Gareth: Hi David
David: Hi Gareth.
Gareth: Fancy a Starbucks?
David: Yeah, sure. Why not.

Later, in Starbucks…

David: Oh God.
Gareth: What?
David: Look, over there.
Gareth: Oh yeah. Well, I guess it's no surprise. They practically live here. We should go over and say hello.
David: Do we have to? Let's get our coffee and go. I've got an appointment at Toni and Guys in an hour.
Gareth: We can't just walk out. It's rude.
David: Why not?
Gareth: Well for a start, you starjumped through the front door.
David: I know. That was cool.
Gareth: Yes it was, but did you really need to smile at everyone and point at your teeth?
David: It's my thing. Don't take it away from me.
Gareth: Anyway, it's too late. They've seen us...
David: Oh ffs…they're waving.
Gareth: Just smile and wave back. Don't be so grumpy.
David: They're a bunch of losers. We're not going over there are we?
Gareth: Yes. Just to say a quick hello.
David: Ballbags.
Gareth: Hi Ricardo.
Ricardo: Hello.
David: Hey Gilberto, looking good man.
Gilberto: Mate-me agora.
David: Yeah, whatever you say dude.
Pascal: At any given moment, I open my eyes and exist. And before that, during all eternity, what was there? Nothing.
Gareth/David: Hi Pascal.
Gareth: What you guys up to today?
Gilberto: Sou assustado e quero ir para casa.
Gareth: Coolio. An Pascal, looking good man.
Pascal: When you are deluded and full of doubt, even a thousand books of scripture are not enough. When you have realised understanding, even one word is too much.
David: If only one word was enough.
Gareth: What about you Ricardo?
Rocha: I am listening to the Ting Tings.
Gilberto: Não tenho nenhuma idéia o que estou fazendo aqui.
David: Well it's been nice chatting to you boys. See you around.
Rocha: Até logo, as they say.
Pascal: There is nothing you can see that is not a flower; there is nothing you can think that is not the moon.
David: Text me yeah.
Gilberto: Para o amor do Deus, alguém por favor me ajude.
Gareth: Ha, ha…you crack me up Gilberto, with your teary eyed puppy dog expressions. Too much caffeine I reckon.
David: Ok, and on that bombshell, we are out of here.

Later on in the day…

Gareth: I'm knackered I am.
David: Yeah, me too.
Gareth: What we got planned for tomorrow?
David: Fly fishing.
Gareth: Nice one.


IN NEXT WEEKS EPISODE: Gareth meets his alternate self from a parallel universe where he has never been on the losing side. But when they come into contact with each other it results in a catastrophic rip in the space time continuum, leaving David with the impossible task of kicking a planet 45,000,000 light years into the gaping hole to save the universe from collapsing in on its self. Does he save the day? Will Rob Grant and Doug Naylor sue? Find out next week.


Episode one can be found here.