a liar!
Ummmm, I'll record it just on the off chance.