We. Made. A. Mistake.
Thursday, April 1, 2010 at 11:08AM It's time to come clean. All of us. We need to stand under the shower of truth and allow the cleansing water to wash away the filthy lies and delusions from our bodies. The stench has become unbearable. We have walked the streets alone far too long, pretending and fooling ourselves that the empire of dust we worship has the foundations to aid us in reaching the heavens. Our faith, corrupted. Our hopes evaporated. The dust, blown away by the wind.
All this time, we whispered words that had no meaning. And now, these words, no longer twisted, stare back at us, taunting, as clear as the sun in the sky on a summers day. And there is nowhere to run to escape the chants.
We. Were. Wrong.
We. Made. A. Mistake.
He's. Better. Than. Sandra.
We should never have sold him.
Saturday 3rd April. The Stadium of Light. 3pm Kick-off. Sunderland v Tottenham Hotspur.
A team of Spurs rejects, led by another reject. Darren Bent. 21 goals. Goal machine. Defoe? Take away the five he scored against Wigan and he's lagging embarrassingly behind. Bent a reject? I think not. A man on a mission. Focused. Able to adapt to his surroundings and make it work in his favour. Who else can cunningly use a beach-ball to trick an opposition keeper? Defoe is nothing more than a loyal friend of the offside flag.
We took £10M+ for Bent and gave him away to Sunderland. Just because he shared his soul via Twitter. That's like paying a hit man tuppence to shoot you in the face twice (he might miss the first time round). Twelve yards requires a sniper rifle. Point blank, and he'll find his target.
Another nail in the Champions League coffin. Hammered into place by the hands of Daniel Levy, guided by the screams of Harry Redknapp.
There used to be a football club here.
Reader Comments (73)
Loyalty Point Cut Off = The perfect start to the weekend.
Nice work Spooky, got me going there for a minute.
Saturday, just like last Saturday, is going to be our make or break season. We win, we put the pressure back on Pool and Man City. Our win last week forced 2 of the 4 chasing packs to slip up badly (Everton drawing while Villa got molested badly). If we win again, we break the 60 point mark and the goal line for 4th will begin to appear more brightly. We pick up this necessary win and our streak of continuous win stretches to 6, which in turn will put the ARSE on notice that we are not going to fold for them when they get to the Lane.
COYS.
I sit here now & can't imagine anything other than the boys & Arry realising the huge importance of this match. It is another cup final, just like so many games lately, but if you want top 4 you've got to be winning these games.
COME ON YOU SPURS, we're nearly there. Be proud & be strong, keep the faith. 2-1 to the SPURS.
give it a rest and enjoy this great season...well done arry and the boys
coys
Prem goals per min this season:
Torres: 91.7 mins per goal
Rooney: 95.1
Drogba: 95.8
Tevez: 122.1
Defoe: 123.6
Berbatov: 139.7
Bent: 142.9
Fabregas: 145.9
Saha: 148.2
Lampard: 157.5
Malouda: 166.3
Agbonlahor: 224.6
getting up 4am sat to go to game meeting mates at todmorden lancs then leeds then newcastle have a few to many to calm the nerves then to sunderland where i will be a bag of nerves hoping bent plays like sandra and we somehow come away with 3 points and we can celebrate all the way to wembley way and beyond please god let this happen coys xxxxxxx
did that many people really miss out on the april fools-ness of this post?!
Great piece. I dont rate Defoe...cant score one on one's or penalties. All he can do is convert a fair amount of chances. No finesse, no football brain and when his feeling confident...his arrogence fucks it. He is at best a sub,a great sub to bring on and OMG...never an international...well maybe for scotland.
To the guy who worked out the minutes per goal - well done. It is a stat that they never publish. All this goals per game and per start stuff is still inconsistent.
By the way - the sheer number of people who did not get the April fools joke sarcasm is due to a nerve being touched. Bent left in a bad way, and talked down Spurs - and treated us with a lack of respect. He forced a cut price move that made Spurs look bad. He deserves the flak on this page - April fools or not. By the way, an April fools joke is usually something made up (a story or product, or advert), rather than a dodgy opinion....
It was April the 1st yesterday?
TT, that is why the piece is brilliant.
We never have to read the pathetic attempts of the club to endear the player to us by using the oddly Blytonesque and unimaginative nickname of 'Benty'. For this alone we must be grateful.
We were right to sell him as he did not fit in, Harry could have build a team around him but didn't want to, it amazes me the amount of fans that know better than Harry and especially after the event.
Darren Bent, cannot make a chance, it has to be made for him, laid on a plate, for him to slot home. When he does score, it seems to be against lesser side, and not the top sides. In important games, if we need to score against Man Utd, with 10 mins to go, I'd bring on Pav not Bent.
very good, Spooky. That's why this blog is by far the most entertaining of the Lilywhite musings. Yeah, Bent - you can't say he doesn't score against the 'big' teams cos I seem to remember him scoring against the scum, Cheatski and Man Ure. But he was never a true Spurs player was he? He was an Ian Moores for the noughties..
That said I'm cakking my proverbials that the 'law of ex' bites us on the collective bum tomorrow.
All that and even Lawro and the Football 365 pundits are tipping us to win. When was the last time that happened - both us being tipped to win and actually doing the deed in the frozen wastes of the north east.
I witnessed a typical poncey Spurs away performance at the stadium of shite last season where Bent of all people missed a couple of sitters and we were saved by the pointy shouty one in the last minute.
A draw tomorrow simlpy isn't good enough. It has to be three points.
BIOYC! COYS!
that west ham blog link is hilarious. what a bunch of retards "i'm setting up a petition on facebook" hahahaha. is there a more odious group of fans in the league?? i think i hate them more than the gooners
by the way did anyone haapen to catch our friend matthew norman's write up of the arsenal game yesterday. It was the biggest wind up to gooners ever. he's gone ever so slightly up in my estimation now
Fox , where is the link ? I am in dire need of some amusement and to thick to find the link on me own
Here's the link to the Matthew Norman piece in the Standard. Great stuff!
http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/standard-sport/football/article-23821123-god-have-mercy-on-arsene-wengers-destroyed-and-battered-troops.do
Injuries getting worse - cudicini, daws, king, woody, corluka, jenas, hudd, palacios, lennon and naughton, hutton, o'hara and keane continue there bizarre absences by being on loan.
Team: gomes, bae, kaboul, bassong, walker, bale, modric, kranjcar/gudjohnson, bentley, pav, defoe.
I'm not confident now!!!!!! Defence looks weak and midfield lacking generals like wilson. I can see gudjohnson being asked to do the dirty work in CM.
Not looking good.
Spooky, you do love your sense of ironing. I bet you do your socks as well. You stack them up, the oxygen thieves knock 'em down. Everytime.
For the record, I wholeheartedly agree; Arthur is pony. Whether he does what many players seem do against previous employers or not, he'll still stand as being utterly wasteful for us.
Let's just hope Fabio displays the nous to leave him back in Blighty.
To Bent or not to Bent, there's plenty enough about us to dick Sunderland.
COYS
Innit.
All of a sudden I am weary of tomorrow's match. Lawd, please help us great through this match with at least a point. We are going to have a hard time curtailing those Sunderland guys I can just feel it.
Don't you acknowledge that this is high time to get the lowest-rate-loans.com, which would make you dreams real.